Michael ReaganSome men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.
Manhattan Beach, California
June 1971
Dear Mike:
Enclosed is the item I mentioned (with which goes a torn up IOU). I could stop here but I won't.
You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
Love,
Dad
P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day.
(Source: Reagan: A Life In Letters;)
104 comments:
In case you didn't know, Cristiano RONALDO dos Santos Aveiro was named after Ronald Reagan who was his dad's favourite actor at that time
Hope all these nig men r reading this cos it take a great man to b with one women and b faithful to her
*starts slow clapping*
Simply beautiful. I hope more men read this than women. Nigerian and indeed African men need to read and hopefully adopt this. I'm a guy and i've never cheated once in 18yrs of marriage...and i enjoy the dividends of my fidelity. Only someone in my shoes can ever understand that. Nice one Linda!
Oh this is heart touching...
This is so sweet and true. Happy wife Happy Life!
obviously the son threw the letter in a drawer because the marriage lasted just a year.
This is another why Ronald Reagan is the greatest president america has produced in the last 50 years...
awwn
E easy not to cheat most especially when ur out of the country and your wife is in Naija.
The conservative far right need to take heed to this advice they tout family values but are worse than the libs ..no wonder his wife worshipped the ground he walked on. A real man is not a dog and doesn't get his value from being a fool..
Yes Yes Yes..Thank u 4 dis 1 Linda u be correct girl!! Oya men over to u, shebi una dey ask 4 letter after d grandmas letter to her grand daughter post..Soo here u are take a lesson or 2 frm dis!! 1 man 1 wife no runs is d rule!
Linda please send this to Tchidi Chikere who is planning to take a second wife
OMG!this piece is something else. i'm soo loving every bit of it. and hey i'm dropping it for my sons too. fidelity is d best gift one can give to his/herself. cheating doesn't make u a big boy. u just hurting dat one woman who loves u and will love u till eternity.... thumbs up RONALD REAGAN..
Eeeeh if you like show naija man this, it doesnt make a difference. Our men are assholes period. They have turned themselves to demi gods. They are cronic cheats and they are hailed by their fellow idiotic friends. If you love your wife, they call you a sissy, till you join their gang. In fact, the gist i heard today made me just hate them the more. Starting from my dickhead husband who thinks he's so smart.Dumbfucks.........
AND YES CHEATING IS SOO EASY AND CHEAP... AFRICAN MEN SHOULD TRY SOMETHING MORE CHALLENGING AND EXPENSIVE LIKE BEING "FAITHFUL"
Awesome is all i can say.
Great 1.
nice. real nice
Its all well and good for women to be applauding the letter - and I must say it is commendable, but I have some questions: who are the men cheating with? Fellow men? Ah ha! I didn't think so. You hypocritical ladies run after married men and seduce them (aristos) just to get cash as young girls, then when you're older and the younger women do same to your husbands, you cry foul! Haba! What is good for the goose must be good for the gander. If youve never gone after a married man as a young girl (or even some shamelessly married women today), then you can pray you get a man like this. If you have, just forget it. Other women MUST sleep with your husband. It's KARMA bitches!!!
So y'all should just STOP the hypocrisy already! Men wouldn't be cheating if y'all weren't seducing them. See them all sounding like Mother Theresa. rubbish!!
Cheating is sooo easy, try something more challenging like being faithful
Blak kofee
A good piece! What more is there to say? He that hath ear,let him hear! It takes two to tango!
naija men ke! U wan kill them... cheatin is in their blood.... Its like u hv put them in solitary confinement if they dont cheat.if u like write dem letter frm nw till 2mow dem go use dat paper clean yansh ....
I don't think there's anymore that can be said to do justice to the truth the man has pointed. A truly wise guy.
Some of you women will be running mouth like pigs some of you do worse things than your husbands there are situaTions the man is faithful & the woman is a chronic cheater oleburuku women
Oh.Another fan of Jacob's cross I see.
Well thats a good one. A good letter full of wisdom and knowlege. Men cheat and women cheat. But the only solution is knwowing God once you know and have personal relationship with Him, the family can over come challenges.A family that prays together stays together. Statistics has shown that families in America that prays together are more likely to be together than thoese that do not pray. *Nigerian society has made the society their philosophy.
It's actually less expensive to be faithful. Shallow men won't let that sink in their empty skulls.
Linda can I marry u? I can keep to all these things comfortably.
Even you know say this cannot pass as the best joke of 2012
Speak about your husband. One bad apple don't necessarily have to spoil the whole bunch and am sure you know it.
Out there, are faithfull one man, one wife Naija guys. Yes some of us are not it at all but there are yet many of us perfect Ronald Reagan dear Mikes.
Maka: he has my vote:)
A true man
@Tayor,LIB's blog is not a place to diss your husband, please show some respect to him,as for me,well it only takes the grace of God.The one true girl I ever loved for over 7 years got married last month and I was deeply hurt,if we were together I dont think i would ever cheat or play around.If you love someone truly beyond the physical,infidelity would never find its way in your heart.
great letters. African mothers should take a clue and start raising their sons right. African Men are they way they are because of how their mothers raised them.
Nigerian men should read this
Incisive piece, God bless d writter. May ur days b longer all true lovers and faithful husbands.
dont let it diminish you Tayor,stay strong and proud....
The reality is that it happens ie men cheating on their partners. Women feel bad, men, men, .i repeat men get away with it. Because society expects the women to manage like that. Some women in fact start being nicer when they discover.
The words have been spoken, he who has ears let him hear, Micheal Reagan was given this letter and his marriage lasted one year, it all depends on what you really want for yourself.
True talk Duchess...well spoken! Word!
Nice One Linda. If only some men can read this and be true to the one woman they showed the world as his wife. Believe me, infidelity is much more expensive than genuine faithfullness. In all thank God my husy is one in life time Man, who despite all, is faithfull,caring and well behaved.
wonderful...it goes both ways though ladies
'Ol Gipper was a smart and pragmatic man. May his soul rest in Peace.
Lovely!
Hope those weak nigerian men are reading dis?
You feel u have money and yet u are a public dog!#GodisWatchingYou!
Girls too,work hard and respect ur bodies,Its nt worth it,stop sleepin wit a man for bb,human hair ,designer hand bags,etc,u can buy these things on ur own,abeg dnt let any man treat u like his bin bag!!!
I'm a woman,I take pride in lovin one man and being faithful 100% and trust me,it feels very good especially when other men are chasing me,I love telling them "I have got a Man"! Bed hopping can't be better,I just know it!
Bless ur heart!
=))º°˚˚˚°ÂºLmaoº°˚˚˚°Âº°Âº=))
But seriously,he needs it!
Lol at ....their fellow idiotic friends!
Very true!
mind blowing advice!i will also go by it.
thumbs up.
There's something for women here too...
Naija men r jst DOGS n der's nutin dt can change dt,nt even dis letter...its already in deir blood.i 1der y dey get married wen dey can stick deir annoying ***** in one place...MUST U CHEAT 2 BE A MAN?????Dts one question i kip asking evryday.Lisa.
I love this dearly. Thanks Linda Ikeji. I hope all men especially the young can read this
I love the piece. Am a guy, but am really sorry fidelity especially by men has really eaten deep into the African culture, now its excusable by marrying more than one wife.
If only we practice the kind of marriage acceptable in the Western World, we would really go a long way in solving this issues.
When we adjust our Laws and put things right, where infidelity in marriage is treated like a criminal case in court or leads to divorce where the woman walks away with a large chunk of the man's life-savings. Only then will we know how to curb it (in marriage)
But ofcourse, how will we adjust the Laws to favor the women when even the Lawmakers are the Chief Culprits.
****what can i say? I pity my Continent as a whole****
I love this dearly. Thanks Linda Ikeji. I hope all men especially the young can read this
9ice one!!!
This can also be called a ' Revelation'! Nice one.
Equally as interesting as the letter is Tayor's comment on her husband.
With this sort of attitude, can we dare condemn the men???
Interesting letter all the same.
uhhhhhh!!! makes me sick!! it takes two to tango.
"A real man is not a dog and doesn't get his value from being a fool." I love!
Anon May 16, 2012 9:37 PM, thanks for that quote.
Anon May 16, 2012 9:24 PM, lol! I didn't even know that.
Tayor!!! see casting. hehehe
I'm so amused by the idiotic comments i read everyday on forums!
1. A man does not wake up and start cheating, chances are high that you saw the signs and ignored it so live with it.
2.Stop generalizing! You hardly hear men talk about how all Nigerian women are cheats because we also have cases of those with stories that make you wonder where we got it wrong.
all the useless nija men will not comment now o!! but if na mata of choppin p**Y dem go comment.Linda if u no publish dis tin,i no go comment 4 ur blog again.Btw na beg i dey beg**winkwink**
Someone is been married for 18 years and haven't cheated on his Ol lady...that's huge..Permit me to say congrats and may God continue to provide u with the strength to carry on....Nce piece although it's easier in theory than practice
Classic piece
Ronald said it all,Gbam!!!!!!!!!over to u.
That number one comment is just what it is. GUSH! God bless whoever posted it.
Tayor n anon 9:40 AM.... you are so on point.
to someone who said men just dont wake up and start cheating,i agree with you but you also fail to say that it is a way of life.it is something they have being doing right from when they got dis-virgined.
yes! most men will rather take advice from their friends (blind leading blind most times) than their wives who @ the end of the day bears the brunt of the negative results of the outcome.most advice being,encouraging them to try a fresh and younger blood.
most men cheat out of complex issues, some others out of peer pressure a few others bc they married the wrong partners who either abuse dem verbally or physically and other,to show they have the money to throw around on young fresh blood(handbag)......dats my own take.
I feel that at anytime in one's life one should take inventory of all that happen and try to be fair in one's judgement as it affects the way you aportion blames. Fine we agree men cheat but have we ever tried to look at the circumstances surrounding every course of acton? Some women claim they don't cheat but they handle their relationships like who cares it it works. This alone can cause a man to think twise by looking for what he needs somewhere since he isn't getting it where he should. Secondly, some women are deadly. They claim innocense as long as they don't get cought whereas they cheat too.
Let's not just judge by putting men on the question mark leaving the ladies out. They have qurries to answer too.
Thank you! I thought I was Ï„̣̣Ñ’Ñ‘ only one who noticed that fact!
Even though im a lady,i dont agree wf all of u dishin out on men as if some women dont do worse, fine some men r cheats but nt all.both genders have roles 2 play in makin a marriage work.
na dog go chop gfada mouth!mscheeeeeew,na jeje woman go dey wen man go come meet am.Randy lot,dey use women seducing men as an excuse,hellooooooooo!!!!!who makes d first move?
Very true unfortunately not everybody finds the strength or will in their heart to work on a relationship. "you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it" love that!
All men should copy this and paste on their bathroom mirrors, office table top computers and pass same message to all their male children to the fourth generation.
All of you opening your mouth, my husband is faithful, just wait till he gets older and he has big time wad, you are in trouble.Sleepless nights. I agree with Tayor o jare. Naija men are morons and their moronic friends and families, and society. I even heard that our moronic state govtment have passed a law legalizing second marriage? Owon oloriburuku. All those hopeless lawmakers. Let any oloshi come to my house to break my marriage, wo she would see weeeeeeeeeeennnnn.I would chop witch for her sef*lmao*
Mind blowing.!
You see, we women pretend a lot. My husband is the best, his faithful etc. Do you really know him. You better wake up and smell the cofee. Its a real world. No jonesing. Never trust any man.
But his politics - was less interesting and give-a-damnish.
Read up on him.
Yes asshole...Bitches starting from ur mum
OMG!!! All the replies here got me cracking up but i seriously do agree with most of you! Yes most Men in our society have truly lost it but honestly some of our ladies encourage them as well... Temptation usually comes in through a door that has been deliberately left open!
very very nice
Every man and woman of the new generation should read and ponder this. You can only be a hero of a man or woman when you face the difficulty that others wouldn't. And from this old school man to us the new, he simple says that Marriage is what you make it or put into it. You shall reap what you sow.
Being unfaithful applies to both sexes, cause right now women r worse, (NB, i am a woman). Commitment should come from both parties, not one sided.
i am surprised to know that women still seduce men coz it seems to be other way round! Most men are guilty of this; they use whatever underhand methods their minute brains can think up to coerce sex from young girls. Lecturers, employers, pastors, teachers etc. U name it! No profession is immune.Worse still is that such men are never young. No, they are usually middle aged cows who ought to be ashamed of pulling down their pants in front of their daughter's age mates! the bottom line is most Nigerian men really have inferiority complex. That is really why they cheat!
Jen has said it well, All men cheat for diff reasons and like wise women.
marrigae is nt wt one can just jump into is the last step a man should take.a man who is cheating is just digging his own grave. my fellow man pls once dat u are married there is no need for u to look outside d marriage keep d one u have and make a good home for ur family.
@tayor calm down.
@all
I am one of the lucky few that married a GOOD man
my husband and his friends are the true EPITOME of gentlemen ,the kind of man I will marry a million times over
for the cynics,yes Ive been married a little over 10 years so there are still so many good men out there,many GOOD naija men.
where are you ladies looking?
Thank Linda. I usually don't like to leave a note on sensitive topics like this bcos of its nature. Most peeps have spoken beautifully, some have written out of context and some have yarned Dust.
Tayor, am sorry to share in ur pain even though this might not be the right channel to discuss ur home. But ur hubby's action might have been influenced by something else but still not an excuse for infidelity. Try & fill d gap.
Eze....why were u trying to give urself an undeserved glory? I'm sure u didn't notice that u just washed ur dirty linen in public. If u were what u claimed u are, why would a lady u've loved & been faithful to for over 7 years leave u to be married to another man just last month? Who is fooling who? U or her? Definitely one of u is not being faithful, end of story.
ANGEL....weldone, great thinking, good judgement! I like ur view. Nice one.
@Ann 12.51...Devil kiss ur dirty mouth. Did u read the letter at all? Why did u just conclude & put all d blame on men. Did u ever care to know what led to Michael's 1 yr marriage? Tell me? Am sure u av more than 4 men u r dating & here u are doing holier than thou rubbish!
My point...no one is totally free of d allegation. Pastors do sin but ask God for forgiveness & so are d congregation. May God lead us the right part. E Ma Dami Duro oooooo!
Nice one Linda.
This is crazily amazing Lindy! Teaching us morals right! We need more of this. Thumbs up!
I know, not all men cheat, and know not all Nigerian men cheat but most of them don't know what commitment and marriage is about.
I hope a lot of Nigerian men read this, maybe Linda should print it out BOLD and pass it to many of them.
Nice one President Reagan! I thank you for this piece! It takes a lot of prayers, discipline and courage for a man to be faithful!God help us!!! AMEN!
Oh shataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!
Then why would these stupid idiotic men allow themselves to be seduced by the "aristos"?
Karma my foot!
ODE!!!!!!
#Queeny!
Nice on President Reagan! Very good advice for us men!
Irrespective of your comments, I still believe one day very soon, I will be with a man who adores me so much cheating will be the least of his worries! I still believe there are good men out there and God has made one of them for me. If someone can come out boldly to say he has never cheated on his wife of 18years then there is HOPE. In turn, I will be a virtuous woman so much so that even if he decides to cheat (God forbid), it will be his greatest loss on earth!
Most women do worse and we shld stop generalising. And cheating is not all about sex. Your spouse can also cheat u financially. Great men gv good advice like this cos they hv d worst relationships and wish they knew better.
Sometimes I tend to read comments on posts before I comment but I have found out that they just poison my mind with ugly and very demeaning words. Its just spoils the taste of that particular post! I may have to boycott this! It's just sad!
Hmmm and there goes d faithful ladies, u so quick to condemn,so fast to judge and very swift to generalize. Who do d men cheat with?i guess their fellow men.who patronises d aristos? i guess my landlord and dad. Who keeps d men away from their wives? i guess their drivers. Who requests for money to buy brazillian abi Argentine hair? i guess folks like me with punk and mohulks. Who takes some ones daddy to mr Biggs requesting for ice cream and meat pie? i guess the gate men. Who leaves dat lipstick on ur man's collar? I guess his tailor. What u do to others, in full measure will be meted out on u. Am not perfect but aspiring to be. BONARIO.
Mumu dey there ,how u take know say your husband is faithful to u?na bcos u never catch am yet..ode
Mumu don't u know some women do make the first move?
Wow I wish I could copy and paste this ur comment,Mehn the ladies should read your comment and shut up already.
Who let Tayor out of her iron chain?wow you see why your husband will always go out for another woman,you are a child that went into marriage,why would u come here to talk about your husband like that?Mehn women like you should nt get married at all,who told u most women here saying good things about their men don't have marital problems or their men don't weep their behind with Cain?hey no abeg incase u dont have brothers or family let me advise u,don't talk bad about ur husband to friends or family talkless of blog or any website because there are women see worse yet if u ask them they will tell u they have the most blissful and enjoyable marriage . Wow I shame for ur comment as a wife you are,let me be honest,u are a bad wife abeg.
Its so annoying having to find that most replies have laid emphasis on Nigerian men in particular and African men in general. I happened to grow up in Nigeria and presently live abroad and i can confidently say that cheating trends are greatly similar. while NO excuse is permissive enough to support cheating, i would like to make clear that independent of location or nationality, males are as guilty as females and instead of trading blames, we should get the message of the letter.
nice one,
A good advice from from a great dad
If you're afraid of your wife and vice versa, you can cheat easily. But when you truly fear God, loving and being faithful to your spouse will not be something you struggle to do. The holy spirit gives you the power to keep your marriage vows.
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