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Friday, 16 December 2011

Dear LIB Readers: How do I tell him I'm not always in the mood?

Hello Linda, I need to know if LIB readers can help me with a very personal issue. I need advise from the real people out there that have gone through what I am experiencing right now. I am a happily married woman. I love my husband to distraction and I find him extremely sexy and hot. Plus, my husband is a stallion in bed, always trying different positions and moves...but...
- How do I tell him I really do not like doggy style? It hurts. I fear he might just sulk and not talk to me If I tell him. You know how men are like big babies.
- How do I tell him I am not always in the mood, I don’t enjoy it when he feels like he is seducing me after I tell him “later”. I usually let him have his way but feel exhausted and weirdly used.

Please continue...


- Why must he want sex every day? For goodness sake, is it food? Not like I do not enjoy it but I do not enjoy it every day. What is wrong with just cuddling your wife for the night? Or just holding her tight without you know? Sometimes a woman picks a fight with you in the hope that you ll be angry and stay off her for that night. Not my husband, he will still “seduce” me and after still be fighting with me.
Is this happening to only me? If it has happened to you, how have you been able to handle it and resolve the tension? And if you are a man, what is your opinion about these things. Thank you.

95 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, except you want your husband to masturbate, or fantasize about other women, you better help him with what he needs.

When you get married, you're his only outlet and he yours. So yes, it may be hard, but do what needs to be done.

Emmysteve said...

Let him know your mind no matter what his reaction would be. Make him understand that you dont like doing it everyday.

devour said...

looooool nne m i no na ofe ! some peeps i prayin der husbands to touch them though am not sayin u should remain in ur situation.jst tell him straight up,if u say it jokinly he go still vex so jst say it.if he loves you he will control himself

Anonymous said...

If the two of them are really in love then communication shouldn't be a problem. Of course he might get offended thinking that he isn't sexing you right. But at the end of the day, if it hurts, it hurts. You can't keep pretending. Talk to him nicely and tell him the positions that you do prefer and he will most likely want to do those more if he realises that those are your fav. As for the every night "food", communication is still the key. Tell him how you really feel. Maybe he's the one who even needs help here and not you. Because sex every single night might make one wonder if he has an excessive sexual drive. Don't let sex be a one sided thing, the two of you should enjoy it.

Anonymous said...

U better be thankful for what u have. Other women wld trade to have doggy style. Some husbands dnt even knw how to kiss talk less of doing the thing.

Anonymous said...

@ Anon 7:53pm you are a Joke. Just because you are married does not mean you are his SEX SLAVE. If you are tired, then you are tired...wats the big deal. Just don't be tired every day.

Anonymous said...

I had thesame problem, put one day i thought enough is enough and I told him the truth. From then it's all good now, he asked if am in the mood and let me take control.

Anonymous said...

as a man we love this doggy style because of the imagination of the butt thing.......but however....ask him to use a lubrication oil b4 the doggy....believe me it may ease the pain......
but however if it doesn't,.......as a man, there is nothing we desire than worship and every man would fall for it.......kindly call him and tell him how much you love him and would never live without him,....tell him to go with other styles and not doggy.....
no man would resist a woman's plea when she shows humility from the debt of her heart....
why would you employ this method of humility...and worship...because if that is his favorite style you do not want him to go and get HIV outside and give it to you....

rather than telling him that you are not in the mood,.....let him know the times that you will be in the mood ahead of time so that he can always live in that imagination......
once sex is taking away or reduced from a mans life in marriage....that is the end of that marriage because men love sex

Anonymous said...

tell him the truth.

Anonymous said...

Say no to him and maybe push him to other women.

Or . .learn to do this everyday and find ways of enjoying it.

I'm sure this has always been the case since before you guys got married...why are you complaining now?

it is your choice really.

No matter how hard he tries to understand, he'll either fantasize about other women and masturbate...or have sex outside.

Str8FrmDaHips said...

Linda get real..who says its always men that want/desire sex..i remember one ex of mine..she could have sex anytime/anyplace..sexy babe..imagine na me tire for the thing..like everything that's too much loses it's flavour after a while..sometimes less is more..
And yes we can get stroppy..but as long as you can do sumthin' for him to come..no wahala!!

Anonymous said...

see if you can reach agreement with him like 3 days in a week,....and in those two days he can have it both evening and morning........

that is not to say that there are times when he will not want to violate it but......it would definitely reduce the amount of time that you have sex all the time.....

once you prove to a an that you truly love him by way of humility,....sometimes minor gifts...he will agree to a lot of home issues

as a man if i have that offer and my wife has proven that she loves me...i will accept it

as a man i do not think that i want sex everyday.....

Anonymous said...

Let him kno ur mind dear! Sometimes befor he asks u just pretend u hav headache n bellyache!
I think u need to discuss it with him first!

Anonymous said...

TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL NICELY. HE WOULD UNDERSTAND HE IS YOUR HUSBAND. YOU ARE NOT A SEX SLAVE.

Anonymous said...

I will never understand women! You have a stallion in bed and hes adventurous and wants to have sex with you everyday. This means he finds you sexy and attractive. I believe that most women want their men to see them that way. Tomoorow when he goes outside to find sex because of your constant denial, you will say "men are dogs". Well my dear remember something.....the way you dress your bed is how you will lay on it. Good luck

Anonymous said...

wot kind of joke is dat one naw..'not alwaz in d ..kini?' shey neva start,by d time i enta d place,no body go tell her glands b4 dem start to dey secret n lubricate d whol place..OLOWO

Anonymous said...

I used to feel the exact same way as this lady feels.I noticed whenever we were doing d doggy style or he was on top,I always had terrible pains at d end of it all.I told him how I felt n that problem has been solved now cos me now have sex with me being on top and its pain-free for me and also deeply satisfying for him!

As regards him wanting to do it everyday,I've learnt that there's no stopping my man from wanting to sex me everyday!so I've learnt to just accept that fact.
Those days I'm not in d mood (but know he's gonna do it anyways), I always make him work for it.I make sure he gives me a good BJ after which I'll be in d mood to do anything!Then u can both cuddle afterwards! :D

Communication is key dear.Voice out any concerns you have to him.He seems to love u very much so he'll definitely care about ur feelings.All the best!!!

Anonymous said...

im sorry i dnt sympatise with you. before you marry someone you have to b compatible esp in bed.im sure your husband has always loved havin sex if you cldnt handle this you shouldnt have married. done withold sex cause if you do he will definitely go outside as theres always alot of woman willing and ready to satisfy him. dnt give him a reason to cheat on you

Anonymous said...

Dnt u notice dis b4 u got married?Everyman wil stay indoor 4 dis. B humble check his mood nt d bedroom,sit him down and tel him.or pretend 2 b sick am sure he b in his best form 2 listen 2 u.*thank u r lucky star 4 gvn u a stallion.am single and hv seen married woman pay cash and kind 4 dis.

Anonymous said...

anon 8:55 PM.

Your husband gives you a good BJ...you get dick too??

it had better be a mistake o.

Anonymous said...

AS a man who was very promiscous in my day, I do not find sex very appealing anymore because quite frankly I have seen it all. Women have given me all that they have to offer from regular sex to anal to creampie e.t.c so i understand this woman's pain because there is nothing more awkward than a spouse trying to seduce their partner who is not in the mood. My girl loves to have sex often but I have over sexed my self in my twenties. I would rather cuddle and go to bed than have sex these days.

@ Poster, communication is key and by telling him how u feel, things will start to improve.

Anonymous said...

Im a man who is constantly denied sex by my wife and im sorry to say i can not sympathize with this woman. Are you bed riden from illness? Didnt you know when you were dating him that he liked sex? Abeg you have no case. Why marry a man and then start denying him sex and also not want him to get sex outside. Mschewwwww. Abeg next topic jare. Want want no get, get get no want. U see life?

Anonymous said...

I dont have sex everyday and yet i my wife denies me sex for the same reason this lady is giving. Body no be wood thats all i can say.

Anonymous said...

Women give your men sex. Is that not one of the perks of marriage? If he doesnt get it from you as much as he wants, wht do you expect him to do?

Enykings said...

@anon 8:45pm. . . Laugh wan give me bow legs oh. Chai! Youre too funny. . ."by d time u will enter the place" ? OMG! . .laughing my bom bom off

Innoxx said...

My lady honestly i feel ur pain.Buh u see we all have our price to pay.There is nothing u can do as we da men love sex to da bone.This were ya words: I am a HAPPILY married woman. I LOVE my husband to distraction and I find him extremely SEXY and HOT. Plus, my husband is a STALLION in BED, always trying different POSITIONS and MOVES.Woman if this were ya exact words,then ya husband is FANTASTIC(GOLD).U didn't complain he flirts around nor shag other ladies outside ya matrimonial home which automatically means he is 100% faithful.U have to Thank God 4 that.There are ladies out there who would wish 4 all this*pinky swear* juzz to keep their husband.My advice to u is this: Deal with it.As he gets old,his sexcapade and libido would def reduce.But 4 now, u have to device a means of enjoying sex EVERYDAY with ya husband.

Anonymous said...

he is ur husdand talk to him, tell him how you will there is no harm in trying is he loves u as u said he will stp

chrissie oke said...

Darlin' ignore all d insensitive clods here. Jst talk 2ur husband. Communication is best.dnt suffer in silence. Suprisinly he may be doin all this to meet up 2d idea or image u ve of him b4 marriage so he wont let u dwn. Teach him dt smtyms,less is mor. And if d guy wont lrn n stl coms on ya like a stag in heat, ejorr use d timeless excuse of our mothers n grannies....i'm tired! I hv a headache!!! (Lil humor here) best of luck dear

Arinze said...

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! When hes not tryna have sex wit you every day, is when u need to worry.

Anonymous said...

E just be like say make we trade places.At least ur hubby still finds u sexy.Ppl like us live in a sexless marriage.Just talk 2 ur hubby n he'll understand

Anonymous said...

Your man gives you BJ? Are you a dude too? Say what, come again?

Yes, a man with a great sex drive is a blessing to his wife, when that sex drive is targeted towards her.

Its a tragedy when that man seeks other avenues though.

So my friend, learn to relax and let him get the job done.

Anonymous said...

@ anonymous 8.55pm. Do women get bj? i thought it was called something diferent

Anonymous said...

I do not believe that a man wanting to have sex with a woman everyday is a sign that he loves her. Men do not reason like women and are definately not emotionally wired like women. They can fuck anything just to relief their over filled scrotum. A man who wants to have sex everyday is a SEX ADDICT and needs help. What happens if you travel or are sick? I guess he will begin to fuck your daughters if you have any like many naija men do or he will begin to fuck your housemaids or any vagina in sight.

I also do not understand most nigerian marraiges one bit. If he is your so-called husband, why can't you speak your mind to him? why should you subject yourself to a painful sex activity every night? I thought sex ought to be enjoyed by both parties or are you in a typical nigerian master-slave marital relationship? That is why I look down on most of you naija women married to naija men. You people go through alot of shit from your men including painful sex. Even more pathetic is the fact that you cannot have an open communication with the one whom you claim to be "the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh."

Allow him to keep fucking you doggy style till he tears your vagina apart and then moves on to his next prey. That's your problem. I am not going through what you are because I wisely married a non-naija and luving every single moment of it. He is gentle, luving and not a sex addict who will wear my private part out. LINDA, please post.

P.S: Haters beware, this is my opinion. If you don't like it, state yours or jump off a cliff! Mucho gracias!

Anonymous said...

Let me share my thoughts:

-I am a guy, in my late twenties, married 1.5 yrs ago

- I dated my wife for 5 yrs and never had sex till we got married

I feel the pain of this lady and thats why i want to share some experience and tips

1. My wife only gets in the mood once every blue moon. I can count how many times she's asked me to make love to her

2. I am the one who do the asking most of the time.

I discovered at some point tht she does not really enjoy sex.

I love the doggy style, for her, its painful....

And so we resolved to do two things:

a. I do my doggy style, but i dnt thrust too deep. Also, we bought some KY jelly to ease it.

b. She is not always in the mood. So she leant to give me a hand job and guess wt....that did the trick too....

As for the original poster:

Stop complaining about how your guy is wanting u all the time. Your guy has a higher sexual drive (like me). Talk to him, if he wants sex and you dont want it, do oral sex instead. DO blow jobs, hand job and cuddling in bed.

If you don't like doggy coz its painful...text him when he is at work on a certain day and say...."Babes, on your way back from work, buy KY jelly...I have a special threat for you"

Trust me, he'll RUSH to the pharmacy to buy one. Read up on how to use KY jelly on the internet...then both of you should use it together.


Trust me, I love my wife, but each time i don't get what i want, i am increasingly frustrated to want to get it outside and trust me, a man can still LOVE you and cheat on you. Its VERY VERY possible. I know that because i am a guy and married and love my wife and i have been in such situation before.

SO do the above, I can guarantee you that it will be better for both of you.

And LASTLY...its high time you STOP feeling weirdly used because you have sex with your husband.

Life cannot be 100%

Anonymous said...

You should be able to talk to your husband about positions and negotiate with him so you both can find positions that you both would enjoy.

However, please understand that men differ in their sex drive, you are favoured to have one with a high sex drive and you should not push him to the wall by not feeling in the mood all the time. Don't give room for him to masturbate or be unfaithful.

You are his wife to meet his needs and just as women want cuddling etc men need sex, that's just the way we are wired. Yes, sex is food to him o.

If you are always out to meet his needs, he will definitely learn how to meet your own emotional needs as well.

Anonymous said...

pls note that his esteem in the marital bedroom will spill to other areas of his life.

Love is sacrificial

If U learn to get creative yourself U will overcome all those boredom

AK47 said...

Na wa ooh..Why is it that most of you girls are always ungrateful?When a man shows too much care and affection to u.U always take it as anoda tin..Biko.U Dont knw the value of what you have until u loose it.Knw what?If you are tired tell him he shud giv u chance,then u will knw by the time dos girls grab him outside and he comes home at wee hour of the day and never have ur time again,or even abscond from home.Then u end at FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.U BETTER ACCEPT AND EVEN PRAISE HIM FOR WONDERFUL WORK HIS DOIN IN UR LIFE ON BED.

Anonymous said...

I heard of a couple recently whose tired husband was in bed and the tired wife joined him in bed fully clothed. Asking her if she wasn't going to lighten up, she replied and said she was too tired to do so amd thinking he will do the undressing. in the end they had an intimate evening thus showing they were so tired after all.

True love has elements of sacrifice; you'll discover that in being all out to meet his needs, he will appreciate u for it.

C'bone Iheduru said...

Thanks Linda...and Tessy looks like your younger sis. Anyway, fellow Lib winners and readers who may come to Rhythm Unplugged, I will like to meet u at the two shows.here's my BB PIN:312ad095..I will be giving out airtime there for free. Linda, catch ma kiss......

Anonymous said...

many of us married people have not read one book on the differences between men and women. If U read a couple of these books d question about y he alws wants sex would have been answered.

a man is moved by what he sees, women by what they ear
men want sex, women want romance
a man can be ready for sex in a moment's notice, a woman has to warm up to it (in this regard, I think extended foreplay, cuddling etc can help you get in the mood)

we donot alws feel like doing the things that matter, but we need to do them anyways so we should look for ways to enjoy what we should do

Anonymous said...

This baby wouldn't be comforted until he gets what he wants. He may cry to sleep but when he wakes up the cry continues and even be more hungry than ever.

to keep the peace give this baby what he needs and then cuddle him to sleep; that will sustain him before the day dawns.

Anonymous said...

See this life o. Some other people dey pray 4 husband, this woman dey complain say her husband dey too sexy. Sex is a gift of God beautiful on the marriage bed so open this gift and enjoy it to the maximum, it is fellowship with the one you love.

I understand that men and women handle stress differently; after a stress filled day a woman may just want to cuddle and sleep. The stressed up man on the other leg would desire to release some of the built up tenses and share them with his wife.

So they should reach a compromise- cuddle me gently, slowly and let me warm up then we can have intercourse as part of the process

Anonymous said...

You should also make some efforts to desire your man too. the way you sound, you sound as if he is the one alws doing the seduction.

Whenever a woman does the seduction and initiates sex she's telling the man 'I find you desirable, I find you valuable' and men alws relish that. it boosts their esteem a lot.

Reject sex outrightly means you are rejecting him bla bla.

Pls find a compromise and enjoy your marriage.

Femi said...

As ƒor the doggy style. Find a good environment to tell him that the style hurt you. Make him understand your feeling and even come up with lovely style he too loves. Besides, a good foreplay can solve this. Studies has confirmed that if a woman is highly arouse-horny, her vagina canal deepens. So try this out by having a long time foreplay about 40minutes.

In case of the mood, it's a pity some men don't understand. The best is to still communicate with him. Find a good time to have a fun chat with him about both of you sex life. It's important. Through your conversation, depending on the flow and rhythm, then chip in this idea of yours to him. It requires wisdom.

"Not like i do not enjoy it but i do not enjoy it everyday"---Well,i don't think you have good fun cos if truly you have, you will long ƒor it everyday at least foreplay. Not everything involve penetration,you can give him a hand/blow job.

i wish you God wisdom in this matter and a sex life with a glorious happy one.

Luffy's thought said...

Not in kini!!! Oya come on, bend over joor, why am I married

just kidding but i think you should explain to the guy i am sure he will understand and give you breaks....but then try and maintain the dude's happiness through other things like delicious meals most definitely that is what he loves most after sex

Anonymous said...

Make up sex after a fight could be very nice. you guys can even talk after the sex sef.

pls talk to your husband about what styles you like and be creative too. if you r rejecting d 'doggy' style as you said, then suggest another. There are several clean books on sex positions that you can experiment with; check your local bookstore

Anonymous said...

talk. talk. talk.
in marriage we talk about everything from inlaws to finances etc and fool ourselves by not talking about sex.
Dearie you have to learn to listen to your husband and talk about your sexual relationships. you can talk with respect to preferences, what turns you on and what turns you off, how he can help you warm up etc.

no husband is a mindreader, you have to communicate to him what your needs are and when you listen to his own preferences too then you can reach a compromise.
All da best!
I must say you have a man to treasure, don't trash him by constant whining.

Anonymous said...

Your man does no touch you, it means he is having an affair with another woman, yet you are available and ready any time he wants it. Your man does it with you every day, it becomes a case of wanting too much and he "moderately demanding"

WOMEN!! Bloody fucking confusionists!!

Anonymous said...

sex is a mind thing,but communication makes it better

Anonymous said...

I think marriage counsellors should encourage couples and engaged singles to read clean books on sex in marriage and have group discussions- this will help a lot.

For a married woman to be saying she does not know why a man may want sex everyday is rather apalling. Of course sex is food to him. Studies show that men's sex drive are far above women's. and men tend to be spontaneous while women are 'crockpots' that will take time to heat up.

we need sound knowledge brodas n sistahs.

my dear, please dont allow those street girls who know the needs of a man snatch this your 'hero' of a husband. thank you

Anonymous said...

We can't blame some men for their seemingly 'excessive' libidos. There is one faithful man I know whose wife works in the same firm as him and is his secretary- because he knows his challenge.

So they can do it anywhere at home, at work etc at least it is better than him having extra marital affairs.

So for such cases understanding is required for that marriage not to hit the rocks. U may need to let go of your guards to get in the groove at times, else you be left out.

but talk about other styles as a compromise, so you both can enjoy the fellowship.

Anonymous said...

Hun, if you enjoy it. Go get some vitamins or energy suppliments. Seriously, I agree with another reader approach the subject in calm and humble manner. He obviously loves you based on his desire to be with you so often. It'll take time for him to ease up but with gentle reinforcement this will get better.

Anonymous said...

The man is your husband and if you are hurting after making love it wont make him happy, that is, if he truly loves you. So if you dont like it then tell him

kambinachi said...

It's weird, I can tell the 'Anonymouses' that are men from reading the responses here. It is equally sad that most of the men here actually think because she has " a stallion in bed", she should be glad, and give her body up for sex at the drop of a hat. To the person who said her husband finds her sexy, hence wanting to have sex everyday, I actually beg to differ. I will say he has an insatiable sexual drive that he needs to satisfy at all cost. And yes, the danger in that is that he might choose to fulfill that with anybody if his wife is out of town or not readily available. Someone said if they are both in love, there should be free communication. I hope he truly loves her and does not see her as a sex tool.

Anonymous said...

He wants sex everyday because he sees his marriage as a union that should support his physical needs more than one that ultimately is spiritual in nature. You sound like you were unaware of his sexual appetite prior to marriage, or you thought it would have diminished after marriage.

Communication is extremely important in every relationship. Please sit him down on a relaxing day when you are not in the bedroom and let him know some positions are painful for you, and you are not interested in having sex daily. Offer something like every other day, perhaps research other sex positions where he can enter from the back, but it is not painful for you. Work on solving this issue as a team. Nothing is impossible when two ppl are working in one accord.

Anonymous said...

You hvae to tell him the truth but when he is in good mood, it happened to me and my wife too and when she told me I got angry that she is been goin through that kind of pain just to satisfy me and that made me to love her more

Anonymous said...

Hi Lady,
Some of us that are married and have married knows that these information doesn't add-up.
If it does,my sincere advice are that,
1. you needed to review the reasons for love.
2. after this concentrate on his positive to develop the real love because one day, the man will know that you are faking.
3. Please and please, don't tell him AT ALL because we men think of two things a. how to make money b. how to enjoy with our loves especially have a hot sex with our partner

Note: Don't join these career/modern women, that aspire and dream of "I CAN'T HAVE WHEN I WANT IT and vice versa". It always end up in sorrow.
Thx

oscar said...

NO WOMAN NO CRY, Anyway you are a wife not a call girl. You are not a sex slave neither are you a sex toy . Yes Men love sex and according to famous writer, Lao Russels who says ......Women give sex in exchange for love. That however is not to be abused. At least if he loves you he should consider your likes and dislikes.

One Babe said...

I'm sorry but some of the comments here are appalling!!'Be grateful for what u have'??'U better do it everyday'???sex was made ny God 2 bring intimacy NOT for d satisfaction of d man alone.just tell him how u feel in d easiest way possible.Men actually worry if u r enjoyin it or not and they can ctrl themselves contrary 2 public belief cos they rnt animals. N btw there r women who hv high sex drives to.b4 u talk sha,pls pray 4 wisdom 2 do it right...wit the condemnation dis poor woman has received here,no wonder women in our society shut up abt stuff like this!nitwits!

Anonymous said...

Dear Lady,

I can bet you're not the only one going through this problem...a ton of women in relationships can relate to it only if they will admit it. Like many of the comments, it's important that you communicate or talk to your husband...It's best done probably after sex during cuddling when he's still soft on you... you just kinda find the right way to say that you don't really enjoy doggy style-maybe suggest a different method you both can try with you taking the lead...men like that! Also, about the every night thing...not sure how bad it is o, but you can show him pleasure in a host of other ways...once you see he's starting, take over and pleasure him with your hands and mouth until he "comes"...he's your husband, nothing is wrong with it...maybe he just does not realize there are other ways to satisfy his urges....those other ways will also come in handy when you're pregnant...
I've learned that men are very sexual beings, some more than the other....goodluck!

LET'S BE HONEST. YOU ARE NOT BEING FAIR! said...

LET'S BE HONEST

AS A MAN...

men are sexual creatures who have left their natural behaviour for the sake on a monogamous marriage agreement.

YOU OWE IT TO HIM to do whatever he wants sexually.

EVERY SEX ACT, EVERY FANTASY, EVERY ROLE PLAY. JUST GIVE IT TO HIM. LEARN TO LIKE IT, the same way he learnt to like being with only one woman.

That is your side of the DEAL! for the sake of lifetime monogamy. thats the only way it can work

If not, then allow him to find other girls outside

Hintsonlinemagazine said...

For those of you advicing her to tell him nicely that you don't enjoy it everyday, your not a sex slave...bhla bla ba. You simply have to understand that sex in a Marriage is one of the keys to a successful marriage. My advice is NEVER NEVER attempt to sex starve your husband or give him excuses when he is desperately in the mood. If you don't satisfy your husband sexual urge then you also have to prepare to bear the consequences...Men will be men, that's how God created them, do not come back with complain that you don't understand your Man again. Be careful, if a young girl catches your husband and gives him blow job or anal...your finished. If you can have sex when your tired....suck him and masturbate that his third leg till he confesses the day he was born. NEVER SEX STARVE YOUR HUSBAND OR BE PREPARED FOR WHATS COMING.

Real Talk said...

You be freak. Your doctor should be the one u shud tell.

Tess said...

Are you born again, so celibate before marriage? OR Was he like this when you were dating? AND Is this something new?

Do you just expect him to change his sex habits because you are now married?

Honestly I just don't understand some people and what they want. People come to this blog and write rubbish which I don't understand.

Anonymous said...

When you were making your vows in the church were you sleeping? Give it to him bcos your body is not yours. U can only abstain when you are fasting and immediately the fast is over, get back to it sharp sharp. The bible even supports it. Did you not know that ur husband loved sex before you married him When he cheats then you will come back to say 'my husband is cheating on me...y' sob! sob! sob! Then we will all begin to comment again...Gerrout jor no make me vex. u are not even happy that d guy is coming to u for d sex. u dey lament. Sex is food to the body or do u want me to help you. come go sit down use your brain o

Anonymous said...

If i catch that ya husband eh...e no go sleep ya house again. I think this comment should make you reason. Mschewwwww!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I had thesame problem, put one day i thought enough is enough and I told him the truth. From then it's all good now, he asked if am in the mood and let me take control.

December 16, 2011 8:20 PM

You that wrote this, u think u are in control abi. u dont know the food d guy is eating outside and u are here bragging that u are in control....lol...i laf at the face of danger...hahahahaha. Africans never want to explore with sex. There are so many ways to make him come without him even penetrating. cant u explore on ur man even if it is everyday. u know he needs it everyday then be prepared. when u hav overworked urself during the day then u will say u cant give him at night. u must do oh bcos it is a sin if u deny him sef. u have no case!!!!

Anonymous said...

I dont understand y men want 2 have sex all d time and d most annoying part is when u just wanna relax nd dey come wiv their wahala. my ex bf was like dat always wanting to have sex everyday (did i tell him i was a sex machine hiss) i dumped his ass meyn
i understand ur married nd u can't possibly do dat, so when he's in a good mood, just start talking abt sex nd use style to ask him the positions he likes nd from there u drop the tip dat u don't like doggy style ....Finito

Anonymous said...

I dont understand y men want 2 have sex all d time and d most annoying part is when u just wanna relax nd dey come wiv their wahala. my ex bf was like dat always wanting to have sex everyday (did i tell him i was a sex machine hiss) i dumped his ass meyn
i understand ur married nd u can't possibly do dat, so when he's in a good mood, just start talking abt sex nd use style to ask him the positions he likes nd from there u drop the tip dat u don't like doggy style ....Finito

Toyin yellow baby said...

@ Anon 9.37 , you are just like my husband he too had it all in his youth ,now we barley have sex oooh ,and I must confess I was not too experienced in this area , now we are just mellowing , thank God I did not marry as a virgin I would have been dead by now imagine such wickedness , he does not see any thing wrong in making love once in a blue moon , when he eventually does , he just manages to stay there for 5 mintues , romances ke , he tries .
Am tired but what will I do , I know he does not have affairs anymore but just why should I suffer for this , he says he wishes he could be a monk to live an holy life imagine the selfishness , when I heard in his days he was something else .
My dear talk to your husband me I dey roast here oooh.

Anonymous said...

For u pple that want to cut off my(anon 8:55PM)head;I'm lady O.im not gay.call it head or BJ,all na oral sex!

ONYEDIKING said...

May God help you out http://naijagosip.blogspot.com

femillionaire said...

Seem to be caught between the devil and the deep blue sea... Tell him and risk and his seeking for outside alternatives or keep quiet and be - as fela the abami eda sing - shuffering and shmiling.

The truth is, it appears you did not get to know your man well before tying the knot. He is perfectly entitled to want to chop your congo every night and you are perfectly entitled to withdraw same congo sometimes if you're not in the mood. The solution to me however should be to let him know your feelings... But before you do that, you have to consider the possible outcomes. He may flow with you or he may pretend to, only to kurukerely seek outside alternatives. If foregoing the occasional congo shining may prove difficult for him, you should get creative by providing alternatives through deploying other resources to calm johnny boy down. As some have suggested, this can be done by a) through the use of your hands and if that does not succeed, then b) your vocal cavity. If that too does not do it, then na Baba God go help.

On a general note, you should learn to enjoy everyday sex. Couples who do so tend to be more connected emotionally and physically. Denying your hubby could build up sexual tensions and open up a way for the devil (some nymphet) to penetrate... Get self help books/videos to help you..

femillionaire said...

If the alternatives are not palatable, then you should just sacrifice the 5mins - 1hr or however long it takes daily it takes for johnny boy to calm down for the greater good of your marriage. Better to have a man who fulfils his conjugal rights with you daily than one who gives some to you and some to outsiders which at worst can lead to a breakup/bringing stds to you at home or at best, a depletion of your resources - financial, time and emotional...

Anonymous said...

This type of man needs two wives and this is a good reason for him to marry another wife.

Nigerian women are not very good in bed if most of them run from dog style etc.

It is all in the mind. Nigerians in Nigeria are brought up to think 'doggy' is dirty. It is fun.

Read sex books and watch porn movies. It may help...

Anonymous said...

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www.propick.gnbo.com.ng said...

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free jobs online said...

men he have to be a man he allway be.

Cool'z said...

@ Real talk na u be freak!! How can u tell ur doktor this kinda shit

Galore said...

I laff @ pples cooment askin this Lady "If she never knew that her husband Loved dex alot bfor Marriage".......Aabeg make all of una Park well......U all think every women is like you pple that Lost is Savour bfor marriage,,,,cus una go don Fuck and do all the sex style bfor marriage sef..........Mtcheww....immoral pple......so fuckin IGNORAMUS...........Advise her if u want to advise and stop tellin us crap.

Anonymous said...

hmnnn. Just a word to every woman out there, do everything possible to keep ur man. babes (husband snatchers) are not smiling o. lol. Treat him right so he doesnt look outside. In addition, have an intimate talk wiv him.

*precious*

Anonymous said...

Live life complete with all the choices in it. A cook, Garner, chauffeur, house help all add up to responsibilities we cannot muster enough energy to cope with daily. Accepted it'll be difficult to push him elsewhere for his sexual satisfaction, but at the pace you so described I bet you cannot cope. He takes a share of the blame for allowing it come to this but you the biggest culprit in that you saw it coming before saying I DO. Advise you fix this. Either he gets some services elsewhere or you live up. Practice with giving him condoms whenever he sets to leave the house. Goodluck.

www.sexylittlething.com.ng said...

Yeeeeeee hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!,i don laff go nack my head 4 wall.. Chai linda's pple wan burst ma belle again.now lets get serious.d gal dat said she didnt marry a naija guy.wow u really fink dat was wise abi?i wish u luck n i pray u wnt regret dt step.there are lots of good men in naija its just to find dem.for the poster,lol.u dnt knw ow lucky u are.obviously d guy is nt cheating yet.dats good news.dis happened to me n ma boyfriend n cos i didnt want to lose him.i learnt to live wiv it.doggy is painful for me too dats where communicatn comes in.i told him,we bought ky jelly n he doesnt thrust hard n we r fine.talk to him abt it n common if u find him sexy true true give him when he wants it.b4 he touches u, u for don wet if he is hot n u love him like u said so talk to him n work on it.cheers*hugs

Anonymous said...

all these people that are abusing this women should shut the fuck up. she's sincerely asking and wants a genuine husband. its good that she has a man who loves her and is also very sexually attracted to her, but does that mean she should ignore how she feels. abeg dont even start that one. of course she wants to please her man, but she also has needs, and many times it is simple things, like cuddling in bed. the stupid responses i've seen on this, so she should tear her pant because her man is sexually attracted to her. what kind nonsense be that. abeg don't mind them. your husband loves you very much, and you dey try for him. but sex everynight is too excessive and i understand, and if it is painful talk to him. this is a perfect opportunity to talk to your husband and open up to him, there is nothing that you should be afraid to tell him. just like you've made sacrifices many days to sleep with him when you were not in the mood, or do doggy style when it was painful, he too can make a few sacrifices, that is what marriage is all about, sacrifices and compromises, not only trying to fulfill the needs of yourself, but being understanding enough to consider the needs of your spouse. it might be easier said then done, but you won't ever get the first steps of marriage in 3 years, people who are married for 20 are still constantly founding out more and more about their partner, that's the beauty of marriage. i know you guys will be fine and will find a system that works for you! happy married life girl!

Anonymous said...

talk to ur husband. When a man doesnt want to have sex with u, it becomes and issue.
I am a woman and i feel i dont get enuff sex. lol. My bf thinks i have issues.

@UgoChime1 said...

d only thing i see here is a woman who is afraid of talking to her husband, which is the saddest thing of all. she has these preconceived ideas of what male sexuality is, and daz influencing her fear.


This thing is no long thing. talk 2 ur husband. itz both of u, together, that will come up with a solution that best suits you best. of course, compromises has to be done by d 2 of u.

@UgoChime1 said...

@ anonymous 12.18: "We can't blame some men for their seemingly 'excessive' libidos. There is one faithful man I know whose wife works in the same firm as him and is his secretary- because he knows his challenge.

So they can do it anywhere at home, at work etc at least it is better than him having extra marital affairs."

I feel so sorry for that wife. so incredibly sorry 4 her. she's a slave, and she doesn't even know it.

jeremyswam said...

Im a man who likes sex a lot too,and i av a gurl dat i really do love and want to marry,but she complains too dat i like sex too much,so i decided to date other gurls without her knowing, just to have sex wit dem only..bcos i neva wanted to loose her.but if she does get to know, i will let her know she caused it by not givin me wat i want.
And i even fear sometyms dat if i marry her,she might still deny me sex like she is doin now which will be painful den.
So,jst learn from dis short story and do the needful

Anonymous said...

you should thank ur God that he love's doing it with u, some woman are beging for such, but lik some sensible people commented; you can discuse the issue of doggy style with in a more polit way and as for everyday sex, u can device many ways to satisfy him without penetration, ok!. Dont mind some ladies that have destroyed their marriage and want urs to be the same, by saying "are u a sex slave" sex is some thing u both enjoy not the man alone.

Anonymous said...

Listin to me, u better stop eating butter and learn how to fuck very well. Is your husband not trying to open it well in preparation for childbirth ? if it does not want to open well come and see me I will open it very well for u, ur toto go strong doggy style no go pain u after dat again

Anonymous said...

Listin to me, u better stop eating butter and learn how to fuck very well. Is your husband not trying to open it well in preparation for childbirth ? if it does not want to open well come and see me I will open it very well for u, ur toto go strong doggy style no go pain u after dat again

Anonymous said...

And doggy is ♍Ɣ most favourite style ever.... And ♍Ɣ hubby knows!! Most definite style for mε̲̣̣̣̥ to reach orgasm..cos î† touches deep and real..hmmm

Talk to him, then take î† slow..with plenty of foreplay..

And try early morning sex, if you get too tired @ night..esp after †ђξ stress of work,home n children care!

Again, try to relax and dwell ur thoughts on how much u L♥√ع him and how sexy he is(as against 'this man don come with him whahala again o')

@dmarriedtooyinbogirl- abeg sharrap jor, oyinbo's ® known to be freaks of all sorts-just wait til he divorces your boring ass for refusing ♌ threesome or wife-swapping! Ode!

Eniola said...

It's a good thing that your husband still finds you attractive, but guess you can tell him on one of his light moods depending on how you guys gist. If you're really each other's best friend, I don't think it can be difficult. I tell my man everything, even about sex and my spots and he tells me his too, so it's easy for us to talk things out, no matter how silly.
I understand the fact that women want to be cuddled and hugged instead of the actual sex at times,so I guess you can gently make it known to him. however, if you are not too close, you can illustrate the whole thing as a story you read in a magazine you can't remember and watch his reaction.But please don't make being tired an habit less you piss him off...

Anonymous said...

Your situation is quite understood and not a strange one. The truth is "as food is to man, so is sex" 'cos it's a part of Man's design by God just dat it's more obvious from man to man. I have also come to the understanding that a lot of things are assumed in marriage which has caused us a lot. One of such is assuming ur man knows or should know everything a woman needs. U can begin to teach him (if u know or u find out) other ways of ensuring he calms his urge for example the idea of cuddling or touching or even discussing about his interest(s) or projects. Things like this could help take his mind off sex. Discuss with him and him see you as more of a friend than a bed mate for he may not even have any idea that it's much more than sex. I pray the Lord will help and strengthen you. Just don't discard this idea 'cos it works with patience and you should not expect a drastic change.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, I'm exactly in ur situation dear. My own husband wants sex not even once but twice or thrice a day. I ve tried to keep up for 3 yrs now.i married as a virgin but no jokes I'm now a guru(tanx to his different Style experiments). However, this is how I made myself enjoy to find a middle ground. 1) when I'm not in the mood, he must use his fingers and all he's got on my vagina. If u want it, u work for it. Luckily it takes just a few mins to ignite me. 2) sometimes I enjoy doggy ESP if I initiated d activity and I'm well turned on. Sometimes I don't. So when I don't Enjoy it, i let him know and he switches immediately, and we try experimenting. 3) he's always asking if I'm comfortable with a sexual position which I think Is being very thoughtful. And I'm always open about my likes and dislikes.. I think sex should be enjoyed in marriage and u have to talk it thru. My husband gets upset if After sex I tell him I'm hurting. (cos sometimes I just want him to enjoy himself at my expense) . However that's not ideal. You' might be surprised that he'll be deeply hurt when u let him kow u've been hurting during doggy.. Wish u all d best dear.

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