Age gap between a man and a woman in a relationship | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Sunday, 2 October 2011

Age gap between a man and a woman in a relationship

What do you guys make of the statement below; written by a commenter on this blog, Felix E.
A real marriage is unmistakably legitimate and natural and the age difference is usually convincing - within 8 years. If the age difference between a man and a woman goes way beyond this range, it's usually because the woman is extremely desperate to get married or that she's after material wealth.
Hmmmmm...do you agree?

48 comments:

Unknown said...

That's a one-sided argument. Young women these days grow faster than the men and due to the economy, have learnt to take charge and somehow in the midst of it all become really responsible. Therefore, they find themselves thinking 20 years ahead of their age. They are business conscious and frugal at spending and this draws the older men who WANT to marry them. There are also gold diggers, who are spendthrifts and just want to shack up with the older men for money purposes only. Agreed, older men lust after beautiful young girls but they really combine beauty, brains & virtue when they want to make one their wife.

Kanyinulia said...

Its a lie i dont agree....most ladies get married to older men cos they are more matured and knows how to take care of a lady....besides i cant marry any dude older than me with 5 or 6 yrs cos obviously am a young girl and the boy will still be a baby....can a baby marry a baby???????

Anonymous said...

My aunt is married to a 33 year old man 13years younger than she is. When I met him 3years ago I thought he was about 35 so did my aunt. They've been married almost 3yrs. He's adopted her child and they have one of their own.
I wasn't surprised he fell for her, I'm 26 and I've been told I look stunning; my aunt is a 43 year old who on a good day looks 25 on a baaaad day looks like she's in her early thirties. Both wealthy beautiful and happy.

Love really doesn't usually discriminate when certain factors are in place.

Anonymous said...

i dont agree with dat,i personally i'm 4yrs older than my husband.i respect him and i take good care of my self.hardly one knows i'm older than he is...

Anonymous said...

I don't agree with that at all!! I personally feel when the guy is older between 8 to 10 years older he is more of a man not a boy!!He can handle is own shit and know what he wants.so if the gal is mega wealthy does that mean she is gold digging???I personal don't like young boys and will not marry someone my age,for crying out loud they still want to play and have as much sex as possible.Older men are better for me sha!!!!

Anonymous said...

I do not agree at all because am 27 years and my husband is 49years and we have been married now for 7 years with 3 kids and I have never come to accept that age has a problem with love genuinely.and also if you see my husband you will think is 34years...so based on my experience it all depend on individual.

Anonymous said...

Linda pls kindly change ds ur newstyle of posting 2 d former.its beta especialy 4 as many of us dat use bb 2 read.ds 1 is stressful 4 us abeg.tanks

Anonymous said...

ABEG LINDA WHAT OF BEYONCE AND JAY-Z WITH A 12 YEARS AGE GAP SO YOU SAY IT WAS ABOUT MONEY OR THEY REALLY LOVE THEMSELVES.MY HUSBAND IS 13 YEARS OLDER THAN MYSELF AM 29.HE IS CRAZY FOR ME OOO.WE HAVE 2 CHILDREN AND SO VERY HAPPY.

Ekundayo said...

I disagree with this statement. Any woman at any age desires to marry a man who is capable of loving and taking care of her. It is also important to note that she should also be able to play her own roles in the family. Thus, whether she is 24 getting married to a 23, 27 or 36 year old man, as long as the purpose of the institution is fulfilled, it does not matter. We all just want to be happy with our choices and decisions, is that not what life is all about?

Anonymous said...

that is a myopic point of view. when you find somebody you get on with, you find someone you get on with... simple as that. age is really a number. people don't always have the intelligence or experience that's commensurate with their ages. all things being equal, yes a woman might be on the same mental page with a man eight or thereabouts her senior, but what of when said ppl's perspectives on life are not representative of their age. moreover, getting ppl can get married to someone who is just their friend who they may be more (or less) matured than, but they just get along really well.

im sorry, but his point of view is way too myopic

HoneyDame said...

One word, shallow! Refer the commenter to your Joke Silva and Olu Jacobs post. They have about 15 years between them

Adams said...

Hi Linda,

I just know about your few months ago and keep checking everyday because of something like.
My comment:
In the era of modern, things are mixed-up.
Widow, widower, western culture, failed marriage, failed nation(s), etc are few other reasons that can result into this kind of situation.
Hence, one needs a broad view of event/action that the result/outcome.
Adams

Anonymous said...

i think is not really a barrier but on most cases,the young girls that runs into marriage do face lots of setback in the affaire and most a times the love of man covers it all,Our girls at their young age likes older men,when you see this girls with their breast shooting out and doing what elderly people are doing, or say sleeping with an older person will even make them to look down at the young boys,it will look to them that they are grown up and can even do it all,Na big eye dey cause all this.I know of a girl that staying before me to bath and go to school,she nows goes out with someone much more older than she is,she sees me today like small boy.

oyakhilome said...

I'm 26.most of my past relationships have always been with older ladies(the widest age difference being 3years). The only time i dated a younger lady was a total disaster. I won't be surprised if i eventually get married to someone older. I believe it all has to do with who you're more comfortable with and not age.

love said...

Am dating a guy dat was born d same yr i was born, which was 1983, buh i was born in June and my guy was born in October,and we are abt to settle dwn pretty soon, tho i look 24, pls is there anything wrong with dat?

NaijaScorpio said...

No, I don't agree. I think he is a narrow minded person.

Ay said...

Very wrong,
My husband is 11 years older than me and we got married when I was 24 so I wasn't desperate. He is not wealthy either and he is the best man any one can wish for.I act older than him in most cases.
True Love doesn't recognise your age or financial status

phyll said...

i totally disagree, my fiance is 14 yrs older than me and we gettin married in a couple of months, im from a family who provide my every need and more, we love eachoda thats the bottom line, we from about the same background of family wealth...im nt desperate for marriage as im still in my 20s

Lechie said...

I totally disagree with that. Age has nothing to do with love. It all depends on the person. It depends on what one wants in a relationship.The bottomline is, if you get the happiness that you crave for in a relationship what else do you need? My uncle is 53 while the wife is 32, that is 21 years gap.They have four very healthy children and they are very happy in their relationship. So what has age to do with this?

Anonymous said...

Linda, you fall my hand again! Don't you know who you are? My dudu sister how far with using afin models? Oyinbo no go use dudu for this kind thing please adjust ASAP....keep being u

Ada said...

Abeg make we hear word. My hubby and I are same age, and we are both 30 and he's extremely mature, so forget about women being more mature than guys.
I've friends married to guys 9, 10, 15 years older and they are happy and blessed. It really depends on the people, in some cases the men may be divorced or for whatever reasons, did not marry earlier, or had married foreign sometimes for papers.

My point being dont ignore a guy because he is your age or because he is 10 years older. It should be more than that, seek God, because most important thing is that the person loves God 1st, a genuine relationship and intimacy with Him, because by him having that, he'll automatically have love for you, as God's chosen one.

Anonymous said...

Age has nothing to do with it, this is down to the individual, but me personally will never marry any man am older than, l will not marry a man am 1 minute older than.

Anonymous said...

nonsense. marrying older man, even older women has been happening for centuries and it has nothing to do with money.
i hate it when people only see through a tunnel. its a matter of choice.

Anonymous said...

at 29, i dated an older man (56 yr old widow) whom I made more money than. Why? He loved me and treated me better than any young boy. My conversations with him were stimulating, time spent with him went by fast, he had a wealth of experience and he was more intent om pleasing me sexually than on me pleasing him.
Of course i bowed to family pressure and moved on. But I would have been happy with him and it had nothing to do with money.

Anonymous said...

anon 10.18 if ur reason for dating older men is because u THINK they dont want to have as much sex as possible then u still have a long way to go. A man can be promiscuous at any age...think about the aristos and other polygamous types...a man can also be mature at any age

Anonymous said...

I don't think age has anything to do with it. I believe if there's love and trust, the relationship will work out perfectly. Both also have to be mature and compliment each other in most ways. Age is just a "number" it's more of true love, faith in each other and trust that makes it all work out.

diva said...

i dnt agree with this. so if i'm 23 and i happen to meet a 38 year old who is obviously 15 years my senior and we start dating and eventually have plans to settle down, does it mean i'm desperate or anything? why would i be desperate at age 23? its absolutely wrong when people use their view of certain things to generalize what is good or bad for others. it shows how narrow minded the person is. everybody and anybody should be able to settle down with whom ever they love, cherish and have great feelings for despite their age diff, be it 2, 5, 10 or even 16 years. after all there is no guarantee that marrying a man who is close to your age range will bring you peace and happiness.

nene said...

my father is 15 years older than my mom and she married him when she was 21 and he was poor as shit, she married him because she had dreams that he was going to be the father of her children so please before you say rubbish think. we thank GOD 34 years later and they are still together with children and grand children and now comfortable financially(because they were both hard working) and it did not rub off on my sisters and i cause our husbands are just a year or two older than us

Anonymous said...

Its a lie. When true love is involved, all unnecessary protocol, societal expectations are set aside. am 30 and married to a 30 yrs old man. He is older than me by 3 months and we are happily married for 2 yrs now. It all depends on individual cases and preferences. Cheers

CLF said...

Is he talking of today's marriages or marriages of our parents? There's a ten year gap between my parents *I(g)bo.* My Dad plucked my Mum early, married her and she continued on to University. The rest is history.

Anonymous said...

I do not agree totally with him. He may be right that some women are gold diggers but that does not mean that all are the same. Some ladies that are still in their early twenties from well to do families do marry men in their forties and these men are not rich. This means that the lady is neither desperate nor a gold digger. My mum is very much younger than my dad and my sister married a man that is more than ten years her senior. My dad is not a very rich man and the same goes for my brother in law. They are all happily married. So it depends on individuals.

Dorothy Zyna said...

i do not agree wv this statement! and anyone who does must be of a shallow mind. *sigh*

Dorothy Zyna said...

i do not agree wv this statement! and anyone who does must be of a shallow mind. *sigh*

Anonymous said...

For me I fall into that category that age is nothing but a number. A 28 yr old man can be alot more mature than a 34 yr old man. If someone has a perfect relationship with a man 6yrs older, another may not be just as lucky.

Its about understanding, respect, friendship and love.

PoLyMaT said...

Age is numba..**maturity matters**..i gues ple shld get married when dey r independent nd matured enuf 2 live 2geda..age restrictions r secondary issues wch are almost not important..in essence, i dnt agree wt him..at alllll

Anonymous said...

BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

not always. but that's a valid point sha.i don't see y any woman shud marry a man youngr that her with up to 8 years. most men never get to the same level of maturity as women. for me the maximum is 5 years.

Anonymous said...

i dont agree at all my hubby is 14 yrs older than me and he is the most amazing man i have ever known and our marriage is over 10 yrs old...

Nwamaka said...

Just like EMGEE commented,the young man's arguement is one-sided indeed.Sincerely,I have dated a few young men(dated oh,I didn't say in a relationship oh)who were about 4 or 5 years older than I am and believe me,I always see them dancing same dance step.Very impatient,childish,selfish and clueless as to winning a woman's love.I have also met a few older guys with age gap of about 10 years and they are so indecisive and emotionally confused,its beyond belief.No one can peg a particular age to love or marriage.Age is not wisdom.My earnest prayer everyday is to marry a man of integrity and character who will celebrate me as his wife,while I crown him my king.That's what matters not this age nonsense!.

Anonymous said...

Well my dad is 14years older than my mum, my younger sis married a man 10 years older than she is, i am not married but dating a guy 2years younger than me, is that a problem? advice pls

Anonymous said...

myopic argument.

FMB said...

So not true, there's 10 years difference between my husband and I. And i'm 26 and was definitely not desperate wen i got married. and we are very much happy. it had nothing to do with money, he just more matured and understanding than any1 closer to my age.

ekem said...

thats nonsense

Anonymous said...

i no concern me

Dee dee said...

Nonsense myopic statement. I think Felix E was just looking for attention.

Joyce Mbaka said...

age is just a number

Anonymous said...

Linda, someone mentioned being married to a man 13years younger. Is that right?

Anonymous said...

i strongly disagree... there are other things that come into play apart from being desperate or material wealth. what about maturity and communication? In my experience, i prefer older guys cos they have more focused and understand u better. Most of the reasonable ones don't want to play games and they go straight to the point, nobody wants to be toyed with.

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