Watch ex-wives of Zaaki Adzay, Frank Edoho and other women share stories of domestic violence | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Watch ex-wives of Zaaki Adzay, Frank Edoho and other women share stories of domestic violence

In support of Peace One Day's Global Truce 2012 'Reducing Domestic Violence' Campaign and in celebration of Peace Day taking place on the 21st of September, the Wellbeing Foundation Africa is creating awareness of the human and emotional cost of domestic violence by launching a short Eliminate Domestic Violence documentary which voices the experiences of gender-based violence victims.



Given that over 50% of Nigerian women are abused by their husbands, this video represents a call for the complete eradication of gender-based violence and a milestone in the campaign to amplify public awareness of domestic violence and empower victims to voice their experiences without reproach. During the March 21st 2012 press launch of the Global Truce 2012 Campaign, the Wellbeing Foundation Africa Founder-President H.E Mrs. Toyin Saraki addressed both the problem of gender-based violence and its potential solutions. In keeping with its pledge to mobilize networks in support of Peace One Day's Global Truce 2012, the Wellbeing Foundation Africa has implemented various initiatives including the Peace Summit in Ilorin which promoted harmony, tolerance and conflict resolution through dialogue; the Walk Against Rape in Lagos which encouraged rape victims to speak out; and the Peace Prayer Outreach in Kwara State which enriched the lives of those in need and advocated for understanding between religions. These efforts all served to promote peace, non-violence and solidarity within Nigeria and more importantly advanced the vision of Peace One Day.

73 comments:

Dollarpo said...

na wa o! so Frank actually beat his wife??? i used to respect Frank..i am so dissapointed in him! single ladies, pls dont ever feel bad that ure still single. its an opportunity to be patient and marry right.

BONARIO NNAGS said...

hmmmm just like skinny jeans and brazzilian hair,I guess the new trend now is domestic violence,be it from d man or d woman. As usual women being d presumed weaker sex easily draw more sympathy and attention in such issues. I guess abused men will have to remain at d mercy of neighbour who comes to there rescue from penis grabbing wives.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

ALEX said...

Hmmmm...... Nawa oooo

Toinlicious said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Linda,i didnt see Frank Edoho's 'ex-wife?clip mstly of men speaking out against this crime(and i can bet my life that mst of them self are 'killiwi-Nwachukwu'in their homes too)surprised howevr to note that Frank Edoho can abuse his wife as short as he is?if na me be that him wife,i for so beat am back sotay him go short pass Maltex bottle wey him be before.

Unknown said...

No No No, even Frank? Don't tell me dat all dat polished looks and swagger is a villian! Too bad. And I had so much admiration for him. heard dese stories b4 but hearing them from the ex-wives, pheeewwww

Anonymous said...

Tragic.

onyii said...

i just watched this on another blog, and i say it is heart breaking, so many women go through this everyday, and the most annoying thing is that our society and culture make women to believe that it is normal to be beaten by our husbands. Laws have to be put in place, laws that will protect women from such violence, and the churches have to be reasonable, don`t preach to me that i must stay in a mad man`s house because the bible says i must not divorce, a living divorcee is better than a dead submissive wife.

Truth Teller said...

I am just upset. Most Nigerian men need total re-orientation, but they're too proud to accept it. I've never seen a religion or culture that approves of a man maltreating and worst still beating up his wife, please correct me if i'm wrong. (I'm writing as a christian.) The concept of submission has been so grossly misunderstood. it's one of the parts of scripture that even pastors mis-interprete just because it favors them, but not so. Submission doesn't mean the woman is a door mat and dummy, NO! it means between the man and woman, someone has the final say and that's the man - granted.Women are NOT restricted from fulfilling purpose in life even to the point of becoming the president of a nation! Some men think if you don't cook, clean do laundry, lie flat on the floor to greet them,sevre their food with water to wash their hands, a woman is not submissive. May I add that for some women, it works, but that's FAR from what submission is.The same scripture that talks about submission mentions that gthe man should love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it.It goes to further mention that men should love their wives as they would their own bodies by adding that no man would want to harm/hurt/beat/disfigure is own body, but MOST Nigerian men have done exactly the oposite, while quoting to the woman that she should be submissive, talk about balancing scriptures! so what are we talking about here bikonu??? If any woman finds herself in this situation, please speak out.If you can't speak, send a message. If you're a single lady, watch out. Observe traces of violence and if you find any, don't bother getting into the marriage.We've seen and heard this times without number- if he hits you once, he'll hit you again. Ultimately we have to pray a lot. Some men are wolves in sheeps clothing and get violent after marriage. Pray,Pray,Pray. God is not man and his ways are not ours. you can have a good marriage.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I guess we still have hope in this country with the activities of this NGO our leaders will focus on the right things. There are no excuses for domestic violence. I wish her all the best in her fight.

Emem said...

i weep for this women and many more that have to live through such. Some man do not deserve to live. How can you hit a woman not to even mention a pregnant woman?

I pray we will get to a point in Nigeria where men like those talked about will be thrown in jail for their stupidity.

IAmhairs said...

and their 'boxers celebrity husbands' would come out to advocate on positive things on tv while they do the opposite in their various homes.....there are thousands of things that will eat up women than raising your hand on them....well maybe their actions was passed down to them by their dad or what do i even say?.....GOD BLESS MY MUM,GOD BLESS WOMEN,GOD BLESS LINDA.

Zinny said...

Domestic violence is wrong. view my blog at www.zinnyogey.blogspot.com

Unknown said...

Wow, big ups Toyin Saraki, these are the kind of women we need in Nigeria. Not women who keep promoting promiscuity, nudity and stupidity. So Zaaki's ex-wife is this pretty! Domestic Violence is more rampant than we think. if only some so-called 'Happily Married' women can tell you their story. Frank Edoho is one of the biggest Nigerian 'disgraces'!

Truly find out what true love truly means...lol
www.ahdaizy.wordpress.com
http://wp.me/p2f9On-fE

African Sweetheart said...

So important.

http://africansweetheart.blogspot.co.uk/

Gaia said...

Wow; it takes courage to speak up about this cos a lot of us just 'manage' marriage and take a lot of shit; Kudos to them! Bet their exes are not finding it funny sha :D

Anonymous said...

Yes. I watched this earlier. Domestic abuse absolutely needs to be addressed in naija. Over 50% pf the women are physically abused not to talk of mental abuse. That is a different story. What is sad is that a lot of the women including women dating don't even 'know' they are being abused. They think it is normal. I have a few nieces, sisters and sister in laws to buttress my point. part of the problem is quite a lot of these women, grew up in homes that abuse was common place and all have low or non existent self esteem. I could go on. Some even see it as an expression of love.....;.

Daily Miracle Prayer said...

Patience,comminication,understanding,peace and love shld be seen in families.
(Emekanews).

smile said...

Linda, do you mean 21st September or October.

Anonymous said...

@anonymous 4:12pm, how can any sane person see abuse, whether mental or physical as an expression of love? Its beats my imagination cos dey need prayers to be healed of their low self esteem. After all were we not all created in God's image and likeness? I truly support dis NGo 100%, may God bless that woman's heart and effort. Let other Ngo's too be set up for other causes like sexual harrasment and rape'' i bliv i understand the trauma dat comes wid rape especially. Infact i dont mind championing d cause for it! Jus let God make it possible for me , with time i bliv it will happen.

Mistr Tee said...

Ladies keep talking.Some Women are Jezebels to your husband the man becomes a villian when he hit his wife and the whole World get to know about it,do you actually know what goes on in some homes but on the other hand A man that hit his wife while pregnant with his child is an absolute moron better you just walk away when she does something really bad.Men on other hand pray to have a wife that will bring peace to your home not the Jezebel types that will frustrate you with their actions and when you react angrily she tells the World about it then people will then point fingers that you are bad when they don't know nothing about what goes on in the family.

Anonymous said...

it makes me wonder if a guy truely loves you or not because after marriage it turns to be another issues entirely. especially when you are pregnant as if its not a 2 way thing, they begin to hate you, some dont even eat your food. it makes me wonder where is the love?women you need to pray hard and do good. may God bless us with righteous spouse.

Anonymous said...

THIS IS A BIG SHAME. Zaki Azzay or however its speld and other men that have raised their haands to hit a woman, You are all animals. a woman should never be beaten up, yes, women can be frustrating, yes they may nag, but there are better ways(which doesnt include cheating) of handling matters like this. Ladies, if he hits u once and apologises, and he does it again...he will keep doing it. you either Run for ur life or betta still abeg BEAT YOUR OWN BACK! Tha Hell!

Anonymous said...

Zinnia:
BONARIO, you have a point. I think abused men need to start speaking out too but they would be too shy and ashamed of doing because society will perceive them as weaklings.

Anonymous said...

The first incidence of domestic violence is usually during pregnancy because there is some hormonal and emotional upheaval in the woman making her more emotional and argumentative. A lot of men are ignorant of this and therefore respond violently. Patience is key. If your wife gets on your nerves, leave the house for her for at least 12hrs. Of course the problem could continue where you left it when you get back - then seek counselling.

Nekky said...

dis is dis-heartening. i can relate to these women cos my mom was once a victim and she couldn't even speak out cos of her children. domestic violence is not sth i will wish for my enemy. the emotional and pschological trauma is sth else. my constant prayer is that my future hubby will never try it on me cos really i can't deal. seen enough as a child. pls my dear ladies and women that are going thru domestic violence, i implore you to speak up and leave. let's stand up against this monster that wants to render us useless but in so doing, let's learn where to keep calm when the argument begins to get outta hand, let's not give the men any reason to hit us (not that there can never be any justifiable reason). and to the men, as hard as it is, just walk away. bliv me u will feel better if u walk away and ur woman will have more respect for u. domestic violence can be eradicated if we all say yes to peace and work towards tolerating each other's differences. God bless us all

John Olufemi said...

Hello,


I know this is not the best forum to post this, but i need an email or phone contact of the comedian Ali Baba, and or Charlie boy. although i would hhave prefered Ali baba. I have got a concept, i wish to propose to either any one of them. It is a very good idea i believe they can carry out.

Any one of them can contact me via this number 08066920770 or by email "fm4real2k6@yahoo.com.

I will appreciate that.


Ideas rule the world.

Anonymous said...

I was in an abusive relationship for 5yrs ,,he luvd me 2 pieces bt can't control his temper
becos I tolerated him 4 so long he felt I was confortable wiv it nd refused to change
I wll never 4get d 2 hot slaps I received wen I said its ova,he beat me so hard nd threatend my life,YEAH it was dat bad,he tot he ownd me cos I was submissive nd luvd him
He realised I was serious after A̷̷̴̐͠ mnth nd he started beggin as usual txtng nd even dropin luv notes 4 me but I was fed up
Its been 6yrs now nd am happy,,ran into him at shoprite lst year nd he told me 'he has never raised his hands on any lady cos leavin him made him realise his mistake
ThankGod I left him if nt he wld stll b A̷̷̴̐͠ monster!!!!!!! t

lili said...

No to domestic violence. And a big shame to men that abuse their wives. Is that a good legacy to leave behind in this world? All men that hit their wives for any reason have a weakness in character and I repeat a big SHAME to u!

Anonymous said...

Bonario you are very funny...loooooool

Anonymous said...

anon 2.48pm lool @ maltex bottle comment

Unknown said...

I believe there's really no excuse for being physically/emotionally abusive to your spouse......mature adults resolve disagreements through discussions, followed by taking necessary steps to ensure that actions/speech that triggered such disagreements are not repeated.

If all else fails, and your spouse becomes a nightmare, it's better to leave the marriage than turn him/her to a daily object of abuse.....it's one of the worst forms of disrespect to a human being.....it strips people of their self-confidence and self-believe, leaving them with a sense of worthlessness.....

Physical/emotional abuse never makes things right or improves people.....it only makes things worse.....

My heart goes out to these women.....very sad.....

Austin Uche said...

There are two set of people i hate their actions the most.
1. A Chronic Hypocrite(man or woman)
2. A woman beater.
As a married man, one will fink ur ready and matured enuf to handle d ish dah cums wif ur wife and marriage in general... U must accept the fact dat a woman can drive one crazy wif her utterances, if it has nuh happened to u yet, fank God and keep doin wat ur doing to avoid such utterance frm ur wifey. Buh if it is happening already, then u have to deal wif as a matured married man u are... No matter wat ur wife says, even if she curses ur mother for example, jes have it in mind dat she is also cursing her mother, smile and then walk out frm her presence. If she insults u, jea knw dat she is insulting her husband dah she vowed to live wif and married, so she is cursing herself.. Bcos if u curse wat is urs, then ur also cursing urself... Buh pls men, never ever raise ur big or small hand and beat ur wife, sum mehn even beat their wives in front of their kids, my dad did it alot, my mum was helpless bcos we were young.... Buh wen we grew older, we started beating d dude in d defence of our mum. And d cycle mite jes continue. See all d battery dah my mum recieved, God knws dat if my old man dies today, i will not cry(God forgive me pls). I also made a resolve never to ever touch a woman no matter wah. Trust me, there are times i was seriously tempted by gurl friends, buh wen i remember my mum, i jes walk out... Dats d best way mehn to avoid ish. Also u have to watch and pray... Issues like this always need God's intervention. Pls pray hard o. May God help our unmarried girls wif their life partner choices, and may God help we the unmarried dudes to be able to appropriately handle ish like these o IJN... Amen.... Sorry for ma long story, i am extremely passionate wen it cums to domestic violence on women and kids........... #ok, bye bye...... Lolz

Anonymous said...

Worthy cause by Toyin Saraki...Pls Naija women sign up for self-defensive courses....to be fore-warned is to be fore-armed..dem no dey knw finish o!if such hapens,by d time u deal d man one blow n seven akpus,him go fear him head next time.

Anonymous said...

Bonario,mybe d penis grabbing wives are din that outa love and assertiveness rather than abuse?lol!reminds me of one yoruba movie i watched in which d husband confessed t having extra-marital affairs n d wife in d midst of d uproar that ensued,kept pointing to his HQ n saying it belngs to her and her alone.Dnt worry,i will soon start an NGO for such men suffering frm DV so watch d air-space n then the neighbours can rest.

Anonymous said...

i assault my wife with my prick

Anonymous said...

why do naija men crave a woman's submissivenesS? i mean seriously? to me that there is a sign of an egomaniac...a man who doesn't see you as an equal will batter you like masters batter their servants. its that simple...the warning signs are always there but women in the quest to settle down will always ignore it and cry wolf later

franni said...

A battered wife sort treatment @ a clinic run by a female Dr (Dr with the Police). The Dr told the woman that being beat up by hubby is normal and she (the Dr) is also beat by her own hubby. And that being beaten from time-time puts the wife in check. That it's right and normal. Adviced her †o go back to her hubby and be good. She even tore up the medical history sheet.
Imagine that.

Anonymous said...

..the epistle ..*snores*..according ttto...*falls asleep*

Anonymous said...

Truth teller,u just spoke my mind.God bless you.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmn. What re u insuniating with these ur talk nau?

Anonymous said...

Comminications?? O ga o!

Anonymous said...

@ mistre tee,no matter how jezebellized ur wife is,never touch a woman.learn that now

Anonymous said...

but that pastor that was talking was off-point oo. we are talking of domestic violence, what's with the generalization. Anyhow, it's funny how people swear they will never take certain things and when it hits them, it just hits them. May God protect us.

Anonymous said...

I honestly don't know why a responsible corporate organization like MTN has not dropped Frank Edoho the second this rubbish came out. What does that say of them?

Anonymous said...

You have spoken well. God bless u.

Unknown said...

All those pretentious gentlemen, beating a woman to make themselves feel superior. I pity d man who will dare lay a finger on me, i'll simply unleash my five elder brothers on him. But God will be the champion of the championless.. Amen

omoibo said...

Domestic violence is a cycle! Whenever you meet a male or female that's abusive there's a very high probability that they grew in an abusive home and have consciously or subconsciously continued the cycle of abuse. In a society like naija, women stay in abusive relationship for several reasons, but the number reason is the stigma attached to a single mother! There's also the case of economics where the women are unable to take care of themselves & the kids because in most cases the women end up keeping the kids. The first step to breaking the abuse cycle I think is in educating the society as a whole that abuse is wrong & that if you do abuse your mate you shall be held accountable by the laws of the land. There also needs to be a support system put in place for victims of abuse, which is the abused & the abuser because they both need help.

Anonymous said...

Bonario, what kind of uninformed statement is that? Are you saying that you don't know anybody that is or has been abused?

Anonymous said...

but sometimes ladies are too sturborn, dey need beating atimes, just imagin my wife saying she needs to attend her girlfriends party when there is no food at home

Jungle Justice. said...

Domestic violence should never be condoned! D worst part is wen pple start attributing it to "manipulation". It begs d questions: 1.How can a person tell d difference btw manipulation n bad character? 2. How come the majority of "manipulatees" are men?(Pls am not sexist, it's only wot I have observed). D 1st step to recovery is d abuser admitting he/she has a problem n takes responsibility 4 their actions. I knw pple can be manipulated but not in all cases. Pls men or women facing abuse shld speak out! Their voices may just save a life or 2.

Mistr Tee said...

@Anonymous 8:38 PM never lay a hand on a woman??If you are a woman then i have nothing to say to you but if you are a man then wait till when you get married & your woman pours water on you on your way to work because you refuse her the money she demanded to buy jewelries & you get sacked from your place of work for subsequent arrival to the office late & you get home to tell her "oh i just lost my job" and she pounces on you for not giving her the money she requested for.I bet you'll walk away right??HYPOCRITES!!As a social worker that i am have handled cases worst than this, where a man having no history of violence but got messed up badly by the sorry "devil" likes of such women loses his temper & beats her up to coma..So my advise to every young man pray for God's guidance before getting married,the same goes to some nicely well behaved women too.

Anonymous said...

Err, so mr tee wats ur point. U sound like one of these cowards.

Anonymous said...

My usually quite nd loving hubby slapped me wen i was 7 mths pregnant. i didnt waste time to report him to he's parents nd snr siblings cos those r d pple he really respects.forget bout dying in silence, thats not for me. i made sure i shamed him, i also showed him a knife that if he touches me again, he would wake up in he's own blood,castrated nd then i made sure he saw me put d knife under my pillow for a week.
it was d biggest nd sharpest knife in my kitchen.

Anonymous said...

some women kan be monsters too. For real i know one...

Anonymous said...

So if u cook for once in ur life ur name will change frm anonymous to synonymous abi? Oya carry big padlock and lock d door and start pounding her inside....

me said...

Shut up your mouth you fool. Is your wife a cook or did you marry her because of food. Why can't you cook oh i forgot you can't cook or you won't cook because you are man but you can eat of course yeye

Anonymous said...

As horrible as it may sound, dis is so real dat some of our culture accepts it, even a particular religion belives dat a woman sud b beaten by her husband 4 correction, its obvious a lot of people r sufferin n smilin in der marriages, may God help us all bcos d irony of it is dat we single girls can't wait to get married. ANGELIC

Anonymous said...

I AM VERY HAPPY WOMEN ARE NOW SPEAKING ABOUT THIS.THIS AND MANY OTHER ISSUES HAVE NOT BEEN TALKED ABOUT.. ABOUT 80% OF WOMEN IN NIGERIA NOW ACCEPT INFIDELITY, I EVEN HAVE FRIENDS THAT WILL SAY THAT THEY KNOW THIER HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND WILL CHEAT BUT THEY SHOULD JUST NOT LET THEM KNOW ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF TAKING A STAND AGAINST IT AND YES,OUR CULTURE MAKES THE WOMAN SEEM LIKE A SLAVE IN SUCH A WAY THAT WHATEVER THE MAN SAYS CANOT BE QUESTIONED. GROWING UP AND SEEING ALL THIS EVEN IN MY OWN FAMILY, LEAVES ME BELIEVING THAT THERE ARE NO GOOD MEN IN NIGERIA.. AND AM LOOKING ELSE WHERE. I DEF. DO NOT WANT A CONTROLLING CHEATING FOOL..

Anonymous said...

women are always in denial....when you meet a guy who has been divorced, ask why. find the ex wife's friends and family and hear he truth. you owe it to yourself to seek the truth

Anonymous said...

I am just wondering what good message a grievious ex wife can pass against an aggrieved former husband...everyone is just so quick to condemn these men without hearing from them....someof these crying women u see are devils behind closed doors. I once dated a supposedly quiet lady who slapped me in presence of my friends. I returned that slap back and the neighbourhood gathered. Some of these violence originate from the women themselves. I say if u don't want violence, don't give violence verbal or physical. Kpakam

uck said...

So on point Mistr Tee.It surprises me how women seem to believe they are created to be abusive,insultive,disrespectful,etc and then go ahead to say as a man,never touch a woman.by the way,i'm a man and have never touched a woman and never will. However,there is what is called provocation and it is not gender based. I advocate for law that wuld deal with men who hit their wives or women. How abt a law to manage the excessiveness and deliberate provocative acts from women too?
God help us all!

Anonymous said...

MR Tee...you are really so dumb. Don't try to justify beating your wife by worst case scenario that probably never happens. Some Men are just wicked. My aunt husband kept on abusing my aunt...kept beating her just because she didn't give birth to a boy. Each time she packs her loads to go,he will cry and beg for her to come back only for the vicious circle to repeat itself. Now she is partially blind because of the Mans beating. I don't blame these Men. They probably thougt it was a good thing when they saw their father beating their Mother. Imagine if its someone of the same strenght or stronger strenght that provokes you in that mannaer,will you beat him or even her. I know one huge woman in my compound married to one little man,one day the little husband wanted to flex muscle by trying to beat her....If you see how she beat up that Man,Since then the Lil Man has been very Loyal and Respectful. Don't mind some Men..they know who they try that SHIT on.

BONARIO NNAGS said...

On d contrary Ma/sir.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

Anonymous said...

I hope I neve come across a social worker like you bc pple like you gives bad name to d profession. U shud be ashamed of ur words. Violence is viloence n can't neve be justified. A real man walks away and if the wife is abusive then he should leave the marriage too. As a social worker dats exactly wat I expect to hear from you not jusifying grounds for abuse. Grow up lil gal/boy bc it mite ur son/daughter dat wil be d next victim. Two wrongs don't make a right

Anonymous said...

There is no justification WHATSOEVER for a man to hit a woman or for a woman to hit a man. NONE. A man who beats a woman is a coward.

Natalie said...

zaaki said his wife wants to trap him bcos hiz a celebrity????? loooooool. dint he already "marry" her? wonders shall never seize to happen.

Anonymous said...

men should learn to control their anger and women should control their utterances but for whatsoever reason, a reasonable man should not raise his hands against his wife.............watch out for my blog (strictly on gender abuse) and for advice on this same topic, u can reach me on funbi.bamidele@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Zinnia:
Spousal abuse is not normal; it is ABNORMAL. Well, for me sha oh it is. I didn't grow up in such an environment so I reject such belief.

Q said...

Bastard oshi,there was stew in the fridge but you are too dumb to boil rice or make eba abi??anuofia!!

Mistr Tee said...

Seriously i won't stoop so low to any of your insults.Worst case scenario,have handled cases where a Man was hospitalized for food poisoning by his wife just to elope with a lover leaving her 6months child with their housemaid.For those reigning insults it shows your level of immaturity & dispositions.Am far head in life to be justifying reasons why a woman is harmless & shouldn't be touched,you can't manage your temper for too long it takes God not guts.The only thing in this video that am against is Zaaki if he really did hit his wife while pregnant with his child shows that he will turn out to be a reckless & foolish father to the child.So my advise for young people please put God first.PEACE

Anonymous said...

U too make sense

The sage said...

Ur thought process is really morphed. If God made u a man,u'll most definitely beat up ur woman.

Read what u put up there again! While ur up for no violence against women, u brought up a role reversed and suddenly violence is ok!

So u feel its right for superior woman to beat her husband abi?

My take on all this and it goes for both men and women; if u don't want violence don't give it, both verbal and physical. Follow the rules and stop the victim mentality, u'll have a peaceful marriage.

Also, an advise my dad told me: make sure u marry the girl u love! When she gets cranky, remember the reasons why u loved her and it'll help u pull through the situation.

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