Dear LIB readers: Is marriage worth it? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

LI_Leaderboard_4

LI_Leaderboard_1

LI_Leaderboard_2

LI_Leaderboard_3

Thursday 18 September 2014

Dear LIB readers: Is marriage worth it?

From a female LIB reader
I just turned 25 year old two days ago. And as usual my mum will call me up and pray for me and tell me how old I am and that means that I need to get married.
Growing up, I have always thought I'll find the perfect Soul mate that would always love me. But as I have grown older, I've come to realize that it will never happen. There is no man that will not end up cheating on you or in some case, exhibit domestic violence. I have seen a lot of families go through either or both. I dont think I envy my friends getting married. I'm beginning to doubt if I should get married at all. Is it necessary? I know we are in Nigeria and this is frowned upon  but I need sincere answers. Is marriage worth it?
Oh I think it is. Very much so. I don't think you should stay married if you're miserable...but you must try it....at least once in your life time. What do y'all think?

208 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 208 of 208
Anonymous said...

marriage is not easy…go into if your heart is there for your partner. and marriage is NOT for everyone. Nigerians behave as if you are not married u r disabled and its highly irritating. THAT VERY MARRIAGE IS AGING, THAT VERY MARRIAGE MAY NOT MAKE U HAPPY. THAT VERY MARRIAGE WILL CHANGE YOU..so people do not frown upon people who do not commit to a union because if it was meant to be for everyone …we will men:women equally.

Anonymous said...

Fictitious story o, Linda. Dis is you expressing your fears. We all know that for your father to have finally apporved your buying your Range means there is now a man in your life, but you are developing cold feet. Hehehee....babe, marry the man and if he F-up, roll your box into your cocaine white Range, load the rest of your property into the Infinity and Camry, blow his black ass a kiss and zoom off (make sure it is a hot, sunny and dusty day so you leave a film of dust all over him). Marriage is beautiful, may God give us all our hearts desires.

Anonymous said...

Well said @ AJ Kamal. Poster, marriage can be a great experience but, it needs to be between 2 whole, mature, God fearing people or else it can be a real nightmare. And I agree, your happiness and worth are not tied to your marital status.

Focus on becoming the best that you can be. Keep an open positive mind. Try to understand marriage and the roles of the spouses from God's point of view and trust him to give you rest whatever situation you find yourself, and you'll be just fine.

Don't give in to the spirit of fear. God's word promises you will not lack your own mate. He promises to establish his purposes for you and you know that god's gift does not add sorrow.

Begin to declare to yourself today that your own case will be different. That God himself will bring your own husband and teach you how to be the wife he has designed you to be. That he will give you and your spouse to love Him and one another enough to let God write your story.

Please, no matter the horror stories you hear, your story can be different if you have faith and if you keep in close step with the lover of your soul. You are blessed.

Chyluv! said...

Linda wait oh! U say try it, like @ least 1ce. Meaning it may nt last, hence other trials. That's being negative.

Anonymous said...

Thank you anon 1:20

Anonymous said...

This is my first time commenting on this blog. I’ve been married two years now and to be honest, it wasn’t what I expected. I have endured and tolerated loads of rubbish that I wouldn’t tolerate on a good day.

my husband has assaulted me more than three times and I’m still here with him.

Marriage is a personal decision. It is OVERRATED and OVERHYPED. I don’t see anything good about marriage apart from children which you can have with someone out of wedlock. Marriage is more of a status thing.

It depends on who you get married to and if you two have an understanding. In marriage, one person has to play the fool and the status quo is for women to play the fool while men step on their heads and achieve their goals.

A lot of people confuse wedding with marriage. Marriage is a different ball game and you have to be skilled in that department, otherwise one would fail.

Marriage can make or break you. I used to think being married ensured security and certainty but it doesn’t. I don’t see any difference between single couples and married couples, because married men still cheat on their wives, so what is the point of saying I do.

The person that is supposed to be your everything, turns out to be your worst nightmare. my husband once told me that I’m not his blood and that our children are his blood.

Most married people pretend, me too i’ve become a pretender. I’m yet to see a genuinely happily married couple without any issue. My parents are separated. My father cheated and impregnated a girl my age, whilst my father-in-law cheats on his wife and she pretends that her marriage is perfect.

SO WHAT IS THE POINT? WHY AM I STILL MARRIED? WHY DON’T I CARRY MY TWO CHILDREN AND START A NEW LIFE.

I guess the answer to that is that the grass is not greener on the other side.

we should all try to focus on the positives instead of the negatives and make ourselves happy, irrespective of our partners and most importantly focus on GOD.

Anonymous said...

Marriage is a choice, I have seen married people who are happy and those who are not happy, I have seen single women very happy and those that are unhappy.

I have chosen not to marry because I don't want to. If you want to get married go ahead my dear, but know one thing you are not perfect and don't expect the guy you are settling with to be perfect because there is no perfect person and please have realistic expectations.

Someone here said something about marriage completes one, point of correction it does not, you must be a whole complete person before venturing in a marriage, if you think you need someone to complete you then you are in for a wreck.

1. That is being selfish how can an imperfect person complete an another imperfect being, goodness me. You will drain that person because the only person that can complete you is Christ.

2. Another person here said she needs no friends because she is married, that is really whack, you need women friends and may be female relations to create a balance in your life.There will be moments you need a woman's perspective in one or two things. You are putting too much expectations on your husband. You strike me like the type that thinks being married is an achievement it is not it is a choice.

3. Marriage is choice so is being single but instead of you to commit fornication please marry but if you can stay alone find good christian singles to support you and remain strong.

4.Please try and find joy in life most of all God, your relationship with God should be firm strong and joyful. It is only Christ that can give you that fulfillment not mother, father, child, sister, brother, wife or husband. Hold firmly unto God so that he will give you the strength to be all you can be, while waiting for that good man, marriage is a wonderful institution but be ready to put in as much as you are expecting.

Have a wonderful day.

Fellas am out of here.

Anonymous said...

It is not compulsory to get married pls. If she doesn't want to then that is her decision. it is her life, and nigerians should stop this habit of thinking they have the right to tell others how to live their lives.

«Oldest ‹Older   201 – 208 of 208   Newer› Newest»

Recent Posts