Must you sacrifice your career to make a successful marriage?- Agata Amata asks | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday, 4 April 2015

Must you sacrifice your career to make a successful marriage?- Agata Amata asks

What do you guys think?

138 comments:

gossip girl said...

Yes i can...if my husband has a good source of income

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

Wowza! Intelligent question, ladies over to you.

nkem said...

Not necessarily.our mothers did dem both successfully witout issues.

Unknown said...

One person have to sacrifice his or career for a marriage to work.

Davido's driver said...

No!!! No wife of mine would say i should quit driving because i am a fine boy

Davido's driver said...

No!!! No wife of mine would say i should quit driving because i am a fine boy

beewhy said...

Why sacrifice your career? At this present age, one engine cannot support the home. Both parties must bring something to the table... That is the only sacrifice I see that is reasonable.

Davido's driver said...

Yes pls

Alloy Chikezie said...

It all depends on the husband, I personally would love to marry a career woman, and not full time house wife

Your comment will be visible after approval

Unknown said...

Hell NO! I prefer d woman to b working class instead of b liability or full time housewife@home. Its so disgusting dat in d name of marriage letting go ur career.

Anonymous said...

Yes of course...but someone must make sure you have save some million bucks to cater for the family







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Eze said...

When u eat too much beans and its starts to purge u, u get restless and then start writing rubbish on social media.........who is amata again

Eze said...

When u eat too much beans and its starts to purge u, u get restless and then start writing rubbish on social media.........who is amata again

Newjwel said...

Noo...
Some men ll frustrate you at the middle of things.

Anonymous said...

Please women should never sacrifice their career for anything.

Unknown said...

Hell no! + husby and. Wifey shld talk abouh it all b4 marriage and agree on som certain tins left to me i'ld rada b a career woman dis men ain loyal biko!

Anonymous said...

Please women should never sacrifice their career for anything.

Unknown said...

Nope 2 mi career shldnt b 1 of dem. Serz ds days Men don't want liablity 4 a wife o dy prefer d hustling type, who @ d end of d Day or Month bring smth meaningful 2 d Table. So career is out of it 4 mi.

Blog It With Olivia said...

Nope, not ma career abeg
There should be an understanding not to sacrifice my career

Unknown said...

It's important both are balanced, however if career is posing threat to marriage, then it should be checked.

eka said...

marriage + career = fulfillment
sacrifices are put into d two and not one of them
2 achieve both happiness and fulfillment...

Unknown said...

They main issue is understanding.
They're many career men and women that are happy in their marriage.
Everybody with their luck.
While in some marriage especially the woman, have to sacrifice her career for it to work.

Unknown said...

marriage-career=a better

get all election histories at achieversdiary.com

Unknown said...

marriage-career=a better

get all election histories at achieversdiary.com

Unknown said...

marriage-career=a better

get all election histories at achieversdiary.com

Unknown said...

marriage-career=a better

get all election histories at achieversdiary.com

Anonymous said...

ur solely resposible for ur happiness,not career nor marriage....you and God!

BONARIO NNAGS said...

To each his own, there's no perfect marriage.
A perfect marriage is not the absence of hurt and quarrels, but the abundance of forgiveness.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Unknown said...

I don't have to listen to pipo to make my
Marriage a successful one.
Successful marriage is all about understanding
And finding your soul mate.
Call me selfish but I can't sacrifice my career.

Unknown said...

Sacrifices are involved in successful marriages but its not a must to sacrifice your career....

Onomiroro Dono Okeh said...

Of course not! I'll go with the second. Marriage + career = fulfillment. But you must learn to prioritize. One must be your top priority and honestly; that should be your marriage. Its actually what defines your success as a woman firstly/your primary assignment. And of course there's nothing like the joy of knowing you're making an impact in this world. Today; we have men encouraging their wives in pursuit of their career. Because their success always reflects on the home front. Just be wise, fair and sincere in pursuing that career. You shouldn't be consumed or lost in it that you forget your primary duty as a wife/mother. I think when such happens I tell you: your man will ask you to let go. Kindly visit www.thepinkjournalng.blogspot.com.

BECKYS WORLD EVENTS /NAIJA BAKERS BLOG said...

B. Marriage plus career. Am career driven.

Anonymous said...

Career will come n go, while ur home is there 4eva, even wen u r gone. A good home is a result of successful marriage.

Unknown said...

this question shldnt be asked...its a detailed info on a sum..so whatever is d goal,then stick to d equation...life is really that simple...like I will say this life?u just gaz find the sin u can live with and blame no one for ur choices....
OVER AND OUT...

APPLE said...

I believe in marriage, i hate divorce. When the children are very young it is good for the woman to stay home while oga works and once they are older you can go back to work. Divorce affects children more. I have my home, job and marriage can't ask for more.

Juleslouis said...

What i think is every spouse should support, encourage and respect each others career as long as it isn't legal and doesn't affect d family especially d kids. Some men r just so jealous and selfish that they will prefer their wives to stay at home while they run around with their secretaries. Some men in this category r d ones that won't still drop money for soup.

Anonymous said...

Marriage +career....makes a better marriage

Unknown said...

What nonsense marriage is that?!... Biko!!! I can use money buy myself a wifeband. Career first #Case closed!!!

Baby P said...

I think having a balance in both marriage and career make a sucessful marriage.

Unknown said...

What nonsense marriage is that?!... Biko!!! I can use money buy myself a wifeband. Career first #Case closed!!!

Unknown said...

Depends on one's priorities
Career over marriage EVERYTIME.

Etsako Pearl said...

Not rily,depends on wat i want for my fam..i can be a career woman n still create quality tym for my family.

lawngmahan said...

Firstly it takes God for any marriage to work out (+/-) career
SecondlyIt depends on wat u choose as ur career and how time consuming it is
And thirdly how committed u r to ur marriage and how understanding ur spouse is

Lawngmahan says so

magi said...

Hmm dis matter eh,e get as e be ooo

Madam Hoha said...

Marriage + career = a better home.
Any man who truly loves his woman would help her build a career to support the home. Days of women building a career in the kitchen are over!

Unknown said...

Create balance always. ----C21

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

I feel if he loves u, he will live wat u do as well cos dats ur person. I mean, he met u doin it so y want u to stop after marriage?

Unknown said...

Of cos yes, a career woman can never make a gud wife nt to talk of bn a gud mother.

Unknown said...

Of cos yes, a career woman can never make a gud wife nt to talk of bn a gud mother.

Unknown said...

Of cos yes, a career woman can never make a gud wife nt to talk of bn a gud mother.

elle said...

The 2nd and 3rd very true

Unknown said...

Of cos yes, a career woman can never make a gud wife nt to talk of bn a gud mother.

Unknown said...

I disagree aslong as you can manage both of th without 1 suffering

Unknown said...

The sacrifice should be time not career

Jules said...

I don't think so...#myopinion

ibim Bobmanuel said...

my thought shared. There shouldn't be marriage in the first place, if there's not an understanding of what life should look life after that marriage. so invariably marriage is a career

Anonymous said...

Definitely! Except ure lucky to be successful in a career like blogging like Linda, it is d hardest thing. Esp wen u got 3 kids to look after! It's not even about d husband 4 me, it z d children's happiness

Anonymous said...

E no easy, make we no lie.. Some husbands no mind sha

Anonymous said...

Husband or wives who cheat don'tind either way.. Shrug.. Lol

Anonymous said...

Husband or wives who cheat don'tind either way.. Shrug.. Lol

Anonymous said...

It is possible, some women really do have it all! Aka.. ME! ;)

Anonymous said...

It is possible. Some women really do have it all.. Aka.. ME! ;)

Carina Kikelomo Jacob said...

Career Should be among it. Career + Marriage equals HAPPINESS! Marriage is even not a piority or a do or die affair.

Unknown said...

At times yes but at times on d contrary

Anonymous said...

No, if the people in a marriage truly love each other, you will want each other to be "whole," by being fulfilled and the only way that can happen is when you do what you are designed to do. However, you can't do all things at once, so as long as people are wise enough to schedule things in the right "seasons" of their lives and not be overly aggressive in chasing their career by knowing that you can't be all things to all people, it will be fine.

Unknown said...

Yea, u have to make a lotta sacrifice to have a successful marriage and Career is certainly not one of them. Its not even on the list of options.



#TeamBlessed#

Anonymous said...

Im not married but I choose b. Although my mum chose c for her marriage to work but that's bcos my day cud provide & twas in "those days"

waiting for opinion from married folks esp women

Anonymous said...

Thing is... Men off these days want u to perform miracle quite frankly I don't think half know what they want
They want u to look sexy, go at and work but be at home with food & sex ready like u didnt pass through d same lagos traffic, evrything all at the same time

linda said...

Marriage plus a career is a blessing....esp if U av kids n Ur marriage is great. Dats like what every woman prays for. If Ur married esp with kids, and ur husband is doin well den yea u cn sacrifice ur career...doesn't mean you should be idle dou, u cn always get smetin doin. If you chose career over marriage, dere 's no guarantee dat u'l b happy and u'l surely regret it later.

Unknown said...

Marriage + carrier. I can't marry a womanwho does get busy aside domestic chores.





Busy Fingers.

Anonymous said...

Girl Pls go to school and learn to write

Anonymous said...

Jus see u...who wants to marry a driver??? When people talk, u Wud join them?

Davido's driver said...

Igbo girls must everything be about money? What if he is a thief??

Anonymous said...

You are so clueless. Why not ask a question reasonably rather than place insults first. You strike me as being extraordinarily rude. You should be sensible at this stage. Ask intelligently and learn.

Anonymous said...

If you marry right, You wouldn't mind sacrificing your career for marriage. A career or lack of a career doesn't a good home and marriage make. Its just that some men and women have terrible family backgrounds with emotionally abused moms or dads that they can't ever really be happy in whatever situation the find themselves. Some people have wonderful careers and beautiful marriages while some others have given up their careers for marriage or a home and are totally misreable. If your job or career makes you happy stick with it. If you have a husband or wife who doesn't want you at that Job, Take a walk. Marriage is not fair just as life is not fair. If you'll rather have the marriage then leave your career but while you do that remember that husbands are earthly perks and one day can hurt you by saying you are a drain on their pocket or you should also contribute to the family fund. Life is just constantly a juggle at one point or the other.. Find what works for you and your spouse or family. If you are not happy with it and can't compromise then its time to say bye bye to the marriage or career whichever one you agree upon....

Anonymous said...

Nice one.... most so called career need to be checked.. some women can't manage their home all in d name of career..it all depends on what u have as career... your home and ur duty as a mother shld be major part of ur career...if whatever u have as career will affect ur home & mother hood, then u need to be Oprah... #staysingle...

Anonymous said...

Good

Unknown said...

I disagree 99.9%

Chimdi Okoye said...

Firstly try to make d right choice of a marriage partner, some one who will understand & accept ur career and mind what u call career cuz if u must have both (marriage & career), their shld be a balance & some limitations but if ur so called career will affect ur marriage/home in a negative way and u can't change or make some adjustments,then leave marriage alone till u r ready.....or just be Oprah...#staysingle... U must not marry...

ary said...

Something has gotta give! That is what marriage is about; sacrifices, you gotta give up something or at least let one thing suffer and another flourish. But both man and wife can have a happy marriage and career, look at Brangelina.

linda said...

She shud let go of her marriage instead? D questn is more like asking the lady to choose between her career or her marriage. It happens in real life scenarios too. Like Ur hubby askin you to quit a job dat makes u work late in2 d nyt.

Unknown said...

It takes understanding,love and forgiveness to make a marriage work. Career is secondary in this context. Linda take note!

Unknown said...

A woman that is idle can never be happy. I can never let go of my career that's what defines me

Unknown said...

You spoke sense......., in this present age? Nah...., not at all. if he's not kul with what you do? Then he's selfish and not really the one for you.

Unknown said...

You are Child dear......, you were not born during the days of Inside out with Agata &hey! Ignorant Child...., lest I forget to tell you too, she's Fred Amata's ex wife. so next time ask before u post comments out of ignorance and without shame.

Anonymous said...

For asking who she is, you're the dumbest amongst the LIB lot

Unknown said...

Hahaha......, Jules ain't sacrificing her Carrier for no man. if you love me......,ma happiness will also make you happy...., A man who truely loves you wouldn't want you to be Jobless...., or wouldn't dictate what you should do rather he'll support you, but ladies should learn to balance the both. don't put your carrier first...., just balance both.

Anonymous said...

I think u have a problem of digestion. Either u don't read or cannot decipher. Amata only asked a question and she actually quote what people said. Face ur books little boy

Anonymous said...

Women learn how to balance your careers, DO NOT GIVE THEM UP UNLESS YOUR CHILD HAS AN AILMENT. There are hands to assist in giving your children a balanced upbringing. Do not let any man deceive you into thinking, you must stop working and don't let him push you into teaching alone . a lot of men would begin to complain about finances and then maltreat you. Only a select few have the mind of some of our fathers of old. Your children will not forgive you if you leave them to the mercy of their fathers pockets. Men no vex but some of you can attest to your own fathers rotten attitudes towards providing and a lot of you saw how your mothers killed themselves to provide for you. Ladies do not under any circumstances stop working or a good business. I am not just talking he opened a store for me. Everybody can't sell, every body can not and should not be a shop owner.

Unknown said...

U get sense so?

Unknown said...

Google is ya friend.

TAMARA SPLASH said...

Gbam. I will if he has a good source of income

Nky said...

No body wants to be a house wife, my career comes first then any other thing can follow..

Unknown said...

@gossip girl, dat is y u wil remain liability to ur hubby. Wht abt if sth happen to ur hubby source of income? Its better to b working, and balance ur home.

I distaste full time housewife dat sit, and wait for d hubby to bring money while they produce babies. It so bizarre, and disgusting.

There is nothing lik b sef made, or b in career thereof.

AMIJEZ said...

unless you're rich like Dangote,even at that am not a lazy person to stay idle. The Nigerian situation does not support such.

Mr. True Talk said...

Linda, it depend on the career. if the career is not too time demanding on both party then no need to sacrifice. but on the other hand if it too time demanding then the person especially the woman have to quit. even men this days quit job that takes too much of their time.

isa uk said...

No I can't sacrifice my career for my marriage to be successful. Career + marriage + happiness + successful that's all I stand for.

Anonymous said...

Women like Tsitsi Masiyiwa, Dakore Akande, Caroline Danjuma and that beauty queen flying around in a private jet don't need careers. If the man is wealthy and responsible enough to provide for his family as it should be, why does the wife need to work? Is Lola Okoye working? Do the maths. Even Linda Ikeji is blogging for money.

Anonymous said...

Kwakwakwakwakwakwakwa

Unknown said...

Gossip girl
Shows how dumb u are
Not an insult but facts

Unknown said...

You girls will kill nigeria with ur stupid mentality

Mamie said...

Nothing in life is my dear. So wake up from your whooped mentality! Na your type dey cry for midnight say she's lonely. Why not ask God for all his numerous blessings to be bestowed upon you. If it's cos you're already old you're thinking this way then you need serious help.

Anonymous said...

You stupid liability, when u are been spoon fed by d man who kpt you at home, buys u recharge card and aso ebi when he feels like, lazy ass fat liability. U can't even buy caprisonne for d kids until ur husband comes back from wherever he went to find solace, y won't you say rubbish. Wait till he's no more then u understand d meaning of WORK

Anonymous said...

Idiot lazy gal, Ngozi okonjo iweala isn't a wife and mother right? Beyonce isn't a wife and mum? Stay there and be a liability

Unknown said...

Good point you've got there. But have you stopped to ask yourself "what if he's sacked from his job or his biz crashes or he dies suddenly " etc? How will you and your kids survive?

Unknown said...

pls, marriage + career... D important tin is knwing hw 2 mk it wrk 4 d both of u.. Dere's no way a marriage will wrk if one party feels unhappy/unfulfilled..

Unknown said...

Dumb question.. So because you're "married" your life becomes meaningless that all you do is be "married".. Again DUMB QUESTION

Anonymous said...

Personally speaking I can't o, I cant let my husband suffer 24/7 and I sit at home doing what? Marriage is all about understanding, supporting, loving etc, you cant say you love your spouse and you watch them suffer day In and day Out just to bring food on the table while you sit home like you are the Queen or something, you have to understand that is hard out there to make money, that's why you have to go out there and help your spouse to put food on the table and other finances. I'm a happily married woman and mother with a career, I still got time for my child, husband and myself..

Anonymous said...

Lol! You won't work as a driver IJN!

Anonymous said...

So this is your prayer for yourself? To marry a man you will be feeding, and you think he won't become a lying sleazy son of a bitch and cheat on your ass and even beat you on top. Becareful what you wish for.

Anonymous said...

And who d dumb f**k are u?

Anonymous said...

Nyc opinion @beewhy

Seun and Samuel said...

My marriage first, but my career is my life. I will balance the two so I can be called a successful woman.

Anonymous said...

You're obviously an Igbo woman.,, always ready to be a liability... Mtschewww... I just pity your daughters

Anonymous said...

Mentality of an Igbo woman.., liability since 1960 .,, lmao

Tetsara said...

Biko. Let me lend a voice. New mothers should not be involved in jobs that cause them to neglect their young children for long.
Wives should try not to neglect their husbands but if they absolutely have to, my dear, go make some dough!
Children are the important ones in the family equation. So choose your job carefully

Anonymous said...

Well said my brother! Well said ... Leave all this women that want to kill men with responsibility...

Anonymous said...

Igbo man!! Repressing women since 1960... Mtscheeew

Anonymous said...

Reality speaking

Anonymous said...

There are no do's or dont' in marriage, we have different marriages so what works in your marriage may not work in mine. There's nothing like work full time career or full time house wife.

Anonymous said...

Marriage is a priority. Ur statement shows u aren't married. If u r good and married for right reasons u will meet ur own bone of bone.

Anonymous said...

Sacrifice your career for a successful marriage? Or sacrifice your career to make your husband feel comfortable?

This world is so weird :s

Anonymous said...

I pity u. U gv Ds and cos u ain't married ryt?? Men r very selfish in nature.

Anonymous said...

What the name of your writing biko? I keep seeing it in every topic, which means that's how you write. Smh

Anonymous said...

You just confirmed the kind of person you are. Very unintelligent, myopic and crude! Obviously an iyaalata. No wonder you have all the time to sleep on lib. Agbaya oshi. See thought pattern, very limited way of thinking!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, right... and u complain when she has no time for chores and ish. Yet u guys go to work, get back and just gallivant around the house... I am a married woman with a time consuming job... I tell you it's crazy and considering the fact that my idiotic husband complains if he has to microwave his own food... Pissed working wife

Anonymous said...

Until Pastors start preaching that marriage is not the ultimate, this Nigeria will continue having issues in that aspect ... although is not about that, anybody is entitle to his or her own opinion. Please don't go make that crazy sacrifice for marriage ooo.
God help you with your decision.
jk23401@yahoo.com

BLUNT said...

Did you just say 'both parties must bring something to the table'? And people are even clapping for you? Including women! No,sir! It is the responsibility of a man to take care of his family 100%! Anything your wife decides to "bring to the table" should be seen as what it is-a privilege. See what the white man and his immoral culture have done to the African man! See how shameless we've become. So you'd joyfully demand for her 'to bring something to the table'? Kai! My guy, change this mentality of yours. It will only get you more indolent. Guys,if you can't convincingly take care of a woman,you have no business with marriage. Yes, I'm an Igbo man!

BLUNT said...

Did you just say 'both parties must bring something to the table'? And people are even clapping for you? Including women! No,sir! It is the responsibility of a man to take care of his family 100%! Anything your wife decides to "bring to the table" should be seen as what it is-a privilege. See what the white man and his immoral culture have done to the African man! See how shameless we've become. So you'd joyfully demand for her 'to bring something to the table'? Kai! My guy, change this mentality of yours. It will only get you more indolent. Guys,if you can't convincingly take care of a woman,you have no business with marriage. Yes, I'm an Igbo man!

Unknown said...

You don't need to sacrifice your career for a successful marriage, the lady just needs to be very concious of her family. I advised that for married people at least one of them must be in a paid job, and one must be involved in a business so it could be the wife in a paid job or the husband and vice versa. Because Family is everything! In the hierarchy of Life it is God First, Family(Marriage) second then Career. So don't trade your career over your marriage.

Anonymous said...

I'm not surprised...just as i started to read this...i knew you were igbo. That said, that's the major reason majority of the clan marry @ 50 just so they get all the money they need. And those who decide to marry early, decide to have dinner with the devil in money making ritual. No harm intended. But sincerely, the man to which comment you have responded has spoken wisely. Sit and sip from the elder's glass. You never know, you might turn out wiser! Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Idiotic? I understand ma'am. Modern Nigeria women are strong. *cheers to good wives.

Anonymous said...

Your choice ma'am, it's indeed a free world!

Anonymous said...

Speak for yourself ma'am! You were not appointed as the women's advocate! Life is full of choices. Make yours today and count your gains or otherwise tomorrow. Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Well said *in Pete Edochie's baritone

Anonymous said...

One day, someone asked Johnbull to make a wish, he proudly said " I want to drive a vehicle with so many girls in it." 20yrs later, Johnbull became the head driver @ St Matthews girls college, driving a school bus filled with school girls. He got his wish! Moral of the story: There's a fierce power in your tongue, be wise!

Anonymous said...

Wisdom is profitable.... #holybible

Unknown said...

you have to strike a balance

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