Dear Linda,I read your blog everyday like it's the scriptures. Now I need your help. I have a question for your readers. I'll be grateful if you can put it up in your blog.I am 29 years old and I'm well educated. I'm quite good-looking, of average height, very smart and financially successful. In my final year in College in California, I was among the earliest employees to join a Silicon-valley startup that eventually got sold to Microsoft in 2009. I earned a few millions of dollars for my little stake in the company. I just bought my own house in Lekki, and I drive a decent SUV. I'm moderately comfortable, but I think I might be one of the most unhappy people around.
Awww, he reads my blog like it's the scriptures...that just made my day :-). But he needs your advice, so please continue reading...:-)
I moved back to Lagos two months ago in order to reunite with my family and try my hands in setting up a beverage company. When I came back in November, I started attending this church in my area. That's where I met this girl. Her name is Amaka- I know this because the pastor called her up to the pulpit last week to make an announcement in church. Linda, I'm crazy about this girl. Our eyes have met several times in church. Two weeks ago she even smiled and said 'hi' to me. I'm familiar with the signs and I know she likes me, but I'm scared to approach her. And it's not because I'm a wuss.
It's because I'm a very, very severe stammerer- the worst kind you'll find. It's really bad. I'm the kind of stammerer that when you hear me talk, you'll probably get irritated because it takes me so much time to say very basic things. Because of that, I don't really talk much- I just listen. I have lots of male friends who I've grown up with who understand my situation, and my former colleagues were very understanding and accommodating. Even my professors and classmates at school understood my situation.
I'm scared about approaching this girl because I fear that if I approach her and start stammering before her like a bitch, she might just laugh at me, or even get nauseated. What should I do? I screwed up a lot of opportunities with girls who seemed to like me in school simply because I did not approach them since I was scared of my stuttering problem. I've grown up having a lot of close male friends and buddies, but virtually no female friends because of this issue. I don't want to screw up this opportunity with this girl. What do I do? Should I just go to her, stammer like a mad man and make a fool of myself? Do you think she'll judge me because of this? Do girls hate stammerers?
Thanks.
M.
Do girls hate stammerers with millions of dollars? I don't think so...lol! But seriously, what's your advice to him?
BTW, I have his contacts, if any girl out there is interested. (In case it doesn't work out with Amaka) *cough*
186 comments:
I dnt think so,even w/out d money,gals can still like u.I hv a very gd frnd dat stammers,so,he shld tk a bold step.
I love stammerers maybe cos am one .it hasn't stopes me frm livin mi life to d fullest.had lots of boy after back in uni and lots of suitors too.am happily married wit two kids so mi advice is as long as you av a gud heart and u ar handsome ,u will never be short of women
I dated a stammerer! He was confident and that was sexy. Absolutely nothing wrong! I found it quite cute actually lol.x
How will she know you like her if you dont let her know?
How did you get into college . . did you not apply?
Regardless of whatever downsides you think you have, you have to at least make ur intentions know...somehow..needs not be verbal at first.
Good luck
I don't hate stammerers, but in all truthfulness, i can't stick talking to a stammerer for lengthy periods (e.g. 20 mins at a stretch) and that's because i am not a naturally patient person and i also love having conversations (I can gist for 3hrs straight, if time dey).
PS: My advice is that he should send someone (correct pesin oo) that can present his case well and tell her his limitations; it might work if she likes guys that don't talk much otherwise na yawa be that oo!
Dear LIB devotee, I do agree that most girls would not hate a man who stutters so badly once they are aware that he's got a heap of dollars stashed somewhere, whether in liquid or solid assets. I'm not an expert on relationships by any stretch of the imaginaion, but i reckon you shd go for her while keeping the true status of your wealth under wraps. Whether with Amaka or even with me, it would help you better in figuring out a woman who truly cares about you for you, and not the potential LV and Gucci-clad lifestyle your money would afford her. Yours, Miss Pepeye (Reading, England)
Awww!! Well, I'm currently in the U.S right now and I'll tell you, people are definitely more understanding and accommodating of situations like this than in Nigeria (from my experience.) I say you give it a shot, if you don't try you will never find out. If she is who you are meant to be with God will work something out, after all you met her in the house of God. Stop living in fear-- go out there and live life to the fullest, cause we've got a very short one.
he doesn't have to talk to her directly at first,he should slip her a note or something first and explain himself,and gradually when e don chop more liver he can approach her,i don't think its the stammering women dislike,its just that it sometimes indicates a lack of confidence and that is not sexy!
Truthfully it can be very unnerving if you have to wait for him to get it together and i hear even they get very out of sorts when they are trying to pass on a message and in the end this actually drives them more up the wall than the person they are trying to talk to.end result of this is that they are short fused(temperemental).he however sounds like a cool person.stammering in a lot of cases can be worked on.it takes love and patience and mr cool sounding dude here as to be ready to work on it.i am married but willing to help him FOC.
He has nothing to lose. It is better he approaches the girl and get rejected than not making any move at all. Guy man up.
Sorry forgot to put up my name.i am the lady who is willing to help him FOC.
Girls don't hate stammerers, it all starts with you. You have to be comfortable with your self and fuck what people think about the stammers. My brother inlaw is a lawyer and a bad stammerer but he still got court cases and is not doing badly, he's happily married too! A girl who loves you will love you for who you are. To crown it all, your pocket is glittering! Dammit! You are a gold mine!! 'Wink'.
Mr Stammerer,
Let me start by saying you are being too hard on yourself. You are your worst critic. After all these achievements you still lack confidence in yourself. And in this write up i cant count how many times you have put yourself down.The thing is when you think so negatively of yourself, the things you think about start to manifest themselves in your life. I have dated a stutterer before, and i overlooked that fact because he was a well put together guy with lots of swagger and charm. And i still even love this guy because he left a lasting impression. Dont be too hard on yourself. At this stage you should learn to control yourself. Just always remember to breathe and articulate your words slowly. No need to rush or be nervous. Just walk up to her shoulders high and ask for her number. Dont flaunt your wealth at her because she would only see that all that you are good for is your money.
ive dated a stammerer before. not a big deal. its not a turn off. what is a turn off is the huge lack of confidence. buck up and believe in yourself. am sure if she is the right girl it wouldnt matter to her either.
Aaaaaw,i feel so much 4him,anyway, You have to be a man,believe me,life is so much easier with blackberrymessenger,facebook,email,texts and all oda forms of social networking.i'l advice You to make use of one of dis medium 1st,...i once developed a friendly relationship with a guy thru bbmessenger,and later he told me he limped,eventually,wen we saw,it was bad,but,i had already liked his friendship,so when we went out and he came down from his car, i didnt even put my mind...and the story goes....*Anyway, so try get her pin facebook info from a colleague,since u dont even want to walk up to her yet....am sure it'l work out...God sees your heart.
Linda aren't you single? He is 29 and not much younger than you. You better grab him like you grab the gas cylinders and weaves..
On a serious note, you should speak to Amaka. Whats the worst that could happen? The way i look at it, life is to short to ask "what if" . She may/ may not be the will of God for you but you'll never know that if you keep quiet.
Awww...doesn't he just sound sweet. Ok,more seriously though,NO,GIRLS DO NOT HATE STAMMERERS> GIRLS "DISLIKE" SOME GUYS BECAUSE THEY ARE A**ES. If you like her, tell her! It's really that simple.Do it how you would if you weren't a stammer. Maybe,be creative and write her a silly note first saying you stammer, be cute about it.( I know, so '80s,but I think we need that kind of pattern to get back in now).
Aside from your seemingly good fininaces,I'd like to think you have got a lot more more important things going for you,like a great personally and such.(Don't get me wrong o, the money is a GREAT thing).So,tell the girl.Sitting around wondering never got any man "the girl".If it doesn't work, there'll be many more girls!! Like you said,you are not a wuss.
Linda pls as a matter of urgency link me up wt hm
Hehehehhehe! Ovoko Opi! I advise u to first use a mediator to explain ur predicament to her before u start, get her bb pin and allay her fears through chat, it wont be a suprise when u guys start talking later. I can marry a million dollar deaf and dumb dude
I think only shallow ladies dislike stammerers
dear M,
my heart goes out to you. I am a woman and i certainly know how we(females) can be so insensitive and cruel. This i know bcos i was once an "Amaka" and true to form behaved according to ur worst fears. It is only bcos he was more than a man, that we are together today and madly in love. You have to over come your fear, take the leap, it may be bad at first, but it will only get better. Today, i think im the only person he speaks to with the least stutters, bcos there is no fear talking to me. be courageous my friend, you sound like a fantastic guy, let your goal be to get her to know you as a person. if she herself is worth the trouble she will give you the audience. i implore you to take advantage of FB & BBM. you might think that sounds impersonal, but the goal is for her to get to know you with out the barrier of the stutter and i believe then she will give u audience. So yes, a woman can love a stammerer, with or without money.
There may be misunderstanding/communication problem esp when the stammerer tries to tell his girl 'your toe is big' :-)
I don't like to generalize but I think Nigerian's are more judgmental than American. Women more than men, so I can understand where you are coming from.Females do not hate stammerers at least I don't. I think you should go up and talk to her. If she reacts negatively, maybe she isn't meant for you after all. I also think you should speak more as opposed to been the listener all the time, in time you would build up your confidence and the stammering will go down. Nothing is permanent in life, I know stammers who don't stammer as much anymore. Your good to go dear, but don't let your stammering ever stop you from talking to a female or having female friends. Cheers and have a great day!
he could just feign being dumb, ask for her email or summin telling her it's important, then let her know his feelings ...if he can write this smooth, he should be able to woo her in writing, after she knows he's not dumb but a stammerer, she'll be much happier to date him...
Jeez, im such a romantic! #okbye
Looooollllll.eyahh I pity d dude sha.bt the thing is,not datpple hate stammerers.its just dat it sickens πϑ annoys wen u are in conversation πϑ d stammerer is taking a helluva time just 2 respond.go hit on d amaka girl o jare,nothin do u,stammerin s not a disease.if she liks you she wil accept u ƒσя wot u are.just dat I don't lik d way u advertisin ur pocket here! jeah.
I don't think a girl will make her decision based on your stammer. However I am concerned you have left it so long, speech therapy has proven very successful for people who suffer from a stammer. If it makes you so uncomfortable address it.
As for your lady friend - you seem like a smooth guy on pen and paper, perhaps you shoul initiate your interaction via Facebook or email. This will give her a chance to know you with the distraction of a stammer. Stammer is NOT you. Don't make it you.
Linda, i also stutter but it has not really prevented me from approaching any lady. What he needs to do is to let d lady knw abt d problem. But the first tin is for him to use a chat messenger to converse wit d lady first. That chat will build his confidence over time before any actual facial conversation. As a stutterer myself i have a greater confidence walking up to a lady afta we must have discussed via a chat ,messenger. Tell him to get a book called 'Redefining Stuttering'. The book is downloadable from internet-it will help him.
U r a fool,sum1 poured out his heart 4 us 2 help him out n here u r turnin it in2 a lafin mata.ewu
the things I cant stand are mouth odour, body odour, poor personal hygiene and a bad attitude.
I ve read through this article and to be honest, I think you should give it a shot. You ll never know if Amaka is actually the ONE for you unless you try. Dont let fear of rejection hold you back.
Life is not a rehearsal...You ve only got one life so in my opinion...be confident, take the risk. It may be well worth it. If it works...that would be awesome. If it doesn't,....then you wont spend the rest of your life wondering if you missed your chance..Goodluck!!
Errmmmm dear LIB reader! I don't mind whether you stammer or shed tears while speaking! Don't worry I'l coach u out of it;via love and patience! LOL!
Pls Linda is this guy still single, I bet u I can be prettier than Amaka. Hook me up.
I have a sister who stutters but she is ok now
look my guy,i use to stammer,i still stammer and i know i'ill continue to stammer.
however,i admit i stammer much less than before(few times,i speak publicly&no one even notices).
the trick is this...
ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU STAMMER&DONT TRY HIDING IT.
acceptance induces confidence.acceptance is not hoping you stop stammering,acceptance is enjoying stammering.bet you didnt know pat utomi stammers?only difference is he has accepted it which doesnt make it obvious
come to think of it,my wife says she got attracted to me cos of the way i speak.(i beat other fluent speakers to it o!)
enjoy life friend
pls don´t be too hard on yourself...you seem like a nice person...approach her and youll never know what may happen...Have seen the king´s speech? It is a beautiful true story. You´ll need a woman(like the queen mother) who is patient and CARING and that will love you for you.
Pls do not sell yourself short...take care.
I think you can still overcome your stammering through a logo-therapy. Girls love you more for what you do than for what you say or how you say it. Based on this, they can still love you. Just open up.
U would never know if u don't try shey?if u are too scared to speak why don't u write to her?she can read shey?my dad always told me dat wat ever u couldn't open ur mouth to say u could use ur hand to write,d bottom line is dat d message is passed across,if she's yours she's yours.stammering is not so abnormal and u could see a speech therapist to help u.so go for it man,no fear.I'm a girl and I don't hate stammerers,I'm actually very patient wit dem.hope u don't have a bad temper sha,most of d ones I knw have evil tempers.
GUY WETIN DEY DO YOU!!! NO DEY FALL HAND. Waka to that babe and talk the talk. If she no like am make she die. Me nah guy but I love hanging out with people that stutter because most of them have an amazing sense of humour and I'm sure you do. Girls definitely love guys that make them laugh. SO NO FEAR MY GUY!!! WHO THE GIRL BE SEF? NA AGBANI DAREGO? EVEN IF NA PRINCESS KATE
first i think your stammering is a very minute problem. you need to appreciate it because its part of what makes you You. second if indeed you approach the girl and she laughs at you then it means she isn't the right person for you. and last just be yourself because its better to experience than to not know at all what was there for you. p.s. dont always mention money because some people might just fake things just to get your money just being real
pls drop his number,i am nt in Nigeria at the moment,bt i'll like to know him better...thank u
Girls don't hate stammerers! Approach her. Try and develop a friendship with her but just don't tell her how much you're worth.
Who the girl be? Even if she be Linda Ikeji my brother no fear. Walk up to her and speak.
well, i feel its a lady who loves u dt can stick to ur stammering, money or no money. My bro and my sis both used to stammer when we were younger. initially we wld laff at them but after a while mom started frowning at us for mocking them and instead taught us to help them talk better. and the basic thing then was talk slowly to them so they wld respond slowly in return. Today we are all grown up and the only tym you wld ever hear them stammer lightly is when they are angry which is on rare occassions. So i feel she wld stick to you and help you out if she really loves you. So be confident about it and talk to her
Sorry man. I feel for you. Have you done some research to see if there's medical treatment to reduce your stammering? I don't think there is a complete cure, but I remember watching something on the Discovery Channel -some new treatment- and this was a few years back that may possibly help you. Have you ever seen a speech therapist? I think there is help for you out there if you look. Especially in California!! Look harder bros and do some research. I KNOW there is a treatment out there. I saw it on TV. Speak to health care providers in the States and you may be surprised. I wish you all the best.
I grew up with a mom who stammers when speaking to her people, in her native tougue. i believe its becus speak faster and this exposes stammering tendencies more. when she speaks in english to non-nigerians, she rarely/never stammers becus she mostly speaks slowly.
My suggestionto him is to speak slowly and confidently, speaking quickly doesnt necessarily come off as confident if you're not saying anyting significant. Guy, speak with moderation and think before you talk always, that should prevent the stammering.
@linda gimme his contacts, or u reply.u need to be bold here in nigeria
Pls be bold enough and walk up to the amaka babe,
#1, address reason why u stammer, anxiety or excitement...take a deep breadth, compose urself and ask for her pin or email add or fb name..its not so hard...my husband s a stammerer and i didnt notice until we started going out, he couldnt even talk to me intially, it started as a friendship and it blossomed, by the time i figured out his situation, i was already n love wt him...when he starts to stammer, i just plant him a kiss to calm him down and his words come out straight...wish i could help u build ur confidence but am taken, get a friend to approach her for u or u do it urself, ts no big deal...u'll be amazed, she'll love u for who u are if she's truly urs...goodluck M
my advice to not scare her, and to prepare her, is slip her a note and explain, you really want to say hi, but you happen to have a stammering problem. With that atleast she would be prepared, cuz i know the amaka you speak of, and i usually go to the church. So knowing her, it would be wise to write her a note first requesting a meeting for tea, etc. just a suggestion. Good luck.
The only best way out in this ur matter are,?you should pick up ur pen and book,write that u like her person and u will like to be talking with her each day,but ur conditions never allowed u to do so,then u can tell her all about u in that note,but pls never tell her in that note about ur car,house,and money,,explain ur liking her too,,then close the note,go urself and give it to her by urself,,outside the note,,write on it that u want her to read it in front of you,,,then keep on looking on her face as she read it,,after she finished reading it,u will know there if she like u too or not,,becos if u allowed her to read it at her home,,she maybe seeking advice from her friends,goodluck,,from swiss
There's absolutely nothing wrong with stammering. I have a friend who stammers pretty bad and it never bothered me, I always enjoyed completing her sentences as long as she knew I was a "friend" and not making fun of her, we'd just laugh about it. Now she's married with a baby on the way. The most important thing is confidence. If you really like this girl, you should go for it. There are some girl's who are attracted to stammerers, she just might be one of them... I once liked a guy only 'cos he stammered and I think a guy stammering is really cute *weird, I know* but we all have our "likes"
Anyway M, if you really like this Amaka, walk up to her and say hi..or if u really can't face her, u can get her number (u guys always do these somehow), start by texting, know what she's comfortable with then take it from there. But whatever happens, know that there's someone out there for you. I hope you find the happiness you seek. Goodluck!
Reading your story/message, it seems like you are a little too hard on yourself because of your stammering. You need to be confident, cut yourself some slack and live like you own the world! I also hope you don't have a temper because that spoils things a lot...
Don't buy it. He's lived in US & not sought speech therapy? They are able to almost completely cure stammering/stuttering... personally i don't have the patience.
poor dude that why he's in trouble rather than reading the scriptures his busy meditating on linda's blog. i'm sure he doesn't know pastor Binny Hinn was a severe stammerer in his youth(he was born with this speech impairment),look at him now...he spent time meditating on God's word and came out with a testimony.
let this not be a barrier. you are probably worried that she might laugh at you. let me tell something, all these 'happening boys' probably have lost count of the time they have been disgraced by babes and do you know what makes them hot? i would tell you they never stop the trying. even if Amaka does not like you another would love you. please don't shy away.
LOL linda how can you be offering his details or don't you know that this is your chance abeg grab am ooo as you said millions of dollars or don't you want that hahahaha????
I won't pretend to fully understand hw U̶̲̥̅̊ feel. I stammer too, but itz much better now, tho it was quite bad some yrs ago. U̶̲̥̅̊ need to work on Ʊr̲̅ confidence. It may seem easier said than done, but I'v discovered dt I stammer less when I'm not scared of stammering. U̶̲̥̅̊ can start by waving or saying hi to her i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ church, then proceed when U̶̲̥̅̊ Gƹτ̲̅ comfortable. She may or may not b dt open to bbm chatting(dt's ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ anyway). I'v dated a number of guys Α̲̅πϑ none of them was bothered wiv d stammering. Α̲̅πϑ yes, keep Ʊr̲̅ money under wraps for d time being. G̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡D̶̲̥̅ luck.
first things first,he shld slip her a note telling her he likes her and dat he is sending d note cos he stammers....if she is a luvly girl she might just walk up to him and make him feel comfy...he shld give it a shot and hopefully it will work out plus for all u knw amaka might be reading this she might just be an Lib reader...pls dnt give up cos u sound like a very sweet person and NO,GIRLS DNT HATE STAMMERERS...i once dated a stammerer and i actually liked him a lot..so gdluck and ive got dis feeling it will go well....
Ok bros. For now don't say anything. Write a letter to her explaining ur feelings. Then also tell her why u chose to write meaning explain ur stammering situation. If she lks u she will respnd +vly. Then u guys can tlk.
@February 5, 2012 4:29 PM
*sniff sniff* i smell a hoe
there are only two answers that exist in this world yes or no chose one
Awwww a nerd? I love. Come find me in toronto ;)
PS. Stammering isn't a big deal really. It doesn't ake anything away from mwho you are, so a lot of girls don't mind it. Just be confident and people may cease to even notice it :)
xo
in this day and age where tech has advanced... stammering is no longer a big problem and as you are loaded, i would encourage you to go for some speech training as that really helps.
also start by using email or facebook to build your confidence with her then strike when the iron is hot!!!! but i just want to ask that you are not a person with a temper oooo as combining both can be disaster...
all the best though and let us know how it all went if you eventually decide to approach her smile!!!!!
The guy asked do girls like stammerers not do you like stammerers,lol. Linda i sure say pple don call u for number tire.
Ok now to the main point as someone advised and i agree, write her a letter, stating how you feel and why u have not approached her. Make it brief though. Yeah and Man up, so what if u stammer? You dont even know if Amaka has only one boob.
Linda whtz d meaning of dis nw?wen I want 2 post my coment it will do disappering act 4 me
Wo,pls I'm interested jere...sebi dats d only problem? Lol
our linda is there you do not need to look any further , she is such a sweet lady aaabeg try and get to know her .
1st impressions does mata so I tink Ʋ shld do sumtin dat will catch her attention b4 walking up 2 her.&if she ditches Ʋ dnt feel bad plz,sum1 outthere will find ur stermming sexy.in my family 90% of us stermmer&it has becum a wai of lyf.jst recently I hv cum across guyz who find my stermming sexy(who am I?)So my broda brass ursef.if I hv acheived half of wht Ʋ hv achieved I won't b bothered.cheerz
And b4 Ʋ tlk tk a deep breath,tk ur wordz vry slowly alwayz works
And stop condeming ursef,tink positively
Mr,
whatever you do, don't go telling 'amaka' your accomplishments and the fact that you are not a broke guy. There are a lot of gold diggers around and some lady will quickly agree to date you all because you have money. When looking for true love, be sure not to reveal your financial status. That way, you will be able to differentiate the wolves from the sheeps. Goodluck!
Woohoooo..... Can i have his details??? Dear LIB reader, inbox me: elekwai@yahoo.com
My sister is married to a stammerer. He holds normal conversations on the phone and hardly ever stammers, however when he feels it coming, or knws he's abt to be tongue tied, he coughs slightly, and picks up d conversation again. We are so used to it now, that we dnt consciously remember it. You first hv to work on it though, it has to be a conscious effort on ur part.
Howver, like someone said, hope u're not hot tempered like most stammerers. Cos dt'll drive d chic faster than even ur speech problem. My bro-in-law is very hot tempered and vindictive at times. So work on that tOo.
Personally, I was in a situation similar 2 urs. I sat next to a guy in church, after service, he walked up to me and pointed his car, which I happened to be standing by and told me he wanted to give me a ride. Since he was already pointing d car, there was no need to say much. I obliged him, he dropped me off at home and we exchanged contact. I noticed he was a stammerer, but I'm nt averse to it. Infact we were friends for long and I knw for a fact he wanted to marry me.
It didn't work out though, because I later found out he's a chain smoker and drinker. Was always smelling of booze. But he jst got married last dec. It didn't work out with me, but d most important thing is that he's married today. I still C him in church.
Dnt be afraid to walk up to her. Infact dis guy's pick up line was 'you have a beautiful smile, u sang better than the choir'. Which is a lie anyway, but it worked! I gave him d time of day. if u can sit next to her, and try engaging her attention thru out service, smile, shake her during 'shake your neighbour'. Pass her stuff, share a hymn book. Anything at all. That way, you won't be a stranger after service wen u walk up to her.
Whew! I hope dis lonnnng epistle helps. You sound like a nice guy.
nope, and if this girl does, fashy her and come and find me.
Immediately I read this I actually became confused!! Dude ur problem is solved!!! That America wey u dey dey no tell u say dem don develop ?! Lool pardon my speech .. Go and see a doctor In america and receive ur own ear piece !! The ear piece prevents u from stammering !! Omg u have no problem jorrr!! Just go to America and see a doctor and ur fine !! U have d money too and ur there mcheeew nna huRry and see d doctor jor and start speaking fluently
Hi Linda...... Errrr mr nice guy stammerer forgot to add a very impt detail which I think over and above all the supposed funds he has( quite peeved that he would mention that first) ..... What is his anger level! I know for a fact that stammerers are very impatient... And they get angry quickly simply because their defenses are always up! I know cos I dated one.... If he has an ok anger level and is not impatient, I will say go for it...
LoooL ur soo funny!
Practical advice:
1. Have you seen the movie ''The King's Speech''? Watch it and attempt to do something (speech therapy) about your stammering. It is not a curse and can be remedied.
2. Make your feelings known to the girl (Amaka), she may just be the one for you and help to remedy your stammering...Go light on your wealth initially tho..you need a girl who will like u for u and not your money. I wish u all the best!
hi Linda, abeg hook me up jare!!
Give it a trial, You never can tell.
Oh my daze! U like me? Ok! i like you too? i stay around allen avenue! No. 15 omorode close. At home only in the evenings....ehen! i don't mind about ur cash, i mean stuttering!
I stammer as well, enjoy ur life don't be too hard on yourself, as long as u r relaxed u will see dat ur stammering won't be so bad. And anyone dat loves u, will accept u 4 who u r and look beyond the stammering. I pray everything works out with this girl.
I was wonderring how u were able to pass your JOb interview despite ur speecgh impediments. Well I tink wat will agravate ur speech issue with ur new found babe is the anxiety dat normally come with speaking to a lady or female you are tripping for. As a former stammerer/stuttered, I discovered dis to be the case. Then try avoid the use od particular words that make u stammer, Inb my case I had issues mostly with Consonants, Aside from praying and getting help from God , I glided over some difficult letters/alphabet like the Americans will use ;Aint' over 'Am not' etc.... den try speak first under ur breath b4 saying it out so that the muttered words would av undergone the initial stress dat cpome wit speaking. As pa dat Amaka lady or any oda ladies, u dont need too many words to Harness her attention. Why dont you try saying [Hi, can I know you better?]rehearse this well and get oda sentences into phrases and just Americanise d words [skip/glide over the consonants]. I still stutter abit when anxious but belive me I am now a Professional Speaker [and when I feel its stutter time I just pause, smile and ask the audience questions]// RELAX MAN... EVEN THE DEAF & DUMB HAVE WIVES. live well and enjoy ursef
My Sis is married to a stammerer and they are happy together. No one is perfect, there is a *BUT* in everyones life. The only difference is that some are obvious and some are hidden. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You only need to put on the garment of confidence, pray to God and follow your heart. Don't let rejection knock you down in case Amaka rejects you. There is someone out there for you and understand you for you.
First, pray to your almighty father in heaven that every spirit that is not of you should be up lifted.Secondly if you can meet the girl in person, why don't you walk to your pastor and explain everything to him.Let him know your stand OK.God is in control
I think you should go and meet her, there's nothing wrong and she might just be the one to help you get over the whole thing.
besides stammering isn't a disease,it can be controlled
I honestly think you have serious self esteem issues. Women do not like insecure men.
The first thing you need to do is build your confidence by focusing on your achievements in life and looking at stammering as more of a sexy thing rather than as a speech defect. When you do that you'll be surprised as t how many women will come running and how many you will be able to talk to.
If you don't build your confidence your going to end up with a gold digging woman who will selfishly call the shots in the relationship .
Wel, I cnt stand stammerers. Conversin wit them wl b vry borin 2me. I dnt hv d patience 2listen 2them stretch a word *yl in sm cases stamp dia feet on d floor and hit themselves in a bid 2pronounce a word*.. A huge turn off!
See gurls dey beg for hookup they read he is in small dough. abeg Linda no give any gurl here the guy contact by the time they are through with the poor guy he might not even be able to stammer again . my advice is for the guy to write " Hi my name is abc and I like your warm personality can we be friends? my bb pin or email address is abc@yahoo.com add me and we can chat, I do have a lot I want to tell you." he should then smile while slipping it into her hand . I once did it and it worked don't ask me why though.
Faint heart never won Fair lady..send a note den walk up to her.however I truly hope she hasn't read ur write up,cuz if she's aware of ur financial standing,u myt neva b too sure if she dated Ў☺ΰ cuz of d money,or 4 who Ў☺ΰ rily were..bdw y do I v a filin d comment by anonymous at 5.35 myt just b her.
I just feel so bad for him. it must be frustrating and hard. He should just try his luck with amaka....he can never know. however, to be realistic, there are only a very few people that will be quite understanding in regards to his situation. its really going to take patience and real love for that ideal partner to stay by him. i wouldn't say women like or dislike men who stammer, it really depends on the individual. Based on his situation and how women process things these days, he really has a chance. he is educated, quite well to do. i see no reason why someone won't come his way sometime soon. he just also has to be able to relate and communicate with whom ever he is interested in. thats really it!
Firstly, mr. stammerer...as a few people have acknowledged already, you need to develop a self-confidence. I'll also advice you to attend some group class specially for stammerers. I know there are quite a few here in the UK which has really helped a lot of sufferers. Gareth Gates who was a Pop Idol winner in UK many years ago was a stammerer as well before he attended one of these classes and he overcame it. Since you're financially stable to travel to US and other developed countries, i'll advice you to do so, believe in yourself and then you can approach any lady or anyone else for that matter that you wish to talk to. Meanwhile, you can talk to a senior pastor in your church to help you convey your message to sister Amaka. Good luck in your journey.
M,
i think you should get back your confidence by always reminding yourself about all the acheivements you have made so far which obviously you had to interact with pips one way of the other and the issue of stammering didnt get in the way.
just as a suggestion, dont get anyone to do your first step of interraction with Amaka bc dat same person might just be ur undoing in the futur with the same Amaka. so you could approach your pastor or the wife and make known your intention and they will def be nice to help......dont approach Amake on your own since you scared of the past repeating itself.....goodluck on that bro.
bt please always be confident of who you are and keep asking the Holy Spirit for his grace to take charge of your speech. there were a few prophets in the bible who were stammerers n God touched their tongue so i believe if you keep praying abt it and also putting some effort by talking slowly n not letting people's action get to you, you will pull through. try to turn a blind eye to facial re actions and try not to look them in the fae when talking or discussing.
common, remember you a cute handsome dudelet. be bold and courageous. believe that you can conquer this aspect of life also..... will put you in prayers.
Linda pls I luv stamerers, hook me up with him jor
Linda, whats your email address? I'm single and im interested. My younger brother is a stutterer and and a cute one at that! If hes interested too, let me know. I live in the US though :-D
I feel this guys pain cos i was once in his shoes.I was also a stammerer but today i am a rapper that can rap for hours non stop without stuttering.It was so bad i was scared to walk up to gurls both in high school and college but always gave my friends scope to spin gurls back then cos i grew up with lots of gurls..I had a few of the girls that understood why i was always shying away and came close to me.Learn to use your breath and dont force words out when u see its not coming,instead breath in and out.You would definitely find someone that would love you for You someday
HEY!APART FRM BIN A STAMMERER UVE ADDED INFERIORITY COMPLEX TO IT.DATS WHO U ARE N U CAN CHNGE ITN A GIRL DAT WANTS U WILL LOVE U FOR WHO U R EVEN WITHOUT MONEY.U NEED TO BE REAL MAN....AP FAR U R NOT DIRTY OR LOOKING SCRUFFY.I WILL MARRY EVEN A DEAF N DUMB ITS ALL DEPENDS ON HIS PERSONALITY U DNT NEED ALL THESE HEADACHES.
ABEG WHAT ARE HIS CONTACTS VERY INTERESTED IN MEETING THIS AMAZING GENTLEMAN
Ah, this topic is close to my heart. My boyfriend, who i love to death, stutters,but it's not an issue for me. My dad used to stutter and now, it's not an issue at his age coz stuttering fades out with age. Ok, so my bf approached me and asked me out--so i don't think you should be scared. You are bn very hard on your self. I find guys who stutter and have confidence-very attractive . Well, i am very patient and listen to him talk and try not to interrupt him when he's talking--so that really helps our relationship. Honestly, it is not an issue to me and that will be silly and childish of a girl to not date you coz you stutter. Approach her with confidence coz if you write her a note, then you are building tension around your situation--even though it might be cute, but she'll be very suspicious. When you make stuttering an issue, then it becomes one but if you don't dwell on it, it will not be noticed. It's like saying someone has an accent, be confidence and relax coz my boyfriend's stuttering becomes very prominent when he is angry and wants to talk. so take a deep breather and go get your girl bro!!!
THANK YOU JARE, IF YOU CAN PASS YOUR EXAMS AND GET TO WHERE YOU ARE AT THIS POINT YOU MOST BE A GOOD ASS GENTLEMAN AND THAT SHOULD BOOST UP UR CONFIDENCE DEAR
Yeah, I wouldn't have much patience with this guy. In my opinion, why go out and spend money on a SUV ....? This impediment can easily be corrected with therapy. I suggest he seek therapy unless he plans to settle for a gold digga. Not too many single, educated and attractive women can overlook this unless they're desperate. One may question his priorities and that's only because based on the information he's been very fortunate in life. Dude invest in self get some therapy!
Am not advising, but I suggest that he invest some of his money in "treating" or at least reducing the speech disorder.
I think he might be experiencing some form of "Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy".
This type of disorder usually affects muscles and other organs in the body, including the muscles of the tongue and jaw, causing difficulty with speech - hereby resulting in a communication disorder. In other words, this type of disorder is an inability to relax muscles at will. Proper diagnosis is needed.
I learnt that over 60% of those who stammer have a family member who does also, so there are many factors to consider when looking for the right help. Therapy from a speech-language pathologist might be a better approach.
If your story is nothing but the truth - I'll say take care of your health first bro, your stuttering problem sounds too extreme as if you've never attempted any form of therapy till date. Women can come later.
I doubt there is any scientifically proven cure for communication disorder such as stuttering yet, but there are ongoing research being conducted by scientists all over the world. I believe your stammering problem can be drastically reduced if you receive proper therapy and also properly pray for God's intervention (in spirit).
*Take care of your health first, and seek women later.* And YES, women do not like men that stammers, and they would hardly hang out with you in public for fear of being embarrassed.
Aww,just be confident,she might even find that sexy.make ur intentions known bro,girls even marry people dt hv worse things
Na wahh...i envy this dude with the kind of Love and support he is getting from LIB readers, make una no make am forget the Amaka becos i am very sure he is going to hook up with somebody from this blog. On a side note me sef am a very baaad stammerer and shy...anybody?..anybody?
pls my dear there's mre to life than being ashamed, n scared to express urself so pls i wld advice u to express watz on ur mind to dis amaka gal. anyway linda pls up me wit dis guy na lol i dnt mind so long as he can speak starmrn n b prob bikonu! "winks" check me out 4 fcebk tegaaligbo@yahoo.com. no time oh!
Dude, you lived in California and never looked into treatment?! Although there is no absolute cure, there are many therapy approaches that have reduced the problem by anywhere from 5-100% in patients, depending in type of stuttering/stammering, severity, patient's info, etc. Look it up in Wikipedia and plan to see some Docs/speech therapists next time you're out here.
My advice to the guy would be "Go for it!!!!!!" . Talk to her yourself and don't send anyone to do it for you cos he or she might burn your cable without knowing it. I personally don't like it when guys send their friends to talk to me on their behalf, I feel you have the lowest of the lowest self esteem and self confidence. So my dear talk to her. What's the worse she can say ? Highest "I'm sorry I can't". And if she says that dust it off your shoulder and move on. That's how God made you so be proud of his work. Just know that when you find the right person whether you stammer or not wont matter.
By the way my name is Amaka and my pastor calls me out constantly in chrh because of the post I occupy. So who knows I just might be the one. *wink* www.smalls001.blogspot.com
Consult a speech and language therapist asap and while you are at it, watch the kings speech for some inspiration. Heaven help those who help themselves!
M, I completely understand where you're coming from. I can say this because I was a terrible stammerer and I still stammer till date. I recall my English teacher telling me blatantly whilst in High School: "You cannot be a lawyer because you stammer Anu". He was lovely to me but told me this hard 'truth'. Who's a Barrister today? Go figure!
The point is, M, if you let the "tangible" stop the intangible, you'll have a hard time living life with your joy being full. I implore you to approach her. But practice before doing so. I did that ALOT, and still do it till date.
- Choose the easy 'starter' words. As stammerers, we have those words that help us.
- Count your 1-10 before speaking. It SO helps.
- Take a good, deep breath. But use the stammerers technique, I was taught this at therapy in Canada. You breath in, but make sure you are actively opening your lungs.
Go with a friend, it usually calms the nerves!
I wish you all the very best.
Anu.
How can I get his number ? Linda pls help. : )
I will take him if the girl is not interested. I'm ready to settle down and can manage.
I really wanna encourage you this time around.. You said like the chick (Amaka) then go for her irrespective of you been a stammare....or better still draft a lil note stating ur intentions then when next u see her, stare at her and say "Hi", then u can easily stretch your hands containing the drafted note....hmm....I hope it works sha...Goodluck man
Dear do the ol' school thing.... communicate/ flirt with her through letters. If she is worth the hassel you will know through her response. Then gradually tell her you difficulty. A TRUE woman of God will over look you flaw and go after your heart. Good luck and God Bless you as you search for your better half.
Dear do the ol' school thing.... communicate/ flirt with her through letters. If she is worth the hassel you will know through her response. Then gradually tell her you difficulty. A TRUE woman of God will over look you flaw and go after your heart. Good luck and God Bless you as you search for your better half.
Seriously I don't think u shud be sharing the issue of u stuttering on ur 1st encounter with her, girls can make fun of guys esp wen dey are wiv oda girls, is just like u sharing a medical condition on 2 sumone u hardly know, 4 all u know d sis Amaka may av a man outside the church, so y share sumfing so personal 2 u just like dat, I also fink u need 2 work on ur confidence, u prolly fink material tings will get u true love guy it doesn't work dat way, she'll prolly just milk u dry of ur hard earned cash & pretend dat she truly cares abt u, just take ur time & also consider going to see a speech & language therapist dunno if dey av in Naija not sure, it will work out well be rest assured, if u av sisters discuss ur fears with dem & listen to their advice, Amaka may have a boyf somewhere so don't feel let doWn if she says no, dere are millions of Amaka out dere, just be ready 2 find dem, don't get fixated on dis particular chic, dat can be ur downfall, av a blessed week
Honestly I didn't know when I broke down in tears while reading this.please,I would kindly plead with you not to disclose your financial status to 'Amaka' so u could find out if she would love you for who you are,abeg.try to get her number and pin,maybe by slipping a note to her with ur request,start communicating thru phone and when u feel she's comfortable enough with u,pls tell her ur limitation and see how it goes from there okay? incase u don't end up together,pls in the nearest future try to believe in urself cos we girls love men with confidence,a man can be ugly and attractive at the same time cos he believes in himself.and dont ever disclose ur wealth pls until ur sure this person loves u for u.and i will strongly advise that u ignore any form of attention from LIB readers,they've already calculated what to do with your money as the gold mine.best of wishes.
Lwkmd!!!
"i'm married but willing to help him FOC" lol!See ya mouth,doctor...my friend u berrra go n help ur husband and leave the rich,good looking stammerer alone.As for u mr stammerer,less emphasis on ur wealth b4 9ja gals add to ur list of limitations...stammering'll be d least of ur problems when dem handle u
I sort of understand how u feel, cos I'm guilty of leaving a man I liked due to a limitation he had, if you really like Amaka, just walk up to her n talk to her, ask for her pin/number, dat way she knows u stammer, and its up to her to accept/reject. What u need is not exactly an Amaka but sm1 dts understanding of d situation n loves u regardless, asides this particular girl, u shld b more open to b friends wit females, no female wit refuse u "friendship" bcos u stammer, and d base block of every lasting relationship is friendship anyways. Just remember, u ve nothin to lose, u ve done a lot for urslf, and u seem goal driven and smart, so a loss to any1 who wnt accept u ¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯
Bro, the first mistake you have made in your letter is to advertise your finances. If you do that in real life, you will have no shortage of women - maybe even your Amaka - but none will love you for real. I have a hard time understanding how you lived in Yankee for so long and never sought speech therapy for something that obviously bothers you so much! Go back to Cali and fix it!
on point.
I stammered a lot as a kid, but found out it's cos I wanna get so much out at one time.
so, just slip her a note and let her know you wanna talk to her but you've got this condition -- in a really sweet and funny way though, don't be too serious about. better have a great sense of humour (be able to laugh at yourself) it always works.
Hey i'm a lady stammerer but just like someone mentioned above, if u get over it and accept it, people accept it too and even think its part of ur style..(i reduced mine drasticaly)
I learnt a trick back in my secondary sch days, if i want to say someth funny, i just keep a blank face and mouth d words one by one, slowly, no one has any idea what's comin next until its all out.. And they just burst out laughin and u knw what? Pple around me started talkin like that unconsciously while i capitalised on reducing d stammerin.
If i get stuck on an english word i use another synonym for d word, finish, no one knws all this except u..
My boyfriend stammers alittle too,(we r both IT professionals) i didnt notice it at all in d first place, cos 'he didnt think it was a prob'.. So quit thinkin its a prob, infact on a lighter note, i'm free to stammer all i want wen me n him r talkin on d phone,(to spite me sometimes he laughs but i dont pick offence cos i knw he loves me, i just laugh @ myself too' or say' damn this word aint coming out') just make light jokes of d situation cos u knw d other person is dyin to laugh)
i think amaka is lucky that u noticed her out of every lady in church.. Besides u wudnt knw if Amaka has any flaws that she hides from d public.. So keep an open mind, if she has to accept urs, then be prepared to accept hers ok? But to make it easier for u, u can send ur number across or ask someone in church for her number and then u text and introduce urself, (leave out d wealth part)ask if u guys can chat thru either bb or fb etc.. but pls do not say anyth about ur stammering, if u see it as a prob, she will also see it as a prob.. i bet she wont even mind the stammerin cos she already likes u..
Hiya, girls don't hate stammerers, I have a friend who dated a stammerer and eventually married another stammerer! amazing I know:)
Just be confident in yourself, a gal will love you for you regardless of how bad you stammer.
All the best.
Linda I go send boko haram virus to ur blog if you don't post my comment again. I give better advice you come commot am .
that fake amaka na runs gurl, Infact let the poor guy go do as some posters say here. if u were to post a stammerer who works as a mechanic and lives in one room but him handsome na that time you go see say all the ladies go say na curse if they befriend person wey stammer.
he should be bold and confident enuf to face d girl. be confident, appreciate and be proud of urself so that others will appreciate u....good luck
Thank you very much for this reply. That was exactly what came to my mind after reading his mail.
IMO, he shld write a note/letter, give it to an usher to pass acrossto her. In it, he shld let her know his feelings for her, description of himself so she can easily remember him since they exchange eye contact and also include his condition. He could also put his contact info like mobile no/email if she so desire to communicate with him.
The lady shld know his situation via written note before he reveals himself personally to her.
I hope I have helped in some way?
#Blossom
Guy I will advise u to try & make more female friends (not necessarily dating them, not pushing your way into their lives). Just be a nice guy who likes having lunch or dinner with a woman and who likes to buy nice little gifts for a girl. That's all, u will suddenly discover that most of them are jealous over u, then u will be the one to choose who u prefer among them. As for approaching this Amaka I suggest u send her a gift like a petite designer's perf accompanied by ur complimentary card. u may write at the back of the card:"Hi, pls pardon this awkwardness, sometimes stuttering can make someone choose to express himself this way. Lol...". I bet she will atleast develop interest.If u do this to every girl u are admire, you will have a flock of female friends to choose from. I must also advise u to consciously work on ur temparament cause that's what will determine whether a woman can cope. It is one thing to attract her, it is another thing to have a blissful relationship/marriage in the long run.
i want to go spiritual nothing is in possible with GOD ....I HAVE A RELATIVE THAT STAMMERS BADLY SHE IS A DOCTOR NOW ...AND DOING WELL SHE STEPPED OUT IN FAITH AND TAUGHT HER SELF HOW TO TALK SHE IS A LITTLE FASTER THAT MOST PEOPLE BUT SHE IS DOING FINE AND STAMMERS OCCASIONALLY. AS FOR THE GIRL WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THROWING UR WEALTH AROUND ....SO U WILL KNOW IF SHE WILL LIKE YOU FOR REALLY JUST LAY IT BARE AS IT IS ...YOU NEVER KNOW...AGAIN ITS A WALK OF FAITH IF U TRULY LIKE HER BROS LIKE SOMENE SAID SEND PESIN FIRST MAKE THEM TELL HER AS THE THING BE IF SHE LIKES YOU SHE GO GIVE GREEN LITE SHIKANAN
i want to go spiritual nothing is in possible with GOD ....I HAVE A RELATIVE THAT STAMMERS BADLY SHE IS A DOCTOR NOW ...AND DOING WELL SHE STEPPED OUT IN FAITH AND TAUGHT HER SELF HOW TO TALK SHE IS A LITTLE FASTER THAT MOST PEOPLE BUT SHE IS DOING FINE AND STAMMERS OCCASIONALLY. AS FOR THE GIRL WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THROWING UR WEALTH AROUND ....SO U WILL KNOW IF SHE WILL LIKE YOU FOR REALLY JUST LAY IT BARE AS IT IS ...YOU NEVER KNOW...AGAIN ITS A WALK OF FAITH IF U TRULY LIKE HER BROS LIKE SOMENE SAID SEND PESIN FIRST MAKE THEM TELL HER AS THE THING BE IF SHE LIKES YOU SHE GO GIVE GREEN LITE SHIKANAN
I am a very beautiful lady, with a very good job and young and I married a stammerer. I married him because he has a great heart and I do not regret it. Funny enough, since we got married, his stammering has reduced. But the issue is for you to love yourself regardless of your condition. One of the things I found out about stammerers is if the take their time to speak, it does not come out so bad. On the other hand, when you talk to the girl and she disses you, move on forget about her. You will definitely meet someone who will accept you the way you are.
Go up to Amaka ansd tell her, u've earned a few million DOLLARS !
Case settled
You can stammer to oblivion and she will love u pass anything...
true
that trick works all the time , especially for naija girls..and just add ur lekki house and pose near ur SUV for maximum effect...!!
my heart goes out to u like am triping for you anyway my advice is 2
1.you can meet your pastor and talk to him abut getting the chic for you
2.you can start sending love notes to the chic every sunday then after 2 to 4 notes you can open up to her about your stammering issues then u can treat her to dinner
WELL I COULD HELP HIM I WOULD NOT DATE HIM BUT BE HIS FWEND.1ST HE NEEDS TO LIKE HIMSELF AND APPRECIATE HIMSELF BEFORE ANYONE WOULD APPRECIATE HIM THEN HE NEEDS TO PRAY FOR GOD TO SEND HIM THE RIGHT PERSON, AND FORGET HIS MONEY COS THAT WOULD NEVA HELP IT WLD ONLY CAUSE MORE TROUBLE
*Cough * @ Linda, U, u no want am? * cough again* lol
@ reader. if u like U, then ppl(including girls) are going to like u, it all depends on how u see urself, do u know stammering can be sexy and cool? For example, look at lil wayne, the guy aint fine ,no lie, but he exudes this aura by been himself,this makes him cool and sexy ,and lets not forget,he gets the prettiest girls.
The question u should ask urself is,” I’m a handsome,successful guy that stammers? Or I’m a Stammerer ,that is successful and handsome? The answer defines U.. Goodluck !
okay... i don't think there is anything more to say. everyone has said it all. the guy should go for it with Amaka, and try his luck... or alternatively, get to chatting with her first before getting to know her.
Dear Mr LIB-devotee (cos i choose not to call you Mr Stammerer - you are more than that), my personal advice is to stop putting yourself down by saying "sounding like a bitch" or "talking like a mad man" those are very rancid words and my heart sank when i read each of those phrases. please, you are well and beautifully made. we all have our imperfections. anyone who truly sees your value will see beyond that.
and Linda, i would like the guys details o... melikes the way he writes, maybe we could be pen-pals, or even better, chat-pals. how can we get his digits. my email addy is kambi.nachi@yahoo.com
biko get back to me, Linda or Mr LIB devotee :)
...even though u'r engaged ole!
there honestly is nothing wrong with approaching the lady, it honestly depends on how you present yourself, well if you are quite presentable, she would want to listen to what you have to say...and also be a bit confident, (not too confident, it may turn her off) Also , it depends on the kind of person she is, if shes the type that cares too much about what her friends will say or what people would say, then sorry... but if shes not that type then you definetely have a go at her.. JUST BELIVE IN YOURSELF!!
Forget that thing.
Hey M,
forget about the girl liking you first. do you like yourself. If you hate yourself, no girl will ever like you, have you seen the movie the King's speech. stammerring is not a disease and if AMAKA thinks ill of you cos you stammer then let her go.
- you have to replace your self confidence back o and I liked the suggestion someone gave earlier, send someone to talk to her first, so that she understands your situation and the person shld find out if she is avaialble. what if she is schedulkes to get married in a few months?
- i have frineds that stammers and it gets better when they are free with you. they stammer less, so you have to know that once you get ur girl, the stammering wold reduce. you need a patient girl for this man
- forget about ur money. for marriage sakes ,dont letany girl know you are this made if u must confirm that they love you for real.
-Mr M, dont worry about a thing. It is going to be alright. You will get a fantabulous girl and stammer away without a care in the world bcos in ur heart, u will know she lovs you completely. thats my prayer for you.
and to answer your question,
girls do not hate stammerers, they hate other behavioural things, not things you cant control.
Guy, obodo oyiwo get plenty speech therapist wey go cure you one time.
Be brave man ,walk up to and strike a conversation , be yourself. Stammer or no stammer what is urs is urs .A note of warning though , keep ur millions to urself until shes urs cuz if u dont u wud always wonder if she agrred to date u or married u becuz of ur money ...........marriages like that never last.....
it depends, some are fast, but dey repeat some words while some are slow...
Get a free web-design E-Book by clicking http://www.infotechtutorials.com.ng/2012/02/download-my-free-web-design-ebook.html
ENJOY...
http://www.infotechtutorials.com.ng
God doesn't give us more than we can bear, and he always provides a way out. For you, even tho u stammer, you definitely have a way out (maybe your money?) So I assume you should know how to make yourself desirable as in swag (good looking, dress nice, etc)
Then your only thing will be how to creatively step up to amka.
Not all guys can do the "baby girl wasup utunu!" Type of approach to a girl.
Send her a note, invite her to go see a movie (not much talking there), get her PIN, send her flowers. There are so many romantic things u can do with ur money without necessarily throwing ur money at her.
I know they say nice guys finish last, but nice rich guys finish somewhere in the middle!
WOW! who knew Nigerians were so nice?? I am quite impressed with all the advice being given, its good to see that people do keep an open mind.
That being said...
Women love confidence, as one I would know, my first ever best friend (a guy) was a stammerer...and I found it cute, sometimes when he struggled to get a word out and he looked at me with embarrassment all over his face...I smiled at him ...kinda like saying it's okay I understand. Infact, recently I watched a guy on the Canadian dragons den and I noticed that he stammered too and but he got the investment he was looking for. His issue did not deter him from going after what he wanted.
I guess what I am saying is that you just need to be confident. IF she doesn't appreciate you someone else will.
Goodluck.
M.
chairman v u watched king's speech if u hvnt please do if that guy could talk to a whole country i doubt one girl should be much of challenge
Bitch post my comments, r u shy of the truth i told u
LooooooooL u r just ehn... Something else
GO TO HER PERSONALLY AND JUST HAVE IT AT THE BACK OF YOUR MIND THAT SHE MIGHT LIKE STAMMERERS OR SHE HAS A SIBLING WHO IS A STAMMERER.
take a note in your hand with everything you have in mind to say to her[make it at most 7 sentences so shes not scared of reading].ofcourse you should state in the note that ur a stammerer.make sure she reads the note in front of u.WHETHER NIGERIA OR NOT IF SHE LOVES U AND IS UR AS GODS LIVES SHE WILL ACCEPTED U....cheer up....am routing for u
LINDA, WHY CAN'T U GO 4 THIS GUY? U MA, U NO LIKE BETTER THING>. NA THIS KNID GUY U DEY FIND SINCE NOW.
TELL AM MAKE HE 4GET AMAKA OR AMALA, THAT U R INTERESTED OOOO N TOTALLY FREE OOO
Bleeh! Who wants u ?!
LooooooooL u r just ehn... Something else
Linda o! So you get educated people full this your blog? Abi? Give me back my 30minutes! I have spend good 30mins reading all the comments. Nigerians are full of egg heads(whatever that means.)
Just as you write this post to Mrs Linda Ikeji, you can also do it with Ms Amaka. Explained to her that you love stammering and if she is comfortable with that. Oh and you should start the letter with expressing your love for her. Or you wanting to be her closed friend.
Don't worry, letter writing still works. Lol.
etisalat free browsing cheat
Make 15 Minutes MTN to MTN Call for Just N100
Waoh! I love this blog, but it can't replaced my scripture, though i keep it closed to it.
My one and only advice is go for HER!!!
I married a serious stammerer and i can say no we dont hate stammerers. i love the way he calls my name. in fact i liked him as a person so much i hardly noticed he stammered when i met him. so baby boy go get ur girl
if it bothers u that much ,you know u can actually see a speech therapist. but if i girl really likes u shes not gonna care if u stammer or not
first of all i know at two piple who were stammerers and one is now a popular preacher and the other is a newscaster and both have no trace of stammering.I believe that if you are determined enough you can speak normally or at least mitigate the effects stammering in your speech. don't worry if no girl wants to be your friend you can be friends with me through face book. my name is judi frac-edet franc.By the way did you say you say you have a house in lekki????????
Guy, I know guys who dont stammer and still cant talk to women. You will be no different to her except you speak up. If she is showing interest just go for it. And stop talking about your money so much, you might attract the wrong crowd. Seriously, just go for it. Or have someone mutual - those church aunties -, who can attest to your other attributes (not the money part) introduce you. You cant lose for trying.
my dear,the moment i read ur story,all i could do was mutter a short prayer...and this is the prayer...that amaka should be a LIB reader...this story,she will get to read and i hope it's gonna be a starting point.Miss Lee,HAPPY NEW YEAR
Abeg How can one live in Cali and achieved such success without speech therapy!! American are too rude and impatient... how did he manage with interviews, business meetings etc. Even if you didn't think to enrol yourself, your employer would have would have recommended it or even the pizza delivery guy... I call boolshit
hi amaka,
i stutter a whole lot so i thot it better to drop a note.
how r u?u look stunning on dat dress. hope u enjoyed d service? cheers
Hi
This is my 1st comment here and honestly, i think its all left to Amaka to decide. Try talking to her, if she rejects then cool, if she accepts, well and good.
1 more thing... i believe stammering can be cured, not fully but partially. It all takes a bit of a practice.. If Amaka likes you back, she might try to help out and dont go all out open with your salary and car and so on.. just be urself.. hope you read this.
xxx
MIMI
ooh and i forgot to add up.. check out this link, a lace in Dubai that could help
http://www.pulselisteningcenter.com/
I think you should go for it......any girl that judges you because you stammer is not worth your time.......I have a colleague that stammers and I do not think he's *mad* because of that......remember you were fearfully and wonderfully made...best of luck
I think you should go for it......any girl that judges you because you stammer is not worth your time.......I have a colleague that stammers and I do not think he's *mad* because of that......remember you were fearfully and wonderfully made...best of luck
I studied Drama and guess what, one of the best actors turned out to be stammerers.Thanks to out speech coach and our darling HOD they helped stammerers control it. All he needs to do every time he wants to speak is one take a deep breath, two recite what he wants to say in his head(with time he would learn how to do that in record speed) and then speak. The brain controls what we say and how we say it. Just that some of us are always in too much of a hurry to talk and end up saying rubbish most of the time.When Onyinbo man talk say Think before you talk he knew what he was saying. It helps stammers and non-stammers
Hun un! I don't see this matter as difficult as presented by the by the Character. But the truth is that (1) Nobody is perfect and mind you, our imperfections come/surface in different phases.another point is that there is this "thing" that naturally gets you attracted to someone irrespective of your demeanor and that is why no matter how worst a man or lady is, he/she will still have ADMIRERS. Take it or leave it. Amazingly, if this lady is privileged to be asked "if God gives you a supernatural power for just 5 minutes, what would you what changed in me?" DON'T BE SURPRISED, she might not even mention STA not to talk of MMERER. you just have to let lose your from this what I call inferiority Complex. don't even look at that side at all. all you needed doing is to carry yourself one kind, walk with your shoulders raised bear in mind that you are invaluable instead of being valueless. what makes up a man is far more than his appearance or expression.your real self is that which is on the inside. Please don't be deceived, when you move close to these good looking and fluent people,you will know THE RICH ALSO CRY. in fact, you will really thank God for yours. then you will know that BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE WITH BEAUTIFUL PROBLEMS. I stammer as well but notwithstanding, it means nothing to me. only that you will need to be relaxed, don't get annoyed or too excited as any of these will elongate it. have a nice day.
Raphael..........08139290909
Hun un! I don't see this matter as difficult as presented by the by the Character. But the truth is that (1) Nobody is perfect and mind you, our imperfections come/surface in different phases.another point is that there is this "thing" that naturally gets you attracted to someone irrespective of your demeanor and that is why no matter how worst a man or lady is, he/she will still have ADMIRERS. Take it or leave it. Amazingly, if this lady is privileged to be asked "if God gives you a supernatural power for just 5 minutes, what would you what changed in me?" DON'T BE SURPRISED, she might not even mention STA not to talk of MMERER. you just have to let lose your from this what I call inferiority Complex. don't even look at that side at all. all you needed doing is to carry yourself one kind, walk with your shoulders raised bear in mind that you are invaluable instead of being valueless. what makes up a man is far more than his appearance or expression.your real self is that which is on the inside. Please don't be deceived, when you move close to these good looking and fluent people,you will know THE RICH ALSO CRY. in fact, you will really thank God for yours. then you will know that BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE WITH BEAUTIFUL PROBLEMS. I stammer as well but notwithstanding, it means nothing to me. only that you will need to be relaxed, don't get annoyed or too excited as any of these will elongate it. have a nice day.
Raphael..........08139290909
Anon February 6, 2012 1:52 PM, who is engaged?
i will advice him to forget Amaka and go for anorther girl, if your are weak in the knees about her you will probably be nervous about her and i believe that will make you stammer more, find someone who you have a repertoire with, an easy banter with who will put you at ease and then you can take it from there. In all, dont let anything get to you, tell your self you are the best and the baddest, you need your confidence at all times!
Me i don't mind some one who stutters oh! I actually think its cute! Guy feel free to find me if amaka no gree!
If the guy writes to the girl, the way he wrote to Linda minus the bitchy phrases and money part. Am very sure she will understand and agree to date him if she is nice and understanding. If she doesn't understand then she was not meant for him. He should leave her and look for someone else. I wish the guy luck. He should also know that there are many guys that won't mind being in his shoes. lol
i think he should be confident, stammerer or not if she likes you, then she likes you.
I don't think girl's hate stammerers,some just don't have the patience for you to get out what you have to say,and without that patience it can be annoying,I know cos I stammer a bit and sometime ago I didn't even want to hear myself speak let alone put someone else through that,but I got over it,I rehearse what I have to say in my mind,take a deep breath and let it out,that's my advice to you,you can't just keep quiet,you have to let her know,and if she turns you down,it's better than "had i known,should I or should I not",so speak up,and if it doesn't work with her,you keep trying until you find someone who loves you for you..
For me I would say that you are too conscious of the fact that you stammer, truth of the matter is if you dont allow yourself to see this has an issue, you would have long asked Amaka out before you realise you stammer and Amaka would have so gotten into you, that she wouldn't even see the flaws in you. Get over it and live your life, you deserve to.
You are definitely(by what i av read) a nice guy, but please dont always flaunt your wealth, a lady will always like you just the way you are
Bros approach the gal but since you are in Nigeria and nah igbo girl ffor that matter do yourself a favour keep the true status of your wealth under wraps even though those people they smell money from far far off,It ll do yo alot of good,Be sure she likes you for you.Goodluck
Hey man, take that BOLD step and go talk to her even if it doesnt work out, dont stop there. Dont let ur set back stop you from living ur life. I know this cos i was born a stammerer too tho i've been able to train myself to stop it i know wat i was like. find a girl who'll complete u and accept u as who...
wats wit the pity party? Send her a letter explaining ur situation, n it's give or take, it's either she says yes or no n by the way,if Aki could get a wife why won't u?
Hello Guy,,,
its so obvious u have lost all ur self confidence and that is the worst thing that could happen to anyone.....people see u the way u see urself,,the first thing u need to do is to build ur self confidence,,,love urself more ,,accept the fact that God has reasons/purposes why he created u to be a stammerer and never try to keep quiet in places where u are supposed to speak out.....
As for the lady u have feelings for,,i advice u to approach her,,,u may not speak with her personally at first,,,try the social networks especially BBM,,u could try to get her mobile number,,send her lovely text messages and keep her in suspence for a while,,,that could also help raise her anxiety to know the person behind the mask and when u finally meet her,,,what u see as ur defect might be her strongest point of attraction for u......wish u good luck in ur endeavours!!!
TRUE TALK @NSE
i reckon u get to know her 1st...approach her but dont be too rapid in expressing ur feelings.....start by "hi how r u'' n later on engage her into a conversation,be her friend.....that way she sees u in another way n then u can go ahead to express ur feelings...at the end she might not even be the "amaka' u think she is...be wise my dear.also consult a speech therapist n get closer to God...what is for u wouldnt pass u....+would love to be ur friend so send us ur email or any other form of contact.
If she doesnt Like You; I will MARRY U!
okay... may i just say i'm a kinda new LIB convert and i've never placed a comment on anything... however on this issue i'll just say to this have you ever thought that the only reason you do not have much female friends is cuz YOU dont give them the time of day... you give the guys a chance to either accept or reject you why is it different for the girls... which leads me to add that maybe your stutter isnt your only problem, you might be a bit of a chauvinist too... i'm sorry sha but i think you shld give the girl the benefit of the doubt... infact give girls in general the benefit of the doubt... thats the only way to know who'll stick around and who wont... then you can stop having sleepless nights abt it and start liking someone else... maybe even me self.. since you are a millionaire nd all *wink wink*
I HOPE HE IS ACTUALLY READING THESE REPLIES.
"I screwed up a lot of opportunities with girls who seemed to like me in school simply because I did not approach them since I was scared of my stuttering problem."
From this its plain that i never hurts to try, if you dont try you will never know, there's nothing wrong with being a stammerer mayne, just like its not wrong to be too tall, too short, too fyne, too uly. its a unique feature with its own advantages n disadvantages , it may not seem that way but its true.
Pele love :)
am a stammerer but not a chronic one....and i have dated so many girls in d past and presently girls still wants me...as long as u are handsome girl will always want u..
Everyone's got his or her own shortcomings. shouldn't we all learn to love people for who they are and encourage the best in them? Stammerer or not, he's what makes him, him.
Bro, good riddance to anyone who doesn't like you cos you stammer, you'll find your match, trust me and pls keep your money, cos any one who looks your way because of your cash don't care a bit about you.
Linda, you're now a counselor o..lol. well done babe
hi luv.
My son is a stutters too so i tottally get what youre going through.
I wil advise you see a speech therapist. they'll teach you techniques to use that help get the words out. Even Jukia Roberts (yes Julia Roberts) overcame her stuttering through intensive speech therapy. Winston cjurchill was one too.
Second issue is your comfidence. You are no doubt a nice, well educated and sucessful young man. OWN it! it doesnt matter what people say. go out there and do it. walk up to her and say what you like. or pass a note across to her and with a little exchange going on between you 2, it'll lessen the nerves and make it easier to speak with her.
good luck and dont forget, Theres nothing wrong with you. You jisut speak different. just like people speak in different languages.
hmmm, I find stammering and the 'r' factor quite endearing. Weird :p.
i too am a stammerer but i still love my self am not ashamed of myself,think about the BLIND,CRIPPLED,DEAF,PARALYSED,CANCER PATIENTS,are we not better?
Post a Comment