Dear LIB readers: I'm supoosed to marry in Oct. but another woman is pregnant for my man
From a female LIB reader
I have fixed my wedding for October here in the UK but I just found out that another lady is pregnant for my fiance back home in Nigeria. She's six months pregnant, due to give birth in October, same month I am getting married. To say that I am devastated is putting it mildly. I am so hurt that I've shut myself from the outside world. I am now so confused as to what to do. He has been begging me since I found out not to cancel the wedding. The pregnant lady actually contacted me via Facebook to tell me she's having my man's baby and when I confronted him, he didn't deny it. I have been with this man for three and a half years and all my family and friends have contributed one way or another to this wedding. The invitations haven't gone out yet, but all our people know the wedding is for October. I am so confused. Should I cancel the wedding? My female friends are telling me not to but surprisingly, my mum wants me to. What should I do?
Go ahead and marry this guy. At least he did not deny the pregnancy. It has happend to my friend who got another girl pregnant while preparing for his wedding. They went ahead and got married while the other girl had his baby. The wife has a son for him now and they are both happy
Suppose you had married him and then found out? What would you have done? Walk out of/Cancel the marriage? This is an acid test for you. Can you forgive him? The baby mama wants your wedding called off and that is why she made sure she contacted you. She is playing her cards well. Its up to you to give in to her schemes. I don't know what might have been your fiancés reasons for doing what he did. Listen to his reasons first. If he is asking for your forgiveness and its you he wants to marry, and you love him enough to forgive him, then go ahead and get married to him. You will be a good candidate for marriage. Marriage is all about love demonstrated by hurting and forgiving. Your mum is not necessarily right. I am a mum too. and I have married kids.
Follow ur heart dearie.Nobody can decide 4 u but u take a decision u don't end up regretting.U don't marry out of pity.D Lord is ur strength. 1st to comment
Poster, since u havnt sent out invitation cards yet, they can edit d card na so they cn photoshop ur fiance''s mistres into the card make e kukuma marry una two
Since he hasn't pay her pride price u better go on with your wedding things, hadn't be he has married her I would have said no Coz the Bible said I made them male and female. Not male and females, carry on girl it doesn't change anything.
My dear I'm as confused as you, 1st of all, how sure are you that his parents doesn't know about the lady pregnant for him that its not something arranged from home ie niaja. Its hard to do but easy to say but all same, my advice is that you leave him I mean cancel the wedding
First do not give much consideration to what people, family or friends would say because they will not be the one to marry him. What should matter is will you be happy with him or are you okay with it. On a second thought what if the lady had not called you, that means he would not have opened up. So my dear set emotions aside and think. If you know u can forgive him and let the wedding roll. Also if you know you didnt really trust him much and now this, pls let him go.
My dear betrayal hurts but u can get past it with God's help! Cancel the wedding, ask God for the grace, get out there make new frnds and start afresh. Goodluck
First do not give much consideration to what people, family or friends would say because they will not be the one to marry him. What should matter is will you be happy with him or are you okay with it. On a second thought what if the lady had not called you, that means he would not have opened up. So my dear set emotions aside and think. If you know u can forgive him and let the wedding roll. Also if you know you didnt really trust him much and now this, pls let him go.
i wont tell you what to do. But if its ME...i'll cancel and part ways with him, i cant deal with baby mama drama, and i wont marry some1 elses' man. No
Cancel abeg.....reasons best known to me. Similar thing happened to a friend,she went ahead with it. What she is goin thru now wt d man and his baby mama nor b small. And d hubby made soooo much promises to her before she agreed nt too. Those pple that are aware wont live with you. They will chop rice and meat and dts all. U will bear d sufferin alone. Yur mother is very right. Cancel plsssss
So you want to marry who cheated and not only cheated got someone pregnant and never told you, till the girl told you herself? How can you even trust a man like that? What is this nonsense about marriage? Marriage is not for everyone, stay single and happy till you meet the man that God created just for you alone. Anything other than that is going to be night mare. I know it hurts l, but trust me it will pass too, time heals all wounds. Let him go now.
Hello, sorry about your situation. Please see the brighter side of things which is that you found out before tying the knot. Follow your mums advice and end it
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GO AHEAD AND MARRY A AN WHO YOU KNOW HAS NOT BEEN FAITHFUL TO YOU. WOMAN PLS CANCEL THE WEDDING AND YOUR PRINCE WILL COME. UNLESS YOUARE HAPPY WITH LIVING A MISERABLE LIFE. LISTEN TO YOUR MUM, MARRIAGE IS NOT BY FORCE. I ADVICE YOU TO GO READ A BOOK BY BIMBO ODUKOYA CALLED 165 QUESTIONS TO ASK WHEN PICKING A PARTNER. YU ARE WONDERFULLY MADE DONT SETTLE FOR LESS.
So you are still asking questions when you have already seen the handwriting on the wall. He is unfaithful before marriage and hes going to be after marriage. I live in uk as well and know how this pricks called men behave. Pour him away like vegetable water. If you marry him he will continue to break your heart. Go out and be happy socialize and a good man will come sweep you off your feet. Bless
Not calling off the wedding is emotional blackmail.Lucky u found out before the wedding invites were sent out. He doesn't deserve u, if he couldn't stay faithful he could at least have used protection. Yes its indeed painful but trust me ure a lot better off. He won't be able to look away from the baby when it comes, and there would always be dis other woman in ur face. Abeg waka far! He wants to eat his cake and have it. Chai!- Feyi
YOU FOOL! Your so-called husband to be has been playing behind your back and you are still confused? The other lady is even pregnant, something that he has not even denied. If I were you, I would cut my losses now, dump and move on with your life. This man has already shown you that he is not reliable, not loyal, not faithful and certainly not trustworthy. If you marry him, he is not going to change- he will only just carry on. Your mother is a fool for encouraging you to press ahead with your marriage- you should ask your mother how much money she has collected from this so-called husband to be
Hmmm....dis is one hard decision to make but then the mistake has been made already u both hav gone a long way just use the case of tuface n annie as example she went thru alot but nw shes happy with her man, if u decide to leave him bcuz of this mistake wat makes u tink the next person u gng for won't b worse? My dear go on with the wedding n accept it...
I can imagine how heart broken you are my dear. A man who cheats on you after been together for over 3years will continue to cheat even after marriage. To even think he goes down without CDs, pls run for your dear life before he infects you with HIV.
the best thing is to cancel d wedding.how sure are u dat he will be faithful if u marry u.and dont forget he is expecting a child.dis is not seasonal film dat are fictions.
If the man chooses to marry you instead of the already pregnant lady then go ahead n marry him on a condition that he will never bring the woman to your marital home,except the unborn child when born.
B you better cancel it. Its difficult yeah, but you've got to do what you've got to do. When did he plan to tell you about this ish? After the wedding when you won't have a choice but to stay with him? For crying out loud he's kept this from you for 6months! I wonder what else he's keeping from you. #NuffSaid
Sincerely listen to your mum, he's not faithful 4 not telling you too hmm he can even marry d gal without u knowing. That really dangerous, its shows he's not trustworthy at all. He can even kill or put u in trouble. Just pray about it n hear frm God, tell a true man of God to councel u properly.
Mother knows best. Listen to your mum and trust God. You will find someone else. That would be a terrible marriage. What this proves is that you have no idea who ur marrying cos he didnt even plan on telling you. Your life will be hell if u marry that type of guy.
God punish devil. Men will not seize to amaze me. My dear, ask God to direct ur path cos if am to advice u will tell u to call it off. There is no joy in marrying someone u can't trust, heartless man n a man with no integrity. Only God knows what he will do to u if u later marry him. Let's always pray for a man with de fear of God not only a man that is loaded with cash n material things. Shalom!
My advise is that you should keep praying and looking up to your real man, it will come some day, some time. And know you, that every disappointment is a blessing. But don't try to put asunder to what God has joined together. The man is not meant for you..... hanikomo1@yahoo.com
I realy sympathise with you dear lady. My own little advice to you, is to cancel the wedding because a man that can do that to you before marriage will definitely do more than that when married. And thank God your mom is in support of cancelling, listen to her dear because parents know a great deal about this things. Don't listen to your friends cos they will laugh at you at the end and that's if they are not doing it already! Be strong girl,your real man will come. *Rayo Estelle Deckson*
Pls my dear sister if you re a christian, go and seek the face of God to lead you what to do, bcos he's the only one who know what will happen in future and he's the only one that can tell exactly how it'll be, listen to human advice can be good or bad, so pls becareful
It depends on the lady. If she thinks she can cope or share her man with another man,she can go on but if she can't, I strongly advice her to face the shame now and save herself from future bullshits...Be wise lady, think deeply!!
Dear LIB reader, same thing happened2me last year.just before our intro ceremony hecame clean dat a lady he had a fling with d previous year, jus called him dat she was 8months preggy4him but he didnt av d boldness2tell me until she had his boi n his family members insisted he told me n not deceive me into marriage.2say I was heartbroken is putting It mildly, I almost ran mad cos I had jus lost our child few months b4.long story short we re married now, he begged.his entire family begged, n my mum n a bestfriends mum both told me2go ahead.all my friends male n female told me2follow my heart n b happy.den I realized after hearing 4rm both sides dat she wanted 2b his wife at all cost,after telling her he had a fiancee, she kept d child, so I cudnt av allowed her win.trust me it wud take a lot for you to trust him again but if hes sincere he wud earn d trust again.
YOU HAD BETTER LEAVE THAT MAN...LIAR AND TRAITOR, YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY..YOUR MOTHER KNOWS BEST, ITS BETTER TO BE OUT THAN IN, EVEN IF PEOPLE ARE SHOCKED YOU CALLED IT OFF, ITS BETTER NOW THAN LATER. I CALLED OFF A 6 YR OLD RELATIONSHIP WHERE I HAD DONE INTRODUCTION SEF BUT THE GUY KEPT POSTPONING THE WEDDING DATE EVEN MY MARRIAGE COUNSELLING COURSE MATES HAD ALL MARRIED I WAS ASHAMED AND THOUGHT GOD WAS NOT ALIVE BUT HIS COMPENSATION FOR ME 3 YEARS AFTER IS STILL MY BIGGEST TESTIMONY...NOW I KNOW GOD DIDNT WANT ME THERE, I MARRIED MY BEST FRIEND AND HE WORSHIPS THE GROUND I WALK ON...BE WISE, GOD IS TELLING YOU SOMETHING...BY THE WAY, ITS 4 YEARS NOW AND MY EX IS NOT MARRIED...
my sister, i have two word for you, RUN FAST! listen to your mother, she knows what she is saying. don't worry God will bring another man, because if he can do this to you, before marriage, after marriage you are his already and he can do whatever he likes, how would you even feel watching him hold another child as his first born not yours? not even thinking about the baby mama drama, the male topic is just too broad to even get into, but just pick your slippers and run, run fast.
Don't marry him. He doesn't love you, is marrying you for the wrong reasons (probably for the fact you live in the UK and/or you're rich, and will most likely cheat on you again.
Wel, a man who could impregnate anoda woman while u wr engaged to him could do d same while u ar maried to him as well. So, think deep and do wat ur hrt says
Follow ur heart, the choice is urs to make but if it were me I would cancel ASAP because that's d beginning of trouble. And also if u don't mind sharing ur house with ur baby mama, den just go with it, well think wisely.
Omo see gobe ooo. If he still wants to marry the nigeria girl and u as a second wife...well if all depends on u. if u want to be a second wife go ahead but if u dont want follow ur mum.
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I feel your pain. And must say to write about it shows a step of courage. From my experiences and those around me i can draw from to tell you what I honestly think... 1. Going ahead with a marriage is a decision only you can make.. and since you aren't in best state of mind for it. I'll advise you postpone the wedding. 2. A man who can impregnate a lady while dating you for 3 years and cannot summon the courage to tell you.. Under any circumstances even duress isn't capable to lead and love you. im not saying anyone is perfect but there are some deal breakers that can't be compromised in marriage. 2. If you are that kind of lady who wants her man for herself and family.. then you will forever feel that pang of 'I'm not the only woman' Which will shatter your self esteem over time. 3. Friends will never live with you in your matrimonial home neither will your mother.. but she has known you long enough to know what she perceives the vision for your life is...mothers instincts are never hit and miss. Trust me if you decide to put the wedding on hold. Your mother will help you wield the support of others to see your point of view and they will not regret their input but praise your boldness. 4.while you are being praised for boldness get your life together so you don't wallow in self pity..braise yourself up. PRAY.CRY.PRAY...I believe that God will give you will get compensated with someone who will be faithful till you breathe your last. Cos every woman's creator designed that for her. 5. Salute him for his honesty.for not denying when you asked him cos many men will cover up just not to hurt you. And if you have thought of the following A. If you can deal with a man that's not sexually faithful to you. B.A man who can hide important information without the slightest hint C. You check yourself and see that postponing/cancelling wedding is something you can will yourself to do..but the people factor is the real main issue.
If you think you honestly answer a No in a&b and yes in c. Please I beg you...walk away from all the plans.
I'm not saying it won't hurt, you won't cry but guess what...you can love again. I know the time spent is a lot but it is worth to leave. You will thank yourself everyday in your future.
My sister. This is very hard but what this has shown you is your fiancées unfaithfulness and the fact he didn't confess before the girl did is betrayal and he would have kept quiet. I would also like to point out how you have highlighted the wedding above the marriage which goes beyond that day. I too will be marrying in Oct and being the person I am marriage is not a do or die affair I would stop all plans and cancel till I have forgiven to move on with my life with or without him. You have to ask yourself if you can forgive him completely and accept your new step child and the mother as they will always be a part of your lives if you want to marry him. You are making your vow before God who requires you requires us to forgive (how can two walk unless they agree?) . It is not a pill most can swallow but you have to be honest and true to yourself. I think Mumsi is only worried that marriage may not come again as I am assuming you are not in the early part of your twenties so her fear is when you will settle especially seeing you have invested three years to this man and eventually have your own home and children. Sister delay is not denial. I would say get wedding insurance. Then you can postpone and recover some of the costs till you can figure this out because this will be a life long commitment. (and yes the insurance will pay you majority of what have lost. my close friend did and got the £15k out of the £25k she spent back) Then I would ask you to review your relationship. You know at times there are signs we over look because of love or even fear but our instincts were telling us otherwise. Look back and trace your steps to where you are now and then the next, 5-10 years, can you see happiness, faithfulness, your step child and your children playing together and and being one family? If you can't it's not a bad thing, you are being honest if you can it's not a noble thing either and u must not throw it back when things happen down the way. It is a choice for your life and of marriage. The cliché would be to say just pray and just pray. But prayer without works is dead, without evaluation is dead, without checking yourself and your soul is dead. Yes pray and stand before your maker regarding this but remember the spirit of God 'Emmanuel- God with us' dwells with you. You don't need laying on of hands or a man/woman of God to tell you anything God can guide you all by Himself. Deep down I know you know the answer. It's getting it to line up with your mind and heart and coming to the reality of speaking what is within outside. It is well with u my sister. Be true to thyself. Let that be your mantra and forgive either way so this will not hinder your future. God bless JJ
No man is faithful,yet some strive to maintain a level of dignity. U are going into d marriage eyes wide open. Thank God for the revelation now, then search your soul and make ur decision,bcos only u can know where the shoe pinches and only u will live with your decision. My candid advice is ......cancel the marriage. He is not an honorable man to insist u carry on with the wedding while another woman is carrying his child. Again if he was honest with you,he would have been the one to tell you he had an affair or mistake or whatever he chooses to call it. Down the road he will display more dishonorable acts that will leave you heartbroken. Listen to your mother...value urself and a valuable man will come ur way. This baby is already existing and by all standards will continue to exist as his first child. May God direct you. Linda pls publish this..she needs to hear the facts.
My dear, I want to advise you marriage is a thing of life time n during counselling dey say a persons current character will become worse 10times .firstly he didnt tell you abt the pregnant lady until dhe contact ed you via Facebook. That guy is not serious minded, I hv seen cases as such and that he guys actually told d lady from the very first day of the pregnancy. I advised you follow ur mums advice and walk away it is better for you.look at 2face evn though another woman gave birth for him soon after his wedding annie wS carried along from the beginning that shows respect.i hv seen so many engagement cancelled. U ll nt be d first or d last.MOVE ON
Thats really a tough one. A part of me wants to tell you to let it go, but another part of me wants to tell you to stay and see if she can work it through. Cuz three years no be joke at all. But dang! Na wa for guys sha.... God will direct you.
In my humble opinion I'd advice one if two things. Move the wedding and use the time to do your findings and if you're really up for it. It cancel because if six months ago he had sex with another woman, knocked her up,his it from you till you heard from her then you should imaginewhat your marriage would be like. Deceit and cheating are a bad combo. If he came home one day crying and begging you and then told you himself,different story. That would have given you enough tune veggie October. So dear you should be happy you found out before the wedding
LISTEN TO ME. FORGET ABOUT YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND MAKE THE WISE DECISION. PEOPLE DONT CHANGE. IF HE CHEATED ONCE HE'LL CHEAT AGAIN, ITS NOT LIKE YOURE PREGNANT OR SOMETHING. GOD WILL PROVIDE SOMEONE BETTER. LOYAL.
IF HE CHEATED ONCE HE'LL CHEAT AGAIN. BE WISE. THIS HAS HAPPENED TO TOO MANY WOMEN. YOU KNOW HOW ITS WORSE FOR THEM? BECAUSE THEY'RE ALREADY MARRIED. HE FUCKED THE WOMAN. IT WASN'T A MISTAKE.
Pray for a sign? What other sign? Boyfriend of 3 years got someone pregnant and she should pray for a sign. My dear, ask yourself if you can ever trust him again. Do you want to marry him cos you love him and have forgiven him or is it because you want to save face?
HE KNEW WHEN HIS DICK WENT INTO HER AND DIDN'T TELL YOU. I DONT KNOW EITHER OF YOU, IM NOT JUDGING HIM, I'M JUST SAYING IF HE CHEATED ONCE HE'LL CHEAT AGAIN. YOU SHOULD WATCH THE OTHER WOMAN : ) IT RELATES
I'M SEEING A LOT OF SHIT COMMENTS ABOUT "TRUE LOVE CAN OVERCOME ALL WRONGS" WELL TRUE LOVE DOESNT STICK HIS DICK IN ANOTHER WOMAN. If you do decide to marry him, mahn you must be desperate or truly love and trust him. Don't be desperate .
I see him as a cheater cos u said 3yrs plus n he cudnt keep himself to u alone then what do u think dat will happen when u marry him pls leave him ASAP
My dear, there are very good answers here. Go with Mommy. If you didnt find out he wouldnt have said it till later....much later. Abeg cancel oooo. Life is too short my sister for too much wahala. As my mom says "shine ya eyes well" in marriage case. PRAY too.
Hmmm I'm reading the comments saying stay and shaking my head. Girl There's no question here except to if not cancel it postpone it (you can postpone to save face and later cancel it) You can forgive him and let him go. He's not really your man, his first born was conceived while you were busy conceiving your lifetime plans with him. Ask yourself this, if you marry him after he had unprotected sex while you were courting, what will you do when he cheats again once you're married? You won't have a leg to stand on!
Stupid answer Having unprotected sex with some random woman in Africa is not a 'Factor' to be conquered What if he brought her HIV or Aids? she needs to run while she still has her youth and health
Gbam It's definitely not an easy decision to make but bear in mind if you decide to stay you've co signed his behavior and will never have a leg to stand on when he does it again and again Imagine using Condom with your husband while every Random gets that good stuff raw?
Stupid What better sign can God give her? Than a pregnant bish on the side? I swear people can be beyond dumb!!! You ignore all these signs and bother god for more signs
Whether she's telling her to break them up or just to help her make an informed decision the outcome is the same. You can't plan a future with a man who has divided loyalties
I'm so ashamed of the majority of the response in this blog. How will a man ever treat you with respect when you can't hold yourself to a higher standard. I can't believe the women saying she should marry the guy because it's obvious the other lady is trying to trap him with a baby....Really! Like the fact that he cheated on you has nothing to do with it. If you cheated on him and got pregnant for another man will he still marry you? Maybe the answer to that question should determine your actions. It's not like he confessed or something, if the lady in question dint message you you will still be in the dark. Now he is sorry that you know about it. For the lady to even message you shows that now your life would be ruled by major baby mama drama....if a lying, cheating, non-protection wearing, semen spraying boy is what you deserve then go ahead perhaps your poor self esteem and his lying ass would be a great match. If your think you deserve better than stand up for better. You won't be the first person to cancel a wedding for a just cause. Your mum is just being selfish and wants to save face. Do right by yourself.
Hello dear, my take is, God has given u a second chance.... use it n run, u dated for 3 n half yrs n she's to put to bed october meanin they had sex last yr... 1st he cheated on u, 2nd he didn't tell u, nt just bou d cheating, bur bou the baby too.... that guy cn kill u. He has no balls. Or better still postpone dis wedding for now, till u make up you mind
This is really though my dear, mine is even tougher because they were two that was pregnant for him at the same time, and he already has a baby which am trying to deal with before these other ones came though one of them is the babe mama, the other aborted her`s and babe mama had a miscarriage. Funny enough baby mama stays in his father`s house alone with the babe, that has been my biggest problem because he has refused to send her away, yet he wants to marry me. That we should get married and then she will leave on her own, that he cant send her away because of the baby. Well if there is no sin there will be no forgiveness, I have forgiving him and we are still together my parents still want us to go ahead with the marriage but I have stopped every preparations for the marriage because I know I can't marry him. So my dear its up to u, take ur decisions forget about what your people are saying if u know u can take all his excesses, its ur choice.
your man is a cheat! If you marry him now do not be surprised if he continues cheating throughout your marriage. If he truly loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you he would not have gone out and broken your heart like this. Cancel that wedding for your own good.
My candid advice for is to go ahead with the wedding.some girls are so desparate that are ready to do anthing to get any man.pls don't make mistake cos if you guyz are already married before you find out, sure you won't because of that file for divorce.
Please don't go on with this marriage! A beg of you....A similar thing happened to me, although I am still in the marriage, it' still the biggest mistake of my life. I truly wished I left him, my heart still pleads and I hate myself for agreeing to stay back and not walk away. All your friends and family will not be there after the wedding when the real hurt sets in. Please take my words a walk away while you can. You deserve better!
Sweetie, I'll advice u put d marriage on hold for now. Some ladies can be very desperate to d extent of anything even a life. Am sure u don't want to start ur marriage with regrets. Ur life and happiness is worth more than anything. Just put it on hold and see how things unfold. Ma dear, if u need to move on, der is still a guy. Who will love u and cherish u. Love and cheat ve nothing in common.
My dear... Ignore all dese ppl telling u dat if u luv him blah blah.. In a marriage luv is important bt it is nt enuff.. If th guy luvd u.. He wldnt hv done Tht..ur own mother supports u.. So that shld b good enuff... Ur friends r witches.. They shld go nd marry a pig lyk that.. Nd don't worry about th baby mama.. Even if she takes him after u.. She has not one.. Because he is ur leftover... Nd he will surely do the same to her that he dd to u.. God has a plan for u.. Nd it is not to marry a slimy pig.. Hu doesn't knw hw to use a condom... There r all sorts of diseases out there... Don't sit down with anybody's family nd talk. Because his family will surely support him Nd beg u that he will not do again..... But hw can they b sure.. My dear..God allowed u to find out now just so u cn RUN for ur life
Great piece. But she could save herself the stress and start afresh. She is still single and should carry unnecessary and avoidable baggage into her future
I PITY YOU IF YOU MARRY THIS MAN AND YOU KNOW WHY HE DID NOT COME TO TELL YOU HIMSELF INSTEAD THE GIRL WHO IS USELESS CAME TO INFORM YOU IN A SARCASTICALLY USELESS MANNER OF HER WICKEDNESS AND YOU ARE FOOLISHLY GOING AHEAD TO MARRY A CHEAT I PITY YOU. HE WAS PLAYING AWAY MATCH WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP HIT YEAR 3 YOU SEE AM RUN FASTER THAN USAIN BOLT AWAY FROM HIM HE IS ONLY TRYING TO SAVE HIS SHAME AND NOT COS HE IS REMORSEFUL. I PITY YOU IF YOU GO AHEAD AND MARRY THIS GOOD FOR NOTHING MAN TUFIA.
August 3, 2014 at 8:40 PM AND WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING WITH THAT STINKING RAT NO OFFENSE HOPE NO TAKEN AS I WONDER WHEN WE WOMEN WOULD EVER LEARN I GUESS WE ALWAYS LIKE LEARNING THE HARRRRRRRRD WAY.
August 3, 2014 at 8:06 PM THAK YOU VERY MUCH INFACT I AM DISSAPPIONTED AT SOME OF THE USELESS ANSWERS THAT SOME WOMEN HAVE GIVEN HERE TO FORGUVE THE RAT AND GO AHEAD I PITY THEM COS THEY HAVE NO SELF ESTEEM LEFT
IF THE POSTER WHO HAS THE DRAMA LIKE MAKE SHE GO MARRY THE USELESS MAN ALL IN THE NAME OF I WAN BE MRS SOMEBODY. WE CALL PEOPLE LIKE THA AWON RUTH ABA OKO KU. LATER, DO NOT COME BACK TO LIB AND COMPLAIN THAT HE IS CHEATING ON YOU AGAIN COS ONCE A CHEAT ALWAYS A CHEAT AND LET NO ONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE OR DECIVE YOU AS THIS YOUR FINANCE WOULD DO I PITY YOU IF YOU TRY AND MARRY THIS INGRATE NANSNENSE
It is even better because you have your Mum's support to waka.
Your female friends that are telling you not to, are not entering marriage with you. I have been married for 4 years, its amazing but its HARD WORK!! Everyone else will be alright, and enjoying themselves while you wallow in misery later.
This man has no respect for you that he could have easily given you an STD!!!! See as Ebola is spreading! Na so you fit get am too!!! Ridiculous!
It is even better because you have your Mum's support to waka.
Your female friends that are telling you not to, are not entering marriage with you. I have been married for 4 years, its amazing but its HARD WORK!! Everyone else will be alright, and enjoying themselves while you wallow in misery later.
This man has no respect for you that he could have easily given you an STD!!!! See as Ebola is spreading! Na so you fit get am too!!! Ridiculous!
My dear confused woman, please you should first examine yourself and find out where your personal faults and lapses are coming from and try to amend them. Because the pregnant girl, discovered your weaknesses and she take advantage of them.
Secondly, you should understand that the man in question is not meant for you, the woman who is pregnant for him is his God sent wife. Nothing comes by accident, before she get pregnant for him, it has already been writing that she will be his wife, if not so, it won't have be.
Thirdly, you should pray that God should give you your own man, and pray for him not to let you marry another woman's husband. And do not put asunder into what God has join together. And know you that marriage is not a Do or Die affair, even when you get married and things are not moving right way it should, you have the right to walk away. ... hanikomo1@yahoo.com
If you truly love him you should proceed with the wedding, if he has chosen you over another lady, you should trust him that it was a mistake, maybe you let some end loose too. Leaving your man cause of another lady means you are not ready to conquer any fallout in the relationship.
Bruno, I challenge you to tell the world if you are truly faithful with yourself not to talk of your spouse. I trust you don't understand the word move on and forgive. If you advice her to get a new man, how many go Waka come. It takes only the grace of GOD to get near perfect man, Just get one and make him what you want.
GOOD EVENING. I THINK IN MY OPINION, AS DIFFICULT AS IT MAY SOUND, I AGREE WITH THE MOTHER TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING. HE SHOULD GO AND SETTLE WITH THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD. GOD WILL GIVE YOU YOUR DIVINE HUSBAND. TAKE CARE. oumuze@yahoo.com
He didnt even tell u himself, and u think he is honourable to be ur husband? So assuming u didnt find out, it would have been under the carpet. Remember that after confession comes repentance. D guy never confessed after his act until it was found out. So my dear, there is no repentance! Move on!
He didnt even tell u himself, and u think he is honourable to be ur husband? So assuming u didnt find out, it would have been under the carpet. Remember that after confession comes repentance. D guy never confessed after his act until it was found out. So my dear, there is no repentance! Move on!
Shame on you all that her telling her not to cancel the wedding. I now see why some men feel it's their birthright to disrespect women. This is because we excuse their nonsense behaviour. Stop excusing cheating men. Real men do not cheat. They discipline and respect themselves. Forgive the cheat but please move on. You have to realise that he cheated on you and kept a vital piece of information from you. I will advise you to fall on your knees and praise God for His timely deliverance. Run from this man because if you marry him your tears will not end. There are good men; pray and wait on God and you will find your own. Women respect yourselves, realise your worth. Know that you are precious and deserve to be treated as such. #Miss Bee
My dear, am speaking from experience, pls cancel it even if u love him. God will def giv u anoda. Thank God u found out b4 saying I DO, it's a sign abeg. Listen ur marriage can never EVER be the same, it's too much a load to carry esp as a starter. He is forming beg now but believe me once u get married, u Wud b suprised at d beast in him. I beg u in God's name listen to ur mom. God never leaves his own and in ur case, he would compensate u with the best. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed not endured. Pls QUIT....am talking from experience ooooo!
Well....u just outlined who everyoda person wants u 2 do....u should realise though dat u re d one 2 spend d rest of us life wiv him...I suggest u settle down nd think about the issue serzly. Love is forgiveness. It's a good tin u found out b4 d wedding...wich gives u enough time 2 ponder. but woteva decision u take shld b based on wot u want nd nt wot ur mum nd frnds want..it shld b based on d fact d@ u actually forgive and can trust dis guy again. Wish u d very best
Mind you that the woman might be pregnant from constant visitation. If he just had a fling yes I wouldn't bother but there's a child coming strong,. Please listen to your mum. This foundation is faulty. How will you enjoy your honeymoon? You might get paranoid when you are married and the moment he leaves the house you start to think he's gone to cheat lastly , if you love him & know his nature, character & of he is a kind man please dear marry him. Men make mistakes. I saw a situation when I was little , a man impregnated a lady but still went ahead to marry his love. They arranged that baby mama drops the precious baby off. Madam was the one communicating with baby mama on ogas behalf. Too much work but of you love him it's worth it.
My dear,jus run far away from him as far as ur legs can carry u,lets b realistic,hw will u b feeling during d wedding ceremony n throughout, ve u ever tot d so called ' baby mama' will be calling him n also remember him to will want 2 c his child re u really ready for dat.if u re ready for the trunma n d drama u go on buh if u re not my dear stay clear it's even better it happen nw,don't forget d girl even call 2 tell u,y she won't b ready 2 pull down everything u ve built.
It is a very simply matter.Just ask yourself these questions and satisfy your conscience. 1. Did he tell you about his relationship with this other woman? If he did, did he mention she might be pregnant? If he did, she hasn't given birth yet, so i guess we can say he was screwing her or he screwed her with you in the picture.
2. At the long long, ask your self, can i deal with a cheat? Cuz once a cheat....you know what they say. If you can look him in the eyes after everything he has done, and is going to do, Please my dear, go ahead and invite me to your wedding.
3. Ask yourself can i deal with another woman's wahala! cuz i think she does have wahala.... for her to contact you on facebook knowing fully well you are set out for marriage!..... Please marry if you can.
At the long run, life is about the choices we make. There is always an aspect of life that goes left of the center, if yours is cheating and you can deal with it, pls get married, if you can't walk out now!!!
Dear, Please leave the scoundrel. if he could be unfaithful by keeping a side chick, he will still continue. He is not your perfect will. there are still responsible men out there with good morals and not this yeye man. If you go ahead, you will live to regret the remaining days of your life. Listen to your mother. That may not be the only baby mama check closely there are still others he maybe parading to you as cousins or distant relations. If you are loaded financially or if your star is shining that is what he is after to advance his career in life dont allow that please.
do not cancel ur wedding...my big bro had same incidence less than five years ago,he told the would be wife all that transpired just like you...sure it was difficult for her to bear and swallow,we all stood by and gave her our support....they are married today with 3 great kids living in UK too.then to the other lady,we didnt abandon her either,we encouraged her too and understand the pains.she had baby,we see the baby every other time...he is our own.my sis inlaw is amazing.she took the baby in and sees him as the husband first child.my dear is ur husband honest?if so go ahead and marry him.my own big is honest and still is. stan...
Why should she conquer this factor? To save face? Shouldn't she consider other major factors? Like Cheat, lies, deciet? How would he have felt watching her walk down the aile with her white/ivory dress in the arms of her father, handing him over to her with tears in both parties eyes with trust, but him knowing in his heart that he has kept such a huge secret from her. One that concerns her very much. He broke her trust by cheating. He broke her by keeping it from her.
Dear poster, I am not exactly in a position to tell you what to do. But an unfaithful man is a lot to deal with. Then one that conceals very important things will cause you pains that will grow into bitterness and hate. Pray to God and cut communication with him until you are SURE of what you want. Put sentiments aside and picture you life with him in the next 10years. I wish you well.
Dear, the idiot knows he was getting married before he went to impregnate someone. Do you want to hear, he will do many more in marriage. It then depends on you if that is the type of life you want. It means you cannot have him 100% right from day 1. It will be an enduring marriage. Kick him out.
Please go with your mum's advice. I know it hurts big time because you are already emotionally involved with him but a broken engagement is always better than a broken marriage. What assures you that a man who was in a relationship with you and did not respect it will respect it when you get married to him. You will not regret going with your mother on this, I assure you.
I tire. For me the most unforgivable sin is dat he fucked another woman without condom. Wat does dat tell u? It tells me u hv oke mkpi as a fiance wud hv mk pi raised to peer 10 as a husband.
Omo! leave love for now, If that man loved you, he wouldn't be putting his junk in another woman's business. IF you MUST go through with your marriage plans be sure that more women will contribute children, Hope you're ready to be mother of the nation.
I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR SHOES BEFORE. FIGHT FOR YOUR MAN AND PRAY. ALL MEN CHEAT DARLING GET USE TO IT. DOES HE HIT YOU? DOES HE DISRESPECT YOU? IF NO THEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 90 PERCENT OF US HAVE STEP BROTHERS AND SISTERS SO YOU WONT BE THE FIRST. FORGIVE HIM AND DONT LET THE DEVIL WIN. ENJOY YOUR WEDDING
i personally think u shld be very tactical about issue, you alone can tell if his man in question is in luv with u and u in luv with him, if so then i think u should let him go so he can start a family with the woman he go pregnant cos for the sake of the unborn child maybe he can then get used to the lady who took in foe him
i personally think u shld be very tactical about issue, you alone can tell if his man in question is in luv with u and u in luv with him, if so then i think u should let him go so he can start a family with the woman he go pregnant cos for the sake of the unborn child maybe he can then get used to the lady who took in foe him
Cancel!!! the marriage is already over before it began. ironically that is a good thing. If you forgive him, he will continue to cheat on you. Plus, the baby is already coming. tut tut tut. these men-hoes ain't loyal!
1) Get tested! the fool didnt even consider you when he was having unsafe sex. 2) Cancel the wedding! he is not worth 50 years+ of your life. Unless you are okay to divorce him later. 3) Money invested in the planning. Well, just have a 'thanksgiving for getting lucky' party.
Wow. It is hard sweetheart, trust me i know. Especially when u love and trust someone so much. Situations like these are never easy. But i'll tell u this, forever is too long to be unhappy. Cancel that wedding, if he didn't respect you before the marriage, he won't after the marriage.
Love is not supposed to hurt, if it hurts then is not love.
forget him, he cheated not only did he cheat he was too careless to get d lady pregnant, if u marry him d tendency of him cheating is high, u ll have that,the baby mama drama,and risk of getting an std tru him to deal with for the rest of ur life wit him. u can forgive bt u wont forget,its really not fun having to love a man u dnt trust. any little tin jst brings d whole memory. and to make matters aorse he dnt intend telling you,if not for d lady u wuld v been in d dark. forget his sorry ass.
some pple will say it has happened to sum1 b4 nd dey r now happy 2geda. hmmm, thats what they see, do they really knw what happens behind closed doors? most pple endure their marriage. dntletb dose examples mislead u.
Its bad that he kept it away from you all these while and as much as cancelling d wedding looks like the best option, there are things you should ask urself and answer sincerely. Those answers will guide you to a decision. 1. Can you comfortably forgive this man and never allow this affect you in future? 2. Can you cope with any hassles that might come up with this news both now and in future? Do you love this man enough to swallow this? Can you trust this guy even after this? Does he really truly love you? Those will determine your next step.
please listen to Mom. Maybe he and the lady planned to disrupt your happiness by indirectly leaking the pregnancy news now....this will become the norm after you marry him. My guess is he has cold-feet, doesnt want to marry you.
THIS GIRL IS CLEARLY STUPID AND DESERVES TO BE WITH HIM. Your mum obvi knows best. U haven't even gotten married and see the hot mess and u are asking if to go ahead? LOL! U can't possibly be that stupid. Or maybe you are?
its your choice dear, if you love him and he loves you and remorseful and begs for your benevolence accept him. if not so forget him and dnt put yourself in stress
I have two things to say: 1. Remember, no one is above making a mistake. So, begin to practise the act of forgiveness, you're going to do a lot of it in marriage, whoever you marry. 2. Forget the girl, her motives are questionable. AYABA.
I have two things to say: 1. Remember, no one is above making a mistake. So, begin to practise the act of forgiveness, you're going to do a lot of it in marriage, whoever you marry. 2. Forget the girl, her motives are questionable. AYABA.
Everyone will have their advice but I think that what the girl intended for your harm by revealing the pregnancy has really saved you from a world of pain. 3 years is not a lifetime. It hurts. But move on. There is nothing to pray about. God does not permit fornication. God is not a God of confusion. You have not tied yourself in a marital oath. Instead pray for strength and a healed heart. Then leave.
Dear female LIB reader, A very unfortunate complication you have here and not a very easy one to deal with. My first advice to you is to be careful when reading peoples comments here on this blog. Only when a person has either walked through your shoes or has sat with you to fully understand the circumstances between you and your current fiancée would any be able to give the best advice. First thing to do is to check your faith in what you believe (GOD ALMIGHTY); by means of a meditational prayer and answer search. The next step is very important. Only communication solves issues and you must find it in you to give your fiancée a chance to sit down and explain the circumstances which led to this very unfortunate act. They may be a reason behind why he got this woman pregnant and its your duty to find out why and fully understand. Make sure you can tell when he may be fabricating a story just so you guys still end up marrying because it is also very possible that your fiancée may still be involved with this woman and others in fact; but still wants to marry you just to save face from the embarrassment of canceling such a big occasion. It is only after this 'deep' conversation with him will you find understanding and will be able to make the right decision to either marry him or not. May God bless and comfort you through this very difficult time. All the best.
R u 4 real....hw cn he av nothing to do with d babymama wen de r permanently linked by a child. # hiss. U tink say here na oyibo land wey affidavit de wrk
386 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 386 of 386Dear leave him , a broken relationship is better dan a broken marriage
Go ahead and marry this guy. At least he did not deny the pregnancy.
It has happend to my friend who got another girl pregnant while preparing for his wedding. They went ahead and got married while the other girl had his baby.
The wife has a son for him now and they are both happy
Cancel the wedding or u'll regret it later.ur fiance is a punk for lying to u
All this sort of problems are ''killing''.You will get married if he loves u,,forget d other pregnant lady,bt he may need ur support.
LIB Kritik.
My dear a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.
My dear a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage.
Suppose you had married him and then found out? What would you have done? Walk out of/Cancel the marriage?
This is an acid test for you. Can you forgive him?
The baby mama wants your wedding called off and that is why she made sure she contacted you. She is playing her cards well. Its up to you to give in to her schemes. I don't know what might have been your fiancés reasons for doing what he did. Listen to his reasons first. If he is asking for your forgiveness and its you he wants to marry, and you love him enough to forgive him, then go ahead and get married to him. You will be a good candidate for marriage. Marriage is all about love demonstrated by hurting and forgiving. Your mum is not necessarily right. I am a mum too. and I have married kids.
Follow ur heart dearie.Nobody can decide 4 u but u take a decision u don't end up regretting.U don't marry out of pity.D Lord is ur strength. 1st to comment
so painfull.i understand bt u can get anoda man just pray to God.i wont advise u to go against ur mum's advise.
Poster, since u havnt sent out invitation cards yet, they can edit d card na so they cn photoshop ur fiance''s mistres into the card make e kukuma marry una two
Since he hasn't pay her pride price u better go on with your wedding things, hadn't be he has married her I would have said no Coz the Bible said I made them male and female. Not male and females, carry on girl it doesn't change anything.
Babe, it is well bur u ve to take it easy. I fink u should sit him down for a thorough discussion.
My dear I'm as confused as you, 1st of all, how sure are you that his parents doesn't know about the lady pregnant for him that its not something arranged from home ie niaja. Its hard to do but easy to say but all same, my advice is that you leave him I mean cancel the wedding
Follow your ur hrt dear
First do not give much consideration to what people, family or friends would say because they will not be the one to marry him. What should matter is will you be happy with him or are you okay with it.
On a second thought what if the lady had not called you, that means he would not have opened up.
So my dear set emotions aside and think. If you know u can forgive him and let the wedding roll. Also if you know you didnt really trust him much and now this, pls let him go.
My dear betrayal hurts but u can get past it with God's help! Cancel the wedding, ask God for the grace, get out there make new frnds and start afresh. Goodluck
First do not give much consideration to what people, family or friends would say because they will not be the one to marry him. What should matter is will you be happy with him or are you okay with it.
On a second thought what if the lady had not called you, that means he would not have opened up.
So my dear set emotions aside and think. If you know u can forgive him and let the wedding roll. Also if you know you didnt really trust him much and now this, pls let him go.
i wont tell you what to do. But if its ME...i'll cancel and part ways with him, i cant deal with baby mama drama, and i wont marry some1 elses' man. No
Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee don't get married to him. Because you are in for more shocking surprises.
Please do not go ahead with the marriage.
dump him or he will cheat on you even after the marriage
Cancel abeg.....reasons best known to me. Similar thing happened to a friend,she went ahead with it. What she is goin thru now wt d man and his baby mama nor b small. And d hubby made soooo much promises to her before she agreed nt too. Those pple that are aware wont live with you. They will chop rice and meat and dts all. U will bear d sufferin alone. Yur mother is very right. Cancel plsssss
So you want to marry who cheated and not only cheated got someone pregnant and never told you, till the girl told you herself? How can you even trust a man like that? What is this nonsense about marriage? Marriage is not for everyone, stay single and happy till you meet the man that God created just for you alone. Anything other than that is going to be night mare. I know it hurts l, but trust me it will pass too, time heals all wounds. Let him go now.
Hello, sorry about your situation. Please see the brighter side of things which is that you found out before tying the knot. Follow your mums advice and end it
Postpone it for now and have a deep talk with your guy.
Who is the girl? Why didn't he tell you? What are his plans concerning the child?
Starting a marriage on infidelity and lies is really not a smart idea.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GO AHEAD AND MARRY A AN WHO YOU KNOW HAS NOT BEEN FAITHFUL TO YOU. WOMAN PLS CANCEL THE WEDDING AND YOUR PRINCE WILL COME. UNLESS YOUARE HAPPY WITH LIVING A MISERABLE LIFE. LISTEN TO YOUR MUM, MARRIAGE IS NOT BY FORCE. I ADVICE YOU TO GO READ A BOOK BY BIMBO ODUKOYA CALLED 165 QUESTIONS TO ASK WHEN PICKING A PARTNER. YU ARE WONDERFULLY MADE DONT SETTLE FOR LESS.
My dear, cancel d wedding!!!! Follow ur mom's advice which is wise. D man is a modafuc***er
So you are still asking questions when you have already seen the handwriting on the wall. He is unfaithful before marriage and hes going to be after marriage. I live in uk as well and know how this pricks called men behave. Pour him away like vegetable water. If you marry him he will continue to break your heart. Go out and be happy socialize and a good man will come sweep you off your feet. Bless
Awww too bad! God will help you babes! Awww speechless
U had beta cancel dat wedding ma dear..except u can 4giv him.everyone doesn't av a heart of Gold like Annie Idibia..it takes a whole lot to 4giv
Not calling off the wedding is emotional blackmail.Lucky u found out before the wedding invites were sent out. He doesn't deserve u, if he couldn't stay faithful he could at least have used protection. Yes its indeed painful but trust me ure a lot better off. He won't be able to look away from the baby when it comes, and there would always be dis other woman in ur face. Abeg waka far! He wants to eat his cake and have it. Chai!- Feyi
YOU FOOL! Your so-called husband to be has been playing behind your back and you are still confused? The other lady is even pregnant, something that he has not even denied. If I were you, I would cut my losses now, dump and move on with your life. This man has already shown you that he is not reliable, not loyal, not faithful and certainly not trustworthy. If you marry him, he is not going to change- he will only just carry on. Your mother is a fool for encouraging you to press ahead with your marriage- you should ask your mother how much money she has collected from this so-called husband to be
Follow your mummy's advice and cancel d wedding. cos if u still marry him u won't have a happy and settled home.
Why wouldn't you cancel,just be thanking God that you are not married to him yet,pls listen to your mum .may God console and be with you.
My dear don,t withdraw, go ahead for your man. The baby can not stop your marriage or the pregnant lady except the man don,t love you.
Hmmm....dis is one hard decision to make but then the mistake has been made already u both hav gone a long way just use the case of tuface n annie as example she went thru alot but nw shes happy with her man, if u decide to leave him bcuz of this mistake wat makes u tink the next person u gng for won't b worse? My dear go on with the wedding n accept it...
I suggest u dnt cancel d wedding only if ur convinced dat he loves u more,bt if ur nt sure abt his luv 4 u den let go cos u might regrt it
This one hard ooo! Pray abt it abeg.. #call me indigenous lib# v_okunola@yahoo.com
Save urself e trouble n cancel e damn wedding. men r traitors . save urself a lifetime of pain
Pls he can't eat his cake and have it. Cancel wedding.
Cancel the wedding... You will find a better man... Not a cheat and liar like him. Pray to God...
I can imagine how heart broken you are my dear. A man who cheats on you after been together for over 3years will continue to cheat even after marriage. To even think he goes down without CDs, pls run for your dear life before he infects you with HIV.
nobody can tell u wat to do, but if it were me I would not marry him.
Opt out now, he aint worth it darlyn. God just showed you want cloth he's made from. Go for a thanks giving in your church cos ur God is indeed alive
pls dnt get married to him unless u want to b unhappy 4 d rest of ur life
Pls cancel it joor. No time.......make u no go regret in the nearest future ooo. #word#
My dear listen 2 ur mum's advise.
Your man na original 2baba part2......hail him for me.
XDON D DON
Φkγ̲̣̣̥. O, pls pray weda to go on wit d wwedding or not. A̶̲̥̅♏ sure dis person is truth broda.
the best thing is to cancel d wedding.how sure are u dat he will be faithful if u marry u.and dont forget he is expecting a child.dis is not seasonal film dat are fictions.
Wa oo indeed Men are nt trusted since d wedding invitation card is nt yet out.. it nt too late to cancel d wedding
My dear cancel d wedding...he is a mad man...mitcheeeeew.
If the man chooses to marry you instead of the already pregnant lady then go ahead n marry him on a condition that he will never bring the woman to your marital home,except the unborn child when born.
B you better cancel it. Its difficult yeah, but you've got to do what you've got to do. When did he plan to tell you about this ish? After the wedding when you won't have a choice but to stay with him? For crying out loud he's kept this from you for 6months! I wonder what else he's keeping from you. #NuffSaid
Cancel the wedding jor.
I advice you should not cancel d marriage since he told u d truth.. Just go ahead as planned...
.. .we use human heads to make powder for young ladies in search of husband and big contracts-- Native doctor Confessed ..Click to Read
Yea cancel love, he's not ur husband, God will surely give u ur own husband
Sincerely listen to your mum, he's not faithful 4 not telling you too hmm he can even marry d gal without u knowing. That really dangerous, its shows he's not trustworthy at all. He can even kill or put u in trouble. Just pray about it n hear frm God, tell a true man of God to councel u properly.
Mother knows best. Listen to your mum and trust God. You will find someone else. That would be a terrible marriage. What this proves is that you have no idea who ur marrying cos he didnt even plan on telling you. Your life will be hell if u marry that type of guy.
God punish devil. Men will not seize to amaze me. My dear, ask God to direct ur path cos if am to advice u will tell u to call it off. There is no joy in marrying someone u can't trust, heartless man n a man with no integrity. Only God knows what he will do to u if u later marry him. Let's always pray for a man with de fear of God not only a man that is loaded with cash n material things. Shalom!
My advise is that you should keep praying and looking up to your real man, it will come some day, some time. And know you, that every disappointment is a blessing. But don't try to put asunder to what God has joined together. The man is not meant for you..... hanikomo1@yahoo.com
I realy sympathise with you dear lady. My own little advice to you, is to cancel the wedding because a man that can do that to you before marriage will definitely do more than that when married. And thank God your mom is in support of cancelling, listen to her dear because parents know a great deal about this things. Don't listen to your friends cos they will laugh at you at the end and that's if they are not doing it already! Be strong girl,your real man will come. *Rayo Estelle Deckson*
Pls my dear sister if you re a christian, go and seek the face of God to lead you what to do, bcos he's the only one who know what will happen in future and he's the only one that can tell exactly how it'll be, listen to human advice can be good or bad, so pls becareful
Pls cancel the wedding n move on with ur life.
It depends on the lady. If she thinks she can cope or share her man with another man,she can go on but if she can't, I strongly advice her to face the shame now and save herself from future bullshits...Be wise lady, think deeply!!
If Annie Idibia cab survive it, u also can. If u love him,go ahead wiv marriage,bt set rules.
***Yeancah***
My dear , d choice is yours, if u can bear d heat of having a mate u can proceed.
Cancel ke? Don't even tink of dat. U re going 2 b wife & mean legerly but she? Babay mama dat's 4 her so, b wise dear.
Dear LIB reader, same thing happened2me last year.just before our intro ceremony hecame clean dat a lady he had a fling with d previous year, jus called him dat she was 8months preggy4him but he didnt av d boldness2tell me until she had his boi n his family members insisted he told me n not deceive me into marriage.2say I was heartbroken is putting It mildly, I almost ran mad cos I had jus lost our child few months b4.long story short we re married now, he begged.his entire family begged, n my mum n a bestfriends mum both told me2go ahead.all my friends male n female told me2follow my heart n b happy.den I realized after hearing 4rm both sides dat she wanted 2b his wife at all cost,after telling her he had a fiancee, she kept d child, so I cudnt av allowed her win.trust me it wud take a lot for you to trust him again but if hes sincere he wud earn d trust again.
YOU HAD BETTER LEAVE THAT MAN...LIAR AND TRAITOR, YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY..YOUR MOTHER KNOWS BEST, ITS BETTER TO BE OUT THAN IN, EVEN IF PEOPLE ARE SHOCKED YOU CALLED IT OFF, ITS BETTER NOW THAN LATER. I CALLED OFF A 6 YR OLD RELATIONSHIP WHERE I HAD DONE INTRODUCTION SEF BUT THE GUY KEPT POSTPONING THE WEDDING DATE EVEN MY MARRIAGE COUNSELLING COURSE MATES HAD ALL MARRIED I WAS ASHAMED AND THOUGHT GOD WAS NOT ALIVE BUT HIS COMPENSATION FOR ME 3 YEARS AFTER IS STILL MY BIGGEST TESTIMONY...NOW I KNOW GOD DIDNT WANT ME THERE, I MARRIED MY BEST FRIEND AND HE WORSHIPS THE GROUND I WALK ON...BE WISE, GOD IS TELLING YOU SOMETHING...BY THE WAY, ITS 4 YEARS NOW AND MY EX IS NOT MARRIED...
my sister, i have two word for you, RUN FAST! listen to your mother, she knows what she is saying. don't worry God will bring another man, because if he can do this to you, before marriage, after marriage you are his already and he can do whatever he likes, how would you even feel watching him hold another child as his first born not yours? not even thinking about the baby mama drama, the male topic is just too broad to even get into, but just pick your slippers and run, run fast.
Call off the wedding
Don't marry him. He doesn't love you, is marrying you for the wrong reasons (probably for the fact you live in the UK and/or you're rich, and will most likely cheat on you again.
Wel, a man who could impregnate anoda woman while u wr engaged to him could do d same while u ar maried to him as well. So, think deep and do wat ur hrt says
Follow ur heart, the choice is urs to make but if it were me I would cancel ASAP because that's d beginning of trouble. And also if u don't mind sharing ur house with ur baby mama, den just go with it, well think wisely.
Omo see gobe ooo. If he still wants to marry the nigeria girl and u as a second wife...well if all depends on u. if u want to be a second wife go ahead but if u dont want follow ur mum.
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I feel your pain. And must say to write about it shows a step of courage.
From my experiences and those around me i can draw from to tell you what I honestly think...
1. Going ahead with a marriage is a decision only you can make.. and since you aren't in best state of mind for it. I'll advise you postpone the wedding.
2. A man who can impregnate a lady while dating you for 3 years and cannot summon the courage to tell you.. Under any circumstances even duress isn't capable to lead and love you. im not saying anyone is perfect but there are some deal breakers that can't be compromised in marriage.
2. If you are that kind of lady who wants her man for herself and family.. then you will forever feel that pang of 'I'm not the only woman'
Which will shatter your self esteem over time.
3. Friends will never live with you in your matrimonial home neither will your mother.. but she has known you long enough to know what she perceives the vision for your life is...mothers instincts are never hit and miss. Trust me if you decide to put the wedding on hold. Your mother will help you wield the support of others to see your point of view and they will not regret their input but praise your boldness.
4.while you are being praised for boldness get your life together so you don't wallow in self pity..braise yourself up. PRAY.CRY.PRAY...I believe that God will give you will get compensated with someone who will be faithful till you breathe your last. Cos every woman's creator designed that for her.
5. Salute him for his honesty.for not denying when you asked him cos many men will cover up just not to hurt you. And if you have thought of the following
A. If you can deal with a man that's not sexually faithful to you.
B.A man who can hide important information without the slightest hint
C. You check yourself and see that postponing/cancelling wedding is something you can will yourself to do..but the people factor is the real main issue.
If you think you honestly answer a No in a&b and yes in c. Please I beg you...walk away from all the plans.
I'm not saying it won't hurt, you won't cry but guess what...you can love again. I know the time spent is a lot but it is worth to leave. You will thank yourself everyday in your future.
ASK THE HOLY SPIRIT FOR DIRECTION.
My sister. This is very hard but what this has shown you is your fiancées unfaithfulness and the fact he didn't confess before the girl did is betrayal and he would have kept quiet. I would also like to point out how you have highlighted the wedding above the marriage which goes beyond that day. I too will be marrying in Oct and being the person I am marriage is not a do or die affair I would stop all plans and cancel till I have forgiven to move on with my life with or without him. You have to ask yourself if you can forgive him completely and accept your new step child and the mother as they will always be a part of your lives if you want to marry him. You are making your vow before God who requires you requires us to forgive (how can two walk unless they agree?) . It is not a pill most can swallow but you have to be honest and true to yourself. I think Mumsi is only worried that marriage may not come again as I am assuming you are not in the early part of your twenties so her fear is when you will settle especially seeing you have invested three years to this man and eventually have your own home and children. Sister delay is not denial. I would say get wedding insurance. Then you can postpone and recover some of the costs till you can figure this out because this will be a life long commitment. (and yes the insurance will pay you majority of what have lost. my close friend did and got the £15k out of the £25k she spent back) Then I would ask you to review your relationship. You know at times there are signs we over look because of love or even fear but our instincts were telling us otherwise. Look back and trace your steps to where you are now and then the next, 5-10 years, can you see happiness, faithfulness, your step child and your children playing together and and being one family? If you can't it's not a bad thing, you are being honest if you can it's not a noble thing either and u must not throw it back when things happen down the way. It is a choice for your life and of marriage. The cliché would be to say just pray and just pray. But prayer without works is dead, without evaluation is dead, without checking yourself and your soul is dead. Yes pray and stand before your maker regarding this but remember the spirit of God 'Emmanuel- God with us' dwells with you. You don't need laying on of hands or a man/woman of God to tell you anything God can guide you all by Himself. Deep down I know you know the answer. It's getting it to line up with your mind and heart and coming to the reality of speaking what is within outside. It is well with u my sister. Be true to thyself. Let that be your mantra and forgive either way so this will not hinder your future. God bless JJ
No man is faithful,yet some strive to maintain a level of dignity. U are going into d marriage eyes wide open. Thank God for the revelation now, then search your soul and make ur decision,bcos only u can know where the shoe pinches and only u will live with your decision. My candid advice is ......cancel the marriage. He is not an honorable man to insist u carry on with the wedding while another woman is carrying his child. Again if he was honest with you,he would have been the one to tell you he had an affair or mistake or whatever he chooses to call it. Down the road he will display more dishonorable acts that will leave you heartbroken. Listen to your mother...value urself and a valuable man will come ur way. This baby is already existing and by all standards will continue to exist as his first child. May God direct you. Linda pls publish this..she needs to hear the facts.
Maybe he was calling u side chick to other ladies
My dear, I want to advise you marriage is a thing of life time n during counselling dey say a persons current character will become worse 10times .firstly he didnt tell you abt the pregnant lady until dhe contact ed you via Facebook. That guy is not serious minded, I hv seen cases as such and that he guys actually told d lady from the very first day of the pregnancy.
I advised you follow ur mums advice and walk away it is better for you.look at 2face evn though another woman gave birth for him soon after his wedding annie wS carried along from the beginning that shows respect.i hv seen so many engagement cancelled. U ll nt be d first or d last.MOVE ON
Thats really a tough one. A part of me wants to tell you to let it go, but another part of me wants to tell you to stay and see if she can work it through. Cuz three years no be joke at all. But dang! Na wa for guys sha.... God will direct you.
In my humble opinion I'd advice one if two things. Move the wedding and use the time to do your findings and if you're really up for it. It cancel because if six months ago he had sex with another woman, knocked her up,his it from you till you heard from her then you should imaginewhat your marriage would be like. Deceit and cheating are a bad combo. If he came home one day crying and begging you and then told you himself,different story. That would have given you enough tune veggie October. So dear you should be happy you found out before the wedding
U beta cancel the damn wedding..........he's obviously not committed to u. Work on your relationship, u can always set anoda wedding date.
LISTEN TO ME. FORGET ABOUT YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND MAKE THE WISE DECISION. PEOPLE DONT CHANGE. IF HE CHEATED ONCE HE'LL CHEAT AGAIN, ITS NOT LIKE YOURE PREGNANT OR SOMETHING. GOD WILL PROVIDE SOMEONE BETTER. LOYAL.
Is the pregnancy not sign enough??
I loathe when people say a woman is tying a man down. Why didn't he strap up too?he tied himself in by by going bare. Stop that crap talk pls
IF HE CHEATED ONCE HE'LL CHEAT AGAIN. BE WISE. THIS HAS HAPPENED TO TOO MANY WOMEN. YOU KNOW HOW ITS WORSE FOR THEM? BECAUSE THEY'RE ALREADY MARRIED. HE FUCKED THE WOMAN. IT WASN'T A MISTAKE.
Pray for a sign? What other sign? Boyfriend of 3 years got someone pregnant and she should pray for a sign.
My dear, ask yourself if you can ever trust him again. Do you want to marry him cos you love him and have forgiven him or is it because you want to save face?
ZZ
HE KNEW WHEN HIS DICK WENT INTO HER AND DIDN'T TELL YOU. I DONT KNOW EITHER OF YOU, IM NOT JUDGING HIM, I'M JUST SAYING IF HE CHEATED ONCE HE'LL CHEAT AGAIN. YOU SHOULD WATCH THE OTHER WOMAN : ) IT RELATES
IF HE CHEATED ONCE HE'LL CHEAT AGAIN.
IF HE CHEATED ONCE HE'LL CHEAT AGAIN.
I'M SEEING A LOT OF SHIT COMMENTS ABOUT "TRUE LOVE CAN OVERCOME ALL WRONGS" WELL TRUE LOVE DOESNT STICK HIS DICK IN ANOTHER WOMAN. If you do decide to marry him, mahn you must be desperate or truly love and trust him. Don't be desperate .
IF HE CHEATED ONCE, HE'LL DO IT AGAIN. If you do decide to marry him, mahn you must be desperate or truly love and trust him. Don't be desperate .
I see him as a cheater cos u said 3yrs plus n he cudnt keep himself to u alone then what do u think dat will happen when u marry him pls leave him ASAP
If it happens again , then go look for the guy you offended , because that will certainly be where your problems are coming from
Choi. Dis Englishes we are shearing, Diaris Godu oooo
Yes I is a good womens, lolllzzzzz
My dear, there are very good answers here. Go with Mommy. If you didnt find out he wouldnt have said it till later....much later. Abeg cancel oooo. Life is too short my sister for too much wahala. As my mom says "shine ya eyes well" in marriage case. PRAY too.
Hmmm I'm reading the comments saying stay and shaking my head.
Girl
There's no question here except to if not cancel it postpone it (you can postpone to save face and later cancel it)
You can forgive him and let him go. He's not really your man, his first born was conceived while you were busy conceiving your lifetime plans with him.
Ask yourself this, if you marry him after he had unprotected sex while you were courting, what will you do when he cheats again once you're married? You won't have a leg to stand on!
That is the best thing I have heard in a long time.
Stupid answer
Having unprotected sex with some random woman in Africa is not a
'Factor' to be conquered
What if he brought her HIV or Aids? she needs to run while she still has her youth and health
Gbam
It's definitely not an easy decision to make but bear in mind if you decide to stay you've co signed his behavior and will never have a leg to stand on when he does it again and again
Imagine using Condom with your husband while every Random gets that good stuff raw?
GBAM Bonario for real you got some good sense.
Technically she's breaking up a family by marrying a man who has shown you where his commitment lies
Stupid
What better sign can God give her? Than a pregnant bish on the side?
I swear people can be beyond dumb!!! You ignore all these signs and bother god for more signs
Whether she's telling her to break them up or just to help her make an informed decision the outcome is the same. You can't plan a future with a man who has divided loyalties
I'm so ashamed of the majority of the response in this blog. How will a man ever treat you with respect when you can't hold yourself to a higher standard. I can't believe the women saying she should marry the guy because it's obvious the other lady is trying to trap him with a baby....Really! Like the fact that he cheated on you has nothing to do with it. If you cheated on him and got pregnant for another man will he still marry you? Maybe the answer to that question should determine your actions. It's not like he confessed or something, if the lady in question dint message you you will still be in the dark. Now he is sorry that you know about it. For the lady to even message you shows that now your life would be ruled by major baby mama drama....if a lying, cheating, non-protection wearing, semen spraying boy is what you deserve then go ahead perhaps your poor self esteem and his lying ass would be a great match. If your think you deserve better than stand up for better. You won't be the first person to cancel a wedding for a just cause. Your mum is just being selfish and wants to save face. Do right by yourself.
I wonder why people comment the way they did.
1. It was not him that confessed voluntarily
2. It was not him that informed you prior.
3. He never had an intention to tell you.
If you marry him - you will not trust him.
You will NOT marry him if you have any form of self confidence or identity.
My thoughts.
Hello dear, my take is, God has given u a second chance.... use it n run, u dated for 3 n half yrs n she's to put to bed october meanin they had sex last yr... 1st he cheated on u, 2nd he didn't tell u, nt just bou d cheating, bur bou the baby too.... that guy cn kill u. He has no balls. Or better still postpone dis wedding for now, till u make up you mind
My dear it's official, you're retarded.
This is really though my dear, mine is even tougher because they were two that was pregnant for him at the same time, and he already has a baby which am trying to deal with before these other ones came though one of them is the babe mama, the other aborted her`s and babe mama had a miscarriage. Funny enough baby mama stays in his father`s house alone with the babe, that has been my biggest problem because he has refused to send her away, yet he wants to marry me. That we should get married and then she will leave on her own, that he cant send her away because of the baby. Well if there is no sin there will be no forgiveness, I have forgiving him and we are still together my parents still want us to go ahead with the marriage but I have stopped every preparations for the marriage because I know I can't marry him. So my dear its up to u, take ur decisions forget about what your people are saying if u know u can take all his excesses, its ur choice.
Listen to Ųя̩̥̊ mum
Best advice so far
your man is a cheat! If you marry him now do not be surprised if he continues cheating throughout your marriage. If he truly loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you he would not have gone out and broken your heart like this. Cancel that wedding for your own good.
So wetin be ur advice finally mumu. which side u dey? Eberibe
My candid advice for is to go ahead with the wedding.some girls are so desparate that are ready to do anthing to get any man.pls don't make mistake cos if you guyz are already married before you find out, sure you won't because of that file for divorce.
Please don't go on with this marriage! A beg of you....A similar thing happened to me, although I am still in the marriage, it' still the biggest mistake of my life. I truly wished I left him, my heart still pleads and I hate myself for agreeing to stay back and not walk away. All your friends and family will not be there after the wedding when the real hurt sets in. Please take my words a walk away while you can. You deserve better!
Sweetie, I'll advice u put d marriage on hold for now. Some ladies can be very desperate to d extent of anything even a life. Am sure u don't want to start ur marriage with regrets. Ur life and happiness is worth more than anything. Just put it on hold and see how things unfold. Ma dear, if u need to move on, der is still a guy. Who will love u and cherish u. Love and cheat ve nothing in common.
My dear... Ignore all dese ppl telling u dat if u luv him blah blah.. In a marriage luv is important bt it is nt enuff.. If th guy luvd u.. He wldnt hv done Tht..ur own mother supports u.. So that shld b good enuff... Ur friends r witches.. They shld go nd marry a pig lyk that.. Nd don't worry about th baby mama.. Even if she takes him after u.. She has not one.. Because he is ur leftover... Nd he will surely do the same to her that he dd to u.. God has a plan for u.. Nd it is not to marry a slimy pig.. Hu doesn't knw hw to use a condom... There r all sorts of diseases out there... Don't sit down with anybody's family nd talk. Because his family will surely support him Nd beg u that he will not do again..... But hw can they b sure.. My dear..God allowed u to find out now just so u cn RUN for ur life
Lol lol. Lol lol lol
my dear some men pregnant 2 or 3 girls n look for another women an marry. just pray 3yrs is not 3 days pls go on an married.
u knw nigeria ladies like somebody that come back 4 outside country instead the will find one thing to hold him down my dear marry ur man.
Guess you dont understand what marriage means . Does maturity displace hurts. She might be the first but she could take her stand.
Great piece. But she could save herself the stress and start afresh. She is still single and should carry unnecessary and avoidable baggage into her future
I PITY YOU IF YOU MARRY THIS MAN AND YOU KNOW WHY HE DID NOT COME TO TELL YOU HIMSELF INSTEAD THE GIRL WHO IS USELESS CAME TO INFORM YOU IN A SARCASTICALLY USELESS MANNER OF HER WICKEDNESS AND YOU ARE FOOLISHLY GOING AHEAD TO MARRY A CHEAT I PITY YOU. HE WAS PLAYING AWAY MATCH WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP HIT YEAR 3 YOU SEE AM RUN FASTER THAN USAIN BOLT AWAY FROM HIM HE IS ONLY TRYING TO SAVE HIS SHAME AND NOT COS HE IS REMORSEFUL. I PITY YOU IF YOU GO AHEAD AND MARRY THIS GOOD FOR NOTHING MAN TUFIA.
August 3, 2014 at 8:40 PM AND WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING WITH THAT STINKING RAT NO OFFENSE HOPE NO TAKEN AS I WONDER WHEN WE WOMEN WOULD EVER LEARN I GUESS WE ALWAYS LIKE LEARNING THE HARRRRRRRRD WAY.
Marriage is built on trust.
The foundation here is completely shaky. The trust is gone.
Sorry, even as a Christian I would say cancel the wedding.
Jesus loves all of you :)
Have a good day
August 3, 2014 at 8:06 PM THAK YOU VERY MUCH INFACT I AM DISSAPPIONTED AT SOME OF THE USELESS ANSWERS THAT SOME WOMEN HAVE GIVEN HERE TO FORGUVE THE RAT AND GO AHEAD I PITY THEM COS THEY HAVE NO SELF ESTEEM LEFT
IF THE POSTER WHO HAS THE DRAMA LIKE MAKE SHE GO MARRY THE USELESS MAN ALL IN THE NAME OF I WAN BE MRS SOMEBODY. WE CALL PEOPLE LIKE THA AWON RUTH ABA OKO KU. LATER, DO NOT COME BACK TO LIB AND COMPLAIN THAT HE IS CHEATING ON YOU AGAIN COS ONCE A CHEAT ALWAYS A CHEAT AND LET NO ONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE OR DECIVE YOU AS THIS YOUR FINANCE WOULD DO I PITY YOU IF YOU TRY AND MARRY THIS INGRATE NANSNENSE
It is even better because you have your Mum's support to waka.
Your female friends that are telling you not to, are not entering marriage with you. I have been married for 4 years, its amazing but its HARD WORK!! Everyone else will be alright, and enjoying themselves while you wallow in misery later.
This man has no respect for you that he could have easily given you an STD!!!! See as Ebola is spreading! Na so you fit get am too!!! Ridiculous!
It is even better because you have your Mum's support to waka.
Your female friends that are telling you not to, are not entering marriage with you. I have been married for 4 years, its amazing but its HARD WORK!! Everyone else will be alright, and enjoying themselves while you wallow in misery later.
This man has no respect for you that he could have easily given you an STD!!!! See as Ebola is spreading! Na so you fit get am too!!! Ridiculous!
There's a tendency the guy cheats when you guys marry, so it's advisable you leave him.
My dear confused woman, please you should first examine yourself and find out where your personal faults and lapses are coming from and try to amend them. Because the pregnant girl, discovered your weaknesses and she take advantage of them.
Secondly, you should understand that the man in question is not meant for you, the woman who is pregnant for him is his God sent wife. Nothing comes by accident, before she get pregnant for him, it has already been writing that she will be his wife, if not so, it won't have be.
Thirdly, you should pray that God should give you your own man, and pray for him not to let you marry another woman's husband. And do not put asunder into what God has join together. And know you that marriage is not a Do or Die affair, even when you get married and things are not moving right way it should, you have the right to walk away. ...
hanikomo1@yahoo.com
If you truly love him you should proceed with the wedding, if he has chosen you over another lady, you should trust him that it was a mistake, maybe you let some end loose too. Leaving your man cause of another lady means you are not ready to conquer any fallout in the relationship.
Bruno, I challenge you to tell the world if you are truly faithful with yourself not to talk of your spouse. I trust you don't understand the word move on and forgive. If you advice her to get a new man, how many go Waka come. It takes only the grace of GOD to get near perfect man, Just get one and make him what you want.
GOOD EVENING. I THINK IN MY OPINION, AS DIFFICULT AS IT MAY SOUND, I AGREE WITH THE MOTHER TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING. HE SHOULD GO AND SETTLE WITH THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD. GOD WILL GIVE YOU YOUR DIVINE HUSBAND. TAKE CARE. oumuze@yahoo.com
What if he leaves you when u are 6 months pregnant for another woman? #thinkingaloud
He didnt even tell u himself, and u think he is honourable to be ur husband? So assuming u didnt find out, it would have been under the carpet. Remember that after confession comes repentance. D guy never confessed after his act until it was found out. So my dear, there is no repentance! Move on!
He didnt even tell u himself, and u think he is honourable to be ur husband? So assuming u didnt find out, it would have been under the carpet. Remember that after confession comes repentance. D guy never confessed after his act until it was found out. So my dear, there is no repentance! Move on!
Take a walk now
Take a walk now
Shame on you all that her telling her not to cancel the wedding. I now see why some men feel it's their birthright to disrespect women. This is because we excuse their nonsense behaviour. Stop excusing cheating men. Real men do not cheat. They discipline and respect themselves. Forgive the cheat but please move on. You have to realise that he cheated on you and kept a vital piece of information from you. I will advise you to fall on your knees and praise God for His timely deliverance. Run from this man because if you marry him your tears will not end. There are good men; pray and wait on God and you will find your own. Women respect yourselves, realise your worth. Know that you are precious and deserve to be treated as such. #Miss Bee
My dear, am speaking from experience, pls cancel it even if u love him. God will def giv u anoda. Thank God u found out b4 saying I DO, it's a sign abeg. Listen ur marriage can never EVER be the same, it's too much a load to carry esp as a starter. He is forming beg now but believe me once u get married, u Wud b suprised at d beast in him. I beg u in God's name listen to ur mom. God never leaves his own and in ur case, he would compensate u with the best. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed not endured. Pls QUIT....am talking from experience ooooo!
Well....u just outlined who everyoda person wants u 2 do....u should realise though dat u re d one 2 spend d rest of us life wiv him...I suggest u settle down nd think about the issue serzly. Love is forgiveness. It's a good tin u found out b4 d wedding...wich gives u enough time 2 ponder. but woteva decision u take shld b based on wot u want nd nt wot ur mum nd frnds want..it shld b based on d fact d@ u actually forgive and can trust dis guy again. Wish u d very best
Wow Prince Charming I love your. Comment ! It's exactly what I will do if presented with such a dilemma .
Things must be defined.
Mind you that the woman might be pregnant from constant visitation. If he just had a fling yes I wouldn't bother but there's a child coming strong,. Please listen to your mum. This foundation is faulty. How will you enjoy your honeymoon? You might get paranoid when you are married and the moment he leaves the house you start to think he's gone to cheat lastly , if you love him & know his nature, character & of he is a kind man please dear marry him. Men make mistakes. I saw a situation when I was little , a man impregnated a lady but still went ahead to marry his love. They arranged that baby mama drops the precious baby off. Madam was the one communicating with baby mama on ogas behalf. Too much work but of you love him it's worth it.
For all you know you might have been the side chick.
r u kidding me..dump his ass,besides mama knows best..#patoswife
My dear,jus run far away from him as far as ur legs can carry u,lets b realistic,hw will u b feeling during d wedding ceremony n throughout, ve u ever tot d so called ' baby mama' will be calling him n also remember him to will want 2 c his child re u really ready for dat.if u re ready for the trunma n d drama u go on buh if u re not my dear stay clear it's even better it happen nw,don't forget d girl even call 2 tell u,y she won't b ready 2 pull down everything u ve built.
It is a very simply matter.Just ask yourself these questions and satisfy your conscience.
1. Did he tell you about his relationship with this other woman? If he did, did he mention she might be pregnant? If he did, she hasn't given birth yet, so i guess we can say he was screwing her or he screwed her with you in the picture.
2. At the long long, ask your self, can i deal with a cheat? Cuz once a cheat....you know what they say. If you can look him in the eyes after everything he has done, and is going to do, Please my dear, go ahead and invite me to your wedding.
3. Ask yourself can i deal with another woman's wahala! cuz i think she does have wahala.... for her to contact you on facebook knowing fully well you are set out for marriage!..... Please marry if you can.
At the long run, life is about the choices we make. There is always an aspect of life that goes left of the center, if yours is cheating and you can deal with it, pls get married, if you can't walk out now!!!
Dear, Please leave the scoundrel. if he could be unfaithful by keeping a side chick, he will still continue. He is not your perfect will. there are still responsible men out there with good morals and not this yeye man.
If you go ahead, you will live to regret the remaining days of your life. Listen to your mother. That may not be the only baby mama check closely there are still others he maybe parading to you as cousins or distant relations. If you are loaded financially or if your star is shining that is what he is after to advance his career in life dont allow that please.
You have to weigh your option if you can cope, and what your man intend to do with the woman.
best of luck
do not cancel ur wedding...my big bro had same incidence less than five years ago,he told the would be wife all that transpired just like you...sure it was difficult for her to bear and swallow,we all stood by and gave her our support....they are married today with 3 great kids living in UK too.then to the other lady,we didnt abandon her either,we encouraged her too and understand the pains.she had baby,we see the baby every other time...he is our own.my sis inlaw is amazing.she took the baby in and sees him as the husband first child.my dear is ur husband honest?if so go ahead and marry him.my own big is honest and still is.
stan...
call off the wedding girl! Except of course you are super duper sure God himself told you he is ur husband!
My thoughts exactly!
Why should she conquer this factor? To save face? Shouldn't she consider other major factors? Like Cheat, lies, deciet?
How would he have felt watching her walk down the aile with her white/ivory dress in the arms of her father, handing him over to her with tears in both parties eyes with trust, but him knowing in his heart that he has kept such a huge secret from her. One that concerns her very much.
He broke her trust by cheating.
He broke her by keeping it from her.
Dear poster,
I am not exactly in a position to tell you what to do. But an unfaithful man is a lot to deal with. Then one that conceals very important things will cause you pains that will grow into bitterness and hate.
Pray to God and cut communication with him until you are SURE of what you want.
Put sentiments aside and picture you life with him in the next 10years.
I wish you well.
Dear, the idiot knows he was getting married before he went to impregnate someone. Do you want to hear, he will do many more in marriage.
It then depends on you if that is the type of life you want. It means you cannot have him 100% right from day 1. It will be an enduring marriage. Kick him out.
call it off... he's not a honest guy... Ur man shuld b able to be transparent with u & tell d truth at all times..the good, bad & ugly things
I think you should put the wedding on hold and see if you can still trust him before setting a new date for the wedding.
Please go with your mum's advice. I know it hurts big time because you are already emotionally involved with him but a broken engagement is always better than a broken marriage. What assures you that a man who was in a relationship with you and did not respect it will respect it when you get married to him. You will not regret going with your mother on this, I assure you.
I tire. For me the most unforgivable sin is dat he fucked another woman without condom. Wat does dat tell u? It tells me u hv oke mkpi as a fiance wud hv mk pi raised to peer 10 as a husband.
Omo! leave love for now, If that man loved you, he wouldn't be putting his junk in another woman's business.
IF you MUST go through with your marriage plans be sure that more women will contribute children, Hope you're ready to be mother of the nation.
I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR SHOES BEFORE.
FIGHT FOR YOUR MAN AND PRAY. ALL MEN CHEAT DARLING GET USE TO IT.
DOES HE HIT YOU? DOES HE DISRESPECT YOU? IF NO THEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 90 PERCENT OF US HAVE STEP BROTHERS AND SISTERS SO YOU WONT BE THE FIRST. FORGIVE HIM AND DONT LET THE DEVIL WIN. ENJOY YOUR WEDDING
i personally think u shld be very tactical about issue, you alone can tell if his man in question is in luv with u and u in luv with him, if so then i think u should let him go so he can start a family with the woman he go pregnant cos for the sake of the unborn child maybe he can then get used to the lady who took in foe him
i personally think u shld be very tactical about issue, you alone can tell if his man in question is in luv with u and u in luv with him, if so then i think u should let him go so he can start a family with the woman he go pregnant cos for the sake of the unborn child maybe he can then get used to the lady who took in foe him
Cancel!!! the marriage is already over before it began. ironically that is a good thing.
If you forgive him, he will continue to cheat on you. Plus, the baby is already coming. tut tut tut. these men-hoes ain't loyal!
1) Get tested! the fool didnt even consider you when he was having unsafe sex.
2) Cancel the wedding! he is not worth 50 years+ of your life. Unless you are okay to divorce him later.
3) Money invested in the planning. Well, just have a 'thanksgiving for getting lucky' party.
Good luck!!
Wow. It is hard sweetheart, trust me i know. Especially when u love and trust someone so much. Situations like these are never easy. But i'll tell u this, forever is too long to be unhappy. Cancel that wedding, if he didn't respect you before the marriage, he won't after the marriage.
Love is not supposed to hurt, if it hurts then is not love.
Abeg post my comment .Linda
forget him, he cheated not only did he cheat he was too careless to get d lady pregnant, if u marry him d tendency of him cheating is high, u ll have that,the baby mama drama,and risk of getting an std tru him to deal with for the rest of ur life wit him. u can forgive bt u wont forget,its really not fun having to love a man u dnt trust. any little tin jst brings d whole memory. and to make matters aorse he dnt intend telling you,if not for d lady u wuld v been in d dark. forget his sorry ass.
some pple will say it has happened to sum1 b4 nd dey r now happy 2geda. hmmm, thats what they see, do they really knw what happens behind closed doors? most pple endure their marriage. dntletb dose examples mislead u.
Its bad that he kept it away from you all these while and as much as cancelling d wedding looks like the best option, there are things you should ask urself and answer sincerely. Those answers will guide you to a decision. 1. Can you comfortably forgive this man and never allow this affect you in future? 2. Can you cope with any hassles that might come up with this news both now and in future? Do you love this man enough to swallow this? Can you trust this guy even after this? Does he really truly love you? Those will determine your next step.
please listen to Mom. Maybe he and the lady planned to disrupt your happiness by indirectly leaking the pregnancy news now....this will become the norm after you marry him. My guess is he has cold-feet, doesnt want to marry you.
Geeeeezzz....
did people read before commenting??
Her mother WANTS her to MARRY him and opposite for friends.
LISTEN TO YOUR HEARt
Please follow ur mum advice. The man does not love u.
THIS GIRL IS CLEARLY STUPID AND DESERVES TO BE WITH HIM. Your mum obvi knows best. U haven't even gotten married and see the hot mess and u are asking if to go ahead? LOL! U can't possibly be that stupid. Or maybe you are?
Women sell themselves so short because of marriage
Why the fuck do you need a cheat in your life?
Please call it off. He's a useless man.
its your choice dear, if you love him and he loves you and remorseful and begs for your benevolence accept him. if not so forget him and dnt put yourself in stress
I have two things to say:
1. Remember, no one is above making a mistake. So, begin to practise the act of forgiveness, you're going to do a lot of it in marriage, whoever you marry.
2. Forget the girl, her motives are questionable.
AYABA.
I have two things to say:
1. Remember, no one is above making a mistake. So, begin to practise the act of forgiveness, you're going to do a lot of it in marriage, whoever you marry.
2. Forget the girl, her motives are questionable.
AYABA.
CANCEL IT!!! From a woman that is about to marry a man with a child, Don't make the mistake I'm about to make!!
Please.Just.Leave
Everyone will have their advice but I think that what the girl intended for your harm by revealing the pregnancy has really saved you from a world of pain. 3 years is not a lifetime. It hurts. But move on. There is nothing to pray about. God does not permit fornication. God is not a God of confusion. You have not tied yourself in a marital oath. Instead pray for strength and a healed heart. Then leave.
Dear female LIB reader,
A very unfortunate complication you have here and not a very easy one to deal with. My first advice to you is to be careful when reading peoples comments here on this blog. Only when a person has either walked through your shoes or has sat with you to fully understand the circumstances between you and your current fiancée would any be able to give the best advice.
First thing to do is to check your faith in what you believe (GOD ALMIGHTY); by means of a meditational prayer and answer search. The next step is very important. Only communication solves issues and you must find it in you to give your fiancée a chance to sit down and explain the circumstances which led to this very unfortunate act. They may be a reason behind why he got this woman pregnant and its your duty to find out why and fully understand. Make sure you can tell when he may be fabricating a story just so you guys still end up marrying because it is also very possible that your fiancée may still be involved with this woman and others in fact; but still wants to marry you just to save face from the embarrassment of canceling such a big occasion.
It is only after this 'deep' conversation with him will you find understanding and will be able to make the right decision to either marry him or not. May God bless and comfort you through this very difficult time. All the best.
R u 4 real....hw cn he av nothing to do with d babymama wen de r permanently linked by a child. # hiss. U tink say here na oyibo land wey affidavit de wrk
LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!!!!!!!
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