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Wednesday 8 June 2011

Dear LIB Readers: How Do I Move Forward?

I am really confused, i don't know what to do right now..I have known my husband for 10 years now,so we finally got married last year September,everything was going on fine with us.A month to the wedding i got pregnant for him but unfortunately i had a still birth at 7month.While i was grieving the death of my baby i found out that my husband's mistress just had a baby for him and this particular girl was my friend, she was even there at our wedding.
 
I called my hubby to confirm from him and he told me yes that she was pregnant before he got married to me.I even found out that he had rented apartment for her and the baby in Lagos,he apologized to me that the so called lady seduced him and i told him that i would only forgive him on one condition that is if hes willing to relocate with me to UK to start our lives all over again  and he told me that he doesn't want to relocate that he prefers to stay in Lagos(he doesn't have a good job,i do provide for the family)we are separated now but am so upset because i lost my baby and my marriage is not up to a year. How do i move forward?

86 comments:

Anonymous said...

msceeew

Ego said...

are you seriously asking how you should move forward? okay, remain where you are.

Precious said...

Sweetheart, relocation means running away from your shadows.what if she relocates too, will you re-relocate?a lot of things are unhealthy about your relationship and the fact that you cater to his needs yet he can afford a flat for his concubine and possibly furnish it is a major problem and it says more that you are willing to admit.
This is my advise:
All relations with the woman must be supervised by you or someone you appoint cos you cannot stop him from seeing his child.Volunteer to take the child at a certain age and he severes all ties with the woman or the woman can take care of her child herself and refute every gain she may be getting from her husband. This is what i would have done if i am in your shoes but then again I dont know what kind of man you are married to and what kind of relationship exists between you two.

Chika** said...

Dang! I don't know. Talk to your parens and pray to God for Guidance.SOme Naija men sha. That is the reason why a lot of them are relocating home. They want a place where they are free to do whatever they like. God save us ALL

Anonymous said...

U did not give much details about why he does not want to move to the UK, and why you want you guys to relocate to the UK.
A simple word of advice, its in your place to get your husband back and start your family afresh.

God will help you heal the hurt and start afresh.

Anonymous said...

First of all, congratulations for having the guts to leave that guy. Not only did he make a 'mistake' and impregnate your friend, he was using your money to cater for her. Time heals wounds, i suggest you go out more, meet up with old friends, sign up for different activities (sewing classes , make up school) and most importantly PRAY and FORGIVE him. If you dont forgive him , this thing will have a hold over you for life. So forgive him( and the baby mama) just to FREE yourself.

Anonymous said...

How are we supposed to help you exactly? You sef, you don't see that you're not wanted or even respected? He has made a choice by saying he wants to stay in Lagos. Cut your losses and see this as a blessing in tattered clothing and leave him.

Anonymous said...

First off, my heart goes out to you at the pain you must be suffering now, my advise to you is to seek God's counsel at a time like this and you would come to the decision on your own. This man must be really callous because not only did he have an affair, it was with your friend! Do not worry too much as that 'friend' would get what is coming to her. And for you, you must pray and immerse yourself in God's word for there lies your answer. Finally, be certain in your heart that at the end of this all, everything would work out for your good.

Anonymous said...

You can certainly move forward. Move forward now! We spend too much time regretting the past when we can live our lives now. You've still got your whole life ahead of you and you can start afresh with someone else.

Everything happens for a reason. God is sparing you a lifetime of disappointment with this man. If I were you, I will grab my opportunity for happiness with both hands, walk through that open door and never look back.

jumi said...

obviously he is using you for the cash, if you wanted an honest answer you wouldnt have included that you pay his bills, now all i can see is him using you and the real family he wants is with that lady. Any man would love to live with his wife, and to top it all, you live in the UK, thats like a good side attraction. I just think you should wake up and judge the issue personally, no one will tell you what is best for you, everyone here will come up to tell you to leave him, if we all leave our men after every problem, every marriage will end up into divorce. Take your time and see what happens, I think now that you are hurting, he is supposed to come by your side begging for you to forgive him, but i see he is very busy with his new baby and mistress.

seun said...

My dear,
Im sorry about the death of your baby.
Please gather your self and move on with life.
Infact the friends we keep these days will not kill us.
I'll advise you forgive your husband except he has done something similar to that in the past.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmm, this is an interesting one. I am so sorry about the situation with your past pregnancy.

Now, your husband was sleeping with you and your friend while you were prepping for the wedding. There is nothing like she seduced him, did she force him with a gun? He was a willing accomplice.

Relocating to Afghanistan is not going to change the fact that this man has responsibility to this child that he helped bring into this world. Don't try to run away from this, it is his duty to be a good father to that child, no matter the circumstances under which he/she was conceived. You might go to the UK and he decides he wants to spread his seed there too. Its not Naija that is your problem, its Mr Hot Pants.

The decision to move forward is up to you. You have known each other for a decade? Did you date for a decade? is this the first instance of stepping out (I highly doubt it). I am not one to push for divorce, I am not even sure if this is considered part of for better or for worse.

Your marriage is brand spanking new, do you want to save yourself the drama? Do you feel he is truly remorseful? Do you feel he will be able to take care of this child without having an affair with the mother? Can you truly forgive him and continue building your marriage? Can you accept this child and love him/her, because he is a part of your life as long as you and Hot Pants are married. Marriage is a different ball game and one can't treat it like a bf/gf situation.

In this case though, you married a fraud. A man that was unfaithful even before you married him. If you decide to stay, continue taking STD tests...you can never tell where he has been. Keep praying for your marriage. All hope might not be lost (I am trying to be optimistic here). You should make sure this man is willing to turn a new leaf, your forgiveness should not be based on some plot to run away to another country. That will not solve anything.

Anonymous said...

The best advice I can give you is to seek God in this troubled times and stick by your husband. Men are dogs, its very well known in our society. The next man you meet might be worse, pray for directions and keep your head up!

Anonymous said...

Ok I'm starting to believe Linda you make these stuff up.

The stories keep getting more twisted with each new post.

na like that person dey move go jand?Move to jand and do what.....

If it is true abeg carry go. People need to stop jumping into marriage blindly and then crying later.Marriage is one of the most important decisions you will make in life and its disturbing to see that people do little or no research but jump into it.

If you wan go do heart surgery, you will investigate dr, investigate hospital, investigate everything. same applies to school. But yet marriage pple go just jump in and then start to complain later

chi chi said...

mehn. what a stinker!. well, i'm not married yet, so my opinion might be viewed as inexperienced, but i tink that you shud first consider your feelings; your feelings for your husband, the child that's gonna be in your lives forever, and if you can ever forgive him or not. this is so difficult because of the child involved (especially d resentment you must feel after loosing your own child), so it's not just infidelity. *sigh sadly*. As a christian, i'm advising that you seek a solution first before giving up.

Ogey said...

wow!...it is well with u my dear... just pray for Gods direction and gladly move on..thers a reason u lost ur baby.. God is watchin over u.. take it easy...

smog said...

my sister you need to pray hard against the manipulation of the devil.God will surely se you through.your hussy will come back to you.

Anonymous said...

You call bs for many reasons. Including but not limited to her claim that the dude got the other lady a place, but she's the one who handles the financial burden for each home...

Anonymous said...

my dear, u have 2 move on with ur life. its painful but u have 2 put urself 2geda.may God give u d strenght.

smog said...

Every thing is possible with God.all you have to do now is PRAY HARD!God bless

Chinny said...

Sounds like your problem has been solved already. Is it just a coincidence that you lost your child (which i'm sorry about) and that your husband's mistress had a baby for him of which he may never have confessed to if you hadn't found out? Sweetheart read the handwriting on the wall, MOVE ON. I don't see a life for you guys. Does he even love you? If he did why can't he relocate? Is your request selfish? I think not. Your God given responsibility is not to be a baby maker and a ground tiller for your family to survive. You're bearing Adam and Eve's punishment and on-top of that, Sarah's cross.. Some things are just not worth it. Start your life again. Even though it hurts now, your healing will eventually come. That's my 2 cents.

Anonymous said...

oh man...this is some serious issue...why are some men like this for God sake..u said u've known him for 10yrs!!! i'm confused...leaving him to start over might be a very difficult thing but at the same time one should not condone nonsense and infidelity...gosh some men are just animals...u even provide for house and y'all have only been married for less than a year...the best thing might be to take a walk...although u have to be ready to start things over from the scratch

Anonymous said...

Take heart and move on, better husband like me go come.

Anonymous said...

Mehn Relocate and Divorce his ass and start a New life...Ishhh!!!

Anonymous said...

As much as I pity your situation, I will also try to be truthful... PLEASE MOVE ON! Look, I am a guy, but a guy that can't control his emotion is not worthy to get married. Judging by the look of things, it seems that they have been seeing each other even while he proposed to you, I must be sincere with you, he won't change. You will be having this issue for the rest of the marriage. Fortunately or unfortunately, you don't have a kid for him which makes it perfect to look for someone else that will love you and care for you. You will feel the pain for a couple of months by leaving him now, but I bet that it won't be up to the pains you will suffer throughout the rest of the marriage if you happen to go ahead and continue with him.

Some may think that I am a little harsh about my comments, it is good to face reality instead of hiding under our emotions. I have a sister almost in the same shoe as yours, they got married even when the guy wasn't employed. Most times, my sister tries to fix this guy up, but all to no avail, he has this fantasy of going to the UK. To cut the long story short, he has left my sister (with 2 kids) for another woman (which my sister knows coincidentally) saying he needs a new life. He hasn't called my sister for up to four months now. He is somewhere enjoying life with another women. This only happened after about five years of marriage. My advice to you is to continue your life, and with prayer you will find a better half.

sakara said...

1st of all...congratulations from moving away from dat loser u call ur husband....now....face ur job and build another life for urself...u know some people r not worth crying for...he's not meant to be urs otherwise how wld u explain ur man sleeping wt ur friend and fathering a child wt her? goodness...if u were stl wt him i wld v called u a fool...cause that guy can poison u...gosh...get a good life, pack urself well...dress nicely u wl find ur man and i promise u...for d bible says for every woman there's a man..he s not the end of d world...sad that ur marriage packed up? u shd be thankful ur life dd not pack up n d process....am sure if u take care of urself well..no one wld know u have dropped 1...pls next time u meet another man be careful, protect ur man...i promise u some friends r not friends they r out there to stab u right n ur face...goodluck

JANGOOOOOOOOOOOO said...

So sad..."the only way forward is to move forward"...forget about the past and move on with a better life.
Never beg people to stay back in your life against their will, just let go, because sometimes the gift of goodbye opens up the door to a better person.

kemmyyetunde said...

My candid opinion is dat u shld 4get abt him and ur friend, bt gurl u shld thank God dat u lose d baby bcos he doesn't luv u.

Anonymous said...

Stay don't leave. It might sound stupid but if I were you I would stay and accept the child and even take care of the child as my own. Nemesis always catches up no matter what. Don;t leave your home for another. That is how our mothers coped and back then it worked. Nowadays everyone don open eye and oh shout leave. You know where the shoe pinches you. If you leave or stay is up to you. go with your heart but I would not leave.

Anonymous said...

Na wa o!! What kind of men are out there these days??? You guys have only being married a year and he already got someone else pregnant, not just anyone, but your OWN FRIEND??? WOWZERS!! Obviously, he doesn't have any regard for you. He even got her an apartment, meaning he did't regret his action and is fully accepting it too. He must've felt like a G, having two women pregnant for him at the same time. Useless idiot!!

Maybe your miscarriage is God's way of telling you this man is not meant for you and to get the hell away from him!! I can assure you that your marriage will never be the same again if you stay. He won't treat you the same anymore, because he now has another family outside that he has to tend to. So, basically you would be sharing your husband with your friend and their child, if not children, cuz I can bet that she would get pregnant for him again in the future. At the end of the day, all you can do is pray and seek for guidance from God because it's not easy to be with a man for 10 yrs and leave him for another woman just like that. It makes you feel cheated, like she won. BUT, tt can also be a blessing in disguise that you found out about your friend's pregnancy this early. What if you didn't find out until ten years down the line and you already have kids for him, then you are stuck! At least now, you don't have any kids together, so you can still walk away and start a new life. Seek God first before taking any decision though.

Liz

Anonymous said...

please let go. God took away the pregnancy so that you can move on without anything holding back.

Anonymous said...

Are these stories real?

Anonymous said...

Have you done your Thanksgiving? God loves you so much that he doesn't want your life to be ruined by this good for nothing guy that you married by mistake. EVERY disappointment is a blessing. Move on with your life right now dear sister.

I am sorry for the loss of your child.

Anonymous said...

thank God for his mercies to you.

Anonymous said...

This one is not a question jo. Abi na you be the only mumu for this world?

Ms zee said...

My darling I am not a marriage counsellor neither have I been married but I think you should move on. He disrespected you by not telling you of the other woman carrying his baby (1 count), letting you find out (2 counts), renting a place for this woman to stay (3 counts) and you are the bread winner of the family No lady pls move on with your life. You will find someone else. it is hard to let go and society may not agree that you divorce this man because the wedding is not up to a year however In my own opinion I would get a divorce and just move on. It is clear he wants to be with the other lady.

s.a said...

how do u move forward? in as much as i feel u didnt say all that happened in the relationship, i strongly sense u already know wot to do. how can u know someone for almost 10 yrs, yet u dont know how he behaves, to the extent of having a baby with another woman(ur friend). u already know the best thing to do. i know it's in ur heart, do it

Anonymous said...

It's very simple. Dump the man. He's a bitch. U deserve better love.

Anonymous said...

move on girl...they will continue to have sex and make more babies..

http://najiajobs.blogspot.com/ said...

This is so sad, why do we have lot trust issues these days. Just think through it and pray to God before you make the final decision.

Anonymous said...

Truth be told, you said you lost "your baby" and "your marriage" but I say YOU LOST NOTHING! I might tend to sound crazy but firm up your heart because the loss of the baby only broke the attachment that would have made you bound to the guy.

He said he got the lady pregnant before your marriage. What were his intentions? To marry one (you) and keep the other as a mistress? He said he was seduced by the lady ("your friend," a snitch and back stabber) if he was truly committed to you he will not fall for her antics talk less of letting an atmosphere that brought about the seduction exist. Mind you I'm a guy!

You offered relocation to the UK when you are going to provide all that was needed (according to your story), he refused? He still wants the lady around! You said he rented an apartment for the lady in Lagos. Was this lady residing somewhere outside Lagos before now and the child birth? If that be the case, your ex-husband (because you need to leave him; don't even use ex, you never met him should be your watch word because you need to move forward) really wanted the lady close and that was why he relocated her to Lagos.

My lady, that life na only one o! We never existed to life for living sake or live the life of another. I'll advice you drop your pains (yes it's not easy but you really have to), pick you the good parts of you you love, stand tall, walk away from that ill marriage and face a GOOD NEW LIFE! I guess you are still pretty and young, please do not let this scar your heart, mind and thoughts. Open mindedness and power positive thoughts will that you there. You can relocate to the UK alone, at least there you have a new environment and also away from memories and objects that will tear open your pain and scar.

JUST DO IT.
YES YOU CAN.

Best Regards,
Chinedum.

Anonymous said...

Wow my heart goes out to you for what you've gone through but seriously there isn't much to do but for you to move to the UK and better your life or live in Lagos and better your life. Sometimes were so desperate to choose our own destiny that even when God is talking we don't take the time to listen. Put it all to God in prayer and listen to what he is saying. Don't just pray (talk) to God, Listen to what he's saying too and you will know the way forward.

Some people can be truly heartless.

Anonymous said...

I know it's easier said than done, but my best advise for you is to dump him and move on with your life!
Once a cheater is always a cheater and there is no way you can make it work with him. This "husband" lied, cheated and broke his marriage vow with you....so it's oh oh ohveeeer, move on sweetie!
He is sooo NOT worthy of you!!!!!

Zebenzki said...

Honey: shit happens. if youve had a better opportunity to relocate to the UK and he doesnt want to come with, then leave his ass there and move on with ur life. Sorry for the loss of your baby but you are still fertile and can have more - with or without him. he can stay back and marry his mistress and take care of his baby but you got to move on and not let this guy drag you down. be strong for urself girl. talk to your parents, and ask them for advice. but whatever the case, dont get hung up on him, move on... And get tested tooo. no telling where else hes stuck his dick in if he got someone else preggo while yall were married. last thing you want is for some dude to ruin ur life. be smart girl. good luck

Dee dee said...

Here is an excerpt from something I read yesterday. I apologise for the lengthy post.

'Many Christians feel they don’t or can’t hear the voice of God, they feel, they have been praying, but are not receiving anything from God. They perhaps expect an angel to appear to them or hear a thunderous voice giving them instructions on what to do in their lives and situations. Some even go to other human beings to find out what God is saying to them. Many have missed destiny and lost their way in this unnecessary search.
God speaks to us every time if we care to listen through His Word and also through the still small voice of the Holy Spirit.'

What is your gut telling you? Remove the rose-tinted glasses and ask yourself if you can truly be happy with your husband in Nigeria, and with your so-called friend and their baby.

t said...

Don't move. Stay and be asking questions. When suffer flog you, your head go readjust.

Anonymous said...

You should leave him because their is really nothing holding you back/attachment to him. And maybe you losing your baby was a blessing in disguise. But I'm still sorry for your loss. You can always start a new life but it will be very HARD, if your husband cheated on you before the marriage he must be cheating on you now. Pray to God to answer your question.

Anonymous said...

My dear, I know nobody can understand how you feel at the moment but everything happens for a reason, the future is always scary and we intend to slide back to the past bcos its familiar and comfortable the truth is you should relocate and start a new life who knows what the future holds for u!!!!

Dee dee said...

Furthermore, while you're spending your money looking after him, he's using his AND your money to look after his mistress and their baby.

Anonymous said...

This story is fabu oloje... I think this section should be called "Tales By Linda"...

Let's see:

Miscarriage
Baby with best friend right after marriage
Relocation to London
Wife paying for mistresses abode

All she forgot is someone has HIV, and then the story would be complete.

NaijaScorpio said...

Apparently, judging by these stories, there are no good men left. God help us all.

Anonymous said...

Anon 7:13 gbam!I've been suspicious of these Linda stories they seem like someone is trying some nollywood scripts on us!

Anonymous said...

Theres nothing to hold on to besides emotions that can very much fade away with time ....pick ur mind over ur heart and put urself first .....he was selfish enough to impregnate ur friend....so u tooo be selfish enough to tell him bye.sweetie u r worth more than that type of treatment... u make more than him??? ...the man is broke and is a cheat!!!!!!!!!!!leave him !!!!!.ur defense might be the fact that u and him are married...well that defense is baseless...He had unprotected sex with ur friend and had a baby..she isnt the first and wont be the last..he will either contract an STD or have more babies ...wise up!!!!! .. leave now before u have a child for him and cannot leave!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Whao...this is just so sad,similar incident happened to my friend but hers was complicated because they have kids together.For those people saying its not real,pray we don't find ourselves in a situation like this.I will advise her to move forward and get a divorce before she relocates

Anonymous said...

Haba men are real evil and wicked how can he do this to her. I must say first of all sorry for loosing your baby. next this man is an adultrer and you are free to divorce him as he was not faithful and to make it worse he now has a child with another woman. don't forget this would not be your first born with your husband, his mistress would constantly be in your lives as well as the child and the question is are you ready for this in your life and can you ever trust him again think about this as I BELIVE THAT ONCE A CHEAT WOULD ALWAYS BE A CHEAT.

dada said...

ok guys seriously no need to act all better like if u r in the same situation u will just move on immediately... it is the hardest thing to lose a child and then see your world crumbling down right in front of you.

first of all you need to pray to God to heal ur heart. because for u to move on u have to heal. u need ur frends and family with u...the ppl u beliv u trust. because from this story it wud be hard.

find something you are good at to remove ur thots from ur loss. but when u do think of ur loss cry about it. do not even bottle up ur tears it can kill. thats how u start to move on...

Anonymous said...

Now that you guys are saying it, I have also become suspicious of these Linda's stories, the plots become thicker every day. Shame on you Linda if these stories are fabricated!

Anonymous said...

lol @ Tales By Linda...

Anonymous said...

Marriage is satan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Linda Ikeji said...

@anon 8;16 and others..i know its easier to believe these stories were made up than to believe that some people actually go through all these drama in relationships and marriages...sometimes after reading these mails, i kinda feel glad i'm single. a lot of women are going thru shit in their relationships, worst things than what u even read here. but pls trust me, they are emails sent to me from real people...i just don't include their names to keep their identity secret.

i get at least two of these mails a day, some i publish, some not so serious ones, i advise them myself and delete the mails. don't want to bombard you guys with these dear lib posts.

these are real people with real problems, whose lives you guys are touching by sharing ur thoughts...that's why i upload feedback from them. i will never make things like this up...the purpose is then defeated.

besides it's hard enough looking for entertainment news and gossip to bring here, there's no way in hell I'll sit down and be writing long epistle on relationships etc...u want my head to explode? :-)

they are real letters.

Anonymous said...

My dear see the blessing in your life. There's a reason your child did not come into this broken marriage of yours. Let whats broken and now yours go. Look at what you have and cherish it. Let the man that was never yours go. Let God. Trust god, you will see your blessings and look back and be greatful you saw the blessings in disguise as lost of child with this cheating loser husband of yours.

Anonymous said...

My dear see the blessing in your life. There's a reason your child did not come into this broken marriage of yours. Let whats broken and now yours go. Look at what you have and cherish it. Let the man that was never yours go. Let God. Trust god, you will see your blessings and look back and be greatful you saw the blessings in disguise as lost of child with this cheating loser husband of yours.

chichiluv said...

the person who commented at 2.46 na correct persin! i like that response very much.

this no be easy decision! i find it suspicious that you offered a change of scenery and he refuses especially since he doesn't even have a good job. a change of country will not help, your problems are too deep seated and began way before the marriage. the man went and slept with your friend because he felt useless in a relationship whereby the woman is the major bread winner so this yeye agbero gave him a sense of power and ability. whose money did he use to pay for the flat? probably yours!

the bible says divorce is okay if adultery as occurred, you don't have children tying you together (and i am sorry you lost the baby but sometimes some disappointments are a blessing in disguise), he is a lying, cheating scummy douche bag with no respect for you and your marriage and no job to boot, you are not afraid to move to the UK to start over with him, well then I suggest you don't be afraid to go there and start all over by yourself!

The man is showing you his true colors, take people at their words and actions. MOVE ON! This is a guaranteed LOSER!

YOu ain't losing crap by dropping this zero, a hero could be waiting for you in London even in that Naija sef if you don't want to relocate again.

Let him, that woman and their child make up a family of their own. Go and start your life with someone who will be respectful, loving, kind and faithful to you. Someone who will be the father of your children alone, not a baby daddy.

Anonymous said...

Yes, they are real letters written by people who write fiction...

Anonymous said...

Its obvious you dont have a marriage here, he committed adultery what else do you want to hear? Your so-called husband has been eating at two places at the same time! Its up to you whatever decision you will make but I will tell you this look before you leap!

Anonymous said...

Thank you guys for your contributions.Yes,this story is real and am the victim....I cry everyday day and night and you think someone will make up the story.I just want people to learn and see what is going on in real life.

Anonymous said...

Is this for real?

Anonymous said...

Stuff like this happens all the time in nigeria no fiction.

JustSayin said...

OMD...are these stories real?
Na wa o

Hello Kitty said...

Madam, this is how to move forward... u put one foot infront of the other and go! dont look back, lest you suffer lot's wife's fate.

Anonymous said...

U need ma advice?
Fuck him with all of your strength

Anon-Oma said...

ANon 9:40, I am Anon 2:46...please do not be hurt that people think this can not be real. We really feel for you and most of us are praying for strength and courage for you. If you are reading this, please know that there might really be a blessing under all this chaos.

I will always say, things that are ordained by God are not chaotic, there might be trials but THIS is not one of the trials. It is difficult because you have said I do, but this man broke the vows even before you took them. This really might be one of those instances where you can do bad all by yourself.

-I know no man is perfect but please do not buy the lie that they are all loose and they can't control themselves (we are talking about the gender that is the supposed head). There are responsible men out there.

-Take care to pray about the situation and get to a point where you can find peace of mind. This man has shown a lack of respect for you and your marriage. Once again, make sure you can forgive this trangression in its entirety before taking him back. There is no need harboring hatred for him and his baby. As for the friend, forgive her and create a safe distance. No friend of yours should help your man commit such a deceitful act. I wish you all the best.

-Linda, we believe you dear.

Anonymous said...

@ linda, im pretty much tired of waiting on you to post my story. Im in some real shit and i sent you and email so you can help out. Yes it might have been a long email but i was seriously seeking the opinion of your readers to help me get a clearer perspective and understanding on what im going through. The day i called you, you told me you had 3 emails before mine and you"ll post mine eventually. Ive been on the lookout for almost 2 weks now and you havent posted mine. You even posted that case about a lady reporting her bloke to the police just to get back at him. That wasnt even a serious enough topic. Im going through a lot here and since i sent you my email you didnt advice and neither did you post my story. I AM REALLY NOT HAPPY WITH YOU. I read your blog a lot....its the least you can do for me. Well at this point its obvious to me you arent gonna post it so thanks for nothing. regards.

Shg.

Anonymous said...

sweetie..men are users..its in their DNA.
To think i grew up thinking women are the users..

Anonymous said...

My dear am sorry for the loss and receive my apologies and the bible tells us that (a barren woman becomes a mother of children, not one child but children), you are under the powers of satan and this should be a lesson to all young ladies. dating for 10 good years and just married for less than a year, Mhhh. My advice goes to many - Alot of ladies have a tendacy of going to their boyfriend's place together with their prettier friends. Before they know it, the friend has an intimate contact with their man and at last the owner of the man is a victim because always a snatcher knows how to take care of the man because she knows there is a battle between you and her. Always avoid to take friends to your men. Husband snatchers are always so caring and they do anything inorder to permanently own the husband for herself.

Lastly i would advise you to seek counselling and involve your elders or parents or Pastor on this. This is total war. Accept that this man isnt your husband because still he will do this after you have many children for him.

wishing you all the best and just know that God is watching you

Anonymous said...

@Linda, Thank you for posting our stories. I got help from this blog after posting my story just last week titled "should I stay of go" where my hubby had 6 freaking kids and I got a good job. They are real my 8:16. In this world we pass thru things and sometimes we pass thru these situations so that we can counsel, encourage and advise others

Anonymous said...

i think the comments from the so-called authors of these sad stories confirming they are real makes it even more suspicious. Linda please stop! who is fooling who, yes we know these things happen and that's the more reason you'd make up a story of someone it has happened to just for ratings.

Anonymous said...

Nonsense.
Wait there for the stupid man you hear? na you kuku be him money bag

Anonymous said...

@ Madame sting: tell me about it! It's almost scary. Majority of these men really need to change. Men ejo o, abeg - yall can do better than messing up all the time. Or else women r gna start marrying themselves. And yall know how that is in our society.

Anonymous said...

A smilar thing happened to my cousin. mehhhnn she has moved on with life. Now she has remarried and also have a baby.

Forget that man you call a husband cause how can you feed a man yet he has the guts to feed another woman from your purse? Omo you have been the fool.

Move on with life by getting out of that stupid decision of marraige you initially made.

That man will definately have a spot for his child and do you expect the mother of the child to allow her child's father slip away like that? HELL NO

http://9jaspititout.blogspot.com said...

@Hello Kitty, LOOOL! Just my kinda humor! I wish there was an option to 'like' comment, i'd hit it 5times for you.

Anonymous said...

Linda i use God take beg you...This Friction don tire me shuooo..no be only Malawi i go soon be Cambodia....LWKMD

Anonymous said...

he doesnt have a good job yet he rented an apartment for the lady and you're the provider in the home?smh...is this story really for rea?i dont even know what to say....

Udegbunam Chukwudi said...

Nne na wa oh! Which kain question be this one sef! Read the writing on the wall.

THE GUY NO WANT YOU AGAIN NEITHER DOES HE SEND YOU.

Pack your bags and waka and make a better life for yourself.

Anonymous said...

babes the hand writting is on the wall,when a woman becomes a breadwinner which is not proper in our society even in da western world ,this is actually what u should get,if you have to be honest ,iam very sure you took care of the wedding bills,you visually forced this man to marry you out of his own wish ,if u are the bread winner ,how come he can afford to rent and apartment for the other woman ,think my dear this guy isnt your husband .the question is did he propose to you or you did propose to him .the second sign that this man isnt your husband is asking him to relocate and he refuses ,dat means he has no respect for you ,or the marriage you forced him into.

kike said...

STORY!!!..omo u berra kick the muthafucker to the kerb and move the fuck on! simples!!

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