Dear LIB readers: my husband constantly talks to his ex-girlfriend
From a female LIB reader
I need to see what people think about this, so I know if I'm
just going crazy or my fears are valid. We've been married for about a
year. Before marriage he only mentioned her to me in passing, as one of
his ex girlfriends, however, ever since we got married, I've come to
know her in great detail as he talks about her frequently and with great
delight each time. Apparently they dated for almost 2 years and lived
together the whole time. From his stories about her, I learnt that she
helped him a lot during the time of his life when things were rough.
However the only reason he's given me why he didn't marry her is cos
she's not Nigerian and he thought that might cause him problems in future.
He talks to her everyday. He calls her when he leaves for work, also
when he's at work. He calls her occasionally when he's home with me n he
usually tells me when he wants to call her n he places it on speaker.
They exchange text messages thru watsapp all the time. I complained to
him severally about the frequency of the contact cos I'm very
uncomfortable with it. He keeps telling me there's nothing between them and
the contact will die off eventually. At some point he started clearing
their chats. I noticed and confronted him n he lied about it initially, n
later admitted that it was cos d chats were bothering me too much n he
didn't want me unhappy. I've tried to ignore it. But I keep lapsing into
unhappiness. He seems to value their friendship more than whatever I
have to say about it. I'm sorry this is so long. Sometimes I feel like
the only reason he married he instead of her is cos I'm also nigerian.
Please I need advice on what to do about this. Should I just keep trying
to ignore them n hope it goes away? Or should I do something?
Nne, ur guy is in love with another woman and only married u for appearance. Another woman inspires him and makes him happy. U need to take a firm stand on this issue. Choose me or watch me walk again. The cheating bastard
It is unfortunate most men hide their true character to women before marriage. No person will be able to tolerate such. You should still keep talking but refrain from using voilence, hence the message u intend to pass will be interpreted for nagging. It is a cross u will have to carry. I guess u didn't go into fasting and prayer before marrage. It is not too late, might just take a longer time to see manifestation of God.
You're lucky he is not doing this behind you, at least he is a bit honorable to have kept you in the know and knowledge of his ex-girlfriend. Whatever reason he has given you for which he has kept contact with his ex might either be the truth or he just said that not to crush your heart. Let me tell you the truth because truth must be told. That lady has an established place in your husbands heart before you came,he definitely feels good talking to her than to you and i'm sure he wouldn't mind to always have her around. If you try to be aggressive and hostile about it it would not give you your desires, since telling him about how uncomfortable this makes you feel and yet nothing has changed; you need to follow another route,there's something about that lady that you don't have and this thing whatever it is,is what is gluing your husband to her and if this continue, you might eventually loose him to her. As a matter of urgency,you need to stop talking to him about how uncomfortable you're and stop expressing nor behaving it. This will determine how effective the other steps will turnout. Next step,find out whether your husband told her about you, and if he did, who did he tell her you are. but you need to pray that he mentioned you to her as his wife, if that is the case, tell him to invite her over for lunch or dinner on a weekend. If he oblige without a protest then it means you're safe, but if he doesn't that means something is fishy. Meeting her will be determined by whether or not she is in Nigeria but if not, there're still things you can do to quell this issue once and for all. You deserve a happy home, What your husband need is a psychological approach that is passive and highly abstract in nature but very effective. Please Linda, if you don't mind, the time to put this woman through on this platform is not there for me, and i will really want to help put a smile on her face. kindly tell her to add me on facebook so that we can both see how to help her out, Simon Praise Odey is my profile name. I have not written neither do i have any book to sale to her, all i'm doing is to help people's relationships and marriages using my God-given instinct which has worked a great deal since i started.
Lol sister what do you want? Do something like what divorce or call and harass her? Women are very funny... Amazingly I'm one. I don't understand why you are worried when he's not hiding it from you. If in hide am wahala in no hide wahala too... Ha! Babe relax and satisfy to ur best
Be careful so your anxiety does not make the whole situation worse, since he says there is nothing just remove it from your mind and don't let it bother you. But if the tone of the messages are sexual then you need to pray her from your husband's life fast.
WOW THATS WEIRD MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY MAKING A MALE FRIEND AND SEE WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT IT,HE SURE HAS SUMTIN GOING ON WITH THE SAID LADY NO SANE MAN WILL KEEP A FEMALE COMPANION THE ONLY COMPANION SHOULD BE THE WIFE DATS MY TOUTS ANYWAY,FIRST TIME BLOGGER WIL BE DELIGHTED IF LINDA PASTE MY POST,THNKS.
Do something please !!!ur hubby shld luv nd respect ur feelns on everythng expecially whn it has 2 do with an Ex.. something alwys goes wrng nd he will find another reason 2 cheat, pls mk him see reasons y he shld stop the conversation now b4 it's to late my dear. Tell him Family comes first if he luvs u, then ur feelns shld matter first buh pls be polite when tlkn 2 him so he doesn't use tht as an excuse. Gudluck
Jes negodi...Nne y do u want to answer peche d name ur parents didn't giv u? Omo flip d damn coin biko or u don't u hv an ex too?...get busy already n ignore him. 1st 2do no de pain.
All i can say is that he is married to her emotionally and to you physically. If you are not comfortable with being a 2nd wife then you are in your rights to see something wrong with it. Ask him to divorce her,if not you two seek professional help.
My dear ignore him,if u notice him talking to her act lik u ain't bothered. Even ask to say hi.to her,make frnds with her,get her number too n add her on whatsapp...ur hubby wil.b scared dat two of u r becoming frndly..n he wil stay away..if u fight them,it wil b fun,so since u can't beat dem,join dem..irs hard buy nothing in life is easy...
Hmmmm....sure sounds like he's still in love with her and misses her greatly. Since voicing your concerns hasn't eased the matter, I reckon a taste of his own medicine should be served up. Honey do you have any ex'es you can resume connection with? I'm not saying you should cheat on him but you need to make him jealous and the distraction will be good for you too....kinda like a breathe of fresh air.
This is why I always say ex should be ex......click my name to read more.
sweetheart, do not walk out of your marriage. am not an expert in marriage and i know that no one is except God. i would give you an advice that i would expect frnds and family to give me....GIVE YOUR MAN PATIENCE AND ATTENTION. SHOW HIM LOVE, ONCE IN A WHILE REMIND HIM IT HURTS YOU FOR HIM TO CALL HIS EX, DO NOT FOR ANY REASON BE TOO NAGGY COS NO MAN LOVES A NAGGING WIFE. MOST IMPORTANTLY, AS A WOMAN PLAY YOUR GOD GIVEN ROLES AND PUT HIM IN PRAYERS GOD ALONE WILL TURN HIS HEART TOWARDS YOU.... AND WHEN U HAVE THE CHANCE FUCK HIS BRAINS OFF IN EVERY POSITION KNOWN AND KNOWN
My dear I know it is not easy to ignore such attention going on between your beloved husband and his ex. One,tell him to stop giving you feedback on the relationship in whatever form. Secondly, if you know what he likes most or what the lady has done before that made him to still appreciate her till now then try and set up a bit. Or you can make the lady your friend by chatting with her on whatsapp etc and from there you will take over the relationship from your husband. All the same pray about it. God knows how to sort it all out. Cheers.#landlady
D best way to keep marriage is to respect ur partner for who, and wht he or she is mostly associations b kept mostly d good one's.
I wil advice dat u should b secured in ur marriage if u want it to last mostly avoid b unnecessary jealous, and trying to dictate to ur hubby abt who or wht to keep to chat wit or talk to.
U can only advice him, and d rest leave for God to change him inside out bcos u r not his God. So quit trying to b God in his life.
Though I wil advice men to quit distractions dat wil degenerate their families or else they wil pay for it wit losing d necessary family unity dat is suppose to co-exist in d family.
Hubby b wise, and manage ur home affairs well, and learn to listen to ur wife whenever she advice u while women don't try to play b God to ur hubby.
Read through all the comments to this point but no one looked at the real problem. let me ask, how often do you call your hubby (phone calls)....how often do you chat with your hubby.....no point worrying about his past....you are his present and his future.....you just have to be that! and his past will become memories and records.
My sister I can feel your pain, cos the similar thing is happening to me right now,my fiance won't leave his ex alone,his 1st priority in the morning is to call that gal,though the ex has travelled to America last bt stil they won't let me be with dia frequent calling. All I hear 4rm him is that *its an old time relationship that very soon it wil fade away,afterall she is not coming back to Nigeria any time 4rm now*but I can't Jst overlook it cos I'm a human nd I have feelings,i v warned him severally,bt can't get angry with him pass 2days cos I love him so much.let me just be playing a fool till I get what I want.
Sweetheart, 1st,if you know you're legally married to him. 2nd,if the ex is aware he is legally married;then i'll advise you don't press further. Let him be. Act like you don't care*though it's not easy*then you see him not comfortable with your silence about it and probably have a change of heart...PRAY WITHOUT SEASON ...NA ZO
Stand your grounds, you don't want them as friends and that's it. It's a sign of disrespect and before you know it, an affair will start. Insist, if he really loves you he will cut her off. He is urs already don't be scared to lose him. If you can lose him to her then you never had him, whether you stand your ground now or not he will still leave you for her. So Jst face it now that the union is young.
Bonita whatever you have a high level of low self esteem. Poster, sweetie nothing is wrong with you, just ignore him and pretend to have someone you talk with and chat with all the time. Stop complaining about her, even ask to speak with her sometimes. It's either he still in love with her or finding hard to move on..... Men don't like too much attention sometimes, it irritates them. When he sees someone else is getting your attention, he'd come back to his senses. Be yourself and never let neverdowells like Bonita tell you otherwise.
Why do I love your comment so? No hbp for nothing, if she calls, pick up the phone. But from the reading, it seems it's your hubby that keeps calling her and she is nice to have engaged him in a conversation too. So strange, what are you doing texting and calling someone else's husband that's purportedly you Ex o. If it was me, I wil ask my husband if we three can all go to dinner, na there I will hint her how I feel about this chit chat with my husband. I will ask her if she has a boyfriend? When she plans to get married perhaps, Ito keep her busy. I'll ask her if I can hook her up with one of my friends, I'll even show her pictures of my male friends but very not-good looking male single friends. By the time that dinner is over, na she go chase my husband komot from his life. Me I don't believe in doing the same thing to teach him a lesson because if it backfires, na letter D straight be that. Unless you wan divorce ya husband.
Which kain answer be dis? You mean sey he no see say something wrong with her before he marry the babe? Na after marriage then he begin dey see issue ba? Ok o. Man act stupid, na woman's fault. Soon you go look like chop stick just to keep man.
I almost got entangled in a situation like this where one of my suitors was no longer dating a particular non Nigerian woman who he didn't marry because she isn't Nigerian. He told me they were no longer in communication, didn't believe him but I didn't stress myself. I just kept praying about the marriage proposal. The Spirit of God kept telling me NO. Even the thought of saying yes to him would stimulate physical symptoms of chest pain. So I said NO to the proposal . A week later, I heard from a family member who happen to be co-workers with the non Nigerian lady. The non Nigerian lady was randomly talking about some nigerian guy who she is still in love with but can't marry becos she isn't Nigerian and when she called the guys first, middle and last name, my family member was shocked . The poor lady didn't even know that the person she was talking to knew the guy and the 'Nigerian' girl he wants to marry. God saved me from this man. Ladies beware, if a guy tells you he prefers a certain kind of girl from a particular race, tribe please don't enter the relationship with the hope that his taste had changed. It hasn't, he just using you to appease society and his family. But still dates the person he truly wants.
I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO IGNORE HIM , AND PRETEND NOT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, DO NOT BOTHER YOUR HEAD OR GO CRAZY WITH HIM , IF YOU CAN DO IT YOU WILL BE A WINNER.
BUT THE ONLY ONE THING TO KNOW IF SOMETHING IS GOING ON IS TO HIRE SOMEONE AS A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR TO FOLLOW HIM TO KNOW HOW TOO CLOSE THEY ARE.
What kinda stupid reply is this? She asked if she should ignore or do something about it and your reply to her is: 'you should ignore them or you should do something'. Were you of any good to her? Nope! More of a waste of space and time! It's not every post u respond to! Receive sense!
Woman!Focus more on improving on any aspect of your behavior that he De-tastes. Talk to him and sincerely ask him to point out things you do that pushes him away. There is no magic to this... when you communicate fervently with him, show him affection and love unconditionally, flirt with him frequently (Men LOVE women who do), send him classy but sexy pics of you often, call him sweet names: Take it from a very experienced 'cougar', he will never remember his ex anymore. I don't care what d ex must have done for him, she will be history in a heartbeat.
Most times, the solutions to our problems is right before us, but we choose to cry and rant. All these you can do effortlessly and win ur man back.
There's no way a man can please a woman, if man speak to a lady friend in their presence, it is regarded as insult and if a man do it behind them, the man is a cheat. I think your man is very open to you but it is you that is reading meaning to every of his actions with the lady. Let me tell you no one can make you sad except you make yourself sad. Marriage is about trust, if you feel you no longer trust your husband in his dealing with the lady, I suggest you take a walk before you fall off the cliff.
Fighttttttt itttt. with everything you have got. be stern about it. you cant be soft on matters like this. he might not have a bad intention at the beginning... but the more the communication the more trouble he begats. If possible let the lady know u are not comfy with the whole talks... politely though... but with your husband, be stern! DELETE HER NO... REPORT HIM TO HIS SPIRITUAL FATHER if any and PRAY FERVENTLY.
My dear, it's painful but truly there's nothing you can do about it. It is very difficult to physically discontinue a strong friendship between two people. The only reason he married you is because you're Nigerian. His heart is with the other lady. It's not easy to swallow but that's the truth. When people tell you who they are, believe them. He told you about her in the past. He was not kidding.
You have open the door for the enemy in your relationship.It is just a question of time.People should learn to move on,the are a lot of ways to be inspired.Your ex will destroy you sooner than you realised.He will always support you against your husband.With time you will wish ,he is so understanding than your husband and wish you had married him.If you are not careful he will eventually used you.You wait and see.
If the tables were turned and it was a man complaining that his wife was still carrying on a relationship with her ex-boyfriend would the majority of advisers talk about prayer and being a good husband?
Lol@ till you get what you want. After then, you will start dealing with him. Sweetheart Prayer and faithfulness is the key, cos we're mere humans and can't do much on our own without His Grace.
At the expense of your wife's happiness?Yes, you know her first but you took your vows with your wife not your ex best friend, remember? If she was such a best friend what happened that you didn't wife her, you wanted to eat your cake and have it? Pls, leave the ex alone and let her face her life and her work so she can move on too (with you constantly in her life she won't ) and with you constantly choking your wife to accept your ex , you might loose focus and start destroying your own marriage without you knowing.There is a reason it didn't work out in the first place, no matter how long the relationship was with your ex and it didn't work, it shows God doesn't want you two to be together. Now go back to your wife and make things work, your ex will be okay anywhere she is though she is without any man now,God is preparing her own and don't use the fact that she is still single to want to be fiends with her as you told your wife (it isn't going down well with her, she's in a young marriage that's why she's accepting everything you tell her about your ex, let her mind be at rest and make her happy, at least she agreed to marry you while your ex didn't ), be more sensitive to your wife else you loose your wife as you lost your ex, be wise.
277 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 277 of 277This is one of the reasons why I don't date some one with excess baggage. Your husband clearly still has the hots for his EX
Nne, ur guy is in love with another woman and only married u for appearance. Another woman inspires him and makes him happy. U need to take a firm stand on this issue. Choose me or watch me walk again. The cheating bastard
Ok.
What new car is the sentry? Check www.naijacarlovers.blogspot.com
It is unfortunate most men hide their true character to women before marriage. No person will be able to tolerate such. You should still keep talking but refrain from using voilence, hence the message u intend to pass will be interpreted for nagging. It is a cross u will have to carry. I guess u didn't go into fasting and prayer before marrage. It is not too late, might just take a longer time to see manifestation of God.
Jus ignore it joor, seems ur husby n her r jus friends dats all......
let him understands how bad u feel abt it, and ask him if u should do that to him will he like it? some men can be funny.
Dear Friend my advice to you is kneel to God in prayer. Don't do anything that will break ur marriage..... It is well
You're lucky he is not doing this behind you, at least he is a bit honorable to have kept you in the know and knowledge of his ex-girlfriend. Whatever reason he has given you for which he has kept contact with his ex might either be the truth or he just said that not to crush your heart. Let me tell you the truth because truth must be told. That lady has an established place in your husbands heart before you came,he definitely feels good talking to her than to you and i'm sure he wouldn't mind to always have her around. If you try to be aggressive and hostile about it it would not give you your desires, since telling him about how uncomfortable this makes you feel and yet nothing has changed; you need to follow another route,there's something about that lady that you don't have and this thing whatever it is,is what is gluing your husband to her and if this continue, you might eventually loose him to her. As a matter of urgency,you need to stop talking to him about how uncomfortable you're and stop expressing nor behaving it. This will determine how effective the other steps will turnout. Next step,find out whether your husband told her about you, and if he did, who did he tell her you are. but you need to pray that he mentioned you to her as his wife, if that is the case, tell him to invite her over for lunch or dinner on a weekend. If he oblige without a protest then it means you're safe, but if he doesn't that means something is fishy. Meeting her will be determined by whether or not she is in Nigeria but if not, there're still things you can do to quell this issue once and for all. You deserve a happy home, What your husband need is a psychological approach that is passive and highly abstract in nature but very effective. Please Linda, if you don't mind, the time to put this woman through on this platform is not there for me, and i will really want to help put a smile on her face. kindly tell her to add me on facebook so that we can both see how to help her out, Simon Praise Odey is my profile name. I have not written neither do i have any book to sale to her, all i'm doing is to help people's relationships and marriages using my God-given instinct which has worked a great deal since i started.
Sick the face of God. Seriously he'll forget her gradually gradually it shall be well with u.
Open proverbs 9 vs 17-18 and show it to your hubby.
Lol sister what do you want? Do something like what divorce or call and harass her? Women are very funny... Amazingly I'm one. I don't understand why you are worried when he's not hiding it from you. If in hide am wahala in no hide wahala too... Ha! Babe relax and satisfy to ur best
Then talk to your ex boyfriend too
I no know why women dey slack.....
@Galore
Be careful so your anxiety does not make the whole situation worse, since he says there is nothing just remove it from your mind and don't let it bother you. But if the tone of the messages are sexual then you need to pray her from your husband's life fast.
Do something positive about it, dialogue, pray, fast and consult a therapist
WOW THATS WEIRD MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY MAKING A MALE FRIEND AND SEE WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT IT,HE SURE HAS SUMTIN GOING ON WITH THE SAID LADY NO SANE MAN WILL KEEP A FEMALE COMPANION THE ONLY COMPANION SHOULD BE THE WIFE DATS MY TOUTS ANYWAY,FIRST TIME BLOGGER WIL BE DELIGHTED IF LINDA PASTE MY POST,THNKS.
MISS PEARL SAYS SO
Do something please !!!ur hubby shld luv nd respect ur feelns on everythng expecially whn it has 2 do with an Ex.. something alwys goes wrng nd he will find another reason 2 cheat, pls mk him see reasons y he shld stop the conversation now b4 it's to late my dear. Tell him Family comes first if he luvs u, then ur feelns shld matter first buh pls be polite when tlkn 2 him so he doesn't use tht as an excuse. Gudluck
Jes negodi...Nne y do u want to answer peche d name ur parents didn't giv u? Omo flip d damn coin biko or u don't u hv an ex too?...get busy already n ignore him. 1st 2do no de pain.
U ought to v known better before marriage. If they are truly in love then just know that u are the other woman in ur marriage. Sorry ok. Keep trying.
keep confronting him and let him know you are not comfortable with it.
U better watch out, its real dangerous to keep dat kinda flame alive. It can only lead to heartbreak for either u or the man.
All i can say is that he is married to her emotionally and to you physically. If you are not comfortable with being a 2nd wife then you are in your rights to see something wrong with it. Ask him to divorce her,if not you two seek professional help.
Why r u not posting the damn comments
My dear ignore him,if u notice him talking to her act lik u ain't bothered. Even ask to say hi.to her,make frnds with her,get her number too n add her on whatsapp...ur hubby wil.b scared dat two of u r becoming frndly..n he wil stay away..if u fight them,it wil b fun,so since u can't beat dem,join dem..irs hard buy nothing in life is easy...
Lol @ that is if you are. Well said.
Hmmmm....sure sounds like he's still in love with her and misses her greatly. Since voicing your concerns hasn't eased the matter, I reckon a taste of his own medicine should be served up. Honey do you have any ex'es you can resume connection with? I'm not saying you should cheat on him but you need to make him jealous and the distraction will be good for you too....kinda like a breathe of fresh air.
This is why I always say ex should be ex......click my name to read more.
sweetheart, do not walk out of your marriage. am not an expert in marriage and i know that no one is except God. i would give you an advice that i would expect frnds and family to give me....GIVE YOUR MAN PATIENCE AND ATTENTION. SHOW HIM LOVE, ONCE IN A WHILE REMIND HIM IT HURTS YOU FOR HIM TO CALL HIS EX, DO NOT FOR ANY REASON BE TOO NAGGY COS NO MAN LOVES A NAGGING WIFE.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, AS A WOMAN PLAY YOUR GOD GIVEN ROLES AND PUT HIM IN PRAYERS GOD ALONE WILL TURN HIS HEART TOWARDS YOU.... AND WHEN U HAVE THE CHANCE FUCK HIS BRAINS OFF IN EVERY POSITION KNOWN AND KNOWN
Supported. @anon 1.13pm
God bless u
Do somtin lyk wot?
My dear I know it is not easy to ignore such attention going on between your beloved husband and his ex. One,tell him to stop giving you feedback on the relationship in whatever form. Secondly, if you know what he likes most or what the lady has done before that made him to still appreciate her till now then try and set up a bit. Or you can make the lady your friend by chatting with her on whatsapp etc and from there you will take over the relationship from your husband. All the same pray about it. God knows how to sort it all out. Cheers.#landlady
you just have to be patient with him cos he just can't forget such a person who have contributed so much in his life
You are the mumu a conc idiot....Do u know what dey call givin an advise...you must be very frustrated to take it out on a woman seeking for advise
D best way to keep marriage is to respect ur partner for who, and wht he or she is mostly associations b kept mostly d good one's.
I wil advice dat u should b secured in ur marriage if u want it to last mostly avoid b unnecessary jealous, and trying to dictate to ur hubby abt who or wht to keep to chat wit or talk to.
U can only advice him, and d rest leave for God to change him inside out bcos u r not his God. So quit trying to b God in his life.
Though I wil advice men to quit distractions dat wil degenerate their families or else they wil pay for it wit losing d necessary family unity dat is suppose to co-exist in d family.
Hubby b wise, and manage ur home affairs well, and learn to listen to ur wife whenever she advice u while women don't try to play b God to ur hubby.
A word is enough 4d wise!
Best advice. Please, are an expert in guidance and counseling?
Read through all the comments to this point but no one looked at the real problem. let me ask, how often do you call your hubby (phone calls)....how often do you chat with your hubby.....no point worrying about his past....you are his present and his future.....you just have to be that! and his past will become memories and records.
My sister I can feel your pain, cos the similar thing is happening to me right now,my fiance won't leave his ex alone,his 1st priority in the morning is to call that gal,though the ex has travelled to America last bt stil they won't let me be with dia frequent calling. All I hear 4rm him is that *its an old time relationship that very soon it wil fade away,afterall she is not coming back to Nigeria any time 4rm now*but I can't Jst overlook it cos I'm a human nd I have feelings,i v warned him severally,bt can't get angry with him pass 2days cos I love him so much.let me just be playing a fool till I get what I want.
Pray! Pray!! Pray!!! That's all coz no one cares. #24C2086A
You no get ex? Even if you no get, try and form say you gt and start talking too. Simple mathematics, you dey there dey give yourself headache
Sweetheart, 1st,if you know you're legally married to him. 2nd,if the ex is aware he is legally married;then i'll advise you don't press further. Let him be. Act like you don't care*though it's not easy*then you see him not comfortable with your silence about it and probably have a change of heart...PRAY WITHOUT SEASON
...NA ZO
Ur typing sef na wa. Must u type long msg. Mscheeeew
Stand your grounds, you don't want them as friends and that's it. It's a sign of disrespect and before you know it, an affair will start. Insist, if he really loves you he will cut her off. He is urs already don't be scared to lose him. If you can lose him to her then you never had him, whether you stand your ground now or not he will still leave you for her. So Jst face it now that the union is young.
Bonita whatever you have a high level of low self esteem. Poster, sweetie nothing is wrong with you, just ignore him and pretend to have someone you talk with and chat with all the time. Stop complaining about her, even ask to speak with her sometimes. It's either he still in love with her or finding hard to move on..... Men don't like too much attention sometimes, it irritates them. When he sees someone else is getting your attention, he'd come back to his senses. Be yourself and never let neverdowells like Bonita tell you otherwise.
Why do I love your comment so? No hbp for nothing, if she calls, pick up the phone. But from the reading, it seems it's your hubby that keeps calling her and she is nice to have engaged him in a conversation too. So strange, what are you doing texting and calling someone else's husband that's purportedly you Ex o. If it was me, I wil ask my husband if we three can all go to dinner, na there I will hint her how I feel about this chit chat with my husband. I will ask her if she has a boyfriend? When she plans to get married perhaps, Ito keep her busy. I'll ask her if I can hook her up with one of my friends, I'll even show her pictures of my male friends but very not-good looking male single friends. By the time that dinner is over, na she go chase my husband komot from his life. Me I don't believe in doing the same thing to teach him a lesson because if it backfires, na letter D straight be that. Unless you wan divorce ya husband.
Which kain answer be dis? You mean sey he no see say something wrong with her before he marry the babe? Na after marriage then he begin dey see issue ba? Ok o. Man act stupid, na woman's fault. Soon you go look like chop stick just to keep man.
Thank you.
U knw about his ex but am sure d woman doesn't knw he is married. If d woman is in Nigeria, don't ignore dem. Prayer is d Major solution.
Lolz
I almost got entangled in a situation like this where one of my suitors was no longer dating a particular non Nigerian woman who he didn't marry because she isn't Nigerian. He told me they were no longer in communication, didn't believe him but I didn't stress myself. I just kept praying about the marriage proposal. The Spirit of God kept telling me NO. Even the thought of saying yes to him would stimulate physical symptoms of chest pain. So I said NO to the proposal .
A week later, I heard from a family member who happen to be co-workers with the non Nigerian lady. The non Nigerian lady was randomly talking about some nigerian guy who she is still in love with but can't marry becos she isn't Nigerian and when she called the guys first, middle and last name, my family member was shocked . The poor lady didn't even know that the person she was talking to knew the guy and the 'Nigerian' girl he wants to marry.
God saved me from this man.
Ladies beware, if a guy tells you he prefers a certain kind of girl from a particular race, tribe please don't enter the relationship with the hope that his taste had changed. It hasn't, he just using you to appease society and his family. But still dates the person he truly wants.
Don't advice like this Ani
Two wrongs only make things worse
Talk to him, possibly talk to her also then ask God for patience
Take it to God in prayer
Which kind of fowl Pls? Duck fowl/ pepeye?
Best comment by far!
Can u listen to ursef???.... poster pls dont listen to dis animal. It is NOT ur fault in any way
Also start chatting with your ex boyfriend
I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO IGNORE HIM , AND PRETEND NOT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, DO NOT BOTHER YOUR HEAD OR GO CRAZY WITH HIM , IF YOU CAN DO IT YOU WILL BE A WINNER.
BUT THE ONLY ONE THING TO KNOW IF SOMETHING IS GOING ON IS TO HIRE SOMEONE AS A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR TO FOLLOW HIM TO KNOW HOW TOO CLOSE THEY ARE.
Gbabe
What kinda stupid reply is this? She asked if she should ignore or do something about it and your reply to her is: 'you should ignore them or you should do something'. Were you of any good to her? Nope! More of a waste of space and time! It's not every post u respond to! Receive sense!
Woman!Focus more on improving on any aspect of your behavior that he De-tastes. Talk to him and sincerely ask him to point out things you do that pushes him away. There is no magic to this... when you communicate fervently with him, show him affection and love unconditionally, flirt with him frequently (Men LOVE women who do), send him classy but sexy pics of you often, call him sweet names: Take it from a very experienced 'cougar', he will never remember his ex anymore. I don't care what d ex must have done for him, she will be history in a heartbeat.
Most times, the solutions to our problems is right before us, but we choose to cry and rant. All these you can do effortlessly and win ur man back.
Oyaaa!!! go to work...
na waa
ewooo nne
I also watched a Nollywood movie,"Burning Bridge(s)" starring Ivie Okudaye, just exactly as this narrative.
I just have to cut off all links with my ex, though I'm trying all my best. I'm putting myself in his wife's shoes as this narrative....God help me.
IF SHE IS THE ONE THAT CAUGHT THE HUSBAND THEN WAS THERE WITH THEM THAT TOOK THIS PIX
There's no way a man can please a woman, if man speak to a lady friend in their presence, it is regarded as insult and if a man do it behind them, the man is a cheat. I think your man is very open to you but it is you that is reading meaning to every of his actions with the lady. Let me tell you no one can make you sad except you make yourself sad. Marriage is about trust, if you feel you no longer trust your husband in his dealing with the lady, I suggest you take a walk before you fall off the cliff.
Fighttttttt itttt. with everything you have got. be stern about it. you cant be soft on matters like this. he might not have a bad intention at the beginning... but the more the communication the more trouble he begats. If possible let the lady know u are not comfy with the whole talks... politely though... but with your husband, be stern! DELETE HER NO... REPORT HIM TO HIS SPIRITUAL FATHER if any and PRAY FERVENTLY.
My dear, it's painful but truly there's nothing you can do about it. It is very difficult to physically discontinue a strong friendship between two people. The only reason he married you is because you're Nigerian. His heart is with the other lady. It's not easy to swallow but that's the truth. When people tell you who they are, believe them. He told you about her in the past. He was not kidding.
Anyways, wish all goes well.
Gbam
Dont bother ur life Joor, she is not an ex wake up girl.
You have open the door for the enemy in your relationship.It is just a question of time.People should learn to move on,the are a lot of ways to be inspired.Your ex will destroy you sooner than you realised.He will always support you against your husband.With time you will wish ,he is so understanding than your husband and wish you had married him.If you are not careful he will eventually used you.You wait and see.
If the tables were turned and it was a man complaining that his wife was still carrying on a relationship with her ex-boyfriend would the majority of advisers talk about prayer and being a good husband?
SMH
I concur with you on this.
Good advice.
Yessooh
She should leave her marriage, so that you can easily move in. Nawaa lol Advice don pass levels.
Exactly, prayer is the key.
Lol@ till you get what you want. After then, you will start dealing with him. Sweetheart Prayer and faithfulness is the key, cos we're mere humans and can't do much on our own without His Grace.
Just ignore them, do ur best as his wife, & leave the rest to God in prayer.
At the expense of your wife's happiness?Yes, you know her first but you took your vows with your wife not your ex best friend, remember?
If she was such a best friend what happened that you didn't wife her, you wanted to eat your cake and have it?
Pls, leave the ex alone and let her face her life and her work so she can move on too (with you constantly in her life she won't ) and with you constantly choking your wife to accept your ex , you might loose focus and start destroying your own marriage without you knowing.There is a reason it didn't work out in the first place, no matter how long the relationship was with your ex and it didn't work, it shows God doesn't want you two to be together.
Now go back to your wife and make things work, your ex will be okay anywhere she is though she is without any man now,God is preparing her own and don't use the fact that she is still single to want to be fiends with her as you told your wife (it isn't going down well with her, she's in a young marriage that's why she's accepting everything you tell her about your ex, let her mind be at rest and make her happy, at least she agreed to marry you while your ex didn't ), be more sensitive to your wife else you loose your wife as you lost your ex, be wise.
Linda pls post my comment.
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