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Tuesday 20 January 2015

Dear LIB readers: My husband thinks I lied about being a virgin because I didn't bleed the first time

From a female LIB reader
I'm a young girl of 28 years. I'm married to a lovely husband that loves me so much but my problem is this. I married my hubby as a virgin but the first time we made love, he was expecting to see blood which he didn't and since then he has been accusing me of telling him lies about being a virgin.
I asked few of my friends and they told me that yes that blood is suppose to be a proof to that. I became more confused as I know deep down in me that am saying the truth. I confided in my mother and she told me the story of my life.
My mum said that when I was 4years old that our tenant called me into his room to come and take toys. The next thing she saw when I came out from the man's room was blood coming out from my vagina.
Immediately she called my father and they went to meet the man and lo and behold he had ran away. My problem now is should I explain to my hubby all this? Will he still love me? My fellow LIB please I need ur advise on this.

505 comments:

1 – 200 of 505   Newer›   Newest»
Unknown said...

You should tell him the truth

Unknown said...

Interesting...

Unknown said...

Ur case sounds somehow. Ur husband won't even buy that story, but still yet let him know.

blaq said...

This is serious ...pray and Explain to him if he loves u as u claim he will understand buh note...its a large chunk to swallow..

Unknown said...

Explain to your husband o! If possible, get your mum involved o

Anonymous said...

thats a bloody lie, at age four u wld remba such trauma, please say somthin else.

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

Bia,madam Virginia wer u carry d blood go?lol

Anonymous said...

My dear,if it means your mum coming to tell him, save your marriage,gain his trust again.

Unknown said...

Hmmmmm.

Unknown said...

Ur case sounds somehow. Ur husband won't even buy that story, but still yet let him know.

nekkyville said...

Hmmmm dear poster,inform ur hubby n let ur mother be dere to xplain tins to him.am sure he wud undastnd..its nt a dificult mata.cox if u dnt,ur hubby wud neva trust u again

Unknown said...

That's why I don't like Virgin's to avoid Issue's like this...
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.Disclaimer:: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..

Unknown said...

Serious gobe but if he truly love you as you claim den he should understand when you tell him. But be sure he is madly in luv with you b4 telling him. Linda take note!

Rexphobia said...

Why do I find this hard to believe

Unknown said...

After fcuking all the guys in ur area, u are here claiming virgin, my friend tell him hit truth, bitchy wife......and nobody should tell me shit about some ladies have no hymen and the likes......

FTUSH said...

of course you should tell your hubby, he is suppose to be your confidant and to avoid any strain in the relationship.

Unknown said...

With God on.your side & you being truthful, he will surely will.

Unknown said...

After fcuking all the guys in ur area, u are here claiming virgin, my friend tell him hit truth, bitchy wife......and nobody should tell me shit about some ladies have no hymen and the likes......

Unknown said...

Invite ur mum and tell her to explain it to him...if he does truly love u he will believe and understand

All purpose store ng 08188861083 said...

I feel so sorry for u dear, u just av to tell him d truth

Emeralda said...


Firstly it is not a MUST yhou bleed when disvirgined. Secondly you know you never had sex willingly with anyone and didnt know of this strange happening until now your mum told you. My advise do not tell your husband .......LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE . You never really had sex with anyone knowingly so jus forget it.

Anonymous said...

Take your husband to your parent, they will be the best to explain to him and i believe he will understand and believe you if he hears it form them...... Best of Luck!!!

Anonymous said...

Women be deceiving men with virginity since 1881. This your story though, sounds cock and bull like.

Jessy's Corner said...

Yes u have to explain to him the reason u didn't bleed the first time, he should even pity you sef. And your mother should have told u sooner. Pele dear.

Unknown said...

Ehya. Explain to him. If he TRUELY loves you, he'll understand cos I wanna believe he didn't marry you cos of virginity plus which guy puts his mind on virginity these days?? Is he a virgin himself??

Anonymous said...

Why cant't you explain? What kind of stupid statement/question is that? You were 4! You were raped as a child. Not your fault and if he wants to blame you or be mad at you for something that you had no control over, then he must be a fool. Just tell him and move on with your life. This is what i don't like about marriage, people deceiving and lying to each other over insignificant and inconsequential matters.

Unknown said...

After fcuking all the guys in ur area, u are here claiming virgin, my friend tell him the truth, bitchy wife......and nobody should tell me shit about some ladies have no hymen and the likes......LINDA PLEASE MARRY ME

Unknown said...

Communication is vital here but your hubby should take it easy jor.Is he goin to cook soup with your virginity? I am sure u will be very tight down there when u guys did it except otherwise.Tell him your findings if he truely loves you that should calm him down.But I truely see no big deal in it.Let him continue to love u abeg.

Anonymous said...

am sorry but not all virgins bleed.am also a case of that.please dont ask people around,seek the assistance of a doctor.and it also depends on d way u both started.if u did more of foreplay,den it is possible dats the reason

Unknown said...

Wat a painful atmospher. But dear I will like to tell u to tell ur mum to talk to ur hubby let her be the one to tell him nd also made it knw to him dat u neva knew up until dis. Den wait nd see his reaction after dat.

*kisses*

Unknown said...

Sorry just be ur self stop trying to convince him. No be that one dey take person go heaven

Anonymous said...

Story story!!!

@MEETD®EALEVANS™ said...

Young lady u got opened at age 4 and u must av married in Ur twenties, dey still wud av been blood...cos it closes wen not penetrated for a very long time...maybe an accident also broke it d second time...heard a case of an accident breaking a girl's V...

Unknown said...

explain to him dou the best will be for your parents to tell it themselves to him and his family giving the reasons they disclosed from you...trust is fundamental in a relationship #all_is_well
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go to eclothes.com.ng for trending male and female clothes, shoes and accessories. fashion...shopping just got easier

Anonymous said...

Pls explain to ur husband,he will understand it wasn't ur fault at all

Unknown said...

Pls don't and don't...

There r stories in our life better dead, buried and forgetten.

"Things dat u don't knw never hurt u..."
Hope dis adage is not new to u?

Pls don't bother if u want to maintain d trust in ur marriage. If I were him, when u tell me I wil feel dis is number two reason y I should never trust u.

B wise and keep ur home. Do not listen to foolish advice of u telling him. Dat wil b foolish as far as am concern.

Unknown said...

Yes u shd...he WL understand

Unknown said...

Dis story funny ooh. E beta mak ur mum tell ur husband dat story directly

Unknown said...

ur mum told u all dis ? still u kept deceiving urself dat u are a virgin? why didn't u tell ur husband wat u went thru as a kid? He wont believe u, me too I wont..U hav made a big mistake..In other news I'm back to dis horrible country Nigeria.................................#KingOfKings #6God

Unknown said...

Pls don't and don't...

There r stories in our life better dead, buried and forgetten.

"Things dat u don't knw never hurt u..."
Hope dis adage is not new to u?

Pls don't bother if u want to maintain d trust in ur marriage. If I were him, when u tell me I wil feel dis is number two reason y I should never trust u.

B wise and keep ur home. Do not listen to foolish advice of u telling him. Dat wil b foolish as far as am concern.

Unknown said...

the fault is from ur parents but Diaz no need crying over spilt milk.all u need do is to open up to ur husband and explain to him DAT and if he really loves u,he will understand

Unknown said...

Yeah is very possible u lie! Was once a victim of dis same shit... She lie dat she broke it in a tennis coat bt latter fount out dat it was all a lie... Stupid gals dis days r fun of dis, wallahi....don't knw bout ur own case though bt gals r fun of dis kind of shit dis days, u see....

Anonymous said...

GOOGLE HAS D BEST ANSWER TO THIS

Anonymous said...

Pls do have a heart to heart talk with your husband by telling him the truth, if he really have a true love he will definitely understand.

Buqore said...

If you guys love each other and very close,explain to him nwww.he should know everytin abt you.its not ur fault you were raped.@linda is my role model!

Unknown said...

MR EDDY said this harmattan is sponsored by MTN. It is everywhere u go.

To start with.
Was your husband a Virgin? If no, he should go and take some chilling pills. But if yes. Then explain things to him. After all ur mom n dad are gonna back up ur story.
^
^
^™THAT EDO BOY.COM~wishes u happy new year.

Anonymous said...

You're still asking people if you should tell someone you're 'Married' to? Or you and your husband should keep it as a secrete and not tell other people....smh! Do people even know the meaning of husband & wife?

Unknown said...

If he really loves u he will take u for ur words.

Anonymous said...

Not every virgin sees blood.....sometyms d hymen breaks n it's a whitish substance that comes out...y'all should start being enlightened on dis things. blood ko

Unknown said...

id rather you tell him the truth about what your mum told you cos at the long run, its better he sees you as his truthful wife than a liar and you would still carry the burden alone.

Bimablinks said...

It aint ur fault, jst let him knw

Anonymous said...

Keep that gist to ur self! No need telling ur hubby he wld think it was more lies fabricated to persuade him u were a virgin. When I got disvirgined blood didn't come out. It is not all cases that the woman would bleed. The hymen may have been torn during some vigorous exercise or sports it is no big deal. Relax and enjoy your marriage, does your husband loves you unconditionally or because you were a virgin? Was he a virgin when u got married? Some men marry ex prostitutes who are now godly and they live happily why so much importance to just hymen?

Unknown said...

Yeah is very possible u lie! Was once a victim of dis same shit... She lie dat she broke it in a tennis coat bt latter fount out dat it was all a lie... Stupid gals dis days r fun of dis, wallahi....don't knw bout ur own case though bt gals r fun of dis kind of shit dis days, u see....

Anonymous said...

So uncle...you self dey find brand new toto in 2015? Your body is not ok...mtcheeww...is he a virgin too?

Unknown said...

You are not a young woman..you are 18yrs, well..just stick to your story..tell them you rode a crazy horse,alot of Girls loose their virginity to horse ride..put the blame on the crazy horse

Unknown said...

Yeah is very possible u lie! Was once a victim of dis same shit... She lie dat she broke it in a tennis coat bt latter fount out dat it was all a lie... Stupid gals dis days r fun of dis, wallahi....don't knw bout ur own case though bt gals r fun of dis kind of shit dis days, u see....

Unknown said...

Indeed its hard to believe buh since u re sure of wat u re sayin.xplain to him d exact thn with ur mother as reference.aftrall ur case is a similar thn to one Nigerian movie titled My Dove.its well dear.. #God bless#

Unknown said...

Explain to him



#Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE

Anonymous said...

Which means the last time u had sex before ur marriage was at age 4... even at that u re still suppose to bleed o.. what u re experiencing need medical explanation.... That is my humble opinion from Anonymous

Unknown said...

Yeah is very possible u lie! Was once a victim of dis same shit... She lie dat she broke it in a tennis coat bt latter fount out dat it was all a lie... Stupid gals dis days r fun of dis, wallahi....don't knw bout ur own case though bt gals r fun of dis kind of shit dis days, u see....

Unknown said...

Explain to him fast, and if need be, invite ur mom to talk tins over with him. I'm sure he will understand &continue to love you. Best of luck.


@Sophia Stephen

Adaoma said...

I think you should still explain to him. You didn't know. It's not your fault. To you, you spoke the truth. Your mum should have told you long before now. Arrange a meeting with your parents and let them tell him what happened and why they didn't tell you. Most importantly, pray! It's well.
The heart of man... 4 pete's sake a four year old girl! kai!

tee said...

Oh that is serious, but I think u shld tell him.

xquisite said...

Geez! So touching. Yes you have to tell your hubby so he doesn't see you as been unfaithful and a liar. You didn't know about the rape so it isn't your fault. Goodluck dear

Anonymous said...

Trust is a fundamental factor in every relationship, if your hubby feels the virginity is a big deal, tell him the truth just this way and you stress the fact that you also just got to know. God help your marriage and please don't think of lying to him. It will be worse when the truth finally comes out.

REXOVIC said...

Y DID IT TAKE YOUR MUM 28YRS TO TELL YOU DIS? ALL THE SAME YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE FROM YOUR HUBBY THAN TO TELL HIM WHAT YOU WERE TOLD .........OR BETTER STILL LET YOUR PARENTS DO THE TELLING IF THAT WILL CONVINCE HIM!
GOODLUCK

Unknown said...

Indeed its hard to believe buh since u re sure of wat u re sayin.xplain to him d exact thn with ur mother as reference.aftrall ur case is a similar thn to one Nigerian movie titled My Dove.its well dear.. #God bless#

Unknown said...

Sorry o..... but ur husband is a bush man where is it written that a virgin must bleed on her 1st day

Ochuko Arhiakpore said...

What's the essence of being a virgin?ask ur husband if he is a virgin!ur story is for the gods #21st century men don't think like that.

GEJ till 2019

!! BIG BROTHER SAYS SO !!

racheal said...

Hmmmmm...well guess u ave to come open with hubby!

Unknown said...

Ghen ghen trouble of life....I heard not all virgins bleed when the flower is broken...don't know how true that is but I believe it.....didn't the hubby notice the tightness of that area when he was penetrating? Rubbish!! Why marry someone because she's a virgin...him self is he a virgin? Nonsense
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¤¤¤GUTS OVER FEAR¤¤¤
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¤¤¤QUEENMAYA¤¤¤

Anonymous said...

Tell your husband the story, if possible, get your father to talk to him about it, man to man or may be your mother if she can handle it.

Kaycee said...

Hmm I think you should tell him d truth

Unknown said...

You should have told him αℓℓ that. Little things wreck marriages/relationships. That blood should be a proof. Αℓℓ the same you can call your mom to help you tell him. And ofcourse tell him that you get traumatised whenever you remember that. Good luck!

Unknown said...

Since he is already doubting u, thinking u lied to him u were a vargin b4 u got married then there is need for u to also tell him the story ur mum told you. In doing so it might cushion his mind.

Sylvanus said...

I do not see why he will not love you again. The truth is that you are actually a virgin since no man has touched you with your consent. The incident narrated by your mum was not your fault and you were not privy to it. In fact your mum should come over and explain that to your hubby herself.

Emeruem Chijoke Stanley (stan4real_25@yahoo.com) said...

Well now you know the story of your life, i advice you tell your husband the truth, and ask for forgiveness, i believe he is going to forgive you. But if he still feels that you are still lying, call your parents to explain things to him.

Anonymous said...

Let ur mum talk to him and let him know that u didn't know about it too beside my first time no blood body is different

Anonymous said...

There are many ladies that blood will not be the proof. Not all ladies bleed. Am writing from experience except from the incident your mum told you about.

Anonymous said...

You should take him to your mother and she would explain everything to him

Unknown said...

Eyaaaa...... Your Mum should have told u this before na!!...chai!.. ngwa explain 2 ur Hubby zi now!! God Help You!! #AnotherDayAnotherStory# nnkan nbe!

Phauziah said...

Yes, u need to tell ur husband. If possible with ur both parents on seat.

AGB said...

I don't know you dearie but I believe you. Talk to your husband about what your Mom told you. He already loves you right? He's just not certain if you told him the truth& that's understandable but I guess he'd believe what your mouth told. Just take a deep breath ok? Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Part two of my comment: at 28, you're NOT a young girl; you're a young woman. You stopped being a girl somewhere between when you were 18 - 21 years old.

Unknown said...

This is a serious case, I tink if d man truly loves u as uve said he will listen to u and understand u

steve said...

tell him or better still let your parent sit him down and tell him...

Unknown said...

This is all your parent's fault as they ought to ve told you b4 nw. They should be the one to tell u husband.

Bunny said...

What kind of blood was he expecting? A river? Some people don't bleed. 2ndly why should this change his love for you,is he a virgin himself? Selfish man. You can tell him the story but asides that goat of a neighbour molesting you, you kept ur self till marriage. Your husband should appreciate that

Anonymous said...

dont. it will strain your relationshp futher

Anonymous said...

...sorry about what happened to you. By the way, did your husband marry you for love or for virginity?

You can tell your husband what you just learned from you mum and if he loves you, he will understand and empathise with you.

LOVE conquers all.

Unknown said...

Simple explain to me
If he loves u
This shouldn't be a big deal

Unknown said...

Take his name to ijebu-ode

Phauziah said...

Yes, U need to tell ur husband. If possible with your both parents.

AGB said...

I don't know you dearie but I believe you. Talk to your husband about what your Mom told you. He already loves you right? He's just not certain if you told him the truth& that's understandable but I guess he'd believe what your mouth told. Just take a deep breath ok? Cheers.

Anonymous said...

I didn't bleed one bit but I was extremely tight and my husband couldn't penetrative easily free your mind.

Anonymous said...

quit unfortunate incident. But i guess your mum should do the wrong. Had it been you have been informed about your past it would have been so easy for you to explain to your man right from inception and which i believe a reasonable man should still stick by you for saying the truth. In a nut shell, your mum should invite the man and do the wrong.

Anonymous said...

Tahhhhhh..don't even try explaining shit...Nd hu told u DT every virgin must c blood.?do u even know y blood comes out from a virgin's vagina?..its by percentage ..78% may c blood Nd 28% may not c blood...just stick to d fact dt Ure a virgin Nd I biliv It must b very tight Nd painful .wen he was doing it.Bcos its bin long na(since u wr 4)..some may even loss Thr virginity from strenuous exercise or so...@salesco

Unknown said...

my dear PUT IT IN PRAYERS THEN CALL YOUR HUSBAND AND EXPLAIN TO HIM HOPEFULLY GOD WILL TOUCH HIS HEART TO UNDERSTAND!!!!!!JC

Unknown said...

OMG! Ha, I dnt knw wat 2 say oo.
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Unknown said...

Well the best thing i would have done if i were in your shoe, will summon courage and tell him all my mother told me.more over the mistake wasn't from you cos u were very young and mother should have told u long ago.

you just have to try, a man that loves u will always love you no matter what.

susan chukwuka said...

Tell ur hubby sweetheart, if he loves you as u have said, he will believe you....hmmm

Anonymous said...

This is pathetic, and your mum also made a mistake for not telling you your past when you are now a grown up, i think our mother is the most closest to us and we are free to discuss any of our lifetime issue with them, well I will advice the young man to still stay in the marriage coz you are both meant for love........

Unknown said...

Mtchhew! See story o, wen ur hubby penetrated you didt he notice, blood is no silly proof. Of virginity smtin that was done four yrs ago is nt enuf proof thaat u ain't still a. Virgin cos d Virginia must have contracted and seal kindda even tho there's no blood, it will still be hard to penetrate as that of a virgin....some men sef

jessica egolo said...

I advise you to tell your husband, explain what your mother told youto him. The fault is from your. Mum cos she should have told you.

Mobolade said...

Interesting! I actually blame her mom for keeping the secrets from her daughter, if the mom had told her, she would have worked on her mind and get over it while growing up. The daughter would have also explained to the man before marriage if she had known. So i ll suggest she tells her mom to call the couple and speak with them together, saving her daughter by telling the man the whole story.

Unknown said...

Whao!!! Am sori for dat, you can go ahead n explain to him den as rgds to bin a virgin n u didn't see blood it happens as well if u are smone dat does sport dou I don't understand the theory behind it BT a medical person shld. Love is a thing of the heart not ........

Unknown said...

Tell ur mum to do the xplanation because u didn't know about it all the while, u were a kid den and didn't knw wat happend. If u knw ow to tell him dat he will understand, den dats much better!

obiora said...

Try explaining to him. Hard to believe though.

Unknown said...

I am becomin sick of this Fuckery of complains by retards on LIB. I ve got to cure my addiction to this fuckin blog. Fuck the DUDE. Virgin or no virgin, pussy na pussy.

Gee said...

U and your block head husband are trying 2 make an issue outta nothing. God does not dwell in the past. What is important is now.

Bonita Bislam said...

Which century is your hubby from?

Catwalk With Pat said...

Awww, Just find a way to make him believe you, if he loves you, he will believe you especially if you seldom lie to him...your mum didnt do good by hiding that fact from you though.

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Unknown said...

I don't think that was enough to break the hymen at aged 4.
Not all virgin bleeds. If you had engaged in other fore plays before sex then there is every chance that you wont bleed during penetration.
Some form of exercise cause you not to bleed too.
So i think you do more research on this before talking to your husband.
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Kponskii said...

I don't think he needs to know the details. Most virgins break their hymen through strained exercises...

Unknown said...

Ghen ghen...

Unknown said...

Just tell him

Anonymous said...

Dnt tell him the truth,its not a must for a virgin to bleed,it might be possible ur hymen broken due to stress

Anonymous said...

Madam at 4years,the v suppose close back,haba me i don't even believe you how much more your husby.ONEA...

Anonymous said...

mgt4all@gmail.com: YES, GO AHEAD AND TELL HIM. HE HAS TO BELIEVE YOU. BE POLITE AND DISCREET. SUCH THINGS DO HAPPEN TO SOME GIRLS. QUIET REGRETTABLE! IT WAS NOT YOUR MAKING.

AGAIN, IF YOUR MAN MARRIED YOU JUST FOR YOUR VIRGINITY, TO ME; HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. IT IS LIKE A MAN WHO MARRIED A GIRL FOR OIL-COMPANY JOB, ETC. IF LOVE IS FOR BENEFITS WITHOUT SHARING GRIEVES IT IS NO LOVE.

IS HE A VIRGIN? IS ANYTHING WRONG IF A GIRL MARRIES A VIRGIN HUSBAND?

Unknown said...

Seriously swt hrt,just sit him down nd tell. Him everytin,I. Do believe he loved u be4 he married u,so all u need 2 do is tell him everytin nd how it happened.I sincerely believe he will listen 2 you.

Unknown said...

Seriously swt hrt,just sit him down nd tell. Him everytin,I. Do believe he loved u be4 he married u,so all u need 2 do is tell him everytin nd how it happened.I sincerely believe he will listen 2 you.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm my darling dis is soo sad and heartbreaking,but pls dnt let it weigh u down,explain 2 him and let him knw all dat ur mum tld u and tell him 2 confirm frm ur mum am sure he wld understand,and also let him knw dat u never slept with anybody @ll untill u married him,

Anonymous said...

my dear the best solution is to tell your husband the truth because you were raped and your parents didnt want to hurt you with the truth. But pray first and ask for God's direction before you take the big step.

All the best

Unknown said...

It's quite unfortunate dearie but truth must be told, and u leave him to believe or not, meanwhile accept my heartfelt sympathy

CHERRY said...

Story story as if na nigeria film. Well tell ur husby d truth that's all!

Anonymous said...

Hello Lady,
I believe you owe your hubby that explanation. You can invite your Mom and let her say what she told you in his presence. She should also let him know that they never told you this until now. If you do not explain to him, he will have trust issues with you. All d best....Mrs. Eunice

Unknown said...

I think you should tell him
If possible let ur mum be there and explain better
If he loves you he will understand and forgive

Unknown said...

Just tell him the truth am sure he'll understand

Anonymous said...

i understand your ordeal,however keep that to yourself.

Unknown said...

You still have to find a way to tell him. Sorry dear

Jade said...

Why is being a virgin so important to him. Is he a Virgin, is his mother a virgin? He is an idiot.

Anonymous said...

I usually don't comment butbut I'm doing so now to disabuse the mindset that you are meant to bleed the first time.
For reasons best known to God women are divided into 3 categories; tthose with no hymen, thin hymens and thick hymen.
The women without hymens don't bleed at all on their first sexual experience, the ones with thin hymens are pretty much common but make no mistake even a woman with thin hymen may not bleed her first time if she has been involved in very rigorous sporting activities including tree climbing. The last category will most often than not require their hymens to be broken through medical assistance.

Coming to the issue you have, nothing beats coming out with the truth. The fact still remains that to the best of your knowledge, you kept yourself. You might just be surprised that that revelation will bring out his empathetic side. All the best!

ujuamara said...

Aww..what a touchy story. Yes, you should tell your husband what your mum explained to you. He should love you more after you explain that to him If he really loves you.

Pepe said...

Explain to ur hubby. Its not ur fault, u were only a baby. If anything, u were greatly wronged as a child. If he truly loves u he will understand. After all, men willingly marry women who are not virgins they ar in love with. Put it all in prayer & keep ya head up.

ability babe said...

Ohhh dats so pathetic dear,u just hv to explain to him so he won't always see u as a lier,may d lord b with u

Unknown said...

Hmmmm, dis is a serious matter o, I wl advise u 2 let ur mum do d talk. He wl respect r n blv wat ever she says

VEE said...

My dear, tell him the truth is not your fault. Take heart and I wish u well.....

Anonymous said...

I hv experienced this before. I was doubted,i asked same question u asked. BT I think u should tell him or hv ur parent explain that to him cos it's not ur fault bt theirs for not telling u such huge secret of ur life

Unknown said...

Just tell him its left to him to believe u or not. If he truely love u he will believe and trust u.

Unknown said...

Keep it to yourself, don't tell him. Maintain ur words of being a virgin wen he married u but come to think of it, does being a virgin and not been virgin changed anythg?

Unknown said...

Let ur parents tell him the story, dnt tell him urself and if he doesn't believe it n still doesnt treat u like a loving companion, then let him go.... because a marriage is much more than Sexuality, he should love u for who you are and not the Sexuality u brought into the marriage

PRINCE WILLIAMS said...

This your new version of the story is actually a bit hard to swallow.

Tk said...

My story is quite similar....the only difference is that I knew who did what to me. I was between 5 n 6yrs olf, and I lived with my grannies. Our house was like a 'family house'...other flats were occupied by relatives. My uncle used to 'finger' me. I did not tell anyone at home...cos I wasnt sure if he was doing the wrong thing or just playing with me. But I told my husband before we got married...we didnt even have sex before marriage, and my husband was a virgin. So there were no surprises. This uncle is now married, and as karma would have it, he has only girls (I dont pray for the same to happen to them...but i know someone else is praying for that to happen). About 4yrs ago, cousin of ours used to stay with him and his wife...and one day, he raped her (she was 21 at that time). He denied it, and her peeps just took her to the hospital to flush whatever ...just in case.

Enough of my own story, I'll advise you talk to your husband. If he didnt marry you for your virginity, then he would understand and move on....and trust will not be an issue.. If you are scared of him, you can tell your mum to talk to him. But really, he should understand even without your mum interfering. He married you for love , not for the status of your V.

It is well with you. Let's all be careful of neighbors and uncles....

Vickyfabulous said...

Sorry to hear dat Sis, u will av to tell him, if he loves u, things are going to settle down

Unknown said...

is possible u make love 4 d 1st tym witout seeing blood go online n check. u shuld tell him explain 2him. he will undastnd.May GOD b with u.

Unknown said...

Very sorry do tell him and may almighty God help u out

Pwetty Amara Njoku said...

Yeah tell him. He'll understand cos it ain't ur fault.

Anonymous said...

if dat ur husband really care abt u wat happen sud nt b a barrier he sud luv u more bcos u didnt lied to him bcos u also dnt knw

Anonymous said...

Ok, is it that you and your husband dont communicate? Because I would have told my husband that I was going to talk to my mum about it even before going ahead to do so. Any how, it shouldnt be a big deal telling him now what your mum told you. You both will heal through it together and keep it moving. That is partnership in marriage.

Anonymous said...

Ok, is it that you and your husband dont communicate? Because I would have told my husband that I was going to talk to my mum about it even before going ahead to do so. Any how, it shouldnt be a big deal telling him now what your mum told you. You both will heal through it together and keep it moving. That is partnership in marriage.

Unknown said...

I don't think he should, except if ur mum will do dat. I advice you to take it to God in prayer,cos he is a SOLUTION to all matters.he will surely do it in his own way.and I tell u,u will be surprise

Unknown said...

why you sef dey lie

Famous Amos said...

Please tell him, if he really loves you, he ll believe you

Unknown said...

Before I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,

Anonymous said...

Ma present fiance lost ah virginity via ah ex raping ah.. And believe me she's still da best thing dat has eva happen to me. Loving ones patna superceeds bin a virgin. Tell hm da truth no matta what n let hm follow hs mind. Ur Sincerity ll vindicate U.
Goodluck

Unknown said...

my dear, weep not. u need to help ur husband to believe you. convince your parents to intervene, as they are the only witness to the issue. they might be able to convince your hubby. it can be difficult for the man though, but nothing is impossible if you apply wisdom and pray for the leading of the Holy Spirit. i wish u d best.

Unknown said...

Yes !!Explain to him.This is not your fault

Unknown said...

Is simply your mother shld explain to your hubby

Unknown said...

Before I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,

Unknown said...

Before I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,

Anonymous said...

fuck off, lying ass.

PASSERBY said...

my dear sister if it is what you said, there no reason why you should not tell ur husband. he must know everything for the health of your marriage. it will be very wrong for you not to tell him and maybe when your mother is visiting or u guys are visiting or make him talk to ur mother too. it will help him to understand and trust you more. do it as a favour to urself & ur marriage. May God speak for you as you do and may He hear/listen for ur husband as he listens.

Unknown said...

It was not your fault naa, He should still love you nonetheless, because you were deflowered by a fool...

Unknown said...

Before I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,

Unknown said...

Tell him everything that happened, since he loves you, his gonna understand.

Unknown said...

Well, you have two options you can tell him or not tell him.

If you tell him, make sure to back it up with your parents as witnesses, especially if he asks. Show him that you are telling the truth.

If you dont wan to tell him what happened then you might have to endure him looking at you like you aren't to be trusted in the relationship.

Although it doesn't matter if you were a virgin or not, you have to try and understand with him. I believe it is more about feeling lied to than actually if you were a virgin or not.

SO if you ask me I would say you should just go ahead and tell him and get it off your mind. For your own peace of mind and for him.

best of luck dear...

Anonymous said...

Who tell you say 28 young!

Unknown said...

Maybe that man deflowered you that time you were small. Explain to your husband, he will believe you.
$.
$.
@Mr Endowed via Lumia phone

Anonymous said...

His cup of tea. Let him go and buy blood and put dia,since na blood he wan see. #oneandonlynwa@gmail.com#

Unknown said...

Before I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,

Unknown said...

Before I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,

MY TURN said...

Most people were abused as kids...get your mum to speak with him, if he is still not sympathetic after this GIRL YOU ARE WITH AN ANIMAL.All the best

Anonymous said...

Yes, You have to tell your husband the truth.

Unknown said...

Your mother shldnt v kept such incidence away 4rm you and just call him and explain to him....You were defile at the age of 4 and you didn't have sex for 24yrs since you got married at age 28 that doesn't make you a virgin....But explain to him

Unknown said...

The truth shall set you both free, he needs to know the truth, if he really love you he would love u more after getting to know the truth..

Anonymous said...

common, it was not your fault the incident happened while a child, as long as your heart is right that you didnt trade your body for any man, your husband will believe you and love you more. except of course he has trust issue. you can involve your mum too if need be.

Anonymous said...

I dont recommend telling hubby. Whatever you do, stick to your story. He might claim he will understand and all but uhhh no he wont and add to it child raped, omg stick to your story missus. I just wish you didnt have to know what your mother said.

IMO, i didnt see blood either first time i had sex. and yes, i was looking forward to it,and no, i wasnt raped as a child (i hope not)

Unknown said...

Hmmmmmm

ebonyz... said...

Tell him nah. You can even involve your mum just to prove you didn't know about it

Anonymous said...

You said love u so much, it is hard to see a girl of 28 yrs still a virgin today, but if your case is true that u were raped at 4 yrs of age, don't bother to dis the subject further with ur hubby, right now he is not sure whether u are a virgin or not, let him hold on to that confusion for now. your opening up things u just found out will only amount to putting fuel in the already burning fire and dat can crash ur marriage. let the coast to be clear first i.e his head and anger to settle first and try to be a good wife, he will love d more, then in a more relaxed atmosphere discuss what u just found with him. That's my advise, sorry dear for the ugly incident at 4 yrs. Linda pls post my comment

Unknown said...

You should tell him, and let your mum be present.

Miss tiana said...

Dnt really knw wat to say...cos I was raped too wen I was small&wen I tell people dey just say story 4 d gods.but if he truly loves u,dat shud be by d way.

Anonymous said...

VERULE say-u guys hv to find a way to explain to him,by telin d persn u kn he respect so much n also pray to God abt d situation,evrytin is possible wit God. Wish u al d best. "Beautifu is life"""

Saidat said...

Its not all virgins dah releases blood, medically speaking. Don't u dare tell ur husband bouh it, it would only make him trust u less. Tell him to go ask a medical doctor and dey wud make it clear to him that not all virgins will discharge blood.

Anonymous said...

My dear,I feel your pain,ur mother should hv told u all dis story all dis while bt nevertheless,jst try n talk to ur husband,if he luvs u,he will believe u,nd accept u for who u are #fact#sharon

Unknown said...

Confused too

Anonymous said...

Hi,

Please accept my condolence for you must be in a terrible pain. However, if your husband reads LIB am sure he knows your story by now.The worst is over

Ps give us feedback on how he took it.

Unknown said...

Yes. Dear, tell him, if he don't believe, den ask ur mum/dad to come explain to him,its owk.

Anonymous said...

SUPER STORY!!! next episode please.

charmed said...

actually blood doesnt always come out. but ur own is another case. confide in him if u must.Do u knw where u can read fantastic stories?
hilarious stories about life
if u wnt to knw, check this blog out.
Life Encounters

ary said...

You were 4, tell him! Why do you even need anyone to tell you that?! If he truly loves you, he will hunt that man down and castrate him!

destinysweet said...

Tell ur parents to explain to ur hubby and if he truly loves u,he will forgive u


Auntylindagoddaughter

Unknown said...

Maybe u shld let ur mum tel him and also explain to him dat she didnt disclose it to u dat u were raped at d age of 4.

Unknown said...

Its really painful for some1 Ʊ love to actually not trust Ʊ for somtin Ʊ didn't do bt if I was in ur shoes I will take him to my parents A̶̲̥̅₪D̶̲̥̅ let him hear it straight from dere mouth A̶̲̥̅₪D̶̲̥̅ if he is half d man Ʊ claim he is den he would accept Ʊ back wit open arms bt pls βε̲̣ fast abt it A̶̲̥̅₪D̶̲̥̅ don't let d mistrust eat deep into ur relationship,A̶̲̥̅₪D̶̲̥̅ pls let us know d joyous outcome,ride on wit ur married life darling

Unknown said...

Story for de gods**** women and der fake life# u ar not wat u made him believed u wre and u ar expectin him to be happy# whr was ur mom 4fore nw and why did she not tell u* abeg park well

Unknown said...

You should tell your hubby all that your mum has told you, it's a story you weren't even aware of so it's not your fault. I don't think he should stop loving you just because you weren't a virgin.

yawanow said...

wow.
Difficult but its better to let the cat out of the bag.
Tell him the truth and be free.

ehisokhai@yahoo.com said...

He wud still luv u ofcos....dats doesn't change d fact dat u ar a virgin.., besides if he trusts you he would believe ur story n still luv u

Unknown said...

Lol... I can imagine d luk on his face wen he went in!!! As far as u didn't do it 4 gud 24yrs,e suppose clip he tin even if no blood. .2ndly,yes u shld tell him and ur mum shld hv told u earlier

Damochedxb said...

Pssst!! Some guys need to get real man. Why is he making a fuss out of shit issue? Perhaps cos he thought you were a virgin. But he should get over it already. If he was a virgin too then you're fucked... He will sure nag about it for life

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