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Saturday, 21 May 2016

Hilarious home memo from a dad to his household (found on FB)

Internal Home Memo
From:   Father
To:       All dependants & Relatives
CC:      Mother
Date:    May 16, 2016

Subject: Financial Meltdown/Cost Cutting Measures For Your Urgent Attention
Due to the current economic situation, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation going to be accepted.

1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from myself upon submission of written request.
2.  Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be discussed!
3.  Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk are restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to me in triplicate, with three days notice, giving justifications backed by a qualified dietician report as supportive documentation.
4. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 liters of water per day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons.
5. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect.  All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall makeavailable shortly.
6.  No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music.  Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.
7. No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court bailiffs; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from the House.
8. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in The House, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).
9.  All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall apply in triplicate and give two months notice, with an endorsement from their town Mayor, Village Headman or Church Priest/Imams giving convincing reasons why they can't stay at their homes.  Failure to do this shall result
in their being turned away, at the gate, upon arrival

THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!
Signed:
DAD
Chairman of Home Affairs
Hot regards,

58 comments:

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

Lol.. this reminds me of "The Jonson".



~glo rule your world~ cos I do•

Jamila Shaibu said...

Lol

eka said...

This kind daddy must be residing in England!

Adaobi said...

That singing to visitors cracked me up! Hilarious shit! Dictator Father..

ONYX linda ikeji first son GODWIN said...

Lol! Money isn't easy to come by! Don't blame him!

Anonymous said...

Hahahahah.this is serious this economic situation calls for stringent measures else pple find them self's in places they never imagined
(OGBUEFI)

Adaobi said...

That singing to visitors cracked me up! Hilarious shit! Dictator Father.. I can't stop reading it

Anonymous said...

Stale jokes.

Fortunatus Ifenna said...

Na Buhari be dis ooh. Lmao. Pitiable issue of jungle justice in our society..Read visit www.fortunatusblog.com

Anonymous said...

Hehehe
Lol. Read this funny akpos jokes here

Ismail Owoo said...

Daddy has spoken 😂😂😂

Dollar Tree said...

This is hilarious. Poor man, the struggle is real. Infact, they should all go get a job and share the bills as well, no time to check time.

Oluwa Bukola said...

Saw this five days ago.





#Linda'spal

Oluwa Bukola said...

Saw this five days ago.





#Linda'spal

Pretty face said...

Hahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Nice one. I will just copy one home now. Lolz

Blessing Meyene Kufre said...

Lol. Economic crisis.ooo he he he the no 9 make sense well.

olagokearemu said...

In support change is a constant thing

Anonymous said...

This is so hilarious

vinna saviour said...

Hahahahahaha funny father

Anonymous said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

lmao. Sai baba

Kolawole Akerele said...

Lmao. Hilarious

Www.insuranceinfoandtips.com

Puddy Alpheaus said...

Beautiful satire

JP said...

Quite hilarious! This phase too will pass.

Abdulmalik Yusuf said...

Lol

sharonrosey babe said...

Haha....hilarious

Anonymous said...

Buhahhahahahhahahqhahahahhaha...funny man indeed

Apple Berry said...

Lolz. Tyrant dad

zinyet fanda said...

wow...lol....serious memo

Anonymous said...

Funny.
LWKM. Laugh at Nigeria's funniest pictures here

JOYOUS said...

lwkmd ooooo

RareSpecie Z said...

Dumb @No5#

Anita Otabor said...

So funny#strict dad#

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahaha@ "Sing to them and "bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons". I can't just stop laughing.

Juliet Iwuno said...

Hehehe! Dis is so so funny. Linda take note!

Oluchi Okere said...

Funny dad.

Great G said...

Lol

Chiimike2015 said...

Lol, No.6 cracked me up #sing for dem indeed#

Anonymous said...

see what the country has turn people.Anyway Linda take note

Ollie 78 said...

My broda, I no blame you. I thought my husband had lost his mind until I read your laws and regulations.lol

Anonymous said...

Loll,i tell u that was the prt that got me too.

Tonnie Njong said...

I can't stop laughing.

bonny girl said...

Lol

ROYAL PRIESTHOOD said...

Tough measures for tough times. Dis is welcome development dat other homes should adopt.

eunymz said...

This is very funny ooooo,strict dad

EUNIQUE

Patrick T D-Urouna said...

Baba's income is in a critical condition..odikwa critical says the igbos.

OMIDAN ABBY said...

Lwtmb looooool
This kind dad eh
Town mayor ko, community head ni. Lool

Ogbukwa Blessing said...

Omg very hilarious

BEE said...

Cant stop laffing at d 6th and 9th rule

Anonymous said...

In other words, move out. You have your freedom outside of my house.

Vivian Reginalds said...

Lol seen previously
-D great anonymous now as Vivian Reginalds

Anonymous said...

Simeon memo has reached here!

Adaobilinda her sexcellency said...

Lol... hunger go finish dem be dat

Sandra Aham said...

Me too!! Lol

Jude Akinwole said...

Lol! Austerity measures

Ifeoluwa Ibrahim said...

Same with me I swear

Anonymous said...

Me too

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