Dear LIB readers: No marriage proposal, no engagement ring, yet about to wed
From a LIB reader
Dear Linda, I read your post on a lady not liking her engagement ring and it reminded me of my own situation. My introduction is this Saturday and my wedding is in November, yet I don't even have an engagement ring.
He never even proposed to me. Each time I speak to him about it, he makes a joke of it. I feel its kind of absurd. I have always desired to be proposed to and given a ring before my introduction day. This has always been my childhood fantasy.
Is this normal? Are there married ladies out there who got married without an engagement ring? I want LIBERs to advise me honestly and not insult me .... Smiling .
Hello sweetheart, men are not really romantic and are clueless most times. i almost did not get an engagement ring too but it meant so much to me, i dont know what would have happened to us if i didnt get. we talked about it and he did the needful and we are getting married in December :)
Its not a big deal dear!! What matters is the marriage after the wedding and what u make out of it. Believe me, alot of women have had engagement rings and the same guys who gave the rings had them flung in their faces so its no big deal!! Just go into ur marriage with faith and trust in God to see u through. I don't know why he never proposed to u but if u both have a natural flow that led to the wedding n all, then that's fine. But pls, let the understanding be mutual- i do hope he is not pressured into marrying u though. Anyway,u MUST tell him how u feel about everything. Don't hide how u feel ok!!! Like i said, trust God to make ur marriage work n He will see u through. Congratulations and All the best!!!
pls linda post my comment ..oooo my dear young lady, ring make no meaning provided u ar happy with d union. were a ring is highly necessary is on ur wedding day. as am talking 2 u now, my first wine carrier has been done by fience nd my traditional marriage is coming up by november nd yet he has not given me a ring nd we ar both madly in luv with each other. my dear, dont alow ur priorities 2 rub u off ur jewel... ook
Engagement rings are very nice to have but sometimes it is over-rated, remember that it is a westernised act, our great grand-fathers and grand-fathers got married without using rings etc. It is more important to have the heart of a man than the ring of a man because my dear, I have seen ladies have to return or throw away their engagement rings because the engagement/relationship was called off..... More emphasis should be placed on the non-material aspects of a relationship/marriage.
You that is talking, are u married? Why would u tell her to cancel the whole tin. Ur so daft! Proposal isn't important, she just fancies it. Wats important is the luv they shear. Pls go on with ur intro and don't mind this nuisance
So far everyone have spoken well on this matter. My little contribution is that, you should forget the drama and face the basics; He loves you, respects you and wants to marry you. Dats d basic girl! Let me ask you, do you know how many ladies have been proposed to without marriage? You are even lucky, no ring no proposal drama, but you are getting married anyway... let me hear you say ohun! ohun!
GOOD TO KNOW AM NOT ALONE IN THIS,I CAN ABSOLUTELY RELATE TO UR PLIGHT COS AM IN SIMILAR SITUATION,BT AFTER SEVERAL FINDINGS I REALIZED IT RILY NOT A BIG DEAL,D MOST IMPT TIN IS TO BE CONVINCED D GUY LUVS U,LOT OF GIRLS WT ENGAGEMENT RINGS ARE NT EVEN AS HAPPY AS SOME OF US WTOUT IT.SO CALM DOWN N ENJOY UR MAN
You that is talking, are u married? Why would u tell her to cancel the whole tin. Ur so daft! Proposal isn't important, she just fancies it. Wats important is the luv they shear. Pls go on with ur intro and don't mind this nuisance
It depends...how did you guys go from dating to getting married? Your post doesn't make it very clear. Did he say 'let's get married?' or what? (I'm assuming you didn't just decide in your head that you guys were getting married and go ahead to arrange an introduction...if you did, then I'd say pinch yourself and wake the hell up from that dream.) If you both agreed to be married and he's not the kind of person to be dramatic or overly romantic and in your gut you feel it's right, then I wouldn't worry about it too much. Don't be influenced by how other people want to be proposed to - I want a nice proposal myself but if the guy who's doing it is not that kind of person, a 'marry me' will suffice. After all, these days tons of people have overly dramatic proposals, big fat weddings, and find that their husbands or wives are cheating on them within a month. If you know the kind of person he is (is he a dramatic romanctic or more on the practical side? Is he willing to go out of his way to do cheesy stuff for you or is he not? That way you know if not giving you a ring is out of character for him, and you go with your instincts. Hope this helps.
I got married in 2008, and my husband never gave me an engagement ring. That does not mean he love me any less. It depends on what matters to you. I didn't take it as a necessity, what matters is the love u share.
my sister 4get dat ring thing oooo e no mata at all,i remembered when i was serving two of my hall mate got engage wit ring dat everyone was happy for dat even me cos i love thing like dat and have really lok 4ward for my own day,butnas God wil av it my own guy no propose to me he just called me and say he want his pple to come and met my parent and fit our wedding date my dear dat was how i got married.u see those two girls den day are stil single now and my marriage is ove 3years so my dear 4get dat ur engagement ring oooo d important thing der is love
I once got proposed to 2weeks after meeting a guy (creeped me out) but I didn't get carried away cos it made me study him closely and I found his ways weren't straight. I did hv a guy tell me he wanted to come meet my father I didn't take him seriously and he got upset and stopped talking to me ( for his pocket). Anyways he is married now and he happens to be the typical naija man that believes in meeting th girl's people and starting all the marital rites which in itself is an engagement. Well our forefathers didn't know what aan engagement ring way they did it by presenting visiting the brides father with a keg of palm wine and kolanut. Sha my own be say as long as the guy has done introduction that in itself is an engagement .... You can rightly sue him for breach of promise to marry if he doesn't follow thru. Again they are a lot of girls fooling themselves that they are engaged by wearing the so called engagement ring for 3 yrs when the guy has not even met the girl's siblings. So swerrie do not get overwhelmed with the whole engagement ring thing in as much as we would love to be proposed to in the most romantic way, it is not a base for a happily ever after marriage. I don talk my own.
yes of course,my husband did not give me a proposal ring, and will are happily married for 8 yrs now and will hv 3 children, what matter is that he love u and u too love him.
As long as he is serious and has chosen you to be his Wife. then you need not push it so it wouldn't seem as if that is all there is. True every woman would love love love to be proposed to in a romantic charming magical way kindda thing for some it comes true for other it doesn't. that shouldn't change anything Sweet. I wish you the best married life would offer
My muslim friend says they rarely do proposal or rings, u just meet the parents and fix date.
So its a questn of are u a muslim? I know a lot of people dat got married witout engagement ring, and I hav a friend that has d ring and can't get a date out of her fiancee. Proposal and eng ring leads to marriage but here u re abt to get married. Getting married to who u love and makes u happy is d koko
My dear, I believe you have gotten the answer you were looking for, from the above comments. However I will still put mine, engagement is not more important than the marriage. In as much as I would love to be proposed to, if a man gives me an engagement ring I will only wear it when he is around. I will not wear anybody's engagement ring again o until I'm married to him because of my past experience where a man gave me an engagement ring which I wore with all pleasure and when the marriage no come hold again my colleagues were making side comment at me and I tell you it wasnt fun. So my dear concentrate on the man and the marriage, ring is not a guarantee sef.
Hahahahahaha! Let me get this right. You've agreed to marry him, but you're upset because he hasn't asked you (after all that's what a proposal is right?).
So how the heck did you agree to marry him? In a dream?
However he asked you, and however you consented is the proposal right there.
I strongly believe people are misinterpreting the whole idea and point of an engagement ring. fairy tales have clouded our minds and heads on so many issues prior to marriage, we're so busy fantasising that we lose track of what is really important, which; the marriage.
A man gives you a ring to show interest that he would love to marry you officially but because he can’t do that right away he's putting a ring to secure his position.
Now if a man has already made the necessary plans to marry you, in other words; securing his position, please what exactly do you need an engagement ring for? To fulfil your childhood fantasy? Because I don’t see how not getting an engagement ring will hinder you from getting married or getting your wedding ring. Which is the only one God recognises anyway.
Do you know how many people have gotten engaged and never made it to marriage? Now are they supposed to sell off their rings?
I know of a girl who has been engaged to 3 men on 3 occasions...no marriage. I suppose you suggest she jump in a well. Why even bother yourself, you're eventually going to pun the ring in future when you need that quick extra cash flow anyways...and you wouldn’t even regret it. Lol.
Am neither engaged nor married but I strongly believe developing ways to maintain a happy marital home is far more important than an engagement ring.
...and yes I am a lady...and I am 27...and I am in a very serious relationship so I am not naive .
engagement ring!!!!!!!!!!! who doesnt like it but my dear if ur man is nt into it and u understands him den go ahead. i have a very close friend who has been wearing her engagement ring 4 5years now and d guy has nt even gone to see her people to even say hi. wat should bother u is. dos dis guy loves me? is he d bone of my bone? is d will of God?
My dear the important thing is not proposing nor the engagement ring. They are just for formality sake. The most important thing is "does he really love you".
In the time of our parents, there is nothing like engagement ring yet their marriages lasts more than marriages of today. But if you feel its necessary for you, then politely ask him or tease him about it and hear what he has to say. There are so many women out there waiting to grab your man if you leave him because of engagement ring.
I don't think you are ready to get married, just keep dating if you like your relationship, When the time is right , the proposal and ring will follow. #unseriouscouple
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my dear,i had my intro a month ago and i didnt have a proposal ring then.up until now,i still dont have one and im not bothered.what matters is the love that you both share.A ring is just an outward adornment that shows that you are committed to someone.look deep into your heart,what is of utmost importance to you?The intent of his heart or the pretence to want to please you.make up your mind dear,focus on what is ahead,plan to get the best engagement ring and wedding band for your wedding and be happy.cheers
Babe I want the same thing that you want: Engagement Ring. But am not going to wear it cos I've won one before and it didnt in Marriage so av made up my mind not to wear any. Afterall wedding ring comes with an engagement band these days. So wear am after marriage. Enuf said.
to tell the truth i didn't give my wife an engagement ring before the wedding BUT we had a wedding that people still can't stop talking about now, a year after and i still love my wife to bits. my point- forget the engagement ring, does he love you and can't function without you? if this is the case then please my dear get married to the man and live a happy married life
plentyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. u start a relationship and u guys get close,start talking about marriage and kids and meet the parents, then fix a date for intro bla bla bla. aimoye.
Cant stop laughing @these engagement ring thing.... Pls what does d ring do? Make his love stronger? Make him loyal? My dear forget that thing and marry your man, i got an engagement ring, but a year aftr marriage lost my wedding band n aftr 6 years entered wuse market n picked up another but guess what? My love for him has never changed and he has always cherished me as well... We went to dubai on hols he wanted getting me another i said no cos it was too expensive n i felt we could shop for d kids with dat money so pls pls pls put more effort @ treating him like a king...
my dear ,its very normal...over normal sef. Am married to handsome loving friend,father and husband with 2 georgous beautiful kids. he never ever proposed,neither do i have an engagement ring.
Lolz...I wasn't proposed to too, intro and wedding plans just kicked off by 'default' but before the trad, I just told him 'o boy I'm stil waiting for the grand proposal o, where is my ring?' I said it lightly but I wasn't joking, he got the gist and did the needful two days later at a very casual dinner. So it's safe to say I demanded for my ring.(I don't even know where it is right now because we got lovelier* wedding bands) We are almost 7 years and very happy.
My dear pls go ahead with your wedding preparations but tell him. I'm guessing you guys are not friends* that's why you've not told him. Please befriend him before the kids start coming if not he'll be friends with just the kids and you'll only be the mother*
But if you are his queen shouldnt he want to make you happy too?its a marriage and i believe both of you have to agree on what is best..maybe he has a suprise tho?hopefully..cos your happiness is his happiness right?he seems to be the one making the decisions..dont what you want count as his wife to be and partner?it should.Pray about it cos you dont want no controlling man forever.This is not only about the ring,it says more about the fact that he may not take your opinions into consideration which is NOT good cos 2moro will he?Well you should have known the type of man he is by now tho..is he your King?its your life,you know best the answers to the questions.All the best
My x fiance did the same ish the bastard called it off 6 months to the wedding but is all good i got me a new man who is eva romantic n av showed him the ring i want n he smiled hehe God is good o
Married 13 years and very happy. We could'nt afford the ring till two days before the wedding. We paid for a house weeks before and paid for our own weding in New York. Priority was in place, the love for each other was unquestionable.
My dear so many childhood fantasies never came to pass because we decided to settle for the real thing available.Forget the ring and marry the love of your life. My marriage is 12yrs and I didnt get a ring when he proposed but now i have 2 sets to wear. wish you the best.
well, am in the same boat too. my introduction is in 2 weeks but no ring yet.... i had always dreamt of a romantic proposal and i hope it happens before then.... God help me. lol
OMG i really dont get some of the comments. Why does she have to choose between a proposal (w a ring) and a happy married life? Why cant she have both? Him loving her is not a good enough criteria.. Na mouth.. He should want her happy and if that incl fulfilling a childhood fantasy he best should want to be the one making it come to pass.. Na wa o.. Really dont see why she should 'choose' to 'settle for less'. I really dont think she's asking for too much. It's what she wants!And if all he has to respond is laugh it off then there's a problem. The problem isnt the absence of the proposal or the ring it's his attitude towards her request. My dear, you deserve the best - how this manifests although is entirely down to you! It's your life. Call the shots! This isnt about bveing materialistic or childish or about having misplaced priorities. It's about the principle, the very foundation of every relationship - a commitment to each others wellbeing. In and out of good times. He's not even jumped this simple hurdle.. Just know that there'll be plenty more.
anonymous, hey sis, both the engagement and wedding rings are mere accessories and it has nothing to do with emotions. Just get your mind of it. People have worse scenarios, no engagement, no wedding, yet they live their lives together even with kids.A weird situation, yea i agree, but babez, forget that ring tingy, once he luvs u and u luv him, leave d rest 4 God and concentrate on how u intend 2 mk ur marriage a blessed and happy one. abi mk we exchange positions? lolllllll
You know, its really irritating the way many people have been saying "it doesn't mean anything" "its not important"...well, in the scheme of things its not as important as the marriage BUT i'm a huge proponent of expressing your feelings and being honest.
If you would like a ring just say: "hey *insert pet name*, I'm excited we're getting married but there's something I've always desired and I would really like in addition to us getting married...a nice engagement ring *insert huge smile*"
End of story!
If you feel strongly about it , its not a bad thing. just because many other women out there didn't get a ring doesn't mean you can't ask.
You have not cos you ask not. Just say the word. If he truly loves you and knows it'll make you happy, he'll get u one.
My dear,pls don't be overly bothered over such things joor. My wedding is in 2 weeks'time,my husband to be thinks the world of me,and believe me,dat's all dat really matters!
am sure our parents didn't do engagement before marriage...sum only did traditional marriage rites and later in life thet did blessing of Marriage..To me it means nothing!!!
dear,i understand how u feel to an extent....in my case, my hubby wanted to propose nd took me out bt my sis-in-law followd nd he was quite shy.after waitin so long for d right moment dt didnt come he brought out d ring nd said i shld jst say yes.yes to wat,if u come ask somtin terrible nko.lol...nyway,i literaly snatched d ring. i tink u shld av bin broachin d issue of lovin proposals,d type of ring u like etc wen u wer dating so he'l understand how much a proposal nd ring means to u.on d oda hand,he may be old-fashioned or shy,clueless etc.maybe u shld hint it to him lik dont u tink u shld giv me d engagement ring now cos my family nd frnds rily wnt to see it.try to be creative abt it......if its rily bugging you den u shld av it.above all,its d love dat matas .......
There is no biggie! Really, it is just a R-I-N-G! It does not make a marriage happy. Women want it to flaunt around and sell off incase the relationship fails. If you are worried of what your friends will say,buy a simple GL ring and put on. Wish you the best.
i am of the opinion that a man needs to ask for your hand in marriage whether its you he asks or your parents, whoever. Because it seems like Nigerian men of these days are using it to their advantage. Maybe in looking for an excuse to dash he might say "i never asked you to marry me anyway" or something stupid like that. But since you guys are actually planning the marriage ceremony he would have to say "I do" at some point, so hopefully its no biggie. There's also this tradition (I've only heard of it among the yoruba people) that you get an engagement ring on your engagement (traditional marriage) day so maybe he might be waiting for that. In all, I think you should be honest with him because this obviously bothers you and is making you feel weird about it. Let him give you an explanation why he has chosen not to propose to you. That you will like to be proposed to even if its without a ring, but some form of commitment or desire for you from him. If he really cares and see how much this means to you, and sees your concern of it being a trust issue then he may propose. If not, I say talk to your mom or guardian about it.
You're a very stupid fool. How do know linda hasn't been proposed to before. You look linda ikeji up and down and you think no man has ever proposed to her or that she's never been in a serious relationship, you're just so very stupid I don't even know what ro say again. Smh for u nigerians mehn!!
I believe that when a man makes his intentions known to a woman that he wants to marry her, its implied that he has made a proposal of some sort even though it is not formal. I believe you have also agreed to marry him and its implied in your actions because, his family will be meeting with yours. We women get carried away with the idea of proposal and getting down on one knee and stuff and there is nothing wrong with wanting that fantansy. But, truth be told, it is really not in our culture for a woman to be presented an engagement ring before marriage. it is all western influence. Its the wedding ring that is most important, my Dear.
well...i ddnt get a typical proposl, neither did i get an engagement ring(tho i wnted to pick mine my very self...yep alil vain). but i am married.make that happily married. truth is some guys just dnt have alll dt drama in them, they think its pretentious. whats important is that u have a fantastic rship. I wouldnt trade my man and marriage for a fancy proposal. so if its right just enjoy it. except u have doubts that the lack of a proposal is bringing to fore. diff strokes for diff folks babe.
I didnt get any marriage proposal too though i wanted it badly just like i use to see it in our homevideos.My husby only sent a text message to me that there is one word he's been keeping for me,,,i replied to ask what the word was and he said MY WIFE.......i felt somehow cos i expected more and it was after our introduction that i started wearing engagement ring........we hav been married for 3yrs now with 2 kids and so far so good,,its been awesome........so its not all about the ring or a NOLLYWOOD PROPOSAL but the person u're getting involved with....
My dear, i got married without an engegment ring, cos i told him not to bother since the wedding ring would come as a set, u ll get the enegegement, but since it has been ur life long dream, dats y u feel disappointed.
I didnt get an engagement ring. My husband even proposed to me over the phone!! 9 months of marriage have been great.It only gets better. Engagement ring is nothing, marriage is more important
i think Linda you should accept this that Diamond jewelries are very close to a women’s heart. Engagement is a special moment in any girl’s life. It is just like beginning of a new life for a girl. People all over the world use innovative methods, to propose their beloved.
I'm also in a long distance relationship and no formal proposals no engagement ring and we're planning to do our introduction very soon. I actually want an engagement ring on my introduction day.
I'm also in a long distance relationship and no formal proposals no engagement ring and we're planning to do our introduction very soon. I actually want an engagement ring on my introduction day.
258 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 258 of 258Hello sweetheart, men are not really romantic and are clueless most times. i almost did not get an engagement ring too but it meant so much to me, i dont know what would have happened to us if i didnt get. we talked about it and he did the needful and we are getting married in December :)
he didn't give me any oo!!!,I bought one for myself
Its not a big deal dear!! What matters is the marriage after the wedding and what u make out of it. Believe me, alot of women have had engagement rings and the same guys who gave the rings had them flung in their faces so its no big deal!! Just go into ur marriage with faith and trust in God to see u through. I don't know why he never proposed to u but if u both have a natural flow that led to the wedding n all, then that's fine. But pls, let the understanding be mutual- i do hope he is not pressured into marrying u though. Anyway,u MUST tell him how u feel about everything. Don't hide how u feel ok!!!
Like i said, trust God to make ur marriage work n He will see u through.
Congratulations and All the best!!!
Nuff Said!!!
he didn't give me any oo!!!,I bought one for myself after my wedding.
pls linda post my comment ..oooo my dear young lady, ring make no meaning provided u ar happy with d union. were a ring is highly necessary is on ur wedding day. as am talking 2 u now, my first wine carrier has been done by fience nd my traditional marriage is coming up by november nd yet he has not given me a ring nd we ar both madly in luv with each other. my dear, dont alow ur priorities 2 rub u off ur jewel... ook
Engagement rings are very nice to have but sometimes it is over-rated, remember that it is a westernised act, our great grand-fathers and grand-fathers got married without using rings etc. It is more important to have the heart of a man than the ring of a man because my dear, I have seen ladies have to return or throw away their engagement rings because the engagement/relationship was called off..... More emphasis should be placed on the non-material aspects of a relationship/marriage.
You that is talking, are u married? Why would u tell her to cancel the whole tin. Ur so daft! Proposal isn't important, she just fancies it. Wats important is the luv they shear. Pls go on with ur intro and don't mind this nuisance
So far everyone have spoken well on this matter.
My little contribution is that, you should forget the drama and face the basics; He loves you, respects you and wants to marry you. Dats d basic girl!
Let me ask you, do you know how many ladies have been proposed to without marriage? You are even lucky, no ring no proposal drama, but you are getting married anyway...
let me hear you say ohun! ohun!
GOOD TO KNOW AM NOT ALONE IN THIS,I CAN ABSOLUTELY RELATE TO UR PLIGHT COS AM IN SIMILAR SITUATION,BT AFTER SEVERAL FINDINGS I REALIZED IT RILY NOT A BIG DEAL,D MOST IMPT TIN IS TO BE CONVINCED D GUY LUVS U,LOT OF GIRLS WT ENGAGEMENT RINGS ARE NT EVEN AS HAPPY AS SOME OF US WTOUT IT.SO CALM DOWN N ENJOY UR MAN
ROBBS
You dumb ass! She isn't asking linda ikeji, she's seeking for our opinion. So stfu!
You that is talking, are u married? Why would u tell her to cancel the whole tin. Ur so daft! Proposal isn't important, she just fancies it. Wats important is the luv they shear. Pls go on with ur intro and don't mind this nuisance
It depends...how did you guys go from dating to getting married? Your post doesn't make it very clear. Did he say 'let's get married?' or what? (I'm assuming you didn't just decide in your head that you guys were getting married and go ahead to arrange an introduction...if you did, then I'd say pinch yourself and wake the hell up from that dream.) If you both agreed to be married and he's not the kind of person to be dramatic or overly romantic and in your gut you feel it's right, then I wouldn't worry about it too much. Don't be influenced by how other people want to be proposed to - I want a nice proposal myself but if the guy who's doing it is not that kind of person, a 'marry me' will suffice. After all, these days tons of people have overly dramatic proposals, big fat weddings, and find that their husbands or wives are cheating on them within a month. If you know the kind of person he is (is he a dramatic romanctic or more on the practical side? Is he willing to go out of his way to do cheesy stuff for you or is he not? That way you know if not giving you a ring is out of character for him, and you go with your instincts. Hope this helps.
I got married in 2008, and my husband never gave me an engagement ring. That does not mean he love me any less. It depends on what matters to you. I didn't take it as a necessity, what matters is the love u share.
my sister 4get dat ring thing oooo e no mata at all,i remembered when i was serving two of my hall mate got engage wit ring dat everyone was happy for dat even me cos i love thing like dat and have really lok 4ward for my own day,butnas God wil av it my own guy no propose to me he just called me and say he want his pple to come and met my parent and fit our wedding date my dear dat was how i got married.u see those two girls den day are stil single now and my marriage is ove 3years so my dear 4get dat ur engagement ring oooo d important thing der is love
I once got proposed to 2weeks after meeting a guy (creeped me out) but I didn't get carried away cos it made me study him closely and I found his ways weren't straight. I did hv a guy tell me he wanted to come meet my father I didn't take him seriously and he got upset and stopped talking to me ( for his pocket). Anyways he is married now and he happens to be the typical naija man that believes in meeting th girl's people and starting all the marital rites which in itself is an engagement. Well our forefathers didn't know what aan engagement ring way they did it by presenting visiting the brides father with a keg of palm wine and kolanut. Sha my own be say as long as the guy has done introduction that in itself is an engagement .... You can rightly sue him for breach of promise to marry if he doesn't follow thru. Again they are a lot of girls fooling themselves that they are engaged by wearing the so called engagement ring for 3 yrs when the guy has not even met the girl's siblings. So swerrie do not get overwhelmed with the whole engagement ring thing in as much as we would love to be proposed to in the most romantic way, it is not a base for a happily ever after marriage. I don talk my own.
yes of course,my husband did not give me a proposal ring, and will are happily married for 8 yrs now and will hv 3 children, what matter is that he love u and u too love him.
As long as he is serious and has chosen you to be his Wife. then you need not push it so it wouldn't seem as if that is all there is. True every woman would love love love to be proposed to in a romantic charming magical way kindda thing for some it comes true for other it doesn't. that shouldn't change anything Sweet. I wish you the best married life would offer
My muslim friend says they rarely do proposal or rings, u just meet the parents and fix date.
So its a questn of are u a muslim? I know a lot of people dat got married witout engagement ring, and I hav a friend that has d ring and can't get a date out of her fiancee. Proposal and eng ring leads to marriage but here u re abt to get married. Getting married to who u love and makes u happy is d koko
are you married?
if you are not shut the fuck up and stop destroying other peoples life!
dumbass.
My dear, I believe you have gotten the answer you were looking for, from the above comments. However I will still put mine, engagement is not more important than the marriage. In as much as I would love to be proposed to, if a man gives me an engagement ring I will only wear it when he is around. I will not wear anybody's engagement ring again o until I'm married to him because of my past experience where a man gave me an engagement ring which I wore with all pleasure and when the marriage no come hold again my colleagues were making side comment at me and I tell you it wasnt fun. So my dear concentrate on the man and the marriage, ring is not a guarantee sef.
Hahahahahaha!
Let me get this right. You've agreed to marry him, but you're upset because he hasn't asked you (after all that's what a proposal is right?).
So how the heck did you agree to marry him? In a dream?
However he asked you, and however you consented is the proposal right there.
My two pence...
I strongly believe people are misinterpreting the whole idea and point of an engagement ring. fairy tales have clouded our minds and heads on so many issues prior to marriage, we're so busy fantasising that we lose track of what is really important, which; the marriage.
A man gives you a ring to show interest that he would love to marry you officially but because he can’t do that right away he's putting a ring to secure his position.
Now if a man has already made the necessary plans to marry you, in other words; securing his position, please what exactly do you need an engagement ring for? To fulfil your childhood fantasy? Because I don’t see how not getting an engagement ring will hinder you from getting married or getting your wedding ring. Which is the only one God recognises anyway.
Do you know how many people have gotten engaged and never made it to marriage? Now are they supposed to sell off their rings?
I know of a girl who has been engaged to 3 men on 3 occasions...no marriage. I suppose you suggest she jump in a well. Why even bother yourself, you're eventually going to pun the ring in future when you need that quick extra cash flow anyways...and you wouldn’t even regret it. Lol.
Am neither engaged nor married but I strongly believe developing ways to maintain a happy marital home is far more important than an engagement ring.
...and yes I am a lady...and I am 27...and I am in a very serious relationship so I am not naive .
engagement ring!!!!!!!!!!! who doesnt like it but my dear if ur man is nt into it and u understands him den go ahead. i have a very close friend who has been wearing her engagement ring 4 5years now and d guy has nt even gone to see her people to even say hi. wat should bother u is. dos dis guy loves me? is he d bone of my bone? is d will of God?
My dear the important thing is not proposing nor the engagement ring. They are just for formality sake. The most important thing is "does he really love you".
In the time of our parents, there is nothing like engagement ring yet their marriages lasts more than marriages of today. But if you feel its necessary for you, then politely ask him or tease him about it and hear what he has to say. There are so many women out there waiting to grab your man if you leave him because of engagement ring.
Hello My Sweet Linda,
I don't think you are ready to get married, just keep dating if you like your relationship, When the time is right , the proposal and ring will follow. #unseriouscouple
just for laughs visit, Too Funny talking9japictures.blogspot.com
my dear,i had my intro a month ago and i didnt have a proposal ring then.up until now,i still dont have one and im not bothered.what matters is the love that you both share.A ring is just an outward adornment that shows that you are committed to someone.look deep into your heart,what is of utmost importance to you?The intent of his heart or the pretence to want to please you.make up your mind dear,focus on what is ahead,plan to get the best engagement ring and wedding band for your wedding and be happy.cheers
Babe I want the same thing that you want: Engagement Ring. But am not going to wear it cos I've won one before and it didnt in Marriage so av made up my mind not to wear any.
Afterall wedding ring comes with an engagement band these days. So wear am after marriage. Enuf said.
to tell the truth i didn't give my wife an engagement ring before the wedding BUT we had a wedding that people still can't stop talking about now, a year after and i still love my wife to bits. my point- forget the engagement ring, does he love you and can't function without you? if this is the case then please my dear get married to the man and live a happy married life
plentyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. u start a relationship and u guys get close,start talking about marriage and kids and meet the parents, then fix a date for intro bla bla bla. aimoye.
Cant stop laughing @these engagement ring thing.... Pls what does d ring do? Make his love stronger? Make him loyal? My dear forget that thing and marry your man, i got an engagement ring, but a year aftr marriage lost my wedding band n aftr 6 years entered wuse market n picked up another but guess what? My love for him has never changed and he has always cherished me as well... We went to dubai on hols he wanted getting me another i said no cos it was too expensive n i felt we could shop for d kids with dat money so pls pls pls put more effort @ treating him like a king...
my dear ,its very normal...over normal sef. Am married to handsome loving friend,father and husband with 2 georgous beautiful kids. he never ever proposed,neither do i have an engagement ring.
Lolz...I wasn't proposed to too, intro and wedding plans just kicked off by 'default' but before the trad, I just told him 'o boy I'm stil waiting for the grand proposal o, where is my ring?' I said it lightly but I wasn't joking, he got the gist and did the needful two days later at a very casual dinner. So it's safe to say I demanded for my ring.(I don't even know where it is right now because we got lovelier* wedding bands)
We are almost 7 years and very happy.
My dear pls go ahead with your wedding preparations but tell him. I'm guessing you guys are not friends* that's why you've not told him. Please befriend him before the kids start coming if not he'll be friends with just the kids and you'll only be the mother*
But if you are his queen shouldnt he want to make you happy too?its a marriage and i believe both of you have to agree on what is best..maybe he has a suprise tho?hopefully..cos your happiness is his happiness right?he seems to be the one making the decisions..dont what you want count as his wife to be and partner?it should.Pray about it cos you dont want no controlling man forever.This is not only about the ring,it says more about the fact that he may not take your opinions into consideration which is NOT good cos 2moro will he?Well you should have known the type of man he is by now tho..is he your King?its your life,you know best the answers to the questions.All the best
My x fiance did the same ish the bastard called it off 6 months to the wedding but is all good i got me a new man who is eva romantic n av showed him the ring i want n he smiled hehe God is good o
Married 13 years and very happy. We could'nt afford the ring till two days before the wedding. We paid for a house weeks before and paid for our own weding in New York. Priority was in place, the love for each other was unquestionable.
My dear so many childhood fantasies never came to pass because we decided to settle for the real thing available.Forget the ring and marry the love of your life. My marriage is 12yrs and I didnt get a ring when he proposed but now i have 2 sets to wear. wish you the best.
well, am in the same boat too. my introduction is in 2 weeks but no ring yet.... i had always dreamt of a romantic proposal and i hope it happens before then.... God help me. lol
OMG i really dont get some of the comments.
Why does she have to choose between a proposal (w a ring) and a happy married life? Why cant she have both?
Him loving her is not a good enough criteria.. Na mouth.. He should want her happy and if that incl fulfilling a childhood fantasy he best should want to be the one making it come to pass..
Na wa o..
Really dont see why she should 'choose' to 'settle for less'.
I really dont think she's asking for too much. It's what she wants!And if all he has to respond is laugh it off then there's a problem. The problem isnt the absence of the proposal or the ring it's his attitude towards her request.
My dear, you deserve the best - how this manifests although is entirely down to you! It's your life. Call the shots!
This isnt about bveing materialistic or childish or about having misplaced priorities. It's about the principle, the very foundation of every relationship - a commitment to each others wellbeing. In and out of good times. He's not even jumped this simple hurdle.. Just know that there'll be plenty more.
anonymous,
hey sis, both the engagement and wedding rings are mere accessories and it has nothing to do with emotions. Just get your mind of it. People have worse scenarios, no engagement, no wedding, yet they live their lives together even with kids.A weird situation, yea i agree, but babez, forget that ring tingy, once he luvs u and u luv him, leave d rest 4 God and concentrate on how u intend 2 mk ur marriage a blessed and happy one. abi mk we exchange positions? lolllllll
Na wa o, so na nigerians them be like gentlemen so? No curse curse ? This one surprise me o !
You know, its really irritating the way many people have been saying "it doesn't mean anything" "its not important"...well, in the scheme of things its not as important as the marriage BUT i'm a huge proponent of expressing your feelings and being honest.
If you would like a ring just say:
"hey *insert pet name*, I'm excited we're getting married but there's something I've always desired and I would really like in addition to us getting married...a nice engagement ring *insert huge smile*"
End of story!
If you feel strongly about it , its not a bad thing. just because many other women out there didn't get a ring doesn't mean you can't ask.
You have not cos you ask not. Just say the word. If he truly loves you and knows it'll make you happy, he'll get u one.
My dear,pls don't be overly bothered over such things joor. My wedding is in 2 weeks'time,my husband to be thinks the world of me,and believe me,dat's all dat really matters!
my dear, its better sef. pick out a ring yourself and show him how its done. most guys dont know oh. sometimes you just have take the lead.
am sure our parents didn't do engagement before marriage...sum only did traditional marriage rites and later in life thet did blessing of Marriage..To me it means nothing!!!
dear,i understand how u feel to an extent....in my case, my hubby wanted to propose nd took me out bt my sis-in-law followd nd he was quite shy.after waitin so long for d right moment dt didnt come he brought out d ring nd said i shld jst say yes.yes to wat,if u come ask somtin terrible nko.lol...nyway,i literaly snatched d ring. i tink u shld av bin broachin d issue of lovin proposals,d type of ring u like etc wen u wer dating so he'l understand how much a proposal nd ring means to u.on d oda hand,he may be old-fashioned or shy,clueless etc.maybe u shld hint it to him lik dont u tink u shld giv me d engagement ring now cos my family nd frnds rily wnt to see it.try to be creative abt it......if its rily bugging you den u shld av it.above all,its d love dat matas .......
There is no biggie!
Really, it is just a R-I-N-G!
It does not make a marriage happy.
Women want it to flaunt around and sell off incase the relationship fails.
If you are worried of what your friends will say,buy a simple GL ring and put on.
Wish you the best.
i am of the opinion that a man needs to ask for your hand in marriage whether its you he asks or your parents, whoever. Because it seems like Nigerian men of these days are using it to their advantage. Maybe in looking for an excuse to dash he might say "i never asked you to marry me anyway" or something stupid like that.
But since you guys are actually planning the marriage ceremony he would have to say "I do" at some point, so hopefully its no biggie.
There's also this tradition (I've only heard of it among the yoruba people) that you get an engagement ring on your engagement (traditional marriage) day so maybe he might be waiting for that.
In all, I think you should be honest with him because this obviously bothers you and is making you feel weird about it. Let him give you an explanation why he has chosen not to propose to you. That you will like to be proposed to even if its without a ring, but some form of commitment or desire for you from him. If he really cares and see how much this means to you, and sees your concern of it being a trust issue then he may propose. If not, I say talk to your mom or guardian about it.
You're a very stupid fool. How do know linda hasn't been proposed to before. You look linda ikeji up and down and you think no man has ever proposed to her or that she's never been in a serious relationship, you're just so very stupid I don't even know what ro say again. Smh for u nigerians mehn!!
I believe that when a man makes his intentions known to a woman that he wants to marry her, its implied that he has made a proposal of some sort even though it is not formal. I believe you have also agreed to marry him and its implied in your actions because, his family will be meeting with yours. We women get carried away with the idea of proposal and getting down on one knee and stuff and there is nothing wrong with wanting that fantansy. But, truth be told, it is really not in our culture for a woman to be presented an engagement ring before marriage. it is all western influence. Its the wedding ring that is most important, my Dear.
just tell him about it and make it a condition b4 d marriage holds evn if u dont mean it, mayb he doesnt even know dat's wat u want
well...i ddnt get a typical proposl, neither did i get an engagement ring(tho i wnted to pick mine my very self...yep alil vain). but i am married.make that happily married.
truth is some guys just dnt have alll dt drama in them, they think its pretentious. whats important is that u have a fantastic rship. I wouldnt trade my man and marriage for a fancy proposal. so if its right just enjoy it. except u have doubts that the lack of a proposal is bringing to fore.
diff strokes for diff folks babe.
I didnt get any marriage proposal too though i wanted it badly just like i use to see it in our homevideos.My husby only sent a text message to me that there is one word he's been keeping for me,,,i replied to ask what the word was and he said MY WIFE.......i felt somehow cos i expected more and it was after our introduction that i started wearing engagement ring........we hav been married for 3yrs now with 2 kids and so far so good,,its been awesome........so its not all about the ring or a NOLLYWOOD PROPOSAL but the person u're getting involved with....
The wedding ring carries engagement ring so naija guys dont bother to buy an engagement ring since it will be included in their wedding ring set.
My dear, i got married without an engegment ring, cos i told him not to bother since the wedding ring would come as a set, u ll get the enegegement, but since it has been ur life long dream, dats y u feel disappointed.
I didnt get an engagement ring. My husband even proposed to me over the phone!! 9 months of marriage have been great.It only gets better. Engagement ring is nothing, marriage is more important
i think Linda you should accept this that Diamond jewelries are very close to a women’s heart. Engagement is a special moment in any girl’s life. It is just like beginning of a new life for a girl. People all over the world use innovative methods, to propose their beloved.
I'm also in a long distance relationship and no formal proposals no engagement ring and we're planning to do our introduction very soon. I actually want an engagement ring on my introduction day.
I'm also in a long distance relationship and no formal proposals no engagement ring and we're planning to do our introduction very soon. I actually want an engagement ring on my introduction day.
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