Dear LIB readers: How do I break up with someone who has given me her all?
From a male LIB reader
I have been with my girlfriend for nine and a half years. We have been through so much together and the plan was to get married before this year ends. But something happened to me. I met someone else and she made me feel things I didn't know I was capable of feeling. I am madly, and deeply in love with this woman I met only last year November and I have no doubts she's my soul mate and the person I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with. The only problem is the lady who's given me her all for over nine years. I feel guilty leaving her, but should I be with a woman just out of guilt? After nine years, there's nothing new here, nothing exciting anymore. We've lived together, we've had a kid, we've laughed, we've cried, we've fought, we've made money, lost money, the next step was marriage but then I met this woman and she literally stole my heart. I know my girlfriend's friends will laugh at her if I leave her and marry someone else as they have been asking her for years why she hasn't been able to get me to put a ring on her finger, but should stay with her out of pity when my heart is somewhere else? I'm lost!
Please hold on to your gf of 9yrs.im not married but I watched my parents closely and I kw marriage isn't all about love,excitement and adventure.its basically friendship and understanding,how you handle those difficult times(breaking moments)in your relationship,when u no longer feel it with your spouse and how to trigger those feelings back when they go cold and this is where communication comes into play.lastly,talk to God he will guide u because he is the best counsellor
U waited for nine years to realize dat she is not ur soul mate, u r very wicked God will punish u. If u can do dis to ur girlfriend wat makes u tink u will not do same to dis new girl.
The disadvantage of dating for too long after a yr worst case senario 2yrs; It had better be for better or for worse otherwise you are setting yourself up!
Now i kind of believe Linda doesnt make up all this stories. I can link this story to someone i know very very well and nothing at all is different. I wont mention your name but MR O, if this is you, God knows i will personally curse you.
r u an idiot???? which kind of stupid devilish love did u find.... broda start thikin oh...nine yrs is nt a joke... i culd rain down ova a thousand insults on u 4 evn considering leavin ha oh.... u shuld evn chck d oda gal mayb shez usin jazz on u... beta go nd give ur life 2 christ and start prayin abt it
In some societies 6 years or more together as a couple raising children is seen and accepted as COMMON LAW MARRIAGE. Marriage is not about "butterflies in your stomach" feelings 24/7, its about friendship that lasts. Married folks all go through dry spells it just depends on how both are able to keep the excitement going-joint effort! not one person going off and falling for someone else. Ask you folks if they are honest they will tell you it takes a lot of work. First take your eyes (and any other part of your anatomy) away from this other woman, focus on re-building and repairing your existing relationship cos there is a lot at stake and you have a lot invested. Think (with your brain) before you act! would you like your child raised by another man? or away from you? how will she rebuild her life? cos like you mentioned even economically she is tied to you! she has invested in you and your future together. i don't think you'll regret sticking to her in the end. You KNOW the right thing to do quit looking for an excuse not to!!!
hmm...my dear,i hadly post on linda ikeji but ur comment got me attracted. As a man is clear u guys experience things like this everytime but i dont blame u cos is devils work to distroy n seperate u n ur lovely lady and i want to advice people that call u names to stop it cos u only need advice to know wht to do. My dear,when u had nothing n that woman stood by u to struggle n make ends meet,n now u want to leave her for anoda pls tell satan to stay behind u,bear it in mind that is not all that gilters is gold cos they young lady u newly met will disappoint u in future. if that lady dat had a baby for u cant do wht u desire pls teach her n make her be who u wan her to be. life is full of ups n down n no one is perfect. maybe her body might have changed in d sense that she's not as beautiful as she was when u newly met her but i want u to know that this oda lady u newly met now will still look d same way in 9yrs. i advice u to stick on her n ur kid,have mores kids with her cos she's a patience woman n she can make a home better then ur newest luv. Maybe u think she;s not intelligent n vibrant,u can still send her bck to school.pls stick non her n forget this ur new luv ok. i wish u d best !
Why don't you wait anoda nine year to be sure about how you really feel! Work on ur relationship! Life is not a bed of roses. I think the next step for you is to marry the woman who hs stayed with u for nine years.
Stupid man, how could u have thought of leaving her after good 9yrs n think there is somthing missing after giving u happiness for 9yrs of ur life...U only feel lost for ur new gf. u better check urself well.
@Mimi I believe and support you. I met and married my husband in 3 weeks. It's 8 years now and we're a wonderful couple with 4 lovely kids. Chineke Wu key in it all.
So if that was marriage, you heart would still have left to another woman. It means your heart is will always float.The chic even deserves better and your new girlfriend is also in trouble.
you say after 9 years there's nothing new. so probably after another 9years with your so called "soul mate" you will get bored again and move on. you really are selfish and cowardly. keep exploring.
If you dare leave her, after shw has been through thick and thin, I pray that karma doesn't waste time to deal you what you deserve. Believe me, you ll know no peace. Don't get carried away by infatuation!
One thing i can say for sure is this: you would regret living your present girl of 9 years and going after the new one. You still love her, but since you have been with her for so long, the relationship has lost its sparkle and all. You both should rejuvenate the love you once had by doing new things. Go for a holiday together, spend some time alone, talk things out and work things out. I once was in a relationship of 7 years though had no kids. My bf left me so suddenly cos he claimed he no longer loved me. Alas, in just a few months he regretted it and started calling to beg, but you know what? I had moved one. Cut all ties from this new girl and rekindle the love between you and the present girl and marry her real quick. If you lose her, you would regret it all the days of your life, till death!!!
Leave the woman you have been with longer, ur heart isnt in it anymore. A man left me after 12 years I am not dead not married but I look back and thank God we didnt marry and make ourselves miserable. He left me for someone else but the didnt last long
Love is not gratitude. If in his heart he knows he's no longer in love with her, he should release her. He owes her support in caring for the child their union produced. But he should not stay to force the love back or because you're predicting his doom if he leaves. He'll have bad karma if he keeps lying to her, stringing her along knowing he doesn't love her. Good karma comes with honesty. He tells her it's over and does all he can to treat her well after breaking her heart. They'll both get to a better place in their lives for finally admitting the truth instead of living in pretense.
That reason you've not put a ring on her finger will be d same reason you will remain miserable for d rest of your life.And Meanwhile You've had Sex with Her...You're tied to her Spiritually o..dnt be a Fool!!!
All i have to say is that u are the most useless and stupid dude on earth...God will punish u!!! 4 all the single ladies out there, no guy is worth your precious time...
i understand why everyone here is against you. I fully support them but not for the same reason. to string a woman along for 9 years. you cant tell me that 2-3 years into the relationship you did not realise she wasn't the one for so i blame you. but to be objective i as a woman would never marry a man who remains with me out of pity or guilt. Life is hard enough without compounding it with a partner who i don't inspire in him burning unconditional love. So to your 9 1/2 year baby mama i tell her move on your future is brighter
Evil men in Nigeria esp in Lagos. God will judge u after wasting her time for over 9years. @ Apple abeg follow me talk, teach me how to place a curse with my pussy. My EX used d better part of my punani and now he is gone. I need to curse him with my punani & boobs..
What makes u so sure u wnt start feeling the same way with ur new found love after 2years dear? Think it through cus its natural to be excited when new thinks come our way. E no go last darling...
1000 likes. That's how my boyfriend of 31 years would want me to play wife roles. They say if you like it put a ring on it, we've been dating for 2 years and counting o. I'm not freaked about marriage cos I'm in my kid 20s, but it's just that taking up the wifey role without actually being a wife that's quite annoying. Sorry to drift away from the post.
Dear poster, I won't place a curse on you, cos it's not in my place,. But you are very stupid! Why put a woman through such? You think you've found love? I laugh in French.. Your woman of 9 years has put up with your bs for that long, yet stayed around.. This one of just 9 months ain seen nothing (sorry if I'm mixing up numbers but you get my drill) you are truly a foolish man. Go and wash your head, cos it seems like you've been cursed already, and mind you LIBers are adding to your life full of curse already, meaning you can't ever escape or. Lol... Anuofia
So bcos, ders notin new u shud let it go? Dis one dats new will still get old after 9 yrs as well dumbo, come if u don't marry dat girl u'll just mess ur self up, for u to hv been with her for nine yrs both of u must know everything abt ur selves, u now want to go involve ursef with woman wey u no know. Smh act right man, just chop and clean mouth and go back to ur woman and stop being dumb na una dey spoil our name think with ur brain and not ur dick dunce
I think u already know d answer to ur question. Maybe u just want to know if LIBers are jobless and av nothing meaningful to do all day. Pls marry d girl dat's got d kid for u and move on. Ur simply infatuated
guy ur heartless. when u realized that ur love for ur babe wasn't strong at the FIRST FIVE OR THREE YEARS, why didn't u call it off, why wait till after 9years and a son. Karma they say is a bitch. i pity u when u will begin to get the repercussions. #PICCANTO#
Oh well, to think smtng like ds happened to me too recently, only we had no child togeda, words cannot describe hw i felt or wot i went thru during this period. The funny tng is i still prayed nd blessed him evryday even wit d new girl, donno y i cldnt bring myself to hate him, i jst cldnt but thank God, my boo came bck to his senses after abt 6 mnths of no communication, wen i was jst trying to move on with my life nd we r getting married in abt 3-4 mnths time
BEFORE YOU CRUCIFY THE GUY, AM NOT IN SUPPORT OF HIM THOUGH BUT LET US REASON TOGETHER. WHY WOULD U SPEND 9 YEARS WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NOT MARRIED TO YOU? GIRLS PLS DONT BE STUPID, THERE IS NOTHING LIKE NO BEING ABLE TO LIVE WITHOUT ANYONE. YOU CAN DO WITHOUT ANYBODY. BUT THE FACT IS COMMITMENT SHOULD NOT BE BROKEN. IF A MAN CANT MARRY YOU LET HIM GO, DONT KEEP ON HOPING ON WHAT MAY NOT COME
Thank for giving him sumtin to think abt........... New wine indeed tastes sweeter buh a wine dat has had tym to mature in an old skin bag actually tastes better.
You don't break up, what you need at this point is honesty and clarity to make the right decision, it is only advisable you stay with the one that has given you her "All" however, what is going on in your head MIGHT just be fallacy but the chances of it being real and possibly longterm with this other lady are very slim, close to thin. You have a lot of things to think about but to make a decision you need a break from them both, focus on working, a life of you alone for a short while to get your head together. In this other of priority, Think about your child, what future and mental state you are creating for the child, think about the woman that has been with you for 9years, her worth and compare it to the new, what's in the new that you cannot bring into the old to nourish your relationship of 9years, Now think about what your girlfriend of 9years would do, how she would feel and how that will affect your child, will the new wife be a better mother?, Now think about your life , which of these women add value, progress and a better old age for you? Is it just the sex? Men are sexual objects, you will still be horny, you will find other women that are not any of the two women in your life sexually attractive, you will sleep with them till you get it out of your body and you get back to your shit hole state. Think about that too… After you have taken a break and had some alone time.. if you decide to stay with the woman of 9years.. then good for you but you will have to tell the side chick how it is and be honest, the morning before you leave the house to go tell your side chick deuces, tell your girlfriend there is something you would like to tell her and be remorse about it yet still romantic because you have to be understanding and put yourself in her shoes, after you are done with the drama from the side chick and calling it quits then tell your Girlfriend everything and fight to remain with her and it won't be easy, let her see the work you put in trying to earn her trust, you also need to give her time to heal because she will be broken.. Sometimes we do what we don't want to do to live a happy life.. sometimes.. and even if you really don't love your girlfriend anymore it is best to just be with her, endure, when your child is mature - 25-30, if you still feel the same way for the side chick then it's time to play "Win Her Back" again. You are a dude, your sexual needs are greater than your wife's as odd as it sounds even if you will play around don't bring it home and for you not to bring it home you will have to be a good liar, take it far away from home, communicate always and pretend to cover your trails, live double life… which is essentially more stress that what your creator has given you. Be wise, Be smart // I'm just being realistic here, putting bible aside for a sec.
Poster,you are simply lusting after this new girl, this thing u call love will soon disappear and you ll have yourself to blame. you cant tell me that you never loved this woman you you spent nine years caring for, you even have a child with her, better think wisely before you doom yourself.
If you really exist, why does it take you that long to know that she is not meant for you.you have kept her waiting for you all these years only for you to abandon her at the nick of time. It is either you marry her or you find away to seize to exist permanent. If you do otherwise i can assure you of a very bleak future.
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idiot that's all I can say mumu ur are such a shallow minded human I wonder how that woman spent nine years with you and has been unable to see that you are just a dick
YOU ARE MADLY IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW GIRL YOU WENT LAST YEAR BECAUSE YOU HAVENT GONE FAR WITH HER.I BET YOU,YOU WILL FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU ARE FEELING FOR YOUR GIRL FRIEND OF 9 YRS.ONLY TIME WILL TELL. PLS POST MY COMMENT OO LINDA
Pls adjust ur medulla to the right position cos apparently it isnt! For all dat think love is having butterflies in ur tummy, u're on a long thing. U better go n rekindle d fire with the 9yrs gf.......
Well. I have a friend who has been in a relationship for 5 years now, along the line almost 2 years now, her supposed boyfriend who had plans to settle down with her, travelled out to get greener pastures and has refused to come back until he makes it, the girl now in question is just here, hoping for the best, please what is your advice people..,? cos I just feel for her...can't tell her FAITH now...Aunty Linda please post my comment oo...pleaseee
I can't believe I read all the 1000+comments, I must be rich! Man it is not easy to advice someone esp when you dont know the all of the situation. I am a lady , with all you said about the lady she is good n all that .Go on your knees in prayers with her and pray to God mostly becos a child is involved ( love is not always enough o) but so u wont be an ingrate n a wicked being as u have been painted, pls dont make a mistake of leaving your gf without God's consent be sure of His choice for you.Patience, communications, love and God's will make a good relationship last forever.
Chai!! Dia ris God ooo Karma will definitely catch up with u Bcoz 9.5yrs no b moi moi. What if she doesn't survive d shock n heart break?den u r a murderer. Mr man wake up from ur sleep joor. U must marry her just know dat u r in lust with d Nov babe mugu like u. U want to bring problems for ur unborn generations.
guys re so wicked...its not jst today. they re not to be trusted for anything. pls advise for ladies, never involve urself in premarital sex.. guys can be so heartless..i feel so pained ryt nw.
If u feel bored in ur relationship with ur baby mama, find ways 2 rekindle ur love, that woman has lived her life for u, she has given up who she is 4 u, n u r just gonna leave her llike that because u found someone else u think u love, very soon u'll get bored again. Fix ur relationship, make it wat u want it 2 be. D devil u know is better than d angel u think u just met
You just been infatuated by this other girl, if i must tell it is all false feelings which will definetly fade out soon, afterwards your heart will crave for another soulmate, please think with your head and leave emotions out of this now.
somethings are beyond human imagination, may God continue to guide us aright. Remember u cld study law for more than 5yrs and end up bin a banker, they both weren't patient enough before having the kid. if she isn't meant for you, pity her for 9 more years and you WL still end up marrying someone else and wasting more of u guys precious time.
YOu definitely lost it all, and i hope you can trace your steps back to your first love. Because you are getting 20% from the new girl, you want to throw away your joy and happiness. Trading your everlasting peace for crap.
I don't blame you, I blame the lady that stuck with u for 9.5 yrs hoping that someday u wud propose. She's actually the stupid person here! Ladies be wise! If uve bn dating a man for up to 5 yrs and he's not talking marriage, u better run! Some men are time wasters! It's sad that this harsh reality has hit you but my advice to you is to find a way to let her know soon, don't keep wasting her time .... The worst thing you would do is to marry someone out of pity, that marriage may not last. So it's better now than later! It's gonna hurt but would you both enter marriage and be miserable rather than be apart and happy? If u can't break the news to her on ur own, find a close friend to do it! Good luck!
Infatuation and lust wears off quicker than you expect especially when you start inhabiting the same space, sharing bills etc and then add that to the aggro of the wife- yes I said wife, as some marriages don't even last 9 years! and custody and visitation arrangements. Does your new 'soulmate" know? that you are married? Does she know the wrath of God shes inviting upon herself? Go on your knees, ask God for forgiveness, treat your lady right, water the grass in your own garden for it is where it is watered it will grow. I wish you all the best. The fact you are in turmoil and seeking advice about it makes me know you have a bot of a conscience and you know this isn't right
Boink?? So the other lady is not someone with feelings ? She should be used and dumped by him right ? This part of your advice is wrong. He shouldn't *BOINK* the other lady but leave her to find her own man and go mend his current relationship.
You are just a self centered piece of shit. Now you have found your soulmate...what was she all those years? She so doesn't deserve you!!! The devil you know will always be better than the angel you dont know. It is just the devil painting a picture of what is so not real for you. Dont forget temptations abound just before one ties the knot.
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please guy,you need to go for prayers a lot of this bloggers have been cussing you out since, a lot of negative energy around you,nothing to say to you,ladies are at the receiving end she must have heard preachings in the course of this nine years on the danger of sleeping with someone you are not married to,na u sabi
To all you guys out there doing the same thing as this modafuka, including my ex bf. I say a big amen to all d curse ryt here, may it abide with you from generation to generation, may karma serve u for all the pain you put us through and all d endless worthless sacrifice u made us make.
It shall not be well with you, let peace seize to reside in ur spirit and ur home from this day forth!!!!!!!
Please I don't think you should marry this your baby mama cos u clearly don't know her worth at all and u will give her a horrible marriage. So please go so she can find true love and joy. A man that will understand and appreciate her worth.
u shud be very silly 2 have such thought. if u cn b tired wit her after 9 yrs of being ur wife(technically), den wt happns to dis new one afta 3 yrs? pls use ur church mind here.
you said nothing s exciting anymore,pls have you done anithng to spice up ur relationship?or you thnk thats d girls job too?pls try and revive your rel and leave this new girl because ur infatuated and it wont last for long,can u imagine leaving a lady after 9 years and a child,u better feel guilty o and marry her because im sure u still love her ur just being wicked..mshheww "things uve never felt ko" rubbish
I understand your plight, i am a guy and i know what that means. but you know what? You are a thief! You better don't make the mistake of leaving that angel you have already for mere fantasies. Life is all about reality and fantasies are just temporary escapes.
One who gives you steady love in life's harsh realities is incomparable with one who can give you ecstasy now and give you hell later. If something is too good to be true (as you described in your story) then it probably is!
If you go stack-broke or become incapacitated by illness or some other things go wrong you will know the difference between reality and fantasy, better still black and white.
my advise: take your cut off the new babe, you've had enough! Go back to your guardian angel! (NB: it wont be an easy quit - you might see the devil she kept away from you)...#Selah
I understand your plight, i am a guy and i know what that means. but you know what? That amounts to stealing! You better don't make the mistake of leaving that angel you have already for mere fantasies. Life is all about reality and fantasies are just temporary escapes.
One who gives you steady love in life's harsh realities is incomparable with one who can give you ecstasy now and give you hell later. If something is too good to be true (as you described in your story) then it probably is!
If you go stack-broke or become incapacitated by illness or some other things go wrong you will know the difference between reality and fantasy, better still black and white.
my advise: take your cut off the new babe, you've had enough! Go back to your guardian angel! (NB: it wont be an easy quit - you might see the devil she kept away from you)...#Selah
I rarely make comments on issues like this but for you to open your mouth and say you have been together for 9 and half years without putting a ring on it makes you the cruelest guy on earth. And now, you think there is no flavour in your relationship again, chaii....thunder fire you. It would be so much better for you to bring in the missing flavour(s) because obviously, you are the culprit here. She's been with you through thick and thin and this is the way to pay her? With the excuse of "there's nothing new here, nothing exciting anymore"? Who says you won't meet the same in your next proposed relationship? If you love your son and the woman who gave you over 9 years of her life, forget about the "infatuation" and spice up your relationship.
I rarely make comments on issues like this but for you to open your mouth and say you have been together for 9 and half years without putting a ring on it makes you the cruelest guy on earth. And now, you think there is no flavour in your relationship again, chaii....thunder fire you. It would be so much better for you to bring in the missing flavour(s) because obviously, you are the culprit here. She's been with you through thick and thin and this is the way to pay her? With the excuse of "there's nothing new here, nothing exciting anymore"? Who says you won't meet the same in your next proposed relationship? If you love your son and the woman who gave you over 9 years of her life, forget about the "infatuation" and spice up your relationship.
U're a bloody ingrate, and if you don't retrace your steps, you would live to regret this action all the rest of your life. D lady's innocence would judge U.
You are right. I met a guy that cancelled his wedding to a lady he has been with for five years. The moment I heard. I left him . We both got married to different people. I can't stand the conscience lashing. I am very happy with my husband. I pray he finds joy with his wife
Same happened to me...I regret leaving after 5yrs, I'm married to another I thought I was madly in love with and just 1year into the relationship I want out cos it's been really terrible and I now feel nothing.
1,314 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1201 – 1314 of 1314Karma is a bitch...u wld mmet the bitch. Fuck u...FUck u...Fuck u!!!
Please hold on to your gf of 9yrs.im not married but I watched my parents closely and I kw marriage isn't all about love,excitement and adventure.its basically friendship and understanding,how you handle those difficult times(breaking moments)in your relationship,when u no longer feel it with your spouse and how to trigger those feelings back when they go cold and this is where communication comes into play.lastly,talk to God he will guide u because he is the best counsellor
You are a Mad Man
after u have made love with her consisitently for 9 yrs......... more than a 1,000 times chei, chei, there is GOD oooooooo.
Chai Chai there is God ooooooooo. IDIOT STAY WITH YOUR WOMAN. NO ONE IS PERFECT. DONT LET GOD VEX FOR YOU.
OMG, after 9rs of different sacrifices, now u re thinking of letting go. Anyway, God will help u on ur quest, mumu.
The best comment on this issue so far...GOODLUCK EBELE JONATHAN
U waited for nine years to realize dat she is not ur soul mate, u r very wicked God will punish u. If u can do dis to ur girlfriend wat makes u tink u will not do same to dis new girl.
The disadvantage of dating for too long after a yr worst case senario 2yrs; It had better be for better or for worse otherwise you are setting yourself up!
Abeg let me add my two cents.
Thunder fire your head!
Now i kind of believe Linda doesnt make up all this stories. I can link this story to someone i know very very well and nothing at all is different. I wont mention your name but MR O, if this is you, God knows i will personally curse you.
You are so on point with ur comment. I seriously blame the Lady for all these. I hope unmarried ladies ll learn from this. Mscheeeeewwww *pissedoff*
r u an idiot???? which kind of stupid devilish love did u find.... broda start thikin oh...nine yrs is nt a joke... i culd rain down ova a thousand insults on u 4 evn considering leavin ha oh.... u shuld evn chck d oda gal mayb shez usin jazz on u... beta go nd give ur life 2 christ and start prayin abt it
Olori buruku, Olosi....Ako Adiye, Osiye, Odoko...I'm very sorry to curse you.
Am sure if u marry dis new 1 afta 9yrs u wld meet anoda person dat wld make u feel smtin different 2, idiot!!
In some societies 6 years or more together as a couple raising children is seen and accepted as COMMON LAW MARRIAGE. Marriage is not about "butterflies in your stomach" feelings 24/7, its about friendship that lasts. Married folks all go through dry spells it just depends on how both are able to keep the excitement going-joint effort! not one person going off and falling for someone else. Ask you folks if they are honest they will tell you it takes a lot of work. First take your eyes (and any other part of your anatomy) away from this other woman, focus on re-building and repairing your existing relationship cos there is a lot at stake and you have a lot invested. Think (with your brain) before you act! would you like your child raised by another man? or away from you? how will she rebuild her life? cos like you mentioned even economically she is tied to you! she has invested in you and your future together. i don't think you'll regret sticking to her in the end. You KNOW the right thing to do quit looking for an excuse not to!!!
hmm...my dear,i hadly post on linda ikeji but ur comment got me attracted. As a man is clear u guys experience things like this everytime but i dont blame u cos is devils work to distroy n seperate u n ur lovely lady and i want to advice people that call u names to stop it cos u only need advice to know wht to do. My dear,when u had nothing n that woman stood by u to struggle n make ends meet,n now u want to leave her for anoda pls tell satan to stay behind u,bear it in mind that is not all that gilters is gold cos they young lady u newly met will disappoint u in future. if that lady dat had a baby for u cant do wht u desire pls teach her n make her be who u wan her to be. life is full of ups n down n no one is perfect. maybe her body might have changed in d sense that she's not as beautiful as she was when u newly met her but i want u to know that this oda lady u newly met now will still look d same way in 9yrs. i advice u to stick on her n ur kid,have mores kids with her cos she's a patience woman n she can make a home better then ur newest luv. Maybe u think she;s not intelligent n vibrant,u can still send her bck to school.pls stick non her n forget this ur new luv ok. i wish u d best !
Ask your self if u will be able to spend 9yrs with the new lady! Big fool.....Get a life
Why don't you wait anoda nine year to be sure about how you really feel! Work on ur relationship! Life is not a bed of roses. I think the next step for you is to marry the woman who hs stayed with u for nine years.
Egbelekokomiyo in action! Fowl dey refuse corn??? This guy don troway! You are on your own!
Pls o, remain lost. U guys r jst d same.
Stupid man, how could u have thought of leaving her after good 9yrs n think there is somthing missing after giving u happiness for 9yrs of ur life...U only feel lost for ur new gf. u better check urself well.
@Mimi I believe and support you. I met and married my husband in 3 weeks. It's 8 years now and we're a wonderful couple with 4 lovely kids. Chineke Wu key in it all.
So if that was marriage, you heart would still have left to another woman. It means your heart is will always float.The chic even deserves better and your new girlfriend is also in trouble.
you say after 9 years there's nothing new. so probably after another 9years with your so called "soul mate" you will get bored again and move on. you really are selfish and cowardly. keep exploring.
What makes u think that after 9years with the new lady, u wount feel Bored? If u leave dt lady, God have mercy on u.
If you dare leave her, after shw has been through thick and thin, I pray that karma doesn't waste time to deal you what you deserve. Believe me, you ll know no peace. Don't get carried away by infatuation!
Go ahead and kill yourself.
One thing i can say for sure is this: you would regret living your present girl of 9 years and going after the new one. You still love her, but since you have been with her for so long, the relationship has lost its sparkle and all. You both should rejuvenate the love you once had by doing new things. Go for a holiday together, spend some time alone, talk things out and work things out. I once was in a relationship of 7 years though had no kids. My bf left me so suddenly cos he claimed he no longer loved me. Alas, in just a few months he regretted it and started calling to beg, but you know what? I had moved one. Cut all ties from this new girl and rekindle the love between you and the present girl and marry her real quick. If you lose her, you would regret it all the days of your life, till death!!!
My brother you are not stupid or evil. Just a mere human being.
Ever heard of the "80/20 rule"? Your about to leave your 80% for a 20%, Dont!!
Ur certainly not in love, ur just excited about something new, its normal, but foolish to believe its real.
Its 20%, it certainly won't last. Enjoy ur 20 secretly and run back to ur 80 fast and wife that babe.
Trust me! Experience is Speaking!!
Leave the woman you have been with longer, ur heart isnt in it anymore. A man left me after 12 years I am not dead not married but I look back and thank God we didnt marry and make ourselves miserable. He left me for someone else but the didnt last long
U ar jst lusting after the new gurl dnt hurt d one that ve giving u all she got remember dere is karma,,,,,,,
Love your choice of word
i cant even read what people are posting...i just read the first line or first 3/4 words and all i see is curses... people can vex o
Love is not gratitude. If in his heart he knows he's no longer in love with her, he should release her. He owes her support in caring for the child their union produced. But he should not stay to force the love back or because you're predicting his doom if he leaves. He'll have bad karma if he keeps lying to her, stringing her along knowing he doesn't love her. Good karma comes with honesty. He tells her it's over and does all he can to treat her well after breaking her heart. They'll both get to a better place in their lives for finally admitting the truth instead of living in pretense.
That reason you've not put a ring on her finger will be d same reason you will remain miserable for d rest of your life.And Meanwhile You've had Sex with Her...You're tied to her Spiritually o..dnt be a Fool!!!
You are crazy and out of your senses man!
you are a disgrace to us Guys. So you want to ruin the ladies life? May God Punish you if you leave this lady in question.
Anyway, u dont nid a curve because, i bet it with you, this new lady will be a pain in ur ass. I give you 1 year after u marry her. QUOTE ME! LOYS!
All i have to say is that u are the most useless and stupid dude on earth...God will punish u!!! 4 all the single ladies out there, no guy is worth your precious time...
i understand why everyone here is against you. I fully support them but not for the same reason. to string a woman along for 9 years. you cant tell me that 2-3 years into the relationship you did not realise she wasn't the one for so i blame you. but to be objective i as a woman would never marry a man who remains with me out of pity or guilt. Life is hard enough without compounding it with a partner who i don't inspire in him burning unconditional love. So to your 9 1/2 year baby mama i tell her move on your future is brighter
U are jst fuckin foolin ur slf Go 2 heal
Evil men in Nigeria esp in Lagos. God will judge u after wasting her time for over 9years. @ Apple abeg follow me talk, teach me how to place a curse with my pussy. My EX used d better part of my punani and now he is gone. I need to curse him with my punani & boobs..
everything in this world would be against you if you try leaving her, even the air you breath
Pareto's principle says that you are giving up 80% of true happiness for 20% of sparks and infatuation.
Theres a thin line between love and infatuation. You better wake up
What makes u so sure u wnt start feeling the same way with ur new found love after 2years dear? Think it through cus its natural to be excited when new thinks come our way. E no go last darling...
You just met in November. You don't know this new girl well. Its only sweet because she is still new. If you jilt your baby mama, God will punish you.
1000 likes. That's how my boyfriend of 31 years would want me to play wife roles. They say if you like it put a ring on it, we've been dating for 2 years and counting o. I'm not freaked about marriage cos I'm in my kid 20s, but it's just that taking up the wifey role without actually being a wife that's quite annoying. Sorry to drift away from the post.
Dear poster, I won't place a curse on you, cos it's not in my place,. But you are very stupid! Why put a woman through such? You think you've found love? I laugh in French.. Your woman of 9 years has put up with your bs for that long, yet stayed around.. This one of just 9 months ain seen nothing (sorry if I'm mixing up numbers but you get my drill) you are truly a foolish man. Go and wash your head, cos it seems like you've been cursed already, and mind you LIBers are adding to your life full of curse already, meaning you can't ever escape or. Lol... Anuofia
You must be very stupid for even thinking of leaving her for another person. Agbaya, ole, Olee Ojojukokoro. Parkwell joorr
So bcos, ders notin new u shud let it go? Dis one dats new will still get old after 9 yrs as well dumbo, come if u don't marry dat girl u'll just mess ur self up, for u to hv been with her for nine yrs both of u must know everything abt ur selves, u now want to go involve ursef with woman wey u no know. Smh act right man, just chop and clean mouth and go back to ur woman and stop being dumb na una dey spoil our name think with ur brain and not ur dick dunce
I think u already know d answer to ur question. Maybe u just want to know if LIBers are jobless and av nothing meaningful to do all day. Pls marry d girl dat's got d kid for u and move on. Ur simply infatuated
Brother it won't b well with u...
guy ur heartless. when u realized that ur love for ur babe wasn't strong at the FIRST FIVE OR THREE YEARS, why didn't u call it off, why wait till after 9years and a son.
Karma they say is a bitch. i pity u when u will begin to get the repercussions. #PICCANTO#
Oh well, to think smtng like ds happened to me too recently, only we had no child togeda, words cannot describe hw i felt or wot i went thru during this period. The funny tng is i still prayed nd blessed him evryday even wit d new girl, donno y i cldnt bring myself to hate him, i jst cldnt but thank God, my boo came bck to his senses after abt 6 mnths of no communication, wen i was jst trying to move on with my life nd we r getting married in abt 3-4 mnths time
BEFORE YOU CRUCIFY THE GUY, AM NOT IN SUPPORT OF HIM THOUGH BUT LET US REASON TOGETHER. WHY WOULD U SPEND 9 YEARS WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NOT MARRIED TO YOU?
GIRLS PLS DONT BE STUPID, THERE IS NOTHING LIKE NO BEING ABLE TO LIVE WITHOUT ANYONE. YOU CAN DO WITHOUT ANYBODY. BUT THE FACT IS COMMITMENT SHOULD NOT BE BROKEN. IF A MAN CANT MARRY YOU LET HIM GO, DONT KEEP ON HOPING ON WHAT MAY NOT COME
Thank for giving him sumtin to think abt........... New wine indeed tastes sweeter buh a wine dat has had tym to mature in an old skin bag actually tastes better.
You don't break up, what you need at this point is honesty and clarity to make the right decision, it is only advisable you stay with the one that has given you her "All" however, what is going on in your head MIGHT just be fallacy but the chances of it being real and possibly longterm with this other lady are very slim, close to thin. You have a lot of things to think about but to make a decision you need a break from them both, focus on working, a life of you alone for a short while to get your head together. In this other of priority, Think about your child, what future and mental state you are creating for the child, think about the woman that has been with you for 9years, her worth and compare it to the new, what's in the new that you cannot bring into the old to nourish your relationship of 9years, Now think about what your girlfriend of 9years would do, how she would feel and how that will affect your child, will the new wife be a better mother?, Now think about your life , which of these women add value, progress and a better old age for you? Is it just the sex? Men are sexual objects, you will still be horny, you will find other women that are not any of the two women in your life sexually attractive, you will sleep with them till you get it out of your body and you get back to your shit hole state. Think about that too… After you have taken a break and had some alone time.. if you decide to stay with the woman of 9years.. then good for you but you will have to tell the side chick how it is and be honest, the morning before you leave the house to go tell your side chick deuces, tell your girlfriend there is something you would like to tell her and be remorse about it yet still romantic because you have to be understanding and put yourself in her shoes, after you are done with the drama from the side chick and calling it quits then tell your Girlfriend everything and fight to remain with her and it won't be easy, let her see the work you put in trying to earn her trust, you also need to give her time to heal because she will be broken.. Sometimes we do what we don't want to do to live a happy life.. sometimes.. and even if you really don't love your girlfriend anymore it is best to just be with her, endure, when your child is mature - 25-30, if you still feel the same way for the side chick then it's time to play "Win Her Back" again. You are a dude, your sexual needs are greater than your wife's as odd as it sounds even if you will play around don't bring it home and for you not to bring it home you will have to be a good liar, take it far away from home, communicate always and pretend to cover your trails, live double life… which is essentially more stress that what your creator has given you. Be wise, Be smart // I'm just being realistic here, putting bible aside for a sec.
Most of the unmarried ladies are victims of this kind of psycho who thinks he can date a gal for 100years and dump her.
I reject this oo coz i won't have the heart to go through any heartbreak. I Pray mine will be unquenchable love all the way.
OLA LIB
You are lost abi? may you never be found.. By the grace of God that new girl will teach you 'common sense'
Poster,you are simply lusting after this new girl, this thing u call love will soon disappear and you ll have yourself to blame. you cant tell me that you never loved this woman you you spent nine years caring for, you even have a child with her, better think wisely before you doom yourself.
If you really exist, why does it take you that long to know that she is not meant for you.you have kept her waiting for you all these years only for you to abandon her at the nick of time. It is either you marry her or you find away to seize to exist permanent.
If you do otherwise i can assure you of a very bleak future.
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idiot that's all I can say mumu ur are such a shallow minded human I wonder how that woman spent nine years with you and has been unable to see that you are just a dick
YOU ARE MADLY IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW GIRL YOU WENT LAST YEAR BECAUSE YOU HAVENT GONE FAR WITH HER.I BET YOU,YOU WILL FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU ARE FEELING FOR YOUR GIRL FRIEND OF 9 YRS.ONLY TIME WILL TELL. PLS POST MY COMMENT OO LINDA
Pls adjust ur medulla to the right position cos apparently it isnt! For all dat think love is having butterflies in ur tummy, u're on a long thing. U better go n rekindle d fire with the 9yrs gf.......
Thank you for sharing your experience....may God give you beauty for your ashes. Amen.
May God have mercy on u.....@ poster.
Well. I have a friend who has been in a relationship for 5 years now, along the line almost 2 years now, her supposed boyfriend who had plans to settle down with her, travelled out to get greener pastures and has refused to come back until he makes it, the girl now in question is just here, hoping for the best, please what is your advice people..,? cos I just feel for her...can't tell her FAITH now...Aunty Linda please post my comment oo...pleaseee
I can't believe I read all the 1000+comments, I must be rich! Man it is not easy to advice someone esp when you dont know the all of the situation. I am a lady , with all you said about the lady she is good n all that .Go on your knees in prayers with her and pray to God mostly becos a child is involved ( love is not always enough o) but so u wont be an ingrate n a wicked being as u have been painted, pls dont make a mistake of leaving your gf without God's consent be sure of His choice for you.Patience, communications, love and God's will make a good relationship last forever.
Chai!! Dia ris God ooo Karma will definitely catch up with u Bcoz 9.5yrs no b moi moi. What if she doesn't survive d shock n heart break?den u r a murderer. Mr man wake up from ur sleep joor. U must marry her just know dat u r in lust with d Nov babe mugu like u. U want to bring problems for ur unborn generations.
Hello.......what if it was the gehl that said dis? what will be your response? same?
guys re so wicked...its not jst today. they re not to be trusted for anything. pls advise for ladies, never involve urself in premarital sex.. guys can be so heartless..i feel so pained ryt nw.
God will punish you
If u feel bored in ur relationship with ur baby mama, find ways 2 rekindle ur love, that woman has lived her life for u, she has given up who she is 4 u, n u r just gonna leave her llike that because u found someone else u think u love, very soon u'll get bored again. Fix ur relationship, make it wat u want it 2 be. D devil u know is better than d angel u think u just met
You just been infatuated by this other girl, if i must tell it is all false feelings which will definetly fade out soon, afterwards your heart will crave for another soulmate, please think with your head and leave emotions out of this now.
I will rather ask u to stay new girl 4 anoda 9yrs n see if u still ve d same feelings u presently ve towards her. Use ur head!
please cherish your nine year's old love. Life is too short even though you are tired, it will all end one day.
somethings are beyond human imagination, may God continue to guide us aright. Remember u cld study law for more than 5yrs and end up bin a banker, they both weren't patient enough before having the kid. if she isn't meant for you, pity her for 9 more years and you WL still end up marrying someone else and wasting more of u guys precious time.
God bless you
YOu definitely lost it all, and i hope you can trace your steps back to your first love. Because you are getting 20% from the new girl, you want to throw away your joy and happiness. Trading your everlasting peace for crap.
I pray God direct you before it is too late.
Best of luck
I don't blame you, I blame the lady that stuck with u for 9.5 yrs hoping that someday u wud propose. She's actually the stupid person here! Ladies be wise! If uve bn dating a man for up to 5 yrs and he's not talking marriage, u better run! Some men are time wasters! It's sad that this harsh reality has hit you but my advice to you is to find a way to let her know soon, don't keep wasting her time .... The worst thing you would do is to marry someone out of pity, that marriage may not last. So it's better now than later! It's gonna hurt but would you both enter marriage and be miserable rather than be apart and happy? If u can't break the news to her on ur own, find a close friend to do it! Good luck!
Please teach me ooooo. I want to learn. Linda why are you not posting my comment?
Infatuation and lust wears off quicker than you expect especially when you start inhabiting the same space, sharing bills etc and then add that to the aggro of the wife- yes I said wife, as some marriages don't even last 9 years! and custody and visitation arrangements.
Does your new 'soulmate" know? that you are married? Does she know the wrath of God shes inviting upon herself? Go on your knees, ask God for forgiveness, treat your lady right, water the grass in your own garden for it is where it is watered it will grow. I wish you all the best. The fact you are in turmoil and seeking advice about it makes me know you have a bot of a conscience and you know this isn't right
Boink??
So the other lady is not someone with feelings ? She should be used and dumped by him right ? This part of your advice is wrong. He shouldn't *BOINK* the other lady but leave her to find her own man and go mend his current relationship.
Have you heard of nemesis? retributive justice? Cama? Leave her and then you and your new wife will experience all of that....
AMEN ;!!!
Good job my man
You are just a self centered piece of shit. Now you have found your soulmate...what was she all those years? She so doesn't deserve you!!! The devil you know will always be better than the angel you dont know. It is just the devil painting a picture of what is so not real for you. Dont forget temptations abound just before one ties the knot.
Abeg who get Alcatel phone charger?
And nine years from now you will meet another woman who will steal your heart again, you don't even deserve your baby mama.
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please guy,you need to go for prayers a lot of this bloggers have been cussing you out since, a lot of negative energy around you,nothing to say to you,ladies are at the receiving end she must have heard preachings in the course of this nine years on the danger of sleeping with someone you are not married to,na u sabi
To all you guys out there doing the same thing as this modafuka, including my ex bf. I say a big amen to all d curse ryt here, may it abide with you from generation to generation, may karma serve u for all the pain you put us through and all d endless worthless sacrifice u made us make.
It shall not be well with you, let peace seize to reside in ur spirit and ur home from this day forth!!!!!!!
Follow your heart
dude think deep
Please I don't think you should marry this your baby mama cos u clearly don't know her worth at all and u will give her a horrible marriage. So please go so she can find true love and joy. A man that will understand and appreciate her worth.
u shud be very silly 2 have such thought. if u cn b tired wit her after 9 yrs of being ur wife(technically), den wt happns to dis new one afta 3 yrs? pls use ur church mind here.
if you are man enough you should know what to do... in fact, you are not serious...
oga face your wife o.
wicked asshole
you said nothing s exciting anymore,pls have you done anithng to spice up ur relationship?or you thnk thats d girls job too?pls try and revive your rel and leave this new girl because ur infatuated and it wont last for long,can u imagine leaving a lady after 9 years and a child,u better feel guilty o and marry her because im sure u still love her ur just being wicked..mshheww
"things uve never felt ko" rubbish
Mr/Mrs SheiFunmi....Never put God's word aside for any reason. God is the author and the finisher.
I understand your plight, i am a guy and i know what that means. but you know what? You are a thief! You better don't make the mistake of leaving that angel you have already for mere fantasies. Life is all about reality and fantasies are just temporary escapes.
One who gives you steady love in life's harsh realities is incomparable with one who can give you ecstasy now and give you hell later. If something is too good to be true (as you described in your story) then it probably is!
If you go stack-broke or become incapacitated by illness or some other things go wrong you will know the difference between reality and fantasy, better still black and white.
my advise: take your cut off the new babe, you've had enough! Go back to your guardian angel! (NB: it wont be an easy quit - you might see the devil she kept away from you)...#Selah
I understand your plight, i am a guy and i know what that means. but you know what? That amounts to stealing! You better don't make the mistake of leaving that angel you have already for mere fantasies. Life is all about reality and fantasies are just temporary escapes.
One who gives you steady love in life's harsh realities is incomparable with one who can give you ecstasy now and give you hell later. If something is too good to be true (as you described in your story) then it probably is!
If you go stack-broke or become incapacitated by illness or some other things go wrong you will know the difference between reality and fantasy, better still black and white.
my advise: take your cut off the new babe, you've had enough! Go back to your guardian angel! (NB: it wont be an easy quit - you might see the devil she kept away from you)...#Selah
@ post pls go for your mind 9 years relationship can be brought down in just a day so if your @ goes with her...
I rarely make comments on issues like this but for you to open your mouth and say you have been together for 9 and half years without putting a ring on it makes you the cruelest guy on earth. And now, you think there is no flavour in your relationship again, chaii....thunder fire you. It would be so much better for you to bring in the missing flavour(s) because obviously, you are the culprit here. She's been with you through thick and thin and this is the way to pay her? With the excuse of "there's nothing new here, nothing exciting anymore"? Who says you won't meet the same in your next proposed relationship? If you love your son and the woman who gave you over 9 years of her life, forget about the "infatuation" and spice up your relationship.
I rarely make comments on issues like this but for you to open your mouth and say you have been together for 9 and half years without putting a ring on it makes you the cruelest guy on earth. And now, you think there is no flavour in your relationship again, chaii....thunder fire you. It would be so much better for you to bring in the missing flavour(s) because obviously, you are the culprit here. She's been with you through thick and thin and this is the way to pay her? With the excuse of "there's nothing new here, nothing exciting anymore"? Who says you won't meet the same in your next proposed relationship? If you love your son and the woman who gave you over 9 years of her life, forget about the "infatuation" and spice up your relationship.
U're a bloody ingrate, and if you don't retrace your steps, you would live to regret this action all the rest of your life. D lady's innocence would judge U.
lmao...Just don't forget to draw her a pension plan tho! smh
Marry your 9years gf..fuck the november gal.its jes a mirage.face reality man
MEHN YOUR FAMILY ALTER IS STRONG AND CALLING YOU FOR DISTRUCTION. SEEK DIVINE DIRECTION NOW MORE THAN EVER.
MEHN YOUR FAMILY ALTER IS STRONG AND CALLING YOU FOR DISTRUCTION. SEEK DIVINE DIRECTION NOW MORE THAN EVER.
You are right. I met a guy that cancelled his wedding to a lady he has been with for five years. The moment I heard. I left him . We both got married to different people. I can't stand the conscience lashing. I am very happy with my husband. I pray he finds joy with his wife
FUCK YOU!
If i know that first lady personally, i will simply tell her"poison him, am sure God will understand "mad man
Same happened to me...I regret leaving after 5yrs, I'm married to another I thought I was madly in love with and just 1year into the relationship I want out cos it's been really terrible and I now feel nothing.
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