I would like to share my marriage Issue with you and need counsel. I’ve lost trust for women. I married my wife about 10 months ago. Before we got married I was made to believe she was in love with me and I was madly in love with her. We dated for 9 months then decided to get married. After we got married she had to relocate due to job posting. We didn’t get to live together for long after our marriage. We faced constant issues borne out of misunderstanding and the fact that we haven’t lived together for too long to fully understand each other.It got frustrating cos the issues was more like every day. Sometimes ago she confessed that she doesn’t love me as much as I do and she is even yet to love me. It broke my heart to find that out, she also mentioned she married me for a different reason and was hoping to start loving me after we got married.
She promised to make things work, begin to love and we relate better. Few days ago, we had a discussion about spouses cheating and all, she said her view and said she almost cheated but didn’t. The story didn’t add up to me and I went digging and contacted a close colleague of her who told me she was cheating full blown. I contacted her with my finding, she was shocked how I got the details and she confessed it all.
She is barely 2 months at her new location and has been cheating with this guy she met for over 6 weeks. She sometimes spends the night at his house and all. She begged me to forgive her and she said it wasn’t about the sex for her but the company she got based on her been frustrated with our issues and her trying to get things off her head.
I told her before then that there is no marriage without their issues but couples will constantly resolve it till things get better. I love her so much and decide to forgive her but it has been a hard thing to forget cos my heart was pierced being betrayed by someone I truly love with all of me. I know most men see it as a taboo for a woman to cheat.
Men cheat and expect their wives to forgive them, I believe a woman can be forgiven for her sins too. God forgives us all irrespective of the sin we commit. I really don’t know what to do cos the thought of it keeps annoying me but I love her so much and have decided to forgive her. She feels remorseful for her actions and promised it will never happen.
Does anyone have any helpful counsel on how to totally forget this or it won’t be advisable to forgive/accept her back or give a second chance.
256 comments:
1 – 200 of 256 Newer› Newest»Such is life bro. Lindaobserv
WHEN YOUR WIFE CHEATS, YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO WRITE A MAIL TO A BLOGGER, JUST GO AHEAD AND DIVORCE HER IDIOT....
Dis is hard...u need to pray
Forget about your wife......go and marry Linda Ikeji..shd is a good woman and will never cheat on you
If u still want her back, then u can forgive her base on what she said that she won't do that again.
I would love to hear what the women have to say about this. For once the complaint is not a man cheating.
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
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If i was yu i for don caastlong tym ago... Yu gud shah guy....
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Never commented before. God bless you Sir. There are good men out there. Turn to God for healing and restoration of your Marraige. I have been broken before and only Jesus heals. Woke up one day and could not feel the pain any longer. God bless you.
Chairman..... its not possible to totally forget it. if you really want to forgive her then you have to learn to live with it.
You are a confused fellow
Its quite a precarious situation, I must confess only few men will get to forgive their wives just as you did.
She needs to show she's sincerely sorry, by desisting from such act, get to talk to her often, let there be no gap in your relationship.
Your marriage lacks romance and intimacy, get her to love and enjoy this union.
If she loves you she will prove it, it won't be easy but its obvious you have a good understanding of marriage and wants your own to work. May God help you.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA
this is so painful
Linda you too confess...
Niggga u don't need any counsel, wot u need is divorce, when did men start being this stupid......a wife u married for just 9months and she's already cheating........it took her just 6weeks to start fcuking another man....and u are still asking question, its either u are being charmed or u are dumb or u got no brain.......WTF is wrong with u, wot does it take to divorcre that u are finding it hard to do.........that woman is never for u, she will keep cheating and there is nothing u can do abt it........why did u guys have to even leave alert just immediately after marriage, some decisions are just very wrong..........in marriage there are certain sacrifices to make, one of u shld have forgone work and move in together..........wot u shld be asking is how shld i go abt the divorce
Dump that harlot. You should be happy she never born for u
She's got you wrapped around her finger. How can she change when you're still long distance and the guy is around the corner from her bed. I'm all for couples working through their issues. But you've barely gotten started and her response was to turn to another man. You should cut your losses and move on before this lady gets herself pregnant by her bf and completely ruins your life.
Niggga u don't need any counsel, wot u need is divorce, when did men start being this stupid......a wife u married for just 9months and she's already cheating........it took her just 6weeks to start fcuking another man....and u are still asking question, its either u are being charmed or u are dumb or u got no brain.......WTF is wrong with u, wot does it take to divorcre that u are finding it hard to do.........that woman is never for u, she will keep cheating and there is nothing u can do abt it........why did u guys have to even leave alert just immediately after marriage, some decisions are just very wrong..........in marriage there are certain sacrifices to make, one of u shld have forgone work and move in together..........wot u shld be asking is how shld i go abt the divorce
You have the right mindset about your wife's infidelity and I want to thank you for be being selfless (with the help of God of course) about the situation. These kind of issues do come up and it is important that one learns from the experience to help guide you actions for the future. My husband always maintains that Long-distance relationship/marriage helps no one in the family. Yes, we know the present economic and financial situation of the country does not help matters but a happy and loving family is better than all the wealth in the world. Get closer not only emotionally but physically to your wife. May God heal your marriage.
Your wife is emulating Linda...
you made up ur mind already why seeking for help again?
You already forgave her! All you wanted from us is someone to tell you yes you did the right thing! Man follow your heart different strokes for different folks but watch it cos d more issues u have d more she is gonna fuck to get dem off her head so stop having issues with her god guide you
Team Linda, Team Eggplant
Since you said God forgives us, while we sin, then you may have to consort your scriptures to really confirm what his Word say's about cheating in marriages and plus the appropriate sanctions
its very easy to forgive but very hard to forget, all you need is to ask for God's grace to be able to forget..
Marriage is not by force, if its not working for you take a walk and stop disturbing us with your cheating problem
Can only imagine how painful her action can be. Since divorce isn't on the picture, U have to forgive completely, though not easy. Ur next step should be what action to take so such won't happen again. Ur first mistake, very wrong for newly marriage to stay apart. Am sure if u were close the chance of such happen is very slim. Both of u have to make sacrifice to stay together. Apply for work transfer or take pay cut either way, the money u both are working for won't blot the damage distance is causing. Lastly, help ur wife improve her spirituality so her conscience can guide her to make better decisions in tough situations.
My guy, you get patience no be small
Radarada. You think marriages are perfect ehn? I just finished sleeping with a responsible expatriate with a wife, an ex wife and kids. He even gave me money sef. And I'm a dude sef. So. Callivally!
Beg her to Comport herself. Do a medical check before diving in unprotected. Lucky if she get belle. Otherwise use a condom with your spouse henceforth. *in Mama Peace's voice* Nigerian womens!!!!! Youse ya condom! Any Nigerian womens who don't use a condoms is called what????? A widows! Any Nigerian men's who do not use a condoms is called????? A widows! That's all my fellow widows!
**mynameisSkelewu
You can forgive her but how are you sure she won't cheat again?
My guy. Love is not blind oh. She will eventually do it again. Just hope u know wat ur doing n try prying to God it helps.
Forgive her & give her a second chance but find a way to always communicate with her regularly. Even plan a visit to her new location, it will spice up things abit
U guys need to live n work together in the same state. chikena.... I hope it's not in her blood to cheat cos its barely 2 months n she's sleeping around. wot if u guys spent a year apart? So disheartening
you can forgive her if u truly decided to forgive but such things is not easy to forget it takes only the grace of God
forgive her, show her love. although i can assure you that it will happen again and when it does,leave her.
Your story is a sad one, I know your trust for her as a wife has been tempered with but if you really love her as you claim, then forgive and forget what she has done and move on with your marriage.
Note: she has to relocate to where you are to avoid such re-occurance.
You are a moron to start with, what other advise do u need when u have done the right thing, that is, forgive and move on?
I'm not in the best position to advice you right now because I feel like contacting your wife to hook me up with her boyfriend's friends. I'm a married but lonely woman. And we got married because we loved ourselves but today, its a different story. Anyway, take heart and forgive your wife. go ahead and give her every reason not to go back on her promise of not cheating again and dont just sit there and be imagining things in your head.
It's not about forgiveness. You've married the WORST kind of woman. The heartless one. She will continue to cheat on you, you never start.
You forgiving her is a sign of weakness. That's exactly y she doesn't love u. Women tend to love very firm men. Make her regret ever cheating on u.
The easiest way to forgive your wife is when you are certain that she has truly repented and not cheating on you anymore! So still go ahead and plant more spies and investigate more about her! Also make effort to live together with your wife!
SELL IT!!!
Kai ur wife no try at all, but since u love her a lot forgive her and insist she wrks her posting back home or leave that job. Although wen d trust is broken there's nothing left, all d best bros
Kai ur wife no try at all, but since u love her a lot forgive her and insist she wrks her posting back home or leave that job. Although wen d trust is broken there's nothing left, all d best bros
Leave her and com take my Gf. Am tired of her as well. Engr Emy
D best resolve will be 4 both of u 2 be back living 2geda,cos d more u guys stay apart dd more d issues
Y not relocate with her. Or mk her resign frm d work and face her marriage. Which mins she married u for her sttatus to change. My dear even if u 4gv her the thought wil forever ring in ur mind so I thnk u shld relocate wt her or make her quit d job to concentrate on d marriage. Ur wife has a very high libido and cnt stay wtout sex for a week so do what I say. Bye
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Well my brother this is very difficult. But you see,the best is to seek God's view on the matter.God does not like divorce.But keep encouraging her and do not allow work related issues to separate you from your wife.Keep managing and God will be with you
I am really sorry about your ordeal , but I must tell you that a cheating husband is better than a cheating wife, she dosent have any regards for the vow she made to God and you by cheating, my advice is that you return her to her parents and ask for the refund of the bride price you payed a cheating wife is a taboo
forgive her if she wil not go bak to it
it is in your best interest to divorce your wife. The scripture permits divorce on grounds of adultery. The truth is if she had no love for you before she married you then trying to get her love you now is like flogging a dead horse. I know ur mind is all filled with emotions and stuff but in the interest of your health,your mind and your blood pressure. Please divorce her. Spend some time separate from each other to allow you time to get over all your emotions running wild. Based on what you have said i doubt your wife is going to change. Women who cheat are very dangerous and can send you to an early grave. I speak from experience.
Give her a second chance. At least she confessed to you. You guys Need to see a counselor and pray.
She married u cos she know you are soft hearted and u will forgive whatever nonsense she does, let me advice u, stand ur ground and be firm tell her if she ever try such again dt will be d end of ur marriage cos if u dnt she ll cheat over n over again..u can't forget such thing so easy, if she change then u might forget it..wise up man, woman likes men dt are dumb..am a lady mysef..
She married u cos she know you are soft hearted and u will forgive whatever nonsense she does, let me advice u, stand ur ground and be firm tell her if she ever try such again dt will be d end of ur marriage cos if u dnt she ll cheat over n over again..u can't forget such thing so easy, if she change then u might forget it..wise up man, woman likes men dt are dumb..am a lady mysef..
This is a sad event for anyone to go through irrespective of their sex. I don't think you can forget this event but like you have rightly done was to forgive, all you needd do now it to think about how much you love her whenever the thought of it comes to mind. Let the love for her suppress the anger you feel...
U did very well by given her a second chance...i advise geting more close to God will do a whole lot to ur problem...read ur bible everyday and ask GOD to give u the spirit to let go.it will happen like a magic.
Constant issues in marriage can make a person drift from the marital vows and it can make one go to d extent of cheating. I cheated on my husband ones and it was simply because he constantly accuses me of cheating. I did not do it to hurt him but because this other guy was more understanding. I found peace being with him. It's not really the sex that makes a woman cheat but the companionship.I regret my actions now but the truth is that I can never own up to it. It's me a secret I must die with.
you truly want my advise..?...."Kill her or divorce her, cos she will do it again"..dnt take me serious bro...#Laughing
9 months courtship too short for me,dunno about some else znd for her to tell you she didnt love you before the marriage it's a big deal bro
my brother run ooooo,dat woman na evil spirit!
This is not a platform to seek marital advice cos u may not like the response. However, to put it mildly, I don't see your marriage surviving this turbulence for too long. Your union is too young to survive the distance (as a result of her job location) u can work it out but when cheating comes into play, there's little or nothing you can do...best wishes.
Marriage is a union of two forgivers.
Mtchewww...forgive her of cos....imagine if it was you..won't you beg her to forgive you???
You are an adult man.... Do what you feel is right for you.
IF SHE IS REALLY SORRY, SHE WILL LEAVE THAT JOB AND RELOCATE BACK TO WHERE YOU ARE TO WORK ON THE MARRIAGE. FORGIVE HER...BUT SHE MUST MOVE BACK TO WHERE YOU ARE SO TWO OF YOU CAN WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE TOGETHER.
you have no choice but to forgive.....she has said she is sorry so take her for her word....I have been married 10 years and my husband has cheated on me severally...I keep forgiving him but I have told him the next time I hear again I will start cheating....am not afraid of anyone but God and I mean it this time....I cannot continue to forgive and bring fidelity to the table while you sleep around like a dog...you have to forgive her cos truth be told if it was you who cheated the whole world will tell her to forgive you.....its not easy to remain faithful moreso she said she did not love you...please give her another chance and don't listen to people who might call you a fool....men cheat women a lot and we forgive
K good nutting is new under dis sun. Its ok for a man to take another woman lemme not call it cheat and if its okay for a woman to now cheat good let her sleep wit all the men and see if any wld marry her so u see the difference. Plz my guy trow dat love away and free that marriage this is just the tip of the ice of what you wld b getting.
I envy ur courage man! My advise for you is not to listen to advise from no one and manage ur crisis within ur home.. you are the one who is going through it all and third party won't see your reason. If you love her forgive her and move on
Bro trust me , that thought will never leave. Even if it's going to leave it's so far from now it might take years but since you love her, just try and make things right and never give her the impression that it's off your mind. Don't bring it up as an issue but make her understand that u still feel hurt. A betrayed trust is hard to build.
U av already made the mistake of marrying without first consulting God. because u fell in love with her u think it isn't necessary to pray and tell the Almighty before venturing into marriage. well am not here to criticize or Judge u.
The best thing to do is to keep on praying, be patient time will tell
I want to believe it is the distance that is encouraging her to cheat even though a cheat will always be a cheat but if the distance isn't there it will be curtailed.
Reconsider your values again, is the job more important than your marriage. Maybe she shld get another job closer home so that you guys can live together because the marriage is still too young for this kind of temptations and challenges, it may not weather the storm.
On the other hand if her job pays better than yours, you might want to relocate to where she is currently.
Of course everything in life cant be 100% but we have to find a way to balance it.
Best of luck
you are a good man. since u really love her u will eventually forgive and forget. but if she continuous my advice is that u end d marriage. it is unacceptable. she will bring shame to your beign. meanwhile she should quit that job and move in with you. both of u should manage your income until she gets a better job. your marriage is too young for the separation.
The KOKO is that she doesn't love you, what else do you want to hear from us? Don't you deserve a woman that loves you? Why stay with a woman who you know doesn't love you? I don't get it. We all make mistakes yes, but why stay with a woman or man that doesn't love you? She will never stop cheating, take it from me.
Since u love r so much, find a place in ur heart 2 forgive r n forget every tin. U men do cheat too n women wl 4gv u out of love, pls do d same n let peace n love come bk 2 ur home
Since u love r so much, find a place in ur heart 2 forgive r n forget every tin. U men do cheat too n women wl 4gv u out of love, pls do d same n let peace n love come bk 2 ur home
I think you should forgive her because nobody is perfect or goes without a mistake. It's also not healthy for you two to be living apart because your marriage is still much very new and tender.you can forget it (although it very difficult)
by showing her love,take a trip together to rekindle the spark in your marriage. Ask her to try and get a transfer for back to where you were leaving together before or you can transfer and meet her.Either ways if possible and goodluck with your final decision.
It's not easy...forgiving is one thing and forgetting is another!..time heals..just let it go. I only pray shez truly n really sober.
Bro sorry man,u have to take heart,na stupid girl she be,forgive her and still keep watching her,cuz woman they lie too much
When it comes to women cheating even God said forgive only if u can forget...becoz if u forgive and Dont forget it may lead to other faults in the future but if u really want to forgive u have to pray very hard..and then ur wife needs to get another job where she can be close to her home or ask her company to transfer her back to ur base if she really want to build a home with u
Please forgive her,but talk things out with her to find out why she cheated. Also giver her so much love that she will think less of the other man okay. Wishing u a love hangover.
9 months courtship too short for me,dunno about some else and for her to tell you she didnt love you before the marriage it's a big deal bro
U cannot totally forget as this is worse than a horror film lol, As wrong as this might sound, the only known remedy is, find a babe and knack it, u will feel a lot better. no jokes
If naa men,women will forgive one hand without even thinking about it but men lai lai,they will keep on imagining. That aproko wey put her mouth, her mouth will soon wither with ashiri. Nwoke forget it simple!
For me i detest when woman cheat with passionation most especially married ones, well showing remorse to me does nt mean that she has put a stop to dat unhealthy relationship. Watch her closely bro, ur life is in danger if she continues. For me no second chance for her at all.
Brother is not easy,but it all left for u to decide,coz once a cheat'l not likely stop
Let me tell you now....Your marriage is to new for this sort of rubbish to be happening.
I am a woman, i have been forgiven by my fiance several times and i still cheat. I cheat because i have no value for the relationship and i cant help it.
And guess what he cheats on me too....
Run away from the relationship because you will remain miserable if you stay in it.
You two will continue to cheat on each other except you are both ready to be OPEN with each other and put in a lot of work.
You may be strong enough to forgive, but are you strong enough to forget???
If you are, then stay and pretend like it never happened...show her love, don't blame her for what happened, and maybe, that is what it will take for her to start loving you :)
Its possible.
Oops oh my :)
Young man you have entered one chance!!!
Quit before she kills you
You're right, forgiving her is a great idea although its not easy to be honest because you guys still kinda live apart. What your wife did was brave, i mean for her to tell you that how she really felt about her feelings and all. You need to ask yourself,
Are you willing to forgive and let go of those terrible past mistakes of hers?
Are you willing to do what it takes to keep your relationship alive?
Are you willing to sacrifice some of the things keeping you apart just so you could live and be as a couple?
Are you willing to trust her again(not doubting nor remembering any of her cheating episode)?
You need to ask her this questions,
Is she ready to give all of her so that your marriage can work?
Is she promising you that history won't repeat itself?
Is she ready to forgive herself and try to love you for you?
Is she willing to pay the price just so you guys can be happy together?
The truth is there are tons of questions to be answered among you guys, the answers to those questions will help you guys make the real decision, i wish you all the best & pray that the grace and strenght to forgive & embrace your wife fall on you.
guy be wise and divorce that chick ASAP. i'm newly married and losing trust in your wife this early is very bat, that sh*t will eat u up. she admits she doesnt love u so my guy she will do it again. leave b4 u become a shadow of urself. a word is enuf for the wise
guy be wise and divorce that chick ASAP. i'm newly married and losing trust in your wife this early is very bat, that sh*t will eat u up. she admits she doesnt love u so my guy she will do it again. leave b4 u become a shadow of urself. a word is enuf for the wise
U av said it all.... Ntin more.... U av forgiven hr go ahead and forget it.... Start afresh! Hopefully it wil. Wrk for u!
Never make a hoe a house wife. I will advocate for forgiveness and try to make your marriage work. But I must say that the foundation of the marriage which is trust has already been compromised. I will advice you forgive her but if she does it again, please divorce her. From my experience, some time down the line, she will do it again. Divorce is not bad or a sin.
Sad story, but it's better to give her second chance,
Dis LIB super story is quite interesting, and I hope Linda we do well to post my comment or else I wil hav to re-send it to other posts if d need b...
First, and foremost I acknowledge d fact of him opening up to his marital affairs but its best ideal not to blow ur marital affairs to d public domain bcos every marriages has their different challenges. So urs is not d first, and wil not b d last.
In fact he said it all wit dis words "Men cheat and expect their wives to forgive them, I believe a woman can be forgiven for her sins too. God forgives us all irrespective of the sin we commit". Dis means he has already know d in, and out to his problems.
Its pointless to start giving advise when he said "I really don’t know what to do cos the thought of it keeps annoying me but I love her so much and have decided to forgive her". Since u luv her so much, and hav decided to forgive her then go ahead wit ur marriage, and God wil see u guys through.
Dis goes to all married couple, though according 2d bible only on d grounds of adultery dat a man or woman can divorce his or her spouse but let me emphatically state dat when u forgive ur spouse for his or her faults committed mostly adultery God will keep dat for u, and make sure dat by dis measure he wil enrich, and bless ur life, and everytin dat concerns u. My brothers/sisters, there is power in true forgiveness.
If am in his shoes, and my gf commits dis I wil broke up wit her bcos broken r/ship is better than broken marriage but if its my wife I wil never broke up d marriage. I wil truly forgive her, and move on afterall marriage is all abt "for good, and worse till death do us part".
Pls take note of dis "D devil u know is far better than d angel u don't know". So many men or women has fell into d danger of leaving their spouse bcos of their faults, and end up wit someone dat is far worse than d one they were wit b4.
So b wise wit ur decision, and never mak any decision wit a heart dat is hurt. A word is enough 4d wise. Those who hav ears let them hear.
Run like the wind...........................10months in and already she's cheating?
there is no excuse for cheating male or female..........condoning it only adds more firewood to the fire...........................
Your trust has been broken and you still being apart cannot allow it to heal..........
the only reason allowed for divorce is adultery and dats what happened..............you can forgive her but you deserve the best and someone who isnt sure how much she loves you is not the best................
GOD sent his best (his son) to die for you cos he knows you always deserve the best..............never ever settle for less..............let her also go and find her own...
will hurt like hell at first but GOD will see you thru.................
except if u want to continue having doubts and feel the way you feel for a long time or forever ...............den forgive and give her another chance...............
Dar woman dae soak garri on top ur head big time..
Disgusting sha...God be with you man
You are on you own. You have enter 0-Chance. Wife wey you just marry dey cheat and you are making excuses for her already. I don't see any real man in you. I see a scared coward who doesn't know who he is... It's your cross bro, carry it as e easy for you... Yeye dey stink!
Take a nap
If you you didn't find out believe me she will still be cheating on you. And I want you to know that your wife will never stop cheating on you till she dies. Once a cheat is always a cheat. You married ashawo my brother. Your life is even at stake. Hiv is real
Guy, Since your heart is still with her you better let go of the past as if it didnt happen. to finally stop thinking of her deed either of you may have to relocate so that both of you would have to live together in one apartment -
sefini & goodluck
I don't usually give advice on this blog, but on this situation I think I have the perfect advice. Mr. Whoever you are. Know one thing. You can't forget it, you can only learn to live with it and keep loving your wife as long as she doesn't cheat again. But if I were in your position, I'll send her packing. I don't care what anyone says I guess she loves you because of the money and I guess she is a pretty woman that's why you are head over hills for her, but the truth is, my friend there's someone out there I would love you as much as you love her. Let her go she doesn't love you she doesn't. In this modern age live don't grow in marriage or relationship because wife's cheat unlike the days of our father when their Gods help to keep women in check but nowadays no fear of being stricken down by the gods for cheating so if your wife cheats let her go or learn to live with the situation another truth is a woman that does not fancy you does not. Sorry man.
My dear,in as much as u I won't advice u divorce her,what are d chances,she won't b seeing dt guy?,work her transfer to whr u r,forgive her n move,bt Note,u can never forget it,cos,it's easier for a man to cheat,is in their nature,bt for a lady,is terrible.......if u love her n if she can love u d same then just try putting it behind u n move on..
Just forgive her,,,,God will help you
My dear U r a very Big fool, what king of marriage is that wen she has said it to ur face she not like U. And have take a walk to show U she dnt, maybe till when u die u will Go and marry in heaven. What kind of chance are u given to a woman who livs far from U. U better be wise. UGO-GOLD.
My dear U r a very Big fool, what king of marriage is that wen she has said it to ur face she not like U. And have take a walk to show U she dnt, maybe till when u die u will Go and marry in heaven. What kind of chance are u given to a woman who livs far from U. U better be wise. UGO-GOLD.
Pls 4give her, since u said she appologized n she is remorseful.....pls do 4give her
U hv made up ur mind to forgive her so deal wit it
Guy, you'll never forget. Every time she's out of your sight you'll "wander". It's really big of you to forgive her (cos most men, especially African, will not... And cannot), but the truth is there'll always be that little part of you that'll question her every move... Cost of "knowing". Good luck
You should be hanged on an oak tree dude. You only forgive those who look set to change. Your wife CAN NEVER CHANGE. Ditch her, divorce straight.
Hi. you are certainly a good man, and good men are hard to find these days. your wife doesnt know what she has and wouldnt value it until she looses you. but all i would advice is that you have done the right thing by forgiving her, its not easy to forget so fast, just take it one day after another. marriage entails alot of patience although you have every right to devorce her for defiling your sacred union, but, since you love her this much, give her one more chance to change. i would never advice devorce cos i am not a party to it, but pray about your marriage and for ur wife, and if she is your God ordained partner, she would change, if not God would direct u. may God be ur strenght.
forgive the hoe
Your last statements clearly shows why she is cheating on you. Get you balls together and act right. She is not in love with u.
Its good for you. Thats what you men deserve. Because when you meet a girl who loves you and is loyal, you take her for granted and treat her like shit. Enjoy your life as a deputy husband.
Hi. you are certainly a good man, and good men are hard to find these days. your wife doesnt know what she has and wouldnt value it until she looses you. but all i would advice is that you have done the right thing by forgiving her, its not easy to forget so fast, just take it one day after another. marriage entails alot of patience although you have every right to devorce her for defiling your sacred union, but, since you love her this much, give her one more chance to change. i would never advice devorce cos i am not a party to it, but pray about your marriage and for ur wife, and if she is your God ordained partner, she would change, if not God would direct u. may God be ur strenght.
Dis is wat happens wen u didnt just marry 4 d wrong rizons dats d woman but married d wrong person dats 4 u both. Dunno wat to say. If u marry wahala if u no marry wahala
U re a joker! It wud keep happening oncee a cheat aalways a cheat
relocate her to ur current residence,then open a good business for her or she will probably go back to her former behavior.
relocate her to ur current residence,then open a good business for her or she will probably go back to her former behavior.
Young man u are a fool! She doesn't love u, now she has cheated on u, what do u want? Divorce her someone else idiot!...wait o abi her family hold money?
First i commend yu for forgiving her. Most men who r serial cheaters cant stand their wives doing the same. Their foolish double standard. Second, i will say as a married woman. The mistake yu made was not knowin eachothr well enough before tying the knot. I know this well cos i made the same mistake wit my husband and the first 2 yrs of our marriagr was hell. Constant fighting and divorce talks even wit my pregnancy but wit Gods help we pulled thru and r goin on 3 yrs now. Wat i wil say is the distance basically severed ur relationship. So for yu to fully forgiv her and kno her true intentions wit yu, yu need to either move to her or let her move to yu. Whoeva makes less shud move to who makes more and try workin it out. She already said she doesnt love yu lik yu love her so if yu spend at least 1 yr togethrr and she stil comes to the same conclusion, then she is not meant for yu. Yu deserve someone who wil love yu and cherish yu and wont cheat regardless of distance. And by all means pls pray as well. God can turn the heart of kings whicheva wat he pleases. Tis well.
Forgive her cause if God can give us a second chance who are we not to
This is gonna haunt you for the rest of your married life, so deal with it!!!
Bros go find another woman, she will do it again forget those excuses she gave. I can't imagine another man romping my wife. The thought alone can make me kill.
You have a heart of Gold nd I'm sure the God u serve will reward u! Just trust him him wiv ur heart too! He'll heal u!
You are a real man.You have already solved your problem by giving her a second chance.I pray she completely change to be a loving wife to you.
I think you are a good man but only a fool forgives and forget.
U sound like a Goodman but u married the wrong woman.. Forgive her for cheating.. but it's obvious she doesn't love u... how long will u wait for her to start loving u?... Mr in as much as I won't advice divorce, but u r in a wrong relationship and u aren't happy... do what ur heart tells u...
This is a serious situation you've got right here... Sorry to say it but when a woman cheats, she would do it again if she still visits that guy. Marriage counseling may help. This is a reason I advocate for Dating for nothing less that 2yrs before marriage so that both parties can know a significant portion of the other person's intentions and behavioural characteristics and to find out if you can live with that person's flaws.......
Am still waiting for the ladies to come out defending your wife. If it was a guy that did this, they would all come out with pitchforks and fire to burn the guy
LIFE IS ALL ABOUT SECOND CHANCES,FORGIVE HER TRY N FORGET AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP ALSO PRAY N ASK GOD TO MAKE HER CONTENTED WITH YOU.
Give her a second chance if she really shows true remorse,then u both should go for councelling with a true man of God who has given two decade or more to marriage and most importantly talk to God almighty for he is a God that can change every situation. I wish u d best of luck
You both need to see a marriage therapist....
Forgive her please
if you have a heart to forgive,do and give her a second chance.unlike me.cos I will not forgive her neither will I give her a second chance
if u forgive and forget becox u love her u are doom cox she will do over and over
Mumu, u go die there. Must u marry her? She no luv u mumu, just let her go jor
Try and see a man of God for councel, they will tell u wat u want to hear here.
I read your story and I can only say I felt sorry for you. Not sorry so as to put you down emotionally but the fact that you have the heart to forgive and show her love as Christ would. People will come on here to give different opinions but don't let any override your joy and happiness. If your heart prompt you to forgive, kindly do so as she already said to thread the path of change. But on another ground if you discover her to still be sleeping around,for the sake of your health it still down to you to take a decision. Pray about it brother and do what your heart is at peace with.
OREO GRANDE
You lost ur wife brother....forgive her or not! U will never have. that woman back...u r foreigner and just a nice guy to her... ur marriage is over...so either choose to keep the partnership or go ur way!
Since she confessed she doesn't love you, In my opinion I think she's goin to do it again.
It's really nice hearing from good men like this who have real love for their women. Sir poster, even a marriage of 15 years will suffer if both parties aren't living together. You need to know that most women who cheat do so for emotional reasons. She's very wrong for doing so but she probably just feels emotionally detached from you. To make it worse you guys didn't even court for a suitable amount of time before flying into marriage. I suggest you forgive her, and find a way to live together. Somebody has to quit their job and relocate. If y'all keep living apart this will continue happening. Either that or just call it quits now before kids come into the picture. Good luck.
It's really nice hearing from good men like this who have real love for their women. Sir poster, even a marriage of 15 years will suffer if both parties aren't living together. You need to know that most women who cheat do so for emotional reasons. She's very wrong for doing so but she probably just feels emotionally detached from you. To make it worse you guys didn't even court for a suitable amount of time before flying into marriage. I suggest you forgive her, and find a way to live together. Somebody has to quit their job and relocate. If y'all keep living apart this will continue happening. Either that or just call it quits now before kids come into the picture. Good luck.
see broz make you no dey feel like Jesus Christ here oh. I'm sure you love being slapped and turning your cheeks but limits dey.
if she cheated just to relieve some stress then you're in for some real trouble.
just wait till she brings back pregnancy as your birthday gift, and the surprise party being that it isn't yours.
the reason why we have the double standards of cheating is because at least men don't bring back foreign babies disguised as yours.
well if she does give you the good news that she's pregnant, at least do a low-key DNA test to make sure it's yours.
Hi poster, u can't erase such from your memory. I has come to stay. U just have to try that's if u want your marriage to work. But its gonna be hard to forget.
Forgive her Since u said u still love her after all men do cheat on their wives and still their wives forgives them. I pray dat ur wife will stop cheating on u, all the same do forgive her and move on.
My brother, from experience I personally think it lies in the hands of the cheater. Because once you have been cheated on, you will never get satisfied with any truth until you feel you have exhausted every truth about what happened. So I believe the cheater has to face that consequence of always being ready to please the cheated by being 100% sincere and ready to answer any question at anytime of the day, especially in the middle of the night when the cheated is finding it hard to sleep. That is their punishment. But this may spell doom for the relationship because the cheater may become frustrated as is always and decide to let go, thinking that is the best. Sometimes it is.
Forgetting is not possible. The cheater has to make the cheated feel extremely special. The cheated has to feel loved by the cheater in a way the cheated feels the cheater has never felt for anyone before. I don't know anyway one can get over such, but I believe time is best healer. Godspeed.
Me feels u guys need to live together, it's too early in d marriage to live apart, nd pls forgve her nd quit thinkn abt it, God bless ur home
I think you're better off without her bro.. i saw so much infidelity in my family growing up from both parents..you're 'lucky' your marriage is only in it's infancy. I would sincerely advise you to get out now, rather than trying to force it. Plus, from what i gathered, you don't have kids yet, this is the best time to ex. she said she doesn't even love you YET, and married you for a different reason??lol...She must be a jester..don't joke with your life man. Just be grateful you caught her even after she lied and ensure you do the right thing. And the end of the day one can only advise, its your life..
On the other hand I'm just a ruthless kinda guy. so i know what i'd do straight up lool i can't tolerate infidelity because of my background, wouldn't even be able to straff the babe again..but you seem to love this babes quite a bit, you could give her only ONE more chance, if it ever happens again then.. you know the rocks now.
hgv
Guy....dont kill urself because of a woman.
I have always swore that my wife wont cheat on me. The day i found out she was fucking a guy that she forced on me as a family friend....
I was shocked!
I have never cheated my entire life. Never....but wifey cheated on me.
Chai....he pain me ehn. But i forgave her. A woman that i love with all my heart and now i dont love or trust her anymore.
Many women think it's only men that cheat. Women cheat a lot more. They just dont get caught easily.
As for me....i have resolved to one thing. I dont trust any woman. Not even my wife. Not anymore.
One more thing...while she was fucking another guy....she was making a big issue about the fact that i dont pray enough or go to church enough.
Women! I carry nyash for them
once a cheater, always a cheater.
thats all i have to say
I hope she resigned that YesYes job that is separating her from her marriage of less than a year.
You better forget about it ewu!... So is alright for men to cheat and be forgiven and not women... Mutcheeew
She may have said she will not do it again but if the situations and conditions that pushed her to cheat remain the same , she will do it again.
You need to pray hard and make the necessary adjustments to change everything that caused her or may cause her to cheat again.
It is well with you.
You are a good man and I admire u.time will heal ur wounds.if she is remorseful den 4giv her and let it go.God bless u for not allowing the devil destroy ur home.
God bless ur sweet heart bro, u did d best thing, my prayer is dat she doesn't repeat it again, it will be hard to forget though, but none of us is perfect.
JESUSlovesus.
Thought cheating was solely a male dominated "profession" like they advice ur female counterparts, don't divorce her, pray for her to change, don't add weight, don't wear boxers to sleep, always brush ur teeth before bed and so on and so forth.
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Hmmm..Too many cheating stories these days. I have the feeling this wife of yours will still cheat on you again and again and again... Someone who confessed to not loving her husband shortly after marriage is something to meditate on. Did you ever ask her the reason she had for marrying you since she confessed it wasnt love? One thing you need to bear in mind is that she might not change overnight just like that. For now, be on your toes, keep an eye on her but be very smart about it cos if she notices, she might want to change 'style'. If you want to forget, then constantly look at her good sides and push off the bad side. Whenever you feel the hurt arising, get engaged in things that will make you happy or fill your mind with images of your good days together. Remember we all make mistakes, might be your turn tomorrow even if not something similar. Keep loving her, Pray as well, God will wipe all the hurt in ur heart. God's grace!
Dis is serious but I will say u should forgive and forget it.. move on with her counsel her every time, ask her want she wanted, and always pray for her. But it's not too good as u both not together.
One tin is 4 sure a woman dat loves n respect her man ll never ever cheat on her man,i knw dis better cos am a woman! If she jst on u nw belly months of ur marriage sorry bro she is bt 4 u, no mata wht u deserve better
since u av forgiven her, try as much as to let dat thought go. accept her bk nd i hope she dnt repeat it again.
well, pray to God and do all you can to forgive her. Help her get a job in same state with you. do all you can to understand her. just as you deserve forgiveness so does she. God help us all.
for having forgiven her i respect you for that. forgiven her totally is the way to go and as long as she has promised to change then i dont see any reason to still hold unto what she has done. our love for our patners can be tested in different ways and i believe this is yours and u have passed well.... just call her and speak to her on what she wants and seek counsel if need be but above all she needs to come back home to solidify your marriage, its not all about the money allll the time. and lastly make God your 1st in your home and God will cleanse your home and make it anew. stay blessed.
When women cheat it's with emotions. Be warned.
Firstly are you born again? If yes then pray about it and lead your wife to christ,cos cheating is a spirit if don't give ur life to christ for Him to help you will still find yourself doing it again.
My brother, just has you have said God forgives us our sins so who are we not to do same, it is not unusual that you still have those thoughts because of course its someone you love that hurt you. My advice for you is to pray to God to help you forgive her totally but you need to work out on the root cause, you two did not have enough time to get to know each other well enough, now you got married and she is away you two are apparently living single lives but you know what things happen in life that are not convenient but we have to work around circumstances we cannot control.
1. you need good and constant communication, you must be willing to make sacrifices (both of you)
2. you also need to be friends in your marriage not just husband and wife you must have friendship in your marriage and the aspect of friendship in marriage is the one that makes you say anything and everything to your spouse because she is your friend.
3. you two need to combat challenges through prayer, one would chase a thousand two would chase ten thousand.
it is well with you both.
Thank you
Oga please if you can't forget it totally then you better end your mirage of a marriage asap...and stop tutoring ya self..
Se na u 4gv am?Eh forget it too nah,Thus says Sochi
currently experiencing same,,,, marriage should be enjoyed and endured,,,, the truth is that so long as she is away from home she will cheat again and again,cos the love is not there to restrain her,she don't love you and it's obvious. you need to be together to mend or u let her go.
Tell her to leave that job and go back home. She needs to live with you. Simple!!!
Forget about it, and forgive
U have said it all broda,forgive n forget just d way Jesus Christ did for us,if u want to start thinking about it,pick up ur bible and read,helps!
if youve really decided to forgive then so be it....love covereth all things and try spending more time together, in that way,there wont be space for anyone
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Oga pack well
Oga pack well
My friend. Just forgive her, get close to her n know y all dis is really happening in d marriage. Know where ur lacking n where ur going wrong for her to cheat. Women make d mistake of falling out of love wit dere spouse. And Pls forgive her if u really love her
Men cheat and expect their wives to forgive them, I believe a woman can be forgiven for her sins too. God forgives us all irrespective of the sin we commit.WHAT MORE CANCEL DO U WANT IF U HAVE SAID IT ALL. I really don’t know what to do cos the thought of it keeps annoying me but I love her so much and have decided to forgive her.SEE MY FRIENDU NO WHAT TO DO
Men cheat and expect their wives to forgive them, I believe a woman can be forgiven for her sins too. God forgives us all irrespective of the sin we commit.WHAT MORE CANCEL DO U WANT IF U HAVE SAID IT ALL. I really don’t know what to do cos the thought of it keeps annoying me but I love her so much and have decided to forgive her.SEE MY FRIENDU NO WHAT TO DO
Tell her to resign on her current job, she cn get a job dat wuld make her come home everyday. Or better still open a store for her nd get some one monitor her. If nt she will keep cheating.
You want to forgive her already,which is the best, we igbo's have a saying, you don't throw a baby away with the dirt. forgive her from your heart but ,watch her if she'll work for your trust. And be very sensitive,That way you'll know when something is off.
You are a weakling, how can you liv with a a woman that another man fucked while away. Av always maintained that long distance relationships can't work, only if another guy no mean your girl or guy. Dump her and stop deceiving yourself bcos you will hate her in the long run, that's men for u
Congrats for even considering forgiveness. if she truly repented of her error, then its charitable for you to forgive her. Remember how our Lord Jesus Christ forgave and saved the woman caught 'in the very act of commiting adultery' Make it a point of duty for the two of you to spend quality time together. Pray with her and for her. May God be with you. I wish you well.
currently experiencing same,,,, my opinion is that marriage is to be enjoyed not endured,,,, so long as she's away from home she will cheat again and again cos the love is not strong enough to restrain her,,,, ensuring you both stay together to mend differences is an option, let her go is also an option,,,it's up to you.
Bro, I feel urgent pain. Mine was before we got married. She told me she wa going to her uncle's house but actually spent the weekend with a guy. I knew she was lying then and told her not to go but she did not listen. I called her all night and at a point she switched her phone. To make matter worse, it rained all night n the thought of a guy doing it with my love was killing me. I couldn't sleep all night. To cut the long story short, I got to know about her escapade when she got to my house Monday morning. The guy called her and I collected her phone. She dragged the phone with me but I collected it. I ended the call and text the guy on her phone asking "what he enjoyed must during my(my babe) visit to his place:" The guy replied the text saying "he enjoy the things she brought and the X they had." I nearly die of heart attack because I never for once believe she could cheat on me. My point here is I forgave her and we eventually got married because I love her so much. However, After six years now I still remember sometimes and at that moment I cheat on her when I have the opportunity and that is the only way I clear the thought off my head because I love her then n I still love her now and won't allow the thought of her infidelity then to come between us. I am not saying u should cheat on your wife but forgetting might be hard. If you truly love her and she truly love u things will work out.
husband be like "babe, why are you cheating on me?"
wifey be like " pls, I belong to everybody, and i belong to nobody"
Congrats for even considering forgiveness. if she truly repented of her error, then its charitable for you to forgive her. Remember how our Lord Jesus Christ forgave and saved the woman caught 'in the very act of commiting adultery' Make it a point of duty for the two of you to spend quality time together. Pray with her and for her. May God be with you. I wish you well.
You need lots of prayers, communication, friendship, open mindedness. Forgiveness is easy, forgetting n getting to trust again is the issue. It's going to be hard because you guys are not even living together. It's harder as she isn't inlove with you to start with.. since you have forgiven her, give her the benefits of doubt that it won't repeat. May God direct you. This is what women go through in the hands of men, daily. Today the table turned.
Forgive her, Don't live separately, take a vacation work on your marriage and love. God will assist you.
if you want to continue the relationship one thing has to give way and that is she either move to where you are base or give up the marriage. the distance apart is not acceptable for young couples..
Well, forgive her and move on not bcos she promised but bcos you love her warts and all. But you have to accept that she might do it again someday. Here's the plus side, you know who she is now, nothing to surprise you about her again. ' The devil you know and all.......'
The truth of the whole issue is that both of you made mistakes and the blame will especially be on the Man for allowing the enemy(Devil) bring chaos in his home. I don't understand the rationale while You should leave Separately with your wife barely 6months you were legally married notwithstanding the nine months of courtship. Pls accept her forgive her for not being there when she needed you the most. You obviously caused her infidelity by leaving her to the wolves out there. Try and talk things out with the management of her firm and see if they can post her close to you. If its not possible, then she has to quit the Job or you do if necessary. This is my own opinion and let no one stone me for airing my VIEW.......
Dis LIB super story is quite interesting, and I hope Linda we do well to post my comment or else I wil hav to re-send it to other posts if d need b...
First, and foremost I acknowledge d fact of him opening up to his marital affairs but its best ideal not to blow ur marital affairs to d public domain bcos every marriages has their different challenges. So urs is not d first, and wil not b d last.
In fact he said it all wit dis words "Men cheat and expect their wives to forgive them, I believe a woman can be forgiven for her sins too. God forgives us all irrespective of the sin we commit". Dis means he has already know d in, and out to his problems.
Its pointless to start giving advise when he said "I really don’t know what to do cos the thought of it keeps annoying me but I love her so much and have decided to forgive her". Since u luv her so much, and hav decided to forgive her then go ahead wit ur marriage, and God wil see u guys through.
Dis goes to all married couple, though according 2d bible only on d grounds of adultery dat a man or woman can divorce his or her spouse but let me emphatically state dat when u forgive ur spouse for his or her faults committed mostly adultery God will keep dat for u, and make sure dat by dis measure he wil enrich, and bless ur life, and everytin dat concerns u. My brothers/sisters, there is power in true forgiveness.
If am in his shoes, and my gf commits dis I wil broke up wit her bcos broken r/ship is better than broken marriage but if its my wife I wil never broke up d marriage. I wil truly forgive her, and move on afterall marriage is all abt "for good, and worse till death do us part".
Pls take note of dis "D devil u know is far better than d angel u don't know". So many men or women has fell into d danger of leaving their spouse bcos of their faults, and end up wit someone dat is far worse than d one they were wit b4.
So b wise wit ur decision, and never mak any decision wit a heart dat is hurt. A word is enough 4d wise. Those who hav ears let them hear.
Dis LIB super story is quite interesting, and I hope Linda we do well to post my comment or else I wil hav to re-send it to other posts if d need b...
First, and foremost I acknowledge d fact of him opening up to his marital affairs but its best ideal not to blow ur marital affairs to d public domain bcos every marriages has their different challenges. So urs is not d first, and wil not b d last.
In fact he said it all wit dis words "Men cheat and expect their wives to forgive them, I believe a woman can be forgiven for her sins too. God forgives us all irrespective of the sin we commit". Dis means he has already know d in, and out to his problems.
Its pointless to start giving advise when he said "I really don’t know what to do cos the thought of it keeps annoying me but I love her so much and have decided to forgive her". Since u luv her so much, and hav decided to forgive her then go ahead wit ur marriage, and God wil see u guys through.
Dis goes to all married couple, though according 2d bible only on d grounds of adultery dat a man or woman can divorce his or her spouse but let me emphatically state dat when u forgive ur spouse for his or her faults committed mostly adultery God will keep dat for u, and make sure dat by dis measure he wil enrich, and bless ur life, and everytin dat concerns u. My brothers/sisters, there is power in true forgiveness.
If am in his shoes, and my gf commits dis I wil broke up wit her bcos broken r/ship is better than broken marriage but if its my wife I wil never broke up d marriage. I wil truly forgive her, and move on afterall marriage is all abt "for good, and worse till death do us part".
Pls take note of dis "D devil u know is far better than d angel u don't know". So many men or women has fell into d danger of leaving their spouse bcos of their faults, and end up wit someone dat is far worse than d one they were wit b4.
So b wise wit ur decision, and never mak any decision wit a heart dat is hurt. A word is enough 4d wise. Those who hav ears let them hear.
"Men cheat and expect their wives to forgive them, I believe a woman can be forgiven for her sins too. God forgives us all irrespective of the sin we commit" (LET US ABANDON THE REST OF THE QUOTE)"
Ask a woman (I am a man tho, if anyone doubts contact me after Ramadan) who has been with a cheating man, they don't get over it, they learn to live with it. yours Mr man is better because she has promised to stop (unlike some men that are unrepentant cheats). if you really love her, you can build your strength to forge on from that simple fact; love ( A loving eye never sees wrong )
You have every chance and right to Divorce her based on the empirical facts that you have gathered in as much as God frowns at divorce, cases like these are permissible BUT if you don't want to leave her, carry on and God will reward you for your perseverance, patience and understanding. To be able to carry on, learn to live with it. Focus on her positives, do not bring up the issue anytime she errs or does something suspicious, soon you will see it as a bad dream.
On a final note, I salute your (I don't even know what to call it) perseverance ( for lack of words to describe it). Love shall conquer all in the end. funny thing is, I could be in your shoes right now but Thank God the girl had the courage to send me away before we went ahead with the intro. Some women tho....playing 007 like men. Una don hear of Jamerine Bondess ni? na James Bond dey now
Be a guy man, una no go gree. Flex out of control as a teenager, una no go gree. This epistle gives us more than a glimpse of who this guy is- a Jew man. She's obviously very much in charge of this so-called marriage. Women fall in love uncontrollably with REAL GUY MEN(that's if you know what I mean). They even beg you to marry them. Bros, you burnt your youth. You no soji at all. You obviously married a chic that's more exposed than you. She married you for convenience. You irritate her. Sorry I'm being blunt. Just putting it the way it is. You wanted a soji chic when you weren't. You're now paying the price. No soji man will get cheated by his WIFE and come here to moan. Unfortunately you're stuck with her. The one thing that can assuage your pain a little is to have kids with her. Maybe and maybe, she might step down because of them. Meanwhile get a manual on how to be a guy man.
send HER packing ASAP. if you dont, you would be sorry you dint.
sad situation u find urself in, i forgave in the past and i got myself burnt. Take Heart
Ofcourse he will be more understanding, he wanted to sleep with u
Linda Wetin I do u? Y u no post my comment nah? Or u think it's easy to comment!!! Mstewwwwwwwwwwww
Well said
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