If you are in an abusive relationship, then please look at Titi, look at her and ask yourself...why am I letting this happen to me? Don't I deserve better? Marriage is a wonderful thing, but when it's abusive physically or emotional, then it's ugly and God don't like ugly.
A man who physically hurts you is worthless and doesn't deserve your time, your body, your peace of mind or your life. Think about it, what could be worst than being in constant physical and emotional pain? What's worst than the shame, the degradation, the shattering of self-worth, being constantly depressed, anxious, scared of someone you are supposed to love? What's worst than that? If you’re afraid of being alone, be more afraid of what will happen to you if you stay. You think Titi envisaged this would happen to her?
There's no shame in being divorced or single, the world might talk about it, but only for a little while. But if you die, the world will move on, and your children will suffer without you there to guide and protect them. Staying in an abusive relationship is not even healthy for your children. If you can't walk away for yourself, then do it for them. Living with an abusive man is no way to live. Let him go, he's not worth it! Please think about it.
Rest in peace Titilayo.
37 comments:
May hear gentle soul rest in peace.
They should have her husband sit on a bbq pit add salt and pepper to it and cut his yansh off with a machete and have him fucking eat it. once he his belle full they should leave him there to bleed to death before finally chopping his body, mix it with cement and then those it in the celestial church of christ rivers
linda may God bless u. onye weanyi nodiri gi
This is pure wickedness!!!
The stupid man should die a very painful death......
Omg!!!! This is so sad.....
ABSOLUTELY WELL SAID.
ITS BETTER TO BE SINGLE THAN TO BE BEATEN BY ANY MAN, NOT EVEN TO BE MURDERED.
MAY HER SOUL REST IN PEACE.
Well said Linda.
Her story was in punch newspapers yesterday.
On the same page was another story of a woman who beat up her husband regularly,and the husband was seeking for an end to the 25 years old marriage.The woman did not even deny it in court.
Domestic violence happens to both men and women,though i think it happens to women more or the men are afriad of speaking out.
The victims are most times afraid of what other people will say.e.g Imagine a man telling his friends that his wife beats him-ha how he wan take talk am sef or the woman saying that she has problems in her marriage-hmm i'm sure that she will be told to endure 'cos no marriage is a bed of roses.
I will advise people to look out for warning signs-most times the signs are there before the marriage or before the abuse starts but they are always ignored.
May God deliver us from evil-Amen.
Mental illness is just that, an illness.
No need to castigate the man for being whatever he is/was, when it's possible that he was acting because of factors beyond his control.
Amen to that Linda! I hope someone reads this and thinks twice about continuing in an abusive relationship. May God help us all. No one ever plans to end up in an abusive relationship. I pray that he gives women in such relationships the strength to fight for their future and leave. Marriage is not the ultimate.
This is what happens when the family pressurize a woman to get marry before time runs put,and she ended up marrying a jobless fool. This is what also happen when parents pressurize a man who is a gay to marry because the society must not hear of such..Rest in peace young woman.Let all other ladies on abusive relationship take a clue and learn to listen to their hearts when deception concerning their life is to be made ..Life have no duplicate
Let all women learn lesson!!!!!marrying,having kids,or whatever does not worth their life......Only one thing is compusory....and that is life itself. Please guideit jealously
There are so many men in naija that are suppose to be inmate of mental homes but hide under the cover of male egocentrism to reck havoc....I feel for the family of this young woman.she is just a victim of societal abuse.
Funny enough,if this lady have had the chance to escape from the husband to their her parents house,her parents would have prevail on her to go back so as to avoid stigma...patience would have been their sermon to her...too bad
My own judgement is that the devil would have to come back to finish it's assignment. Sebi they said even the devil knows the word of god.Has it not seen a place where it is written "what god has join together,let no man put asunder"This guy too needs to go and join his wife and he has to do that fast!!!!!
Human beings are so difficult to understand. I wonder why a man would behave like a mad man towards his spouse or even towards a lady. Our human right laws are not working.
Well may her soul rest in peace
u know wat linda, this actually made me shed tears. i was in a similar relationship but i thank God i was reasonable enough to take to my heels and i did dat very quickly and didn't wait 4 d second time. i pray women in dis situation do same. may her gentle soul rest in peace.
I am copying and pasting from the last post.
------
There is NOTHING mentally unstable about this guy as this was obviously pre-meditated murder.
His actions when semi-caught by the police were as a result of the shock AFTER the effect. Probably after realizing what he had just done.
Let me tell you something, if this man got away with it, he would have "happily re-married" in a few months.
Most African men cannot handle the thought of their wife being the breadwinner of the house, let alone the reality of it.
Look at the situation happening here in the states as well.
Linda I believe you posted a story on this issue.
"How Nigerian men are killing their wives in the states"...... or something like that.
If u remember vividly, 99% of the victims were Registered nurses?
I hear these stories of abuse every day.
Look closely! Most Nigerian marriages (I am speaking for Nigerians but this is really predominant within all communities) where the wife is the bread winner of the house are on the rocks.
The husband is usually abusive towards the woman as a result of her success and unfortunately most women stay put.
It's like a quest for these men to desperately prove they are still the MAN OF THE HOUSE. And believe it or not, most times these behaviors are encouraged by their fellow male counterparts.
It truly sickens me to death.
Here in the states, you more than likely need an education to excel and not just education in anything, An education in a field that will GET YOU A JOB which is why most people turn to Nursing.
However, majority WOMEN are the ones who have been willing to endure Nursing school for what its worth which explains why most women here tend to make more than their husbands. With reference to Nigerian marriages that is.
Some men I have heard, even go as far as going to Nigeria to wait in front of nursing schools to marry a nurse they'll bring back here to become their very own ATM but things head south when the woman comes here and "opens eye."
Which is why I find it very baffling when I see girls in naija fighting for yankee husbands IN 2011.
Totally oblivious of what the man in question really gets up to here.
I laugh!
I have a thousand and one stories to share but I'll stop here as my thoughts are totally incoherent right now.
This story really has me scarred.
But anyway this really more like PSA to emphasize on the fact that ladies and men likewise need to look before they leap which is why I am writing all of this in the first place.
And no matter how much you looked before you leaped, once the man/woman turns into the devil's relative, it is time for you to be out the door.
Pardon my spanish, but FUCK SOCIETY!
People are NEVER satisfied.
U can only worry and vouch for YOU.
Even your mother had to cut the umbilical cord at some point.
No man and I repeat, NO MAN is worth your life.
I am so tired of this issue but I will continue to speak against it because the truth is anybody is liable to fall victim, including me.
May Titi rest in peace and her killer get justice.
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Good words of advice Linda.
Does anyone realize it killed her on his birthday. That makes it even more disturbing.
Abuse in relationships is not just physical, it's also emotional and even spiritual...
Domestic violence is domestic violence, nothing more, nothing less. Just because it's hard to understand how a normal person could have killed and dismembered his wife does not mean the man is not in his right mind. Fact: most serial killers are mentally balanced; they are just evil that's all.
Please let us stop justifying this man's actions by claiming he has psychiatric issues. People with mental health issues do NOT act abusively towards their wives and act totally normal to every one else. These are the actions of an abusive man; "crazy" people are "crazy" to everyone they interact with. QED.
This devil sha............he gets the blame for everything under the sun.
May Titi rest in peace.
Ok I did add a little more to it...
RIP,Titi we luv u but God luv u most
This story has hurt me so much. If the husband really did it, please make sure you know (emphasis on know) who you are marrying. If in doubt, bail out before walking down the aisle. There are two sides to this.
The emotional: This is barbaric and whoever did this should pay the ultimate price. I believe Nigeria still has the penalty.
The Legalistic: The husband is still a suspect. It is important to examine all the facts and determine how this happened. This homicide should therefore be properly investigated and laws put in place in Lagos (Please I don't want to waste my time saying Nigeria) to prevent further recurrence.
No amount of justice or punishment that can fill your family or our pains over you death.
what transpired between two of you we are ignorant of it, only God that can judge you both, but to the husband no love from the beginning of the relationship, its three much for whatever that has transpired between both of you. what a greedy world, to us all don’t judge let leave judgment to he that we came from and he that we shall return to, its a lesson to learn from.
a song dedicated to TITI.
IJA DOPIN,
OGUN UN TI SE,
OLUGBALA JAGUN UN MOLU,
ORIN AYO LA O MA KO
HALLELLUYAH!
verse2
no more pain,
and no more fight,
HALLLE LU YAH!
END
I DONT NO YOU TITI BUT WHEN I CAME ACROOSS YOUR STORY ON INTERNET I WAS ASKED WHILE AM CRYING?
R.I.P
TITI
May her soul haunt this sociopath until the Grim Reaper comes to take him away.
Dith, thanks for that. In the past, I've had those Yankee guys that have said when they marry me, i must do nursing.....With my two Masters and working in a U.N agency to being a nurse? Not a chance.
He surely was not in his right senses. How could you butcher a woman that you promised to love and cherish forever. This is definitely more than meet the eye. It is more of spiritual than physical or psychological.
I hope all those who keep screaming 'make you go find a man to marry you' are reading this. It is people like you who push a woman into marrying an animal just because she wants to give in to your 'marry! marry!' syndrome and get the chants out of her head.
Marriage is not the end! I am not against a woman getting married but please let her do so when she is ready and she has found a man who completes her! In my own opinion all those 'you must marry before you're 30' chanters are no better off than this animal.
RIP Titi
and i'm crying i just realised i know this lady RIP OMOZOJE
this should be a talking point. it can save many young women. Marriage is not all if u r not happy.
so so so so sad. young lady, promising, ambitious...........life just taken like that. Kolade, what demon possesed u? God help us all. Dith, dont know if u are married but u sound like u've got some answers. visit www.wivesroundtable.net and see if u can help out some ladies there
this is so painful...it shows you that when the bible says we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers...it is so scary because this could have happened to anyone..anyone at all..it takes a very strong woman to leave an abusive marriage especially in a society where marriage and men are put on almost the same pedestal as God.
as women, let us train our daughters that no man has the right to hit you,and separation from marriage does not mean you are a failure. My heart weeps for her. May God give us all the fortitude and strength to bear this loss.
God help us all..
and the man was claiming Christianity all over his Facebook page, another fundamental problem with our society, everyone claims to be a christian, yet we are amongst the most corrupt and wicked people on the face of this earth..you think Rwanda, Somalia genocide was bad, God forbid that there's a war here, the inhumanity that people will put their fellow Nigerians through..i shudder to think about it..
we are so wicked to each other....stories of 5 years old being mutilated, man killing 3 yr old step daughter, security guard rapping sick 6 yr old, kidnappings..it so sickening..the amount of rapists, pedophiles, ritualists...my heart bleeds, my heart cries so hard for our children.....
When you stab, blood comes out. No matter your rage, when you see blood, after the third stab, you should be back to your senses. Going ahead to mutilate her is EVIL; a well calculated assault.
Women, if you are in an abusive relationship, (physically, mentally or emotionally), seek help now! If it continues, please leave. Someone is going to kill the the other one day. This may lead to imprisonment, death, madness and mental torture for the family left behind. Who would want to give his child in marriage to a person whose father killed his mother or the mum kills the dad; even in self defense? The problem is beyond Today.
When you stab, blood comes out. No matter your rage, when you see blood, after the third stab, you should be back to your senses. Going ahead to mutilate her is EVIL; a well calculated assault.
Women, if you are in an abusive relationship, (physically, mentally or emotionally), seek help now! If it continues, please leave. Someone is going to kill the the other one day. This may lead to imprisonment, death, madness and mental torture for the family left behind. Who would want to give his child in marriage to a person whose father killed his mother or the mum kills the dad; even in self defense? The problem is beyond Today.
Dith is totally on point. Like your comment
I never met you, Titilayo, but reading the story of your demise has caused so much pains in me.
I am a victim and a survivor of spousal abuse which almost took my life too but God intervened. Like you, I never opened up to anyone to tell them I was being abused. I was so ashamed of being tagged a divorcee in a society like ours so I stayed on, taking all the pains and rubbish that came along with it. Until one day, I DECIDED to damn the shame. I summoned courage and took my leave! Today, I'm alive to tell my story of victory!!!!!
Oh, if only you had known, Titi!
May God, who fought for me, judge your killer. He will know no peace for the rest of his life until he confesses and repents.
Rest in peace, dear Titilayo...
I never met you, Titilayo, but reading the story of your demise has caused so much pains in me.
I am a victim and a survivor of spousal abuse which almost took my life too but God intervened. Like you, I never opened up to anyone to tell them I was being abused. I was so ashamed of being tagged a divorcee in a society like ours so I stayed on, taking all the pains and rubbish that came along with it. Until one day, I DECIDED to damn the shame. I summoned courage and took my leave! Today, I'm alive to tell my story of victory!!!!!
Oh, if only you had known, Titi!
May God, who fought for me, judge your killer. He will know no peace for the rest of his life until he confesses and repents.
Rest in peace, dear Titilayo...
Linda Ikeji thank you for this.I too survived the knife that Titi didn't and will keep speaking out for others to take heed.Bless you for this word well spoken!FO
Linda Ikeji thank you for this.I too survived the knife that Titi didn't and will keep speaking out for others to take heed.Bless you for this word well spoken!FO
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