Dear LIB readers: I can't stand my wife anymore; should I stay or go?
From a male LIB reader:
"I found out my wife of 11 years cheated on me with some guy. This was last year June. She confessed to me after I confronted her with the facts. I decided to forgive her and stay married to her because I have cheated on her in the past too and I didn't want to destroy our family because we have four small children together. The thing now is; I don't love her anymore. I can't stand her and can't even bare to touch her. When she talks to me I get so angry I feel like stabbing her in the eye but I've never laid hands on her. I don't talk to her much except when we want to talk about the kids. We live in the same house but as strangers. She's really tried to make it up but it's not working. I actually hate it when she's around me, and haven't touched her since I found out about the cheating
I thought my anger and disgust at her would fade with time but it's been 9 months and I still feel this way. Will this anger ever go away or should I just end things with her?
Dis is a case of pot calling kettle black.4 crying out loud,u cheated on her b4,or do u feel its ok 4 u 2 cheat bt its nt ok 4 her to do d same?it is wrong both ways so channel dis energy u re using nw 2 tink of lame thingz like stabbing her in2 trying 2 mk ur marriage work.
mr oga, tic 4 tac, u re als guity of d crime, na psychological trauma dey worry u cos am sure u re still cheating on ha, scare of trusting ha, if u leave 4 anoda lady, what's d possibility of u not having d worst lady(whore) as a wife. beta erase it 4rm ur mind and go on wit ha, call ha, let ha knw hw u re feeling wit ha, den strt a new relationship with true luv & sincere heart 2geda.
guy u should tink twice..if there is any consolation u love thi woman once..build on that (how u fell in love,how u felt,the goods things she has done and her good sides) use that to chase off the ugly image of her and another man.two wrongs dont make no right,so move on and do things with her that u usually do...the love will come back i promise u.GOD BLESS U
ITS REALLY ON FAIR ON BOTH SIDE, BUT IT HAS HAPPEN,MAN, CONSIDER UR CHILDREN AND CONTINUE UR MARRIAGE. BUT U GUYS SHLD SIT DOWN AND TO WITH EACH OTHER ABOUT HOW U FEEL AND REPENT OF THAT RUBISH.
Walk away my dearest mouroon, mumu alainikanshe.... i'm a man and i am advising you to leave. Reason why i said that is you may need to go for a short trip without her. but before that Tell her your attrocity too. How many pple you slept with, and how many times. Then tell her you want to walk away for awhile, that if you could find it to forgive her you will come back. if not that will be over. Note her reaction... While you're on your missionary journey, think of a dry run of a new life. to have another children, re-marry pay bride price and possibility of marrying virgin marry that is 100% sure of not cheating on you.
By the time you return home, you will realise she is not there anymore. cos her cheating is now justified. and you will do the begging. so taaay you will add your family member in begging her.
I can see that you love toto. na becos of yeye meat you won kill yourself?
However, if you dont tell her yours, God will not forgive you. and u will not have rest of mind and the day she discovered it will be a big blow. Bcos you sound as if you are pope Benedits. Yeye foulz.....
Somehow I feel its always hard for we men to forgive our women when they cheat on us, even if we had done thesame to her. Sadly, you are already in a marriage - you have to work it out, pray and talk to a counselor. God can help restore what u felt for her......but if u continue to be bitter and you get angry at her, please do separate yourself from her before you do something you would regret for the remainder of your life. but while being separated, try to find ways of making it work between both of you. believe me, you still love her - staying 9 months and trying at it is proof enough. All the best man.
Better yet, for closure, tell her you cheated on her, see how she reacts..........if there s still love in there within her for you after that, you've just gotta reciprocate, u gotta find out how to do it!
This is totally preposterous. I will NEVER support infidelity but then, two can play the game. If you can cheat, then she can too. Why are men so self centered and egotistical? The bible says, do unto others what you would have them do to you. If hate infidelity so much that it disgusts you, then you shouldnt be the one caught cheating. You have not touched her in 9months, swear with the bible that you have not slept with another woman in all that time and let thunder strike you dead....... Yet that pastor said oral sex between husband and wife is a sin and can take away their glory. The woman is obviously missing out on somethings. You better find out what it is and give her plenty of it. While men are natural cheats, women can be very contented especially when they know that you are trying your best to make them and the kids happy. Oga go back to your wife and apologise to her,beg her, and you'll be shocked when she opens up to you. You think you are hurt? She is dying inside, she's not just showing it.
#Crazy Niqqa#...When u did urz it waz a 'game on',huh?...But ur wife cheated now nd u won't 4give her huh?...She pleaded sorry,the next thing u need do is 2 4give her coz with all ur sins too,Jesus 4gives u,so who r' u dat u can't 4give pple in return???...MTCHEEEEW
Like the first comment said...GET OVER YOURSELF MAN!! the person you cheated on her with no be woman?maybe someone else' wife even.No one says forgiving and forgetting would be easy but hey be mature move past it, remember why you fell in love with her and remember your DAMN VOWS FOOL or didn't those words mean anything at the time?
Its a two way street. If the man had NEVER cheated on his wife then he can get all "holier than thou". But now they are even. They should both wipe the slate clean and try (very hard) again. There are young innocent kids who need their parents together. www.peggyzplace.blogspot.com
Dear Sir, i have one question for you. How would you feel if God refuses to forgive you and give you a second chance? Trust me i know how you feel but please for the sake of God let go of the hatred ask for God's help and if u can seek christian counselling. May God help you and ur home.
Nigerians. Hypocrites. it is not tic for tac. If the man cheat, the wife forgives its not enough reason for her to cheat and think she would be forgiven. As for me i can never forgive a cheating wife. If i cheat and my wife catches me and does not forgive me, i will accept my faith. Please, the reason for life is happiness. Try and make amends but if it does not work, then you know what to do, move on...
U all sayin wot d slut of a woman did is Gud,r fools...may God 4giv u..am rily surprised here,Au can a decent married woman cheat on her hubby huh?its very very wrong plss....my advice 2 d man is,let him leave d whore.
Nigerians. Eye for an Eye, after una go dey for Christians. Hypocrites, how many of una go forgive the woman in the first place. its like most of you did not even read the article. He said he forgave her but then the problem is he has lost feelings...these things happen so why una dey talk say cheat na cheat, please if you dont have proper advise for the man the fuck off....bloody hypocrites
you are feeling disgusted becuase each time u look her in the face, you imagine the dirty things u did while u were cheating on her, get over ursef, karma is a bitch, u cheated she cheated, get together and solve ur esteem problem. #shikena
You just need to stop feeding the anger and let it go. You sure married your match. Let it go and decide to be happy in your marriage still. My advise to you both is to stop cheating, believe it or not, the way you feel is how it feels even when it is a woman that discovers her man cheated or cheats. Decide not to be angry again and you will be fine...with time.
But seriously, what would make a married woman with four (4)!! kids cheat? regardless of whether the husband cheated before or not, it is just plain wrong. two wrongs can never make a right. She really ought to be ashamed of herself and and the OP too!
Dude! It is a crazy world we live in right now. Try and suck it all up, even if it is just for the sake of the kids. They shouldn't suffer for both ya fuckups!
Dude you don't really have a right to feel that way and you feeling so it very hypocritical. You cheated on your wife too (of which you probably did not confess too) think about and ask yourself if it's fair. If you guys cannot settle issues amicabliy then perhaps try counselling or better still pray to God to give you understand and wisdom on the situation. You married her for a reason so dig deep and find that reason and use it as a start to rekindle your love!!
ARE YOU PEOPLE SAYING THAT IF A HUSBAND CHEATS,THE WIFE SHOULD CHEAT IN RETURN?TWO WRONGS DONT MAKE A RIGHT.BESIDES, A MAN CAN HAVE AS MANY WIVES AS POSSIBLE BUT CAN A WOMAN MARRY TWO HUSBANDS AT THE SAME TIME?I THINK WE ARE COPYING WESTERNIZATION TOO FAR. ANDY
IM FROM DELTA IGBO.IN MY CULTURE A MAN GETS SICK AND DIES IF THE WIFE CHEATS BUT A MAN CAN HAVE AN AFFAIR AND MARRY AS MANY WIVES AS HE CAN,YET NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN TO THE WIFE. THIS IS WHY SO-CALLED LIBERATED WOMEN WHO HAVE HIDDEN AGENDA ARE RELUCTANT TO MARRY OUR MEN. ANDY
for the past nine months you've not touched her,and you expect her to still be faithful? if you ain't touching her then you must be touching someone else,you ain't no saint my brother,you are guilty and disgusting as her... She is even far better than you to come out clean but yet you hide in your sin and humiliate her,you better start loving her sharp sharp. silly boy
Ok so am going thru this same thing. My husband has not touched me for like two years now. He dosent want to see me, picks fight with me at every little opportunity and very irrelevant issues. He hardly fends for me. I have never cheated on him I go out of my way to please him and always make peace even when he offends me. I wish to leave him as I see this as suffering he is still as jealous as ever. So I wonder what the issue is, ve tried to cajole him to know what is wrong but hes always mute anytime I bring this issue up. I think its better to forgive her and also confess to her that you cheated at one point in time, trust me women are quick to forgive. When you do this, love and peace will return to your home. It is well.
It's not always easy where one or the other party cheats in marriage. But one thing i can tell u is to try and re-discover sex with her. Take baby steps and start with gisting with her, touching her as often as possible, hold her while sleeping, and force urself to desire her sexually. See a marriage counselor and put ur feelings out there to each other. Give her a chance to make it up to u; having it @ d back of ur mind that u're not innocent as well. Look deep into urself and re-discover why you fell in love with her and married her in the 1st place. Re-discover that magic and pray sincerely to God to give you peace and love as it was in the beginning of ur relationship. Not easy, but u must be willing to try. I wish u all the best and prays the Holy Spirit take charge and u find the magic again and that time heals all the hurts in both ur hearts. Cheers
My brother, marriage is NOT by FORCE!! Try and control you anger so you dont end up hurting your "wife" & 4kids, but if you really HATE your wife now there's NO WAY its gonna STOP!! Cheating by a spouse NEVER goes away...it just eats your deep and will break up your marriage eventually. Best situation now is for you to stick around until you children are a liitle bit older...then get the STEPPING!!
Cheating by a spouse is the worst thing that can ever happen in a marriage!!! It breaks couples apart and put innocent kids in conflict & despair!
Men do not take their cheating wife's lightly; it hurts, it's degrading to a man, and he feels humiliated and embarassed...imagine, the woman you married & paid a bride price for is fu$cking some other guy. That's the mentality!!!
Best advice, DONT CHEAT & TELL or CONFESS...you will break up your marriage!!!!!
If I understand this guy's story, he really wants to forgive her at least for the sake of their kids. One thing I have noticed in all the comments I have read is that people are oblivious to the difference in the wiring between men and women when it comes to such issues. A woman's heart is well prepared to absorb disappointment when it comes to cheating, a man may pretend or try heard to forgive but he will forever live with disgust if he decides not to dissolve the marriage. I'm not advocating that men take liberty in being unfaithful, but as much as possible, women need not compete with men in masculinity, there are certain things married women need never do, if not for a lifetime peaceful and sweet companionship, the kids should be priority. Our mothers made sacrifices for us, lets not kill the happiness of our kids because of lust or biased counselling from peer/friends. For the men, you have signed a lifetime with one woman staying in your zone is a beautiful thing and blessings abound.
You are selfish...... You don't love her again because she cheated once, did she stop loving you when you cheated on her severally? You had better find a way to start loving her again, I don't care how you do it, or God himself will not forgive you.....
Please DO NOT CHEAT on your spouse or boyfriend or Girlfriend and TELL or CONFESS...if he/she finds out, or you confess, it's definitely GOING TO BREAK UP YOUR MARRIAGE or RELATIONSHIP eventually!!!
Best advice, DONT CHEAT or YOU CAN JUST BREAK UP YOUR MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP B4 YOU DECIDE to start SLEEPING AROUND!!!
IF you are a cheating spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend, please USE A CONDOM!...Dont bring diseases or HIV or get other people pregnant while you're still married or in a relationship!!!
OVERALL ADVICE, BE FAITHFUL, PRACTICE ABSTINENCE AND PUT GOD IN YOUR LIFE!!!
REMEBER THAT, whatever you do will HURT those you claim to LOVE, including your wives, husbands, and kids.....boyfriends & girlfriends!!! BE WISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was so angry when i read this. Mr Man take your indignation and shove it up your cheating behind!!! KMT. You can even open your smelling mouth, leave her if you think you are a saint. oloriburuku oshi!!!! *walks away to throw stones at your imaginary image* - Grown Up Girl
Correction - It is not a cheating competition however a man should not neglect his wife or expend his sexual appetite on women outside and neglect to give his wife good loving..A woman needs love just like you do, we can be extremely *horny* sometimes, and if that man for a long mount of time refuses to bank the flames with some tlc, unfortunately there may come a time the woman is in a situation where someone ignites the flames and she is powerless to put them out..Sometimes im shocked to see men with such attractive wives playing the fool with women who can't even hold a candle to their wives...do they think other men are blind, men know when a woma has been deprived and is in need of a good f**k and some unscrupulous ones married or otherwise would capitalize on that...anyways all the self righteous individuals you have been lucky thus far, pray to never experience it,cause surely your tune will change....Grown Up Girl!
it is for better for worse...u dont go after other women and expect ur own woman is safe..u better sit up, swallow ur pride and stay married to her. at least she opened up to u. did u tell her of ur own cheating adventure???
See this Olodo o? In fact, you are not even worth addressing. I just hope girlfriend has a good job and a savings account because you ain't worth keeing as a husband, lover or friend! Monkey like you!
She gave u a taste of ur own medicine and u wanna jump into the lagoon. Ode oshi, stay there and dnt go back to your wife oh, she doesn't have anything to loose, another man is filling in the gap already. Ewe, u better find out why she cheated. Mumu oshi.
Oga am sure you dont want to do this because If you live her, you will be inviting more spiritual curses upon yourself . I can see people commenting that is natural and traditional for a man to cheat but let me clear you very well on that, when the nemesis and punishment comes, the tradition will not be there to make excuses for you because God is not a respecter of any body. You are the one that erred more and not even your wife. Read Proverbs 6 vs 32-33, Proverbs 5 vs 18-23. By the time you finished reading these, you will find out that you are the one that even needs to have a change of heart and ask God to forgive you and your wife because there is no were adulterous women were cursed in the bible unlike men. You better save yourself by praying for your marriage because what you do in this issue today will determine whether you will reap blessings or more curses from God in future. Pretty linda pls post my comment.
Please wat is this stupid mentality about men being superior to women, I'm not in support of dt. Only God has the right to judge that. Bullshit, this is exactly wat some men think that make them cheat. Only selfishness make men cheat.
we shuld b fair 2 men coz wen u look @ male animals u will no y men behave this way,it's in our nature but bcos thisdays women claim 2 b equal 2 men thats y it's lyk dat,if women don't lyk it they shuld try marryin d men shay we want gender equality then wen d man cheats u will no hw painful it is
we shuld b fair 2 men coz wen u look @ male animals u will no y men behave this way,it's in our nature but bcos thisdays women claim 2 b equal 2 men thats y it's lyk dat,if women don't lyk it they shuld try marryin d men shay we want gender equality then wen d man cheats u will no hw painful it is
See this ewu!!i cant beleive this;sonit was ok for to cheat and not her/You expected her to take it and let it go but now that d shoe is on the other leg;u want to stab her eye!!You r a wicked sod;a bloody waste of seme.Gerrout jor!
please why are we even trying to advice this mumu? u cheated on her and u didnt hate yourself. now you found out she cheated on you too and you're having foolish feelings of anger....mtshweeeeewwwwwww you be mumu.
Olu, pls kip ur advice to urself. U knw to the limit of ur environment, n ur experience is neva universal. I'm just controlling myself frm cursing u out. Becos u r so myopic in ur thinking. Ur advice really SUCKS. And for all u dat said its a man's world n its ok for dem to sleep around n marry as many women as dey choice n women shld not do say. We r not saying its right for a woman to commit adultery, its d same think with men. Dia is no wia in scriptures wia God endorsed men to be sleeping around. D same judgement to goes a woman goes for a man. so u ppl shld just stop giving d wrong advice
You are only angry at the fact that she could cheat like u did. Two wrong doesnt make a right,the earlier u realise dat the better for ur marriage and children.
Men and their idiotic sense of reasonin,wen u cheated u didn't consider ur four kids nw she has dne hers u remember ur kids. U cnt even touch or look at u. U must be a fool,but she did exactly d opposite 4 u. U had beta mke ur marriage@stp makin flimsy excuses.
...Forgive yourself and forgive her.Pray for her,pray for yourself as well...Then think back at what attracted you to her in the first place,and focus on that...You both need to go for counselling though.
ok i understand y everyone is picking on u cos u cheated too n i am happy u tried to get things back with her but since u feel der is no love y dont u try reinventing it... find d things dat made u fall 4 her in d 1st place n pray about it too, no matter what she did u prolly did worse so..... dnt end ur marriage cos of it wen u lose dis u myt neva get it bak n stop making ur wife suffer.
Its just a natural feeling when your partner cheats, it's very painful. You have to take it upon yourself to work out the love you had for your wife even if you don't feel it. Do all the things you used to do together. You cheated too so, that's the feeling your wife had, from your write up am not sure she was aware.
I don't now why some gals are taking dis personal, we're human and mistakes happen, poor guy ask for ur advice cost he has lost everything and ure raining insult on him.... It's nt nice at all, believe me no one is holy, worse things are happening in some home, but dey make up bak....... Bros pls just go for counseling and pray to GOD to guide u and show u what to do. May GOD be with u bros........ Cheers
Why do you feel this much hatred for her? you have also cheated on her and she deserves o hate you this much too. i really dont understand why Nigerian men are totally biased and cannot live by the Golden rule!!!!!!, common! How do you think she felt thinking of you having another woman? then transfer that thinking to yourself and try to compare how bad one can feel. Kindly carry your cross cos you deserved it.
LOOK AT THIS FOOL TALKING O SO NOW ITS PAINING YOU ABI WELL WHAT GOES ROUND THEY SAY COMES RIOUND COS THE LAW OF KARMA HAS A WAY OF CATCHING UP....MSCHEW YOU STAY THERE TILL DEATH DO US PART REMEBER MSCTHEW
You should give her a second chance ooo!!! Your friends might give you a negative advice which will put you in a more boiling pot. There is no longer 100% good girl out there. The one you may be eyeing might be worst than what you have now. So many people are facing this same situation, but they mange themselves cos of their children. If you want to verify, just set cheaters camera on couples and see what will happen. May God help you to handle this issue maturely IJN.
You should give her a second chance ooo!!! Your friends might give you a negative advice which will put you in a more boiling pot. There is no longer 100% good girl out there. The one you may be eyeing might be worst than what you have now. So many people are facing this same situation, but they mange themselves cos of their children. If you want to verify, just set cheaters camera on couples and see what will happen. May God help you to handle this issue maturely IJN.
i cnt believe my fellow masculine homosapients are actually takin to d view of our opposites. How slanderous! Like ya'll are saints? I'm nt gonna stay here n try to justify wat d man did, of course it will always be wrong. But to fink it's a 50/50 between dem is however, fallacious. Dhu u knw wat it means havin another dig into ur wyf? Possibly expandin her (often atimes already too-spacious) well into wat u cannot size if he happens to be more enormous than u r? There was really no need 4 d brackets these days virgins are almost lyk dinosaurs! For all ye ladies agitated over d sayin "it's a man's world," u will always nt be able to change it-it has always been n will always be. If u r one of doz highly revengeful types, it will neva work out. In as much as i wuldnt want to encourage the fall of an institution put together by God, i must correct doz errorneous ideas ya'll got. Nw i'll talk to d men lastly, u r nt eligible to be called a man if u av no control over ur cravings? If ur wyf ever stopped lookin as hot as she used to, talk to her abt it buh be careful nt to make it embarrassin. Dis guy complainin on here failed himself n is sufferin the consequences. Jst incase nobody told u before u tied d knots, it's largely ur reponsibility to make it work!
I cnt believe my fellow masculine homosapients are actually takin to d view of our opposites. How slanderous! Like ya'll are saints? I'm nt gonna stay here n try to justify wat d man did, of course it will always be wrong. But to fink it's a 50/50 between dem is however, fallacious. Dhu u knw wat it means havin another dig into ur wyf? Possibly expandin her (often atimes already too-spacious) well into wat u cannot size if he happens to be more enormous than u r? There was really no need 4 d brackets these days virgins are almost lyk dinosaurs! For all ye ladies agitated over d sayin "it's a man's world," u will always nt be able to change it-it has always been n will always be. If u r one of doz highly revengeful types, it will neva work out. In as much as i wuldnt want to encourage the fall of an institution put together by God, i must correct doz errorneous ideas ya'll got. Nw i'll talk to d men lastly, u r nt eligible to be called a man if u av no control over ur cravings? If ur wyf ever stopped lookin as hot as she used to, talk to her abt it buh be careful nt to make it embarrassin. Dis guy complainin on here failed himself n is sufferin the consequences. Jst incase nobody told u before u tied d knots, it's largely ur reponsibility to make it work!
Firstly, you opened that door for the enemy to strike. you are her covering and when you went about messing up, you gave the enemy a stronghold on your home and little wonder she also fell prey to adultery. I blame you strongly sir!!!. because you did it repeatedly showing very little remorse. Now you have been dealt with your own coin and it is painful and hard to forgive. The bible talks about dealing with your wife with understanding, so you have to work on your mind first. its difficult but because you are willing to make it work, you have to try. The Grace of God is made available. Start praying for her, that is the stsrting point, pray for her everyday, you will notice that you will start developing love for her, make an effort to smile and respond to her. always rememeber the good things9 philipians chapt 4v8-9, the memorable times shared and you will overcome.
I DON'T KNOW IF U WILL GET TO READ THIS BUT MY ADVISE IS THIS. THAT U GO AND MEET A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR ONE THAT WOULD NOT JUST USE BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES BUT CAN RELATE THOSE PRINCIPLES TO REAL TIME. I HOPE U GUYS SORT IT OUT CUZ MEN FIND IT HARDER WHEN WOMEN CHEAT AND THAT'S THE TRUTH
u are stupid to say bible allows it did your bible not tells you that you that marry her who is divorce alsoo committed adultry the bible says what GOD has join together let no man put assunder she is still your wife ...so why are you talking like ababy my dear what has happen has happen go back to your wife.... even if you have not cheated on her before
I feel you,The real headache is not being sure the 4 kids are all yours, get a DNA test done and if per chance the kids are all yours, it will be easier to patch things up, otherwise the mail ego will make it impossible to keep that house in one piece knowing you are raising another man's child
Idiot. anu ohia. anu mpam. you cheated, she let it go. she cheated, and now you're what? angry? ill tell you the best thing you can do to help this situation please. make a will, leave all you have to her and your children, and then hang urself off that fan in the ceiling of your living room. okpoko!
She made a mistake begging u, she should have rubbed it in ur face by also confronting u with ur cheating. After screaming and avoiding each other, u would have exploded and had make up sex. And taken it from there. Her feeling guilty will only make u feel worse abt her. Wrong move.
Guy how sure are u that those kids are yours...start now to do DNA pls, once u confirm that they are all urs, for the children's forgive their mother but don't forget...some will say forget but its not easy. Don't even touch her again but don't throw her out...
479 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 479 of 479Dis is a case of pot calling kettle black.4 crying out loud,u cheated on her b4,or do u feel its ok 4 u 2 cheat bt its nt ok 4 her to do d same?it is wrong both ways so channel dis energy u re using nw 2 tink of lame thingz like stabbing her in2 trying 2 mk ur marriage work.
no comment: deep down inside of you, you know what to do. *waves*
no comment: deep down inside of you, you know what to do. *waves*
mr oga, tic 4 tac, u re als guity of d crime, na psychological trauma dey worry u cos am sure u re still cheating on ha, scare of trusting ha, if u leave 4 anoda lady, what's d possibility of u not having d worst lady(whore) as a wife. beta erase it 4rm ur mind and go on wit ha, call ha, let ha knw hw u re feeling wit ha, den strt a new relationship with true luv & sincere heart 2geda.
guy u should tink twice..if there is any consolation u love thi woman once..build on that (how u fell in love,how u felt,the goods things she has done and her good sides) use that to chase off the ugly image of her and another man.two wrongs dont make no right,so move on and do things with her that u usually do...the love will come back i promise u.GOD BLESS U
ITS REALLY ON FAIR ON BOTH SIDE, BUT IT HAS HAPPEN,MAN, CONSIDER UR CHILDREN AND CONTINUE UR MARRIAGE. BUT U GUYS SHLD SIT DOWN AND TO WITH EACH OTHER ABOUT HOW U FEEL AND REPENT OF THAT RUBISH.
Walk away my dearest mouroon, mumu alainikanshe.... i'm a man and i am advising you to leave.
Reason why i said that is you may need to go for a short trip without her. but before that Tell her your attrocity too. How many pple you slept with, and how many times.
Then tell her you want to walk away for awhile, that if you could find it to forgive her you will come back. if not that will be over. Note her reaction... While you're on your missionary journey, think of a dry run of a new life. to have another children, re-marry pay bride price and possibility of marrying virgin marry that is 100% sure of not cheating on you.
By the time you return home, you will realise she is not there anymore. cos her cheating is now justified. and you will do the begging. so taaay you will add your family member in begging her.
I can see that you love toto. na becos of yeye meat you won kill yourself?
However, if you dont tell her yours, God will not forgive you. and u will not have rest of mind and the day she discovered it will be a big blow. Bcos you sound as if you are pope Benedits.
Yeye foulz.....
Read your bible. Everything about marriage is found there.Ephesians has everything you need.
Somehow I feel its always hard for we men to forgive our women when they cheat on us, even if we had done thesame to her. Sadly, you are already in a marriage - you have to work it out, pray and talk to a counselor. God can help restore what u felt for her......but if u continue to be bitter and you get angry at her, please do separate yourself from her before you do something you would regret for the remainder of your life. but while being separated, try to find ways of making it work between both of you. believe me, you still love her - staying 9 months and trying at it is proof enough. All the best man.
Better yet, for closure, tell her you cheated on her, see how she reacts..........if there s still love in there within her for you after that, you've just gotta reciprocate, u gotta find out how to do it!
This is totally preposterous. I will NEVER support infidelity but then, two can play the game. If you can cheat, then she can too. Why are men so self centered and egotistical? The bible says, do unto others what you would have them do to you. If hate infidelity so much that it disgusts you, then you shouldnt be the one caught cheating. You have not touched her in 9months, swear with the bible that you have not slept with another woman in all that time and let thunder strike you dead....... Yet that pastor said oral sex between husband and wife is a sin and can take away their glory. The woman is obviously missing out on somethings. You better find out what it is and give her plenty of it. While men are natural cheats, women can be very contented especially when they know that you are trying your best to make them and the kids happy. Oga go back to your wife and apologise to her,beg her, and you'll be shocked when she opens up to you. You think you are hurt? She is dying inside, she's not just showing it.
Ode
#Crazy Niqqa#...When u did urz it waz a 'game on',huh?...But ur wife cheated now nd u won't 4give her huh?...She pleaded sorry,the next thing u need do is 2 4give her coz with all ur sins too,Jesus 4gives u,so who r' u dat u can't 4give pple in return???...MTCHEEEEW
Like the first comment said...GET OVER YOURSELF MAN!! the person you cheated on her with no be woman?maybe someone else' wife even.No one says forgiving and forgetting would be easy but hey be mature move past it, remember why you fell in love with her and remember your DAMN VOWS FOOL or didn't those words mean anything at the time?
u sound like a child aswear... u cheated, she cheated.. so waht??? u shud feel like stabbing urself in d eye too na...
Really cracking up @ Linda. Lily u be berra wifey material. Thumbs up girl
Get ova urself already n think of Ūя̲̅ kids... G̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴͡ for counselling.
Its a two way street. If the man had NEVER cheated on his wife then he can get all "holier than thou". But now they are even. They should both wipe the slate clean and try (very hard) again. There are young innocent kids who need their parents together.
www.peggyzplace.blogspot.com
Dear Sir, i have one question for you. How would you feel if God refuses to forgive you and give you a second chance? Trust me i know how you feel but please for the sake of God let go of the hatred ask for God's help and if u can seek christian counselling. May God help you and ur home.
Nigerians. Hypocrites. it is not tic for tac. If the man cheat, the wife forgives its not enough reason for her to cheat and think she would be forgiven. As for me i can never forgive a cheating wife. If i cheat and my wife catches me and does not forgive me, i will accept my faith. Please, the reason for life is happiness. Try and make amends but if it does not work, then you know what to do, move on...
U all sayin wot d slut of a woman did is Gud,r fools...may God 4giv u..am rily surprised here,Au can a decent married woman cheat on her hubby huh?its very very wrong plss....my advice 2 d man is,let him leave d whore.
Nigerians. Eye for an Eye, after una go dey for Christians. Hypocrites, how many of una go forgive the woman in the first place. its like most of you did not even read the article. He said he forgave her but then the problem is he has lost feelings...these things happen so why una dey talk say cheat na cheat, please if you dont have proper advise for the man the fuck off....bloody hypocrites
you are feeling disgusted becuase each time u look her in the face, you imagine the dirty things u did while u were cheating on her, get over ursef, karma is a bitch, u cheated she cheated, get together and solve ur esteem problem. #shikena
Travel and separate from her from a while till you miss her
You just need to stop feeding the anger and let it go. You sure married your match. Let it go and decide to be happy in your marriage still. My advise to you both is to stop cheating, believe it or not, the way you feel is how it feels even when it is a woman that discovers her man cheated or cheats. Decide not to be angry again and you will be fine...with time.
Guess she's not aware of u cheating on her. try and confess ur sin and sort out things wit her, working towards a better union. wish u all the best.
But seriously, what would make a married woman with four (4)!! kids cheat? regardless of whether the husband cheated before or not, it is just plain wrong. two wrongs can never make a right. She really ought to be ashamed of herself and and the OP too!
Dude! It is a crazy world we live in right now. Try and suck it all up, even if it is just for the sake of the kids. They shouldn't suffer for both ya fuckups!
Dude you don't really have a right to feel that way and you feeling so it very hypocritical. You cheated on your wife too (of which you probably did not confess too) think about and ask yourself if it's fair. If you guys cannot settle issues amicabliy then perhaps try counselling or better still pray to God to give you understand and wisdom on the situation. You married her for a reason so dig deep and find that reason and use it as a start to rekindle your love!!
ARE YOU PEOPLE SAYING THAT IF A HUSBAND CHEATS,THE WIFE SHOULD CHEAT IN RETURN?TWO WRONGS DONT MAKE A RIGHT.BESIDES, A MAN CAN HAVE AS MANY WIVES AS POSSIBLE BUT CAN A WOMAN MARRY TWO HUSBANDS AT THE SAME TIME?I THINK WE ARE COPYING WESTERNIZATION TOO FAR.
ANDY
IM FROM DELTA IGBO.IN MY CULTURE A MAN GETS SICK AND DIES IF THE WIFE CHEATS BUT A MAN CAN HAVE AN AFFAIR AND MARRY AS MANY WIVES AS HE CAN,YET NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN TO THE WIFE. THIS IS WHY SO-CALLED LIBERATED WOMEN WHO HAVE HIDDEN AGENDA ARE RELUCTANT TO MARRY OUR MEN.
ANDY
Big Fool ....so when u were cheating on her u ddnt know this is how it feels ba? park well and go and love ur wife jare.
for the past nine months you've not touched her,and you expect her to still be faithful? if you ain't touching her then you must be touching someone else,you ain't no saint my brother,you are guilty and disgusting as her... She is even far better than you to come out clean but yet you hide in your sin and humiliate her,you better start loving her sharp sharp. silly boy
C'mon dude i tot you are smarter than this, you remember law of karma "what goes around comes back around".yea.
Or How about you try telling ur wife you cheated on her earlier "i can bet she is going to kiss n jump over you for a job well done"(rolling my eyes)
You need counselling, You need to forgive; you need prayer; dont give room to the devil. put it in mind that you did the same thing?
WHAT WILL JESUS DO?
Ok so am going thru this same thing. My husband has not touched me for like two years now. He dosent want to see me, picks fight with me at every little opportunity and very irrelevant issues. He hardly fends for me. I have never cheated on him I go out of my way to please him and always make peace even when he offends me. I wish to leave him as I see this as suffering he is still as jealous as ever. So I wonder what the issue is, ve tried to cajole him to know what is wrong but hes always mute anytime I bring this issue up.
I think its better to forgive her and also confess to her that you cheated at one point in time, trust me women are quick to forgive. When you do this, love and peace will return to your home.
It is well.
It's not always easy where one or the other party cheats in marriage. But one thing i can tell u is to try and re-discover sex with her. Take baby steps and start with gisting with her, touching her as often as possible, hold her while sleeping, and force urself to desire her sexually. See a marriage counselor and put ur feelings out there to each other. Give her a chance to make it up to u; having it @ d back of ur mind that u're not innocent as well. Look deep into urself and re-discover why you fell in love with her and married her in the 1st place. Re-discover that magic and pray sincerely to God to give you peace and love as it was in the beginning of ur relationship. Not easy, but u must be willing to try. I wish u all the best and prays the Holy Spirit take charge and u find the magic again and that time heals all the hurts in both ur hearts. Cheers
My brother, marriage is NOT by FORCE!!
Try and control you anger so you dont end up hurting your "wife" & 4kids, but if you really HATE your wife now there's NO WAY its gonna STOP!!
Cheating by a spouse NEVER goes away...it just eats your deep and will break up your marriage eventually.
Best situation now is for you to stick around until you children are a liitle bit older...then get the STEPPING!!
NOR BE BY FORCE MARRIAGE GO WORK!!!
forgive and forget bro
Cheating by a spouse is the worst thing that can ever happen in a marriage!!!
It breaks couples apart and put innocent kids in conflict & despair!
Men do not take their cheating wife's lightly; it hurts, it's degrading to a man, and he feels humiliated and embarassed...imagine, the woman you married & paid a bride price for is fu$cking some other guy. That's the mentality!!!
Best advice, DONT CHEAT & TELL or CONFESS...you will break up your marriage!!!!!
If I understand this guy's story, he really wants to forgive her at least for the sake of their kids.
One thing I have noticed in all the comments I have read is that people are oblivious to the difference in the wiring between men and women when it comes to such issues.
A woman's heart is well prepared to absorb disappointment when it comes to cheating, a man may pretend or try heard to forgive but he will forever live with disgust if he decides not to dissolve the marriage.
I'm not advocating that men take liberty in being unfaithful, but as much as possible, women need not compete with men in masculinity, there are certain things married women need never do, if not for a lifetime peaceful and sweet companionship, the kids should be priority.
Our mothers made sacrifices for us, lets not kill the happiness of our kids because of lust or biased counselling from peer/friends.
For the men, you have signed a lifetime with one woman staying in your zone is a beautiful thing and blessings abound.
You are selfish...... You don't love her again because she cheated once, did she stop loving you when you cheated on her severally? You had better find a way to start loving her again, I don't care how you do it, or God himself will not forgive you.....
A word of ADVICE to YOU ALL:
Please DO NOT CHEAT on your spouse or boyfriend or Girlfriend and TELL or CONFESS...if he/she finds out, or you confess, it's definitely GOING TO BREAK UP YOUR MARRIAGE or RELATIONSHIP eventually!!!
Best advice, DONT CHEAT or YOU CAN JUST BREAK UP YOUR MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP B4 YOU DECIDE to start SLEEPING AROUND!!!
IF you are a cheating spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend, please USE A CONDOM!...Dont bring diseases or HIV or get other people pregnant while you're still married or in a relationship!!!
OVERALL ADVICE, BE FAITHFUL, PRACTICE ABSTINENCE AND PUT GOD IN YOUR LIFE!!!
REMEBER THAT, whatever you do will HURT those you claim to LOVE, including your wives, husbands, and kids.....boyfriends & girlfriends!!! BE WISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was so angry when i read this. Mr Man take your indignation and shove it up your cheating behind!!! KMT. You can even open your smelling mouth, leave her if you think you are a saint. oloriburuku oshi!!!! *walks away to throw stones at your imaginary image* - Grown Up Girl
Correction - It is not a cheating competition however a man should not neglect his wife or expend his sexual appetite on women outside and neglect to give his wife good loving..A woman needs love just like you do, we can be extremely *horny* sometimes, and if that man for a long mount of time refuses to bank the flames with some tlc, unfortunately there may come a time the woman is in a situation where someone ignites the flames and she is powerless to put them out..Sometimes im shocked to see men with such attractive wives playing the fool with women who can't even hold a candle to their wives...do they think other men are blind, men know when a woma has been deprived and is in need of a good f**k and some unscrupulous ones married or otherwise would capitalize on that...anyways all the self righteous individuals you have been lucky thus far, pray to never experience it,cause surely your tune will change....Grown Up Girl!
it is for better for worse...u dont go after other women and expect ur own woman is safe..u better sit up, swallow ur pride and stay married to her. at least she opened up to u. did u tell her of ur own cheating adventure???
And finally........you both should go your separate ways. The marriage is over and done. Finished.!
See this Olodo o? In fact, you are not even worth addressing. I just hope girlfriend has a good job and a savings account because you ain't worth keeing as a husband, lover or friend! Monkey like you!
She gave u a taste of ur own medicine and u wanna jump into the lagoon. Ode oshi, stay there and dnt go back to your wife oh, she doesn't have anything to loose, another man is filling in the gap already. Ewe, u better find out why she cheated. Mumu oshi.
Oga am sure you dont want to do this because If you live her, you will be inviting more spiritual curses upon yourself . I can see people commenting that is natural and traditional for a man to cheat but let me clear you very well on that, when the nemesis and punishment comes, the tradition will not be there to make excuses for you because God is not a respecter of any body. You are the one that erred more and not even your wife. Read Proverbs 6 vs 32-33, Proverbs 5 vs 18-23. By the time you finished reading these, you will find out that you are the one that even needs to have a change of heart and ask God to forgive you and your wife because there is no were adulterous women were cursed in the bible unlike men. You better save yourself by praying for your marriage because what you do in this issue today will determine whether you will reap blessings or more curses from God in future. Pretty linda pls post my comment.
You're a total douchebag, she probably cant stand your bitch ass too.....
Please wat is this stupid mentality about men being superior to women, I'm not in support of dt. Only God has the right to judge that. Bullshit, this is exactly wat some men think that make them cheat. Only selfishness make men cheat.
we shuld b fair 2 men coz wen u look @ male animals u will no y men behave this way,it's in our nature but bcos thisdays women claim 2 b equal 2 men thats y it's lyk dat,if women don't lyk it they shuld try marryin d men shay we want gender equality then wen d man cheats u will no hw painful it is
we shuld b fair 2 men coz wen u look @ male animals u will no y men behave this way,it's in our nature but bcos thisdays women claim 2 b equal 2 men thats y it's lyk dat,if women don't lyk it they shuld try marryin d men shay we want gender equality then wen d man cheats u will no hw painful it is
it is God that will punish u.so its ok for you to cheat?
See this ewu!!i cant beleive this;sonit was ok for to cheat and not her/You expected her to take it and let it go but now that d shoe is on the other leg;u want to stab her eye!!You r a wicked sod;a bloody waste of seme.Gerrout jor!
you are daft!! and foolish to seek advice. Idiot
please why are we even trying to advice this mumu? u cheated on her and u didnt hate yourself. now you found out she cheated on you too and you're having foolish feelings of anger....mtshweeeeewwwwwww you be mumu.
Olu, pls kip ur advice to urself. U knw to the limit of ur environment, n ur experience is neva universal. I'm just controlling myself frm cursing u out. Becos u r so myopic in ur thinking. Ur advice really SUCKS. And for all u dat said its a man's world n its ok for dem to sleep around n marry as many women as dey choice n women shld not do say. We r not saying its right for a woman to commit adultery, its d same think with men. Dia is no wia in scriptures wia God endorsed men to be sleeping around. D same judgement to goes a woman goes for a man. so u ppl shld just stop giving d wrong advice
You are only angry at the fact that she could cheat like u did. Two wrong doesnt make a right,the earlier u realise dat the better for ur marriage and children.
Men and their idiotic sense of reasonin,wen u cheated u didn't consider ur four kids nw she has dne hers u remember ur kids. U cnt even touch or look at u. U must be a fool,but she did exactly d opposite 4 u. U had beta mke ur marriage@stp makin flimsy excuses.
...Forgive yourself and forgive her.Pray for her,pray for yourself as well...Then think back at what attracted you to her in the first place,and focus on that...You both need to go for counselling though.
Zandra.
ok i understand y everyone is picking on u cos u cheated too n i am happy u tried to get things back with her but since u feel der is no love y dont u try reinventing it... find d things dat made u fall 4 her in d 1st place n pray about it too, no matter what she did u prolly did worse so..... dnt end ur marriage cos of it wen u lose dis u myt neva get it bak n stop making ur wife suffer.
Its just a natural feeling when your partner cheats, it's very painful. You have to take it upon yourself to work out the love you had for your wife even if you don't feel it. Do all the things you used to do together. You cheated too so, that's the feeling your wife had, from your write up am not sure she was aware.
I don't now why some gals are taking dis personal, we're human and mistakes happen, poor guy ask for ur advice cost he has lost everything and ure raining insult on him.... It's nt nice at all, believe me no one is holy, worse things are happening in some home, but dey make up bak....... Bros pls just go for counseling and pray to GOD to guide u and show u what to do. May GOD be with u bros........ Cheers
Why do you feel this much hatred for her? you have also cheated on her and she deserves o hate you this much too. i really dont understand why Nigerian men are totally biased and cannot live by the Golden rule!!!!!!, common!
How do you think she felt thinking of you having another woman? then transfer that thinking to yourself and try to compare how bad one can feel. Kindly carry your cross cos you deserved it.
one word idiot
LOOK AT THIS FOOL TALKING O SO NOW ITS PAINING YOU ABI WELL WHAT GOES ROUND THEY SAY COMES RIOUND COS THE LAW OF KARMA HAS A WAY OF CATCHING UP....MSCHEW YOU STAY THERE TILL DEATH DO US PART REMEBER MSCTHEW
You should give her a second chance ooo!!! Your friends might give you a negative advice which will put you in a more boiling pot. There is no longer 100% good girl out there. The one you may be eyeing might be worst than what you have now. So many people are facing this same situation, but they mange themselves cos of their children. If you want to verify, just set cheaters camera on couples and see what will happen. May God help you to handle this issue maturely IJN.
You should give her a second chance ooo!!! Your friends might give you a negative advice which will put you in a more boiling pot. There is no longer 100% good girl out there. The one you may be eyeing might be worst than what you have now. So many people are facing this same situation, but they mange themselves cos of their children. If you want to verify, just set cheaters camera on couples and see what will happen. May God help you to handle this issue maturely IJN.
I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW A MAN WILL BE CONTEMPLATING ON STAYING WITH A WOMAN WHO IS INTO INFIDELITY.
i cnt believe my fellow masculine homosapients are actually takin to d view of our opposites. How slanderous! Like ya'll are saints? I'm nt gonna stay here n try to justify wat d man did, of course it will always be wrong. But to fink it's a 50/50 between dem is however, fallacious. Dhu u knw wat it means havin another dig into ur wyf? Possibly expandin her (often atimes already too-spacious) well into wat u cannot size if he happens to be more enormous than u r? There was really no need 4 d brackets these days virgins are almost lyk dinosaurs! For all ye ladies agitated over d sayin "it's a man's world," u will always nt be able to change it-it has always been n will always be. If u r one of doz highly revengeful types, it will neva work out. In as much as i wuldnt want to encourage the fall of an institution put together by God, i must correct doz errorneous ideas ya'll got. Nw i'll talk to d men lastly, u r nt eligible to be called a man if u av no control over ur cravings? If ur wyf ever stopped lookin as hot as she used to, talk to her abt it buh be careful nt to make it embarrassin. Dis guy complainin on here failed himself n is sufferin the consequences. Jst incase nobody told u before u tied d knots, it's largely ur reponsibility to make it work!
I cnt believe my fellow masculine homosapients are actually takin to d view of our opposites. How slanderous! Like ya'll are saints? I'm nt gonna stay here n try to justify wat d man did, of course it will always be wrong. But to fink it's a 50/50 between dem is however, fallacious. Dhu u knw wat it means havin another dig into ur wyf? Possibly expandin her (often atimes already too-spacious) well into wat u cannot size if he happens to be more enormous than u r? There was really no need 4 d brackets these days virgins are almost lyk dinosaurs! For all ye ladies agitated over d sayin "it's a man's world," u will always nt be able to change it-it has always been n will always be. If u r one of doz highly revengeful types, it will neva work out. In as much as i wuldnt want to encourage the fall of an institution put together by God, i must correct doz errorneous ideas ya'll got. Nw i'll talk to d men lastly, u r nt eligible to be called a man if u av no control over ur cravings? If ur wyf ever stopped lookin as hot as she used to, talk to her abt it buh be careful nt to make it embarrassin. Dis guy complainin on here failed himself n is sufferin the consequences. Jst incase nobody told u before u tied d knots, it's largely ur reponsibility to make it work!
Firstly, you opened that door for the enemy to strike. you are her covering and when you went about messing up, you gave the enemy a stronghold on your home and little wonder she also fell prey to adultery. I blame you strongly sir!!!. because you did it repeatedly showing very little remorse. Now you have been dealt with your own coin and it is painful and hard to forgive. The bible talks about dealing with your wife with understanding, so you have to work on your mind first. its difficult but because you are willing to make it work, you have to try. The Grace of God is made available. Start praying for her, that is the stsrting point, pray for her everyday, you will notice that you will start developing love for her, make an effort to smile and respond to her. always rememeber the good things9 philipians chapt 4v8-9, the memorable times shared and you will overcome.
I DON'T KNOW IF U WILL GET TO READ THIS BUT MY ADVISE IS THIS. THAT U GO AND MEET A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR ONE THAT WOULD NOT JUST USE BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES BUT CAN RELATE THOSE PRINCIPLES TO REAL TIME. I HOPE U GUYS SORT IT OUT CUZ MEN FIND IT HARDER WHEN WOMEN CHEAT AND THAT'S THE TRUTH
u are stupid to say bible allows it did your bible not tells you that you that marry her who is divorce alsoo committed adultry the bible says what GOD has join together let no man put assunder she is still your wife
...so why are you talking like ababy my dear what has happen has happen go back to your wife.... even if you have not cheated on her before
I feel you,The real headache is not being sure the 4 kids are all yours, get a DNA test done and if per chance the kids are all yours, it will be easier to patch things up, otherwise the mail ego will make it impossible to keep that house in one piece knowing you are raising another man's child
Idiot. anu ohia. anu mpam. you cheated, she let it go. she cheated, and now you're what? angry? ill tell you the best thing you can do to help this situation please. make a will, leave all you have to her and your children, and then hang urself off that fan in the ceiling of your living room. okpoko!
She made a mistake begging u, she should have rubbed it in ur face by also confronting u with ur cheating. After screaming and avoiding each other, u would have exploded and had make up sex. And taken it from there. Her feeling guilty will only make u feel worse abt her. Wrong move.
Guy how sure are u that those kids are yours...start now to do DNA pls, once u confirm that they are all urs, for the children's forgive their mother but don't forget...some will say forget but its not easy. Don't even touch her again but don't throw her out...
Post a Comment