Corper wee | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

LI_Leaderboard_4

LI_Leaderboard_1

LI_Leaderboard_2

LI_Leaderboard_3

Thursday, 22 May 2014

Corper wee

Written by Livecashless customer...
Getting posted to the north came as a big surprise to me because I thought I had put everything in place to ensure I was posted to Lagos. Nike, Tunji, Emeka, Dotun and the rest of them were all posted to Lagos, why me!!! Why did they send me here? Anyway I have to serve my country. I arrived camp late in the night and it wasn’t as bad as I expected. There were civilized people in this part of the country and camp was even better. A lot of pretty ladies and in little time I got myself acquainted with as many as I could. Zara was a bit different, she was calm, collected and the most fascinating thing about her was the fact that she could fix electrical things, how cool is that! 3 weeks rolled by and we were set to leave camp, Zara and I were posted to the same community but to different schools, we had a corpers lodge and that’s where we stayed. We were like husband and wife because we did everything for each other. She would help me fix my spoilt electrical appliances and in return I would help her with water. After about 3 weeks in our new PPA, we ran out of cash.
All I had was N30 and she had N75 and absolutely NOTHING in our bank accounts. *see gobe* I thought to myself. It was 11am on a bright Saturday morning, we would have to wait till Monday morning before we could be sent money ….”you’re good with fixing things, fix this hunger in my stomach before I faint o”I said to Zara. She laughed so hard her phone dropped on the floor. That was a simple joke I racked to lighten our mood. She dusted her phone and moved some feet away from me. I could only see her mouth moving but couldn’t hear her conversation over the phone….after about 3 minutes she beckoned at me and said “let’s go, you this hungry boy”. 
We put the money together and boarded a tricycle and after walking for about 10 minutes we got to magrelos a fast food with more meal on their menu than customers. It’s a hungry man’s haven. I would have been happy if that was our destination, I could smell their freshly baked bread from across the road and it all just increased the activity of the worms in my stomach, the hunger just doubled. She crossed the road and I followed, opened the door of the eatery and that was where I refused to enter. Zara we both know we’re broke, what are we doing here? I asked .  Just follow me joor she said. When she started ordering was when I started shaking, I can’t wash plates to settle my debts o I thought. At that moment the waiter asked what I wanted and I started to stammer. Zara laughed her heart out because she knew my fears, she handed over her bank cards and my heart sank, the POS printed a receipt to my surprise, but but…how did that happen?  After gouging myself with fried rice, grilled chicken and salad then ordered extra take away for later consumption, guilt started to set in and I was forced to ask “how did you do all this” Her dad had transferred funds to her account and she paid for all the food using POS. What a wonderful way to learn about instant transfers, over lunch with my super hero friend.

Click here to learn more about instant payment livecashlessng.com/?p=30

112 comments:

Alloy Chikezie said...

I wouldn't wish anybody to go serve in the north


Your comment will be visible after approval

wilheminna moses said...

Really got me there......was reading and rushing to get to d concluding part....lmao! But i aint clicking any link tnx. Nice story though.

Peejay said...

Hahaha, close shave, enough plate washing. Nice story though.

Anonymous said...

LMAO.....chei Linda what is this biko.... You Go fear story na. Cool way of sensitizing though

precious presh said...

So this is even an advert.....

plenty money said...

Yet you will still break her heart. You sound like a gold digger.

Anonymous said...

Arrrrrhgggggggggggggghhhh, wasted 60secs of my life on this??

NaijaGist (PIN---26BAAF84) said...

Stories dat touch

bonita bislam said...

Jeeeeeeeez! Linda you got me there.So this was all an advert? ROTFL

Obinna onuorah said...

Fascinating story

Zenki Moye Brown said...

menh u caught my attention..... nice onee. copa we we weeeeeeeee, wa wa waaaaaa.... obeying da clarion call

pricelessprincess said...

linda..eeeeeee SMH at you,u made me waste my time reading this crap.hissssssssssss

Anonymous said...

Linda whatsup u nahh!! I was just reading with all concentration, hoping to get to the very exciting part of the story. Mtcheww

OJAI baby said...

Ojai says" hahahahahahahahahahehehehe, Linda, I love this, atleast once in a while, u drop in a humorous writeup like this, to relax our nerves after reading all the news in this world. More of it, biko

Naina said...

Anyone need my nude pic ....hit mai name

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! this one na story abeg.

pricelessprincess said...

linda..eeeeeee SMH at you,u made me waste my time reading this crap.hissssssssssss

@edDREAMZ said...

Lmao... This is so damn funny... Nice advertising technique no doubt....
.
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

Cagey Berry said...

Interesting story.. good advert. This story really caught me. Lol

Anonymous said...

I hate u linda for making me read this

Anonymous said...

so I had to read dis long story in order
to know abt POS....smh....all na strategy




cutest-love cutest said...

Hmmmmmmmmm what an advert.

jim gerald said...

lol, these pos guys are mad, hahaha they just wanted my attention and they succeeded cos I read to the last, cool ad concept! kudos guys

Rita Usman said...

So funny but cool and enlightened

Lloyd said...

Lindy you're high ....Lol ..

Louis Obiora said...

Lol, nice concept!

APHRODITE said...

Lwkmd!!! Nd I tot its another heartbreaking love story, lol. Good one linda!

Anonymous said...

rubish

Anonymous said...

I thought there was a sex story here sef.

Unwana Johnson said...

I just love coppers.

Anonymous said...

Wow, what a write up

Angie Cape said...

Hahahaha. .... Corpet weee!!

*My R1.50c comment *

Angie Cape said...

Hahahaha. .... Corper weee!!

*My R1.50c comment *

Unwana Johnson said...

kudos to the coppers o.

I will recommend this site to all the coppers and other, due to the unemployment rate in Nigeria.
Surf Bisthoughts for more about business.

Anonymous said...

hmmmmmmmmm!
ladies always saving some dude ass back in those days in school, i actually fed some dude i can remember not 1 not 2.

better days ahead, hope u marry her if she still single at the time u are made?


via official intercom

bbm 7439955a said...

North now sounds like hell or death. Why?. It wasn't like this. They need to ask God to forgive and wash their land.. ENGR Emy

motunrayo olaide said...

Interesting....

Anonymous said...

WHAT A LOVELY WAY TO ADVERTISE
UR TOO GUD.CHAI. ABEG LINDA I DEY POST MY COMMENT O CAUSE I DEY ALWAYS COMMENT ON UR BLOG BUT U NO DEY POST Y NA.MAKE U NNO SAY THERIZ GOD O EHEHN

Anonymous said...

chai linda i dunno but i feel like i just wasted my tym reading dis story

Anonymous said...

linda pls tell rivers state to pay her corpers their state allawee. haba!!! oil state for that matter. after 2 years of NYSC no state allawee, we work for free ni? even my local state pays coppers.


via official intercom

Anonymous said...

marketing strategy

Truthfulness pays said...

All this long story for POS and transfer? Ok oh!














Truthfulness pays!

Anonymous said...

long hiss...what a super story u just shared now linda

Eugenia Ekeji said...

Wow. Nice one.

NkiruFatimaOla! said...

thank God i thought he was in trouble Ooooo whn i started reading the article lol is funny sha,but be careful Oooo to avoid using ur head to pay for the hunger.anyway nice advert!

Anonymous said...

LINDA, PLS 4 OUR SAKE ABEG, I KNW SAY U DEY EARN MONI 4 AM BT PLS, DIS CLOSE UP TOOTHPASTE MOUSE THING IS ANNOYING! PLS REMOVE IT, IT MAKES CLICKING AN ICON PROBLEMATIC...MINWHILE, SEE LUV IN CHIBOK *LWTMB*...GOD BLESS NIGERIA

Peter Dada said...

Ok! D write up though!



#Pesty

abisoye ologbenla said...

Rubbish

Anonymous said...

Hehe nice one there! When i saw north i thought it'ld have a sad ending but this helped to lighten my mood coz iv been terribly devastated since the jos bombing. Great job

Anonymous said...

seriously dude...are u for real? who doesnt do transfers and pay with POS these days....stupid gist

Anonymous said...

Nonsense. Was actually waiting for d climax. Maybe boko things or heart break or pregnancy.
/reina

Tovia babe said...

Nice one! Otondo

Anonymous said...

FUCK OFF!!!

Anonymous said...

mtchewww, so na advert sef??

Queez said...

Very annoying way to advertise...
I was actually enjoyin d story til I got 2 d end part... rili nt nice...

Anonymous said...

lol you can't live cashless... even in the western world some shops do not have POS more or less our dear Naija... Be real... just tell us when we want to make big business transaction that require alot of money we should transfer online for safety but for day to day living you can't live cashless because that woman that sells pepper in yaba market lagos does not own a POS and the guy that sells cloths in PH have no idea what POS means... the hausa man that sells burukutu sorry for my spelling don't even know what POS is. so people be real.

Anonymous said...

Her father did(?) That's fine!

niffyt said...

For the 1st time a genius post on lib

Anonymous said...

I LAUGH COME TOP AM WITH TEARS =LAUGHCRYING.THIS PERSON U NO GO KILL ME .YOU TRY .

bizzy bright said...

hmmmm instant payment, it sounds cool.

Hismajesty said...

This long story all for POS and instant transfer? God ..! I'm so angry right now. i read this long thing just ti find out it's all about instant transfer....linda u no try oooo

Anonymous said...

Yah. Advanced technology at work. Hahaha hungry 4 show una pepe

Debbie Chelsea said...

Lolz...nice

Anonymous said...

waoh wht a gud way of making an advert. at first i was expecting a sad story of sort bt i smiled atlast.

Anonymous said...

Even my heart was beating, good one lindiway.So refreshing, from all dat is happening #sad face#

Anonymous said...

Loool..nice..its ma b.day............#King

MECURY said...

So what's d meaning of all this long story?

MECURY said...

So what's d point for this long story ?Mtchewwwww

MADEMOISELLE said...

Hahahahahahahaha and I thought the story was leading to something else lol,,nice one..I think u should encourage short stories like this from libers, u would be shocked at the number of talented writers u have on LIB..

Idi said...

linda are U 4real? tot d ending wud at least make sense... who doesn't knw bout POS & instant transfers??? Na wa!

Anonymous said...

Storyyyyy storyyyy!

Okoro said...

Haha...Nicest one!

Steve said...

Nice one. Kept me in suspense !!

Anonymous said...

Very good example of Content Marketing.

wilheminna moses said...

Nawooh! So mecury u didn't see anytin after d story? Eyaa. Ndo oh

Bbg Eze said...

Wot an anticlimax

Anonymous said...

Nice idea. U try!

Rasaq Adeesa said...

lolsssss, i tot its boko story, nice story

Anonymous said...

Lol.....Linda u no go kill person with laugh....

SpringIcon said...

Shai! Shai!! Linda there is god oh, there is god ooooooh. U got us real gud. Suspense I call it

Anonymous said...

Not a waste of time reading this,it's worth it.I actually served in Sokoto in 2011/2012,and it seemed so peaceful though.But with the current security situation in the country,i wouldn't wish any body to serve in any Northern part,be it North central or wherever,cos even my Cool J-town isn't cool anymore.It's now a war zone.

Anonymous said...

Lol, nice advert skill :)

Ms lin said...

Yea yea.. We were all expecting to read that they had sex,fell in love and then boko haram seperated them. Did I miss something?

APPLE said...

Do croppers still get posted to the north??? And their parents allow them?..hmm.

Vivian Chekwube said...

Wow... I really enjoyed d story nd I learnt something too... nice one

Wealth B... said...

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! No vex na so everybody feel...

kclub said...

My mind exactly

Anonymous said...

Lmao••i was already scared for him••u gat me real good mr•••marketing strategy••wanna get people to give a #fuck#get them unaware#BluntIjebuGirl#281d27a4

Amarachukwu. said...

Linda na wa for u ooooo

hilary obiorah said...

You had me there, I swear this is one hell of a PR. Nice advert.

Anonymous said...

Always hope thngs will get beter no mater de situation,lesson 4rm d story

Rumestikal618 said...

Hahaha....some people have been diappointed in not reading secapades by both of them. Guy...next time, be a man and do the ordering and the paying...#don'tgetmewrongguys

Anonymous said...

hahahaha, u got me there...#for your affordable event decoration with the woow look, contact 2b9f4894

Sylvonce said...

My thots exactly! lol!

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh. Nice one. U got us.

Sarah Sanni said...

LMAOOOOO. Linda you just used and dumped me. Making me read this. Thnks though

ndubuisi joshua atuanya said...

I can't wait to pass out shaa...though d ALERT wld b highly missed...

T.T.T said...

Buy business class to Europe nd North America on British Airways and get upgraded to First class:*\=D/ ..isn't this awesome:D so hurryyyyy,!
pin:2B3ED142

judkin said...

Hey Linda, this is a very intelligent write up/advert. Whoever wrote this, big kudos to you. I actually tot it was another sad northern story but I smiled at the end and heeded a sigh of relief... nice... :)

dhobiz said...

As in eh i was even adjusting my pillow to relax for what is coming nmtchew Linda sef

Anonymous said...

Intelligent and refreshing. Whoever wrote this deserves a good pay or promotion at his/her job. Good marketing!

Anonymous said...

Linda, please encourage more write ups like this. Your giving back to the society is a good thing and it is appreciated, but you shd also help raise talents, or bring talents to spotlight tru your platform. Just like you did Bonnario. Not just giving fish, but also teaching them how to fish and self sustain. God bless you and your good works!

liberty said...

Funny story Linda lol

femicavan said...

THIS NYSC SCHEME IN NIGERIA BY NOW NEED TO BE CANCEL,BECAUSE NIGERIA AS A COUNTRY IS A FAIL STATE.OUR EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM IS THE WORSE IN THE WORLD, OUR CERTIFICATES OR DEGREE IS NO MORE RECOGNISE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD , NO JOBS,POVERTY UPON POVERTY,CORRUPTION,OUR PRIMARY EDUCATION IS EVEN WORSE, YOU CANT EVEN IMAGINE THE CONDITION OUR KIDS ARE LEARNING ,JUST PAY A VISIT TO ONE OF THE LOCAL PRIMARY SCHOOL IN YOUR AREA ,YOU WILL SHARE TEARS TO SEE THINGS BY YOURSELF,OUR LEADERS SUPPOSE TO BE SHOT TO DEATH,BOKO HARAM IS KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE INSTEAD OF KILLING POLITICIANS.ALL NIGERIANS WILL SUPPORT BOKO HARAM IF THEY START TO KILL OUR POLITICIANS ONE BY ONE.

Anonymous said...

choiii u need beating for this *****dreezy

Anonymous said...

Dear Linda thanks for d comic relief. Its all I can say cos dis is different frm what we have been reading for some time now.

#bringbackourgirls#


Mrs. A.

Anonymous said...

hey! just sighted my platoon members.... waoh that was Wailo, Bauchi state, march 2013

Anonymous said...

cashless Nigeria one of the best that happened to dis country, i luv d story, keep it up

Anonymous said...

cashless Nigeria, best story ever

Anonymous said...

It's an ad! Y r u takin it personally?

ITK said...

Excellent...........

QUEEN Bsterry said...

OMgoodness! just when i thought the story ll be about the guy finding his life partner in the North!... This is very funny, i rushed reading the story only to find out its about Instant Transfer??? lmao!
I'm not a good writer but what's with North, corper, transfer from dad, fixiing of electrical gadget, beautiful ladies, posting got to do with POS??? in the north for that matter o?

Recent Posts