Dear LIB readers: My husband hates to cuddle in bed
From a female LIB reader
I've been married for just four months and I must say marriage is not at all what I expected. It's not bad, but its a little different from when two people are dating, or maybe mine is just peculiar. What gets me the most is that my husband doesn't like to cuddle in bed. After sex, he wants me as far away from him as possible on the bed. When I put my hands around him, he tells me to give him space, saying he's uncomfortable with anything touching him when he's sleeping. And this is supposed to be forever? I like to cuddle, I want to be held by my man, I want to be able to sleep in his arms but not this man I married. He wants none of that. How do I convince him that is the best way two people who like each other should sleep? I need my cuddles
is it that you guys did not date before getting married? or you never spent the nigth with him all the while before marriage? this is a very serious issue, you both need to sit down and talk it through...
Have we not advised y'all to taste drive to avoid stories that touch like this. marriage is overrated girls please stop expecting a fantasy world before going into it. Some men are like that.
Have we not advised y'all to taste drive to avoid stories that touch like this. marriage is overrated girls please stop expecting a fantasy world before going into it. Some men are like that.
In as much as I won't encourage partner knowing about their sexual life, parties should always endeavor to ask each other wat they like and wat they hate when in bed to avoid situations like this. I will advice u let him know wat u feel each time u're deprived of such afterall, the wedding is still very new and fresh. Thanks
Your marriage is only four month and u are already causing trouble for yourself. How is it an issue that he doesn't want to cuddle. This shouldn't be an issue dear.
It's a marriage, communication is always very important. If he doesn't like cuddling, den y should he like sex? Unless you both found a way of making love without touching.
Not encouraging ex marital sex o, but this is all part of the reason why u should really know a man before u decide to spend forever with him, but it's something u should sit him down and talk about, Becos I think it's quite seriou.
It's a marriage, communication is always very important. If he doesn't like cuddling, den y should he like sex? Unless you both found a way of making love without touching.
Dear MRS, is pretty nice to cuddle, but ur hubby's situation is normal, don't see it as a problem or not being romantic. Some people are allergic to anything around them while sleeping, they experience suffocation with little thing on them. i'm a living example. Love is mutual and understanding. Since ur hubby is of this type, it beholds on you to show some understanding, you don't expect to get all u want/like/enjoy in life. But continue to discuss it with him, he may become used to it with time.
My dear, you are only four months old in marriage meaning that you still have a long way to go. So much you'll still have to learn. First, sacrifice is a key ingredient in marriage. Better sacrifice the cuddles and enjoy your man.
You better get used to it my friend. Not all men like to cuddle. My hubby doesn't like to cuddle. I like it when I am awake not sleeping. Welcome to marriage, the eye opener.
Madam you are already complaining. It's not a big deal. I also don't like anyone holding me when I'm trying to sleep. Makes me uncomfortable. Your hubby does not like it, then stop it. With men if you force them so much to do something you want, they just won't do it and that would hurt you more. I suggest you let it go and sleep on your own, you'll see that he'll come cuddling up to you sometimes and then you'll love it. People actually have bigger problems on their relationship.
I understand you perfectly. I was in your shoes too a year ago. My husband does not even believe in foreplay. So imagine we just have sex no foreplay and he rolls off to another side of the bed immediately after. But now, we are having the best sex life. Try and understand he is going through a phase in life. He is still trying to adjust to having a woman in his life. Talk to him about him, Don't fight him, its a psychological thing. Pray for him and tell him how you feel about it. He will come around sooner than later. And pls don't discuss your sex life with anyone, they will just make you feel miserable. Also remember that people keep up a perfect marriage face outside and they are going through hell. You are not alone dear.
my dear, marriage is different from dating. its two people from different upbringing coming together to live and they both want things to be done the way they want or done in their father's house. most men want to sleep after sex. as a lady, i dont like when ny hubby touches me while i sleep and my husband likes to cuddle but i made him understand that there is no way i can sleep when someone touches me. we cuddle but when it is time to sleep, i turn to the other side and sleep. you need to learn to live with each others differences that how marriage can work. also, learn to tolerate each other. am an introvert, i love to be a alone and i dont really like people visiting us but my hubby loves people and wants people around. we tried to balance this though we still fight over it but we just realise we are two different people and we have learnt to tolerate each other and live together happily.
Marriage has each of their problems....lol At poster..talk to him to allow u to hold him for 10mins after sex den u can leave him from dia increase it to 15mins and so long lik dat he will conform if he really cares for u....adeloves01@gmail.com
I think you should sit down and talk to him about it. Let him know how u feel and what you expect and find out why he doesn't like to cuddle. You should be able to agree on something. That's why he's ur husband. It's only 4 months, you should be able to talk to him. Sometimes, they don't know, they need to be told.
You should be patient untill you get pregnant,(i.e if you'r not already)before making such request.I behaved exactly like him when I first married,sometimes i even refuse her sex,because i was having a lot on my mind then.but now things are normal and we respect each other's feelings very well.
A lot of things could be the cause. Love or Trust, Trust is much more important than Love. If someone loves me, it is more of that person’s business than mine. But if the same person trusts me, it places a duty on me to live up to that trust. In other words, Trust challenges one to reciprocate; Love might not always do that.....what's that ISSUE that gives you sleepless night in your relationship? Its time you talk to someone. For your relationship issues and psychological counseling halla at Petersonconsultant@yahoo.com Or add up on 27FCBFBE for one on one conversation.
Dont blame him. I particularly dont cuddle too esp after i cum cuz i feel this guilt even when Its sex with my main chic. I just want her a distance from me. Well you should always sleep naked that way he prolly might get tempted to want more even when he is tired. That would make him end up holding (cuddling) .. Its a gradual process.
Dont blame him. I particularly dont cuddle too esp after i cum cuz i feel this guilt even when Its sex with my main chic. I just want her a distance from me. Well you should always sleep naked that way he prolly might get tempted to want more even when he is tired. That would make him end up holding (cuddling) .. Its a gradual process.
Hmm, didn't u court ur husband b4 u married him? Or didn't u guys talk about ur likes and dislike b4 u married him? Guess u should talk to him about it bt if he doesn't change, u just have to accept him as he is.
I feel for you my sister but i dont know why your hubby will not allow you cuddle up @ night but i fell he has respiratory problems that he might not want to talk about or disclose and your wrapping yourself around him makes it difficult for him to breathe.....Am a married man and my wife loves cuddling but due to some respiratory issues i have i dont allow her that much cuddling but i turn my back on her so she can grab me from d back and sleep so you might wanna try hugging him from behind at night
you should try having a conversation with him. Be open to each other, express what you feel to him and hear him out. I'm sure both of you will find a common ground.
you should try having a conversation with him. Be open to each other, express what you feel to him and hear him out. I'm sure both of you will find a common ground.
My dear sister, forget all those romantic movies u watch oooo majority of Nigerian men are not dat romantic as we see in movies oooo just accept ur reality and focus on making ur home a peaceful one. One love
Sweetheart buy a teddy to cuddle,is not by force.or you use pillow one on your head,the other in between your legs and finally one you will grab on your hand.cuddle complete..is never that serious
Madam! Sowi! Bt who told u that is the best way two people who like each other shld sleep? I imagine ur pain, bt please dnt begin 2 feel unloved for trivial issues such as this. I say this cos em lyk him. I cld b cuddled in bed, bt wen it's tym 2 sleep, it keeps me very uncomfortable. Seriously, i cnt stand it. So, pray he understands ur point, bt if he dosnt, jst try n tolerate his!
Say what? Babe explain to him how ladies value cuddling than sex,as in ehn, I can break up with a guy for that. I see such men as people who just want women for child bearing and nothing else. God go punish any man wey go try am with me.
U cnt convince him.dnt even try to convince him.I'm also like ur husband and d reason is bcos we are exhausted nd we feel uncomfortable havin ur body weight close to us
I'm so sorry to hear that. My husband loves cuddling but doesn't like kissing!But i love both cuddling AND kissing... Not everyone is perfect like in our dreams. So,what i'll say is that, you could look for a conducive environment and also check that he's in a good mood,then talk to him about it one on one...keep the communication lines open! Perhaps,he'll let you know why he doesnt like cuddles and maybe learn to because you love it. Wish you all the best,dear.
And on the contrary, my own wife disconnects and hates cuddling...what kind of life is this? one man's meat, another man's poison...wish you are mine! galaxyview@yahoo.com
LMAO!!!! this is serious! first of all, talk with him and find out his reasons, tell him how u you feel, communicate and dialogue with him. don't make him feel like u want him to do it coz u want it but because u both need it. if he doesn't pay attention or heed to your plea,then after sex girl, stand up too and even move out of the room and make him feel the same way like u don't want to be touched too while sleeping. do that for a while like say 1 month and if he doesn't notice it and change, then girl u have to accept him for who he is and move on! when the kids come, u will have someone to cuddle while u sleep. u don't wanna tell people that the reason why u are having issues with your husband is because he doesn't like to cuddle in bed.
THIS ONE NA SERZ GOBE........MY DEAR GO BUY THE BIGGEST TEDDY BEAR (HUMAN SIZE) AND LAY IT BETWEEN THE TWO OF U, CUDDLE IT IN A VERY SEXY MANNER, DO IT FOR DAYS AND TRUST ME HIS SENSES WILL COME BACK
Try to understand him, some men like their space after sex because they are tired. my dear, try to discuss with him about your worries. If he does not change then its your cross to bear oooo....
Woman allow the guy mke I'm sleep, hustling and work dey tomorrow, you need ur cuddle, you hve to check the work he does whether he really hve time of himself maybe he barely hve time for sex even so think nd understand him, he gave you SEX, now cuddle, hope nxt will be fingering
You are not alone in this situation. This is what I have lived with for 13 years and to be sincere, the marriage has become very boring to me because I do not see a chemistry existing in the relationship.
my dear, i'm a female, i love to cuddle die...but believe me when i tell u dat i don't sleep well whenever i hv someone in bed with me....as much as someone else's body is touching mine, i just won't b able to sleep well...so don't b mad, so long as he cuddles u & treats u right,xcept for d sleeping times, just let him be...he is wired like dat...
I am in a similar situation and I must confess, it is not funny to me at all. For one, it makes the marriage very boring and there seem not to exist that chemistry between my wife and I.
Suffice me to say that I am not happy being in the relationship because my wife is not close to me as I want.
My dear, I was in the same situation when I got married almost 4 years ago. My husband never wanted to cuddle at night after we got married and would roll away if I touched him when he was asleep. But with time I got to understand that it didn't mean he wasn't in love with me but he just needed time to adjust to this new lifestyle of having a woman clinging to him all day. It might take a while but just keep at it, but gently. Tease about it when he's in a good mood and don't make an issue out of it because that will only push him away. With time he'll be the one asking for cuddles but just make sure you don't nag about it for now. Have a blissful marriage dear.
It's about meeting halfway. You can try to talk to him and suggest this to him. Let him sleep first of all and when he is drifted you can then come and lay on his chest and hold him, that way he won't know when you are doing it and he can still get his sleep. There are many reasons why this happens so I would also suggest that you talk to him to know his reasons and how it affect his sleep. That way you would have narrowed things down and we would be able to help you out a little more.
you can always write to me or read up on people who have some issues also. my email is askralphblog@gmail.com you can check things out when you go to www(dot)askralphblog(dot)com
My,please check your hair ensure your head is not the major turn of.Let your hair smell good.Secondly,some men are very irritated after sex,try washing off and staying dry immediately after sex and see how that works.Communication is very important.Let him know exactly how you feel about his actions,maybe he would bulge and you two can take it up from their.Remember this is your marriage we are talking about.
Did not notice that b4 u got married 2 him? That is why it's really important 2 really date someone b4 getting married or may be u just got married 2 his money and now u want him 2 change from who he is, u have 2 manage, or else u want that comfort from me , I can cuddle.
MY SISTER, I WAS IN YOUR HUSBANDS SHOE BEFORE, I JUST WANT TO BE AS FREE AS BIRD WHEN I SLEEP, BUT MY WIFE CANNOT SLEEP WITHOUT CUDDLING ME. THERE COMES THE TOLERANCE, BECAUSE OF THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HER, I HAVE TO LEARN TO DO IT AND NOW I AM USED TO IT. IF HE LOVES YOU, HE WILL CHANGE BECAUSE THAT IT ONE GOOD WAY TO SETTLE YOUR FIGHT WITHOUT IT GETTING TO THE NEXT DAY.
oh woman pls... and you come to a blog to complain about this..grow up.. what will happen when you have more serious rpoblmens? and you will! run to all the blogs? now to your issue. its not an issue. respect your mana's stand on cuddling. not everyone likes it. even as a female, i dont like it. but talk to him about it. if he loves you he should care about how important it is to you and compromise. youtwo should strike a bargain. dont expect cuddling all the time but once in a while, yeah
That should have been discussed when you guys were courting. Certain things like number of children, Sex, how to run d family, finances etc should be discussed b4 d wedding. Just pray about it dear and then tell him in a loving way. Goodluck
NOTE: THIS IS THE BEST ADVICE YOU WILL GET HERE - Young lady, it is not the best way to sleep. For you maybe. I don't like anything touching me either when i'm sleeping, i want to be on my own, regardless of any sexual activity that may have just taken place a few minutes earlier. My man likes to cuddle, but he knows me better and knows to leave me on my own. Dont' think it's something you can talk to him about, you cannot change this. Leave him be and buy yourself the biggest teddy bear you can find in the market and name him MR. CUDDLES. On a lighter note, if you don't like this advice, you and I can swap partners! Lol!
Lol so marriage is dis painful I hope I do not marry d wrong man who will not be comfortable with me in any area God help u dear to find a way of communicating with him
Marriage can Suck at times. Those who haven't married yet should make sure they're fully ready to get settled. When I mean "fully ready" it should be mentally, psycologically, spiritually and physically ready to get settled. Dear poster, all you have to keep doing is persevering and always talk to him concerning that. Am sure he would turn out for better.
It's all very true. But the problem is that the pressure place on the ladies these days is just too much. It's not easy to keep holding on. I feel it all starts from you, who you are and how confident you are about yourself. Knowing the right reasons to do the right things and having the right amount of patience. Being able to know what is best for you and ignoring what people might or might not say. Concentrating more on building yourself as a person. Abeg e plenty...
not just for the ladies though, for the men also.
you can check my blog www(dot)askralphblog(dot)com I offer direct help and advice for general life issue. you will definitely find topics that would help you out or read up on stories of others that I have helped.
When you were dating you didn't know? You guys should have talked about stuff like this. Well, four months is too early to start resigning yourself to live like this. Please seat him down and have a heart to heart with him, don't whine and don't be confrontational.
Don't worry dear, very soon he will get used to it. I used to be like him when my husband and I got married. I never allowed him cuddle me in bed, cos it made me very uncomfortable and I could hardly sleep in that condition. He complained for sometime. With time, I got used to it and now I can hardly sleep without his hands around me as it makes me feel protected. Don't worry honey, it's a gradual process and your hubby will get used to it.
every time people would say "marriage isn't what i thought"so stupid...didn't u court him to know his kind of person...the courting i mean is not 3month ish...court a man or lady before marriage..stop using marriage institution to justify ur stupidity.
My ex-boyfriend hates it too,one of the reason I left him.I can sleep on my husband till day break.My conclusion was that my ex is not so strong to carry my weight but my husband who can withstand all kinds of stress ,enjoys this kind of stress. Didn't you notice it when you guys were dating ????
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nigga dsnt want to be disturbed in his sleep, so let him be just that, if you are so cuddle crazy find the next pillow by your side and cuddle for ages!!
I don't thing he loves you....me as a person I don't like sharing bed coz I love spreading but with my man I cuddle like a baby with him,and he doesn't say no,he's not a cuddy person but with me he just has to do it,coz he's inlove with me...please talk to him about it
Some people are like that. Wenever he is in a good mood, talk to him quietly and nicely about it. Cry, if u must, to make him see reasons. With time, he'll adjust. Marriage is all about sacrifice. Goodluck.
haha.. this is kind of funny sha.. i think it's just bcos he feels sweaty and hot and touching him at that moment would just not be pleasing to him.. just chill and sleep on your side of the bed he will look for your body on cold nights lolzz :P :)
I use to think i was the only one that hate cuddling now i know there's someone out there that doesn't like it too, if for the sake of reassuring your mate i think you should learn to cuddle because that's exactly what I'm doing now, not east though but sometimes we have to sacrifice to prove our love
What makes you think your way is the best way? He is rejecting this idea of yours because he feels you are trying to lord your idea over him. Respectfully talk to him about it and how cuddling makes you feel- he will be more open to your need.
Convince? There's no way. He has said he doesn't like anything touching him when he's sleeping. That's harsh, and sounds like an unrepentant non-cuddler. Madam, you dey on ya own.
he jst want to sex not to make love .coz is two different thing.somebody that sex u wil rush and get up , but wen u make love it look like no end match bcoz both enjoy it even sleep off .
Dear girl forgive me if I sound patronizing but at this stage you are in marriage, you are a girl. You are just realizing that marriage and dating are 2 different ball games. Husbands turnout to be completely different from the men they were while dating. So my dear sit tight as you mature into a woman in marriage. As for cuddling, most Naija men are not cuddlers. Maybe it is even most men generally,its just that oyibo movies have shown us that men cuddle so maybe oyibo men do. Our Nigerian weather has been used as one of their excuses. The heat is too much they say why make yourselves hotter?!! By now you should have put 2 and 2 tgether - my husband aint no cuddler too. Ive grown into a woman from the girl I was when we got married over 9 years ago. So will you.
oh dear , this really isn't a big deal , i was in love with a man who didn't like cuddling especially after sex or at bed time , it was nothing personal , it wasn't about me it was all him , more than anything else he hated having his cum on his skin so he won't cuddle with you not because he doesn't want to but because he was disgusted with himself and usually bed time for him meant strictly bed time ,,, and really don't be fooled no one wants to cuddle the entire night .. it gets hot and you just need space so find other times during the day or night to cuddle and ask him why he doesn't like to cuddle and you can go from there ...your'e welcome
A man who wouldn't cuddle you even if it's for a minute after sex, doesn't truly love you. Dat treatment is what men give to women dey are really not in to
U are not alone poster. Bn married 5yrs now and still begging to b cuddled. If dh agrees, it wont even last 5mins before he find excuse to change position. I'm getting used to it. Invest in lots of pillow and improvise. Annoying though
Why should you discomfort someone that has less than 6 hours to sleep with cuddling? Sleep is for maximum rest to refresh... My shoulders are still hurting because my wife insist on turning it into her pillow. Can't have a decent sleep because she would always wake me up with statements like 'baby cuddle me and why are you backing me?'
Sleep has lost the restful side... I even think she should occupy our spare room, abeg.
Wahala waoooo.I don't know wy some ladies can't be patient.Must u rush into marriage jst bcos your fwends are getting married.anyay,tell him and if he insist dat that is wat he want,let him be.didn't u see all dis bf getting married to him?
Will sit and read other lib readers comment I passed through same broke up b4 I would mk a mistake in my marriage I love cuddle more than sex but he just want sex and after dat everybody face ur wall.
I dnt understand why u shld get married to someone u dnt knw wat he likes and wat he dislikes. Maybe u shld let go of cuddling or u tel him how u love to be cuddled, if he luvs u, he will learn how to cuddle u.
U need ur cuddles. .he needs his space...oya let d war begin! My sis biko der is something called compromise. ...I was in doz shoes bt I had to compromise for peace to reign. ..after lovemaking I carry my fone n open LIB..dat keeps me busy till sleep finally comes to my eyes yil hubby sleeps off imdtly aftr d show...so pls fimd a way to make urself happy n enjoy ur sex wit ur hubby...dz life is too short.....
This are things you should have known and dealt with before marriage. Well the best thing now is to to talk to him calmly and find out why and also let him understand that you need your cuddles.
Ahh!!! tell am oh. But you guys would have discussed this or talked a lil about what you like ( sexually ) if you guys were not intimate before marriage. Try to explain to him in a manner he wouldn't get upset that you luv to cuddle. Best of luck
Shuo.. una no knack b4 marriage? Abeg this story is strange. So u didn't notice that b4 marrying him huh? My dear..wear sexy lingerie n sleep..wen he tries to touch u for sex..tell him u don't want to bcos u'd wanna cuddle n he wouldn't. .so u'd rather be left alone. Let him sleep with his boner like dat.
Dear girl forgive me if I sound patronizing but at this stage you are in marriage, you are a girl. You are just realizing that marriage and dating are 2 different ball games. Husbands turnout to be completely different from the men they were while dating. So my dear sit tight as you mature into a woman in marriage. As for cuddling, most Naija men are not cuddlers. Maybe it is even most men generally,its just that oyibo movies have shown us that men cuddle so maybe oyibo men do. Our Nigerian weather has been used as one of their excuses. The heat is too much they say why make yourselves hotter?!! By now you should have put 2 and 2 tgether - my husband aint no cuddler too. Ive grown into a woman from the girl I was when we got married over 9 years ago. So will you.
U need which cuddles??? Una no date? Abi u never cuddled when u were dating? Some people just won't stop amazing me o Now you are married and complaining as if u just met him,deal with it lady! Phil
lmao at i need my cuddles. OMG I love to cuddle, can't imagine not. He apparently is not a "cuddler" and you either have to suck it up or show him d way. You know what? Tell him to experiment cuddling for just 3 days. Not you holding him because it seems like he has trust issues while he sleeps. When you are about to sleep turn your back towards him while he faces your back, ease into him a little and let his hand drape over your waist a little, the next day go a bit further, let your legs intertwine you can also try some caressing, get adventurous but don't take it too far or else he'll bolt. Try this for 3 days and see if he likes it. If not, you may have to talk to a therapist/marriage counselor.Ms Feefs
Did you not date him before marrying him? So don't you know all this? Which means you don't even know your hubi very well . Anyway try na to talk to him. CHI.
Lady please be patient. I used to have such discomfort as a young man, its so bad that I cant even sleep if the lady is still awake. But I found out that it will be a problem when I get married so I started trying to correct it and now I am used to it. Also know that some men can not change in this situation .So try to work on it and if it doesnt get better just take it as it is and pray too.
Apparently it seems sex before marriage is just great! that way you know what you're dealing with. because I mean.. you can't go hard on the man for not liking to cuddle.. most people don't.. especially when sleeping. they may not be able to sleep at all.. now, don't go hard on me for advocating intimacy before marriage.. things like this could be avoided. helps us marry someone we are compatible with.
Ehya aa, sorry babe!! This really amused me ooo, I pray he'll change. Maybe he is going thru a psychological trauma. So u both neva pasted a night together?
I had this same experience from my husband ,have been married for 7 month now pregnant with our first child my hubby d,nt cuddle me even with pregnancy. i had to buy a pregnant care pillow which i cuddle every night.most night i cry every night.now am so so used to my pillow.
Its nt strange for ur husband to not want to cuddle, d reason is after sex he is tired and he needs to sleep, so cuddling prevents him from sleepin, if ur head is on his chest and all he wil still be awake, dats nt comforable for him, d solution is for him to compromise a lil by cuddling u at least 10 minutes after sex, den after dat u gv him permission to sleep. Sex is energy zapping for men.
Please give the man his space and cuddle your pillow/teddy bear. What if reverse is the case, that you are the one that hates cuddle during sleep?Abeg marriage is not to inconvenience another person, that is being very selfish. Atleast he makes love to you and it satisfies you......sleep my dear is sleep. I as a lady likes my sleep without the inconvenience of someone touching me. Please, learn to adjust or better still, buy a teddy bear. Let the man have his dear sleep after a hard day's job jor!!!!! Marriage is enjoyable, it all depends on how you view it or your mindst before you got into it.
You never see anything... Life isn't a bed of roses my dear... That's the man you married and you have to live with it... Fairy tales are not tire most times... There are ups and downs...
517 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 517 Newer› Newest»is it that you guys did not date before getting married? or you never spent the nigth with him all the while before marriage? this is a very serious issue, you both need to sit down and talk it through...
Sometimes act as if you don't care too he will come for you.
Have we not advised y'all to taste drive to avoid stories that touch like this.
marriage is overrated girls please stop expecting a fantasy world before going into it.
Some men are like that.
Have we not advised y'all to taste drive to avoid stories that touch like this.
marriage is overrated girls please stop expecting a fantasy world before going into it.
Some men are like that.
Dear not every man that likes it.... I am one of those men who doesn't like to be disturb while sleeping....i feel very uncomfortable.
Don't worry u will get it
In as much as I won't encourage partner knowing about their sexual life, parties should always endeavor to ask each other wat they like and wat they hate when in bed to avoid situations like this. I will advice u let him know wat u feel each time u're deprived of such afterall, the wedding is still very new and fresh. Thanks
How is that suppose to be my problem? I don't have your cuddle with me, ask your man. lol.
Your marriage is only four month and u are already causing trouble for yourself. How is it an issue that he doesn't want to cuddle. This shouldn't be an issue dear.
Sister, you are in for a long thing. I have tested it in my relationship. Same experience. So frustrating
My dear,u can talk to him about it and if he doesn't change,u just have to bear.
Miss indomie says so.
It's a marriage, communication is always very important. If he doesn't like cuddling, den y should he like sex? Unless you both found a way of making love without touching.
Not encouraging ex marital sex o, but this is all part of the reason why u should really know a man before u decide to spend forever with him, but it's something u should sit him down and talk about, Becos I think it's quite seriou.
I PITY WOMEN COS THEY SUFFER A LOT IN MOST RELATIONSHIPS
Very necessary. If my man cnt cuddle me in bed, to me its a big problem. Just tlk to him abt it. Maybe he will APC
It's a marriage, communication is always very important. If he doesn't like cuddling, den y should he like sex? Unless you both found a way of making love without touching.
TEACH HIM, DON LOOK OUTSIDE BECAUSE OF CUDDLING!
eeeyah...get a big teddy for yourself..FA$H
My frnd try and understand there is a word called individual difference.
shuu!!!
wahala dey oh,u don suppose knw dt one nw b4 una marry.
That is to say he jst want u for d sex notin n more
zakariruth2@gmail.com
Dear MRS, is pretty nice to cuddle, but ur hubby's situation is normal, don't see it as a problem or not being romantic. Some people are allergic to anything around them while sleeping, they experience suffocation with little thing on them. i'm a living example. Love is mutual and understanding. Since ur hubby is of this type, it beholds on you to show some understanding, you don't expect to get all u want/like/enjoy in life. But continue to discuss it with him, he may become used to it with time.
Welcome to my world babes! African men are so primitive in nature. Marriage is another ball game entirely but it's so disheartening.
My dear, you are only four months old in marriage meaning that you still have a long way to go. So much you'll still have to learn. First, sacrifice is a key ingredient in marriage. Better sacrifice the cuddles and enjoy your man.
You better get used to it my friend. Not all men like to cuddle. My hubby doesn't like to cuddle. I like it when I am awake not sleeping. Welcome to marriage, the eye opener.
I don't like cuddling as well, disrupts my sleep. You can talk to him about it but if he refuses then you can cuddle your pillow. Sorry Ma'am
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So u didn't notice this before marriage, abi una no fuck while dating
Four months n u r complaining alrdy?
Nice1
Just the way you said it now...let him know you're serious.
Liflblog.WordPress.com
Some men are like that ,why some are not, just give hime chance he will change
Una no do testing before marriage ni
Madam you are already complaining. It's not a big deal. I also don't like anyone holding me when I'm trying to sleep. Makes me uncomfortable. Your hubby does not like it, then stop it. With men if you force them so much to do something you want, they just won't do it and that would hurt you more. I suggest you let it go and sleep on your own, you'll see that he'll come cuddling up to you sometimes and then you'll love it. People actually have bigger problems on their relationship.
Ladies, una wahala no dey for mrkt at all.........
Some men re like dat. But 2 me i c dem like cheating husbands. #oneandonlynwa@gmail.com#
i perfectly understand ur man.
I understand you perfectly. I was in your shoes too a year ago. My husband does not even believe in foreplay. So imagine we just have sex no foreplay and he rolls off to another side of the bed immediately after. But now, we are having the best sex life. Try and understand he is going through a phase in life. He is still trying to adjust to having a woman in his life. Talk to him about him, Don't fight him, its a psychological thing. Pray for him and tell him how you feel about it. He will come around sooner than later. And pls don't discuss your sex life with anyone, they will just make you feel miserable. Also remember that people keep up a perfect marriage face outside and they are going through hell. You are not alone dear.
My dear go and buy a teddy bear. LOL
Give him time. He's fifty shade of grey!
Gay alert! Well maybe bisexual? Either way its not normal.
It's too early nah...
#Abbytohxoft
my dear, marriage is different from dating. its two people from different upbringing coming together to live and they both want things to be done the way they want or done in their father's house. most men want to sleep after sex. as a lady, i dont like when ny hubby touches me while i sleep and my husband likes to cuddle but i made him understand that there is no way i can sleep when someone touches me. we cuddle but when it is time to sleep, i turn to the other side and sleep. you need to learn to live with each others differences that how marriage can work. also, learn to tolerate each other. am an introvert, i love to be a alone and i dont really like people visiting us but my hubby loves people and wants people around. we tried to balance this though we still fight over it but we just realise we are two different people and we have learnt to tolerate each other and live together happily.
Ur cuddle is gone baby
Maybe ur hair net smells
Wear seductive perfumes
I FEEL U JUST GET USE TO IT AM USE TO IT
Marriage has each of their problems....lol
At poster..talk to him to allow u to hold him for 10mins after sex den u can leave him from dia increase it to 15mins and so long lik dat he will conform if he really cares for u....adeloves01@gmail.com
if my husband cant cuddle in bed....then he should forget it.
I think you should sit down and talk to him about it. Let him know how u feel and what you expect and find out why he doesn't like to cuddle. You should be able to agree on something. That's why he's ur husband. It's only 4 months, you should be able to talk to him. Sometimes, they don't know, they need to be told.
Mii I like cuddling bt since u nt getting it my dear cuddle ur pillow..
You should be patient untill you get pregnant,(i.e if you'r not already)before making such request.I behaved exactly like him when I first married,sometimes i even refuse her sex,because i was having a lot on my mind then.but now things are normal and we respect each other's feelings very well.
A lot of things could be the cause.
Love or Trust, Trust is much more important than Love. If someone loves me, it is more of that person’s business than mine. But if the same person trusts me, it places a duty on me to live up to that trust. In other words, Trust challenges one to reciprocate; Love might not always do that.....what's that ISSUE that gives you sleepless night in your relationship? Its time you talk to someone.
For your relationship issues and psychological counseling halla at
Petersonconsultant@yahoo.com
Or add up on 27FCBFBE for one on one conversation.
Dont blame him. I particularly dont cuddle too esp after i cum cuz i feel this guilt even when Its sex with my main chic. I just want her a distance from me. Well you should always sleep naked that way he prolly might get tempted to want more even when he is tired. That would make him end up holding (cuddling) .. Its a gradual process.
@lwkmd_naija
Dont blame him. I particularly dont cuddle too esp after i cum cuz i feel this guilt even when Its sex with my main chic. I just want her a distance from me. Well you should always sleep naked that way he prolly might get tempted to want more even when he is tired. That would make him end up holding (cuddling) .. Its a gradual process.
@lwkmd_naija
Hmmmm,thats marriage for u dear,try and talk to him,but to be sincere with uthat is him for u,is emotion and u cant change dat,
Hmm, didn't u court ur husband b4 u married him? Or didn't u guys talk about ur likes and dislike b4 u married him? Guess u should talk to him about it bt if he doesn't change, u just have to accept him as he is.
I feel for you my sister but i dont know why your hubby will not allow you cuddle up @ night but i fell he has respiratory problems that he might not want to talk about or disclose and your wrapping yourself around him makes it difficult for him to breathe.....Am a married man and my wife loves cuddling but due to some respiratory issues i have i dont allow her that much cuddling but i turn my back on her so she can grab me from d back and sleep so you might wanna try hugging him from behind at night
Hmmmm,thats marriage for u dear,try and talk to him,but to be sincere with uthat is him for u,is emotion and u cant change dat,
Hmmmm,thats marriage for u dear,try and talk to him,but to be sincere with uthat is him for u,is emotion and u cant change dat,
you should try having a conversation with him. Be open to each other, express what you feel to him and hear him out. I'm sure both of you will find a common ground.
you should try having a conversation with him. Be open to each other, express what you feel to him and hear him out. I'm sure both of you will find a common ground.
Talk it over with him
My dear sister, forget all those romantic movies u watch oooo majority of Nigerian men are not dat romantic as we see in movies oooo just accept ur reality and focus on making ur home a peaceful one. One love
Is not his fault after sex
Men feel somehow like hating their sex partner ➡LindaIkejiBlogClassRep_♥♥
Talk it over with him
Trouble everywhere
then make u live am naa shoooo.
Lols...protest for house,heheh #dear husband, bringbackhercuddles#
Sweetheart buy a teddy to cuddle,is not by force.or you use pillow one on your head,the other in between your legs and finally one you will grab on your hand.cuddle complete..is never that serious
then make u live am naa shooo... na waiting u do am , make u self think of waiting u do ..
Why did u not marry your boyfriend who has been cuddling you all this while. Seems you both are strangers still. Pele.
VIVACIOUS
Madam! Sowi! Bt who told u that is the best way two people who like each other shld sleep? I imagine ur pain, bt please dnt begin 2 feel unloved for trivial issues such as this. I say this cos em lyk him. I cld b cuddled in bed, bt wen it's tym 2 sleep, it keeps me very uncomfortable. Seriously, i cnt stand it. So, pray he understands ur point, bt if he dosnt, jst try n tolerate his!
u guys should talk about it let him see ur reasons.BETA STILL BUY URSELF A BIG TEDDY SO U COULD CUDDLE IT
Say what? Babe explain to him how ladies value cuddling than sex,as in ehn, I can break up with a guy for that. I see such men as people who just want women for child bearing and nothing else. God go punish any man wey go try am with me.
linda riot in anambra state uni
U cnt convince him.dnt even try to convince him.I'm also like ur husband and d reason is bcos we are exhausted nd we feel uncomfortable havin ur body weight close to us
I'm so sorry to hear that. My husband loves cuddling but doesn't like kissing!But i love both cuddling AND kissing... Not everyone is perfect like in our dreams.
So,what i'll say is that, you could look for a conducive environment and also check that he's in a good mood,then talk to him about it one on one...keep the communication lines open! Perhaps,he'll let you know why he doesnt like cuddles and maybe learn to because you love it.
Wish you all the best,dear.
Pls manage it,in case you tell him & couldn't flow as wished/expected...
And on the contrary, my own wife disconnects and hates cuddling...what kind of life is this? one man's meat, another man's poison...wish you are mine! galaxyview@yahoo.com
LMAO!!!! this is serious! first of all, talk with him and find out his reasons, tell him how u you feel, communicate and dialogue with him. don't make him feel like u want him to do it coz u want it but because u both need it. if he doesn't pay attention or heed to your plea,then after sex girl, stand up too and even move out of the room and make him feel the same way like u don't want to be touched too while sleeping. do that for a while like say 1 month and if he doesn't notice it and change, then girl u have to accept him for who he is and move on! when the kids come, u will have someone to cuddle while u sleep. u don't wanna tell people that the reason why u are having issues with your husband is because he doesn't like to cuddle in bed.
O ti yawerey. Of all the problems in marriage one could write about! Mtscheeew. Buy several pillows and cuddle yourself to death, steeewpid bitch!
*** Blacknfly@gmail.com ***
The pair of you need to talk about it.
I don't think that is the main reason try and let him open up to you what the real koko is haba!!!
THIS ONE NA SERZ GOBE........MY DEAR GO BUY THE BIGGEST TEDDY BEAR (HUMAN SIZE) AND LAY IT BETWEEN THE TWO OF U, CUDDLE IT IN A VERY SEXY MANNER, DO IT FOR DAYS AND TRUST ME HIS SENSES WILL COME BACK
Come and have ur cuddles
Things you don't know about Jonathan and Buhari
Try to understand him, some men like their space after sex because they are tired.
my dear, try to discuss with him about your worries. If he does not change then its your cross to bear oooo....
Woman allow the guy mke I'm sleep, hustling and work dey tomorrow, you need ur cuddle, you hve to check the work he does whether he really hve time of himself maybe he barely hve time for sex even so think nd understand him, he gave you SEX, now cuddle, hope nxt will be fingering
He doesn't love you period. He just needed a woman to call his wife.
Busy Fingers.
Hmmm, dis na serious mata o, u tell him wen u notice he's in a gud mood, u present it 2 him in a joking manner bt wt respect o
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!
which kin 1 come be dis?
Oya Lindi pple, let us hear from you.
Aiya
Hmmmmm na waooo, u hv 2 talk 2 him nd his mother 2. Or his a Gay?
if he ain't gvng it 2 u,get it smwhr else shikena.i dnt lk 2 b cuddled after sex either,i dunno why but it happends
xyz(aittyfinest)
Pele dear... U shud hv slept with him b4 marriage, u wud hv known & avoided dis, now u gats manage.
You are not alone in this situation. This is what I have lived with for 13 years and to be sincere, the marriage has become very boring to me because I do not see a chemistry existing in the relationship.
People are created differently!
my dear, i'm a female, i love to cuddle die...but believe me when i tell u dat i don't sleep well whenever i hv someone in bed with me....as much as someone else's body is touching mine, i just won't b able to sleep well...so don't b mad, so long as he cuddles u & treats u right,xcept for d sleeping times, just let him be...he is wired like dat...
Buy a teddy bear and get a life
I am in a similar situation and I must confess, it is not funny to me at all. For one, it makes the marriage very boring and there seem not to exist that chemistry between my wife and I.
Suffice me to say that I am not happy being in the relationship because my wife is not close to me as I want.
My dear, I was in the same situation when I got married almost 4 years ago. My husband never wanted to cuddle at night after we got married and would roll away if I touched him when he was asleep. But with time I got to understand that it didn't mean he wasn't in love with me but he just needed time to adjust to this new lifestyle of having a woman clinging to him all day. It might take a while but just keep at it, but gently. Tease about it when he's in a good mood and don't make an issue out of it because that will only push him away. With time he'll be the one asking for cuddles but just make sure you don't nag about it for now.
Have a blissful marriage dear.
It's about meeting halfway. You can try to talk to him and suggest this to him. Let him sleep first of all and when he is drifted you can then come and lay on his chest and hold him, that way he won't know when you are doing it and he can still get his sleep. There are many reasons why this happens so I would also suggest that you talk to him to know his reasons and how it affect his sleep. That way you would have narrowed things down and we would be able to help you out a little more.
you can always write to me or read up on people who have some issues also. my email is askralphblog@gmail.com you can check things out when you go to www(dot)askralphblog(dot)com
Hope things can work out for you. Take care...
#gay
I'm just saying....
My,please check your hair ensure your head is not the major turn of.Let your hair smell good.Secondly,some men are very irritated after sex,try washing off and staying dry immediately after sex and see how that works.Communication is very important.Let him know exactly how you feel about his actions,maybe he would bulge and you two can take it up from their.Remember this is your marriage we are talking about.
Did not notice that b4 u got married 2 him? That is why it's really important 2 really date someone b4 getting married or may be u just got married 2 his money and now u want him 2 change from who he is, u have 2 manage, or else u want that comfort from me , I can cuddle.
He can't change,dnt bother,buy a teddy bear!
My dear pray to God and than approach him abt it
You really have to talk to him about it.
Over to married people.
MY SISTER, I WAS IN YOUR HUSBANDS SHOE BEFORE, I JUST WANT TO BE AS FREE AS BIRD WHEN I SLEEP, BUT MY WIFE CANNOT SLEEP WITHOUT CUDDLING ME. THERE COMES THE TOLERANCE, BECAUSE OF THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HER, I HAVE TO LEARN TO DO IT AND NOW I AM USED TO IT. IF HE LOVES YOU, HE WILL CHANGE BECAUSE THAT IT ONE GOOD WAY TO SETTLE YOUR FIGHT WITHOUT IT GETTING TO THE NEXT DAY.
oh woman pls... and you come to a blog to complain about this..grow up.. what will happen when you have more serious rpoblmens? and you will! run to all the blogs?
now to your issue. its not an issue. respect your mana's stand on cuddling. not everyone likes it. even as a female, i dont like it. but talk to him about it. if he loves you he should care about how important it is to you and compromise. youtwo should strike a bargain. dont expect cuddling all the time but once in a while, yeah
He doesn't like you
That should have been discussed when you guys were courting. Certain things like number of children, Sex, how to run d family, finances etc should be discussed b4 d wedding. Just pray about it dear and then tell him in a loving way. Goodluck
NOTE: THIS IS THE BEST ADVICE YOU WILL GET HERE - Young lady, it is not the best way to sleep. For you maybe. I don't like anything touching me either when i'm sleeping, i want to be on my own, regardless of any sexual activity that may have just taken place a few minutes earlier. My man likes to cuddle, but he knows me better and knows to leave me on my own. Dont' think it's something you can talk to him about, you cannot change this. Leave him be and buy yourself the biggest teddy bear you can find in the market and name him MR. CUDDLES. On a lighter note, if you don't like this advice, you and I can swap partners! Lol!
When u guys were dating, was he d cuddling type? . . Meanwhile,if dat is d only issue u have in ur marriage, u're damn so lucky bae!
Hmm na wa o! Cuddle nai con b problem again?? Make him undastand dat u can't continue like dat so dat u don't end up dying in silence o
Ii love to cuddle too...prpbly he doesn't love u?
U guys never slept together before marriage?? Hian! U don enter one chance o
Hmm na wa o! Cuddle nai con b problem again?? Make him undastand dat u can't continue like dat so dat u don't end up dying in silence o
Hmm na wa o! Cuddle nai con b problem again?? Make him undastand dat u can't continue like dat so dat u don't end up dying in silence o
Easy dear. I used to be like that until my man turned me around. He will come around ok
Lol so marriage is dis painful I hope I do not marry d wrong man who will not be comfortable with me in any area God help u dear to find a way of communicating with him
Marriage can Suck at times. Those who haven't married yet should make sure they're fully ready to get settled. When I mean "fully ready" it should be mentally, psycologically, spiritually and physically ready to get settled. Dear poster, all you have to keep doing is persevering and always talk to him concerning that. Am sure he would turn out for better.
It is all men.All your weight is on your man when you cuddle and this make him uncomfortable.It is not hatred,bear with him
hz not serious
missvee
Seriously I'm like ur hubby I feel same way...
He is gay
You thought he would change when, una say I do? Get used to it or buy a big teddy lol!
It's all very true. But the problem is that the pressure place on the ladies these days is just too much. It's not easy to keep holding on. I feel it all starts from you, who you are and how confident you are about yourself. Knowing the right reasons to do the right things and having the right amount of patience. Being able to know what is best for you and ignoring what people might or might not say. Concentrating more on building yourself as a person. Abeg e plenty...
not just for the ladies though, for the men also.
you can check my blog www(dot)askralphblog(dot)com I offer direct help and advice for general life issue. you will definitely find topics that would help you out or read up on stories of others that I have helped.
Gemini babe
When you were dating you didn't know? You guys should have talked about stuff like this. Well, four months is too early to start resigning yourself to live like this. Please seat him down and have a heart to heart with him, don't whine and don't be confrontational.
Don't worry dear, very soon he will get used to it. I used to be like him when my husband and I got married. I never allowed him cuddle me in bed, cos it made me very uncomfortable and I could hardly sleep in that condition. He complained for sometime. With time, I got used to it and now I can hardly sleep without his hands around me as it makes me feel protected. Don't worry honey, it's a gradual process and your hubby will get used to it.
maybe personal hygiene, smell good and be sexy
every time people would say "marriage isn't what i thought"so stupid...didn't u court him to know his kind of person...the courting i mean is not 3month ish...court a man or lady before marriage..stop using marriage institution to justify ur stupidity.
#poka
My ex-boyfriend hates it too,one of the reason I left him.I can sleep on my husband till day break.My conclusion was that my ex is not so strong to carry my weight but my husband who can withstand all kinds of stress ,enjoys this kind of stress. Didn't you notice it when you guys were dating ????
Lol.
There re whole lots of things music can do to someone. It pierces deep into the soul and arouse the inner emotions of the mind. Nothing like it. #ilovegoodmusic #Rockhillsmusicgroup #Onyinyemu #Oyorima #Totori @T_DazzlinRMG
Awww!... hmmmm... y not trying talking to him, tell him how badly u need cuddling n I believe he will listen. Communication is the key dear
I dont like cuddling in bed too, that makes the two of us. Atimes my husband will say I am not romantic lol.
It is well! Cuddling shouldn't b all d time
Madam on step at a time.I am a woman and I do hate cuddling. For now u can get a Teddy. When he ask why u cuddle a teddy just let him know how u feel
nigga dsnt want to be disturbed in his sleep, so let him be just that, if you are so cuddle crazy find the next pillow by your side and cuddle for ages!!
Give him a benefit of Doubt do something dat wil make him ask or even beg for it.
Maybe he was not ur best friend before U married him.You shuld hav knw his kind of person.Frm damselaa.
I don't thing he loves you....me as a person I don't like sharing bed coz I love spreading but with my man I cuddle like a baby with him,and he doesn't say no,he's not a cuddy person but with me he just has to do it,coz he's inlove with me...please talk to him about it
I guess dis is my wife, i nvr liked cuddling b4 we got married & she knws.....Poster's husband
lols... jst saying
Maybe you smell after sex. Just saying.
Some people are like that. Wenever he is in a good mood, talk to him quietly and nicely about it. Cry, if u must, to make him see reasons. With time, he'll adjust. Marriage is all about sacrifice. Goodluck.
haha.. this is kind of funny sha.. i think it's just bcos he feels sweaty and hot and touching him at that moment would just not be pleasing to him.. just chill and sleep on your side of the bed he will look for your body on cold nights lolzz :P :)
I use to think i was the only one that hate cuddling now i know there's someone out there that doesn't like it too, if for the sake of reassuring your mate i think you should learn to cuddle because that's exactly what I'm doing now, not east though but sometimes we have to sacrifice to prove our love
What makes you think your way is the best way? He is rejecting this idea of yours because he feels you are trying to lord your idea over him. Respectfully talk to him about it and how cuddling makes you feel- he will be more open to your need.
Wow dt's serious o, u hv to encourage him to see a psychologist wo will be able to enlighten him on d importance of cuddling after s*x. It's well
Convince? There's no way. He has said he doesn't like anything touching him when he's sleeping. That's harsh, and sounds like an unrepentant non-cuddler. Madam, you dey on ya own.
he jst want to sex not to make love .coz is two different thing.somebody that sex u wil rush and get up , but wen u make love it look like no end match bcoz both enjoy it even sleep off .
Dear girl forgive me if I sound patronizing but at this stage you are in marriage, you are a girl. You are just realizing that marriage and dating are 2 different ball games. Husbands turnout to be completely different from the men they were while dating. So my dear sit tight as you mature into a woman in marriage. As for cuddling, most Naija men are not cuddlers. Maybe it is even most men generally,its just that oyibo movies have shown us that men cuddle so maybe oyibo men do. Our Nigerian weather has been used as one of their excuses. The heat is too much they say why make yourselves hotter?!! By now you should have put 2 and 2 tgether - my husband aint no cuddler too. Ive grown into a woman from the girl I was when we got married over 9 years ago. So will you.
oh dear , this really isn't a big deal , i was in love with a man who didn't like cuddling especially after sex or at bed time , it was nothing personal , it wasn't about me it was all him , more than anything else he hated having his cum on his skin so he won't cuddle with you not because he doesn't want to but because he was disgusted with himself and usually bed time for him meant strictly bed time ,,, and really don't be fooled no one wants to cuddle the entire night .. it gets hot and you just need space so find other times during the day or night to cuddle and ask him why he doesn't like to cuddle and you can go from there ...your'e welcome
A man who wouldn't cuddle you even if it's for a minute after sex, doesn't truly love you. Dat treatment is what men give to women dey are really not in to
U are not alone poster. Bn married 5yrs now and still begging to b cuddled. If dh agrees, it wont even last 5mins before he find excuse to change position. I'm getting used to it. Invest in lots of pillow and improvise. Annoying though
Didn't you notice all this things before you married him??
Why should you discomfort someone that has less than 6 hours to sleep with cuddling?
Sleep is for maximum rest to refresh... My shoulders are still hurting because my wife insist on turning it into her pillow.
Can't have a decent sleep because she would always wake me up with statements like 'baby cuddle me and why are you backing me?'
Sleep has lost the restful side... I even think she should occupy our spare room, abeg.
mtchwwwe
Aheadahead9ja
this is so funny, but as long his a gud man if he did not like been cuddle den you should get use to it nw and be happy.
Wahala waoooo.I don't know wy some ladies can't be patient.Must u rush into marriage jst bcos your fwends are getting married.anyay,tell him and if he insist dat that is wat he want,let him be.didn't u see all dis bf getting married to him?
Will sit and read other lib readers comment I passed through same broke up b4 I would mk a mistake in my marriage I love cuddle more than sex but he just want sex and after dat everybody face ur wall.
My husband hates it too,I tried to change him, but I couldn't. Get over it since he doesn't like it.guess you are a last born.
I dnt understand why u shld get married to someone u dnt knw wat he likes and wat he dislikes. Maybe u shld let go of cuddling or u tel him how u love to be cuddled, if he luvs u, he will learn how to cuddle u.
U need ur cuddles. .he needs his space...oya let d war begin! My sis biko der is something called compromise. ...I was in doz shoes bt I had to compromise for peace to reign. ..after lovemaking I carry my fone n open LIB..dat keeps me busy till sleep finally comes to my eyes yil hubby sleeps off imdtly aftr d show...so pls fimd a way to make urself happy n enjoy ur sex wit ur hubby...dz life is too short.....
Story
He's ur husband so u must call his attention to it and if it doesn't work u can then inform ur pastor b4 it's too late.didnt u guys dated b4 marriage.
This are things you should have known and dealt with before marriage. Well the best thing now is to to talk to him calmly and find out why and also let him understand that you need your cuddles.
I tink u suld sit him down nd talk 2 him. Tel me wat u wan nd lyk. Both of u cn wrk tinz out
Seek the services of a marriage counsellor..
Ahh!!! tell am oh. But you guys would have discussed this or talked a lil about what you like ( sexually ) if you guys were not intimate before marriage. Try to explain to him in a manner he wouldn't get upset that you luv to cuddle. Best of luck
A lot of pple don't like anytn to touch dem when asleep. But ur hubby can adjust for ur sake..
Shuo.. una no knack b4 marriage? Abeg this story is strange. So u didn't notice that b4 marrying him huh? My dear..wear sexy lingerie n sleep..wen he tries to touch u for sex..tell him u don't want to bcos u'd wanna cuddle n he wouldn't. .so u'd rather be left alone. Let him sleep with his boner like dat.
Buy Better Body spray / perfume!!!
Dear girl forgive me if I sound patronizing but at this stage you are in marriage, you are a girl. You are just realizing that marriage and dating are 2 different ball games. Husbands turnout to be completely different from the men they were while dating. So my dear sit tight as you mature into a woman in marriage. As for cuddling, most Naija men are not cuddlers. Maybe it is even most men generally,its just that oyibo movies have shown us that men cuddle so maybe oyibo men do. Our Nigerian weather has been used as one of their excuses. The heat is too much they say why make yourselves hotter?!! By now you should have put 2 and 2 tgether - my husband aint no cuddler too. Ive grown into a woman from the girl I was when we got married over 9 years ago. So will you.
U need which cuddles??? Una no date? Abi u never cuddled when u were dating? Some people just won't stop amazing me o
Now you are married and complaining as if u just met him,deal with it lady!
Phil
So, you ,married a man knowing he doesn't like to hold you???????
lmao at i need my cuddles. OMG I love to cuddle, can't imagine not. He apparently is not a "cuddler" and you either have to suck it up or show him d way. You know what? Tell him to experiment cuddling for just 3 days. Not you holding him because it seems like he has trust issues while he sleeps. When you are about to sleep turn your back towards him while he faces your back, ease into him a little and let his hand drape over your waist a little, the next day go a bit further, let your legs intertwine you can also try some caressing, get adventurous but don't take it too far or else he'll bolt. Try this for 3 days and see if he likes it. If not, you may have to talk to a therapist/marriage counselor.Ms Feefs
The first tools is communication talk to him tell him how his action makes u feel, study his mood and know when to talk ok.
The first tools is communication talk to him tell him how his action makes u feel, study his mood and know when to talk ok.
i am sure u guys dated for a while before you got married, so you should have know your hubby during dating and as such dis wont be new to you now.
Lol... That's why it is necessary to date nd communicate very well before marriage!
Did you not date him before marrying him? So don't you know all this? Which means you don't even know your hubi very well . Anyway try na to talk to him. CHI.
I am disappointed in your man. He doesn't resemble me at all. Cuddling is the best part of after-sex actions/reactions.
Lady please be patient. I used to have such discomfort as a young man, its so bad that I cant even sleep if the lady is still awake. But I found out that it will be a problem when I get married so I started trying to correct it and now I am used to it.
Also know that some men can not change in this situation .So try to work on it and if it doesnt get better just take it as it is and pray too.
Apparently it seems sex before marriage is just great! that way you know what you're dealing with. because I mean.. you can't go hard on the man for not liking to cuddle.. most people don't.. especially when sleeping. they may not be able to sleep at all.. now, don't go hard on me for advocating intimacy before marriage.. things like this could be avoided. helps us marry someone we are compatible with.
Come lemme cuddle you!
@izikobie
Linda....I still wonder wetin u dey always do with my comments?
Ehyaa!
I like cuddle too, nd my gf feel safe dat way...I tink u shud talk 2 him
Ehya aa, sorry babe!! This really amused me ooo, I pray he'll change. Maybe he is going thru a psychological trauma. So u both neva pasted a night together?
I had this same experience from my husband ,have been married for 7 month now pregnant with our first child my hubby d,nt cuddle me even with pregnancy. i had to buy a pregnant care pillow which i cuddle every night.most night i cry every night.now am so so used to my pillow.
Go n buy a large teddy bear and cuddle it.
Its nt strange for ur husband to not want to cuddle, d reason is after sex he is tired and he needs to sleep, so cuddling prevents him from sleepin, if ur head is on his chest and all he wil still be awake, dats nt comforable for him, d solution is for him to compromise a lil by cuddling u at least 10 minutes after sex, den after dat u gv him permission to sleep. Sex is energy zapping for men.
Before marriage ddnt u knw he dosnt cuddle???????
Maybe you guys would get to figure something out eventually. You guys just started living together.
I won't lie, I also don't like to cuddle when I sleep. I can cuddle when we are just talking or gisting....basically when we are awake.
When I want to sleep,I really just want to sleep in my own corner without obstructions.
Talk to him...
He is not attracted to you. Every man loves being cuddled by his heart desire. Probably he married for selfish reasons .
hmm na wao o... no be only cuddles, na pampers, after u don sap all him energy u still dey find cuddles., ladies una sabi selfish sometimes.
Please give the man his space and cuddle your pillow/teddy bear. What if reverse is the case, that you are the one that hates cuddle during sleep?Abeg marriage is not to inconvenience another person, that is being very selfish. Atleast he makes love to you and it satisfies you......sleep my dear is sleep. I as a lady likes my sleep without the inconvenience of someone touching me. Please, learn to adjust or better still, buy a teddy bear. Let the man have his dear sleep after a hard day's job jor!!!!! Marriage is enjoyable, it all depends on how you view it or your mindst before you got into it.
You never see anything... Life isn't a bed of roses my dear... That's the man you married and you have to live with it... Fairy tales are not tire most times... There are ups and downs...
Lmaooooooo. I hate being cuddled too even as a lady. Simply get used to your new development madam
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