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Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Dear LIB readers: Am I still a virgin?

From a LIB reader
Please Linda I urgently need your advice and those of people reading your post. I turned 26 a few months back and will be settling down soon, God willing.
My confusion and fear stems from a childhood experience which I've kept to myself all these years. When I was very much younger, around the age of 8, something happened to me. My mom normally drops the key to the house with a neighbour so I can get it from there when I get back from school. Our neighbour has a son named Alaba, who is much older than me. All the kids, including myself, in the neighbour hood were very fond of him as he is very jovial and playful. And I don't think I've ever taught of him as dangerous to hang around.
So I came back from school on this faithful day and when to get the key as I usually do. When I got there he started playing with me, throwing me in the air, you know just as a brother will play with a sister. But all of a sudden, he clamped my hands together and held them down. Then he slid his fingers inside me and I bit him and ran out as a result of the pain I felt. I wanted to tell my mum but I was afraid she'll beat me or even punish me, so I kept it to myself. I'm 26 years of age now and before God and man, I've never slept with any man because I was always waiting for that special one. Now he's here. We were discussing on sexual relation one day and we both agreed to wait till our wedding night. I told him I'm still a virgin. But I'm afraid. What if I don't bleed during our first meeting? Am I still a virgin? Is my hymen still there? All these questions keeps tugging at my heart. Should I tell him and if I did, will he believe me? Please this is urgent as I'll be settling down in a few months time. Thanks.

288 comments:

1 – 200 of 288   Newer›   Newest»
General Amenhotep said...

Personally, this is a no issue...Tell him what Alabo did to you and that should be it.....You have no need to worry if this is the only problem....

Anonymous said...

did you bleed at the time he inserted his fingers? if not, then your good to go :)

Anonymous said...

you are still a virgin,not every1 sees blood once they have sex,if u see blood fine,if u dnt see blood fine but u re a virgin,no penetration occured,i once had a problem with my stomach and abdomen,i went to the doctor,he touched my private part to run a test,dat doesnt mean am nt a virgin,ur husband will feel it,u can tell ur hubby,dat wont stop him from loving u and if heshows attitude of not being interested,my dear,move on,dats not a real man

Anonymous said...

Go to a hospital get a female doctor to check you or even if its a male let a nurse be there,they would be able to tell u if ur still a v or not.

bluemagic said...

Frm all indications,ur still a virgin so long as u ran away almst immedietely,and didn't bleed den..bt I still tink u shld tel ur man..gd swthrt

Anonymous said...

talk to ur bf about it.

Anonymous said...

Hissssssssssssssss! No you are not ! Idiot.

NAOMI said...

I'll suggest u let him knw. Bt to me, I think u dnt hv a problem, bt am nt 100 percent sure though

Anonymous said...

MUMU WOMAN ,,,,,,,,,,,HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Eze Chukwumereze said...

E get some kind prick you go jam wey be say u go think say u be virgin , I no dey believe all that talk sha. Any lady that tells me she is a virgin I must INSIST we visit a doctor to confirm,if not I aint buying it! I have a friend(not gist)that is massive, any lady he sleeps with bleeds.So bleeding alone doesn't confirm alone if you are a virgin or not.

Anonymous said...

you must not always bleed when u get deflowered .if you are comfortable when having sex ,you would just feel the sharp pain ,sometimes people who are not virgins bleed too .

Anonymous said...

My dear the truth is that u are no longer a virgin since u felt pains wen your neighbor slid his fingers inside ur 'V' one can get disvirgined just by doing some streanous exercise,so u may not bleed if ur hubby to be finally sleeps with u,the hymen is very delicate as far as its no longer dere,u won't bleed,u have to tell your hubby so he understands.gudluck

Anonymous said...

Dont u know d way to d clinic???

Anonymous said...

My dear, explain this to him, develop the courage, U'RE STILL A VIRGIN

Sexily Endowed said...

De 1st question goes to u, @ dat tender age wen de guy did dat abominable act, did u bleed after u ran out? If no, den u're stl much α virgin.... Gud luck dear, wicked wworld we are livin in.

cobany said...

well i fink u have to tell him first, @ least he deserves to know since hes someone u plan to spend d rest of ur life with, you guys have probably been toghter for a while naw so he sould be able to know when you are lieing and saying the truth and what you are capable of and not so babe talk to him............arious

Anonymous said...

Gal ur a virgin! Only a dick can disvirgin u!!! And is nt every1 dt bleeds wen d loose their virginity

Anonymous said...

Insert a boiled egg,if it enters...den u r not a virgin,if it doesn't den u r a virgin.simple.

Asanwa said...

Its nt complusory u bleed,I did not...it also depend. On the SIZE,do nt let him know,u hv kept this away from ur parents for yrs,why tell him?

Anonymous said...

If Alaba's penis didn't go into you, you're still one. Besides, 10-20% of women don't bleed during the first intercourse.

Anonymous said...

I sincerely think you should see a gynecologist for an authentic reassurance,take care.

Oscar said...

Simply let him know.... From the stables of TheGistBook.com

Anonymous said...

Your hymen doesn't determine your virginity. Having intercourse does. A lot of girls break their hymen in their teenage years from engaging in sports to horse back riding. So if you don't bleed do not be alarmed. However, you can and should tell your mate of your experience. I'm sure he will understand and be comfoting.
Good luck

Anonymous said...

see a doctor for virginity test and let d guy knw d outcome

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Plz dear I suggest u tell him,if he loves u,dat means he trusts u not to lie to him too.coz if nothing happens on d D day to butteress ur innocence,telling him dat time won't be of anyhelp atall.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

Anonymous said...

if dere was no blood wen he inserted his finger n if it was as brief as u described it,den uv gat notn to worry about

Anwuli Oputa said...

You should let him know about it dear. As soon as you let him know the both of you can discuss what to do next.

Roland said...

It will be good if u can tell him now all that happened to u then.then concerning virginity I don't think u have problem

Permanent Resident said...

Listen the only time you are no more a virgin is when a big dick enter your pussy!!! Only A DICK or Dildo/Vibrator or the likes for sexual pleasure. Besides, it doesn't really matter as long as you are a kind, forgiving and loving woman this issue of virginity don't matter. I'll rather have a kind woman than was fucked so badly by her ex than to have an evil bitch that is a virgin. Then again, thats just me.

Anonymous said...

U l surely bleed on ur first nite if u v nt hd intercourse snc den. D hymen mt nt be intct but smtyms evn stress cn tamper wt it. U shud fill him in though jas 4 trust issues but im a gynaeclgst and im sure u r gonna bleed wen u engage in ur first intercourse

Anonymous said...

Girl tell ur man the truth at all times and if he loves u, he will never let u down. Build ur marriage/relationship on a solid rock of truth and honesty. U will Neva regret.

Anonymous said...

You are still a virgin, some girls don't bleed while some do. What matters is that no one has entered there. On your wedding night he's gonna have to be gentle!!!! If you still have doubt babe see a gynaecologist o 2 confirm

Anonymous said...

See a good gyno he wil tell u if u r loose or stil a virgin
I had d same problem growing up......bt I thnk God on our first night it turned out perfectly well,my viriginity ws stil there......and I hold a vry special place in his heart
Knwin I said I ws and he found out it ws true after all

Anonymous said...

U r still a virgin. Ten fingers held together make up a size of one penis. As long as he didn't insert his penis Into your vagina, u r still a virgin. U have to understand that the force of a penis going into the vagina is larger and painful. Therefore, the hymen breaks. One or two fingers have less force.

adewusi oluwatosin said...

LEFT TO ME. i dont think you are broken yet.... but better still i will suggest you let him know because even this your fear enough is enough to dis-virgin you...lolz....just kidding....u are still intact.

Anonymous said...

You are still a virgin dear... You don't have to bleed on a first encounter. I didn't bleed wen I had sex for the first time..

You can check online.. Google is your friend but pls stay away from wikipedia the free encyclopedia...

Or see a doctor!!!

Anonymous said...

You are! Even any woman who was having it regularly and stopped for a long period would still feel some pain wenever she starts again.....You might not bleed, not all virgins bleed, so ur a an intact virgin my dear...Cool down

Anonymous said...

Tell him abt i̶̲̥̅̊ŧ immediately...nt all virgins hav hymen tho'

Anonymous said...

Tell him abt i̶̲̥̅̊ŧ immediately...nt all virgins hav hymen tho'

Anonymous said...

I was molested by a grown up at 8yrs old and indeed bleed after my first proper intercourse with my bf now fiancee...My point is, U are still a virgin cos there was no full penetration. Get medically checked out and tell ur man jst for peace sake.

MzD

Miss_Ambiguity said...

You should tell him. And if he really loves you,he\'ll trust you enough to believe you. There\'s nothing to fear. :-)

Ella Mo said...

If its only a finger,u are still a virgin...but if it's not a finger tell us now ooooo...ehn...abi u tot it was a finger then?mayb u Dnt knw Wat prick is...lmao.! Well....just tell d dude. It don't cost anything.he ll stick back if he loves u.

Anonymous said...

Tell him

Anonymous said...

Please, just tell him..... i know we guys! wish you lucks....

Crystal said...

Tell him the truth now and dont wait until d wedding night. If u tell him on d wedding night, he may not believe u. Even a lady who has had a lot of men in her life could still cook up such a story just to keep her man. If u tell him now, the chances of believing u are high though.

Egbon omo baba olowo said...

go to ur doctor first to find out if u are virgin first..

Dave Iwuji said...

Please, tell him i know how guys may sometimes change, just free your mind if he's for you he will accept it. but you are still a VIRGIN!

m said...

Sweetheart, if that was what happened have no fear. If you dont bleed on your night, it doesn't mean much especially if you disclose this to your partner.What would you lose if he knows.If he truly loves you, i don't see the big deal.
If you feel you cant tell him, for your peace of mind, go see a gynecologist.

YINOTINTO said...

If thats truly all about it, then its not a problem. on ur first sex u gonna bleed ok. d fingerisnt much of a penetration so u r intact, except maybe u did something else.

HORDHUNHARYHOR said...

I think you should let him know of the molestation you had at your early life. But to be candid, I don't think you've been defiled in any way. Fingering at most times is just a mere sexual gratification means and not the real thing itself and come to think of it, it was only a contact according to your narration here.
My dear, I know of someone who was molested in this manner at a very tender age of her life. Just like you, she was paranoid of having lost her virginity to that ugly incident but was very much convinced the assault had no adverse effects on her on her wedding night. She was just as Pure as ever.

Do Have a Blissful Marriage.

Anonymous said...

I Dnt trust fingering,that guy don disvirgin u. #so rrrrry!

Anonymous said...

You will bleed there don't worry.

Ella Mo said...

If its only a finger,u are still a virgin...but if it's not a finger tell us now ooooo...ehn...abi u tot it was a finger then?mayb u Dnt knw Wat prick is...lmao.! Well....just tell d dude. It don't cost anything.he ll stick back if he loves u.

Anonymous said...

Not every woman bleeds when deflowered. That alone and because it's been a long time shouldn't be a problem. Keep this to yourself cos u are going to feel real pains when u actually get deflowered.

Anonymous said...

U wil bleed since u're sure its just that finger that has gone into u all ur life.

Anonymous said...

You will bleed there don't worry.

MissMe said...

Why not visit a gynecologist to check if you are... LIB readers cannot examine you and tell you if your hymen is in tact...

Anonymous said...

I think the best thing to do is to tell him now and also see a doctor for confirmation. but I'm not sure there is a problem. Did u see blood after the incident?

Anonymous said...

Hey dear, u are definitely still a virgin, i can confirm this cos am a nurse and with you explanation of a only a finger being inserted, then you have no cause to fear. the hymen is still intact. pls relax and focus on your wedding, God will be with you. You ve kept yourself thus far, so no worries. mwah!

Anonymous said...

Sis,you are still a virgin.His finger might have slipped passed but i am sure your hymen wasnt broken. i guess ur momma would have noticed if u had bled then and i am sure u didnt notice any blood urself.
you did a honorable thing girl[remaining chaste] so be proud of yourself. Talk to your man and tell him what happened back then and unless he is a total jerk,he will understand. I wish i could give you a hug to reassure you but i cant,so chin up and cheer up.Much luv Sis; Jesse'

Anonymous said...

Just let him know wat happened wen u where younger,should incase u didn't bleed

Anonymous said...

Yes u still a virgin

Bondy said...

firstly, i believe losing virginity should be from sexual intercourse...but other pple believe otherwise. secondly, if you haven't had sex ever, and 18yrs later...you will definitely bleed when u finally have it.

Anonymous said...

The solution to ur probs is simple. Get in touch with a Doc to test your virginity. If you discover afterwards that you are still one, good for you. If otherwise, confide in your partner ASAP.

Anonymous said...

I had d same issue 2..I neva had intercourse until last year decemba..I thot I was a V all dese yl buh 2my surprise I didn't bleed though I was realy tyt n I very painful..I felt pain in my lower abdomen all thru dat day buh no blood @all..I was so embarrased cuz I tld d guy I was a V n I actualy was buh I dnt knw wat happened..n I dnt rememba avin it wit any1 until then

amaka said...

♍ɣ dear, U̶̲̥̅̊'re still intact. U̶̲̥̅̊ don't need to tell him cos he'll tink U̶̲̥̅̊'ve been hidin urself from him all these while pretendin to be a virgin. Just go ahead wit υя̲̅ weddin. Wish U̶̲̥̅̊ da best

OMa Ga o (OMG) said...

Is he marrying you for your virginity or for LOVE? Just let him know what happened to you Sis, after all no body holy pass, you will be surprise at his past too if he decides to open up, cos everybody has gotten one, Thank God for Jesus!

Anonymous said...

you didn't say if u bled then or not. Well, you are the owner of your body. carry out an examination of your lower region to confirm if your hymen is still intact. and if telling him will make you feel better, by all means please do.

Moi Moi said...

In this case... Virginity test from your physician will be the only guaranteed way to prove your virginity....
Mere Speculation of the justification of stolen innocence will only lead to more confusion.....
You can also tell him your predicament, he might be very reasonable given the circumstances.

Anonymous said...

Yes you are still a virgin.

Anonymous said...

Madam, simply go for a virginity test shikena.......

chiboy chuks said...

If you had no bleeding that day.. then be pretty sure you still a virgin... but if you had.. dear, sorry oooo, you not...

T: @chiboychuks || www.chiboychuks.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

your hymen is not there but however you may bleed during your first intercourse because you've only had one finger penetration and the bigger penetration might hurt and for 26 yrs???? you are most likely to bleed.

but for a guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, you should have told him abt this experience long before now, however its not too late so you should tell him before it spoils things when you are already married.

Anonymous said...

I think u r still a virgin cz he only used his fingers...bt I rili thnk u shld tell ur fiance tho.

phemmy said...

did u bleed at dat time? if yes then u r no longer a virgin. but it is better u tell him nw or else u will nt be trusted again.

pealie said...

First time i didn't bleed and the stupid jerk tells me....that he didn't believe that he was my first but the third guy i was with had the biggest peepee i've ever seen and he popped it. You might not bleed after your first!

Anonymous said...

I didn't bleed wen I got disflowered!

Anonymous said...

U are still a virgin my dear, dick and finger are 2 different things. Keep ur head high as a virgin bride.

Anonymous said...

Pleas I would suggest u let him knw and tell him everything dat is truly true before u guys get married. If he loves u he will still marry u. Wish you luck

Anonymous said...

Don't worry my dear, you are still a virgin;I have had the unfortunate incidence of hearing a similar story from a girl who told me she had the same kind of experience and thought and felt she was no longer a virgin. The hymen is only broken forcefully, either by forceful penetration or overtly physical exercise like horse-riding and such which results in bleeding or such. incidentally when i tried to make love to her, she lost her hymen and started bleeding( i felt terrible),apparently in her head she thought she had lost her virginity previously; so it was a childhood horror memory rather than the actual incidence so you are still a V', please save it for hussy u hear?THE GREMLIN HAS SPOKEN!

shile said...

Ermm.. I had d same exxperience too and on ma first day I dnt see blood.. M tinking the blood issue depends on ur body system.. I don't rlly tink its compulsory u see blood.. I dunno.. But ma boyfrnd dnt bliv am a virgin dat first time simply cos dere ws no blood.. In oda news.. Its adviseable u xplain to him bfore u get married.. To be on a safer side..

Anonymous said...

Is better u let him knw about dat earl de better,ur superwoman by keeping ur self. I beliv he will undersat.

chiboy chuks said...

If you had some bleeding that day... then pretty sure you not a virgin, but if had none... then know you still intact. #THErule

T: @chiboychuks

Anonymous said...

Did you bleed from the incident? The Hymen especially at that age cannot break easily without bleeding.

If you bled, then I'm sorry, there's a higher chance you are no longer a virgin. However, its very likely that you'll bleed when you have sex

Anonymous said...

My friend, go for virginity test in any of the hospital around. Preferably Government hospital. You are playing with fire.

chiboy chuks said...

If you had some bleeding that day... then pretty sure you not a virgin, but if had none... then know you still intact. #THErule

Anonymous said...

You can tell him if you want to share your experience, but I'm sure there's a difference between a man's member and fingers and after 18years, I'm sure u've tightened up and snapped back and you're fine if it did affect you that much. FYI, you don't have a pool of blood when dis-virgined like stories tell, you will see just a bit of blood. I didn't see any till I used the bathroom immediately after and my partner saw some on his man-hood, that's about it, the sheets were safe.

walls said...

Only u can answer ur own question.
When the Fingering took place, did u bleed? If yes,you are not a virgin,If Not then You are.

Anonymous said...

If you go on to get married to this man, you may regret your life if you turn out not to be what you claim to be.

Anonymous said...

My dear, u just have to let him know. As 4 me, I did not bleed d first D̶̲̥̅̊A̶̲̥̅Y I did it.

Anonymous said...

I think u r will definitely bleed enough if u 've been nt be havin any other business thr xpt wat Alaba has done since then. What's wrong with u tellin him? U ve done great by keeping urself frm radical boys who wuld hv tear the stuff in ur teenage age. Pls am searching fr ppl like if wat u r sayin sure.

davvyben said...

Hmmmm, ur case is very contradictory bt I think u shuld open up 2 him.(Clear road 4 Aba boi)

Anonymous said...

its always the poor neighbour, my dear tell us the truth, you chop the banana, didnt you?

Anonymous said...

Men of today can be so irrational sometimes. I'll suggest you keep quiet about it. Definitely the first man should know it's your first time cos it'll be tight.

Olumuyiwa Ayoola said...

Not all virgins bleed, but u can tell him if he trusts u.

Anonymous said...

My dear!u re going 2spend d rest of ur life with dis guy.u beta tellhim now dan explain on ur wedding nyt.

Anonymous said...

Very easy. Ask a doctor to check if d hymen is still there.

Dhayorr said...

Like u said "he fingered" you. It wasn't that he inserted into you. To me, you r perfectly alryt. Thank God he didn't go that far with you anyway, Thank GOD.At the same time u shld let him know about it and assure him u r alryt and u r still a Virgin. God Bless ur Union.

Anonymous said...

No man will ever take you serious if you claim to be virgin while you are not. That marriage will crash sooner or later if you play with his ego. Its a dangerous game you are trying to play. Russian Roullet i call this your game. Even if you turn out not to be what you claim to be, he will never take or believe your words.

Anonymous said...

Wow,pls tell him asap!den he knows not2expect much,it wud tear you guys apart if on the faithful nyt no blood cums out.though am sre you'll b very tight so dat shud b enuff4him.lol

tonia said...

@ naomi,true. You should let him know,no one wants to begin such a thing as 'marriage' with a lie. Secondly,not all virgins bleed when their hymen is beeen broken. Besides,you were 8yrs old. There wasn't really any penetration besides the finger. Honestly,if that's the only time sth ever happened then you still are very much a virgin

Anonymous said...

Of course ur a virgin, which finger can disvirgin? Must be a fatty finger

Anonymous said...

Mscheeeeeew! this girl u no get job ooo! "is my hymen still there?" Come let me help you look for it na..bloody bonkom

Anonymous said...

You are fine, it was not your fault and yes YOU R A VIRGIN!!! any man nowadays will be happy to have a woman that is a virgin to marry.

Anonymous said...

Go to the hospital and let a gynecologist check you out to tell if you still a virgin or not, then tell ur guy the truth.

Anonymous said...

you should go see a gynecologist, they'll check and tell you if your hymen is intact.

Anonymous said...

you should still be,i kind of had a similar experience.I was 6 and i was sexually molested well kinda alot..from age 3 actually.I was also curious to know if i was still a virgin but that was when i was 19..smh..stupid me agreed to have sex with my bf of more than a year and i discovered that i actually was still a virgin..Decided to stay away from sex after that 1st aweful experience.Anyways you should be alright and you don't have to bleed to show that you are a virgin..most people bleed yes but not everyone..and i think you should tell your man about it.

Anonymous said...

My case is similar to yours mine he used to come and pick up from school then and when we come home he sleeps with me and told me if i told anyone he would kill me, i was just a kid i was scared to death i didn't know what it was till i grew up everyone in my house still thinks am a virgin not even my mother does not know about this i have kept this for so long to myself i have never stop praying to GOD to punish the bastard that molested me where ever he is, i was not even up to ten years when this happened to me it has affected me psychologically that is why i swore to myself and GOD i will not let any man take advantage till our wedding night because my virginity is not something i lost willingly i was abused as a child each time i remember this all i do is cry cry cry my dear just open up to him if loves you he should marry not because you are a virgin or not tell him so that on your wedding night it will not look like you lied to him tell him ok

Anonymous said...

Not every gal bleeds on their 1st time of sexual intercourse.(From my experience cos i didn't) according to ur story, i think u r still a virgin.But u can still talk it ova since its some1 u r going to live wt 4eva.

jola said...

Its a really sad thing that happened but I don't think you should let it plague you. Go to the hospital and get checked up and if you're going to marry him, you should be able to tell him.

Anonymous said...

My dear, the choice to tell or not is totally yours. Lost my virginity and can't remember seeing any blood and i wasnt poked or molested as a child. Body dey different. You are still 100% a virgin, just look at it this way u used a tampoon once when you were 8. Peops that use tampoons are definately virgins.

youngboss said...

i realy admire ur sence of reasoning,bt i wuld advice u 2 wait until afta ur wedding...if he finds out dat u r nt a v den u tel hm,bt if u r a v den kip ur litle secret locked in d closet

Anonymous said...

go and see a doctor to ascertain if ur hymen was broken... most men are not to be trusted in issues like this bcos ur parents dont know about it and he might accuse of infidelity and u are only covering up with child sexual abuse.... to save ur marriage, urself and scepticism, i suggest u go to a doctor for a test, i think a female doctor is best. expalin to her and knows wats she has to say.... am so sorry u underwent this kinda horrible experience as a child.... be good to ur husband as u've remained faithful to urself.... being a virgin or not isnt want makes a healthy home. its about u making sure non of ur children are at risk in the future... this is something u have kept to urself and getting married will erase it all... just go to a doctor and find out if ur hymen is till intact... this is not what LINDA IKEJI'S BLOG READERS will figure out for u bcos u will be more confused with the kinda suggestive comments u will see here... be good always and have a healthy home free of child molestation freaks....

Anonymous said...

My dear u wil bleed cos just a finger won't stp dah. I fink u shud stil tel ur mum

Anonymous said...

if truly you have not had sex with anyone, then you have nothing to worry about, from the tightness alone you will see spat of blood, the hymen can break just from riding a bike, horse and things like that, what cause bleeding is the tightness, Most people believe when you loose your virginity there will be blood everywhere incorrect, u will see blood yes, but not period level blood....so my dear you are good.

Anonymous said...

I think u are still OK because fingers can't disvirgin a lady easily, u can still tell him abt d incident cos 4 a guy 2 b willing 2 wait till ur wedding! he must be a wonderful person. I wish u luck in ur marriage... God bless

Anonymous said...

it is better you tell him, however if you say you've not known any man then you are still a virgin.

Anonymous said...

correctbabe

question is "did you see blood on dt day"

I dont think you are disvirgin

Anonymous said...

U re still a full grown virgin.... So enjoy your sex life with you man.... Don't be afriad. But in my own best opinion make sure you tell your man everything about your past...cause it helps a lot in relationship.

Anonymous said...

Babe, if ur conscience is pricking U, I blve U shld tel him. Buh I dnt think der s smtn wrng wit U. Most girls dnt bleed wen dey loose der virginity, most especially wen dey'v come of age.

Anonymous said...

Very funnY, cos just 2day my younger cousin was asking if her virginity was still intact she is just 19, but she wanted to know if masturbation could dis virgin her and I told her no, I re assured her virginity was intact but of cos I told her to quit masturbating b4 it becomes an addiction but right now am wondering can masturbation accuatly disvirgin a girl ?

Anonymous said...

Its best u tell your man..if he loves u he will undersatand and help u conquer your fears..I believe ur still a virgin becos it takes vigourous thrusting to break d hymen..and note not all women bleed when they get down d first time...I wish u luck..

Anonymous said...

if you are not a virgin all u have to do is plan your encounter around when you are finishing your period, the last day, the last day u will still be spatting. ;) don't say u didnt learn anything from linda's forum lol

Anonymous said...

U ARE STILL A VIRGIN my sister,i had similar experience when i was young and when i eventually did,blood came out.so just take it easy.

Anonymous said...

I understand how you feel.I have been there and in my own case it was an uncle ( Dad's younger brother) that use to stay with us and when i ended up having Sex after like 14years, there was no blood which was a major concern to my Fiance because i never mentioned it to him.
My Advice: please tell him ahead because sooner or later he will know and will hurt him and even if he doesn't talk , am 100% sure your conscience wouldn't let you be. So please tell him NOW and be prepared to face what ever comes with it, i was fortunate because my fiancee stayed but the topic still comes up occasionally but its better that way that for your conscience to kill u.
All the best and Happy married life in advance.

Anonymous said...

Hello dear, do you remember if you bled at that time. If you did, you might not bleed but i think a doctor will be in a better position to advice

Anonymous said...

sweets.. not every1 bleeds. hymen can be broken thru various means. sumtimes activities like sport and all. so if he doesnt see blood, he should calm down but if he is the one, why do u have a problem telling him all the things that has happened to u in the past? one thing i can assure u of is the fact dat ull still be very tight. even peeps that dont have sex for like 5years sumtims gets alil tighter

lara said...

U should talk to a doctor, whatever is the outcome, u can tell ur husband to be after all it was not ur fault although u would have told your parents about it when it happened. Wishing all d best.

Anonymous said...

Pls let him knw is very important. So dat. he wil hav full trust in u. But come to think of it, u wher supposed to think of dis bfore telling him dat ur a virgin. Bcos dat word virgin means dat nobody av seen nor touch dat place. As in nothing has entered dere. But dis one dat finger has entered, are u sure dat is only finger? Its well Oº°˚˚°º! God will see u tru sha

Anonymous said...

Pls let him knw is very important. So dat. he wil hav full trust in u. But come to think of it, u wher supposed to think of dis bfore telling him dat ur a virgin. Bcos dat word virgin means dat nobody av seen nor touch dat place. As in nothing has entered dere. But dis one dat finger has entered, are u sure dat is only finger? Its well Oº°˚˚°º! God will see u tru sha

Dilichukwu said...

U do not have a problem and your Hymen is still intact.. One finger cannot make a hit.. Move on except you are not telling us everything that happened!

Anonymous said...

The best way to know for sure is to have a simple examination that'll only take a few seconds. Walk into any reputable clinic and ask a nurse to check if your hymen is still there. That being said a virgin is defined as a person that has never had sexual intercourse. Others might disagree but I feel the incident is not sufficient to be described as sexual intercourse. I feel he assaulted you in sexual way but did not have sexual intercourse with you. Therefore you are still a virgin regardless of whether you have a hymen or not.
You are better off letting your fiancee know regardless of the outcome of the examination just so that you don't have any secrets that could affect your relationship. Most of the time its not the secret that's hurtful, its the hiding it for so long that causes damage. Good luck

Anonymous said...

don't worry, u r safe as long as he didn't put his evil penis inside u and u didn't complain of any bleeding. u can tell ur hubby if he is understanding coz u knw some men behave like kids in this matter.

Anonymous said...

From my own account and experience. I got married to a lady who claim to be a virgin. When I met her, She told me no sex until after marriage and i ask why, she said because she is a virgin.

I said ok, if she is really sure she is one, we courted for 7 months before the paying of bride price and traditional marraige. I wanted us to make love and she refused. She siad until after the church wedding. I still waited for about 6 months before we did the church wedding. On the wedding night which we are to make love,I slept with her and find out she was naver a virgin. I question her on my finding and she started crying.

She told me one of her school friend in secondary raped her. That the guy did not penetrate deep into her. I told my family of my finding and the marriage was over. I and my friends called that marriage June 12.
That marriage lasted for 12 days. Her family returned our dowry and other expensis which my family ask them to pay.

Anonymous said...

first of all,congrats on your impending marriage,technically you are still a virgin,as you have NEVER had any SEXUAL relationship before,until there is a penetration you are still a virgin.so darling pls let it go, tell your man about it, cos you are getting married to this man and there shouldn't be any secret between you two, there is nothing to ashamed of. have a great wedding.

Anonymous said...

If u didn't bleed then there's no problem. Some virgins get fingered but the hymen isn't ruptured so u r fine. Don't worry ur pretty head. Check with ur GP if u r still in doubt.

Olajide Paul said...

It will be better to let Him know before it will be too late for you.

Pastor jacob said...

This is huge, very huge. life has taught me that is always good to say the truth all the time no matter the conqunces. Moreso no secret is for ever. Pray before you tell him. all the best.

Lisan said...

Well...1st of all,not all virgins bleed because ur hymen might have been broken during the course of some strenous exercises or ivn dancing(stunt,splittin etc)...so the question of compulsory bleeding is out of it.....Left2me,aud suggest Ʋ tok 2ur special one about it.....but ai am very positive Ʋ are still 100percent a virgin.....except uve been fingered occassionally during ur growing up years......if not,den worry not,kuz Ʋ will still savour en cherish ur 1stym.....

Anonymous said...

Sincerely I don't think u av a problem. Tho to be forewarned is to be forearmed, so pls tell him, I'm sure he'll understand.



Flymoke

Olajide Paul said...

it will be better you let Him know before it will be too late.

Anonymous said...

If you were just fingered and did not bleed out....then you are still a virgin. Even if you bleed out the hymen has a way of healing itself back if no penetration occurs. Forget all the ignorant lib readers saying otherwise.....you are still a virgin!!! #TalkingFromTheSameExperience

Anonymous said...

sorry dear, u really tried keeping such for this long. well i think u shud let him know or better still go to the hospital n have a doctor check to let you know if ur hymen is intact. what ever the result maybe let him know. i personally think you are still very much a virgin. good luck

Anonymous said...

I believe you could go and see a gynecologist first, he or she would be able to tell you if your hymen is still there or not. In either outcomes please let your husband to be know the situation that happened years ago. I hope this helps.

Anonymous said...

forget your boyfriend he's gay. and you will find this out later on in your marriage if you ignore this. The truth is it doesnt matter if he Loves youy he Loves you. bleeding is not compulsory.

Anonymous said...

1st of all,ur hymen can break evn with stressful exercise..Ȋ̝̊† doesnt min u are nt A̶̲̥̅ virgin..dis was a rili long time ago,u whr a kid,and jst one finger aint the same as full penetration..u are def still a virgin..bt i suggest u discuss †ђξ issue wt †ђξ person u wana marry..dnt build ur marriage Ơη secrets. Best of luck

ChinaU said...

They say better safe than sorry. It won't hurt to let him in on your past! He's your husband to be and has to accept you wholly!
On the issue of being a virgin...you still very much are. Some girls bleed during their first, and others don't. Your hymen is still in place because all he use was a finger or two.
I still suggest you tell your man about it. Good luck
P.S. let us know how it goes :-)

prynz matt said...

My dear, u are still a virgin. There are so many things that could break ð hymen.. Sporting activities, Sharp falls, Injuries, etc...Not all virgins experience that bleed @ 1st penetration.. Don't worry, he will tell when he tries penetratin, he go sweat loose interest sef..

Anonymous said...

I have this problem.when I first had sex,there was no blood at all. But the 3rd time,there was blood.Its all so confusing.Assuming its different person I had the 1st and 3rd sex with, who disvirgined me?

Anonymous said...

†̥ me U̶̲̥̅̊ are still a virgin but if U̶̲̥̅̊ still doubt it that means U̶̲̥̅̊ have †̥ go for checkup. I believe the hospital will proof your doubt

Anonymous said...

Lol @radical boys,Hahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Seriously it sounds like me.I too was fingrd while young.I have never slept with a man till I met my hussy.I habnt seen blood there before .I toldy hussy I was a virgin.the day we slept it was so painful like he was stretching inside of me but there was no blood.I was so disappointed.I have never slept with any man.so better tell him of the incidence.

Anonymous said...

Mehn I'm goin tru dz dilemma too..bt in my own case I'm not getting married.. I just wish to know if I can call myself a virgin or not.

okorodudu said...

what with the grammatical errors -

'...And I don't think I've ever taught (thought) of him as dangerous to hang around. So I came back from school on this faithful (fateful) day and when (went) to get the key as I usually do...'

Sounds like a made-up story sha. Then again, not everyone bleeds when disvirgined. What you had gone thru wasn't more than what careful couples do ala heavy petting.

eloho said...

tell him about what happenend.
Breaking of the hymen is what causes a virgin to bleed during an intercourse.
I suggest you let him know and also go for a test to determine if you're still a virgin. When you tell him, he might even tell you not to bother about the test but first and foremost let him know!!
DO NOT LET HIM FIND OUT ON YOUR WEDDING NIGHT, that is more dangerous.
Trust me whats yours is yours. If he is to be your husband, this will definitely not change anything but an omission might.

Warri Girl said...

Trust is key, as far as he trust and believes you it doesn't matter if you believe or don't because not all girls bleed the first time.

Anonymous said...

I sugget u tell hm but am certain u ar stil a virgin finger n dick ant any march so i fel u ar stil intact all d best dr

Anonymous said...

There is no need to see any doctor. You are a VIRGIN. And besides I want to believe your been a virgin is about holiness and righteousness before God. And you have done that by not having extra marital relations with a man not yet your husband. And then what happened then was while you were a kid. There is no reason to hide it from your husband. You shouldn't keep secrets. Your decision is first before God and he should be all that matters first. And even if you don't bleed, it doesn't mean you are not a virgin. That's some technical stuff. Because some ladies loose thier's (technically) while ridding a bicycle or some other kind of non sexual strenuous exercise. Congrats.

lulu king said...

I think it's a big shame that a 26 yr old educated woman can't tell if she's a virgin or not .

Anonymous said...

KING OF BLOG LORDS
Baby girl" as you said he slid his finger inside you for a bit, let tell you nothing spoil as for your hymes, songs,virgin anything you may call it all of them is still there, but just for benefit of argument and disagreement Go to virgin hospital and meet a virgin doctor or virgin nurse for virginary test for a virgin or login www.ikennatheonlyvirginboyalive.com.

Anonymous said...

Eze, your acting holier than thou sayin you must insist she gets checked by a Dr. Your "thing" needs to be inspected as well to knw if u a virgin. Anuofia!!!!

Anonymous said...

Yurk!

Anonymous said...

Just check w/a gynaecologist and stop the hassle.. Who knows, the guy you dating might not keep his side of the bargain- staying a virgin that is. So take it easy on yourself. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Am a born again child of God. to be precise i worship at mfm. all the sis am intrested in propose to me after few days or month of friendship as such i cut off the relationship because to me it means desperation. Is it a good thing for mfm sis or deeplife sis to propose to a brother in the lord.

Anonymous said...

HELLO DEAR.....I am also in a similar situation as you, though I am not married. I URGE/BEG YOU TO PLEASE TELL YOUR FIANCEE.......PLEASE...you might not be a virgin physically but you are a virgin emotionally and spiritually because you never fully gave yourself to anyone......please tell him because some men marry because they have found a virgin....and if that is the case with your man the marriage would break or you would suffer if he finds out after the wedding.......please dear let him know if he is the one he would stay....

Ella Mo said...

That mr anonymous that said his marriage was June 12 is just a fool...thank God d marriage was alrdyover b4 she knew u kinda person. So u ended d marriage bcos u didn't find her a virgin as she claimed bcoz of fears known to her?after d ceremony! Shame on u! U shd jst remain ur miserable anonymous! Shiooooorrrrrrrrr

Anonymous said...

EVEN DOCTORS CANT 100% confirm if you/wife to be is a virgin or not. MY mom is doctor & she claimed I wasn't after an inspection where as I was. Had sex for the first time 8yrs after her so called inspection and I bled and hurt like a mofo.

Anonymous said...

Yea yea? Was he?

Anonymous said...

Just check w/a gynaecologist and stop the hassle.. Who knows, the guy you dating might not keep his side of the bargain- staying a virgin that is. So take it easy on yourself. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Yurk!

Anonymous said...

Eze, your acting holier than thou sayin you must insist she gets checked by a Dr. Your "thing" needs to be inspected as well to knw if u a virgin. Anuofia!!!!

Anonymous said...

Number one: Please stop acting like you are sixteen. You are a twenty six year old woman. At this point in your life you should have made it a habit to visit your gyno at least once a year for check ups. Especially since you are now seriously thining of having sex..Let that be your first stop: Go talk to your gyno about your concerns

Number two: Even if you have never had sexual intercourse, you will only bleed if your hymen is still intact. At your age, depending on how active you are your hymen probably broke a long time ago..from running, biking, etc..

abby said...

U are d real idiot.

Anonymous said...

Oh my God this is what i went through too. I wanted to ask but am ashamed they will laugh at me. My own case, my hubby told me that he believe me that i should worry some are like that. Just tell him before is too late and i pray that God should touch his heart so that he will believe you

Anonymous said...

@Anon 3:24 may God help you..you and your family are bunch of shallow idiots...how can you end a marriage bcos som1 was raped no wonder she was scared to tell you before the wedding...COW!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

which finger did he use? we have to know all the details.

huyii said...

not all bleed @ first penetration,but i think you should narrate this story to him (just incase)so u have nothing to lose either ways....

p said...

it is so unfortunate what happened to you did, i really reach out to you on that. but hope you have discussed this with your fiance? it would really help so that he does not have any wrong views if he should discover. in my opinion you are still a virgin because you have not had carnal knowledge of a man ( if i should put it that way lol) i applaud you for being brave and looking forward to sex after marriage because it is blissful,but i strongly recommend you share with your fiancee. God bless u big

Eze Chukwumereze said...

@Anon 4.14 or 3.14pm(My time here),my own time I won't trade words with you or any abusive replier ,I am past that but sometimes ladies use that to trap the guy,so best way to confirm is seeing a gynecologist or a doctor. Being a virgin doesn't guarantee you salvation alone. A filthy mind and an abusive tongue qualifies you into the pit of hell as well.

Oge said...

Kai! The kind of stupid advice pple give is simply amazing. Insert boiled egg?!! Really???

Anonymous said...

mumu, at your age you dont know the way to virginity test

Anonymous said...

Alaba toh badt nih!

Anonymous said...

I understand you so perfectly well. Babe you are stiil a virgin. I had your exact abuse and fear with my man. But when it did happen, my hymen was intact and I bled.

However, tell him what actually happened cos I later found out that the reason I hated fingering and my friend would tell how she enjoys this from her husband was because I was abused that way.

Anonymous said...

Aunty Linda, na wa o.
I have got a similar situation though I was just 6 years old but mine was nt a finger o but the real thing but my question is can the thing of a 7/8 years old disflower a 6 year old baby?
I am 28 now and had had just one boyfriend in my life time and we never had any intercourse.
The incident affected me psychologically while growing up and was always cold towards guys generally.
The guy was one of the children of my family friend whom I lived with at that period in time(while I was 6).
I still think I am a virgin though but can it be possible I got disflowered then?

Chop Chop said...

Dear, meaning you smoked but didn't inhale? Pls.tok tru make I hep you. Congrats.

Anonymous said...

you are a mr he-goat! i lack words to describe you im sure u have had sex outside wedlock

Chop Chop said...

Dear, meaning you smoked but didn't inhale? Pls.tok tru make I hep you. Congrats.

Anonymous said...

Sometime ago I engaged in rigorus exercises n I started seein blood spottin for a week, and my dear after getting disvirgined there was no blood..so I ve a belief I lost my hymen durin that,bt I was still a virgin.hymen or no hymen,no penetration so u re still one....no need to tell borin stories abeg..

Anonymous said...

Telling your fiance the truth before the wedding is far way better than waiting to the very last minute (the wedding night).

I was molested by my cousin at the age of 6. Because of the experience, I was scared of having a boyfriend. I finally had a boyfriend and was so scared to tell him, but I told him. When I told him my story, I found out that at the age of 8 his aunt made him have sex with her. The revelation made me closer to him. We both went to the gynaecologist, and I was told I was still a virgin.

Anyway, my boyfriend and I are engaged now and we plan waiting till our wedding night.

Tell him the truth lady. If he stays he is for you and if he leaves he never was for you. Stay safe!

Holuwa Vickey said...

Lols...Linda na wa for u...anyways, thanks for making me laff this noon...d lady shud calm down...she is still a virgin..lolz

Anonymous said...

Telling your fiance the truth before the wedding is far way better than waiting to the very last minute (the wedding night).

I was molested by my cousin at the age of 6. Because of the experience, I was scared of having a boyfriend. I finally had a boyfriend and was so scared to tell him, but I told him. When I told him my story, I found out that at the age of 8 his aunt made him have sex with her. The revelation made me closer to him. We both went to the gynaecologist, and I was told I was still a virgin.

Anyway, my boyfriend and I are engaged now and we plan waiting till our wedding night.

Tell him the truth lady. If he stays he is for you and if he leaves he never was for you. Stay safe!

Chop Chop said...

Dear, meaning you smoked but didn't inhale? Pls.tok tru make I hep you. Congrats.

Anonymous said...

It must b a hot boiled egg o.else,the experiment is zero!!

Anonymous said...

I didn't see blood when I lost it...and even if u lost it den wen u were 8,n u haven't had sex since den trust me ,u r still a good damn VIRGIN

pealie said...

Shit happens, first time i didn't bleed and the stupid jerk tells me.....that he didn't believe dat he was my first. D third guy i was with had the third guy i was with had the biggest peepee i've ever seen and he popped it. Anyways, virgin at 26...i dont envy you at all.

Seyi said...

How on earth are we supposed to know. All these lazy question articles sha. You must not really want a sincere answer. Go and see a gynecologist.

Anonymous said...

@ Eze Chukwumereze... u should be ashamed of urself... u claim u live in the uk but ur words are so empty... this shows u dont respect womanhood. the fact u have a mother and u were brought into this world by a woaman is enof reason to respect womanhood. how dare u utter that rubbish.... u dont respect womanhood and am sorry to say this hope u respect ur mother.... bet me u mite be impotent for all i care... u are a disgarce to manhood. i've always said it 'being a man is not the size of ur penis but the wisdom in the words u say'.... too bad for u, too bad for the kinda background u come from... u mite not come from a home but a house... u should have asked the doctor to sex the girl to ascertain if she's a virgin... ewu mpama... anuofia... ara gbachie gi nti... onike gi ikporo amu gbajie there....

Anonymous said...

All she need do is get a mirror and have a good look.

And again her V should b tight & enough for the guy's knpwledge.

I dont thnk telln d guy is a good idea

Anonymous said...

All u need is a mirror.have a good lool.

Not every1 bleeds and once ur V is tightI dont yhnk ur husband wld suspect anythn

You shldnt tell him about it. That is ur secret

Anonymous said...

I also think u don't hav any problem. However, I hav heard Doctors say dat bcos of d present heavy nd numerous activities by ladies, a lot of times, d hymen is broken, even without sexual intercourse! As a matter of fact, u may not see any show of blood, during d first intercourse. I think it all has to do with trust. Goodluck!

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