Dear LIB readers: I was raped in school and now it's come back to haunt me
From a female LIB reader
I'm in a big mess, and I don't know how to get out of this...here is my story. About Seven years ago, when I was still in the University, I did
something very stupid and childish and I paid dearly for it, and right
now its looks like the ghost of the past has come back to haunt me.
I
was in my 2nd year in school when I met Tosin (not real name) she was my
Roomie that year and we became quite close. She was dating this cool
guy who bought her so many things and took her to the coolest parties,
despite our (the girls in the hostel room) plea to meet her boo, she
refused, saying girls are not to be trusted. After about seven months of dating him, she entered the room this particular day crying...continue...
...telling us
how she caught the guy with another girl. She cried for days, she was
devastated. Then she came up with this ridiculous idea of setting the
guy up and treating his f**k up. I was picked to be the bait, because I
was the innocent and quiet one. I collected the guy's phone number and
he fell for the sweet voice. That was how Jide and I started our relationship but it was a Revengetionship on my part. The deal was to make him
fall for me and then I dump him. Jide was sweet to me, but I never allowed him to come see me in school, and once he found out that I was a
virgin, oh he treated me like I was the rarest of all gems. After about four months of this charade, He found out the connection between Tosin and I, and to say he was angry is an understatement. He called me names and we
went our separate ways. He was hurt and this was good news for Tosin.
Six months later, I met this wonderful guy, Frank. He was so smooth and jovial, he charmed me and we started dating. After about three months,
on this particular day, I got a call from Frank, he told me he was not
feeling fine that I should quickly come over. Like every young lady in
love, I dashed down to his house, but to my surprise, I met Frank
playing scrabbles with two of his friends, looking quite healthy. He
told me he just wanted to see my face. I sat down and watched them play
for some minutes, then the door bell rang, and to my utmost mortification, Jide strolled in. It was at that moment that I knew I was
in deep mess. To cut it short, my virginity was taken in a brutal way. I was raped by Jide, Frank and their two friends, I was then warned never
to breathe a word to the police about it or they will kill me. I went
back to the hostel and Tosin was the only one who knew about it, she was
my rock and anchor, and she kept apologizing for putting me in the mess.
We finished school and everyone went their separate ways.
Ever since the incident, I was not interested in men or any
relationship, I kept to myself, focused on my future, I got a Job with a
Telecommunications company and all was well in my world. Then early last
year, I met this amazing guy, who gave me a reason to love again. Oh he
loves me, and I love him too. Three months ago, he proposed and I accepted. It was that time that I found out that he is Tosin's very close cousin,
Since then, Tosin has been threatening to tell him about the rape, that I should leave his cousin alone. She said if I don't, she will tell my fiance's family. I was shocked. She was the reason I went through all
that, and she is threatening to take the little happiness I just found
away from me again. I'm confused, I'm angry, I'm sad. I don't want to
lose my man. I accept that I was stupid back then but I've paid dearly for
it. Should I be deprived of this too? Someone please help!
And so? Call your guy and explain everything to him, every saint has past and every sinner has future, don't just worry yourself over it, this is even the right time for you to know if the guy love you..a word is enough...
Tell the guy. If he genuinely loves u, you would both get thru it. Once you sort this out,delete tosin as a friend from your life, keep her at arms length.
Oh dear... Go ahead of the tosin, share your past with your fiance, narrate the story exactly as it happened, be sober, let him know how hurt it feels when you realized how stupid and naive you were and ask for his forgiveness. If he is indeed in love with you, he will forgive you and even love you more for not keeping it secret and hiding your past from him. Meanwhile, do you also know if your fiance too has got a dirty past? "Love covers multitude of sin"
Swty wat u shud do is call ur fiance and let him in on err'thng,,,,,,from day one I mean(i.e 7yrs ago) 4get about Tosin if he truly loves u he'll stay....its not up to her. God is ur strength dear.
Wat am abt tellin' u is vry much easier said than done in dis vry delicate situation u jst found urself but am gonna say it anyway. Since ur so-called skool buddy is threatenin' 2 air ur dirty laundry hw abt u be da first 2 tell ur man of ur past. If he happens 2 stick wit u den knw u've got urself one hell of a perfect soul-mate, if not den he isn't right 4 u cuz it's needless tryin' 2 find a common ground wit ur skool buddy in tryin' 2 conceal ur past frm ur man cuz u might end up being terribly hurt in da future & may i also add dat it's beta dat diz came up nw cuz his attitude towards u will change 4 worse if he finds out abt diz when u guyz are already married. GudLuck cuz u'll be needin' it...
Hallo Baby, I understand your plight. IF WHAT U POSTED IS TRUE; confront your man n tell him. If he really loves u, he will understand. The worst thing to do is not to tell him. Rape isn't your fault. Remember to pray b4 u confront him. U will win that I am sure
TELL HIM EVERYTHING DEAR WHO KNOWS HE MAY BE FRIENDS WITH ONE OF THE RAPIST TOO BCOS THIS IS A SMALL WORLD DEAR. IF HE TRULY LOVES YOU HE ACCEPT YOU. I JUST PRAY YOU DON`T HAVE DELAYED IN CONCEPTION SO HE WON`T HAVE TO MAKE REFERENCES TO THE PAST. BUT IT IS BEST TO TELL HIM TO AVOID FUTURE BLACKMAILS AND TRAGEDY.
And what is the name of this nollywood movie? Mtchew too fictitious... 144 million peeps and u all seem to meet everyone that is connected to this tosin your friend, which kind of over coincidence is this? abeg I don't buy this story one bit.
WHAT I HATE MOST ABOUT THIS SITUATION IS WHEN A VICTIM LET HERSELF TO BE SO VICTIMIZED. U DIDNT DO ANYTHING AND YOU ARE LETTING A FAULTY ONE VICTIMIZE U, A U ALRIGHT. SIT UR MAN DOWN AND TELL HIM AND NEXT TIME SHE THREATENS YOU, TELL HER YOU WILL GIVE HER UR MAN'S NUMBER. THE STORY SHOULD COME FROM YOU AND NOT FROM HER. TELL HIM FIRST SO HE HAS THE CHANCE TO BACK YOU UP OR YOU WAIT FOR HER TO TELL HIM AND HE WILL BELIEVE WHO EVER SAYS IT FIRST. DO BE AN OVER VICTIM TAKE YOUR LIFE IN YOUR HANDS.
Here I was thinking abt my own story I blive u BTW ur frd tosin shudnt be an issue, telling ur fiance everything shud be ur number 1 priority cuz dis is sumtin u shud av told him 4rm d onset not wait until he proposed or u ve already picked a date , u beta tell him fast b4 tosin will,is beta he hears it 4rm u dan her cuz one way or oda his gona find out.
Tell your man what happened, like they say if he loves you he will let it go and stay with you if not he is not yours then. Make sure you tell him immediately, don't lie or add any sugar to the story oooooo. say the exact truth.
You weren't stupid, you were naive and To sin played on that naivete pretty well. I suggest you tell your fiance yourself after all its too big of a secret to keep especially since Tosin is in the picture... it might not be easy, but what can you do? will you rather walk away without knowing if your fiance would be accepting of the situation or will you dance to the music played by the piper (Tosin) once again? Rest assured, you are not that young impressionable student anymore, you ve moved on from a terrible situation that would have moved lesser persons to suicide. You are accomplished and a grown woman, it's high time you started believing it
If you ask me, Tosin is a hater! You shouldn't be afraid of her. Tell your man what happened and how Tosin was involved. If he loves you, the worst that can happen is him getting furious. So because you were raped, you shouldn't marry or what. Don't let anybody take away what is yours. Not even Tosin.
Tell the guy what happened, if he really loves you he will do anything to keep you no matter what his cousin does. but if he leaves you because of the confession then u know he is not for you. u need to tell him that yourself before his cousin does.
Dearie, everybody has a past. If you both love each other then you should be able to let out your past and move on in live. You have to tell him what happened. don't keep any secret. If he LOVES you he will still continue the relationship. He should also do well to shut her up.
Dearie, everybody has a past. If you both love each other then you should be able to let out your past and move on in live. You have to tell him what happened. don't keep any secret. If he LOVES you he will still continue the relationship. He should also do well to shut her up.
Dearie, everybody has a past. If you both love each other then you should be able to let out your past and move on in live. You have to tell him what happened. don't keep any secret. If he LOVES you he will still continue the relationship. He should also do well to shut her up.
Dearie, everybody has a past. If you both love each other then you should be able to let out your past and move on in live. You have to tell him what happened. don't keep any secret. If he LOVES you he will still continue the relationship. He should also do well to shut her up.
My dear tell him you were raped and let him know the whole thing happened due to your ignorance and that his cousin is the mastermind of the whole thing. If he truly loves you, what happened in the past won't matter to him but help you to forget about it. Do not allow Tosin to blackmail you. #flipsmyloooonghair
is that y u are confused. worst case senerio, tell ur man d whole gist aftrall everybody has a past. moreso its not as though u were a prostitute back den so y d fear. let tosin go to hell, burn to ashes n remain there. if ur man loves u he'll still forge ahead with ur wedding.
Awwww I feel your pain but it best you tell your man the truth,nothing but the truth,don't wait till he find's out from an outsider,if he truly and sincerely loves you he would stay.
if u claim u truly love the guy and he loves you back best thing for you to do my lady is to let ur boo kw abt the rape and let him kw is was his sweet cousin that put you in dat mess or else if he gets to find out from Tosin he will label a hoe and a cheap girl
What is yours will definately be urs. In the first place you should have told him after he proposed to you. You plan on spending your life together so why would you even start with lies. Please tell him your self and if he is yours despite it hurts, he will stay. But if he finds out from his cousin then he would despise you more than he loves you right now. Try to put yourself in his shoes how would you feel if such a thing was hidden from you. Just ignore your friend and tell your fiance. If he still wants you he would know how to handle it. Fa8
What is yours will definately be urs. In the first place you should have told him after he proposed to you. You plan on spending your life together so why would you even start with lies. Please tell him your self and if he is yours despite it hurts, he will stay. But if he finds out from his cousin then he would despise you more than he loves you right now. Try to put yourself in his shoes how would you feel if such a thing was hidden from you. Just ignore your friend and tell your fiance. If he still wants you he would know how to handle it. Fa8
What is yours will definately be urs. In the first place you should have told him after he proposed to you. You plan on spending your life together so why would you even start with lies. Please tell him your self and if he is yours despite it hurts, he will stay. But if he finds out from his cousin then he would despise you more than he loves you right now. Try to put yourself in his shoes how would you feel if such a thing was hidden from you. Just ignore your friend and tell your fiance. If he still wants you he would know how to handle it. Fa8
Open up to your fiance tell him everything that happened and what led to it before Tosin does,if he loves you that much he will still marry you becos what happened is not your fault.
My dear, am so sorry for what u have to go through in d hands of those evil men. My advice is dis: First of all, u should have reported to the police wen dey raped u and their threat of killing u . The police would have kept u in a protective net and have arrested those devil-born guys. Now, let me leave d past and focus on now. What does this so-called Tosin want to tell ur fiance's family about u? Does he want to tell dem how he and his evil friends raped u? which means he is reporting himself as well and not destroying ur image. So just let him go ahead and tell dem wat happened. What u should do is to tell ur fiance everything dat happened. Just make sure he believes u and leave everything in God's hand. Take care my dear.
Pls come out clean and tell ur new guy the truth. It will be worst if ur friend tells him. It happened to me. If he walks away, don't bother someone dat will understand will come. She was never ur friend. GERRY
Awwn i know a bit of what you are going through,i would advice that you tell your fiance the whole truth. Cos even if you run away from this one it might keep haunting you. You deserve to be loved and be happy.
call ur man sit him down n explain everything 2 him,if he loves u he will stay bt if he didnt stay that means he never loves u .anyway his 2 b ur husband so he as 2 kn i wouldnt like my wife 2 keep that big secret away from me n let me find out else where.
So sorry dear, but you should have personally open up to ur fiance b/4 now. but it is not too late now summon up courage and inform him yourself if he truly loves you he will stay with you. Remember true love is pure it has no secret.
call ur man sit him down n explain everything 2 him,if he loves u he will stay bt if he didnt stay that means he never loves u .anyway his 2 b ur husband so he as 2 kn i wouldnt like my wife 2 keep that big secret away from me n let me find out else where.
I think u should tell your man the story before Tosin tells him...'cos when Tosin tells him before u, he may believe u were hiding sth and thus hinder his trust for u...and if Tosin tells the store too; hmmm she will probly add salt, sugar and pepper so baby girl take the first step
call ur man sit him down n explain everything 2 him,if he loves u he will stay bt if he didnt stay that means he never loves u .anyway his 2 b ur husband so he as 2 kn i wouldnt like my wife 2 keep that big secret away from me n let me find out else where.
So sorry dear, but you should have personally open up to ur fiance b/4 now. but it is not too late now summon up courage and inform him yourself if he truly loves you he will stay with you. Remember true love is pure it has no secret.
That Tosin must be a wicked witch. My dear, if your story is true i advise you tell the guy first &if he's a good man, he will stay by your side when the pressure from his family comes miya
Tell him before she tells him if he will leave , he will if not he will stick to u.. Its worse if she tells him and do not let her knw u plan on telling him. Tell him the whole truth and leave nothing out.
so you still keep away your past from the man u want to send the rest of your life. if love yourself and your man tell him now or live your in blackmail. if he really love you, he will still marry you
All I think u shud do is make sure u talk to ur man, make him realise dat u were young and stupid wen all dat happened. Tell him the whole story and if he loves u dearly, he will understand and myt end up fighting for u.
I am so sorry for what happened to you, but I am going to keep this short and simple. If your story is entirely true....Tell Tsin to go ahead and if your man leaves you..hes not yours. it sounds easy but I know it isnt.
Good luck dear.
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They say the truth will always set you free so i will suggest that you tell your fiance the truth and if he truly loves you, then he will stand by you. My dear, it is not your fault in anyway whatsoever that you were raped. No woman deserves that no matter what. Tell him the truth for if he is truly your husband then nothing can come between you two. Don't forget to put it in prayers.
What a sad story, my candid advice 4 u is 2 tell him about ur past cus if truly he is urs of course he won't leave u no matter what, ur past is gone already don't let it affect ur present.
I will advise that you tell your man before she does.Tell him the whole truth.If he loves you he will stick around and if not then let him go.The truth will still come out one day even if your friend decides not to tell him.
What I don't get my dear, is why your whole love life should revolve around a certain people "Jide and Tosin". For all I know this could also be another form of set up to break the last piece of your heart. Even if your Tosin of a friend agrees to shut her mouth now, she'll in time use what she knows against you, to me you better let go. You've got a real life waiting aside the "Jide and Tosin" world.
What stops you from telling him. After all everybody has a past and he should learn to love you as a person which includes your past and present. Tell him first then, call her bluff
What stops you from telling him. After all everybody has a past and he should learn to love you as a person which includes your past and present. Tell him first then, call her bluff
Hmmmmm.....story that touches the heart....come out clean, its difficult but just do it.If it works out well for u, good but if not, life goes on.Its a tough one but u got no choice ===Pearl===
If he's the one you intend to marry, then you ought to have told him about the incident. And if he's really the guy for you, he'll stay with. That's probably the mistake you made, not telling him. Effectively making your so called friend ("Tosin") wanna blackmail you. Stay strong and God bless.
I feel ur pain love, I can't begin to imagine the trauma ur going tru. Wats urs is urs no matter wat. Tell ur boo abt ur past before Tosin does. That girl is proper witch. And also pray to God abt dis, ur a living testimony is not all abused gals make it in life becos of the trauma. Tell ur boo abt ur past he will understand, if he loves u for real he'll stay. I'm very sorry dear... 😰
Just tell ur new fiance every thing that happened in the past, if he truly love u he will understand. but don't forget to tell him that u did for the cousin.
Sweets. I'm so touched. But the only sure way I see out of this is that you find a way of telling your man before someone else does. That way it won't be news and no one will blackmail you with it. I know it aint gonn be easy but trust me it works.
What I don't get is why your whole love life should revolve around certain persons "Jide and Tosin". This could be another kinda set up to break the last piece of your heart. Even if your Tosin friend agrees to shut her mouth now, she'll in time still use what she knows against you. So, rather than begging her, I'll ask you to let go, you've got the real life awaiting you aside "Jide and Tosin" world.
Tell d guy urself. .. if he is for u, he will stay. If he hears it from someone else. .. the story will b half truth and half lie.. dnt forget to put ur own salt and pepper.
How is this a problem, you should have opened up to him and you could set up an arrangement fro the three of you to talk, let madam Tosin say it all in front of you, if the man is yours,he will stay and if he is not, jumbo and pass...the Tosin girl is mental...
If you don't want to risk loosing him, tell your fiancee before that witch of you friend gets too him Let him make the judgement call, because I can bet you $10,000 she will "conveniently forget" to mention that she put you in the mess you were in back in the day
Tell your fiance about it. Let it be his decision but let the news come from you. Also, look for the guys that gang raped you, find out about their wives and tell them what happened.
If you can't reach their wives, reach their families or call a reporter to tell your story. Those men need to be exposed and I hope all their daughters are gang raped.
Hi, firstly I am so sorry that you were raped. No woman should ever be touched against their will and I pray those men will get their demise.
I really urge you to completely tell him the truth including the fact that his cousin was a part of the plan that got you involved in rape. If he truly loves you like you claim he does then he will still completely love and accept you even after you tell him the truth.
Never ever break up with him for the fear that your friend will tell him the truth. You are the victim of rape and your friend threatening you must be a very foolish human being. You should not feel ashamed of yourself because you are not to be blamed. Those stupid men that raped you should be blamed because they are vagabonds and cowards.
Whatever happens make sure he hears the truth only from your own mouth because to him that will mean you trust him. If he truly loves you he will completely accept you and understand you were a "rape victim." You cannot start relationship with lies please I beg you to stop being afraid and tell him. Tell him everything without biting your tongue and if he doesn't accept you, then I think that he is not the one for you. God will surely bring that right man for you.
A cousin of mine has being in your situation but she is now happily married with two kids. Her husband threats her like a rare gem despite knowing about her rape situation.
I believe that for a woman to go through rape and survive it, she is one of the bravest women of all.
YOU ACTED STUPID? Pls how? No matter the circumstances no one should be raped. The only stupidity was not telling the cops. Tell your fiance abt it straight up, there is nothing to be ashamed of . It's only in Nigeria rape victims would be made to feel ashamed kmt. If he leaves you then I can 100% tell you he wasn't the one for you and your one will come. Bt tell him.\ Ps. WHY THE FUCK ARE YORUBA PEOPLE JUST SOMEHOW? How do u threaten someone who gt raped having your back? I will never be able to grasp their principles and morals. YUP! I said it. }
Hello dear, what a sad experience. My advice is; tell your guy your this part of your past. It is important. After all, you were raped and anybody can fall victim no matter how wise you think you could be.
If he is your man, trust me, he will stay with you and the situation will bring you closer together.
But if he leaves after the confession, thank God because it is a clear sign that he is not your man.
such a bad friend, dis world is cruel. i think u shuld tell ur fiance d trust just like u narrated here if he is ment for u and loves u like he claims den he would understand DAT its not ur fault.
Young lady, you should go ahead and tell your fiancee and let nature take its course. Frankly, wat will be will be and if the guy is urs, he will stay with you. This is a dicey situation you are in, but sadly, there is no easy way out of it. I hope you are able to work thru this and ur man is open hearted enof to not judge you and to know that no matter what, no one has to the right or justification to rape.
My dear people r wicked...it was in no way your fault that you r raped and this friend of yours is crazy to be blackmailing u with it. My advice is to come clean to your fiance rather than have this whole thing hang over your head. If you can tell him the was u narrated it here...or finance should understand.....or better still print out a copy of this mail u sent here n hand it to him let him read n decide.....please dear, do it cos if the family finds out from her, the story will def be twisted n it would be much worse for u.
Be d first to tell ur guy,I blv if he love u dearly as he claim he ll see it as a past and move on,so many ladies out there were rape as well and still hv a happy family,just call u man and tell him everything about ur past b4 dat ur tell him and let see d outcome but I blv God is on ur side dear.
if he really does love you as much as you think, he'll understand how difficult an ordeal it was for you and help you through it...if he doesn't...then you know his love wasn't true.
Please go ahead and tell your guy, your friend is going to tell anyways. so be the one to spill the news and thereafter if he takes it well call Tosin and have it discussed you 3. sorry sha
Explain everything to your man. He will either stick with u or let you go but dts not the end of life. Leave the tosin girl to God. We all make mistakes in our life one time or the other that come back to haunt us but as long as you have life there is hope. You are not alone. I believe you hv suffered enough.
Be the first to talk to your man about the rape, explain all to him though its not easy but with GOD on your side you can do all things. I am married and blv me, that everybody have a pass if I and my wife can sit down and talk about the circumstances surrounding how past and we understood each other and prayed about it. seek GOD in whatever you do and HE will direct your part. you wont loose him!!
If you really want happiness, you had better tell your man the story, there are meant to be no secrets in a marriage. and if he truly loves you, he will see that you were a victim and not to blame
Yes you were stupid for being used... but guess what tell your so called man and if HE IS REALLY A GOOD MAN AS YOU SAY HE WILL STAND BY YOU if not better take a walk and allow karma deal with him and his fucked up family.
Poster,the best thing for you is to sit this new guy down and tell him everything rather for him to find out from Tosin or Jide,frank or any other person, if he trully loves you,he will stay and still marry you but if not,at least the burden is lifted from you,make a clean break from the past and move on. Que sera sera.(Whatever will be,will be ) take care and all the best.
Tell your man yourself what happened!It's much better he hears it from you. It may even be an opportunity for you to know how deep his love really is. If he can love you with the knowledge of your ordeal, then you've hit jackpot!
Some girls r evil sha....first, u were stupid to agrEe to do dat...but those guys were monsters for wat dey did to u....like u said, u r in deep shit....if I were u, I'll tell d guy myself b4 ur friend does....u never cn tell wat myt happen....afterall u r to live wit him(if everytin wrks out)...tosin doesn't really have a say if ur guy says yea....and it wld. Sound less horrifying if u told it..linda dnt use my comment for lunch
Ermm....i think you should just tell him the truth before she tells him...cos if he hears it from her(with some salt and plenty pepper) its game over....
Please tell ur boo before Tosin does, if he hears it from u, there are chances he'll continue with u and trust u more, if u loose him, it'll be in honour, but if he hears from Tosin, i doubt if there'll be any form of trust, and u might not like the way you'll be discharged...God help you dear.
Wow people are wicked though. she would tell your fiance. wow.... first of all, sorry for all you've been through. i can't even imagine the pain. secondly, i think you need to talk to your fiance about this story. I'm a firm believer that if he is truly the one for you, you will end up with him. i was molested as a child and i took the time to tell my current boyfriend right from start. He loves me more than i think and if he ever sets his eyes on my cousin who did it, i'm sure he will beat the shit out of him. it might be better if you tell the man you are about to marry/commit your life to. Tell him about this particular event that changed your life. trust me, the weight on your shoulders will be lifted and if he still loves you despite all, he is a gem!!(hopefully he does). God is with you!! P.S Tosin sucks big time! i can't believe how irrational some people think. imagine if she was the one it happened to. wow!
Dis ur story sef...evrybody knws evrybody and evrytin is connected...na wa ooooo. Na one state all dis dey happen?! Anyway dearie u ve only got one solution...tell him urself. If he rily loves u...he wil stick wit u no mata wat...afta all dats wat love is all about. Tell him now!!!!!
Its beta u tell him abt it and be free of d burden, if he's truly your man, he wud understand and stand by u but if u allow tosin to be ur speaker it might be very difficult to correct. Notin gud cums easy. Wish u luck
all u nid to do is to narrate d story to him without mincing any words..if he truly love u he will find a reason to stay and convince his family(dats if Tosin let d cat out of d bag) buh if he brk up with u....God will provide a beta man for u..buh u nid to pray as well...
well telling him the truth to start with would help, and lots of prayers. and you better before she does, hearing from her would make it worse.. It aint all your fault, she's part of it.
Wow! I'm amazed, @ ur please help. First u should hv reported such gang rape n got them prosecuted. But that's in the past now. Obviously u should sit him down n explain it all to him. The way u did us. I feel 4 u. U r innocent but u had a bad gf who set u up altho u too dumb to c that. Anywys tell the truth. U r the victim here n it's nt rily ur fault...it happened as u were slow bk them to not investigate the guy, some guys r hateful! ok y didn't he rape the 1 that set him up its u he went for. I just can't deal. So tell the truth. Some guys r beasts. Almost fell into such trap in schl, cos aftr I broke up with 1 guy then I got amazing toasters from here n there, new BlackBerry contacts! Visitors from lag, abj...different strange guys but I knew it was all a trap! I was so careful! So girls pls be wise.
You should tell him yourself so he hears it from you because only you can describe the horror of the event and how terrible it was. If he is meant for you and he loves you dearly, he would not leave you and accept you. BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM YOURSELF BEFORE YOUR FRIEND DOES SO SHE DOESN'T TWIST THE STORY.
bullshit you were raped and you should feel ashamed? why will you who is the victim pay for it again...let him tell.....call the names of the guys who raped you....if his cousin wants to marry you fine if not he should go to hell....stop feeling like a victim, they who raped you should be the ones to be ashamed of them selves not you....we should stop encouraging rape by making the women feel ashamed for being raped....speak out, he is not the only man in this world..
I would advice u go on a revenge mission again but for your self dis time.... kill Tosin and then marry her cousin..... simple..... dat bitch is just mean...... but seriously I think you should tell the guy about it first b4 Tosin does because it will hurt more if he gets to hear it from Tosin first.... it's not gonna be easy buh just try. good luck
First tell Tosin to shit on herself, go to hell and burn. Secondly you must him everything if you really truly love him not because Tosin wants you to but cos is the right to do. If you keep it from him now it definitely hunt you 2moro again. Face it now. If he truly loves you, he will understand and forgive you, cos it your past and you were young anyone could fall for it. If am to be in his shoes, I will forgive, respect and love you the more. Please tell him that’s all I can say.it won’t be easy but you ought to face it and get over it.
I don't get it. The cousin is to be blamed for the rape. You didn't encourage it. So, I am wondering what he wants tell your fiance. I'd rather you tell your fiance as soon as possible before the rapist (cousin) twists the story and says you were wayward in school. I was also a victim of rape and I told my fiance and he understands. Rape is often the fault of the guy and is subject to imprisonment in advanced countries. I wonder why men make it look it the girl's (victim) fault.
even if u played along its not an excuse to be raped...stop making your self feel ashamed of being raped..tell your fiancee if he wants to go ahead fine if not leave him and move on....as for tosin she should be reported to your fiancee....you were raped they should be hiding their head in shame not you...
First tell Tosin to shit on herself, go to hell and burn. Secondly you must him everything if you really truly love him not because Tosin wants you to but cos is the right to do. If you keep it from him now it definitely hunt you 2moro again. Face it now. If he truly loves you, he will understand and forgive you, cos it your past and you were young anyone could fall for it. If am to be in his shoes, I will forgive, respect and love you the more. Please tell him that’s all I can say.it won’t be easy but you ought to face it and get over it.
I think the best way to go abt it is for u to open up to ur man, tell him evrytin dt happened, if he's really urs he won't leave u. Bcos hearing it frm u is far better than hearing it frm his cousin Tosin.....So be wise and act fast bcos u loose him bcos u must surely loose him if Tosin eventually tells him first.
My dear, I will say u tell ur man abt ur story n if he loves u truly he wil stay cos it wil b so bad 2 hear it frm her, explain everytin 2 him n let him see how wicked his cousin sisters is. Urs is not d worst, we all have our challenges n we told our men dats y we r still married 2 dem cos dey already no so if any one 2 tells dem its not strange. May God see u tru. Amen.
please... tell him what happened... i don't think any man that loves u will leave u cz of it... and on top of it all, it wasnt ur fault.. save ur relationship.. tell him
Believe it or not girl, you need to tell him urself. The whole truth. If the story is as you have told it, there is no way he wont forgive you or get over it, believe me, it will bring him over to your side.
Another thing is, no one will ever threathen you with it again. You made a silly mistake, and it's in the silly past.Tell him and go ahead and have a wonderful life.
again, believe me when i tell you, he will forgive you. I KNOW THIS
Ur friend tosin is the most selfish human being. In a relationship as serious as marriage u shouldn't be hiding anything, u should have told him since. Go ahead and tell him and if he leaves he is a coward. U did nothing wrong that is suppose to hurt him. U didn't cheat.
You don't owe him any thing, he did it to ur friend he was paid paid back in same coin. He plotted against u and raped you. You don't owe him anything. Tell ur man the truth. You don't have to be sad no man worth dying for. Be happy tell him the truth. If he wants to stay and fight the battle with u fine, but he doesn't thats good move on and let them be. His cousin broke ur friend's heart you broke his own and he raped u and still want to destroy what u are ua building on. Tell ur man, i know it is not easy but tell him even ur future man needs to know about all these things that happened in your life cause if he finds out from another person u don't have any credit to urself. Gal u have to be happy. A rapist still feeling ontop of the world. By dobis112@gmail.com
Look, tell him yourself before Tosin tells him her inaccurate version of events. Tell him everything, the good the bad and the ugly and how you agreed to do something that led to consequences. I am really sorry..
I tink the best tin u should is to tell ur man b4 anyone does, say the truth and b free if he truly luvs u he will av u dt way bt he will jst b angry dt u shuld av said dis b4 nw. Abt tosin; Lesson one don't tell ur frnds all ur secrets especially female frnds nt bcoz of nw bt d future. If u need more help 08156631343
Hey babe. Let the truth be told. At least if not just because of Tosin. But just to ease your conscience. If he loves you he would understand because it was out of ignorance you did Tosin's revenge, and Tosin would be the one the anger would rise upon
Simple, go tell your fiance, everything, its better he knows and protect you if he chooses to stay or let you go honourably, or find out from Tosin who will definitely add spice to it... Make hay while the Sunshines... You're still on the winning side. Aimale work nibere oriburuku... My lil cent...
Dear, ur story s really pathetic. I'm sorry. U shd see a therapist if need be. Cud recommend one if u dnt mind. Back to d subject, I think u shd open up to ur fiance and tell him everything. Hold bithing back. Truth is mayb u were naive dts why u agreed to the deal wf 'toisn' but anyone cud ve agreed to that. Wat jide did was more or less evil... if he rili loved u, he wld never ve contemplated doin that. u were just a bait. Anyways open up to him. If he really cares, he wld be by u. This wld put tosin to shame. Take it easy ok.. wats meant for u will never pass u by..
Sorry for your plight but I learnt a log time ago that its stupid to play the revenge game for anyone. At this point, I'll say tell him what happened and let the universe decide. If he's yours he'll stay if not, good riddance!!!
Firstly, i blame you for hiding your past from your man. One thing you fail to know is that if he is meant for you, he will stay regardless of your ordeal. But since d die is cast, you have to make up your mind now, sit him down and tell him everything word for word. It's better he hears from you than from your friend. If he still accepts you, good for you. And if not, move on cos u are not meant to be together. But that is a lesson for you not to keep your past (good or bad) from your partner and trust no friend . I'll pray for u...... Teekay
Oh my dear I feel ur pain, gosh Tosin is vewi wicked y on earth will she do dat to u after what u whnt tru cus of her,I will prefer u tell d guy urslf ok,cus he will understnd u and still marry u if he really loves u.afterall it was not ur fult,she cused everytin
So sorry darling for all you passed through. You have to tell him before she does. The sooner the better. Because if your friend does, she may end up twisting the story
sometimes we are the cause of our own problems. open up to this guy you love about your past live and experiience, tell him how he gave you another reason to love and tell him the circumstances surrounding your rape, the person who loves you will stand by you and will even love you more. it was not your fault, you did it for your friend and it backfired. it is better you tell him yourself otherwise Tosin will do it and then he will not truest you. you don't have much time, quickly tell him before you accept his proposal that there's something you need to gett off ur chest. simple
Honesty is d key word dear. Tell him about everything that happened. It wasn't your fault that you were raped. I'm sure if he loves you u have nothing to worry about. I know it won't be easy but it is better to be honest and have a clear conscience than him hearing it from his cousin and I am sure she will spice the story when saying it. This is my candid advise
tell him what happened 2 u in the past.... do not allow tosin 2 b d one 2 break the news 2 him. if he truly loves u, he wil stil stick wif u. i no its heard but my dear u hv 2 put urslf 2geder n tell him, dnt allow tosin 2 du dat cos she wil not tell him exactly how it happened. #DORO CLASSY#
Please don't give that tosin of a girl the satisfaction to tell your man your own story,gosh she is a wicked fellow. How could somebody be that wicked? Make God help her. Please tell your man and don't be scared of what will happen. Tosin is not your God.
the best thing is to tell ur man about it in which dt was meant 2 b d first tin self. seriously I dnt knw y some gals find it hard 2 open up 2 a man who loves u, u shud n if he truly loves u like he said trust me d Tosin gal wud b put 2 shame cos love conquers all its gon b bad if she does tell d guy first u wud seem like a worthless traitor n not a virtuous woman. I wish u luck!
simply tell ur fiance all dat happened in d past,if he truely luvs u he'll stand by u n defend u buh if he walks jus knw he's not d right guy 4 u. somtimes God let tins happened 2 us 4 a reason*hugs*
GOD bless u delson,dont knw y she can't tell d guy& stop dat idiotic friend of hers frm threatening her,moreover u helped her to revenge,which bible is against,tell d guy& be set free,if he is urs he wld stay& turn Mario thr,if his not GOD sent, move on wiv life,rmbr dat word in dr sid music surulere, it says babaloke lo le se gbogbo kan& oma ya awon Ota lenu.go on gurl.
Your story cuts really deep and sincerely i can understand how you feel. This is such a real Nigerian girl's story and it is a rare gift you have to be able to paint your pictures so clear despite your pain, that a reader connects with you on the deepest of levels.
Now here's the best thing i could ever say to you - Come Clean.
There's nothing to Fear honey. You need to believe this phrase first. Let go. Free yourself. The only person in control here is you. The most important person here is you. Your happiness is all that really matters and you can't come close to that Happy place you deserve if you are letting your legs get trapped in the sinking sands of Fear. And even Baby boy won't be able to make you happy longer term no matter how hard he tried.
Your Happiness begins with you first and you need to take that right back to you Woman!
After such a horrible experience, you have been strong and determined enough to push through Life. You just got a wonderful Telecomms job, you fell in love again and you were 'happy' until now. If your Creator can forgive you and go on to bless you in such ways, why can't you forgive yourself and Trust that he who started a good work with you would be faithful to its Completion? COMPLETE. The absense or presense of our beloved baby boy is not what completes you Woman!
Come clean. Why go into such a precious thing as Marriage carrying heavy duty luggages of pain from past experiences? Your marriage deserves much more than that honey. And maybe, just maybe this is the good Lord trying to help clean up some future mess for you now. You really want to get married? Come clean please.
The best way to let go so you can have the will to come clean is to Forgive yourself honey.
Stand in front of a full length mirror, stare at yourself, Love every curve that outlines the beautiful features that the Creator molded ever so perfectly for you, Appreciate your body, Appreciate you - Say the words "I Love you" to your reflection repeatedly until they mean something to you. And when they do, you might want to Cry. Oooohhh but you must! Cry!!!! The past and its pain and all the fear it enveloped would like to come out now that you finally Love you and can Forgive yourself. Now even you, can Love another being perfectly! And he would come to you so fast you won't even believe how fast the Lord's delivery service team were with your order! If this man, who has made you feel such a special thing as Love again after your horrible experience is the one for you, Trust me honey, he would hold on to you so tight your past wouldn't be able to penetrate the bond of his grip on your beautiful body. He would hold on to you and rock you while you cry as you tell him- Tears resulting from the triumphant cry of joy your Heart would beat out in streams because you have conquered Fear.
He would only do that because he understands. And the Truth is, if he really Loves you enough, he will Understand. His heart is not made of Stone if he can profess love to you- Love that's enough to have asked you to Marry him.
If that Love is good enough for a man, he would put his Happiness first, holding on to you regardless of what his cousin or anyone else thinks of his decision.
But in the sad event that he Judges you and wants out of the relationship, you should let him go. Let him go, peacefully without hate in your heart, without regrets of the future you may have already dreamed with him or the recent past you two have spent trying to create this beautiful thing. Knowing that the new Joy you have found within you would sustain you till you are ready to create with another who would come, Cause he will!
All my Love, Eva Alordiah
PS: If you want someone to cry to, contact me. I'd buy you the best 01 Shawarma after that and we could see a movie too! Or watch my Dog sleep. Or anything you want really. God bless you
Let the truth out & don't ruin your relationship with deceit. The truth always prevails, remembers this relationship is special & has to be treated as such. At worse you might break up with your fiance . Take note that it also depends on how u let d truth out.Since you know you man best. If he truly loves you, he would have to prove it by fighting for your love and you have to be strong regardless of his reaction. By the way how much of his past do you know...? I will suggest that you tell him like a story before revealing the true identity of the girl. In real relationships tears and joy are permitted to be shared, this is also a true test of his love in good & bad times ... Create a special time for this may be a dinner on a Friday or Saturday night will be perfect . After the story tell him “this is my reality, my story “Also let him know that you did tell him not because of the threat by your old roomie but fairness. A real man should be proud you did tell the truth. Trust me he will fight for you that is if he truely loves you. Pray about it before you tell the truth and God will teach you how best to tell it if he wants the relationship to blossom to a marriage. Cheers
Let the truth out & don't ruin your relationship with deceit. The truth always prevails, remembers this relationship is special & has to be treated as such. At worse you might break up with your fiance . Take note that it also depends on how u let d truth out.Since you know you man best. If he truly loves you, he would have to prove it by fighting for your love and you have to be strong regardless of his reaction. By the way how much of his past do you know...? I will suggest that you tell him like a story before revealing the true identity of the girl. In real relationships tears and joy are permitted to be shared, this is also a true test of his love in good & bad times ... Create a special time for this may be a dinner on a Friday or Saturday night will be perfect . After the story tell him “this is my reality, my story “Also let him know that you did tell him not because of the threat by your old roomie but fairness. A real man should be proud you did tell the truth. Trust me he will fight for you that is if he truely loves you. Pray about it before you tell the truth and God will teach you how best to tell it if he wants the relationship to blossom to a marriage. Cheers
Between leaving secondary school and getting a G.P in uni., you've had two pregnancies-one aborted another been contemplated for abortion.@ about 17 or 18 you already had an abortion. You're a juvenile murderer-if there's any such term in law. @ 19, you're contemplating a second murder. Imagine your resume. You want advice! Did you get advice on how to undress and throw open your legs before a man? Did you seek advice on how to suck dick? Did you get one on how to absorb the excitement from your nipples been fondled? Rubbish!!!
I see no reason why u can't stay to yourself, must u have a relationship with someone....well, I'll advice u become an Agnostics(Non-believer of love) like me. Love causes people to feel sad, pain, hurt and do unreasonable things most times, so what's the essence loving. My dear sister, let the scenario of the first event always replay in ur head cuz if it doesn't, u just might not know when you'll fall into another 'mess' and this time it'll be an Everlasting Terrible Mess. #Sir_Wyse *25F0709B*
Tosin is an esu (devil) at least now you know, talk to God about it pray for grace if this guy really loves you he'll understand and if he doesn't that's also fine but i will tell you this when Tosin's own happens to her your situation will look like heaven
Hey dear, first I need you to know and believe that you deserve to be happy despite your past. And your past is just that- YOUR PAST.
Now to the present, you've got to be brave and brace up for whatever it is, but trust me on this, a man who is gonna blame you for being a victim does not deserve to be called "your man".
But you have to apply a lot of wisdom here. The fact that you didnt tell him before the threat of being discovered came does not paint you in a good light. My advice- look for someone maybe a pastor, explain to him and ask him to talk to you fiance for you. Alternatively, take this to God and go ahead and talk to him.
Darling, if he is your man and if he is really right for you he will understand.
As for your friend, well you know the truth about that relationship now. But the fight is not for you. You leave her to God and destiny and I can bet that the future will tell its story.
Don't make matters complicated more than it already is. Open up and tell your fiance, if he loves you he will continue if he doesn't he is not for you. Remember the saying "if its meant to be it'll be"
My advise, tell your fiance first. If he understands and still sticks with you then good for him. If he doesn't, then let him go. Someone who would understand and will love you regardless of your past, will come around. If he forgives you after you tell him, kindly be bold enough to approach your friend to tell her to go and tell him. And she also should not forget the part that she was the reason why you went through all that. It will be nice for her to go tell your fiance and discovers he already knows. :)
622 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 600 of 622 Newer› Newest»Karma is mosdef a bitch , it's always comes bk to hunt those that hv 4kd up.
it wil be better you tel him d whole truth ursef b4 she dose..tel him wat happnd way bck den sure he's gona undastand n accept u d way u r
And so? Call your guy and explain everything to him, every saint has past and every sinner has future, don't just worry yourself over it, this is even the right time for you to know if the guy love you..a word is enough...
Son of Solomon
Story for the gods
Tell the guy. If he genuinely loves u, you would both get thru it. Once you sort this out,delete tosin as a friend from your life, keep her at arms length.
Oh dear... Go ahead of the tosin, share your past with your fiance, narrate the story exactly as it happened, be sober, let him know how hurt it feels when you realized how stupid and naive you were and ask for his forgiveness. If he is indeed in love with you, he will forgive you and even love you more for not keeping it secret and hiding your past from him. Meanwhile, do you also know if your fiance too has got a dirty past? "Love covers multitude of sin"
Swty wat u shud do is call ur fiance and let him in on err'thng,,,,,,from day one I mean(i.e 7yrs ago) 4get about Tosin if he truly loves u he'll stay....its not up to her. God is ur strength dear.
Wat am abt tellin' u is vry much easier said than done in dis vry delicate situation u jst found urself but am gonna say it anyway. Since ur so-called skool buddy is threatenin' 2 air ur dirty laundry hw abt u be da first 2 tell ur man of ur past. If he happens 2 stick wit u den knw u've got urself one hell of a perfect soul-mate, if not den he isn't right 4 u cuz it's needless tryin' 2 find a common ground wit ur skool buddy in tryin' 2 conceal ur past frm ur man cuz u might end up being terribly hurt in da future & may i also add dat it's beta dat diz came up nw cuz his attitude towards u will change 4 worse if he finds out abt diz when u guyz are already married. GudLuck cuz u'll be needin' it...
Hallo Baby, I understand your plight. IF WHAT U POSTED IS TRUE; confront your man n tell him. If he really loves u, he will understand. The worst thing to do is not to tell him. Rape isn't your fault. Remember to pray b4 u confront him. U will win that I am sure
TELL HIM EVERYTHING DEAR WHO KNOWS HE MAY BE FRIENDS WITH ONE OF THE RAPIST TOO BCOS THIS IS A SMALL WORLD DEAR. IF HE TRULY LOVES YOU HE ACCEPT YOU. I JUST PRAY YOU DON`T HAVE DELAYED IN CONCEPTION SO HE WON`T HAVE TO MAKE REFERENCES TO THE PAST. BUT IT IS BEST TO TELL HIM TO AVOID FUTURE BLACKMAILS AND TRAGEDY.
And what is the name of this nollywood movie? Mtchew too fictitious... 144 million peeps and u all seem to meet everyone that is connected to this tosin your friend, which kind of over coincidence is this? abeg I don't buy this story one bit.
WHAT I HATE MOST ABOUT THIS SITUATION IS WHEN A VICTIM LET HERSELF TO BE SO VICTIMIZED. U DIDNT DO ANYTHING AND YOU ARE LETTING A FAULTY ONE VICTIMIZE U, A U ALRIGHT. SIT UR MAN DOWN AND TELL HIM AND NEXT TIME SHE THREATENS YOU, TELL HER YOU WILL GIVE HER UR MAN'S NUMBER. THE STORY SHOULD COME FROM YOU AND NOT FROM HER. TELL HIM FIRST SO HE HAS THE CHANCE TO BACK YOU UP OR YOU WAIT FOR HER TO TELL HIM AND HE WILL BELIEVE WHO EVER SAYS IT FIRST. DO BE AN OVER VICTIM TAKE YOUR LIFE IN YOUR HANDS.
CHAI! DIARIS GOD O!WICKED TOSIN
Funny stories we hear. If this is true, then tell the guy. Karma is a bitch you know, Tosin will surely get hers. Goodluck.
This is superstory!
Here I was thinking abt my own story I blive u BTW ur frd tosin shudnt be an issue, telling ur fiance everything shud be ur number 1 priority cuz dis is sumtin u shud av told him 4rm d onset not wait until he proposed or u ve already picked a date , u beta tell him fast b4 tosin will,is beta he hears it 4rm u dan her cuz one way or oda his gona find out.
Tell your man what happened, like they say if he loves you he will let it go and stay with you if not he is not yours then. Make sure you tell him immediately, don't lie or add any sugar to the story oooooo. say the exact truth.
You weren't stupid, you were naive and To sin played on that naivete pretty well. I suggest you tell your fiance yourself after all its too big of a secret to keep especially since Tosin is in the picture... it might not be easy, but what can you do? will you rather walk away without knowing if your fiance would be accepting of the situation or will you dance to the music played by the piper (Tosin) once again? Rest assured, you are not that young impressionable student anymore, you ve moved on from a terrible situation that would have moved lesser persons to suicide. You are accomplished and a grown woman, it's high time you started believing it
Habeebs wifey
Omg, wat a cruel frd u hav. I know it's a difficult thing to do Bt I fink u shld let ur. Fiancé know abt wat happen. If u leave dis guy nw who Tld u d next guy u will meet will not frank or jide's brother . Such a sorry case. As for d enemy you called a frd deserve to be shot @ close range.
If you ask me, Tosin is a hater! You shouldn't be afraid of her. Tell your man what happened and how Tosin was involved. If he loves you, the worst that can happen is him getting furious. So because you were raped, you shouldn't marry or what. Don't let anybody take away what is yours. Not even Tosin.
Tell the guy what happened, if he really loves you he will do anything to keep you no matter what his cousin does. but if he leaves you because of the confession then u know he is not for you. u need to tell him that yourself before his cousin does.
Dearie, everybody has a past. If you both love each other then you should be able to let out your past and move on in live. You have to tell him what happened. don't keep any secret.
If he LOVES you he will still continue the relationship. He should also do well to shut her up.
Dearie, everybody has a past. If you both love each other then you should be able to let out your past and move on in live. You have to tell him what happened. don't keep any secret.
If he LOVES you he will still continue the relationship. He should also do well to shut her up.
Dearie, everybody has a past. If you both love each other then you should be able to let out your past and move on in live. You have to tell him what happened. don't keep any secret.
If he LOVES you he will still continue the relationship. He should also do well to shut her up.
Dearie, everybody has a past. If you both love each other then you should be able to let out your past and move on in live. You have to tell him what happened. don't keep any secret.
If he LOVES you he will still continue the relationship. He should also do well to shut her up.
My dear tell him you were raped and let him know the whole thing happened due to your ignorance and that his cousin is the mastermind of the whole thing. If he truly loves you, what happened in the past won't matter to him but help you to forget about it. Do not allow Tosin to blackmail you. #flipsmyloooonghair
I SUGGEST YOU TELL YOUR FIANCEE YOURSELF. BESIDES THAT TOSIN IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. SHE NEVER WAS.
is that y u are confused. worst case senerio, tell ur man d whole gist aftrall everybody has a past. moreso its not as though u were a prostitute back den so y d fear. let tosin go to hell, burn to ashes n remain there. if ur man loves u he'll still forge ahead with ur wedding.
Tell him the whole story, he will stay if he is meant for you. This should serve as a lesson to ladies out there.
I SUGGEST YOU TELL YOUR FIANCE YOURSELF. IF HE LOVES YOU LIKE YOU SAY, HE WILL UNDERSTAND. BESIDES THAT TOSIN IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. SHE NEVER WAS.
Pls tell your fiance all that happened. You should not be blamed. Jide, frank and his friends should be arrested.
Awwww I feel your pain but it best you tell your man the truth,nothing but the truth,don't wait till he find's out from an outsider,if he truly and sincerely loves you he would stay.
Is better you tell your man hw it happned urslf before she dose.if he truly loves you, he will accept u whether you were reped or not!!
if u claim u truly love the guy and he loves you back best thing for you to do my lady is to let ur boo kw abt the rape and let him kw is was his sweet cousin that put you in dat mess or else if he gets to find out from Tosin he will label a hoe and a cheap girl
Datz easy tell d guy yourself before tosin does
What is yours will definately be urs. In the first place you should have told him after he proposed to you. You plan on spending your life together so why would you even start with lies. Please tell him your self and if he is yours despite it hurts, he will stay. But if he finds out from his cousin then he would despise you more than he loves you right now. Try to put yourself in his shoes how would you feel if such a thing was hidden from you. Just ignore your friend and tell your fiance. If he still wants you he would know how to handle it. Fa8
What is yours will definately be urs. In the first place you should have told him after he proposed to you. You plan on spending your life together so why would you even start with lies. Please tell him your self and if he is yours despite it hurts, he will stay. But if he finds out from his cousin then he would despise you more than he loves you right now. Try to put yourself in his shoes how would you feel if such a thing was hidden from you. Just ignore your friend and tell your fiance. If he still wants you he would know how to handle it. Fa8
What is yours will definately be urs. In the first place you should have told him after he proposed to you. You plan on spending your life together so why would you even start with lies. Please tell him your self and if he is yours despite it hurts, he will stay. But if he finds out from his cousin then he would despise you more than he loves you right now. Try to put yourself in his shoes how would you feel if such a thing was hidden from you. Just ignore your friend and tell your fiance. If he still wants you he would know how to handle it. Fa8
Open up to your fiance tell him everything that happened and what led to it before Tosin does,if he loves you that much he will still marry you becos what happened is not your fault.
My dear, am so sorry for what u have to go through in d hands of those evil men.
My advice is dis:
First of all, u should have reported to the police wen dey raped u and their threat of killing u . The police would have kept u in a protective net and have arrested those devil-born guys.
Now, let me leave d past and focus on now.
What does this so-called Tosin want to tell ur fiance's family about u?
Does he want to tell dem how he and his evil friends raped u? which means he is reporting himself as well and not destroying ur image. So just let him go ahead and tell dem wat happened.
What u should do is to tell ur fiance everything dat happened. Just make sure he believes u and leave everything in God's hand.
Take care my dear.
Pls come out clean and tell ur new guy the truth. It will be worst if ur friend tells him. It happened to me. If he walks away, don't bother someone dat will understand will come. She was never ur friend. GERRY
Awwn i know a bit of what you are going through,i would advice that you tell your fiance the whole truth. Cos even if you run away from this one it might keep haunting you. You deserve to be loved and be happy.
girl ,tell ur fiance ,sit him down,if his urs he will understand you.
call ur man sit him down n explain everything 2 him,if he loves u he will stay bt if he didnt stay that means he never loves u .anyway his 2 b ur husband so he as 2 kn i wouldnt like my wife 2 keep that big secret away from me n let me find out else where.
So sorry dear, but you should have personally open up to ur fiance b/4 now. but it is not too late now summon up courage and inform him yourself if he truly loves you he will stay with you. Remember true love is pure it has no secret.
call ur man sit him down n explain everything 2 him,if he loves u he will stay bt if he didnt stay that means he never loves u .anyway his 2 b ur husband so he as 2 kn i wouldnt like my wife 2 keep that big secret away from me n let me find out else where.
I think u should tell your man the story before Tosin tells him...'cos when Tosin tells him before u, he may believe u were hiding sth and thus hinder his trust for u...and if Tosin tells the store too; hmmm she will probly add salt, sugar and pepper so baby girl take the first step
call ur man sit him down n explain everything 2 him,if he loves u he will stay bt if he didnt stay that means he never loves u .anyway his 2 b ur husband so he as 2 kn i wouldnt like my wife 2 keep that big secret away from me n let me find out else where.
Your 'friend' is a gigantic arse**le!!! What exactly did you do wrong to justify being raped? Nothing.
Tell her cousin everything that happened. Even insinuate you are not sure if the idiot Tosin didn't know about it.
Oloriburuku ni Tosin yen, walahi
So sorry dear, but you should have personally open up to ur fiance b/4 now. but it is not too late now summon up courage and inform him yourself if he truly loves you he will stay with you. Remember true love is pure it has no secret.
That Tosin must be a wicked witch. My dear, if your story is true i advise you tell the guy first &if he's a good man, he will stay by your side when the pressure from his family comes miya
Tell him before she tells him if he will leave , he will if not he will stick to u.. Its worse if she tells him and do not let her knw u plan on telling him. Tell him the whole truth and leave nothing out.
so you still keep away your past from the man u want to send the rest of your life. if love yourself and your man tell him now or live your in blackmail. if he really love you, he will still marry you
All I think u shud do is make sure u talk to ur man, make him realise dat u were young and stupid wen all dat happened. Tell him the whole story and if he loves u dearly, he will understand and myt end up fighting for u.
Tell your fiancee by yourself.
Tell him everything.
If he truly loves you he'll stay with you.
The truth, if told by you, shall set you free.
I am so sorry for what happened to you, but I am going to keep this short and simple. If your story is entirely true....Tell Tsin to go ahead and if your man leaves you..hes not yours. it sounds easy but I know it isnt.
Good luck dear.
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They say the truth will always set you free so i will suggest that you tell your fiance the truth and if he truly loves you, then he will stand by you. My dear, it is not your fault in anyway whatsoever that you were raped. No woman deserves that no matter what. Tell him the truth for if he is truly your husband then nothing can come between you two. Don't forget to put it in prayers.
I think you should tell your boyfriend the truth.
What a sad story, my candid advice 4 u is 2 tell him about ur past cus if truly he is urs of course he won't leave u no matter what, ur past is gone already don't let it affect ur present.
heey see be honest with your guy...
.if he loves you he'll be there for u
I will advise that you tell your man before she does.Tell him the whole truth.If he loves you he will stick around and if not then let him go.The truth will still come out one day even if your friend decides not to tell him.
Just tell your man!
I he really loves you, he will stay with you ...close it once and for all rather than carrying a burden that will continue to haunt you.
What will be will be!!!!
What I don't get my dear, is why your whole love life should revolve around a certain people "Jide and Tosin". For all I know this could also be another form of set up to break the last piece of your heart.
Even if your Tosin of a friend agrees to shut her mouth now, she'll in time use what she knows against you, to me you better let go. You've got a real life waiting aside the "Jide and Tosin" world.
come clean with the guy. let him know before she tells him. betruthful. It wouldn't mean am thing if he hears it from you first.
What stops you from telling him. After all everybody has a past and he should learn to love you as a person which includes your past and present. Tell him first then, call her bluff
What stops you from telling him. After all everybody has a past and he should learn to love you as a person which includes your past and present. Tell him first then, call her bluff
wow, jst tell his cousin urself
Hi I think you should have told your fiancé about the rape a long time ago. before it became an issue. the fact you were raped does not mean you are infected. Tell him the truth about it and the circumstance leading to it. you were young it could have happened to anyone. Don't be worried about losing the guy. if he loves you enough he should be willing to have you warts and all.
If your man leaves you because you were raped then please dump his sorry ass. You shouldn't be afraid beat her to it and tell your man.
Hmmmmm.....story that touches the heart....come out clean, its difficult but just do it.If it works out well for u, good but if not, life goes on.Its a tough one but u got no choice
===Pearl===
If he's the one you intend to marry, then you ought to have told him about the incident. And if he's really the guy for you, he'll stay with. That's probably the mistake you made, not telling him. Effectively making your so called friend ("Tosin") wanna blackmail you. Stay strong and God bless.
I feel ur pain love, I can't begin to imagine the trauma ur going tru. Wats urs is urs no matter wat. Tell ur boo abt ur past before Tosin does. That girl is proper witch. And also pray to God abt dis, ur a living testimony is not all abused gals make it in life becos of the trauma. Tell ur boo abt ur past he will understand, if he loves u for real he'll stay. I'm very sorry dear... 😰
Just tell ur new fiance every thing that happened in the past, if he truly love u he will understand. but don't forget to tell him that u did for the cousin.
Sweets. I'm so touched. But the only sure way I see out of this is that you find a way of telling your man before someone else does. That way it won't be news and no one will blackmail you with it. I know it aint gonn be easy but trust me it works.
Sweetheart, you did nothing wrong. all you did was help your friend. You were a victim. And your friends Tosin and those guys were the guilty ones. I suggest you sit your fiancé down and tell him what the issue is. If he's a good man, he'll see things from our point of view. So sorry about your experience! It is well.
What I don't get is why your whole love life should revolve around certain persons "Jide and Tosin". This could be another kinda set up to break the last piece of your heart. Even if your Tosin friend agrees to shut her mouth now, she'll in time still use what she knows against you. So, rather than begging her, I'll ask you to let go, you've got the real life awaiting you aside "Jide and Tosin" world.
Tell d guy urself. .. if he is for u, he will stay. If he hears it from someone else. .. the story will b half truth and half lie.. dnt forget to put ur own salt and pepper.
How is this a problem, you should have opened up to him and you could set up an arrangement fro the three of you to talk, let madam Tosin say it all in front of you, if the man is yours,he will stay and if he is not, jumbo and pass...the Tosin girl is mental...
If you don't want to risk loosing him, tell your fiancee before that witch of you friend gets too him
Let him make the judgement call, because I can bet you $10,000 she will "conveniently forget" to mention that she put you in the mess you were in back in the day
Quite a sad one...but go ahead and tell ur man urself. If he is for u, he will definitely take it. So sorry dear.
am speechless!could thsese be true?ur friend is a biatch am sorry to say...HUMAN BEINGS THO
Tell your fiance about it. Let it be his decision but let the news come from you. Also, look for the guys that gang raped you, find out about their wives and tell them what happened.
If you can't reach their wives, reach their families or call a reporter to tell your story. Those men need to be exposed and I hope all their daughters are gang raped.
Hi, firstly I am so sorry that you were raped. No woman should ever be touched against their will and I pray those men will get their demise.
I really urge you to completely tell him the truth including the fact that his cousin was a part of the plan that got you involved in rape. If he truly loves you like you claim he does then he will still completely love and accept you even after you tell him the truth.
Never ever break up with him for the fear that your friend will tell him the truth. You are the victim of rape and your friend threatening you must be a very foolish human being. You should not feel ashamed of yourself because you are not to be blamed. Those stupid men that raped you should be blamed because they are vagabonds and cowards.
Whatever happens make sure he hears the truth only from your own mouth because to him that will mean you trust him. If he truly loves you he will completely accept you and understand you were a "rape victim." You cannot start relationship with lies please I beg you to stop being afraid and tell him. Tell him everything without biting your tongue and if he doesn't accept you, then I think that he is not the one for you. God will surely bring that right man for you.
A cousin of mine has being in your situation but she is now happily married with two kids. Her husband threats her like a rare gem despite knowing about her rape situation.
I believe that for a woman to go through rape and survive it, she is one of the bravest women of all.
Have a great day!
Sounds like a made up story.
YOU ACTED STUPID? Pls how? No matter the circumstances no one should be raped. The only stupidity was not telling the cops. Tell your fiance abt it straight up, there is nothing to be ashamed of . It's only in Nigeria rape victims would be made to feel ashamed kmt. If he leaves you then I can 100% tell you he wasn't the one for you and your one will come. Bt tell him.\
Ps. WHY THE FUCK ARE YORUBA PEOPLE JUST SOMEHOW? How do u threaten someone who gt raped having your back? I will never be able to grasp their principles and morals. YUP! I said it. }
Sounds like a made up story
Sounds like a made up story
Hello dear, what a sad experience. My advice is; tell your guy your this part of your past. It is important. After all, you were raped and anybody can fall victim no matter how wise you think you could be.
If he is your man, trust me, he will stay with you and the situation will bring you closer together.
But if he leaves after the confession, thank God because it is a clear sign that he is not your man.
such a bad friend, dis world is cruel.
i think u shuld tell ur fiance d trust just like u narrated here if he is ment for u and loves u like he claims den he would understand DAT its not ur fault.
Young lady, you should go ahead and tell your fiancee and let nature take its course. Frankly, wat will be will be and if the guy is urs, he will stay with you. This is a dicey situation you are in, but sadly, there is no easy way out of it. I hope you are able to work thru this and ur man is open hearted enof to not judge you and to know that no matter what, no one has to the right or justification to rape.
Tell your man the truth. Let him know the role his cousine played. If he loves you he will be with you.
My dear people r wicked...it was in no way your fault that you r raped and this friend of yours is crazy to be blackmailing u with it. My advice is to come clean to your fiance rather than have this whole thing hang over your head. If you can tell him the was u narrated it here...or finance should understand.....or better still print out a copy of this mail u sent here n hand it to him let him read n decide.....please dear, do it cos if the family finds out from her, the story will def be twisted n it would be much worse for u.
Be d first to tell ur guy,I blv if he love u dearly as he claim he ll see it as a past and move on,so many ladies out there were rape as well and still hv a happy family,just call u man and tell him everything about ur past b4 dat ur tell him and let see d outcome but I blv God is on ur side dear.
if he really does love you as much as you think, he'll understand how difficult an ordeal it was for you and help you through it...if he doesn't...then you know his love wasn't true.
Please go ahead and tell your guy, your friend is going to tell anyways. so be the one to spill the news and thereafter if he takes it well call Tosin and have it discussed you 3. sorry sha
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
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Tosin or what ever her real name is, is one bitch no doubt.......
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
You should tell him before tosin does...if he truly loves you,then he'll be willing to forgive you
Find a way to tell him the truth.
Call your man and Tosin to a suprise meeting and tell him everything that happened. If he is trully urs, he will stay. Goodluck.
Explain everything to your man. He will either stick with u or let you go but dts not the end of life. Leave the tosin girl to God. We all make mistakes in our life one time or the other that come back to haunt us but as long as you have life there is hope. You are not alone. I believe you hv suffered enough.
Be the first to talk to your man about the rape, explain all to him though its not easy but with GOD on your side you can do all things.
I am married and blv me, that everybody have a pass if I and my wife can sit down and talk about the circumstances surrounding how past and we understood each other and prayed about it. seek GOD in whatever you do and HE will direct your part. you wont loose him!!
Tell him the truth before she does.... simple advice. If he loves you as you say, love will win.
If you really want happiness, you had better tell your man the story, there are meant to be no secrets in a marriage. and if he truly loves you, he will see that you were a victim and not to blame
Yes you were stupid for being used... but guess what tell your so called man and if HE IS REALLY A GOOD MAN AS YOU SAY HE WILL STAND BY YOU if not better take a walk and allow karma deal with him and his fucked up family.
its best u tell ur man the whole truth b4 that wicked friend of urs does. mehn pple can be so cuel...
Tell him everthing urself, exactly as it went down that day
Mr. KB says,
Poster,the best thing for you is to sit this new guy down and tell him everything rather for him to find out from Tosin or Jide,frank or any other person, if he trully loves you,he will stay and still marry you but if not,at least the burden is lifted from you,make a clean break from the past and move on. Que sera sera.(Whatever will be,will be ) take care and all the best.
KenaanB
Tell your man yourself what happened!It's much better he hears it from you. It may even be an opportunity for you to know how deep his love really is. If he can love you with the knowledge of your ordeal, then you've hit jackpot!
why not open up to your man, at least if he loves you then he will understand...
Some girls r evil sha....first, u were stupid to agrEe to do dat...but those guys were monsters for wat dey did to u....like u said, u r in deep shit....if I were u, I'll tell d guy myself b4 ur friend does....u never cn tell wat myt happen....afterall u r to live wit him(if everytin wrks out)...tosin doesn't really have a say if ur guy says yea....and it wld. Sound less horrifying if u told it..linda dnt use my comment for lunch
Call your fiance and tell him about it yourself
Karma is genius. That's why guys call it a bitch. ######QUEENMAYA#####
talk to Ur fiance first b4 she does....he didn't accept it den God has anoda plan for u... dis life sef
Ermm....i think you should just tell him the truth before she tells him...cos if he hears it from her(with some salt and plenty pepper) its game over....
Please tell ur boo before Tosin does, if he hears it from u, there are chances he'll continue with u and trust u more, if u loose him, it'll be in honour, but if he hears from Tosin, i doubt if there'll be any form of trust, and u might not like the way you'll be discharged...God help you dear.
My dear before she does, tell your man youself....it's better he hears it from you first..She's a DEVIL!!!
ur roomie is such a devil....if u can summon courage to open up to ur fiance bfor she dos wud b beta, since u dnt wana lve him
Ermm... i think you should tell him the truth....cos if she tells him(with a bit of salt and a lot of pepper) its game over..
Wow people are wicked though. she would tell your fiance. wow.... first of all, sorry for all you've been through. i can't even imagine the pain. secondly, i think you need to talk to your fiance about this story. I'm a firm believer that if he is truly the one for you, you will end up with him. i was molested as a child and i took the time to tell my current boyfriend right from start. He loves me more than i think and if he ever sets his eyes on my cousin who did it, i'm sure he will beat the shit out of him. it might be better if you tell the man you are about to marry/commit your life to. Tell him about this particular event that changed your life. trust me, the weight on your shoulders will be lifted and if he still loves you despite all, he is a gem!!(hopefully he does). God is with you!!
P.S Tosin sucks big time! i can't believe how irrational some people think. imagine if she was the one it happened to. wow!
no my dear u deserve to be loved.just open up and tell your fiance about it.I believe he will understand?
Tell your Fiance about the rape....if he loves you he'll stay and not give a hoot about what anyone says..
if he doesn't he'll let you go...(so What!)
next time when you start getting serious with a guy, tell him!!!
you are a victim and should not be victimized.
Miss L.
Dis ur story sef...evrybody knws evrybody and evrytin is connected...na wa ooooo. Na one state all dis dey happen?! Anyway dearie u ve only got one solution...tell him urself. If he rily loves u...he wil stick wit u no mata wat...afta all dats wat love is all about. Tell him now!!!!!
Get the Tosin girl raped then tell her to go ahead and report you if she wants.
Its beta u tell him abt it and be free of d burden, if he's truly your man, he wud understand and stand by u but if u allow tosin to be ur speaker it might be very difficult to correct. Notin gud cums easy. Wish u luck
all u nid to do is to narrate d story to him without mincing any words..if he truly love u he will find a reason to stay and convince his family(dats if Tosin let d cat out of d bag) buh if he brk up with u....God will provide a beta man for u..buh u nid to pray as well...
my own 2 cents l...zeuz
well telling him the truth to start with would help, and lots of prayers. and you better before she does, hearing from her would make it worse.. It aint all your fault, she's part of it.
Wow! I'm amazed, @ ur please help. First u should hv reported such gang rape n got them prosecuted. But that's in the past now. Obviously u should sit him down n explain it all to him. The way u did us. I feel 4 u. U r innocent but u had a bad gf who set u up altho u too dumb to c that. Anywys tell the truth. U r the victim here n it's nt rily ur fault...it happened as u were slow bk them to not investigate the guy, some guys r hateful! ok y didn't he rape the 1 that set him up its u he went for. I just can't deal. So tell the truth. Some guys r beasts. Almost fell into such trap in schl, cos aftr I broke up with 1 guy then I got amazing toasters from here n there, new BlackBerry contacts! Visitors from lag, abj...different strange guys but I knew it was all a trap! I was so careful! So girls pls be wise.
You should tell him yourself so he hears it from you because only you can describe the horror of the event and how terrible it was. If he is meant for you and he loves you dearly, he would not leave you and accept you.
BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM YOURSELF BEFORE YOUR FRIEND DOES SO SHE DOESN'T TWIST THE STORY.
bullshit you were raped and you should feel ashamed? why will you who is the victim pay for it again...let him tell.....call the names of the guys who raped you....if his cousin wants to marry you fine if not he should go to hell....stop feeling like a victim, they who raped you should be the ones to be ashamed of them selves not you....we should stop encouraging rape by making the women feel ashamed for being raped....speak out, he is not the only man in this world..
I would advice u go on a revenge mission again but for your self dis time.... kill Tosin and then marry her cousin..... simple..... dat bitch is just mean...... but seriously I think you should tell the guy about it first b4 Tosin does because it will hurt more if he gets to hear it from Tosin first.... it's not gonna be easy buh just try. good luck
tell ur guy about the incident, before Tosin tells him. if he loves u, he'll stay. Besides, u shuld not hide secrets from d person u profess to love.
First tell Tosin to shit on herself, go to hell and burn. Secondly you must him everything if you really truly love him not because Tosin wants you to but cos is the right to do. If you keep it from him now it definitely hunt you 2moro again. Face it now. If he truly loves you, he will understand and forgive you, cos it your past and you were young anyone could fall for it. If am to be in his shoes, I will forgive, respect and love you the more. Please tell him that’s all I can say.it won’t be easy but you ought to face it and get over it.
I don't get it. The cousin is to be blamed for the rape. You didn't encourage it. So, I am wondering what he wants tell your fiance. I'd rather you tell your fiance as soon as possible before the rapist (cousin) twists the story and says you were wayward in school.
I was also a victim of rape and I told my fiance and he understands. Rape is often the fault of the guy and is subject to imprisonment in advanced countries.
I wonder why men make it look it the girl's (victim) fault.
even if u played along its not an excuse to be raped...stop making your self feel ashamed of being raped..tell your fiancee if he wants to go ahead fine if not leave him and move on....as for tosin she should be reported to your fiancee....you were raped they should be hiding their head in shame not you...
First tell Tosin to shit on herself, go to hell and burn. Secondly you must him everything if you really truly love him not because Tosin wants you to but cos is the right to do. If you keep it from him now it definitely hunt you 2moro again. Face it now. If he truly loves you, he will understand and forgive you, cos it your past and you were young anyone could fall for it. If am to be in his shoes, I will forgive, respect and love you the more. Please tell him that’s all I can say.it won’t be easy but you ought to face it and get over it.
I will advice you tell your man about it before Tosin tell him and also, keep praying. Wish you the best.
I think the best way to go abt it is for u to open up to ur man, tell him evrytin dt happened, if he's really urs he won't leave u. Bcos hearing it frm u is far better than hearing it frm his cousin Tosin.....So be wise and act fast bcos u loose him bcos u must surely loose him if Tosin eventually tells him first.
My dear do not be intimidated by her,tell ur hubby,the truth and if he loves as u claim,he will understand ur plight.#Bewareoffriends#
Girl are you serious? The rape was a crime against you and if this guy finds out and does not seek justice for you but leaves you...he is a monster.
What
u should open up to your fiancé, tell him the whole truth abt ur past .if he is ur man he will understand
My dear, I will say u tell ur man abt ur story n if he loves u truly he wil stay cos it wil b so bad 2 hear it frm her, explain everytin 2 him n let him see how wicked his cousin sisters is. Urs is not d worst, we all have our challenges n we told our men dats y we r still married 2 dem cos dey already no so if any one 2 tells dem its not strange. May God see u tru. Amen.
please... tell him what happened... i don't think any man that loves u will leave u cz of it... and on top of it all, it wasnt ur fault.. save ur relationship.. tell him
Believe it or not girl, you need to tell him urself. The whole truth. If the story is as you have told it, there is no way he wont forgive you or get over it, believe me, it will bring him over to your side.
Another thing is, no one will ever threathen you with it again. You made a silly mistake, and it's in the silly past.Tell him and go ahead and have a wonderful life.
again, believe me when i tell you, he will forgive you. I KNOW THIS
If I were u I'd tell him wat happend. It is not as if u were promiscuous or something. It won't be easy but have to. Ur friend no try!
Please linda. I would like to make some coment via your gmail address. Please kindly let me have your mail. meetdlawincourt@gmail.com
What's the big deal, tell him yourself. Don't allow ur friend to do so with salt and pepper added to de story.
Ur friend tosin is the most selfish human being. In a relationship as serious as marriage u shouldn't be hiding anything, u should have told him since. Go ahead and tell him and if he leaves he is a coward. U did nothing wrong that is suppose to hurt him. U didn't cheat.
Tell him the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. If he's ur man he will stand by you, if he's not then he will walk away.
You don't owe him any thing, he did it to ur friend he was paid paid back in same coin. He plotted against u and raped you. You don't owe him anything. Tell ur man the truth. You don't have to be sad no man worth dying for. Be happy tell him the truth. If he wants to stay and fight the battle with u fine, but he doesn't thats good move on and let them be. His cousin broke ur friend's heart you broke his own and he raped u and still want to destroy what u are ua building on. Tell ur man, i know it is not easy but tell him even ur future man needs to know about all these things that happened in your life cause if he finds out from another person u don't have any credit to urself. Gal u have to be happy. A rapist still feeling ontop of the world. By dobis112@gmail.com
Look, tell him yourself before Tosin tells him her inaccurate version of events. Tell him everything, the good the bad and the ugly and how you agreed to do something that led to consequences. I am really sorry..
I tink the best tin u should is to tell ur man b4 anyone does, say the truth and b free if he truly luvs u he will av u dt way bt he will jst b angry dt u shuld av said dis b4 nw. Abt tosin; Lesson one don't tell ur frnds all ur secrets especially female frnds nt bcoz of nw bt d future. If u need more help 08156631343
Hey babe. Let the truth be told. At least if not just because of Tosin. But just to ease your conscience. If he loves you he would understand because it was out of ignorance you did Tosin's revenge, and Tosin would be the one the anger would rise upon
Simple, go tell your fiance, everything, its better he knows and protect you if he chooses to stay or let you go honourably, or find out from Tosin who will definitely add spice to it... Make hay while the Sunshines... You're still on the winning side.
Aimale work nibere oriburuku... My lil cent...
IG:ifeezy
wow... Tosin is a bitch. I'll advice you tell your fiance everything that happened back in school. If he does't believe, then he doesn't deserve you.
Tell the guy about ur experience and if he loves you, he will tell the Tosin to go to hell.
Dear, ur story s really pathetic. I'm sorry. U shd see a therapist if need be. Cud recommend one if u dnt mind. Back to d subject, I think u shd open up to ur fiance and tell him everything. Hold bithing back. Truth is mayb u were naive dts why u agreed to the deal wf 'toisn' but anyone cud ve agreed to that. Wat jide did was more or less evil... if he rili loved u, he wld never ve contemplated doin that. u were just a bait. Anyways open up to him. If he really cares, he wld be by u. This wld put tosin to shame. Take it easy ok.. wats meant for u will never pass u by..
Sorry for your plight but I learnt a log time ago that its stupid to play the revenge game for anyone. At this point, I'll say tell him what happened and let the universe decide. If he's yours he'll stay if not, good riddance!!!
Firstly, i blame you for hiding your past from your man. One thing you fail to know is that if he is meant for you, he will stay regardless of your ordeal. But since d die is cast, you have to make up your mind now, sit him down and tell him everything word for word. It's better he hears from you than from your friend. If he still accepts you, good for you. And if not, move on cos u are not meant to be together. But that is a lesson for you not to keep your past (good or bad) from your partner and trust no friend . I'll pray for u...... Teekay
Pls. Tell him abt it b4 she does so u will knw if. He. Truly luvs u
Oh my dear I feel ur pain, gosh Tosin is vewi wicked y on earth will she do dat to u after what u whnt tru cus of her,I will prefer u tell d guy urslf ok,cus he will understnd u and still marry u if he really loves u.afterall it was not ur fult,she cused everytin
Tell him wat happen back den in school if he truly love u he will continue wit his plan to marry u.
D way som of u reason baffles me. U re jst so so dull. U re d one stupid & not her.
So sorry darling for all you passed through. You have to tell him before she does. The sooner the better. Because if your friend does, she may end up twisting the story
No rape victim rili liks talkin about d xperience. Pls tell ur man,if he truly luvs u he wil stay & damn wateva hapnd in d past.
Dear Linda all this Nollywood stories you and your readers are sharing..... There is GOD oOoooooooo
sometimes we are the cause of our own problems. open up to this guy you love about your past live and experiience, tell him how he gave you another reason to love and tell him the circumstances surrounding your rape, the person who loves you will stand by you and will even love you more. it was not your fault, you did it for your friend and it backfired. it is better you tell him yourself otherwise Tosin will do it and then he will not truest you. you don't have much time, quickly tell him before you accept his proposal that there's something you need to gett off ur chest. simple
TELL HERE TO GO TO HELL\
\\\\
Honesty is d key word dear. Tell him about everything that happened. It wasn't your fault that you were raped. I'm sure if he loves you u have nothing to worry about. I know it won't be easy but it is better to be honest and have a clear conscience than him hearing it from his cousin and I am sure she will spice the story when saying it. This is my candid advise
tell him what happened 2 u in the past.... do not allow tosin 2 b d one 2 break the news 2 him. if he truly loves u, he wil stil stick wif u. i no its heard but my dear u hv 2 put urslf 2geder n tell him, dnt allow tosin 2 du dat cos she wil not tell him exactly how it happened. #DORO CLASSY#
Please don't give that tosin of a girl the satisfaction to tell your man your own story,gosh she is a wicked fellow. How could somebody be that wicked? Make God help her. Please tell your man and don't be scared of what will happen. Tosin is not your God.
the best thing is to tell ur man about it in which dt was meant 2 b d first tin self. seriously I dnt knw y some gals find it hard 2 open up 2 a man who loves u, u shud n if he truly loves u like he said trust me d Tosin gal wud b put 2 shame cos love conquers all its gon b bad if she does tell d guy first u wud seem like a worthless traitor n not a virtuous woman. I wish u luck!
simply tell ur fiance all dat happened in d past,if he truely luvs u he'll stand by u n defend u buh if he walks jus knw he's not d right guy 4 u. somtimes God let tins happened 2 us 4 a reason*hugs*
Don't worry, let her tell. They'll know she put u through it. And if ur Guy is sure of his love for u, dat won't stop him. Fear not jare
GOD bless u delson,dont knw y she can't tell d guy& stop dat idiotic friend of hers frm threatening her,moreover u helped her to revenge,which bible is against,tell d guy& be set free,if he is urs he wld stay& turn Mario thr,if his not GOD sent, move on wiv life,rmbr dat word in dr sid music surulere, it says babaloke lo le se gbogbo kan& oma ya awon Ota lenu.go on gurl.
Hi honey, my name is Eva.
Your story cuts really deep and sincerely i can understand how you feel.
This is such a real Nigerian girl's story and it is a rare gift you have to be able to paint your pictures so clear despite your pain, that a reader connects with you on the deepest of levels.
Now here's the best thing i could ever say to you - Come Clean.
There's nothing to Fear honey. You need to believe this phrase first. Let go. Free yourself. The only person in control here is you. The most important person here is you. Your happiness is all that really matters and you can't come close to that Happy place you deserve if you are letting your legs get trapped in the sinking sands of Fear. And even Baby boy won't be able to make you happy longer term no matter how hard he tried.
Your Happiness begins with you first and you need to take that right back to you Woman!
After such a horrible experience, you have been strong and determined enough to push through Life. You just got a wonderful Telecomms job, you fell in love again and you were 'happy' until now.
If your Creator can forgive you and go on to bless you in such ways, why can't you forgive yourself and Trust that he who started a good work with you would be faithful to its Completion? COMPLETE.
The absense or presense of our beloved baby boy is not what completes you Woman!
Come clean.
Why go into such a precious thing as Marriage carrying heavy duty luggages of pain from past experiences? Your marriage deserves much more than that honey. And maybe, just maybe this is the good Lord trying to help clean up some future mess for you now.
You really want to get married? Come clean please.
The best way to let go so you can have the will to come clean is to Forgive yourself honey.
Stand in front of a full length mirror, stare at yourself, Love every curve that outlines the beautiful features that the Creator molded ever so perfectly for you, Appreciate your body, Appreciate you - Say the words "I Love you" to your reflection repeatedly until they mean something to you. And when they do, you might want to Cry. Oooohhh but you must! Cry!!!! The past and its pain and all the fear it enveloped would like to come out now that you finally Love you and can Forgive yourself. Now even you, can Love another being perfectly! And he would come to you so fast you won't even believe how fast the Lord's delivery service team were with your order!
If this man, who has made you feel such a special thing as Love again after your horrible experience is the one for you, Trust me honey, he would hold on to you so tight your past wouldn't be able to penetrate the bond of his grip on your beautiful body.
He would hold on to you and rock you while you cry as you tell him- Tears resulting from the triumphant cry of joy your Heart would beat out in streams because you have conquered Fear.
He would only do that because he understands. And the Truth is, if he really Loves you enough, he will Understand. His heart is not made of Stone if he can profess love to you- Love that's enough to have asked you to Marry him.
If that Love is good enough for a man, he would put his Happiness first, holding on to you regardless of what his cousin or anyone else thinks of his decision.
But in the sad event that he Judges you and wants out of the relationship, you should let him go. Let him go, peacefully without hate in your heart, without regrets of the future you may have already dreamed with him or the recent past you two have spent trying to create this beautiful thing.
Knowing that the new Joy you have found within you would sustain you till you are ready to create with another who would come, Cause he will!
All my Love,
Eva Alordiah
PS: If you want someone to cry to, contact me. I'd buy you the best 01 Shawarma after that and we could see a movie too! Or watch my Dog sleep. Or anything you want really. God bless you
Serious trouble. Why did you allow her use you? MUMU!!!
Story Story...Seen different versions and variants of these cock and bull in the last 10 years
Gbagahun! Gbagahun!! Gbagahun!!!..Your english is so poor
Let the truth out & don't ruin your relationship with deceit. The truth always prevails, remembers this relationship is special & has to be treated as such. At worse you might break up with your fiance .
Take note that it also depends on how u let d truth out.Since you know you man best. If he truly loves you, he would have to prove it by fighting for your love and you have to be strong regardless of his reaction. By the way how much of his past do you know...? I will suggest that you tell him like a story before revealing the true identity of the girl.
In real relationships tears and joy are permitted to be shared, this is also a true test of his love in good & bad times ... Create a special time for this may be a dinner on a Friday or Saturday night will be perfect . After the story tell him “this is my reality, my story “Also let him know that you did tell him not because of the threat by your old roomie but fairness. A real man should be proud you did tell the truth. Trust me he will fight for you that is if he truely loves you. Pray about it before you tell the truth and God will teach you how best to tell it if he wants the relationship to blossom to a marriage. Cheers
Let the truth out & don't ruin your relationship with deceit. The truth always prevails, remembers this relationship is special & has to be treated as such. At worse you might break up with your fiance .
Take note that it also depends on how u let d truth out.Since you know you man best. If he truly loves you, he would have to prove it by fighting for your love and you have to be strong regardless of his reaction. By the way how much of his past do you know...? I will suggest that you tell him like a story before revealing the true identity of the girl.
In real relationships tears and joy are permitted to be shared, this is also a true test of his love in good & bad times ... Create a special time for this may be a dinner on a Friday or Saturday night will be perfect . After the story tell him “this is my reality, my story “Also let him know that you did tell him not because of the threat by your old roomie but fairness. A real man should be proud you did tell the truth. Trust me he will fight for you that is if he truely loves you. Pray about it before you tell the truth and God will teach you how best to tell it if he wants the relationship to blossom to a marriage. Cheers
Nyc one
nne sorry wat goes around comes around
I'm sorry 4 ur sad story..
To your friend you are a soiled and used slut.
Get over it. Open up to your bf ALL the gory details n leave him . Whatever happens after is a bonus.
tosin is stupid. confide in the guy and tell him the truth so Tosin wont have anything against u again
Between leaving secondary school and getting a G.P in uni., you've had two pregnancies-one aborted another been contemplated for abortion.@ about 17 or 18 you already had an abortion. You're a juvenile murderer-if there's any such term in law. @ 19, you're contemplating a second murder. Imagine your resume. You want advice! Did you get advice on how to undress and throw open your legs before a man? Did you seek advice on how to suck dick? Did you get one on how to absorb the excitement from your nipples been fondled? Rubbish!!!
I see no reason why u can't stay to yourself, must u have a relationship with someone....well, I'll advice u become an Agnostics(Non-believer of love) like me. Love causes people to feel sad, pain, hurt and do unreasonable things most times, so what's the essence loving. My dear sister, let the scenario of the first event always replay in ur head cuz if it doesn't, u just might not know when you'll fall into another 'mess' and this time it'll be an Everlasting Terrible Mess. #Sir_Wyse *25F0709B*
Tosin is an esu (devil) at least now you know, talk to God about it pray for grace if this guy really loves you he'll understand and if he doesn't that's also fine but i will tell you this when Tosin's own happens to her your situation will look like heaven
What on earth are you talking about? Who said anything about frigidity?
Correct response!!
Tell your boyfriend the truth if he really loves you he will stay with you. The truth will set you free
Let her tell, it wasnt your fault you were raped, hence, you shouldnt be branded with the scarlet letter.
Hey dear, first I need you to know and believe that you deserve to be happy despite your past. And your past is just that- YOUR PAST.
Now to the present, you've got to be brave and brace up for whatever it is, but trust me on this, a man who is gonna blame you for being a victim does not deserve to be called "your man".
But you have to apply a lot of wisdom here. The fact that you didnt tell him before the threat of being discovered came does not paint you in a good light. My advice- look for someone maybe a pastor, explain to him and ask him to talk to you fiance for you. Alternatively, take this to God and go ahead and talk to him.
Darling, if he is your man and if he is really right for you he will understand.
As for your friend, well you know the truth about that relationship now. But the fight is not for you. You leave her to God and destiny and I can bet that the future will tell its story.
Be strong
tell your fiance about it
Don't make matters complicated more than it already is. Open up and tell your fiance, if he loves you he will continue if he doesn't he is not for you. Remember the saying "if its meant to be it'll be"
My advise, tell your fiance first. If he understands and still sticks with you then good for him. If he doesn't, then let him go. Someone who would understand and will love you regardless of your past, will come around. If he forgives you after you tell him, kindly be bold enough to approach your friend to tell her to go and tell him. And she also should not forget the part that she was the reason why you went through all that. It will be nice for her to go tell your fiance and discovers he already knows. :)
Dis poor girl was raped by jide n his evil friends who r men n u r sayin it is girls who are heartless?
Tell your fiancée about the rape issue before Tosin will open her mouth. why will you hide such from a man that wants to get married to you.
u shuld tel him urslf, if e truly luvs u he wil 4giv u. e wil be really hurt wn e hears it frm ur x
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