Dear LIB readers: My marriage is breaking me into pieces
From a male LIB reader
I guess I am married to nice woman but the love is not there for her.
She wanted the marriage I was in love with someone else. An Igbo girl
who the parents insisted that she cant marry a none Igbo. I was almost
on my knees begging her but she did not agree.
The other lady is from my state. She is a nice person, everybody likes
her around here but my heart is still with that other lady.
Me and the igbo girl will could talk on and on, gist, play, do funny
things and call each other names. But if you are not a fan, you will
think that we are serious.
But I am stock here, my religious upbringing does not agree with the
break up. When it was a month to the wedding I almost walked out
because I saw all these but some folks just assumed that I was just
too selfish. I even called the lady and I told her will u like your
man to be cheating on you because marriage wise we can't pull through
together but she wont just get it.
Well, I had to go through the marriage process believing miracles will
happen, I can tell you till now I still feel incomplete.
some few weeks back, me and the other lady met, though she is not yet
married it was as if life was pumped into my system. She is not what
every man wants for a wife but she is the best for me. Linda, to be
sincere with you I am thinking polygamy. She stays in another town,
daily, I feel like moving over to stay there.
Sometimes, I just believe death is better than this.
What an interesting fabrication. Ohk, my point is the igbo girl Bo love you, because is she did love you she wouldn't have listened to her family. Women are naturally stubborn, they always go for what they want. So the babe doesn't see you as her potential husband just as a friend. So better face your marriage before you let a selfish friendship ruin you.
Dear pls move-on cos u are married already. Since her parents didn't accept u wen u weren't married, is it now dat dey wi accept u? Just 4get her and u will see new u loving ur wife. If truely shezz ur wife, u wouldn't hv married dat ur town girl. God knows d best 4 u. Pls chill wit guinness malt and peak milk dear its well. Lolo1
As for me, I prefer marrying a girl that'll put me into much suffering before I get her, they are just the best bcos they know their worth, not just some random cheap girl.. Now the one who'll keep disturbing me to marry her, OYO is your last name..so if I was this guy, i'll feel the same way..
be patient with wifey it's quite hard 2 get over an old flame or should l say first love but with time & an open-mind; you'll learn 2 love ur wife more...
Oga marriage is different o. yes u may still be in love wt ur ex but what if u marry her too n find faults u never noticed before, what will u do. People still av emotional attachments to their ex even after marriage but hey with time it will fade if u wl focus on ur Wife.
If the girl you didnt marry loved you, she would have got her parents to accept you. It is clear she doesn't reciprocate your love. Some people pine for what isn't available. There were good qualities you found in your wife that made you marry her, those qualities will sustain your marriage, if you are ready to give the marriage a chance. Some people have married for just love and regretted it. Your wife didnt force you, you could have walked away. Give your marriage a chance.
Waoh.. I don't know what to say, but I know that you only live once and you can't be unhappy for the rest of ur life because you want to make odas happy. Pray and think about it well. You shouldn't feel trapped in a marriage. Ur children will suffer it when you start having them.. I wish you best of luck in any decision you make..
The lady refused to marry you. If she loved you like you claim to love her she should have fought her parents to allow her marry you but she didn't. You saw someone who agreed to marry you and you are acting like you are doing her a favour. Anyhow I would advice you to leave your wife so that she can find a good man to love and care for her while he appreciates her doing the same for him. It's your loss. I hope you guys don't have kids yet so that nothing ties you to each other for ever.
If you die, it won't stop the girl from marrying someone else & being happy with dat person. A word is enough for the wise. Linda take note!
Okiie, notice to all LIBERs. Didn't want to do dis before but I gex I just have to do it as a disclaimer. One idiot on dis blog stole my identity, my name & signage. So please any negative comments on dis blog is not coming from me but from the thief cos I would neva say anything bad about someone or wish anyone evil. So I have gone back to using my old pix. Linda take note!
I ve been in that situation. I can't wish it upon my enemy. I'm stil single til now bc no one can match Wat we felt for each other. I only moved on when I found a close comparison. Some people are just too lucky to find and live their dreams..Take heart brother,face ur marriage bc that girl gave up on U. I wouldn't make such mistake
Been in the same situation for six years bro, so I understand you, some time i feel like disssapearing ..Your heart always knows that one woman that can give you life but we most times end up marrying someone else... its hard , its hard and the bad part is that this accidental wives just have the best behavior and U cant find a fault to run away .
Hmmm this is a serriouse one.No one can really give you the best advise just take to god in prayers.Reading this just got me scared putting myself in his wife shoes.
I feel ur pain but u need to get a hold of ur emotions....pls don't think of polygamy, trust me all it has to offer is disadvantages and you can also speak to your pastor or counselor, i trust God to help you through it all.
So so sad! The truth is only you have the answer to this. The reason you aren't enjoying your marriage is because you aren't putting in work. You need to leave that fantasy life from before and get real. This is real.its so sad tribalism is the reason for yout unhappiness but You made a decision and you really can't/shouldn't deviate from it. You seem like a responsible person, I'm sure you know what to do...may God be your strength
Some Nigerian folks r just selfish. They often don't consider their children's happiness when hanging a woman on his neck and vice versa. Well dude, if I'm in your shoes i'll tell my ceremonial wife i do not love her and tell my folks too and walk out of d marriage. Damn d consequences! So u r going to be caged in d shakles of religious ethics and your parents wishes till u die? God forbid! Oshisco!
Divorce at once. Its useless sticking in a relationship that is worse than death. There are things one must not compromise. Otherwise, both of you will die in bondage.
Lol,bros try and get ur future,u need real deliverance pls visit Mfm for one,wats ur problem,u av a nice wife still u said u are not complete,d best solution now is to go to he'll to find solution...Mtcheew
No one forced you, you married this lady so what are you here yapping? Did she hold a gun to your head? You could have walked away but you refused you stayed so brother man up or stop cheating. Adultery can send you to hell, divorce won't.
I would advise you to be strong. I know you don`t feel happy in your marriage, but most people face that. The woman you love must be the right one. Even though they said she can`t marry a non Igbo, who cares? A 71 year old woman can get married to a 15 year old boy even though the whole world is against it. Just be strong. Try to fight for you happiness. Committing suicide is just admitting that you are a weak faliure. So, you can survive this. My prayers are with you.
That you laugh and etc with someone does not mean your marriage will last. Even best friends quarell. Stop holding on to what could have been and focus on what is
At this age and time, adult like you listened to your parent at the detriment of your own happiness*its archaic*... Please follow @lekealder on twitter about this issue and more.
There must b sth bout the other woan u married dt makes pple say she's good, but bcuz u hv closed ur heart u wnt find out. Open up ur heart to her.let her get to knw u nd u,know her... for the other woman, u shuld call it quit bcuz u will neva knw peace as long as ur a born again knowin ur committing adultery
Heyaaa, I can feel your pain. Being stuck with somebody you don't love is the worst thing ever. You have to get close to God and try your best to love her. Any mistake can lead you to a rough life which you'll regret. If you marry a second wife, even you will suffer it. Polygamy ain't easy. So the only option you have now is to focus on her good sides and get closer to God. Its just the devil that's messing with your brain with those depressing ideas. You can love her if you choose to. Forget the other lady and stop keeping contact with her. It'll make it easier for you
Be brave, it is a very sensitive issue. Is the Igbo girl STILL willing to marry you? Please before kids get involved and make it more complicated...please leave this lady, ask God forgiveness and undo ur mistake...the mistake was marrying a woman u just don't love, that's why the bible says husband love your wife...May God help and strengthen you. Trust me I wish the love of my life would have a rethink and come back to me...
My dear, as pope talk am today na so e bi. Go for separation and follow your heart so that you do not suffer in urn relationship. If u marry and u are not enjoying it, just separate and continue your life. No talk say na me talk. Ka chukwu mezie okwu
Agape love is a choice and not a feeling......So decide to love your wife and ask God for the grace. All that glitters is not gold. And besides no woman can complete you, that can only come from God. So I suggest you seek him more. Best of luck man but since you knew the marriage wasn't going to work out, you should not have gone thru with it, yet you choose to ignore your intuition and now your crying like a baby. Man up and take responsibility for the choice you have made.
Sick of all these babys winning over a decision you choose. TAKE 100% RESPONSIBILITY..............
I hate wen people stupidly say 'move on'. I feel ur pain man, these ladies believe only marriage bcos they wanna show off to their friends n upload shit. The truth is, u wont be fulfilled no matter ur wife's best.
My dear u made a huge mistake with ur eyes wide open. Now u are living with the consequences. In as much as I respect parents' views and opinion towards our choice of a partner, the final decision lies in ur hands, after all u get to spend the rest of ur life with whoever u choose. In this case, u got married 'cos 'everyone' but u, loved her. Everything is wrong. Obviously u ain't happy. Is either u resort to cheating, or ur marriage will hit the rocks sooner than later, unless a miracle happens. I've found out that its easier for a woman to grow to love a man who shows her lots of care than for a man to grow to love a woman who shows him double care. Its rare. So bro, its ur cross and u have to carry it. U walked into it with ur eyes wide open! If u find out that u are not happy after giving it ur all, any decision u wanna take is up to u. But pls, don't make ur wife unhappy 'cos she doesn't deserve it. Goodluck.
Dear you made a mistake, don't marry for pity or to fulfil other people's desire because you will be the one to suffer at the end. Follow your heart for you to be happy.
Please try and erase the thought of the other lady from ur mind and learn how to love and appreciate ur wife, read more about the Bible teachings on marriage, if u don't stop thinking of adultery and polygamy u wouldn't love ur wife well and not until u re trapped in blw two women u wouldn't value wat u have, dont allow ur emotions to control u instead u should be able to control ur emotion ,dey said a word is enough for the wise.
It gonna be difficult for you but with time your going to love the one your married to. Never think of polygamy cuz that girl may not be what you want from marriage,how come she didn't defy her parents to marry you,be wise and start to develop love for your woman.Love is what you built and not what you see
stick with your wife, the other woman is not good for you. focus on your wife love her and focus on God. your life will change and you will understand why God blessed you with your current wife.
Sorry o. I think I may be able to understand your plight. BUT YOU be small pikin? Death better than this? Polygamy? How? Has the Igbo girl and her parents changed their minds and now even appreciate second wife status? Don't worry, time changes everything. Just give it some time and you will become stoic to the situation; you'll become stone cold. If you don't become stone cold however, you fit run things with the Igbo girl and she fit become pregnant---- we see dat kain thing recently.
U are a 1st class womaniser! Dem put gun for ur face to must marry ur wife? Cheating is in ur dna, u are just looking for where to hinge it on. Repent o.
I can relate to the poster cos I'm in same situation. I am still in love with my ex, even though I am married to someone else.
Our society is to blame for all these. people should be allowed to choose their spouse, irrespective of tribal or religious differences.
My ex is married with twin boys, but he just doesn't love his wife, always travelling around and seeking the slightest opportunity to leave the house.
I on the other hand have been married for 2yrs and 7mths, but life with my husband is nothing to write home about. Have never kissed him except at our wedding reception, I don't feel like I belong here.
I blame my dad and my ex BF's mom for everything. So much for practing different religious faith... smh
Nobody put a chain on u and forced u to marry d girl, so d time to walk away was before not after, meanwhile where do u see God in all these? If u keep d oda girl as a second wife without anybody knowing, God will judge u bcos He sees all that happens in secret so be not deceived. U owe no one anything apart from God so go and sort urself out wit Him and as for ur wife, I don't know when marriage became by force why didn't she walk away after to told her d way u felt? Both of u sef!
Don't kill urself, don't be polygamous. God only can solve this. In fact lemme be honest with u. U should have aloud ur pple to talk u into marry someone u don't love, u a man, u shd have stood on ur ground. Now see how u feeling, you are the one handling the issue alone now. Those pple that called u selfish,are they there? NO. It's just u now.
I really believe pple should stop telling others who to marry, whoever tells me that, I m gonna slap the bi-jezus outta of that person
Bro, I feel you. I am in the same mess myself. I now have a lovely baby and that is the only reason i am still here. I almost took a job abroad to escape from her and start a new life there. Religion, culture and society insist that we sacrifice our personal happiness knowing fully well that life is short. Well...
you are an idiot, someone you begged said she cant marry you. Now you are married you can marry her. God punish you. Go home to your wife before you get caused.
Like seriously? He should pray about it? U peeps telling him to pray, I'm sorry to disappoint u, but God is not a joker. E.g, u see an acid and u know its dangerous yet u drink it and u pray to God to save u? My dearies, if u put ur hands into fire, u are definately going to be burnt and u shouldn't complain 'cos that's the consequence of that action! So cut out the crap. He should have used his common sense. Well, I guess common sense is not common after all.
Reading this post, I feel pity for you. But maybe if you could try (even though it is really really tough) to grow to love this woman you are married to. Try forgetting this lady, Have an open mind and see the positive aspect of this woman you are with and Most importantly, PRAY HARD to God. I promise you with time you will grow to love this woman you are with. Sometimes this is really how love works and you may even realise you were only infatuated with this other lady. As someone said the journey of love truly begins when a couple gets married. You may be surprised that you may eventually end up having one of the happier marriages. Again, the Lord is your strength. But please do not Cheat while married! It's never the answer.
Hnnnnn,, I know dis guy,,,,it is well!!!!am full of tears for the lady right now,,, My peeps how I wish u know dis other Yoruba lady his married too,she is full of life and very hard working!!!!i just pray God will direct her to d right path.
Try and start having kids... it should help redirect your feelings, atleast from loving your kids u could get to love their mom.. Children brighten homes!
You shouldn't have gone ahead with the marriage my dear. A broken engagement is way better than a broken relationship. I understand what you are going through... please follow your heart.
My dear, u need to let old things pass away. U need to make conscious effort to completely erase the igbo girl from ur memory. Love your wife n stop punishing yourself. Nobody forced u to say I do. N I tell you u didn't make no mistake. Polygamy is no solution rather it's gonna complicate issues. Above all, pray about it n let God help you.
My dear, u need to let old things pass away. U need to make conscious effort to completely erase the igbo girl from ur memory. Love your wife n stop punishing yourself. Nobody forced u to say I do. N I tell you u didn't make no mistake. Polygamy is no solution rather it's gonna complicate issues. Above all, pray about it n let God help you.
you know in your heart it will not be well for you if you leave your wife. forget the rubbish igbo woman and spend your time loving your wife and moving on with your family
I understand perfectly how u feel but what I can say is that u seek d face of God in this. Talk 2 ur pastor if u hav one or a religious person that u trust. My dear it is beta u tak action now dan live an unhapi life. Talk 2 ur family abt it as well.May d Lord be ur strength
The irony of the matter is... this "thing" pumping into your system now... there's a posibility/probability that it'll die a natural death after marrying this "unreachable" woman. so what's the point... and there's no going back after.
What I think is this... you're already married! thank God u still have the consciousness of religion in you. Just pray that the Lord would fill you with love for her. It would happen. Give it a chance and open your mind..... I get u. there's somfn about stolen meat... or meat that u hide to steal... it's actually seems sweeter. but it's the lie of the devil. It is not. So mr man! Learn to love your wife, work at it and be faithful! God bless you!
Ehyaa. I understand what you are going through. Am dating someone but my hrt lsl with another. Can't leave the boyfriend because he has done a lot for me.never cheated on him though. But this other guy is all I have ever dreamt about. Just the thought of him takes through the day. God grant me my heart desire....
You are f..kin selfish.Why drag the poor lady into the marriage in the first place when you damn know your heart belongs to another. Guy go hug tranformer for real...
If we don't let go of our past we can never move on to our glorious future. There is great reward for those dat embrace their present, and let go their past.
If he want to truly luv his wife, he wil hav forego his past r/ship or who so ever he had feelings for.
So d simple solution is in his hands to mak his marriage work, and b do d needful thereof. U can not claim dat all would hav b perfect wit dat other lady if he had got married to her.
No marriage is perfect, and he should make his marriage work or else he wil live to regret it.
As d saying goes "D devil u know is better than d angel u don't know".
If we don't let go of our past we can never move on to our glorious future. There is great reward for those dat embrace their present, and let go their past.
If he want to truly luv his wife, he wil hav forego his past r/ship or who so ever he had feelings for.
So d simple solution is in his hands to mak his marriage work, and b do d needful thereof. U can not claim dat all would hav b perfect wit dat other lady if he had got married to her.
No marriage is perfect, and he should make his marriage work or else he wil live to regret it.
As d saying goes "D devil u know is better than d angel u don't know".
If we don't let go of our past we can never move on to our glorious future. There is great reward for those dat embrace their present, and let go their past.
If he want to truly luv his wife, he wil hav forego his past r/ship or who so ever he had feelings for.
So d simple solution is in his hands to mak his marriage work, and b do d needful thereof. U can not claim dat all would hav b perfect wit dat other lady if he had got married to her.
No marriage is perfect, and he should make his marriage work or else he wil live to regret it.
As d saying goes "D devil u know is better than d angel u don't know".
If we don't let go of our past we can never move on to our glorious future. There is great reward for those dat embrace their present, and let go their past.
If he want to truly luv his wife, he wil hav forego his past r/ship or who so ever he had feelings for.
So d simple solution is in his hands to mak his marriage work, and b do d needful thereof. U can not claim dat all would hav b perfect wit dat other lady if he had got married to her.
No marriage is perfect, and he should make his marriage work or else he wil live to regret it.
As d saying goes "D devil u know is better than d angel u don't know".
This thing happen to most people and you will outgrow it. The Ibo gal doesn't love you if she does she will marry you irrespective. Go back and love your wife that God gave you jare!
God gives a perfect gift and add no sorrow to it! Your wife is the one that agreed to marry you. God isn't confused!
the greatest regret on ppls death beds is not doing what makes them happy and how they wasted their lives pleasing others. You shouldn't have married the girl if you didn't love her. end that marriage and find your happiness
Hnmmmm Antymi Linda,,,,i know dis guy...If u meet the Lady she is married to,,the lady is very hard working,, and very friendly,, and have sense dis since dir weding day,,but d lady refused,,she loved him...the guy na gold digger,he though their is money,,but unfortunately before d marriage he has been seeing it that,,d lady na hustler,, that why he said he doesn't want the marriage again.. May God Help me d lady,is a pity she doesn't read Linda Blog.
Trust me,u can love her even more,is just dt,u ain't letting d love out,cos u wanted d oda for which ever reason, u weren't force into marrying her,open urhrt n try loving her,u'll b hapi,em sure and also with prayers...
Trust me,u can love her even more,is just dt,u ain't letting d love out,cos u wanted d oda for which ever reason, u weren't force into marrying her,open urhrt n try loving her,u'll b hapi,em sure and also with prayers...
Ur yoruba or hausa ba? D main 2 tribes I know any ibo parent will strongly object to their daughter marrying into. Any ibo chic with traditional parents like mine shudnt even waste time in love with another tribe. Ur serzly on Ur own.
The miracle you expected is in your hands. As long as you keep your communication with the 'other' lady I pity you. The safe thing to do now is be a man and cut off that link. Then allow the little nutrient you have to feed your marriage branch with time a very short time live would come back to your marriage. Even if your religion had permitted you to break up and remarry, man when you get to 50 or thereabout you would have wasted your life already. There is an evil 'lust' that's by the corner to make a mess of you. Please keep your marraige the other lady is someone else's grow up and see it that way!
You know when you see fire and you are jumping into it,that where you are going to brother...what did you think marriage is...you can't get out of it...it could be easier now that u guys are not married bt trust me if u marry her you would never remain the same
Shit nigga dis is a mess. ..u shldnt Ave gon into d marriage man! U dnt listen to wat ppl say wen Makin decisions especially in dis institution (marriage)...it's lik choosing ur prison mate cos ya'll r locked in dere forever. ..ooooo, u shlda just continue to persuade d oda lady,let's b realistic,probly d oda lady wasn't redy 4 marriage or she didn't wanna marry u,if nt u can talk to her parents n mk dem trust u,she culda talked to dem if she wanted to...it'll deff take alot buh if it's worth it y not???...I dnt knw wat ur gon do.. buh u can't leave ur wife dear...just try and love her,b nice to her,dnt b mad...dnt try to leave her, u dnt knw if d oda lady really loves u dat much...well fink abouh it.
+wat do I knw, m just a young lady...n dats ma opinion.
Why didn't you consider the person you love before going into marriage? Try and develop love for her, cheating or polygamy is not an option. Don't subject ur wife to everlasting suffering simply because you don't love her. Erase the other lady's memory from ur mindM Then your wife can enjoy ur love 4 her.
U shudnt have gone ahead wit d marriage buh since its already done, I tink u shud try nd move on, poligamy no easy o, its just too bad. Learn 2 love ur wife nd pray 4 Gods love in ur hrt, He makes all tins perfect..... Gudluk
If U ever marry dat igbo girl,just one day her family will sell U n all ur property put togeda.forget her,God knws Y it's so.learn to love ur wife,teach her d things u want in ur ideal wife.
My advise to you is to open your heart and love your wife. It is because you have blocked your heart to her. Pray to God earnestly for your marriage. Polygamous life is even worse than your current situation.
U knw she is wrong for u, u still married her. Pls leave now dat u guys don't have kids and go and live in sin with ur igbo girl. Both of u can wait til her parents grow old or even die.
U allow your emotions to control u Oga. U better wake up. Stay with your wife invest d time n energy for the other lady into something reasonable. Did I hear u say sometimes u feel like to kill yourself. My brother kindly go ahead n kill yourself pls.
Now you trying to condemn Igbo girls ba? God don catch you its not only polygamy it's polyandry odeeeee. You have choppest d Igbo girls money finish ba? Now you want to move abi? Anya nyo gu dia once ara
How I hate you Willamina moses, how about you drinking cement. If ever have the opportunity I'd kill you and bonario I swear and sorry I'm Igbo. Hate you two for life!
i feel what u re passing through i have passed through such is not an easy experience. anybody dat has not been in such condition will not understand. just focus on one thing dat she dose dat u like most. spend more tym togada with her talk with her at lenght each day. stop thicking abt ur former n wonderful tym u guys spent togada i know it will not be easy but u will win. All pray abt it and i know dat our father in heaven will never allow ur home to break in jesus name.... Amen
In the words of the late Luther Vandross, if you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you with. You chose your wife, so choose to love her, see her, give yourself over to her and put the past where it belongs, in the past.
Men need to start being men and making their own decisions on who they choose to make a wife instead of going along with the family. Is the family going to live with her? Are they going to sex her for you? Is it them who have to wake up to her face first thing in the morning and last thing at nights? Is it the family's ears who will have to listen to her voice day in day out? Start having backbones and know when your heart lean to one woman and hers lean to yours to fight for it, and stop being fcking weaklings acting like y'all still at your mama's breasts and can't make a life choice for yourselves. If you are a leader they will follow, they may not like it, but they will have to accept it. Now you're home making this innocent woman's life miserable because your no testicles having ass could not do the right thing from jump. Set your wife free so a real man can give her the 100% love and dedication she deserves or love her and move the hell on and accept the choice YOU made.
you made the first mistake, you shouldn't have married your wife knowing that you still loved someone else, we fall in love more than once in life and you should have waited till you saw the right person. Whatever you do to the detriment of your marriage would be considered cruel because no one forced you into it, you walked into it with your wits about you. So man up and be the man you promised to be in front of God "for better or worse."
As long as u still have the contact of ur ex. U will never know peace in ur heart. Y not teach ur wife what u liw. I bet u she will be s best thing in ur life. God have a reason y u did not marry ur ex. Work on ur family. Is in ur hand s. With time u wil even b happy u did not marry ur ex. I bet u more trouble awaita you if u marry ur ex. U will know d difference BTW relationship n marriage.
I hear, n who says u can't get over d Igbo girl? U can't or don't want to?....coz wen it comes dese feelings ,i believe dat one can always "live n love again" no matter how intense ur previous love was. U can't tel me dat u hv tried to put ur mind into seeing n appreciating everything gud in ur wife n still u can't at least come to like her for starters.....dese are all fallacies.
Is this not the husband to,"http://lindaikeji.blogspot.it/2015/06/dear-lib-readers-my-husband-constantly.html?m=1".
My dear, God doesn't allow anything to happen if He doesn't know about it.No matter who you have loved, been with , no matter the years. ..you have gone before man and God to say "till death do you part",that oath you took especially before God is a worst thing to do when broken than you accepting not to marry who your heart beats for.Pray for you to love your wife and build your family, there's nothing prayers can't do. For you to agree to your wife - the day you say " I Do"( and stop addressing her as this lady) every love and feelings you have for that other lady is dead and buried that very day,so, what are you going to get from her if you leave your wife and go to your ex when her love for you is dead and buried?
Your ex will be fine, you know she will, pray for her and cut all links with her for you to have peace in your mind and home.Your home and wife first over any other woman.Dont you think that is why you married your wife because with your ex, it aint going to work, your paths are only meant to cross.
It is well with you, I pray that God gives you eyes of understanding to see that what you have is gold (your wife).#beentherebefore.
am in the same shoe with you only that am not married yet, people see more than and what you cannot see + your love with the igbo maybe short-lived,find a way to love your wife and you will reap the gains.marriage is far more than love as i believe but the comfort and peace even if she's not up to your standard ,brush her up and always give compliments.you wont regret it
Be patience with wifey it's quite hard 2 get over an old flame or should l say first love but with time & an open-mind; you'll learn 2 love ur wife more...
you begged her on your kneels when u were single and she refused to marry you, but now u re married and she wants to accept you? "you re even thinking polygamy" my guy the devil is after your marriage. simple
i just do not understand those who say he made a mistake by marrying his wife! he wrote that the Igbo girl refused to marry him due to her parents' resistance. End of matter! She does not want to marry you, period! go take a hike
I Knw this couple.Dont mind the guy,he neva made any attempt to make the marriage work.And I don't think he is coaxed into this bcos he proposed to the latter and even travel down from abroad for the introduction.He just double minded and selfish.The guy has deserted his wife for over 1yr plus and does not come home nor call.Love is smthing that has been nurtured and built.If he investing the volume of energy he is putting in the extra-marital affairs into his marriage things will be different,afterall you once loved your wife and no one toasted her for you.Religion apart now,people don't understand that peoples emotion are not to be toiled with.
No matter what, you shouldn't have married her since u know u don't love her. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Maybe is the polygamy u end up to.
195 comments:
Just move on..not do or die
Is well wit u
Take it to prayers and not libers. Lindaobserve
Pray abt it
Get hold of your emotions and be a man.
New post published! Check it pls and share the blog link. Thanks.
Ur thinking polygamy! Biko nwanne go drink ota pia pia... Anya ukwu ga egbu GI!
Hmmmmmmm ooooooo
Oga acept ur faith
U DEY CRASE!
Pray n pray
Kuku die. Oponu
Stale!!!!! As in i had to flinch
So why do I think this can be the same thing that happened to Toke Makinwa. His choice but marriage is to be enjoyed not endured
Sowie
What an interesting fabrication. Ohk, my point is the igbo girl Bo love you, because is she did love you she wouldn't have listened to her family. Women are naturally stubborn, they always go for what they want. So the babe doesn't see you as her potential husband just as a friend. So better face your marriage before you let a selfish friendship ruin you.
Dear pls move-on cos u are married already. Since her parents didn't accept u wen u weren't married, is it now dat dey wi accept u? Just 4get her and u will see new u loving ur wife. If truely shezz ur wife, u wouldn't hv married dat ur town girl. God knows d best 4 u. Pls chill wit guinness malt and peak milk dear its well. Lolo1
As for me, I prefer marrying a girl that'll put me into much suffering before I get her, they are just the best bcos they know their worth, not just some random cheap girl.. Now the one who'll keep disturbing me to marry her, OYO is your last name..so if I was this guy, i'll feel the same way..
Mumu @ Davido's driver
Moron
Mumu
Senseless comment
Foolishness in the highest order
Mumu goes to school
Feel ur pain just so unfortunate we are in a society places tribe @ the detriment our happiness. God help you.
Gobe! Maybe you shouldn't have married her since u don't love her. I advice u carry ur cross because u signed up for this
Your comment will be visible after approval
be patient with wifey
it's quite hard 2 get over an old flame or should l say first love
but with time & an open-mind; you'll learn 2 love ur wife more...
You av inprison urself......Bt I cant tell you wat to do....Its all on you...Sowie
Moye says so via BB Passport...Courtesy LIB......
Hmmmm! It's really crazy, which I know, buh just pray ova ND ova it again, let God direct u
Heya
Hmmmmm are u a learner?
This is hard...I know ȾђѧϮ feeling!
Nwanne ihukwara ihe ahu ooo. Ihe umunwanyi igbo na ebute.
Oga marriage is different o. yes u may still be in love wt ur ex but what if u marry her too n find faults u never noticed before, what will u do. People still av emotional attachments to their ex even after marriage but hey with time it will fade if u wl focus on ur Wife.
Lol
Dem force you to marry her?
Why did you her in the first place?
Marriage is for better,for worse.until death do u part.
Please work on your written English.... Linda you should have edited this before posting na
Oga owe your egg plant and put it in ya trouser
If the girl you didnt marry loved you, she would have got her parents to accept you. It is clear she doesn't reciprocate your love. Some people pine for what isn't available. There were good qualities you found in your wife that made you marry her, those qualities will sustain your marriage, if you are ready to give the marriage a chance. Some people have married for just love and regretted it. Your wife didnt force you, you could have walked away. Give your marriage a chance.
@waheed aka a typical illitrate omo oduduwa,it is fate not faith.Dont thank me, go back to school.
Ugheghu igbo girls rock, I don't blame the fella! Love nwa nti nti
Rubbish!!
waheed,it is accept not acept.yoruba man.
Waoh.. I don't know what to say, but I know that you only live once and you can't be unhappy for the rest of ur life because you want to make odas happy. Pray and think about it well. You shouldn't feel trapped in a marriage. Ur children will suffer it when you start having them.. I wish you best of luck in any decision you make..
The lady refused to marry you. If she loved you like you claim to love her she should have fought her parents to allow her marry you but she didn't. You saw someone who agreed to marry you and you are acting like you are doing her a favour. Anyhow I would advice you to leave your wife so that she can find a good man to love and care for her while he appreciates her doing the same for him. It's your loss. I hope you guys don't have kids yet so that nothing ties you to each other for ever.
If you die, it won't stop the girl from marrying someone else & being happy with dat person. A word is enough for the wise. Linda take note!
Okiie, notice to all LIBERs. Didn't want to do dis before but I gex I just have to do it as a disclaimer. One idiot on dis blog stole my identity, my name & signage. So please any negative comments on dis blog is not coming from me but from the thief cos I would neva say anything bad about someone or wish anyone evil. So I have gone back to using my old pix. Linda take note!
I ve been in that situation. I can't wish it upon my enemy. I'm stil single til now bc no one can match Wat we felt for each other. I only moved on when I found a close comparison. Some people are just too lucky to find and live their dreams..Take heart brother,face ur marriage bc that girl gave up on U. I wouldn't make such mistake
Is this Maje? Toke makinwa's husband? Just asking tho
Been in the same situation for six years bro, so I understand you, some time i feel like disssapearing ..Your heart always knows that one woman that can give you life but we most times end up marrying someone else... its hard , its hard and the bad part is that this accidental wives just have the best behavior and U cant find a fault to run away .
Y marry her in the 1st place,displeasing urself to please sm1 else.infact u just put yourselves in an awkward position
Hmmm this is a serriouse one.No one can really give you the best advise just take to god in prayers.Reading this just got me scared putting myself in his wife shoes.
Take it to God in prayer.
I feel ur pain but u need to get a hold of ur emotions....pls don't think of polygamy, trust me all it has to offer is disadvantages and you can also speak to your pastor or counselor, i trust God to help you through it all.
So so sad! The truth is only you have the answer to this. The reason you aren't enjoying your marriage is because you aren't putting in work. You need to leave that fantasy life from before and get real. This is real.its so sad tribalism is the reason for yout unhappiness but You made a decision and you really can't/shouldn't deviate from it. You seem like a responsible person, I'm sure you know what to do...may God be your strength
Wtf!!! Dude pls go and fucking kill yourself, bitch ass nigga
Some Nigerian folks r just selfish. They often don't consider their children's happiness when hanging a woman on his neck and vice versa. Well dude, if I'm in your shoes i'll tell my ceremonial wife i do not love her and tell my folks too and walk out of d marriage. Damn d consequences! So u r going to be caged in d shakles of religious ethics and your parents wishes till u die? God forbid! Oshisco!
Mtcheeewwww...!!!
Stupid girl with wood brain, dis wat u could say to someone in need of advice?
Fine jst go bak to ur igbo gal cos I knw she handles u well on bed and ur yoruba gf cant come close at all no competition.
Divorce at once. Its useless sticking in a relationship that is worse than death. There are things one must not compromise. Otherwise, both of you will die in bondage.
Concentrate on luvg ha. Put in ur luv for ha. U will realise she s a treasure
you are greedy and you talk like a child . think. what youre feeling is definitely not love
Kunle? Shey na u be that? Na wa for you ooo, why you go dey publicize your private matters like that na, Take it to God in prayer and not LIB.
Lol,bros try and get ur future,u need real deliverance pls visit Mfm for one,wats ur problem,u av a nice wife still u said u are not complete,d best solution now is to go to he'll to find solution...Mtcheew
No one forced you, you married this lady so what are you here yapping? Did she hold a gun to your head? You could have walked away but you refused you stayed so brother man up or stop cheating. Adultery can send you to hell, divorce won't.
I would advise you to be strong. I know you don`t feel happy in your marriage, but most people face that. The woman you love must be the right one. Even though they said she can`t marry a non Igbo, who cares? A 71 year old woman can get married to a 15 year old boy even though the whole world is against it. Just be strong. Try to fight for you happiness. Committing suicide is just admitting that you are a weak faliure. So, you can survive this. My prayers are with you.
That you laugh and etc with someone does not mean your marriage will last. Even best friends quarell. Stop holding on to what could have been and focus on what is
At this age and time, adult like you listened to your parent at the detriment of your own happiness*its archaic*... Please follow @lekealder on twitter about this issue and more.
Spend more time on ur writing skills instead of thinking abt anor woman
Teach how to do those things dat d other lady is doing dat is making u fall for her
There must b sth bout the other woan u married dt makes pple say she's good, but bcuz u hv closed ur heart u wnt find out. Open up ur heart to her.let her get to knw u nd u,know her... for the other woman, u shuld call it quit bcuz u will neva knw peace as long as ur a born again knowin ur committing adultery
Heyaaa, I can feel your pain. Being stuck with somebody you don't love is the worst thing ever. You have to get close to God and try your best to love her. Any mistake can lead you to a rough life which you'll regret. If you marry a second wife, even you will suffer it. Polygamy ain't easy. So the only option you have now is to focus on her good sides and get closer to God. Its just the devil that's messing with your brain with those depressing ideas. You can love her if you choose to. Forget the other lady and stop keeping contact with her. It'll make it easier for you
Boring comments full this blog. Almost everybody sounds like 15 yr olds. Yahoo over Linda any day.
Prayer is the key
Sorry.
Just follow your heart.. Marriage is a union to be enjoyed and not to endure... Is not a prison yard.. Move on. Life is too short to wallow in pain..
Hmmmmm. I feel you. Just pray. God can fix it.
Be brave, it is a very sensitive issue. Is the Igbo girl STILL willing to marry you? Please before kids get involved and make it more complicated...please leave this lady, ask God forgiveness and undo ur mistake...the mistake was marrying a woman u just don't love, that's why the bible says husband love your wife...May God help and strengthen you.
Trust me I wish the love of my life would have a rethink and come back to me...
#UnoWell@all ...... u met d igbo gurl,then what happened? Hian...smh
My dear, as pope talk am today na so e bi. Go for separation and follow your heart so that you do not suffer in urn relationship.
If u marry and u are not enjoying it, just separate and continue your life.
No talk say na me talk.
Ka chukwu mezie okwu
sorry dear
Agape love is a choice and not a feeling......So decide to love your wife and ask God for the grace. All that glitters is not gold. And besides no woman can complete you, that can only come from God. So I suggest you seek him more. Best of luck man but since you knew the marriage wasn't going to work out, you should not have gone thru with it, yet you choose to ignore your intuition and now your crying like a baby. Man up and take responsibility for the choice you have made.
Sick of all these babys winning over a decision you choose. TAKE 100% RESPONSIBILITY..............
Lol, Libers una no dey get mercy for pple at all
I hate wen people stupidly say 'move on'. I feel ur pain man, these ladies believe only marriage bcos they wanna show off to their friends n upload shit.
The truth is, u wont be fulfilled no matter ur wife's best.
My dear u made a huge mistake with ur eyes wide open. Now u are living with the consequences. In as much as I respect parents' views and opinion towards our choice of a partner, the final decision lies in ur hands, after all u get to spend the rest of ur life with whoever u choose. In this case, u got married 'cos 'everyone' but u, loved her. Everything is wrong. Obviously u ain't happy. Is either u resort to cheating, or ur marriage will hit the rocks sooner than later, unless a miracle happens. I've found out that its easier for a woman to grow to love a man who shows her lots of care than for a man to grow to love a woman who shows him double care. Its rare. So bro, its ur cross and u have to carry it. U walked into it with ur eyes wide open! If u find out that u are not happy after giving it ur all, any decision u wanna take is up to u. But pls, don't make ur wife unhappy 'cos she doesn't deserve it. Goodluck.
#TeamBlessed#
Dear you made a mistake, don't marry for pity or to fulfil other people's desire because you will be the one to suffer at the end. Follow your heart for you to be happy.
Please try and erase the thought of the other lady from ur mind and learn how to love and appreciate ur wife, read more about the Bible teachings on marriage, if u don't stop thinking of adultery and polygamy u wouldn't love ur wife well and not until u re trapped in blw two women u wouldn't value wat u have, dont allow ur emotions to control u instead u should be able to control ur emotion ,dey said a word is enough for the wise.
Take it to God in prayers before u lose on both sides.
When religion makes you a prisoner.
Linda, get better fiction writers. Haba!
It gonna be difficult for you but with time your going to love the one your married to. Never think of polygamy cuz that girl may not be what you want from marriage,how come she didn't defy her parents to marry you,be wise and start to develop love for your woman.Love is what you built and not what you see
stick with your wife, the other woman is not good for you. focus on your wife love her and focus on God. your life will change and you will understand why God blessed you with your current wife.
Oga, pls follow ur mind. If u think to go polygamy will solve ur problem. Give it a try
marriage can be killing.
Oga, pls follow ur mind, if u think polygamy will solve ur problem give a try.
Sorry o. I think I may be able to understand your plight. BUT YOU be small pikin? Death better than this? Polygamy? How? Has the Igbo girl and her parents changed their minds and now even appreciate second wife status? Don't worry, time changes everything. Just give it some time and you will become stoic to the situation; you'll become stone cold. If you don't become stone cold however, you fit run things with the Igbo girl and she fit become pregnant---- we see dat kain thing recently.
U are a 1st class womaniser! Dem put gun for ur face to must marry ur wife? Cheating is in ur dna, u are just looking for where to hinge it on. Repent o.
I can relate to the poster cos I'm in same situation. I am still in love with my ex, even though I am married to someone else.
Our society is to blame for all these. people should be allowed to choose their spouse, irrespective of tribal or religious differences.
My ex is married with twin boys, but he just doesn't love his wife, always travelling around and seeking the slightest opportunity to leave the house.
I on the other hand have been married for 2yrs and 7mths, but life with my husband is nothing to write home about. Have never kissed him except at our wedding reception, I don't feel like I belong here.
I blame my dad and my ex BF's mom for everything. So much for practing different religious faith... smh
Oga if u go into polygamy u worsen ur case...i believe if u want to love ur wife u will...u r married already and nobody forced u..be a man.
Hahaha d lord is your strength
Nobody put a chain on u and forced u to marry d girl, so d time to walk away was before not after, meanwhile where do u see God in all these? If u keep d oda girl as a second wife without anybody knowing, God will judge u bcos He sees all that happens in secret so be not deceived. U owe no one anything apart from God so go and sort urself out wit Him and as for ur wife, I don't know when marriage became by force why didn't she walk away after to told her d way u felt? Both of u sef!
Don't kill urself, don't be polygamous. God only can solve this. In fact lemme be honest with u. U should have aloud ur pple to talk u into marry someone u don't love, u a man, u shd have stood on ur ground. Now see how u feeling, you are the one handling the issue alone now. Those pple that called u selfish,are they there? NO. It's just u now.
I really believe pple should stop telling others who to marry, whoever tells me that, I m gonna slap the bi-jezus outta of that person
Bro, I feel you. I am in the same mess myself. I now have a lovely baby and that is the only reason i am still here. I almost took a job abroad to escape from her and start a new life there. Religion, culture and society insist that we sacrifice our personal happiness knowing fully well that life is short. Well...
Hmmm...Oga! **Mimi**
you are an idiot, someone you begged said she cant marry you. Now you are married you can marry her. God punish you. Go home to your wife before you get caused.
learn to stick to your woman and love her
Lol. You just sounded like my mother.
I dey feel u bro
Love makes one do stupid tinz! Bruh accept ur fate
Oriegwu
Like seriously? He should pray about it? U peeps telling him to pray, I'm sorry to disappoint u, but God is not a joker. E.g, u see an acid and u know its dangerous yet u drink it and u pray to God to save u? My dearies, if u put ur hands into fire, u are definately going to be burnt and u shouldn't complain 'cos that's the consequence of that action! So cut out the crap. He should have used his common sense. Well, I guess common sense is not common after all.
#TeamBlessed#
Reading this post, I feel pity for you. But maybe if you could try (even though it is really really tough) to grow to love this woman you are married to. Try forgetting this lady, Have an open mind and see the positive aspect of this woman you are with and Most importantly, PRAY HARD to God. I promise you with time you will grow to love this woman you are with. Sometimes this is really how love works and you may even realise you were only infatuated with this other lady. As someone said the journey of love truly begins when a couple gets married. You may be surprised that you may eventually end up having one of the happier marriages. Again, the Lord is your strength. But please do not Cheat while married! It's never the answer.
prayer hard
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Lmao suicide is d best option
Wch is suicide......Nigga go kill ursef
Gosh! This English of yours can murder you before you attempt suicide.
Hnmmm,,, Habib!!!!!!
It's your cross. You had better carry it and talk to your God
Hnnnnn,, I know dis guy,,,,it is well!!!!am full of tears for the lady right now,,, My peeps how I wish u know dis other Yoruba lady his married too,she is full of life and very hard working!!!!i just pray God will direct her to d right path.
Try and start having kids... it should help redirect your feelings, atleast from loving your kids u could get to love their mom.. Children brighten homes!
You shouldn't have gone ahead with the marriage my dear. A broken engagement is way better than a broken relationship. I understand what you are going through... please follow your heart.
My dear, u need to let old things pass away. U need to make conscious effort to completely erase the igbo girl from ur memory. Love your wife n stop punishing yourself. Nobody forced u to say I do. N I tell you u didn't make no mistake. Polygamy is no solution rather it's gonna complicate issues. Above all, pray about it n let God help you.
My dear, u need to let old things pass away. U need to make conscious effort to completely erase the igbo girl from ur memory. Love your wife n stop punishing yourself. Nobody forced u to say I do. N I tell you u didn't make no mistake. Polygamy is no solution rather it's gonna complicate issues. Above all, pray about it n let God help you.
God should punish you and your igbo woman
I understand this story perfectly
Bro! Try build a family with ur wife and forget the Igbo lady.
you know in your heart it will not be well for you if you leave your wife. forget the rubbish igbo woman and spend your time loving your wife and moving on with your family
I understand perfectly how u feel but what I can say is that u seek d face of God in this. Talk 2 ur pastor if u hav one or a religious person that u trust. My dear it is beta u tak action now dan live an unhapi life. Talk 2 ur family abt it as well.May d Lord be ur strength
Eiyaaaaaa..happens
The irony of the matter is... this "thing" pumping into your system now... there's a posibility/probability that it'll die a natural death after marrying this "unreachable" woman. so what's the point... and there's no going back after.
What I think is this... you're already married! thank God u still have the consciousness of religion in you. Just pray that the Lord would fill you with love for her. It would happen. Give it a chance and open your mind..... I get u. there's somfn about stolen meat... or meat that u hide to steal... it's actually seems sweeter. but it's the lie of the devil. It is not. So mr man! Learn to love your wife, work at it and be faithful! God bless you!
U want all diss bad mouth pple on LIB to finish? Especially wilheminna moses dat is so frustrated and see no good in others...
Ehyaa. I understand what you are going through. Am dating someone but my hrt lsl with another. Can't leave the boyfriend because he has done a lot for me.never cheated on him though. But this other guy is all I have ever dreamt about. Just the thought of him takes through the day. God grant me my heart desire....
You are f..kin selfish.Why drag the poor lady into the marriage in the first place when you damn know your heart belongs to another. Guy go hug tranformer for real...
Hmmm,pls,whatever makes u happy do it coz life z 2 short..
If we don't let go of our past we can never move on to our glorious future. There is great reward for those dat embrace their present, and let go their past.
If he want to truly luv his wife, he wil hav forego his past r/ship or who so ever he had feelings for.
So d simple solution is in his hands to mak his marriage work, and b do d needful thereof. U can not claim dat all would hav b perfect wit dat other lady if he had got married to her.
No marriage is perfect, and he should make his marriage work or else he wil live to regret it.
As d saying goes "D devil u know is better than d angel u don't know".
If we don't let go of our past we can never move on to our glorious future. There is great reward for those dat embrace their present, and let go their past.
If he want to truly luv his wife, he wil hav forego his past r/ship or who so ever he had feelings for.
So d simple solution is in his hands to mak his marriage work, and b do d needful thereof. U can not claim dat all would hav b perfect wit dat other lady if he had got married to her.
No marriage is perfect, and he should make his marriage work or else he wil live to regret it.
As d saying goes "D devil u know is better than d angel u don't know".
If we don't let go of our past we can never move on to our glorious future. There is great reward for those dat embrace their present, and let go their past.
If he want to truly luv his wife, he wil hav forego his past r/ship or who so ever he had feelings for.
So d simple solution is in his hands to mak his marriage work, and b do d needful thereof. U can not claim dat all would hav b perfect wit dat other lady if he had got married to her.
No marriage is perfect, and he should make his marriage work or else he wil live to regret it.
As d saying goes "D devil u know is better than d angel u don't know".
If we don't let go of our past we can never move on to our glorious future. There is great reward for those dat embrace their present, and let go their past.
If he want to truly luv his wife, he wil hav forego his past r/ship or who so ever he had feelings for.
So d simple solution is in his hands to mak his marriage work, and b do d needful thereof. U can not claim dat all would hav b perfect wit dat other lady if he had got married to her.
No marriage is perfect, and he should make his marriage work or else he wil live to regret it.
As d saying goes "D devil u know is better than d angel u don't know".
This thing happen to most people and you will outgrow it.
The Ibo gal doesn't love you if she does she will marry you irrespective. Go back and love your wife that God gave you jare!
God gives a perfect gift and add no sorrow to it! Your wife is the one that agreed to marry you. God isn't confused!
the greatest regret on ppls death beds is not doing what makes them happy and how they wasted their lives pleasing others. You shouldn't have married the girl if you didn't love her. end that marriage and find your happiness
Hnmmmm Antymi Linda,,,,i know dis guy...If u meet the Lady she is married to,,the lady is very hard working,, and very friendly,, and have sense dis since dir weding day,,but d lady refused,,she loved him...the guy na gold digger,he though their is money,,but unfortunately before d marriage he has been seeing it that,,d lady na hustler,, that why he said he doesn't want the marriage again.. May God Help me d lady,is a pity she doesn't read Linda Blog.
This man sound very confused with his vocabulary. Why won't he be confused in relationships..smh!
Linda pls put my comment so dis idiot will know that I saw dis!!!!
I see this guy as an indecisive man, someone that doesn't know his right from his left. Why is he inflicting so much emotional pain on his wife?
Am doing my best to make dis marriage work,,,ur view is Noted!!!
I don't pity your wife. Serves her right.
Pls divorce.
Trust me,u can love her even more,is just dt,u ain't letting d love out,cos u wanted d oda for which ever reason, u weren't force into marrying her,open urhrt n try loving her,u'll b hapi,em sure and also with prayers...
It's is wel my dear,open ur hrt,let out dt love,u can do it my dear, do a lot of praying too.
Trust me,u can love her even more,is just dt,u ain't letting d love out,cos u wanted d oda for which ever reason, u weren't force into marrying her,open urhrt n try loving her,u'll b hapi,em sure and also with prayers...
Ur yoruba or hausa ba? D main 2 tribes I know any ibo parent will strongly object to their daughter marrying into. Any ibo chic with traditional parents like mine shudnt even waste time in love with another tribe. Ur serzly on Ur own.
Choose life. Have courage. Move on and be happy with your Igbo girl.
The miracle you expected is in your hands. As long as you keep your communication with the 'other' lady I pity you. The safe thing to do now is be a man and cut off that link. Then allow the little nutrient you have to feed your marriage branch with time a very short time live would come back to your marriage. Even if your religion had permitted you to break up and remarry, man when you get to 50 or thereabout you would have wasted your life already. There is an evil 'lust' that's by the corner to make a mess of you. Please keep your marraige the other lady is someone else's grow up and see it that way!
I get pissed off wit ur comment sometimes. Instead of u to advice him u're talkin rubbish like a low profile idiot wit wide wet pussy.
hmmmmmmmmm. person wey no gree marry u, u dey die for? hmmmmmmm
You know when you see fire and you are jumping into it,that where you are going to brother...what did you think marriage is...you can't get out of it...it could be easier now that u guys are not married bt trust me if u marry her you would never remain the same
Thinking she will change. U ar God dat will change her? Bro even me no fit help u carry ur cross o better u bend down and carry am.
Thinking she will change. U ar God dat will change her? Bro even me no fit help u carry ur cross o better u bend down and carry am.
you are a big fool if you leave your wife
Take it easily, Biko.
Don't try it
Be a man. Don't mess up ur home because u love another...learn to love ur wife.
Nop
Shit nigga dis is a mess. ..u shldnt Ave gon into d marriage man! U dnt listen to wat ppl say wen Makin decisions especially in dis institution (marriage)...it's lik choosing ur prison mate cos ya'll r locked in dere forever. ..ooooo, u shlda just continue to persuade d oda lady,let's b realistic,probly d oda lady wasn't redy 4 marriage or she didn't wanna marry u,if nt u can talk to her parents n mk dem trust u,she culda talked to dem if she wanted to...it'll deff take alot buh if it's worth it y not???...I dnt knw wat ur gon do.. buh u can't leave ur wife dear...just try and love her,b nice to her,dnt b mad...dnt try to leave her, u dnt knw if d oda lady really loves u dat much...well fink abouh it.
+wat do I knw, m just a young lady...n dats ma opinion.
Why didn't you consider the person you love before going into marriage? Try and develop love for her, cheating or polygamy is not an option. Don't subject ur wife to everlasting suffering simply because you don't love her. Erase the other lady's memory from ur mindM Then your wife can enjoy ur love 4 her.
Seriously!!!!! @wilheminna
Move on dude and learn to luv ur wife
Am tired of all dis marriage palava.... If its not workin den walk out... No time 2 waste time bt by ur time there's time
U shudnt have gone ahead wit d marriage buh since its already done, I tink u shud try nd move on, poligamy no easy o, its just too bad. Learn 2 love ur wife nd pray 4 Gods love in ur hrt, He makes all tins perfect..... Gudluk
Seriously!!!!! @wilheminna
Hmmmm
Hmmmm
If U ever marry dat igbo girl,just one day her family will sell U n all ur property put togeda.forget her,God knws Y it's so.learn to love ur wife,teach her d things u want in ur ideal wife.
Die na make u leave these women alone. Dem force you? Agbaya
My advise to you is to open your heart and love your wife. It is because you have blocked your heart to her. Pray to God earnestly for your marriage. Polygamous life is even worse than your current situation.
Take tins easy! Beta 2 step out dan deathe or polygamy bcoz ur current wife doesn't deserve dat. Man up nd end it.
U knw she is wrong for u, u still married her. Pls leave now dat u guys don't have kids and go and live in sin with ur igbo girl. Both of u can wait til her parents grow old or even die.
Wicked man.
No comment... Go to your Pastor
U allow your emotions to control u Oga. U better wake up. Stay with your wife invest d time n energy for the other lady into something reasonable. Did I hear u say sometimes u feel like to kill yourself. My brother kindly go ahead n kill yourself pls.
Make you go die then you go see the one way pay pass.....you see wife you no happy people dey wey no get one.. ODE
You better focus on your wife and try forget the other lady before you mess your life up mtewww!!!
You better focus on your wife and try forget the other lady before you mess your life up mtewww!!!
Fool
Now you trying to condemn Igbo girls ba? God don catch you its not only polygamy it's polyandry odeeeee. You have choppest d Igbo girls money finish ba? Now you want to move abi? Anya nyo gu dia once ara
How I hate you Willamina moses, how about you drinking cement. If ever have the opportunity I'd kill you and bonario I swear and sorry I'm Igbo. Hate you two for life!
i feel what u re passing through i have passed through such is not an easy experience. anybody dat has not been in such condition will not understand. just focus on one thing dat she dose dat u like most. spend more tym togada with her talk with her at lenght each day. stop thicking abt ur former n wonderful tym u guys spent togada i know it will not be easy but u will win. All pray abt it and i know dat our father in heaven will never allow ur home to break in jesus name.... Amen
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In the words of the late Luther Vandross, if you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you with. You chose your wife, so choose to love her, see her, give yourself over to her and put the past where it belongs, in the past.
Men need to start being men and making their own decisions on who they choose to make a wife instead of going along with the family. Is the family going to live with her? Are they going to sex her for you? Is it them who have to wake up to her face first thing in the morning and last thing at nights? Is it the family's ears who will have to listen to her voice day in day out? Start having backbones and know when your heart lean to one woman and hers lean to yours to fight for it, and stop being fcking weaklings acting like y'all still at your mama's breasts and can't make a life choice for yourselves. If you are a leader they will follow, they may not like it, but they will have to accept it. Now you're home making this innocent woman's life miserable because your no testicles having ass could not do the right thing from jump. Set your wife free so a real man can give her the 100% love and dedication she deserves or love her and move the hell on and accept the choice YOU made.
you made the first mistake, you shouldn't have married your wife knowing that you still loved someone else, we fall in love more than once in life and you should have waited till you saw the right person. Whatever you do to the detriment of your marriage would be considered cruel because no one forced you into it, you walked into it with your wits about you. So man up and be the man you promised to be in front of God "for better or worse."
Aawwww :(
What an unpleasant situation u'r in!
I like this guy
Love ur wife and pray for ur family
As long as u still have the contact of ur ex. U will never know peace in ur heart. Y not teach ur wife what u liw. I bet u she will be s best thing in ur life. God have a reason y u did not marry ur ex. Work on ur family. Is in ur hand s. With time u wil even b happy u did not marry ur ex. I bet u more trouble awaita you if u marry ur ex. U will know d difference BTW relationship n marriage.
I hear, n who says u can't get over d Igbo girl? U can't or don't want to?....coz wen it comes dese feelings ,i believe dat one can always "live n love again" no matter how intense ur previous love was. U can't tel me dat u hv tried to put ur mind into seeing n appreciating everything gud in ur wife n still u can't at least come to like her for starters.....dese are all fallacies.
Is this not the husband to,"http://lindaikeji.blogspot.it/2015/06/dear-lib-readers-my-husband-constantly.html?m=1".
My dear, God doesn't allow anything to happen if He doesn't know about it.No matter who you have loved, been with , no matter the years. ..you have gone before man and God to say "till death do you part",that oath you took especially before God is a worst thing to do when broken than you accepting not to marry who your heart beats for.Pray for you to love your wife and build your family, there's nothing prayers can't do.
For you to agree to your wife - the day you say " I Do"( and stop addressing her as this lady) every love and feelings you have for that other lady is dead and buried that very day,so, what are you going to get from her if you leave your wife and go to your ex when her love for you is dead and buried?
Your ex will be fine, you know she will, pray for her and cut all links with her for you to have peace in your mind and home.Your home and wife first over any other woman.Dont you think that is why you married your wife because with your ex, it aint going to work, your paths are only meant to cross.
It is well with you, I pray that God gives you eyes of understanding to see that what you have is gold (your wife).#beentherebefore.
really?
am in the same shoe with you only that am not married yet, people see more than and what you cannot see + your love with the igbo maybe short-lived,find a way to love your wife and you will reap the gains.marriage is far more than love as i believe but the comfort and peace even if she's not up to your standard ,brush her up and always give compliments.you wont regret it
Be patience with wifey
it's quite hard 2 get over an old flame or should l say first love
but with time & an open-mind; you'll learn 2 love ur wife more...
you begged her on your kneels when u were single and she refused to marry you, but now u re married and she wants to accept you? "you re even thinking polygamy" my guy the devil is after your marriage. simple
Love is a decision you choose to make. Decide to love ur wife.
i just do not understand those who say he made a mistake by marrying his wife! he wrote that the Igbo girl refused to marry him due to her parents' resistance. End of matter! She does not want to marry you, period! go take a hike
I Knw this couple.Dont mind the guy,he neva made any attempt to make the marriage work.And I don't think he is coaxed into this bcos he proposed to the latter and even travel down from abroad for the introduction.He just double minded and selfish.The guy has deserted his wife for over 1yr plus and does not come home nor call.Love is smthing that has been nurtured and built.If he investing the volume of energy he is putting in the extra-marital affairs into his marriage things will be different,afterall you once loved your wife and no one toasted her for you.Religion apart now,people don't understand that peoples emotion are not to be toiled with.
No matter what, you shouldn't have married her since u know u don't love her. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Maybe is the polygamy u end up to.
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