Dear LIB readers: My husband is already cheating 3 weeks after our wedding
From a LIB reader
"I can't talk to anyone. I'm still in shock. I woke up to use the bathroom and my husband's phone was buzzing about 11pm.
He was fast asleep as I picked his phone and saw nude pictures of a girl
named Tolu who lives in Akure. Apparently he has been begging her to
send pictures saying how much he misses her and calling her same pet
names he calls me. I feel like I want a divorce already. I don't think I
can ever let him touch me again. How do I handle or get past this?
Does any one have a cheating husband? Does this get worse? I'm loosing my mind, please advise...
My dear marriage is not what you jump in and jump out... you have to live with it and pray he changes with time. A man who cheats within 3weeks of bn married has bn cheating on u b4 u got married to him but you were too blind to see it or u saw it and shoved it away. So live with it and pray... but always make sure he goes for a test before he sleeps with you or use condom . luvlyaby56@yahoo.com
First thing first, men would always be men. Status ''Married'' never changes a man. Don't get a divorce, simply pray about it. And God would be your strength.
He is not Cheating as your Husband. He was cheating as your BF you were not attentive enough to notice. He is the same man you fell in Love with, nothing has changed. Marriage is for better and for worse. you can only hope it gets better and have at the back of your head that he has sexy women out there so step up your game.
Post this on stella dimoko you'll get good advice there most people on lib are illiterates and will insult you, ask you if you didn't notice he was a cheat when you were courting and tell you to divorce him.
My dad is late now but my parent stayed together for over 40year and I can tell u that till the day my dad die they both love each other 100% but my dad had a girlfriend he was seeing before and after they got married, my mother got to know about it and she packed out of the house to her mother's place...it was after 5days. Her mother said to her am not going to drive u back to him but every mins u spend in my house that other woman is taking your place..and guess what she went back and they stayed together for over 40years...when my dad die even though we were all crying we were still happy cos if my mother die before my dad..my dad will not live to see the next day that is how much he loved her, morethan he loved we the kids.....also I had a guy I was seeing for over two year we broke up 3months later he was married...a day after is wedding he was calling and texting that he want me back but am not a foolish girl to want a man like that...all together I hope u learn from my parent.
Dear, don't over react and don't do anything stupid in anger. If you really care for him, you will know that it is a problem... for any man just 3 weeks into marriage is cheating! I will not go back to the past that u should have known before you married him that he cheats, now see if you can sit him down and have a heart to heart talk, not being aggressive but let him open up to you that he has a problem... and that problem is LUST... which can be overcome by a greater love... of someone who really cares for him who is a friend ready to listen his personal issues that drive him into this. It will not be easy but with prayer, patience and understanding (put yourself in his shoes), you can help him out of it to appreciate you and deliver him from the demon that has possessed him.
My dad is late now but my parent stayed together for over 40year and I can tell u that till the day my dad die they both love each other 100% but my dad had a girlfriend he was seeing before and after they got married, my mother got to know about it and she packed out of the house to her mother's place...it was after 5days. Her mother said to her am not going to drive u back to him but every mins u spend in my house that other woman is taking your place..and guess what she went back and they stayed together for over 40years...when my dad die even though we were all crying we were still happy cos if my mother die before my dad..my dad will not live to see the next day that is how much he loved her, morethan he loved we the kids.....also I had a guy I was seeing for over two year we broke up 3months later he was married...a day after is wedding he was calling and texting that he want me back but am not a foolish girl to want a man like that...all together I hope u learn from my parent.
I understand wat u are passing thru cos I've found myself in almost same situation. All u ave to do is talk 2 ur partner about it, tell him to stop cheating on u, and let him know that if he doesn't change, u will be forced to do same or move out of the marriage.
my sister,dont give up so soon,i suggest u let ur hubby knw u are aware of his infidelity,sit him down and u guys should talk about what he really wants...or re u not satisfying him enuf? if not double ur effort,do evrytin u can to save ur marriage,quitting is not d best option.
it such a pity. i had same experience and it was even our wedding night.now our wedding date mkes me unhappy, still married to him but dnt think i love him anymore,and even after that have seen several things, he keeps begging me, but the wounds still dere. if u have the courage divorce if not you have to find a way to deal wit it. but one thing is certain u will never forget it.and it mite kip happening. u need all ur strength more dan ever now.
WOW!!! This is a pity... babe you need to get your mountain of fire prayers on...but what i always say is a cheater always shows those signs before marriage. Hope it isn't that you saw it and ignored the signs.
Don't loose your mind nor file for a divorce.confront him don't hide the fact that you saw all that on his phone.his reaction will determine your next step.To crown it all;Apply wisdom dear
Sorry,dear. Women need God's grace to stay marrried to the kind of husbands that are available these days. Married people here should be able to advise. May God comfort you.
from the Bible stand point the only basis for divorce is adultery, but since you have not caught him red handed i suggest you still chill and see whats going to happen next try not to be hasty about your decision.Pray on his behalf too
That's what happens when u rush into marriage . The best marriages are those couples that dated for up to 4 -5 yrs or even more so to know him very well bcos guys can b very funny most times . Only God knows d reason y u married him , so carry ur cross . Most girls will c fine guy wit lots of money and the next tin is that they will run to hook d guy after he has given u sweet words. No matter he pretty u r or hw good u r in bed , a man that don't love u truly will still cheat . Look for a man that can sacrifice for u bcos money ain't Everytin . He might even end up givin u a disease . Who even knows if karma is not the reason y u r facing ur problems nw. Anyone that breaks another persons heart will surely get it back in return , mayb it's ur turn . God help you ( 3weeks) chaiiiii. Oloburuku
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My dear,its rily un4tunate o bt honestly,I won't advice U 2 allow Ds cause problems in Ur marriage,@ least nt jst yet. 3wks n Ur husband starts regretn marryin U is a shame,its nt easy bt U av 2 face it n in doin so,let dialogue tk charge. Dnt deprive Ur husband of anytn,its nt convenient bt U av 2 manage Ds situation d best way U can. On d platform of dialogue,I bet U,Ur husband wil b sori. Howeva,U ar sooooo honoured 2 b his wife bcs I wonder were Tolu was wen he tuk U 2 d altar. If she was gud enuf,she wuld av bin his lawfully weded wife,dnt U tnk so? Men ar jst lyk Dt. Women ar beta managers of Ds creature cald MEN. Pls Luv,tk it easy. U wil win Ds battle tru dialogue. GOD BLESS UR MARRIAGE.
Welcome to the club. ..men are serial cheats it doesn't matter if he married u yesterday or 20 years ago..obviously he's been fucking her b4 he married u and unfortunately he still will until he gets tired or do girl moves on..my advice is concentrate on yourself and things that make u happy..A cheating spouse is so toxic gosh. ..
Now im gonna try hard to make myself believe you courted this man for a while before you got married. If you did, then this thing you discovered would have been discovered months ago before u said yes and you two would have talked about it. On the other hand, if u didn't then you have yourself to blame. I'd always say "find romance before you find love" cos a lot of us have bad shit up our sleeves. its just to find someone who can be patient enough to watch dem get rid of their shit, and who can wait for you to get rid of yours.
Is it that you have no elder ones or your husband has no ears? Does he not have a family? This is not for a social site. BTW,it's 'losing' not 'loosing'
Just pray for him to change, that is why you pray seriously when finding a good partner, go for counceling, go for deliverance (u n him) then after your wedding go for another deliverance. The world is full of evil one needs to be careful.
Just talk to him,buh I dnt kw why stupid single and #notreadyformarriage# girls love sending nude pix,I pray my wife to be is not doing such,chukwu biko,chebekwa nwunye mu..
i rily feel for you. . . u have to calm down. let him know u have seen the pictures and let him explain himself. May GOD grant you wisdom to handle dis.
Am really sorry dear, please kindly forgive him and give him another chance, am sure he will make it up to you and be a good husband, that will also make him respect you the more that lady is a devil and she want to destroy your marriage, l wish you a wonderful married life and best of luck
It's a bad feeling to know that someone you love is cheating on you especially when you are faithful. I think you should confront him,let him explain himself then you can decide what to do based on his explanation. Best of luck!
Babe stay put....#nodivorceinannu# they all the same exceptionnel you want à dog😃😃.... Meanwhile, he must have been dating y'all and calling same name. . Time 4 marriage he choosed you doesn't mean he will be loyal... Ana mmu. . Bye
Babe stay put....#nodivorceinannu# they all the same exceptionnel you want à dog😃😃.... Meanwhile, he must have been dating y'all and calling same name. . Time 4 marriage he choosed you doesn't mean he will be loyal... Ana mmu. . Bye
8 months into relationship Man : will u marry me Woman: yes I will , I will , I will She goes ard telling her friends my big boy bf wants to marry me and the friends shout hurray . 3weeks into marriage , u realize uv. Made a mistake . U cry ur eyes out and those same friends will tell u sorry and lafd at ur back.
If u liv him , u turn to a divorcee , if u stay with him , he infects u wit HIV or other diseases or marries another woman or even have children outside d marriage .
Always look b4 u leap , all that glitters is not gold
Poor you...he did not start now to cheat. Even before you married him, he used you to cheat on his former gf. so, dont be surprise, that is his element...Take heart dear, but dont cheat on him....
Oh my dear such a sad story, only 3 weeks? I will advise you to confront him, sit him down and tell him what you know about him and the lady, then listen and hear him to know if he has a regretting spirit of what he did but mind you cheating is in his blood. Is only God that will change him or maybe you forced yourself on him. So think and PRAY
This is nothing sef. Marriage is no longer sacred to people *smh* I know a guy that was sexting with his side chic on the same morning of his wedding. They were all laughing about it and all I could do was sit there and feel sorry for the poor girl that was getting dressed at that moment to meet him in church
my dear,u can always tell God cos he has the best solution,i am not advocating for adulterous men but u must understand that underlying fact about men. we are polygamous in nature.
Hi dear, I know how you feel. At first it feels like you can't deal wiv it and you want out yea dats how I felt wen I had just given birth to my first child after being married for just 6 months. Give him conditions, draw it to his attention that you know what's goin on. Forgive him before you confront him then punish him however you wish , but don't leave cos others want to take dat spot. Nd note its not you, but him. Somewhere in their twisted minds they can do what they want, but it gets better wiv time. It's best you see all you want to see and treat the fuck up early in the marriage than to wake up years later nd find out that you av been leaving wiv a stranger. P.s arrange the matter but don't leav!
Babe, the cheating will continue. i had the same issue and was nonchalant about it. You should confront him with the evidence (forward the sms or bbm to yourself)bcos he will delete it immediately. escalate the issue to all family members!!! Dont be ashamed o
Babes! Ur husband has been "tapping" it before he married you and I believe its way before u married him. If you didn't know or see any signs before then maybe he is a "Smooth Operator". But I highly doubt that he is, u probably let go of the signs and allowed yourself get excited with the marriage idea. Right now u need to do a situation assessment, if its a new habit, its easy to do some talking and maybe elderly or religious counselling but if its an old habit, u need to decide if you can live with it or not!
It is well with you dear. I understand how it feels,however I suggest you seat him up and discuss with him. Ask him sincere questions In calm tone, do not act like you saw something. Ask him how much he loves you and if he had let down the memories of his X.... The response would give you a clue on what went wrong and what can be done. Please be calm,remember he married you and not the other lady. So be calm and prayerfully take charge of your husband. All the best dear.
Madam, calm down. Dat is mariage 4 u. Most naija men cheat. Its now a trend, d earlier u get ursef 2 snap out of, d beta. Plz my dear stop chkin on ur huby nd enjoy ur mariage or else u go die nd d nxt day him go go marry dat girl nd stil cheat on ha again lik he did 2 u.
You need prayers, you need a lot of patience and the wisdom of God. Don't allow a stupid lady outside to break your marriage because that is all she is out for. I will advise you pray very well; then talk to your husband about it in a very cool manner. A male colleague once told me he saw the wife crying and was wondering what the matter was with her. After inquiring, the first question the wife asked him was to tell her if she was not satisfying him in any way in their marriage, in the course of their discussion she revealed to him what she saw. Because she did it in a sober manner, he felt guilty and bad about his infidelity; that made him to stop. You must show your husband you genuinely love him and will not like to loose him. Give him the required support that will make him cut off from the past life. Most men do it but some know how to hide it away from their wives; you will think they are innocent but they are not and this is more dangerous because by the time their wives discover in later years, it breaks them down totally so much that the marriage suffers for it. I will also encourage the two of you to give your lives to Christ. He is the bedrock of marriage, He will supply all the help you need. I wish you well in your marriage.
It is well with you dear. I understand how it feels,however I suggest you seat him up and discuss with him. Ask him sincere questions In calm tone, do not act like you saw something. Ask him how much he loves you and if he had let down the memories of his X.... The response would give you a clue on what went wrong and what can be done. Please be calm,remember he married you and not the other lady. So be calm and prayerfully take charge of your husband. All the best dear.
so many fucking cheating husbands out there ,never accept dy r wrong even after cheating, never ready to apologize n yet beat up their wives cos dy queery them. d decision is urs 2 leave or 2 stay especially whn he is remorseful n apologizes.
My sister, you have to choose to live with it and pray to God to change him.Mine started on our wedding nite and this is our four year he still have not changed but I am still praying to God to change Him. you too can do the same, only that he might contact an STD and transfer it to You.U won't believe that i have not had sex with mu hubby for one year cos i'm so scared of contacting an infection. just pray.
Unhappy marriages are becoming a common thing in Nigeria . Madam go and look for the person you offended because this your problem is not ordinary . Maybe he left a woman that loved him for you or vice versa and the curse has started to manifest
Unhappy marriages are becoming a common thing in Nigeria . Madam go and look for the person you offended because this your problem is not ordinary . Maybe he left a woman that loved him for you or vice versa and the curse has started to manifest
FIRST THINGS FIRST: PRAY FOR HIM AND HER (TOLU) Cheating is one of the most reasonable reason for a spouse to seek divorce, and love becomes irrelevant because cheating partners can result to many further evil things against their spouse including battering and even killing at the height of their obsessions they think is love. God said that stolen water is sweet, but the end is bitterness and a can of worms. As for you, i say confront him and give him a chance to defend himself, the way he goes about it will tell you whether he will stop or its just his way of life. Confront the challenge head on in love and try to save your marriage, it takes bigger courage to forgive cleanly than to simply walk away from your marriage. If you can i say FORGIVE him and give him another chance, i tell you, you will forget this ever happened if he changes.
Hunny if he's cheating this early in the marriage nothing's going to stop him from cheating in future. You have to let him know you'll leave him for good and do go away for a while until he sees what he's lost and comes to his senses. However considering your marriage is fairly new give it time and speak to him about it. Let him know your plans of leaving him if he continues. Let him know time is holding you back from leaving but nothing will stop you if he carries on. I know about men and cheating so i'm speaking from experience.
The truth about it all is he'll probably cheat again if you don't do something about it but you have to remember he loves you more than whoever he's cheating with. You have to get him to have faith in God and God will direct your relationship from there. A man who doesn't fear the word of God should be feared as he'll forever justify the worldly thing he gets up to.
Ur very stupid this Mitch , She should take it easy? Really?. Please Mrs I was going 2 say leave the bitch of a man bt I knw it aint easy. He has always been a cheat. And if u did knw then why did u marry him. Sme men just marry 4 marrying sake. U can leave him if u want 2 or u can cnfrnt him and if he dsnt change after smtime then leave him and by the way don't get pregnant 4 him just yet so leaving will be easy. Sme men do nt deserve 9mnths of ur life 4 u 2 create a child with them -----C21
men will always cheat only that you found out too early. even the stupid gal no sabi say the guy don marry and what the heck is she calling for at 11pm? but make sure you discuss it without raising your voice. God help you. AjP
Bishop Dammy no offence. So cooking and washing will change him? I dnt think soo..this man needs prayers or he should die alone. U can pray 4 him afterall ur a Bishop on LIB :D. And by the way some friends genuinely care 4 u, help n pray 4 u 2. Not everybody is a witch or a hater. ----C21
women are desperate these days just because there is no hope for them. the only solution is polygamy period. otherwise, expect divorce, cheat, single motherhood etc.
Sorry for your plight, firstly I need to ask you some questions.
How old are you and How old is he?
why did two of you get married or what's your reason for getting married.
You didn't do proper homework before getting married, I guess you focused more on the wedding just like so many do these days.
all men and women are not cheats but some are.
The situation before you is the marriage, the work has begun, you have to tackle this issue, but don't ever think any successful marriage is without challenges. some both the man and woman have cheated before, but at some point decided to correct the wrongs and start building their marriage.
Marriage is beautiful but its hard work, so start praying, and learn to become a forgiver 7 times 77 times.
My luv sorry o. I know what your going thru. 11days after my wedding i saw my husband with another girl in his car. Said he was just giving her a lift. But I know how his lifts work. I was crushed at the time. I could have ran away or done something stupid. Thanks God I didn't cause we are really happy now. We are each other best friend.but that's not to say I can say he won't cheat. Men will always cheat except by the grace of God. If you know this then u can make informed decision.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Don't tell us you didn't see the signs before you guys got married? Or maybe you thought marriage will change him…hmmm
Good questions. These women these days think say bcus you don marry them your life is over. To some men their life just dey start o. In your case I think he hasn't gotten to reality that he's really married now, for him to be doing that so soon. He probably married you for some other reasons other than love. Or maybe he loves you but like to fuck other women. Well most men like to fuck any way so I don't know if I'm making sense. But you really need to give him good sex I think o. Find out what he likes in sex. Like positions and other freaky things and tell him what you like also in sex. Welcome to marriage. Who ever told you marriage was easy is a lying ass. You were both brought up from different background and parents so don't expect perfect relationship but make it your goal. Either way you have to be married unless he want to use you for ritual then get the fuck out if that marriage now. I don't know you but it sounds to me like you're one of those girls that like guy man. The truth is guy men love women well well more than normal men. Some will be eating other women pussy while with you in a relationship. That's how much most of them live women. And most women don't like guys that can't open their mouth and speak game to them. You know like play play guys men. Think back how you met him and who introduce you. Should shunt be shocked. Just remember you're not a saint. Don't ever say your husband will never cheat in you. Who are you? Are you God? We humans fail God countless times not to talk of you. Another big secret, the day your man stop truly admiring other women is the day he will stop performing good in bed with you. He can admire but he shouldn't touch. You have to sexually train him to need you more. He might still try to cheat but he won't really like it. Bcus you will be his best. Don't be at home nagging and complaining like a witch. No body is perfect. You will never find a perfect man/husband. If you divorce today bcus he cheated, the next husband might not Ghent as much but has rotten odour from his mouth that you can't stand. There's always something. Do just have in mind just have in mind first that men cheat bcus of single women out their looking like walking candy. You know how you use to look. Lol. Hope for the best and expect the worst
God bless you bishop tho pple mite not agree with u buh u just said the truth. we are all just too lazy. We too dey talk instead of acting(praying). Once again tanks.
You are the one to work things out in your marriage...show understanding and maturity ! If you really love your hubby you won't let go of him to another woman just because of what you saw in his phone. Not letting him touch you won't solve the problem atall. Keep making your hubby happy and continue to pray for him for change. Thanks
Some females are funny. When her nude pictures goes viral, she go don dey cry. No bi rocket science for person to know sey your guy dey cheat before him marry you. Save yourself the headache. He didn't have the guts to put it in your face cos he "respects" you. Pray to have the wisdom to take the right action.
Mutafuker by the name.. Ijanyi Mitch commenting shit, can you speak for your self >>> ALL MEN DON'T CHEAT - NEVER GET THAT NONSENSE INTO YOUR HEAD IF YOU ARE A WOMAN....
It's too early for that. I'd leave if I were you before there are kids and other strong ties. There are faithful men in the world. Give your loyalty to one of them, not this man who can't keep his pants up so soon after marrying.
TO ALL THE PEOPLE COMMENTING HERE ESPECIALLY FEMALES -MARRIED,DATING OR ABOUT TO GET MARRIED WOMEN - TAKE THE LOG OUT OF YOUR OWN EYES BEFORE MAKING COMMENTS ON THIS WOMANS CASE - MOST WOMEN FAIL TO SEE ONE THING - AND AS A MAN I CAN TELL YOU THIS,IF A MAN IS NOT FAITHFUL TO GOD, AND WALKS IN THE FEAR OF GOD -WHY ON EARTH DO YOU THINK HE WILL BE FAITHFUL TO YOU ? -EVEN A MORAL MAN HAS HIS MOMENTS THATS WHY IS SO IMPORTANT TO STUDY YOUR PARTNER WELL BEFORE MARRIAGE,STOP DREAMING ABOUT AN EXPENSIVE LAVISH WEDDING DAY TO IMPRESS PEOPLE WHO WILL CARELESS WHEN YOU START STRUGGLING IN YOUR MARRIAGE- I DO NOT MAKE A BOOST HERE, BUT WILL SAY THIS- I AM MARRIED 4 YEARS ON NOW IN MARRIAGE PLUS 4 YEARS WE DATED TOTAL OF 8YEARS , I HAVE NOT CHEATED ON MY WIFE IN ALL OF THAT TIME , ITS NOT THAT I DONT FACE TEMPTATIONS, FOR A GUY A LOOK GOOD AND YOUNG ENOUGH AND STILL MAKE A HEALTHY INCOME WITH GOOD DISPOSABLE INCOME - I WORK IN BETWEEN LAGOS AND PORT HARCOURT WITH AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF YOUNGAND WILLING WOMEN FOR ANY MAN WHO CHOSE TO CHEAT - BUT I KNOW BETTER - MY FAITH IN CHRIST KEEPS ME,SECONDLY I ALWAYS IMAGINE THAT HOW WILL I FEEL IF MY WIFE CHEATS ? AND LASTLY I KNOW LIFE IS COMPLICATED ENOUGH ALREADY AS IT IS- SLEEPING WITH A WOMAN YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO WILL ONLY TAKE THE COMPLICATIONS IN YOUR LIFE TO A WHOLE NEW DEADLY LEVEL - THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS YOU START AND ITS HARDER TO STOP THAN A CRACK ADDICT GETTING OFF CRACK. SO YOUNG LADY , IN AS MUCH AS WE WOULD SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU AND OTHER FOLKS CALL MAN NAMES, AT THE END OF THE DAY THIS IS YOUR LOT -AND YOU MUST DEAL WITH IT,RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR MARRIAGE IS NOT A GUARANTEE YOU WILL FIND MR (I WILL NOT CHEAT) AND MARRY AGAIN AND THEN LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER - YOU MUST DEAL WITH THIS AND GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT TO MAKE YOUR HOME WORK - DON'T USE HARSH CONFRONTATION BUT FIND OUT WHAT YOUR MAN CRAVES FOR BY HIS DESIRE FOR ANOTHER WOMAN - YOU MUST TALK TO HIM AND SEEK HELP - KEEP PRAYING - KEEP TALKING - I PRAY YOU ,YOUR HUSBAND AND YOUR MARRIAGE PASS THIS STORMS AND SOMEDAY YOU CAN ADVICE YOUNGER WOMEN AND MARRIED COUPLES. I HOPE THIS STORY IS REAL, AND I HOPE YOU FIND SOME HELP HERE BUT YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR ISSUE OFF LIB AND TAKE IT TO THE FOOT OF GOD ( REGARDLESS OF YOUR FAITH)
Is it bcux dat men av choosen nt to brings deir issue on social media, most of d ladies out der are nuttin but a bitch, i know of som ladies dat u wil desire dat thy shud be ur bro wife bcux of the way thy are but my sis, if I tell u dat ladies are more worst dan men
Nigerians are so stupid,ignore his phone ignore his phone,why must there be something on his phone IN THE FIRST PLACE.all dis dogs called men i hate you all FOOLS
Nigerians are so stupid,ignore his phone ignore his phone,why must there be something on his phone IN THE FIRST PLACE.all dis dogs called men i hate you all FOOLS
Dis story reminds me of a lying cheating bastard architect deji adesanmi who wanted to dupe my friend just 2mths after his wedding! He dnt tell my friend he was married,but wen we found out,we showed him hell. Some men are worse dan dogs.
You need to calm down and face the reality. Please note that divorce is not the solution and is completely out of consideration. You need to take some actions. Start to pray and pray hard. When you can comport yourself and be a woman ie cooooool call him and let him know what you saw and demand to know what the problem/s is/are. Discuss to find the way out but you must understand that you need to get dirty with your husband on bed and give him more than before. May God help you.
@ ann 7.47am not all men cheat, like me, hv been married for 10yrs and I never asked any woman out or see any other woman skirt apart frm my Wify. Am also d ot going type not a pastor but a christian
My dearie pls take it easy ooo men are cheat just pray to God to heal ur wound first den pray to God to separate him and that strange women thinking of living him is nt d best ooo ur case is even better nt dat she is ur friend my case was my friend slept wit my man after our wedding I just have to forget it and move on now we are 7years together wit two lovely kids plsssss pray to God as I did and He heard mi am sure He will hear u too Good luck dearie lindodo pls oo pose my comment ooo bcos I know no wetin I do u ooooo
Sorry woman. I can feel your regrets, but please ma'am hold on to your husband. You are the winner. You have him. You are his wife. Never let another woman marry him for you, not even TOLU. God has given you a husband - marry him with all the love you can find, cherish him, treasure him, respect him and be sure he will remain your husband. Never be discouraged. It's just 3 weeks marriage and your husband is yet to grow past his "Boy" phase to "Man" phase. God bless you and give you the strength to carry ON.
Please take several seats. I am a woman, and although I have been cheated on before , I know for a fact that NOT ALL MEN CHEAT. Y'all are the ones that want to remain forever boys and don't want to control yourselves.
My dear hold urself and move on becos if u choose to divorce him, I best u husband number two will be worst than husband number one. so please take a decision weather u want to marry or not because all men are cheats. pele I know how painful this is. this is just the beginning
Well said Hmmmm, been married for 8 years and I had a similar experience. Sis the signs have always been there. Just be calm and don't make a scene. God will grant you wisdom.
Fast forward eight years now, affairs(on both sides) and almost divorcing: we are in a better place. Confronting him will make him restrategize.
August 5, 2014 at 7:47 AM would you just shut up that mouth of yours if you have nothing tangible to say. is it until he brings HIV and AIDS to her before she checks his phone?
August 5, 2014 at 7:54 AM and August 5, 2014 at 9:04 AM both of you should stop spreading lies. you can divorce on adultery and marry again without sinning okay
August 5, 2014 at 9:13 AM this is the useless advice that you see to give abi. a man is cheating on his wife and you say love the man more pet him more respect him more xyz bla bla bla. you best get real and if you don't have any thing plausible to say then shut it.
August 5, 2014 at 9:27 AM is that what you are doing as a man SMDH i pity you.
@Op confront him and tell him you will get a divorce if he doesn't change. marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured especially if he is a cheat cos ones a cheat always a cheat and if you don't want to contact a disease then act now and fast all the best.
I see some people here saying endure cos of the children do you know the effect that has on your children when they grow at all i doubt you guys know. all in the name of remaining MRS somebody you put yourself and your children in emotional stress for the the rest of their lives think again.
Dis is serious, just 3 weeks! Well talk to God sincerely like oda's has advised cos He is d only one who can help u now. Don't share dis wit family nd friends cos dey might mislead u. #bimma#
divorce is not the solution he is not God fearing person before you got married to him so he can not suddenly change you need to device the means to get him totally to your self as you are not the only person in his life before you marry him.
This Bishop of a guy just spoke my mind. You are right Bishop Dammy. I just hope those here would adhere.Serious prayers is the only way forward now. He that hath an ear should hear.
personally, i will not divorce him but will teach him a lesson of you will realise the value of what you have until you loose it. dont divorce stay away from him like 3 months he will come back to his senses, if not , he isnt for you
Ijanyi Mitch not all men cheat.maybe most but not all men cheat. My hubby loves me more than anything in the world and always wants to spend time with me. Mrs new bride...u need to pray and follow your heart. i hope you didnt marry him knowing he was a cheater.
I've never been married before but hearing stories like these make me lose hope of a "cheat-free" marriage. Just like everyone has said, unfortunately I think your husband has been doing this for a while but its just now you're finding out. Your best bet is to talk to him about and also put it to prayer... That said, would you still trust him even if he say's he'll stop? It'll be very hard. But you know, its truly his loss because he's always going to have to prove to you that he deserves you. Give him an ultimatum; This first time was a mistake but if he does it again you're carrying your load and are walking out. He can go an marry his mistress (who he will eventually cheat on as well) So he's the one with the bigger problem. Not you, there are more fish in the sea who will treat you better.
What we have sold Naija women, all in their desperation to be married! See them shouting, all men cheat. See Anon 9:23am saying he is married and he cheats sometimes. Guy, you are a filthy disgrace. It is not easy to overcome temptation but you must do it. Women are sought after everyday but they hold themselves, are they not humans? Naija women, we will keep selling you nonsense coupled with diseases until you wake up to the fact that cheating is not acceptable and should not be acceptable.
Lady, your husband is not a good man. Let him know you are aware of Tolu. Keep your eyes open before he brings diseases, a psycho lover or an extra child into your home. Work hard and make sure you are catered for. Some of these boys are not worth your tears or life.
my advice for you is to start cheating too and let him know how it feels the era of praying and running to God always is over! everyone who get married knows that cheating is bad so i think you should play the same game he is playing so he knows how it feels to be cheated on. Women should being weak and helpless always whenever a man cheats on them.
it's sad..i cheated on my wife. And she hasn't forgiven me. There is no excuse for this. I know I love my dearly but d first month of my marriage she was always nagging me and we fight. I had to find peace outside my home..that's how it started.
Hey Bishop u really made sense there. Many pple won't read it sha cos its just so long..wetin. But iv started praying aiidy sha. Cos dis country na die now
Guess you jes realised.. my dear ur husband was cheating even when u guys were dating! So don't think he never cheated on you before. My dear, save ur self some heartache by avoiding his phones, it wud do you no good! You should also look sexy and attractive for him! If u like stay at home and be tying wrapper. Play ur own part to make him not to cheat! Some men get lust you know... also pray for him.
You are very stupid for making that statement. The day your peace will stop is when your hubby gets infected with an incurable sexual disease and pray he won't pass it to you too. You are one of the reasons why men believe they can keep cheating and it's okay to do so when they are married!
It is too soon to consider a divorce.Be calm and know that you are not alone and depending on how you handle it , things will certainly get better. When you are calm and composed , you ask him about the incident and let him explain. He will probably deny or apologize, then you forgive him and discuss your expectations for a life together and how to forge ahead. He will not change immediately, Rome was not built in one day but both of you will make gradual progress. On the other hand you have to work on yourself,be a good wife,work on the home,pamper him and occupy him so he does not have much reason to look outside. When all that is covered ,you look upwards to Our Almighty Father and gradually things will become beautiful and you will know bliss. Be patient, it is not an overnight happening. Claire
I read all the comments and I understand why a man feels it is ok and his right to cheat. We encourage it,we underststand it,we allow it,we we even expect them to. We excuse their so called weakness and yet woman are referred to as the weaker vessel? How can they ever change,when they are given a free pass. So basically anyone going into a marriage ,goes into it saying I know my man will cheat on me, it is acceptable. And a man goes into the marriage saying I am not expected to be faithful to my wife, as a man it is expected I cheat, my wife should understand when I do cheat but woe betide her if she cheats on me,because she is not allowed not and I am not to understand,as she is to be faithful while I am not. Let us not forget ,that the Lord not only despises divorce but He also says thou shal not commit adultery!
I can't say Doctor Osemu Okpamen is the almighty GOD but he's a GOD on earth. Why i said that is because he helped me to get back my husband that divorced me 3 years back living me hopeless with nothing. I searched for local helps around but nothing good showed up. So, i decided to go into the internet in search of help and i discovered that Doctor Osemu Okpamen was been praised globally for his good works. I decided to get in touch with him for assistance and he prepared a spell for me and assured me that my husband will come back to me within 12 to 16 hours i was skeptical about it but i had no choice than to believe in his words. To my greatest surprise, my husband called me and started pleading that he was coming back home and today, we are living as one big happy family again. Am Tracie Aldana from Kentucky USA and here is my cell number +1270-946-9415. Get in touch with him now if you need any help like getting your love ones back, spell to get pregnant, spell to stop divorce, spell to cure any kind of diseases like Aids, HIV, Anemia, Cancer, E.T.C. Email him now on; Doctorokpamenspelltemple@hotmail.com OR Website: http://doctorokpamenpowerfulspelltemple.webs.com OR what'sapp on +2348135254384 or call on +2349032265990
364 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 364 of 364My dear marriage is not what you jump in and jump out... you have to live with it and pray he changes with time. A man who cheats within 3weeks of bn married has bn cheating on u b4 u got married to him but you were too blind to see it or u saw it and shoved it away. So live with it and pray... but always make sure he goes for a test before he sleeps with you or use condom . luvlyaby56@yahoo.com
First thing first, men would always be men. Status ''Married'' never changes a man. Don't get a divorce, simply pray about it. And God would be your strength.
Shoo....why is this woman surprised? He was always a cheater...and you were blind to it all the while...no be today he start
He is not Cheating as your Husband. He was cheating as your BF you were not attentive enough to notice. He is the same man you fell in Love with, nothing has changed. Marriage is for better and for worse. you can only hope it gets better and have at the back of your head that he has sexy women out there so step up your game.
Please don't lose your mind because you need it most at this point in time.
Just give another chance before you confronting him.
If you caught for 3 times them tell him to his face.
http://italkso.com/
Post this on stella dimoko you'll get good advice there most people on lib are illiterates and will insult you, ask you if you didn't notice he was a cheat when you were courting and tell you to divorce him.
Some men cheat on their wedding day too
U can not leave him, just keep praying for him and talk to a marriage counselor
My dad is late now but my parent stayed together for over 40year and I can tell u that till the day my dad die they both love each other 100% but my dad had a girlfriend he was seeing before and after they got married, my mother got to know about it and she packed out of the house to her mother's place...it was after 5days. Her mother said to her am not going to drive u back to him but every mins u spend in my house that other woman is taking your place..and guess what she went back and they stayed together for over 40years...when my dad die even though we were all crying we were still happy cos if my mother die before my dad..my dad will not live to see the next day that is how much he loved her, morethan he loved we the kids.....also I had a guy I was seeing for over two year we broke up 3months later he was married...a day after is wedding he was calling and texting that he want me back but am not a foolish girl to want a man like that...all together I hope u learn from my parent.
Dear, don't over react and don't do anything stupid in anger. If you really care for him, you will know that it is a problem... for any man just 3 weeks into marriage is cheating! I will not go back to the past that u should have known before you married him that he cheats, now see if you can sit him down and have a heart to heart talk, not being aggressive but let him open up to you that he has a problem... and that problem is LUST... which can be overcome by a greater love... of someone who really cares for him who is a friend ready to listen his personal issues that drive him into this. It will not be easy but with prayer, patience and understanding (put yourself in his shoes), you can help him out of it to appreciate you and deliver him from the demon that has possessed him.
My dad is late now but my parent stayed together for over 40year and I can tell u that till the day my dad die they both love each other 100% but my dad had a girlfriend he was seeing before and after they got married, my mother got to know about it and she packed out of the house to her mother's place...it was after 5days. Her mother said to her am not going to drive u back to him but every mins u spend in my house that other woman is taking your place..and guess what she went back and they stayed together for over 40years...when my dad die even though we were all crying we were still happy cos if my mother die before my dad..my dad will not live to see the next day that is how much he loved her, morethan he loved we the kids.....also I had a guy I was seeing for over two year we broke up 3months later he was married...a day after is wedding he was calling and texting that he want me back but am not a foolish girl to want a man like that...all together I hope u learn from my parent.
Men r wicked..
Maybe he married u out of pity.
I understand wat u are passing thru cos I've found myself in almost same situation. All u ave to do is talk 2 ur partner about it, tell him to stop cheating on u, and let him know that if he doesn't change, u will be forced to do same or move out of the marriage.
my sister,dont give up so soon,i suggest u let ur hubby knw u are aware of his infidelity,sit him down and u guys should talk about what he really wants...or re u not satisfying him enuf? if not double ur effort,do evrytin u can to save ur marriage,quitting is not d best option.
If you reject him,he will still run back to this akure girl,but i think you should help him
it such a pity. i had same experience and it was even our wedding night.now our wedding date mkes me unhappy, still married to him but dnt think i love him anymore,and even after that have seen several things, he keeps begging me, but the wounds still dere. if u have the courage divorce if not you have to find a way to deal wit it. but one thing is certain u will never forget it.and it mite kip happening. u need all ur strength more dan ever now.
WOW!!! This is a pity... babe you need to get your mountain of fire prayers on...but what i always say is a cheater always shows those signs before marriage. Hope it isn't that you saw it and ignored the signs.
u in it forever. till death do u part
Don't loose your mind nor file for a divorce.confront him don't hide the fact that you saw all that on his phone.his reaction will determine your next step.To crown it all;Apply wisdom dear
Marriage is now ajoke. Smh
Wow! U're in deep shit, i dont even knw what to type here...but it will definitely get worse. Pray hard dear.
Sorry,dear.
Women need God's grace to stay marrried to the kind of husbands that are available these days.
Married people here should be able to advise.
May God comfort you.
from the Bible stand point the only basis for divorce is adultery, but since you have not caught him red handed i suggest you still chill and see whats going to happen next try not to be hasty about your decision.Pray on his behalf too
CAPITAL STAY
That's what happens when u rush into marriage . The best marriages are those couples that dated for up to 4 -5 yrs or even more so to know him very well bcos guys can b very funny most times . Only God knows d reason y u married him , so carry ur cross . Most girls will c fine guy wit lots of money and the next tin is that they will run to hook d guy after he has given u sweet words. No matter he pretty u r or hw good u r in bed , a man that don't love u truly will still cheat . Look for a man that can sacrifice for u bcos money ain't Everytin . He might even end up givin u a disease . Who even knows if karma is not the reason y u r facing ur problems nw. Anyone that breaks another persons heart will surely get it back in return , mayb it's ur turn . God help you ( 3weeks) chaiiiii. Oloburuku
You don enter one chance be that....jor oh
One chance moto na im you don enter so!
Maybe you're not giving it to him right lol....get over it girl, shit happens!!!
Lobatan! U nid 2 seek counselling abt dis issue o. Lord knos I fit poison dah kain hubby.
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Divorce him before yet to be born children get involved or he brings you the incurable "gift."
My dear,its rily un4tunate o bt honestly,I won't advice U 2 allow Ds cause problems in Ur marriage,@ least nt jst yet. 3wks n Ur husband starts regretn marryin U is a shame,its nt easy bt U av 2 face it n in doin so,let dialogue tk charge. Dnt deprive Ur husband of anytn,its nt convenient bt U av 2 manage Ds situation d best way U can. On d platform of dialogue,I bet U,Ur husband wil b sori. Howeva,U ar sooooo honoured 2 b his wife bcs I wonder were Tolu was wen he tuk U 2 d altar. If she was gud enuf,she wuld av bin his lawfully weded wife,dnt U tnk so? Men ar jst lyk Dt. Women ar beta managers of Ds creature cald MEN. Pls Luv,tk it easy. U wil win Ds battle tru dialogue. GOD BLESS UR MARRIAGE.
He's been cheating before you guys got married, you just didn't know. My advise: PRAY. Prayer changes things.
DID YOU NOT DATE HIM LONG ENOF TO NOTICE THESE TINS . U GO SEE REAL BOY WEY LOVE U BUT U TALK SAY NA MONEY U WAN CHOP . GIRLS NEVER LEARN
By pos
Divorce!!!!! No way. Talk to him, tell him to his face wat u saw, but neva eva divorce. U think there are better mehn out there? No try am ohh
I caught my hubby oh, newly wedded, I just stop praying 4 him, am focusing on me n my unborn child, n he is feeling it.
Just continue to be the good wife. He married you for a reason. Very soon, he will be on his knees
i can see you have seen what your looking for....take hart dear
Men must show themselves. Smh
Welcome to the club. ..men are serial cheats it doesn't matter if he married u yesterday or 20 years ago..obviously he's been fucking her b4 he married u and unfortunately he still will until he gets tired or do girl moves on..my advice is concentrate on yourself and things that make u happy..A cheating spouse is so toxic gosh. ..
Now im gonna try hard to make myself believe you courted this man for a while before you got married. If you did, then this thing you discovered would have been discovered months ago before u said yes and you two would have talked about it. On the other hand, if u didn't then you have yourself to blame. I'd always say "find romance before you find love" cos a lot of us have bad shit up our sleeves. its just to find someone who can be patient enough to watch dem get rid of their shit, and who can wait for you to get rid of yours.
#Fizz
Is it that you have no elder ones or your husband has no ears? Does he not have a family? This is not for a social site. BTW,it's 'losing' not 'loosing'
Just pray for him to change, that is why you pray seriously when finding a good partner, go for counceling, go for deliverance (u n him) then after your wedding go for another deliverance. The world is full of evil one needs to be careful.
Just talk to him,buh I dnt kw why stupid single and #notreadyformarriage# girls love sending nude pix,I pray my wife to be is not doing such,chukwu biko,chebekwa nwunye mu..
i rily feel for you. . . u have to calm down. let him know u have seen the pictures and let him explain himself. May GOD grant you wisdom to handle dis.
Am really sorry dear, please kindly forgive him and give him another chance, am sure he will make it up to you and be a good husband, that will also make him respect you the more
that lady is a devil and she want to destroy your marriage,
l wish you a wonderful married life and best of luck
It's a bad feeling to know that someone you love is cheating on you especially when you are faithful. I think you should confront him,let him explain himself then you can decide what to do based on his explanation. Best of luck!
Why are men so mean?
Babe stay put....#nodivorceinannu# they all the same exceptionnel you want à dog😃😃.... Meanwhile, he must have been dating y'all and calling same name. . Time 4 marriage he choosed you doesn't mean he will be loyal... Ana mmu. . Bye
Publish my comment Madam
Babe stay put....#nodivorceinannu# they all the same exceptionnel you want à dog😃😃.... Meanwhile, he must have been dating y'all and calling same name. . Time 4 marriage he choosed you doesn't mean he will be loyal... Ana mmu. . Bye
8 months into relationship
Man : will u marry me
Woman: yes I will , I will , I will
She goes ard telling her friends my big boy bf wants to marry me and the friends shout hurray .
3weeks into marriage , u realize uv. Made a mistake . U cry ur eyes out and those same friends will tell u sorry and lafd at ur back.
If u liv him , u turn to a divorcee , if u stay with him , he infects u wit HIV or other diseases or marries another woman or even have children outside d marriage .
Always look b4 u leap , all that glitters is not gold
Remember ur nuptial vow, if any. However confront him and try to hear from him firsthand. But, whatever goes in your home may stay in your home.
How we sure say u no break another guy heart come marry this 1...... Karma is a biatch
once a cheat always a cheat. it gets worst. now it for u to ask urself if u deserve better! he will say sorry and go back cheatx. smh
Poor you...he did not start now to cheat. Even before you married him, he used you to cheat on his former gf. so, dont be surprise, that is his element...Take heart dear, but dont cheat on him....
Oh my dear such a sad story, only 3 weeks? I will advise you to confront him, sit him down and tell him what you know about him and the lady, then listen and hear him to know if he has a regretting spirit of what he did but mind you cheating is in his blood. Is only God that will change him or maybe you forced yourself on him. So think and PRAY
so sad my sis u are experiencing this barely three weeks after your wedding,just take heart and seek the face of God okk
Firstly u dnt go tru ur hubby's fone..it's is in men nature 2cheat.all u nid do is commit ur marraige in Gods hand.shekina
This is nothing sef. Marriage is no longer sacred to people *smh* I know a guy that was sexting with his side chic on the same morning of his wedding. They were all laughing about it and all I could do was sit there and feel sorry for the poor girl that was getting dressed at that moment to meet him in church
my dear,u can always tell God cos he has the best solution,i am not advocating for adulterous men but u must understand that underlying fact about men. we are polygamous in nature.
Hi dear, I know how you feel. At first it feels like you can't deal wiv it and you want out yea dats how I felt wen I had just given birth to my first child after being married for just 6 months. Give him conditions, draw it to his attention that you know what's goin on. Forgive him before you confront him then punish him however you wish , but don't leave cos others want to take dat spot. Nd note its not you, but him. Somewhere in their twisted minds they can do what they want, but it gets better wiv time. It's best you see all you want to see and treat the fuck up early in the marriage than to wake up years later nd find out that you av been leaving wiv a stranger. P.s arrange the matter but don't leav!
WOW!! Its really sad! but i am sure this has been happening longer than the 3weeks.... Sorry dear, but just have to deal with it! It gets worse!
Still too early to get a divorce, obvious u dint marry some1 that loves u, well talk to him and forgive him
Babe, the cheating will continue. i had the same issue and was nonchalant about it. You should confront him with the evidence (forward the sms or bbm to yourself)bcos he will delete it immediately. escalate the issue to all family members!!! Dont be ashamed o
Babes! Ur husband has been "tapping" it before he married you and I believe its way before u married him. If you didn't know or see any signs before then maybe he is a "Smooth Operator". But I highly doubt that he is, u probably let go of the signs and allowed yourself get excited with the marriage idea. Right now u need to do a situation assessment, if its a new habit, its easy to do some talking and maybe elderly or religious counselling but if its an old habit, u need to decide if you can live with it or not!
My dear ur inn try and work out things; divorce is nt d solution now
It is well with you dear.
I understand how it feels,however I suggest you seat him up and discuss with him. Ask him sincere questions In calm tone, do not act like you saw something.
Ask him how much he loves you and if he had let down the memories of his X.... The response would give you a clue on what went wrong and what can be done.
Please be calm,remember he married you and not the other lady. So be calm and prayerfully take charge of your husband.
All the best dear.
Madam, calm down. Dat is mariage 4 u. Most naija men cheat. Its now a trend, d earlier u get ursef 2 snap out of, d beta. Plz my dear stop chkin on ur huby nd enjoy ur mariage or else u go die nd d nxt day him go go marry dat girl nd stil cheat on ha again lik he did 2 u.
You need prayers, you need a lot of patience and the wisdom of God. Don't allow a stupid lady outside to break your marriage because that is all she is out for. I will advise you pray very well; then talk to your husband about it in a very cool manner. A male colleague once told me he saw the wife crying and was wondering what the matter was with her. After inquiring, the first question the wife asked him was to tell her if she was not satisfying him in any way in their marriage, in the course of their discussion she revealed to him what she saw. Because she did it in a sober manner, he felt guilty and bad about his infidelity; that made him to stop. You must show your husband you genuinely love him and will not like to loose him. Give him the required support that will make him cut off from the past life. Most men do it but some know how to hide it away from their wives; you will think they are innocent but they are not and this is more dangerous because by the time their wives discover in later years, it breaks them down totally so much that the marriage suffers for it. I will also encourage the two of you to give your lives to Christ. He is the bedrock of marriage, He will supply all the help you need. I wish you well in your marriage.
It is well with you dear.
I understand how it feels,however I suggest you seat him up and discuss with him. Ask him sincere questions In calm tone, do not act like you saw something.
Ask him how much he loves you and if he had let down the memories of his X.... The response would give you a clue on what went wrong and what can be done.
Please be calm,remember he married you and not the other lady. So be calm and prayerfully take charge of your husband.
All the best dear.
so many fucking cheating husbands out there ,never accept dy r wrong even after cheating, never ready to apologize n yet beat up their wives cos dy queery them.
d decision is urs 2 leave or 2 stay especially whn he is remorseful n apologizes.
My sister, you have to choose to live with it and pray to God to change him.Mine started on our wedding nite and this is our four year he still have not changed but I am still praying to God to change Him. you too can do the same, only that he might contact an STD and transfer it to You.U won't believe that i have not had sex with mu hubby for one year cos i'm so scared of contacting an infection. just pray.
Unhappy marriages are becoming a common thing in Nigeria . Madam go and look for the person you offended because this your problem is not ordinary . Maybe he left a woman that loved him for you or vice versa and the curse has started to manifest
Unhappy marriages are becoming a common thing in Nigeria . Madam go and look for the person you offended because this your problem is not ordinary . Maybe he left a woman that loved him for you or vice versa and the curse has started to manifest
Not all
FIRST THINGS FIRST: PRAY FOR HIM AND HER (TOLU)
Cheating is one of the most reasonable reason for a spouse to seek divorce, and love becomes irrelevant because cheating partners can result to many further evil things against their spouse including battering and even killing at the height of their obsessions they think is love. God said that stolen water is sweet, but the end is bitterness and a can of worms. As for you, i say confront him and give him a chance to defend himself, the way he goes about it will tell you whether he will stop or its just his way of life. Confront the challenge head on in love and try to save your marriage, it takes bigger courage to forgive cleanly than to simply walk away from your marriage. If you can i say FORGIVE him and give him another chance, i tell you, you will forget this ever happened if he changes.
Oh girl! They nor dey swear juju 4 husband o! U'l just die 4 nothing ... lool
Hunny if he's cheating this early in the marriage nothing's going to stop him from cheating in future. You have to let him know you'll leave him for good and do go away for a while until he sees what he's lost and comes to his senses. However considering your marriage is fairly new give it time and speak to him about it. Let him know your plans of leaving him if he continues. Let him know time is holding you back from leaving but nothing will stop you if he carries on. I know about men and cheating so i'm speaking from experience.
The truth about it all is he'll probably cheat again if you don't do something about it but you have to remember he loves you more than whoever he's cheating with. You have to get him to have faith in God and God will direct your relationship from there. A man who doesn't fear the word of God should be feared as he'll forever justify the worldly thing he gets up to.
Ur very stupid this Mitch , She should take it easy? Really?. Please Mrs I was going 2 say leave the bitch of a man bt I knw it aint easy. He has always been a cheat. And if u did knw then why did u marry him. Sme men just marry 4 marrying sake. U can leave him if u want 2 or u can cnfrnt him and if he dsnt change after smtime then leave him and by the way don't get pregnant 4 him just yet so leaving will be easy. Sme men do nt deserve 9mnths of ur life 4 u 2 create a child with them -----C21
men will always cheat only that you found out too early. even the stupid gal no sabi say the guy don marry and what the heck is she calling for at 11pm? but make sure you discuss it without raising your voice. God help you. AjP
Hahahahaha....... u r a mumu
God bless you dear LIB,,,, nice write up !!!!
Bishop Dammy no offence. So cooking and washing will change him? I dnt think soo..this man needs prayers or he should die alone. U can pray 4 him afterall ur a Bishop on LIB :D. And by the way some friends genuinely care 4 u, help n pray 4 u 2. Not everybody is a witch or a hater. ----C21
May God constantly punish men like you forever and ever Amen
Darling is up to u to know what to do. But what grantee do u have that the next husband Ll be better.
women are desperate these days just because there is no hope for them. the only solution is polygamy period. otherwise, expect divorce, cheat, single motherhood etc.
Sorry for your plight, firstly I need to ask you some questions.
How old are you and How old is he?
why did two of you get married or what's your reason for getting married.
You didn't do proper homework before getting married, I guess you focused more on the wedding just like so many do these days.
all men and women are not cheats but some are.
The situation before you is the marriage, the work has begun, you have to tackle this issue, but don't ever think any successful marriage is without challenges. some both the man and woman have cheated before, but at some point decided to correct the wrongs and start building their marriage.
Marriage is beautiful but its hard work, so start praying, and learn to become a forgiver 7 times 77 times.
I wish you all the best.
My luv sorry o. I know what your going thru. 11days after my wedding i saw my husband with another girl in his car. Said he was just giving her a lift. But I know how his lifts work. I was crushed at the time. I could have ran away or done something stupid. Thanks God I didn't cause we are really happy now. We are each other best friend.but that's not to say I can say he won't cheat. Men will always cheat except by the grace of God. If you know this then u can make informed decision.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Don't tell us you didn't see the signs before you guys got married? Or maybe you thought marriage will change him…hmmm
loooo @ Mbanu....SO all of a sudden he started cheating? Hs been in the game. And am sure you've always known too
you can get in touch with me for counselling and some advice.
I†'s Your Fault I Presume. Anyways, Pray Until Something ƍöôϑ Happens. (Linda's Man)
you can get in touch with me for counselling and some advice.
Fool! Not all men are cheats, just as not all ladies are whores!!!
Good questions. These women these days think say bcus you don marry them your life is over. To some men their life just dey start o. In your case I think he hasn't gotten to reality that he's really married now, for him to be doing that so soon. He probably married you for some other reasons other than love. Or maybe he loves you but like to fuck other women. Well most men like to fuck any way so I don't know if I'm making sense. But you really need to give him good sex I think o. Find out what he likes in sex. Like positions and other freaky things and tell him what you like also in sex. Welcome to marriage. Who ever told you marriage was easy is a lying ass. You were both brought up from different background and parents so don't expect perfect relationship but make it your goal. Either way you have to be married unless he want to use you for ritual then get the fuck out if that marriage now. I don't know you but it sounds to me like you're one of those girls that like guy man. The truth is guy men love women well well more than normal men. Some will be eating other women pussy while with you in a relationship. That's how much most of them live women. And most women don't like guys that can't open their mouth and speak game to them. You know like play play guys men. Think back how you met him and who introduce you. Should shunt be shocked. Just remember you're not a saint. Don't ever say your husband will never cheat in you. Who are you? Are you God? We humans fail God countless times not to talk of you. Another big secret, the day your man stop truly admiring other women is the day he will stop performing good in bed with you. He can admire but he shouldn't touch. You have to sexually train him to need you more. He might still try to cheat but he won't really like it. Bcus you will be his best. Don't be at home nagging and complaining like a witch. No body is perfect. You will never find a perfect man/husband. If you divorce today bcus he cheated, the next husband might not Ghent as much but has rotten odour from his mouth that you can't stand. There's always something. Do just have in mind just have in mind first that men cheat bcus of single women out their looking like walking candy. You know how you use to look. Lol. Hope for the best and expect the worst
I dey pray for you....
C.E.O
God bless you bishop tho pple mite not agree with u buh u just said the truth. we are all just too lazy. We too dey talk instead of acting(praying). Once again tanks.
You are the one to work things out in your marriage...show understanding and maturity ! If you really love your hubby you won't let go of him to another woman just because of what you saw in his phone. Not letting him touch you won't solve the problem atall. Keep making your hubby happy and continue to pray for him for change. Thanks
My dear, do three things -
1. Pray
2. Talk
3. Love him more.
Sorry oh.
Plz stay put in ur marriage guess dey hv been dating b4 u come in.
Some females are funny. When her nude pictures goes viral, she go don dey cry. No bi rocket science for person to know sey your guy dey cheat before him marry you. Save yourself the headache. He didn't have the guts to put it in your face cos he "respects" you. Pray to have the wisdom to take the right action.
Mutafuker by the name.. Ijanyi Mitch commenting shit, can you speak for your self >>> ALL MEN DON'T CHEAT - NEVER GET THAT NONSENSE INTO YOUR HEAD IF YOU ARE A WOMAN....
Was just about saying when a man starts cheating. Only very old age or disease can bring him back home
It's too early for that. I'd leave if I were you before there are kids and other strong ties. There are faithful men in the world. Give your loyalty to one of them, not this man who can't keep his pants up so soon after marrying.
TO ALL THE PEOPLE COMMENTING HERE ESPECIALLY FEMALES -MARRIED,DATING OR ABOUT TO GET MARRIED WOMEN - TAKE THE LOG OUT OF YOUR OWN EYES BEFORE MAKING COMMENTS ON THIS WOMANS CASE - MOST WOMEN FAIL TO SEE ONE THING - AND AS A MAN I CAN TELL YOU THIS,IF A MAN IS NOT FAITHFUL TO GOD, AND WALKS IN THE FEAR OF GOD -WHY ON EARTH DO YOU THINK HE WILL BE FAITHFUL TO YOU ? -EVEN A MORAL MAN HAS HIS MOMENTS THATS WHY IS SO IMPORTANT TO STUDY YOUR PARTNER WELL BEFORE MARRIAGE,STOP DREAMING ABOUT AN EXPENSIVE LAVISH WEDDING DAY TO IMPRESS PEOPLE WHO WILL CARELESS WHEN YOU START STRUGGLING IN YOUR MARRIAGE- I DO NOT MAKE A BOOST HERE, BUT WILL SAY THIS- I AM MARRIED 4 YEARS ON NOW IN MARRIAGE PLUS 4 YEARS WE DATED TOTAL OF 8YEARS , I HAVE NOT CHEATED ON MY WIFE IN ALL OF THAT TIME , ITS NOT THAT I DONT FACE TEMPTATIONS, FOR A GUY A LOOK GOOD AND YOUNG ENOUGH AND STILL MAKE A HEALTHY INCOME WITH GOOD DISPOSABLE INCOME - I WORK IN BETWEEN LAGOS AND PORT HARCOURT WITH AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF YOUNGAND WILLING WOMEN FOR ANY MAN WHO CHOSE TO CHEAT - BUT I KNOW BETTER - MY FAITH IN CHRIST KEEPS ME,SECONDLY I ALWAYS IMAGINE THAT HOW WILL I FEEL IF MY WIFE CHEATS ? AND LASTLY I KNOW LIFE IS COMPLICATED ENOUGH ALREADY AS IT IS- SLEEPING WITH A WOMAN YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO WILL ONLY TAKE THE COMPLICATIONS IN YOUR LIFE TO A WHOLE NEW DEADLY LEVEL - THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS YOU START AND ITS HARDER TO STOP THAN A CRACK ADDICT GETTING OFF CRACK. SO YOUNG LADY , IN AS MUCH AS WE WOULD SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU AND OTHER FOLKS CALL MAN NAMES, AT THE END OF THE DAY THIS IS YOUR LOT -AND YOU MUST DEAL WITH IT,RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR MARRIAGE IS NOT A GUARANTEE YOU WILL FIND MR (I WILL NOT CHEAT) AND MARRY AGAIN AND THEN LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER - YOU MUST DEAL WITH THIS AND GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT TO MAKE YOUR HOME WORK - DON'T USE HARSH CONFRONTATION BUT FIND OUT WHAT YOUR MAN CRAVES FOR BY HIS DESIRE FOR ANOTHER WOMAN - YOU MUST TALK TO HIM AND SEEK HELP - KEEP PRAYING - KEEP TALKING - I PRAY YOU ,YOUR HUSBAND AND YOUR MARRIAGE PASS THIS STORMS AND SOMEDAY YOU CAN ADVICE YOUNGER WOMEN AND MARRIED COUPLES. I HOPE THIS STORY IS REAL, AND I HOPE YOU FIND SOME HELP HERE BUT YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR ISSUE OFF LIB AND TAKE IT TO THE FOOT OF GOD ( REGARDLESS OF YOUR FAITH)
Is it bcux dat men av choosen nt to brings deir issue on social media, most of d ladies out der are nuttin but a bitch, i know of som ladies dat u wil desire dat thy shud be ur bro wife bcux of the way thy are but my sis, if I tell u dat ladies are more worst dan men
Are u for real?
Nigerians are so stupid,ignore his phone ignore his phone,why must there be something on his phone IN THE FIRST PLACE.all dis dogs called men i hate you all FOOLS
Nigerians are so stupid,ignore his phone ignore his phone,why must there be something on his phone IN THE FIRST PLACE.all dis dogs called men i hate you all FOOLS
Dis story reminds me of a lying cheating bastard architect deji adesanmi who wanted to dupe my friend just 2mths after his wedding! He dnt tell my friend he was married,but wen we found out,we showed him hell.
Some men are worse dan dogs.
You need to calm down and face the reality. Please note that divorce is not the solution and is completely out of consideration. You need to take some actions. Start to pray and pray hard. When you can comport yourself and be a woman ie cooooool call him and let him know what you saw and demand to know what the problem/s is/are. Discuss to find the way out but you must understand that you need to get dirty with your husband on bed and give him more than before. May God help you.
It is called cheat, illiterate on the run, u done forget flip flop sef...princessa
I think you have serious problems mrs.... 3/4 weeks into your marriage you are already bringing your marital problems to the whole world.
Rubbish and nonsense.... You have little faithfulness and see how you are dirtying your man in public for his wrong.
Abel go jor.... Either you love mercy and forgive or you turn this to an issue that would continually obstruct you.
@ ann 7.47am not all men cheat, like me, hv been married for 10yrs and I never asked any woman out or see any other woman skirt apart frm my Wify. Am also d ot going type not a pastor but a christian
I see
This shows wat the world has turned into...some ppl shud ve been aborted....ur mum shud curse the day she conceived u.
My dearie pls take it easy ooo men are cheat just pray to God to heal ur wound first den pray to God to separate him and that strange women thinking of living him is nt d best ooo ur case is even better nt dat she is ur friend my case was my friend slept wit my man after our wedding I just have to forget it and move on now we are 7years together wit two lovely kids plsssss pray to God as I did and He heard mi am sure He will hear u too Good luck dearie lindodo pls oo pose my comment ooo bcos I know no wetin I do u ooooo
Ahhh! 3 weeks ke? Omo....
Sorry woman. I can feel your regrets, but please ma'am hold on to your husband. You are the winner. You have him. You are his wife. Never let another woman marry him for you, not even TOLU. God has given you a husband - marry him with all the love you can find, cherish him, treasure him, respect him and be sure he will remain your husband. Never be discouraged. It's just 3 weeks marriage and your husband is yet to grow past his "Boy" phase to "Man" phase. God bless you and give you the strength to carry ON.
Yesir. We will try
Learner Originale
Ijanyi Mitch is a cheat, period. Speak for yourself.
Best Comment so far!
U sound deranged.
I love u Em Jay... Hop u aint married??
Please take several seats. I am a woman, and although I have been cheated on before , I know for a fact that NOT ALL MEN CHEAT. Y'all are the ones that want to remain forever boys and don't want to control yourselves.
You are disgusting. if you had nothing helpful to say you should have simply kept quiet.
Wow!how sick are u?God help u
My dear hold urself and move on becos if u choose to divorce him, I best u husband number two will be worst than husband number one. so please take a decision weather u want to marry or not because all men are cheats. pele I know how painful this is. this is just the beginning
Well said Hmmmm, been married for 8 years and I had a similar experience. Sis the signs have always been there. Just be calm and don't make a scene. God will grant you wisdom.
Fast forward eight years now, affairs(on both sides) and almost divorcing: we are in a better place. Confronting him will make him restrategize.
August 5, 2014 at 7:47 AM would you just shut up that mouth of yours if you have nothing tangible to say. is it until he brings HIV and AIDS to her before she checks his phone?
August 5, 2014 at 7:54 AM and August 5, 2014 at 9:04 AM both of you should stop spreading lies. you can divorce on adultery and marry again without sinning okay
August 5, 2014 at 9:13 AM this is the useless advice that you see to give abi. a man is cheating on his wife and you say love the man more pet him more respect him more xyz bla bla bla. you best get real and if you don't have any thing plausible to say then shut it.
August 5, 2014 at 9:27 AM is that what you are doing as a man SMDH i pity you.
@Op confront him and tell him you will get a divorce if he doesn't change. marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured especially if he is a cheat cos ones a cheat always a cheat and if you don't want to contact a disease then act now and fast all the best.
I see some people here saying endure cos of the children do you know the effect that has on your children when they grow at all i doubt you guys know. all in the name of remaining MRS somebody you put yourself and your children in emotional stress for the the rest of their lives think again.
Even this Bishop Dammy wey be general overseer for his church dey cheat talk less ur husband. Mtcheeew!
Dis is serious, just 3 weeks! Well talk to God sincerely like oda's has advised cos He is d only one who can help u now. Don't share dis wit family nd friends cos dey might mislead u. #bimma#
uR a liar!
divorce is not the solution he is not God fearing person before you got married to him so he can not suddenly change you need to device the means to get him totally to your self as you are not the only person in his life before you marry him.
This Bishop of a guy just spoke my mind. You are right Bishop Dammy. I just hope those here would adhere.Serious prayers is the only way forward now. He that hath an ear should hear.
True...am so grabbing dz advice
Can one man have all the qualities a woman desires????
personally, i will not divorce him but will teach him a lesson of you will realise the value of what you have until you loose it. dont divorce stay away from him like 3 months he will come back to his senses, if not , he isnt for you
Ijanyi Mitch not all men cheat.maybe most but not all men cheat. My hubby loves me more than anything in the world and always wants to spend time with me. Mrs new bride...u need to pray and follow your heart. i hope you didnt marry him knowing he was a cheater.
I've never been married before but hearing stories like these make me lose hope of a "cheat-free" marriage. Just like everyone has said, unfortunately I think your husband has been doing this for a while but its just now you're finding out. Your best bet is to talk to him about and also put it to prayer... That said, would you still trust him even if he say's he'll stop? It'll be very hard. But you know, its truly his loss because he's always going to have to prove to you that he deserves you. Give him an ultimatum; This first time was a mistake but if he does it again you're carrying your load and are walking out. He can go an marry his mistress (who he will eventually cheat on as well) So he's the one with the bigger problem. Not you, there are more fish in the sea who will treat you better.
I'll never understand women who thinks men can be faithful...I think females are genetically retarded
What we have sold Naija women, all in their desperation to be married! See them shouting, all men cheat. See Anon 9:23am saying he is married and he cheats sometimes. Guy, you are a filthy disgrace. It is not easy to overcome temptation but you must do it. Women are sought after everyday but they hold themselves, are they not humans? Naija women, we will keep selling you nonsense coupled with diseases until you wake up to the fact that cheating is not acceptable and should not be acceptable.
Lady, your husband is not a good man. Let him know you are aware of Tolu. Keep your eyes open before he brings diseases, a psycho lover or an extra child into your home. Work hard and make sure you are catered for. Some of these boys are not worth your tears or life.
Pretending does not solve the problem madam, when u eventually find out he has a family outside your home, would you still be at peace?
my advice for you is to start cheating too and let him know how it feels the era of praying and running to God always is over! everyone who get married knows that cheating is bad so i think you should play the same game he is playing so he knows how it feels to be cheated on. Women should being weak and helpless always whenever a man cheats on them.
What a retarded mentality @ anonymous 7:41am.
"what you don't know won't hurt you " lmaoo so if he contacts STD it won't hurt you abi another mumu comment. Nigerians must make excuses for nonsense
Pray he doesn't bring home STD u won't be at peace then
it's sad..i cheated on my wife. And she hasn't forgiven me. There is no excuse for this. I know I love my dearly but d first month of my marriage she was always nagging me and we fight. I had to find peace outside my home..that's how it started.
You're a fool for this statement.
Gini bu 'a*shold'?
Hey Bishop u really made sense there. Many pple won't read it sha cos its just so long..wetin. But iv started praying aiidy sha. Cos dis country na die now
Guess you jes realised.. my dear ur husband was cheating even when u guys were dating! So don't think he never cheated on you before. My dear, save ur self some heartache by avoiding his phones, it wud do you no good! You should also look sexy and attractive for him! If u like stay at home and be tying wrapper. Play ur own part to make him not to cheat! Some men get lust you know... also pray for him.
You are very stupid for making that statement. The day your peace will stop is when your hubby gets infected with an incurable sexual disease and pray he won't pass it to you too. You are one of the reasons why men believe they can keep cheating and it's okay to do so when they are married!
This chic u no go kill me! Always on point.
It is too soon to consider a divorce.Be calm and know that you are not alone and depending on how you handle it , things will certainly get better. When you are calm and composed , you ask him about the incident and let him explain. He will probably deny or apologize, then you forgive him and discuss your expectations for a life together and how to forge ahead. He will not change immediately, Rome was not built in one day but both of you will make gradual progress. On the other hand you have to work on yourself,be a good wife,work on the home,pamper him and occupy him so he does not have much reason to look outside. When all that is covered ,you look upwards to Our Almighty Father and gradually things will become beautiful and you will know bliss. Be patient, it is not an overnight happening.
Claire
Polygamy is all I see.
You are an idiot.
I read all the comments and I understand why a man feels it is ok and his right to cheat. We encourage it,we underststand it,we allow it,we we even expect them to. We excuse their so called weakness and yet woman are referred to as the weaker vessel? How can they ever change,when they are given a free pass. So basically anyone going into a marriage ,goes into it saying I know my man will cheat on me, it is acceptable. And a man goes into the marriage saying I am not expected to be faithful to my wife, as a man it is expected I cheat, my wife should understand when I do cheat but woe betide her if she cheats on me,because she is not allowed not and I am not to understand,as she is to be faithful while I am not. Let us not forget ,that the Lord not only despises divorce but He also says thou shal not commit adultery!
Bros u lie big time,u don't generalize pls d fact dat u do cheat does not ur neighbor does.
That's the problem.. People just jump into marriages ingnoring the fact that he's a cheat and hoping he changes after marriage. Smh.
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