Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Dear LIB readers: Is it okay for a woman to propose to a man?

From a female LIB reader
Linda, Could you please ask your followers if they believe it is okay for a woman to propose to a man. The reason I am asking this is that today I and my cousin were watching the reality TV show Love and Hip Hop and one of the ladies on the show proposed to her love interest. My cousin then said ''she has no self respect''. I was rather shocked because my cousin is female and I did not expect this from her. My point is that, it is the 21st century. I do appreciate that not everyone and even some females do not believe in gender equality but I just want to understand why this is such a big deal.

273 comments:

1 – 200 of 273   Newer›   Newest»
Gemzy said...

I don't tink its ryt. And no.... Not because 〇ƒ self respect or anyfin 〇ƒ sort. Bt since ∂ guy is ∂ financier here, then u shud let him do it wen he knws he can afford evryfin dt comes wit it.

Anonymous said...

No Biggie .......

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Anonymous said...

It not possible

Anonymous said...

Hmmm.. Me I no fit but I know some gals go abt it in an indirect way sha :)

Anonymous said...

BORING!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't c any tin wrong wit a lady proposin 2her luv. I consider it as a bold step dat can tak d relationship 2next level or as well destory it bt it all depends on pson undastndin... I wuld luv 2hear "pls b father of ma unborn children" frm ma date... I'll b so excited..... My view plsssssss
Do hav a productive day
God bless u all.... (Gentleval)

Prodigie said...

It's a man's job to propose, while it's d lady's job to give him a reason to do that!

Anonymous said...

Its really not a big deal,but 4 our culture it not right and even biblical its not right cos d man is suppose 2 b d head and not d other way round

Anonymous said...

they can do it anywhere in d world but in AFRICA it is highly UNACCEPTABLE.

Adekunle Kazeem said...

Is a 2 way thing. She can and at the same time she mustn't. Everything is base on clear conviction if he is right for you or not.
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isaac osas said...

If a Girl is over 35yrs and dating a guy 4 over 5yrs & He refuses to propose.... Young Lady pls PROPOSE TO HIM..

Anonymous said...

Actually no big deal, just the manner of approach that matter, I asked my boyfriend out wen I culd no longer hold the feeling I hav for him and today we are engaged and our marriage is at the end of the year.it depends on the pple involved.we both happy togeda now and he keeps thanking me for coming out.No biggy

Cute G said...

Y not?Well its not a bad idea!its in dis part of d world dat we think men must always make d move.Makind d move as a Lady doesn't make U desperate!

adighiogu ezinwanne said...

How can she propose to a guy for marriage? Marriage is a contract which involves offer and acceptance. And the one making the offer should have the capacity to manage the available resources. She can only propose to marry him under one condition: she would take up all the 'Manly' responsibilities including finance in the course of the marriage.

$bouquola$ said...

I dnt Dere anyfn wrong wif it

don davido said...

Hell NO

Anonymous said...

Either twenty first century or not, its not a crime for a lady to propose to a guy.


Murch.

Kolawole taiye said...

Uhm there rili is nothing to it but in this part of the world folks stil got reservations abt a woman taking up "manly" roles, but hey change starts from an individual b4 d wind can finally sweep thru! So if u knw what u want and wana take that "gamble", then go for it but u'v got to be certain of the kind of guy u got sef,,

KayDiaries said...

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, u find your wife and propose not the other way round, its 21st century yes, buto go according to God's plan.

★★PRINCE CHARMING™★★ said...

Making a man aware of the fact that you like him even if he has not yet opened up to you yet is okay by me but proposing to a man that he should marry you is odd and very un-cultured, a man is always the head of the family and any union, its better it being that he requested that you marry him and it not being that you the woman asked for it, and then, you shouldn't go out of your way to force a man to wanna marry you, that has bad effect, if a man really feels you are wife material enough he wouldn't hesitate.

Martins Aboy said...

Yea its very much owkay too me;cos sometimes the girl keeps waiting for the guy to do it but it might not occur to him to do so..however once a girl proposes it shows some seriousness in the girl and it also means the girl realli loves and care about the guy in question...

Martins Aboy said...

Yea its very much owkay too me;cos sometimes the girl keeps waiting for the guy to do it but it might not occur to him to do so..however once a girl proposes it shows some seriousness in the girl and it also means the girl realli loves and care about the guy in question..soo "linda my luv";you can do soo to perry now.lol!! Love you more

chima said...

Yeah u are rite, hope u knw man propose, and d woman will either accept or not, bcs its Very clear dat is d woman dat marry d man. In western world dis is acceptsble, but in africa is not acceptable. Chima

Sheriff Sanni said...

Its ok. The most important tin thr is love. Ifthe guy shld love her 4 re then dey re gud to go

Dee said...

Actually, there's no crime in a woman proposing to a man as wat truly matters is that the love is mutual. Though your sister was totally wrong to hav attributed the proposal to a 'lack of self respect', gal it would be safer for you not to propose to a man. I (speaking for myself only, dunno about other men) may take advantage of her in the long run

Fakunle Michael said...

100%kk if there is LOVE.I don't see any thing wrong with that. It's well

Femi said...

Well I will tell u its not right for a woman to propose to a man no matter the century we are, its a fact of creation & that's how God has made it. Not putting spiritual sentiments, a man takes his time to check factors neccessary in choosing a life partner before proposing, on the other hand, a woman can say Yes or make the proposal just because of a feeling of lust or Love not confirming if the man feel same. Moreover, as a man I will tell u that men value what they pay for more than that which they got for free, unless you don't care how long your marriage atays for.Marriage is supposed to be a life long commitment.

Nsi.............Kan said...

Like its done in india...its owkay,only if shez ready to pay his GROOM-PRICE and fulfil all fatherly-responsibilities...

Anonymous said...

Right from the begining it has always been the men proposing, i don't think it appropraite for a woman to ask a man to marry her, it'll make her look so desperate.

Makinwa Sarah said...

Its no big deal but it has to be in private and kept btw u 2 cos of criticism. FTC

Anonymous said...

Its a big deal cos we wey dy propose 2 sef dy hear am, talk more of wen a woman proposes. Pls pls pls... Na she go pay d man bride price? Hian! Its absurd pls

•Dosh™• said...

Well, for now, the society sees it as a misnomer. I mean it's totally out of place for NOW.....written at least, until what is written in the book of Isaiah 4:1 comes into play.... who knows when.... lol

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B€£ said...

U can ask a guy out so u guys can start running relationship but it not ideal to propose to d guy.if u really treat d guy to ask out well he will propose to u himself,but if u propose to him even if he marry out of pity d marriage won't last.

Anonymous said...

LOL

Make-Up by Teju Tobun said...

The African Man's ego will surface in the Long run, if things go wrong,in this part of the World..pls let the Men do the proposing and the women, wait till he's ready...May God give us grace to wait and be patient.

Anonymous said...

i dont think there's something wrong about a lady proposing to a man. we are in a civilised world.

Mon Chocolate said...

What more can i say???? Ah still insist it z the Man's job to pop the question

Anonymous said...

Its a big deal in Africa bt I dnt see anyfing wrng in it.
My Opinion!


---Taemy---

BONARIO NNAGS said...

yes ofcourse,what a man can do.......

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

Anonymous said...

There is not big deal in it if a lady propose to a guy

Anonymous said...

U cn only propose in 9ja if u want 2 end up like "jennifer' Aka Funke Akindele had it coming.... A man that had 4kids and also impregnated another women when still married to you should not be considered as a husband but a gold digger, she might not be rich as he is but she had the fame and that's all he wanted " I slept with her and married her"... Its good they divorced.

Anonymous said...

HE who finds a wife, NOT SHE who finds a man

Anonymous said...

Itz a personal tin. Dependin on d angle u r lookin @ it frm. For sum itz ok for sum itz not.

Anonymous said...

Bt wait oh, watin Funke b expect, u marry som1 hubby wit 3 kids n u think dat other woman wil sit n fold her hands n watch u? She was on her knee

Anonymous said...

Bt wait oh, Funke y did u marry dat guy? Money him no get! He is a second hand man, nw he hs made u 2nd hand, hehehehe

ChuChu said...

Very wrong in dis part of d world. Becos the guy wuld b feeling too big n wuld neva cherish d woman

Immaculate said...

Linda good morning, am still waiting for the weavon I ask you about, concerning your question, it is not in our culture for a woman to propose to a man

Anonymous said...

Soon some1 wud ask Linda: is it okay 4us 2defeacate in d mornings?
Goan propose na let's learn frm ur mistakes! BTW, wud u gv hm an engagement ring in d process???
~D great anonymous!

Anonymous said...

Linda thrs nothing wrong with it, I proposed to my husby seven yrs ago nd we are still married nd hve 3lovly kids together nd still waxing strong. If you love the guy nd he is not married or never bn maarried why not? I know it s not in our culture but most guys don't really wanna settle down on time for some. Reasons but its better u know ur where u stand On time. It worked for me.

Anonymous said...

I believe a womans ability to propse depends on the personality of the woman, the man and the society...the norms in our society does not permit such things nd that is why I feel ur cuz had 2 say "she has not self respect", to them it might be completely normal. I feel its okay 2 do what makes one happy therfore, I would not blame d lady 4 proposing. Its beter to be certain than say "what if?"

Anonymous said...

If it is biblical that man MUST propose to a woman to marry him and not otherwise then we might try to deduce further in this premise. Personally, I see nothing wrong for a woman to initiate the proposal. The truth is that some men are guy to propose to women hence linger in confusion on how to go about it.

Shepherd said...

First off,Love and Hip-Hop is a bloody lame show...I don't know how they manage to get that much viewers.
Next up,I don't see nothing wrong with a 'her' proposing to a 'him'.Matter of fact,I know this pub somewhere in one of the Boroughs where women proposing is a norm.
All depends on how one wants to see it and of course,social/ethnic values too!

Anonymous said...

hu s marrying nd hu s being married? I tink dat should b d question.... Left 4 me it s nt ok.shikina

Charles Tams Tolofari said...

Like u sed, u were shocked at ur cousin. Lemme tell u why u were shocked... It cause that ur cousin no get sense... Na her type go be single mum @ 92...heheheh... Plus, na u pitch gender equality, women suppose propose frm that angle. But imagine sey ur pikin go propose give man, u no go kill am? If na ya mama, that one dey somhw romantic...hehehe, bt its a man's ideal to propose... na my own I still tok so...



Charlestol...

Anonymous said...

Its not ideal! Naturally, a man should find/discover a woman and not the other way...Adam was created before Eve nd he found Eve...smiling. There might be exceptional cases though...with the Most High, nothing shall be impossible

Anonymous said...

Gender equality indeed. My dear let the man do the talking even a dumb man will say 'will U marry me ' He takes U to the alter not the other way round.

Samuel said...

no biggy...

BEN said...

Not just proper to me.

Anthony Egwuche said...

Well its no bigi bt in d African society or most parts of African its a taboo. There re certain tinz westernization cannot change in Africa

e bonto said...

Naturally,d man proposes 2 d woman,and not d other way round. But this days,a lot of things happens,so their is nothing wrong if a woman propose 2 a man,though not in Public o.

Tedimola Olayinka said...

There has never, can never and will never be anything like gender equality. Let's not fool ourselves biko. Everyone has their place

Anonymous said...

Did your mother propose To your father? Stupid kids

jk said...

Aint a big deal*jesuskid*

Anonymous said...

We all know Jocelyn's a MAN and Stebbie's a RAT... LoL.
In the end, do what makes U happy. Asking a man to marry U is no different from pressuring him to do it. It's pretty much the same thing.

Anonymous said...

Some things can neva be changed!.. O yes is 21 century but some thing are beta left de way de are!.. Proposing to a man?.. Big No!.. But u can put up altitude dt suggest to him dt u really want to spend de rest of ur life wt him!..

phabdiva said...

There is nothing wrong wif a woman proposing to her man buh she sure as hell must make him buy. Her a ring dats worth the trouble. Sides women do it everyday tho not by goin on one knee and all. The lil things we do is a proposal in its. Own way

Anonymous said...

Sincerely,i value ladies dat could boldly express thierselves,rather than those dat die in pretence,this world is more advance....
So a lady proposing to a man is no big deal.

quinn said...

its bizzare for a woman to propose,criousli aw ll it look! Men take advantage of women wen dy re treated spcl,so i fink its beta nd ideal for a man to propose. Moreso that some men prefer wen dy work to get their woman!

Anonymous said...

Its a big No 4 mi cos men re fuckers!!! Fucking dickheadz

Anonymous said...

It's such a big deal bcous she would b treated lyk shit by d man nd how on earth can a woman ask a man 2 marry her itz nt _̅_̅̅_̅̅̅Ω̴̩̩̩̥‎kA̶̲̥̅̊Ɣ.

Anonymous said...

dere is no big deal 4 a female 2 propose 2 a male...mst male dnt av d confident nd vry shy 2 talk 2 a female...we ar two different individuals..@barbywinsom

Anonymous said...

U dey craze, which kain propose to ur man? O grl no fall our hand o! WTF

joan john said...

its not bad.....buh as Africans its d mans duty to propose not d lady

Oluphunmie said...

Its no big deal.... If she truly love the guy and she doesn't wanna lose him... She can make the first move by proposing to him....

Anonymous said...

Aint proper

Anonymous said...

Hey girl if u love him go for it life is chaingimg #1 to comment

Anonymous said...

I think it should be left the way it has been. But come to think of it,if it happens that way many girls wld have been married by now.lol. Or linda you wan propose to ur man yourself?hehehehe

Anonymous said...

Pls don't try dat, it is not our culture

dayo said...

In my opinion its nt ok hunnie...even d bible says d man is d head of d fam so he hs 2 b ready 2 carry d responsibilites,so wen u ask hm n he dsnt feel lyk he's ready 2 take on d responsibilites jst yet...dats kinda embarrasn so let hm ask wen he feels he's ready!

Anonymous said...

Yes a woman can propose especially if the relationship is getting overdue and the man isn't saying anything,this enables her know where she stands... Newly wedded bride, Toyin Aimakhu Johnson recently lost her cool on micro-blogging site, Twitter, when she replied critics, who queried the cost of her wedding.
“To all the people abusing us for the records,mysef and my adorable,  charming, world best husband did wat we can afford n pls to all my fans stop buying pirated copy so we can have enuf money for party nxt time.. I love u all and pls dnt insult my huge fan cos the LV cake was a gift from a fan which I reali apreciate..tnx to all my fans u guys rock my world,”  pregnant Toyin tweeted on Saturday morning. Lol Linda post my comment o.

Adebola said...

*smile* No big deal!!! Its a simple proof of maturity.it depends on d relationship/bond btw both parties.Yu can't jes meet som1 on d road or perhaps yur first meeting and propose NO!!!.Most Men takes it for granted buh I see those Men as "boys",they jes av to grow.

joe said...

Y nt..if dats wot will mk hour happy..1ot do we men tink we ar sef?..go baby 4 ur man after all we com 4 u gurls

Anonymous said...

Linda it is wrong!!!! The bible says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God. Not the other way, so until a man finds a woman then he proposes not a woman finding a man.

GbengaToye said...

Well, probably U 4got to state whether in Nigeria or d western world. This might not be a big deal over there but here in our Nigeria #tia, IT IS A NO NO no mata wot.

seno said...

Personally,it mite feel OK but as Africans,we have valued customs n traditions which guide d African people n as such it is unrespectable for a woman to propose first

Anonymous said...

You've gatta be Kidding me with this Dumb Question! Yes its 21st century but everywhere in the damn world,its unacceptable for a woman to propose to man..So Heck No its not okay,there's everything wrong with that..Now do us a favour,Don't ever bring up this kinda Dumb Question on here again..LIBers only entertain reasonable and Logical individual problems..Ps: Be ready for your insults because i trust LIBers,ℓ☺ℓ #okay bye

PRETTY GIRL

TWITS said...

Laffable! Linda, you and your LIBERs no go kiiiii me for dis blog. ROTFL!

Anonymous said...

well...its okay if the woman is comfortable with it...but as a man...I will kinda get cold feet if a woman asks me to marry her..#justsaying#...double standard u might say....but thats just how i feel about it...

Anonymous said...

My dear its no big deal @ all, if I'm in love with a guy nd wnt to stay in love wit him, I can propose. I mean his response is goin to be de big deal nt me asking.
Shasha

BLOGLORD said...

I do not think it is right.

let the man do the asking.



Anonymous said...

†ђε african culture says its d duty ☀̤̣̈̇f α̇̇̇̊ man τ̲̅ȍ propose,but personally, ¶ seee nufin wrong i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ α̇̇̇̊ woman making †ђε first move. †ђε approach matters though,proposal means asking α̇̇̇̊ simple question"will U̶̲̥̅̊ marry ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥ " A̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ its either yes or ₪☺ ,Ȋ̝̊̅† helps people know their boundries A̶̲̥̅̊₪d̶̲̥̅̊ limits so its an important question if U̶̲̥̅̊ have have been  for like 3 yrs.if d man ₪☺ D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ raise d topic,abeg raise am

Anonymous said...

To me ther is nothing in it bt evry thing depends on their maturity

Anonymous said...

I proposed to my b\f who is a british citizen last week and he accepted to marry me, bt in nijja if u do dat the guys will think u are desperate, it only works abroad not here. Lindodo post my comment or......?

Anonymous said...

Joseline Hernandez proposing to Stevie J. doesn't count abeg. She's a stripper with a low self esteem and no decent lady with any kind of home training should do that.

patalex said...

It is not a big deal

Anonymous said...

Yes. There's nothing wrong in using a Hummer bus to PH. Planes are more expensive.

Dada abdul-ganiyi said...

For me, I really dont see a difference either the male ask or the female ask for a hand in marriage, we are all equal.

Anonymous said...

Why not. My wife proposed to me - which I consider to be a strength. Actually, she helped me out because I was so timid then. I didn't know how to do it. She proposed and I didn't wait for her to finish. I said YES!!! I will forever be grateful to her for that singular act.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm!!! I think in Nigeria such act will be perceived as been desperate and the guy will definitely look down on you. Linda please what is your email addy?

Anonymous said...

Dia is notin wrong with dat am a guy my fiance was d 1st to propose she just say 'LET GET MARRIED' and I said 'OK' mind u am financing her education she is in her final year we are planning to get married this december she is 4rm a poor background but obviously dia is love btw us so if d love is dia then dia is notin wrong with it. When a girl propose and d man stay den his love is geniue but if he ran away den he is jst after some selfish interest such a thing also serve as litmus test to man seriousness. So pop that question n save urself 4rm future hrtbreak.

TheHoliday Emenaha said...

Its all about Love... So anything is still possible cuz we are living in Human experiance... Love don't count bullshits when she sees one. Anybody can propose but it depends if u can stand that voice "awkward"...

Nikapetrelli said...

Dat i do nt knw

Anonymous said...

I believe dt a woman shud not propose 2 a man cos 80% of cases, d man will not value them n d relationship will not last. Men prefer d women they go after.

Anonymous said...

I don't think there's a problem with it at all...I personally think its a sign of confidence...my dad never proposed to my mum....she just said to him "let's get married" and they did.

Anonymous said...

Come on, ladies. In an age where we have more economic power and arguably more freedoms than ever before, surely
the burden of risking rejection by getting down on one knee in front of a restaurantful of strangers should be equally shared? Of the guy-girl couples I know, only two got engaged after the woman popped the question. And in both cases the men have beards, so it's not like it immediately emasculates the gent to be asked.

ɪâm†σßƴ

OGE said...

Mumu write up!mtchewwwwwwwwww .d question is so irritating.linda e be like say u jst dey find wetin u go dey put for dis ya blog.ur gist have finish abi?

Anonymous said...

I think it is the best in the present day. lets see how the marriage will be.most men to women marriage proposal are heading for divorce.

Anonymous said...

1st of all that episode of Love and Hip Hop; if its Chrissy and Jim Jones its very okay first of all Chrissy is like 42 and Jim is like 36 and after over 8yrs of being together its very okay.

i think its okay to propose to a man as long as both of u are in d same space, don't propose if only u sees a future, don't propose to tie any one down. its a different society these days, some girls have to do what they have to do to keep them happy, like i said earlier, just make sure you both want it.

Anonymous said...

For me I think it is OK,but I will recommend you to separate your emotion and fact by trying to know the kind of guy he is.that is,is he the kind of guy that will exploit such an avenue and at the end ruin you,or the kind of guy that will really appreciate such confidence,or the kind of guy that will see you as a freak...but as for me,I really Love and appreciate a Lady that can speak her mind...I REALLY LOVE IT.

EDDIE~SYFAR said...

Its good, but u must be sure d man loves you

famous oluchi said...

there is no wrong,if u love somebody walk up straight and tell d persin dat u love him/her

Anonymous said...

There is no big deal in it.

Anonymous said...

Absolute no!This cliche of 21st century is beginning to make us lose our societal values.It is wrong for a woman to do that and yes your cousin's right;she has no self respect.
The Bible says "he that findeth a wife....."Therefore,it is the place of a man to find you and propose,pls ladies watch it!

LadyF

Intimate Talk With Aderonke Bams said...

It is not

Anonymous said...

well i asked my boyfriend out and he said yes we have been dating for 2yrs and last week he proposed......

curvy ZO said...

Proposing to a man is lyk telling him u aint man enof. Men like to be in control, so allow them.

titi lola said...

good morin Africa. it shldnt b a big deal but in dis part of the world we r (9ja) i wnt advise evn my enemy 2 do dat

Anonymous said...

I don't know ooh

Anonymous said...

it is a big deal
if u luv the guy go 4 him

Anonymous said...

different strokes for different folks. "he who finds s wife has found a good thing"..... he should find u and choose u. every man knows what he wants, proposing to a man is a desperate move, if he thinks u are good enough for him the he should put a ring on it.

SANDRA EDEH said...

This is Africa and in 9ja precisely, it is wrong because our men think is only desperate ladies can do that. When u propose to a guy u sell ur self respect n pride as a woman. Men should be proposing to u because u are a treasure n not the other way round

Zodi Uduezue said...

Well, for me it is not ok at all oooo...it will make the woman seem despirate which to me, wont be on the woman's favour.

Anonymous said...

Dunno if its ryt...bt as for me I can't.

Anonymous said...

Wetin concern agbero with over-load? It's a free country my dear!

Anonymous said...

I dont think its bad but african mentality frowns at it.

Anonymous said...

Proposal is proposal who does it makes no difference I feel if the man does it then he is ready to take the bull by the horn but if she does it and he still is a man in her life Fine

Anonymous said...

Not okay.....

Anonymous said...

I don't think is a good idea in our county based on d fact dat we have culture, and again d guy can be boastful abt it

Anonymous said...

Seriously I see nothing wrong with that. just that is funny the way people look at it. SOME might even say the lady is so cheap.

Anonymous said...

Lol. Tables don de turn ooo.

Anonymous said...

In dis part of the world we find ourselves it seems to be such a big deal but I dnt see it that way..lindiway u 4 lyk post my comment oh

IBO BoY said...

I'll really love it if a woman I really like proposes to me.

That said, I think the reason it seems awkward is because most of the (financial) responsibilities of marriage falls on the man so it'll be best if he chooses who and when himself.

A woman proposing to a man would seem to mean the woman would take responsibility (which many women don't like) and make the major decisions in a marriage.

In conclusion, it takes a higher breed of women to propose to a man.

Sean Manuel said...

What is this Private Practice? Even in the make-believe word of hollywood, that stuff backfired. In an ideal world, it shouldnt matter, but the world is full of cynicism. This is saying a lot coming from a progressive and a core liberal like me, even I see a problem with this. It gives the man a permanent out and excuse. "I didnt ask to marry you" #irestmycase#

Anonymous said...

Men get rejected every now and then, no big deal. Even the freshest of guys cant say he has never been rejected by a chick. So, if you know you can handle rejection like a man would, go ahead, propose to a guy, ask a guy out or do whatever that'll make u happy. Sha don't make a big deal out of it if a guy rejects you when you propose or ask him out. Shikena

kokomistress said...

if u expect ur man to propose to u nd e doesnt then u propose to him...... #Shikena#...... Naw jokes apart..... I dont fink dia z anytin wrong wit dat..... Just dat me i cant do it o

Anonymous said...

Imagine you're in a club, store or restaurant and you see a guy who floats your boat, you will have one, maybe two opportunities to connect with him. And if he doesn't see you but you notice him and don't speak that moment of indecision means that your potential Mr. Right might just walk out the door without your having given yourself the opportunity to meet and greet him and check him out. Old school says, "No, it's the man's job to do the proposal." Reality says, "Sure, why not?" And why not indeed - especially when it works. Honestly what have you got to lose? It's all in how you do it. It's just an attitude. So go on Sister... You can do it ;-))

Yinkadec10 said...

In naija context, culture wise most men dot believe in there woman proposing to dem.

mmababy said...

not bad at all,women do it secretly here in nija.lol

nydraps said...

ᶥᵗˢ not, cannot, and will never be appropriate.....

Sisi Shalewa ♥ said...

Well, in white countries I think they don't feel the woman has no self respect buh to them its going after what you want. Buh here in nigeria they feel the guys should do everything first but we're in the 21st century and there's no harm done if the woman proposes, you'll later find the guy re-proposing sef cos most guys of nowadays actually need the gurls to push them before they can take that bold step.

Anonymous said...

21st century or not, it is still the norm in most cultures that the man proposes to the woman - just like same-sex marriage is not allowed in most cultures. Being in the 21st century doesn't mean to loose all your values and if you will, "Self-respect".

I will like to think that even in the Wild Wild West, the man still proposes to the woman.

wellbelovedavid said...

it all depends on how intimate the relationship has been, i mean how well they've known each other. There is nothing wrong with it.

Anonymous said...

I won't propose. Am eXposed but still African

Elvis Logan said...

Why not it's a 50 50 thing

Anonymous said...

It's not ok goin by african culture

Paschal O said...

A LOT OF MEN WONT BE SINGLE IF GIRLS PROPOSED. Not a bad idea. After all, both are going to build a home together.

Manga said...

I believe it is VERY OK for a woman to propose.

Now a days waiting for THE MAN to tell you the four magic words could end up being told to someone else. World is changing so should the women.

Chikodili said...

knw is nt suppose 4 a woman to propose to a man

Madu Ugo said...

PRIDE GOETH BEFORE A FALL........ If the babe dey get pride to propose to a man or even ask a guy out on a date or relationship, she will only delay and keep hoping till another does what she cant do... I dont see anything wrong in that.. @ least i'm a witness to that..lol

Anonymous said...

Its nt wrng @ all,sm guys appear 2 b 2 shy 2 do dat n both parties mite end up loosin,i proposed 2 my guy o,i knew he culdnt do dat,we ve bin 2geda 4 6 yrs nw n wuld b gettin married soon,he luvs me lyk crazy,damn d slf esteem stuff,if ur guy sees u as cheap bcos u did dat den hes nt worth it.its even a shows grt courage n pride on d part of d lady.luv u linda

Anonymous said...

Since day one, it has been known across the world that its a man's duty to ask a woman to marry him because he will be the head of the family. However, its not a bad idea for woman to do so but trust me it isn't the right thing to do cos the man will quote the woman one day by saying "you asked me to marry you"

Anonymous said...

Ask Desmond Elliot*Eyes rolling*
*Oluwadamilola*

Anonymous said...

There is notin wrong wt a lady making d move,as long as d guy respond,if u like d guy,go for him,take my story for instance,am in my early thirties,was introduced to a guy by a mutual person to both of us,I liked d guy from the onset thou he is in his early forties,nvr married,I did d follow up while my guy only promises to call but nvr does always full of excuses,that is why I said as long as d guy respond,I still tink of him but I don't knw how to get him to respond to me,but av not given up.

Anonymous said...

personally, i am yet to find out the reason why a female cant be the one to propose. but then again, God made the woman to be the helpmate (which doesnt mean that the woman should go ahead and propose probably because the man is taking too much time...lol). another thing is that it may reduce the female's self esteem if he refuses and also the male's ego might just be bruised in the a situation where the female is more buoyant. more over, how awkward would it be when the woman goes down on one knee and gives a ring to the man *confused face*?

Victor said...

Culturally, it is frowned at,but I think it is okay if the lady has a close relationship with the man. Some men may just be too scared too take the plunge.

o'sola faphda said...

the man is the captain of the ship called relationship and he is in the best position to start the voyage, if a man can't make up his mind to approach a lady for a relationship i don't think he is serious enough to play his role as in the relationship

Victor said...

I think it is okay especially if the lady has been in a close loving relationship with the guy for some time.

MumsAloud said...

Well, I dont think there is anything wrong especially if the guy is dragging his feet about it. But I believe it is a man's place to woo a woman, let's not take it away from them. Its usually an ego thing for the men.

Apple said...

It is not right. But if any one feels like doing it why not.

Anonymous said...

I feel its wrong for a woman to propose to a man
biblically it said he who finds a wife as find a gud thing and obtain favour from the lord not he who finds a husband
if the man wants you that much he should make the move
I know its hard to find a husband but really it pays to wait

Anonymous said...

I feel is wrong for a woman to propose to a man
biblically it said he who finds a wife as find a gud thing and obtain favour from the lord
not he who finds a husband
I know its hard to finds a husband but really we just hv to hope and pray it pays to wait

Anonymous said...

it's wrong.D man shud do d proposal.

chizzy said...

Its very much ohk,if the guy isn't bold enuf to propose, my dear its. Left for u to man the relationship.

Anonymous said...

Na lie! Its you Linda who is using style style to ask us.

Just go ahead and ask the guy. Be sure however that he is really into you thou before you're rejected.

Anyways life is a risk. That's how you ladies reject men also.

Anonymous said...

No oh. Worst Idea ever. Marriage is a long arduous journey and believe me you want the man to ask you cos if you do the asking you are gonna hear it for the rest of your life.

virtuous woman said...

Are u insane? Y can't u let the man propose to u. A woman who proposes to a man has no shame and self respect. Dats y men misbehave in a marriage bcos most women have lost their dignity in the relationship by their words and action. You really have to respect urself for a man to respect u and dat cannot be achieved by fornication or jumping all over the man! As for proposing to a man that's an abomination!

Anonymous said...

AhaaaH! Linda post our comments. You still dey sleep??

stranger said...

Call me old fashioned but I still think its not normal. Whenever girls ask me out, I cant help but freakout with the only thing on my mind being she must av been sent to ruin my destiny. Aw much more... Marriage proposal, i did finally feel less of a man.

Anthony Dugbo said...

I will not encourage any to do that. Let the man do the proposing. In short it has not come to do!

greatlady said...

Yup dts d truth, i agree with your cuz.A lady proposing to a guy just shows impatience and desperation.
It cld be worrisome for a guy u re dating not to propose after a long time of being togeda, but i still tink a lady should wait and be proposed to not the oda way round.

Anonymous said...

When u propose as d lady, u have automatically taken d headship of d house wich belong to d Man, a man headship starts wen he goes to d woman nd propose. "He that finds a wife find a gud tin" nd nt d oda way round. If u propose as a lady, u should also pay d groom price nd do d marriage. Dis is Naija my dear...

Anonymous said...

i thing there is nothing bad in what she did. i ve got to learnt something in life abt relationship, that it saver to marry someone that luvs more than u luv him/her. bcos she needed him and convinced within herself before proposing.

Anonymous said...

No. Equality didn't change the rules of courtship.

Anonymous said...

Yeah he first to comment.... Anywayz is see notin wrong if a 'she' proposes to a 'he'... My wife did the same, and I admire her for that...

Anonymous said...

well if u ask me there is nothing wrong in that

Anonymous said...

Nonsense, rubbish...mtcheeew linda u r very stupid!

Anonymous said...

well if u ask me there is nothing wrong in that

Anonymous said...

It depends on the part of the world you live
In Africa, I believe a man should propose to the woman

Anonymous said...

well if u ask me there is nothing wrong in that

PeeJay Fashion Plus+ said...

Lindiwey as in? Will you marry me kind of question?. fafafa foul. In as much as that can be welcomed in India and the western world. This cannot work in Nigeria...... we have our norms. Except the man is the woman in the relationship......hehehehehe.

Olajumoke said...

It is actually not a big deal but in this part of the world, men see it as a big deal and they also have the mind set that the lady might want to take their position and be in control.. Also biblically it is clearly stated that a man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife. Also it states that he that find a wife finds a good thing and obtain favour from the Lord, if it were actually possible for a lady to propose to a guy we will have few single ladies*winks*

Anonymous said...

WELL, IONT THINK ITS A GOOD IDEA, AND I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF IT. EVEN IN SOME PARTS OF INDIA WHERE WOMEN PAY D MARRIAGE DUES SEF, THE MAN STILL PROPOSES. IT SOUND SO AWKWARD. PLS GALS/LADIES, DONT DO IT.

Olufunmi Afolabi said...

I watched dt episode too lol.. men are tricky tho, bn with you for long doesn't mean dy want to settle with you, so as a woman just wait or leave... just my opinion :)

YCFOnline.com

Anonymous said...

ibelieve in life everyone has a right and is equally allowed to make their own rules. whatever floats your boat do it! if the man is refusing to wear the pants,go on and wear it for him! shikena!!

Anonymous said...

dats total balderdash!!!....no mata ow centurized u claim to b...even let it b in d nxt 51st century...#book of proverb#.."he dat finded a wife finded a gud tin...n not d oda way round.....EVE can neva b created b4 ADAM...C'mmon guyz...

**Ekene legend**

Anonymous said...

Did ur mum proposed to ur dad?

Anonymous said...

Propose to a man in dis black monkey country dat we r,o fe te ur man tell d whole world about it and if dre is misunderstanding btw u two,he says stuffs like nva liked her,she is d worth mistake I made in recent time.I cursed d day I accepted her proposal see abo oro la so fun omoloabi to ma denu e a di odidi,I dnt wnt to miss dis brt bus jor o!

Oluwabobby said...

It's wackie for a female to hv d*ck,so u ever dream of having one.Then dont think of proposing to a guy.

Jbankz said...

Itz a big deal in africa infact naija cos u will appear too desperat and thatz not gud fr a lady.what if HE turnz u down,hw wil u feel?let him do d propsin nd u do d acceptin.he might nt b seein u as a wife quality.*just sayin*

Anonymous said...

Yes, i think it is alright for a woman to propose- especially if she is the older party- if the man says no, at least you know where you both stand and you can decide whether or not to continue with the relationship

Anonymous said...

Nthn bad in it. I didnt see anythn wrong with it... So far u knw dat d guy will nt be takin u 4 granted

Aminah said...

Nthn bad in it... I didnt see anythn wrong with dat. So far u knw dat d guy will nt be takin advantage of u or takin u 4 granted

Aminah said...

Nthn bad o.... I didnt see anythn wrong with dat, so far u knw d guy will not be takin advantage of u or taking u 4 granted...

Anonymous said...

as u said 21st century is wat matas nt custom.and since gender issue is bergainin 4 equilibrm den anything shuld b involved.

Anonymous said...

I've been thinking about proposing to my bf for some time now.....I might just do it, cos I know he wants to but he's worried about finances and all and I know I can handle all that, so waiting for guys response to this lady, so I can completely make up my mind, I see nothing wrong for a lady proposing, I think it's more how you do it that will matter.

Anonymous said...

Still don't understand how the females desire bein the BIGGER person in a marriage and still feel itz part of self respect to keep urself in denial over somthing that's dosent really depicts ..............anytin...first to comment

Anonymous said...

I've been thinking about proposing to my bf for some time now.....I might just do it, cos I know he wants to but he's worried about finances and all and I know I can handle all that, so waiting for guys response to this lady, so I can completely make up my mind, I see nothing wrong for a lady proposing, I think it's more how you do it that will matter.

Anonymous said...

is only right 4 a lady 2 propel her man 2 propose 2 her,make him 2 d proposin,but not in any way right 4 a lady 2 say 2 her man:marry me

Anonymous said...

My sister propose to your man first and tell linda to post how it went on dis blog! experience is the best teacher!!!

Anonymous said...

half of my friends mothers did it in the 70s..Yes Nigerian ethnic women:) All in their 60s and feeling smug now..

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