From a LIB reader
Before I begin, I'm 33 yrs old, full-time single mother to a beautiful 8 month old girl. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years.The beginning of our relationship was great, perfect, we both love sex sometimes we have 2 or 3 times in a night until l started having some weird changes in my private part, increase in vaginal discharges and pain during sexual intercourse. l went to the hospital ,took some test and resort came out that i have Chlamdia (sexually transmitted disease). The honest truth is that l never had sex in 13 years. He knows it and he is the first guy I had unprotected sex with when we met .l kindly sat him down and asked him if he has had Chalmdia before or has had any unprotected with another woman.
He got angry, shouted, denied, pointed finger at me and accused me of cheating and having disease, OMG men. Was speechless, disturbed and cried. I do not know any other man that has touched me at all. l've done everything to prove my loyalty, love, respect,
Second issue. Was diagnosed of fabriod last two years and i told my close friend and she adviced me not to tell him but since i love him i couldn't keep it as secret, so l told him. He promised me that we will get married and start a family and convinced me to get pregnant which i did after 5 months. As soon as i got pregnant his mood changed. i struggled alone from day 1 until the baby gal was born last year.We have never had sex for the past one year seven months now. He refused me completely even when i try.
He moved out from our apartment and visit us once in 2 or 3 weeks or even a month. We had misunderstanding last week and he told me that I'm ungrateful because he has done me good by giving me a child because the doctor said I can't any kids. He sent me a break up text message three days ago. l realize I'm losing myself with a lot of thoughts. I am stuck on the qualities he has shown me, great man, affectionate, loving, hard working, but why does he lose control when it comes to me? Please help me.
Ms Q
244 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 244 of 244He is probably seeing another person is my view. U also made it easy for him to dump u, why allow him get u preggy outta wedlock? Men cannot be tied down by babies even u succeed in doing that, they will ever hate u.
My advice my dear is to move on, difficult as it seems. There is nothing there for u anymore. Get closer to God, focus on rebuilding YOU and ur baby. Be selfish for once and find happiness in urself, the right guy will come.
All d best.
Sorry I pity u but Life is not lost instead it goes on. Although such is life but at d same time summon courage pray to God to help u and take care of yourself and your daughter.
great man? are you serious? nah luv. he's not great. he's awful, been awful since u were diagnosed with the STD. even before that but you didnt know that did you?
My sister just put yourself together and seek for divine assistance of God first and pray over it...find out if he's going out with another babe, My God will show you the way out.
Linda, im very upset about you. I take my time to give this lady a good advice, but you don't publish it, this is rubish!
Move ONNNN he will never have a child again Mark my words for the way he is treating you.
Get you life back join a good church and move on my dear
Anon 12:03am, its unfair and mean when someone nneds an advice n u pple start blaming in an abusive way. u think that the lady doesn't know she has probably made a mistake? d deed has already been done and what she needs now is advice and words of encouragement not making her feel worse.nobody is perfect biko so take it easy and be more sensitive. now to d issue, my dear sister just move on. u are permitted to cry, droll, shut out d world and rediscover urself.but whatever happens bounce back n be strong for ur daughter. God will surely see u thru. *hugs*
Na wa o! Dere r obviously oda posts! U DO NOT av 2 open dis 1! It's nt by force 2 read it!
Serzly? I doubt a fourteen year old boy knws who linda is! Wen he'll b thinkn ow 2 get 2 palms or elegusi beach! Or play vid games! It may seem cooked up 2 u, bt dere r loadz of ppl wit issues in dis lyf n did may jst help dem!
Na wa o! Dere r obviously oda posts! U DO NOT av 2 open dis 1! It's nt by force 2 read it!
there are somethings going on with that guy which i will advise the lady to ask the guy's family to me knw more....and second side of it is, ow do u guys meet @ the first place?, we just need to judge tinz with clear picture of wat happen btw you guys not ones feeling about this issue.
Beloved one life is not full of roses but with different conditions. I believe that what ever we all say will not change anything but ask yourself what u want in life? Then summit it to God as a request, you will see it coming to pass.Shalom
Hmmmmmmmmmm, this is a sad story, but i think this is a wake up call. this should be a challenge for you cos you now have a baby. you should begin to think more of your self and the baby than what he can do for you cos all along that was wat you were doing which gradually gave him an edge over you. you were born in this world without him and you survived until you met him without even having sex so, i think you can make it. though you are hurt but you will still shine especially now that you have a prety baby girl. also pray now than never for God to direct you.
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Well my dear ur case is quite pathetic....I mean he gave u SSSTTTDDDD.....and did not apologize...as in he denied.....hmm... n u stayed der and NONSENSELY agreed to get preg for him....without putting a ring in ur finger.. ....I mean y wudnt he deny u d second tym....even Simon Peter denied Jesus 3rice....
As for advice, d only ones available is dat u do d following;
1. Ask God for forgiveness of sins(fornication) by praying remorsefully. Do ds oh or else ur prayers no go pass ur ceiling.
2. Ask God to give u a strong heart to endure n live happily.
3. Joyfully take care of dat cutie uv got.....cos she's ur source of hope.
**chynell**
y was my comment nt published?linda u b scam
@anon 8.52am Educate yourself please. Chlamydia is curable.
You started having sex before you turned 15???
cos by my calcuations, youre 33,been datimg this dude for 5 years and you not had sex in 15 years.
Well.... not to judge, no one can tell the circumstances in which you had your first sex.
Ms Q, i had a similar story to you, if i can move on after thinking i would die if i broke-up with my own scenario, so can you. You never receive if your hands are full, empty your hands, accept yourself, your past, your weaknesses, open yourself to the only being who can see you naked and still care for you unconditionally, God our father, through His Love (Jesus). Just keep your heart, ways and tongue free from evil. Love Me
My dear writer,
Permit me to give my advise to you as objectively and truthfully as I can. You can have a baby with a man, you can have a good time and good sex with a man, you can have a great man in your life with all the qualities you have ever prayed for, you can have a man that will put food on the table, settle his babay's bills, you can have a man that seem to be the next best thing after the beattles, you can have all this and still move on with your life if anything turns that angel into a monster, BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
you marry a monster, you are doomed for life< you loose your self worth, you start feeling ugly, you are trapped. it may lead to divorce. is that what you really want? a divorce, then anoda man, another set of kids, then anoda divorce etc.
What am I saying; that guy is the best thing you never had.(listen to beyonce's song with that title).
my advice
1. forget about him and you coming together, he is not worthy of you
2. apparently, he has wounded you seriously so you need a comeback. start to feel sexy and womanly again. chnage your wardrobe, go on a diet(if u have put on weight, u seriously need to consider this to boost your self confidence: brose suitable diets on the net), get a new hair cut, get a new car(if u can afford it), take a trip to a quiet plae to reflect, detoxify your emotions
3. Know that only one person should occupy the i-cany-do-without-you chair of your life, God!. remember the woman that died with 6 of her family members on dana, the brother she came to Nig for his wedding went ahead and gpot married. You are not indispensable, neither is anyone else.
To crown it all, give your life to Christ. he will nurture it with tender care and Heaven helps whoever tries to hurt you.
You are beutiful sister, take your life back.
- Olah
Furious.
Is this a joke or what? Oh you do really think that pic is the lady's? Kai, you be otondo dopemu jjc.
Alright i am going to address this issue once and for all. Young lady you are having chlamydia and it is not a viral infection it is bacteria. it is perfectly treatable and you having fibroid does not mean that you can not conceive fibroid is treatable either you go see your gyna for surgery or you get it dissolved you will conceive so top bothering yourself and as for the punk arse idiot dump is stupid arse you will fair better
at 33 u r still into boyfrnd,na wa 4 u o no commitment n u remain.its clear gal he dnt love u... so move on n stop thinking bout d gud days..i just wonder wen u r goin to realize dat d bitch played u or u r probably waiting 4 him to speak it in ur dialet dat its ova....get ova urself gal
linda waitin i do u na....dey post my comment or else i go vex n wen i do u no waitin dat one mean.u r just very very annoying.post direct dats hw dey do it bt u go dey edit am......mteeeeeeeew
you really have a child to live for........ Be wise my dear
hmmmm! Speechless topic i must confess, can't blame you, we are all human beings, i'm a guy can't trust myself but trust GOD so much...At least you can give lessons...topic: Why You Should Wait For Before Having Sex With Your Wedded,Wife or Husband. Plus i learnt a lesson here...My girlfriend, one and only shd be faithful to her only...No affairs, No housegirl,No Lover, No Fuck-buddy, No friends with Benefit ....If then i become so horny, i'll marry her immediately and sleep with her. GOD will heal ya wounds...He and Baby are all you've got now.
Let it go. Go and pray to you Lord for strength to accept that your ex-boyfriend is a liar and not a good man for you. Pray to God to give you the strength to forgive him and move on with your life.
Women, sometimes you don't have to tell your men everything just because you love them. If you love a man, you need to understand how he thinks. Your man took the information that you have fibroids before to a friend, who probably told him the lie that you can't have any kids. Your man is un-educated. Next time he calls you ungrateful, slap the shit outta him for me and call him ungrateful, liar, cheat, fake, unappreciative, non-godfearing man that he is and let him that you are a great woman; Abeg stand up with ur head high. You are in denial right now with all the great personality u said u saw in him. Pray for strength to let it go.
The man aint human @ all. Even if it's for the sake of the kid. Haba! This is what happens when you let a man 'brand' you. He's not serious with you, (only in it for sex) and hampers the chances of other men interested in you, by blocking on them with his macho presence, and wanting to be seen with you in places that don't matter. You may call it cheating, I call it 'keeping my options open' I'm still a virgin (Glory to God) lol, so you can't tie me down with sex. My Sis, if u r truly repentant, move on from here with ur kiddo. This kain man fit "Kelvin" you in d near future.
the mistake you made was going ahead to get pregnant for him out of wedlock. you shudnt have considered that as an option. you took a risk and now you have to bear the consequence. In regards to the chlamydia issue, he was obviously messing around with someone who had chlamydia because there is no other explanation as to how you could have possibly gotten it since you claim to have been faithful to him. well u have no choice than to go on with your life na, it doesn't look like he is interested in you anymore. Next time be wise, alert and very careful. Men are not always what they seem.
if you need to be cured . Call 08124706846
Hi.Its simple and clear dat he doesn't want u anymore. d no1 mistake u made was having sex with him. Sex out of wedlock is not a guarantee dt he would marry u and its not a way 2 show u love sm1(if ur married it cld be)Now that the guy has bailed on u,i know someone who will NEVER bail on u. His name is JESUS CHRIST. His ready 2 accept u, 2 wipe away ur past, pain, sorrow and regrets. All u need to do 2 av access 2 dat is ACCEPT HIM AS UR LORD AND PERSONAL SAVIOR. All u need to bring up ur cute daughter the Lord will provide AMEN.
ma dear, its gonna b difficult initially to live without him, but with time, u wud get used to it. dnt worry God will giv u d grace to carry on in life. the truth is the guy doesnt love u anymore, no man who loves a woman wud abadone her and a baby. what is not urs will never b urs, no matter how long u ve been in the relationship. God is ur comfort ok.
I think the only challenge you face now is thinking of life without the man you have spent 5yrs with, I truly envy you and your proud position as a mother! If only you knew how many women out there who envy you, who wish they had been bold enough to keep there's rather than doing otherwise, all you need now is standing up and moving on. Nothing do you, fibroid is not d end of the world n can also be removed, and u already hav a baby to spite d situation *thumbs up* as for some stupid pple who see Ur situation as a pathetic one, they just being Nigerian, rotten and black, but always calling d kettle "dirty" .
So I commented earlier telling you to get treatment. But as I read some of the comments, I am compelled to speak to the emotional aspect. I once dated a guy that I was head over heels in love with. Only problem - he was too handsome and a museum piece. Every damned bitch wanted him. Some would know I was at his house on a weekend and still come a-knocking. They will see me in his house wearing his knickers and they would still sit in the corner and pout. Initially, he had his gal repellant on. Then he started telling me he could not see me today and next tomorrow. THen one day I answered his home phone and some biatch asked me who the hell I was. I wanted more gist, so I told her I was his sister. She said, well you tell him I am waiting for him this evening at some address she rattled off. Fine. He returned and would you believe I gave him the address. I wanted to study his reaction. THen he said I dont know the girl and I lost it. I told him nicely (cos when I fight I dont scream because I have lots of acrid words that need to be heard and digested)that he needed to shut the F+&k up and let me know how the sex was with her. He thought I was joking. Then he said you really want me to tell you how I got my pants down and all. And I said yes. THen he said I was sick. I told him "You are sicker! you just confessed to sleeping around". I told him to keep his freaking D*&k to himself. I was HAUTE babe at the time. I was uber cute and I had about 5 guys hot on my tail and he was F..ing someone else! Well, one day we approached the climax of this cheating issue. He told me he was breaking up with me. I said fine initially but I did love him. So I know he had made new friends he was hanging out with. I was super sure that the basis of that friendship was sex with cheap girls because he was their intellectual superior. So I called one of them and asked if I could stop by his house to "beg for my boyfriend". He said yes, I went there and the dude came into the house alone, was so shocked to see me, he started physically pushing me to leave. Unusual behavior since we were not at that level of animosity. Only explanation I have today is I was going to catch him in the act. Lest I take up space, after that incident, my friends kept running into yellow girls in his car that looked like me cos I am yellow and they would report back. They saw him in clubs and all kinda places. I had a gift to him. He never knew I was a citizen of a western country. I had that chip in my back pocket because I was used to getting bad marriage proposals based on my dual nationality. I bought a Swissair ticket to get the frigging hell outta there. I moved on honey. After 6 weeks, when he was done f..ing all the girls he wanted to, he came back to my house to beg. THen he took me to lunch. I said, homey - I am taking my break now. I am going to obodo oyibo and if I feel like returning, I will talk to you. Left that bag of shit and he has never recovered. I was the best thing to happen to him since sliced bread. He tells me himself. Married to some chic and they dont have half my luck. MOVE ON HONEY. It hurts to move on but the question to ask is if you are the one who gave him an STD, how would he feel? Let us stop being victims - Naija women that is. We are fierce, smart, strong and sure footed and "we cute". F*&k all those museum pieces and the uber ugly ones that dont know their place. Peace out!
Please read the book. The Lady, Her lover and Her LORD. It is well with you
Since u are 33. I thonk by now u are old enough to take care of yourself and d baby,let him be and remain focused.. dont do anything silly cos people need dat baby
Any breakup is a blessing in disguise bcos It is good to enjoy a broken relationship than to suffer a divorced marriage. Thats not the end of the world. Keep the FAITH ALIVE and move on..... To the young ladies SEX is not an evidence to PROVE that your GUY LOVES U. Rather he's exploiting Ur natural resources illegally!!!! This is clear" MOST MEN END UP NOT MARRYING THEIR SEX MACHINES" SO LADIES B KIAFULL!!!!
If we will teach ourselves some dignity and pride and stop "straffing" and getting pregnant before marriage, these chop-clean-mouth attitude in men will reduce. But we can't keep our pants on and use our common sense can we?
What can we say besides "Sorry, try and move on for the love of your daughter"?
baby pls clean you eye that guy is not worth your tears
just wash you face with your urine for three day you will see that that guy will become history in you eyes
all i need you to do is think about the future and that of your baby and work towards it.
my dear better guy will come your way,you are a fine girl dont worry God has a better packaging for you ok.
forget he God has a better plan for you
allow urself to feel what u feel;
accept responsibilities for ur faults;
forgive urself;
forgive him- collect the offense from the offender;
dont numb the pain with any distractions, rather focus ways to luv urself mur each day. do the things that mek u happy;
seek comfort and consolation frm God for He is everly close to the broken hearted;
I promise u by the time u remember, ud hv frgttn d hurt- myt take time tho, bt wld defintly hppn.
finally, wen lyf remuvs smtn frm u, it is nt helpful to chase it nd get it back. and sometyms u dnt hv to chase it, dey come bk on deir own and when they do, girlfriend, uv gotta 'spray it off'(as in really spray if off like ud do a roach), lol!
LESSON: when people show u who dey are, accept them dt way and do nt make excuses for dem. u CAN never CHANGE them. much luv frm a sister.
Hey hey ! I see another GOLDIE oooooo......
Is this story a real one,or is created by auntie linda to generate comments?if is real,u will survive,do not worry,u hv been too use to him,now is time to let him know u can do better wt out him,equally i think he is not good enough.U will be just fine.
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