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Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Dear LIB Readers: What Do I Do?

Hello Linda, I'm inspired to email you after reading a similar problem on your blog. I got married in the first quarter of last year and like every other bride looked forward to getting pregnant. But alas after trying for a few months, it was discovered through tests that my husband had no sperm at all. We repeated the test over and over again, still the same results. I am at a loss, because I have been certified okay by the doctors.
I am 28 years and feeling shattered. Please what do I do because the options the doctor has suggested are IUI or IVF with a donor sperm but my husband will not hear of it. Please share with your readers.

80 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jesus.

A
D
O
P
T

What's the difficulty in that?

Chikaka said...

He has no sperm?
Pray very hard that your hubby changes his mind and then he will agree to the fertility plans.

Anonymous said...

Do you want folks to tell you to find another husband? Or what? If your marriage is such that you need advice from a blog on what to do, then you probably got married for the wrong reasons.

Having said that, why not adopt?

Anonymous said...

Linda will not solve your problem, neither will anybody. Go to your maker. You and your maker, go to God. Tell him to give your husband what others use in making children and he will do exactly that. Go to God!

Priscy said...

wow! this quiet a tough one considering the husband's stand of this. what i think she should do is to let the doctor sit her husband down and have a matured talk with him and make him understand. with this and a few other persuasions here and there hopefully, he will agree. best wishes to her as she tries.

Anonymous said...

did he know about his condition b4? He proberbly wont hear of it because of his embarrasment. At this time in your life you have to be patient with him and give him nudges about how u want to start a family with him via either IVF or adoption. If he is still adamant then the selfish man...u need to let go(thats if after all your efforts comes to nothing)

devour said...

is that possible ? no sperm at all ? anywayz this issue has been treatd b4 jst scroll down.

Shaddy said...

hummm this is serious but nothing is impossible for God in this case put ALL of your trust in God conpletely have heard worst case and miracle happened, have heard about a woman without womb that still bring forth twins dont try anything stupid that if your husband get to know in the future, you wish you didn't attempt it. is a challenge face it, and am sure with a strong faith you will overcome God is still in the business of doing good.

Osagie1 said...

Madan u deserve where u are. Patient prayer and tolerance. Life is beyond having of kids alone.

Anonymous said...

you can also adopt. I don't see what is wrong in that and why the idea hasn't crossed your mind. All children are Gods children

Anonymous said...

Anejaculation


http://alabamauncut.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

Hmm! U need to come to me for proper counselling on how to get pregnant. I have all it takes,i am double sure you will get belle with my horny stick.

Anonymous said...

Hmm! U need to come to me for proper counselling on how to get pregnant. I have all it takes,i am double sure you will get belle with my horny stick.

Anonymous said...

if you married out of love then go and adopt a baby with your husband,but if you married for the sake of "getting married",then your cup is full,you have to bear it now.

ibo boy said...

That's quite abnormal of your husband. What the doctor specified is the best option. It could be fun, there are some sperm banks where you could choose sperms of incredibly intelligent(maybe tall and handsome) donors :D

BB Anne said...

Wow. Thats a very selfish man if u ask me. For u to evn agree to a donor sperm is even more than enough sef. HE'S GOT NO SPERM! JESUS! NONE WHATSOEVER! what does he want from u?. Immaculate conception?
Its not LOW SPERM o abeg, its NO SPERM!.
And are u sure he didnt knw about this problem before u guys got married?...just asking....

Anonymous said...

You might get your answers here:
'When love is not enough 2'
shadaybrity.blogspot.com

*ajalahtravel* said...

Leave the selfish motherfucker.

*ajalahtravel*

Anonymous said...

Do you beleive in miracle? if yes believe that all the test are doctors report go to God in prayer alongside ur hubby he is the only one dt can change all negative report, i was once in ur shoes but all thanks to God i hv two kids now, wt nothing but prayer and thanksgiving.

daniel said...

well he has to believe in d medical terms,or if he proves sturbborn then he should believe in miracle.but my dear a testimony was given a week a ago in my church by a woman who does not have a womb according to all tests,but gave birth just a week ago.my advice HE NEEDS TO BE REDEEMED,for a new thing shall be born by him.

Titi said...

Then consider the option of adoption as u pray fervently for a miracle!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, issues everywhere, when u marry u are likely to encounter one issue or the other, when u are not married and in ur 30s, people talk behind u.God in ur hands oo

daniel said...

well he has to believe in d medical terms,or if he proves sturbborn then he should believe in miracle.but my dear a testimony was given a week a ago in my church by a woman who does not have a womb according to all tests,but gave birth just a week ago.my advice HE NEEDS TO BE REDEEMED,for a new thing shall be born by him.

Anonymous said...

if he cant get past himself and allow an annonymous sperm donor, then it might be time to move on.

PoLyMaT said...

IVF is cool..ur husy shld understand,he cant say NO in both wayz...fil free 2 discuss it wt him..hez ur husy remember??...

Innoxx said...

This mata critical Oo...no sperm @ all na waoh.Lady ma advice to u is this: Since he wouldn't bulge,allow u nor give in to da Doctor's advice and da IVF/IUI wif a donor sperm profered by da Doctor, move on wif ya life.U have pwetty 22yrs to menopause and u're nat gonna waist all this pweety yrs.Me i no de support nonsence at all.I'm a man now & know wah an average African Nigerian man would do if it wia 2 be da oda way round.

Anonymous said...

So what does he want you to do? Stay barren and enjoy all the insults from his family? Cos I know he won't tell them. Men are selfish by nature. My dear think this through.

PoLyMaT said...

IVF is cool..ur husy shld understand,he cant say NO in both wayz...fil free 2 discuss it wt him..hez ur husy remember??..

Anonymous said...

Well, there is no way you are going to have kids together if your husband has no sperm count. Sadly, the only way you can get pregnant is through donor sperm. I can understand why your husband is wary but you need to talk options through. Adoption is also another option. If you absolutely want to be pregnant and he cannot impregnate you and refuses to consider donor sperm, then you have to weigh whether the lack of children is a dealbreaker in your marriage or if you want to be with him regardless. Not an easy decision either which way and my heart goes out to you

newcreationxavier said...

Wow!...that is something hard to judge. It's unfortunate that like we all do, nobody conducts the necessary tests before the commitments of the altar. I think your husband is probably shattered at the news and is currently traumatized. Being the African man that he is, he definitely would not bear to hear IUI or IVF, to him that may equate to "cheating", it's funny thought pattern but true. AAllow his wife nurse another man's child? He'll rather die even if the donor is unknown. He'd rather want to adopt is my best guess. But he is denying you the joy of motherhood, the actual process of getting pregnant, the discomforts and final delivery and the joys that go with it. This is Nigeria, I have seen things happen. Perhaps he should go register for HEALING SCHOOL of Chris "Oyakhs". I have witnessed my own mother's gone spinal cord and broken backbone restored. Sorry for the pain of this discovery. Lesson to the rest of us, but I know there is still hope for you.

Anonymous said...

God is in the business of replacing whatever is not there, cos He is our manufacturer. Come for a miracle of a lifetime @ Faith Tabernacle, Km 10 Idiroko Road Ota, Ogun State.

Anonymous said...

check out this testimony: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5h6LHAQEBw

Anonymous said...

Really sorry about your condition but let me quickly let you know that your present circumstance is not the worst as there are worse case scenarios in many pple's lives.

Although it may seem better said than done to you, but the truth is that you and your hubby need to be closer to God for a miracle. You only need to make it serious prayer point and believe in him that he can do it.

Dont stress yourself especially if he is caring and supportive.

Last Sunday in my church, there was a testimony of a lady whom after her first child of 10yrs could not conceive again and all doctors' reports frm series of hospitals says she has no womb, but she held on to God and she had a baby last wk.

Pls, relax your mind. Be closer to God and more prayerful. Have sex as usual, not just for the sake of conception and you will conceive unexpectedly. Afterall, you dont look out for sperm during sex. Just chill...and you will be a testimony unto others.

Anonymous said...

Your situation is sticky because your husband won't consider alternative ways for you guys to have a baby. Another problem is, if you live in Nigeria, you are doomed because most Nigerians have an obnoxious habit of blaming the woman when a child is not forth coming in marraige. I hope your husband's people are aware that their son is impotent so they don't come screaming at you that you are the cause of the childlessness in your marraige.

IVF or adoption is always an option but if your husband refuses, then I don't know what to tell you. I guess you are stuck with a stubborn, egoistic, impotent man for life. Kpele!

Anonymous said...

Dont worry all hope is not lost. I work in an IVF clinic and so there are a few treatments we offer here at the clinic that your husband can undergo before turning to the use of donor sperm such as TESA. The name of the clinic is Medical Art Center. Its at No 21 Mobolaji Bank Anthony Way, Maryland Ikeja. At leventis busstop. Feel free to come by anytime. Dont worry your dream of becoming a mother can still come true.

Yetinde said...

It is well wiv you o.babe,divorce him asap.

bloglord said...

what is wrong with this husband of urs? he is the one with the problem, he is the one refusing to use any of the options advised. anything e get from u make im take ohhh!

chichi said...

i suggest yo look into adoption

Anonymous said...

You said the test shows he has no sperm. He may have sperm but they are not coming out due to obstruction. Hormonal analysis will determine the exact situation. With surgical procedure the obstruction will be bypassed and sperm extracted from scrotum and manually injected into your vagina. Conception will take place.
Note that God is not yet finish with you, he is a miracle worker. God unrivaled.

Doja 2.0 said...

Does your husband have a brother or father who can be the donor? That can be easier to take, personally I hate all this donor sperm from unknown persons thing, I think it is morally wrong. If he refuses to have a sperm donated by a brother or father then there are lots of babies needing adoption.

bloglord said...

all of u saying she should adopt, cmon guys! u think its as easy as that wen u know u can actually bear ur own kids?
d man is d problem here n not the woman. he needs to get his head examined. i guess his ego is taking a better part of him n now he wants d woman to suffer the agony of childlessness wen she can actually be a mum.
what a selfish egoistic man for a husband.
for me, she had better try to make him see reasons to opt for one of the alternatives they have

December 14, 2011 4:42 PM.

has offered another alternative, if he is not coming thru n still refuses, any decision d woman takes, na d man sabi.

Anonymous said...

I watched all the responses come in for the previous question and the one today, this is when I know that Nigerians are WICKED people. This is a lesson for all women looking for get married by fire, by force. Just like a HIV/AIDS test is important, YOU MUST conduct a sperm count and impotence test before marriage if you know children and sex are important to you in marriage. To all those forcing her to talk to an imaginary "God" may the same problem behold you. You are all sick murrerfockers.... How can you force a woman to remain in an unhappy marriage ? SICK! SICK! SICK! If she was the one with the problem, you will all tell him to find another wife.... Nigerians sha! Sick people. Leave God alone... with all your God comments, Nigeria is still the same dump it was 50 years ago with your stupid president Goodluck dumbathan

Anonymous said...

IS YOUR HUSBAND MAD? He will not hear of what? When he is the one with the problem. Nne biko find an alternative. With or without the hubby.

Anonymous said...

If God is soo powerful, why hasn't Nigeria changed ? This is the same Nigeria that commits several human rights violation. Nigeria is a bloody shithole.

Woman, if your husband did not inform you that he was an impotent prior to marriage, you better go and get married to someone else. People advising on here are WICKED people.

Anonymous said...

My dear sister,

I was in similar position four years ago. But as i write this, my twins will be four years old on the fifth of January..

My husband had a surgery where they found some sperms embedded in the scrotum and we used that for IVF.
I thank God for the Netcare Pretoria East Hospital

Its also affordable and you can make plans to pay installmentally

Please call these numbers

r JAW Becker Urologist (012) 9930823

Dr MA Trouw Gynaecologist/Obstetrician (012) 9988854

Above all pray your heart out >>> God is still in the business of hearing prayers! Good luck

Anonymous said...

U mean he didn't know he had no sperm before? I haven't heard this one b4 oo. Doesn't he ejaculate? & he didn't share this vital information with you before hand? I would anul the marriage as fraudulent.

Sugabelly said...

Well the world is already over populated.....

Anonymous said...

While in the previous case I suggest she should stay in this case, I think your husband is being very insensitive and selfish. What options has he put forward? If he hasnt then I think you may be right to leave.Have you guys considered adoption? And what reason did they give you for his azoospermia? Is it reversible?

Anonymous said...

1. Go to God. He is still in the business of performing miracles and never was out of that business.
2. Adopt
3. Address the underlying condition resulting in zero sperm count. It is addressable medically at times
4. Get a counselor to talk some sense into him and do an IUI using a sperm donor
5. Status Quo. Obviously not the best option

xstardess said...

He Once Made A Dry Bone 2 Live/Rise Again.He Hasn't Lost Control.He's Still In Charge.My Dear,My God Is Able 2 Do Exceedingly Abundantly Above What We Ever Think Or Ask 4.I Pray U Will Experience Him Working Miraculously in ur situation.Holy Spirit Will Teach Ur Heart.

Truth said...

My dear, your husband is being defensive right now. I'm sure he feels worthless and is putting up a front. He needs your support now.Make him feel like it isn't only him with the problem but you are in it together.I know if the reverse was the case, he might not have been as nice but treat him just the way u'd have wanted to be treated if you had the problem. You'll see that he'll eventually come around.There are some types of azoospermia that can be reversed and sometimes, a few sperm cells can be harvested from the tissue which can then be used to fertilize your eggs by ICSI. Hang in there,God is on your side.

Hater is back!! said...

no sperm? first time of hearing such.

refusing options proffered by the doctor?

what were his reasons?

was he aware of this problem before he married you?

if you can answer this questions truthfully, then the decision is yours to make alone.

goodluck.

Anonymous said...

It's called 'Azoospermia' when a man has no sperm.

Anonymous said...

before you go on looking for a solution,y not lean back and let him stew in his pitiable state.If the case was reversed,i bet u he wont b on a blog searchin for solutions.he'l be on to d next best thang dat can breed

BB Anne said...

Google this topic 'sperm aspiration for ICSI, Dr Sherman' and see if this would work for u n ur hubby...guess its true what they say then, when there is life? There is hope but also...where there is science...? What is there? Scientific conception. Look on the bright side...u neva have to use any birth control, nothing to spoil d fun...n u can choose when u want anoda baby....no hidden surprises anywhere...*wink*

Anonymous said...

I think your husband needs to stop being selfish and consider IUI or IVF with donor sperm. I mean you should be allowed to give birth to your own biological child if you so please. Adoption is another option but you shouldn't be forced into it if you desire to have your own child. In all of this, remember to keep your focus on God who is the only one who can make any of the above possible. Wishing you the very best of luck.

Anonymous said...

This is a very small issue to God. The church I worship and the servant God uses there has done many miracles pertaining to ur kind of issue. Go to Winners Chapel...Faith tabernacle precisely and I assure u, the God of winners will give u children.

Anonymous said...

omg...women ...remember ur vals for better for worse....this is the worse they were talking about.....if u have forgotten......and chick wtf...u 28...its not like u 40....pls take a chill pill....my advise, pray, find if there are medical solutions and if not adopt...i would definitely stick by my man if this happens to me

Anonymous said...

DEC 14 @1:03 PM THANK YOU, I PRAY SHE LISTENS TO WHAT IS BEST FOR HER. TAKING/READING ADVICE FROM HUMANS WILL NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM,GOD WILL.HE DID IT FOR ME AND IF YOU ASK HIM HE WILL CERTAINLY DO IT FOR YOU.

Anonymous said...

All u fools writing stupid and negative comments,pray u dnt get into dt situation,wen u do,u'll understand hw dis Lady feels...if u have notin positive to write den shut ur gutters...for d fool dt said dis world is already over populated,put a gun in ur fuckin brain to reduce d population by 1 idiot.most people comment witout tinkin about how d person actually feels.Enough wit d negativity!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't know why floks like making these issues difficult. It is not as difficult as you make it.
Not having kids is not the worst thing in the world. Consider adoption.talk to your husband about it. Having a child is not the end of the world. I support your husband in not supporting AI, if my wife was barren, i also will not entertain all these artificial means, even if the condition was hers. Quit focusing on having a child or not having one,try and enjoy your marriage and count your other blessings. Some are ravaged by terminal illnesses, others wish they had a husband but don't. Just go adopt and stop whining.

Anonymous said...

yea this could be true, a man nt having a .0 sperm in his body system and you can only get to know when being tested.you have to be strong hearted and prayerful.this happen to someone i know,went for a test and was confirmed having less than l sperm cell.
After like two to three weeks of medication,believe in thy lord the wife was feeling funny and went for a text and was 2 weeks pregnant.pls,mail me through visionconcepts@rocketmail.com and let talk better.
wish u all thy best in life.

doll said...

no sperm or zero count sperm?

Anonymous said...

come to Divine Clinic in Ghana. It is a Prayer and Medical centre. Many couples with worse cases have all had their babies there. You can contact me for this and I will direct you.
Ted

Anonymous said...

come to Divine Clinic in Ghana. It is a Prayer and Medical centre. Many couples with worse cases have all had their babies there. You can contact me for this and I will direct you.
Ted

Anonymous said...

From Wiki

Treatment

Pre- and post-testicular azoospermia a frequently correctible, while testicular azoospermia is usually permanent.[1] In the former the cause of the azoospermia needs to be considered and it opens up possibilities to manage this situation directly. Thus men with azoospermia due to hyperprolactinemia may resume sperm production after treatment of hyperprolactinemia or men whose sperm production is suppressed by exogenous androgens are expected to produce sperm after cessation of androgen intake. In situations where the testes are normal but unstimulated gonadotropin therapy can be expected to induce sperm production.
A major advancement in recent years has been the introduction of IVF with ICSI which allows successful fertilization even with immature sperm or sperm obtained directly from testicular tissue. IVF-ICSI allows for pregnancy in couples where the man has irreversible testicular azoospermia as long as it is possible to recover sperm material from the testes. Thus men with non-mosaic Klinefelter's syndrome have fathered children using IVF-ICSI.[9] Pregnancies have been achieved in situations where azoospermia was associated with cryptorchism and sperm where obtained by testicular sperm extraction (TESE).[10]
In men with posttesticular azoospermia a number of approaches are available. For obstructive azoospermia IVF-ICSI or surgery can be used and individual factors need to be considered for the choice of treatment.[5] Medication may be helpful for retrograde ejaculation.

Anonymous said...

This is a sad situation that definitely pushes you to the wall when u can have children and your husband is the one with the problem.
I am not a doctor but a lot of people have given advice that you should/must tell your husband because it is very selfish of him not to agree for IVF or IUI.

Do you think if it was the other way round he would even give you a chance? He would have kids outside and frustrate you till you move out. Remember the heart of men is wicked!

All am saying is pray for him to understand and take these options. God works miracles, but he needs to agree to these options.

Secondly, as someone suggested if he has brothers let them donate for him.
Thirdly, if u are depressed and cannot go thru with this you know what's next...REMARRY cos most men will not keep a barren woman in their house.

Tell him faith without works is DEAD...you have to try all these options given before adopting...shuuuu when u fit born pickin of ur own u dey adopt....Also, i don't believe your husband didn't know....no sperm at all, so before he got married what came out when he ejaculated?????

All i can say is this is a lesson to both males and females. Go take a FERTILITY test before you tie the knot to avoid this kinda of problems. Yes love makes us do stupid things but do the test and save ur self the DRAMA....I pray God leads u both in the right direction.

Anonymous said...

http://247vipclub.com/pages/index.php?refid=tunbosun602002

sleekreek said...

Firstly,,i think the man is selfish......he's the one with the problem and he's even refusing to go for medications.......what kind of person is dat???

And y'all talking about adoption,,,,,u probably dont know the joy in bringing ur own flesh and blood into this world........am not saying adoption is not good but the tot of not been a mother or not experiencing motherhood will continue to hunt dis lady......lets be realistic here......

Writter,,ur case is a difficult one more to the fact that ur husband is not even accepting solutions,,,but there's nothing God cannot do,,,,keep praying,,,miracles still happen.....and try to persuade him more.....I pray God meets his heart and makes him see reasons with u........it is well!!

Azuka said...

Take your husband to Shiloh next year and receive the miracle of a baby child. Just believe and it will cdome true.

angel said...

my dear,believe me there is notin God cannot do,my advice is this,i dnt knw ur belief or church u attend,but which ever one,ask ur hubby to ask God for forgiveness,weep onto him n ask for his mercy,in so doin allow God to use him however he wish even u as well,seek d face of the almighty God n d life u will always live to make God happy,my dear make a tight friendship with God,u will c hw ur hearts will b filled wit peace n happiness despite wht,remain wit ur hubby for dis is d moment he needs u most,then b4 u knw it,christ will b revealed in ur lifes,cos in dis situation devil will nt let ur heart b,cos he is a tormentor n wil never wish to leave u until somethin worse happens,u already hav d grace of God dt is sufficient,trust me,am talkin out of experience.always knw dt u r a blessed child,remember if u were in his shoes wil u wnt him to leave u 4 another woman or think of impregnantin another woman,ur marriage is jst a year old,i still repeat,THERE IS NOTHIN GOD CANNOT DO,remember hannah,who d bible said dt God shut her womb n later gave her a son dt we still hear abt till nw[1st samuel 1;5-27]u dnt knw if God is testin ur patience.lots of love n bst of lucks

Anonymous said...

wow! this is great, new baby take care.
check latest nigeria actress pregnant

veenigga said...

i am a fertility nurse ie i specialize in assisted reproduction i.e IVF and the rest and i like to tell my patients that IVF sometimes is the only means through which God can bless a couple. The earlier you come to terms with it the better......no one wants Ivf BUT SOMETIMES IT GIVES YOU THE GREATEST CHANCE OF GETTING WHAT YOU WANT. You can Email me on shostoppa007@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

where is the place of God in all these,do you bielive in miracles? my dear, you need Jesus to stand.The bible says "ask and it shall be given". Remember the VOWS you made. May god be with your family.

Anonymous said...

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THIS MATTER TO THE GOD THAT CREATED YOU?
IS THERE ANYTHING HE CANNOT DO?
PRAY TO GOD TO RESTORE YOUR HUSBAND'S SPERM FROM 0% TO 100%.
PRAY INTO AN OLIVE OIL IN YOUR PRIVATE MOMENT OR TAKE IT TO A PRAYER MEETING, RUB THIS OIL ON YOUR HUSBAND WITHOUT GIVING UP.

I BET YOU OUR GOD IS ABLE.

STAY BLESSED
B

Anonymous said...

go to a sperm bank

Danielle Aberdeen UK said...

Nigerian mentality....please adopt...maybe it is not ur destiny to have a child.
we should not change what god has planned for us.

Gam said...

Well, this is what 'too much' sex can do, LOTS of people suffer from this.

Fortunately, there is hope for him. His issues can be resolved through natural means (herbs and supplements) and a good diet. Linda, you can contact me.

Anonymous said...

Nothing is worse that having a will i ever get a girlfriend that wants to spend the night with their significant other.
Sure, they want to be careful that you don't have to morph into a different folder or again, delete them all.

My website - how to get girlfriend

deas vearest said...

thankes to Dr osaze who cured me of low sperm count, i was married for five years without an issue, my wife was now already comteplating divorce. until i saw Dr osaze's recommendations online, and i surmon courage to contact him, and he administered his herb on me, after two moonths my wife became pregnant. incase you wants to contact him for a similar problem, you can reach him through his email address: drosaze39@gmail.com or call +2349059942347

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