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Saturday, 27 February 2010

Contributing for a wedding

Someone needs your opinion on a matter.

A very good friend of hers is getting married in April and the bride-to-be has asked all her friends to contribute a specific amount (N50, 000) to enable her do a 'proper' wedding. The 50grand she's requesting for is minus paying for asoebi and bridesmaids dress.

This lady says she has no problem with paying for the aso-ebi but she's totally reluctant to contirbute the 50grand and wants to know if she's right not to.***

Personally? Sincerely? I would contribute N50, 000 for a lot of things but I don't know about contributing for someone's wedding. If you can't afford a wedding, your man can't afford it...your family members can't afford it...then look for a sponsor. If you can't find one, then have a small wedding (basically cut your coat according to your size, right?). But if you want a big wedding, then wait until you can afford one, and not inconvenient others!

Also, if you can't afford a wedding, how can you afford a marriage, right? Some women don't seem to look beyond the wedding. Anyway, that's my opinion, what's yours???

Is it OK to ask your friends to contribute for your wedding?

Pls let us know what you think...

49 Comments:

  • At 27 February 2010 at 13:01 , Anonymous Eziaha said...

    I dont think it is morally right esp if tz just for the sake of a 'proper' weddin which i interprete as society weddin? Like u said if u cant afford that kind, cut ur coat according to ur cloth. My dear this is just simple WISDOM o.

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 14:08 , Anonymous Nnebuihe said...

    Hey Linda, I don't think it is right to have her friends contribute to her wedding. First of all, times are hard everywhere, it is called a "recession", she don't just do that to her friends,and if they have that kind of money and she has been a very good friend they will gladly give it to her. What if they don't have it and are barely making it for themselves. People should be considerate of others and the economy. If she and her husband-to-be are not able to pay for a big wedding, they can have something small but if she insist on having a big wedding, maybe another option is to postpone it until they have enough money for something big. A wedding is the same no matter how big or small the ceremony is.

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 15:43 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Women would always be women, all mouth and no shame. Its not by force to plan a big wedding, its also not by force to contribute to someone else wedding. . . . SMH.

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 15:54 , Blogger pink gloves said...

    the friend is reaching higher than she hung her basket. Ojulari, thats a lack of contentment on her part. I am waiting for the friend that will ask me to contribute for her wedding. Pple give u gifts, you dont ask it of the,, especially not monetarily. You can ask them to play roles in the wedding etc. But dont ask for money. Its tasteless.

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 15:59 , Blogger Sting said...

    You can contribute if u want and are able to. I personally wouldn't. I totally agree with u. Cut ur coat according to ur cloth, no be by force to do big wedding. Mschewwww!

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 16:07 , Blogger Femiluv said...

    That sounds wrong...I guess I'd do that for a friend if I had tons of billions stacked away or something like that.

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 16:17 , Blogger Jayla. said...

    I do not think that is right, giving them a specific amount to contribute. That is crazy as hell. I would not pay such levy

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 16:49 , Anonymous tomisin said...

    abeg, this is stupid. the woman sef has no shame asking her friends to contribute. If they r already contributing for wedding wat will they do after? she should have a small intimate thingy if she can't afford the proper one she wants.

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 17:07 , Blogger ibiluv said...

    she can stay single

    contribute???????????

    is she mad????????????

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 17:14 , Blogger Wild Boy said...

    Guess she thought the reporting b**ch was a friend dats why she asked for the 50 grand lift. I'm sure Nigerians aren't people who enjoy airing stuff like these in public. Obviously, she asked the wrong friend who aint supposed to be within her inner 'circle'. Society women do this crap all the time...dat's why their fights get messy...funny, they talk about every other thing but this when vexing their grievances in city people/encomiun...be careful who you take to the dance floor ooo!

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 18:35 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I disagree that if you cant afford a wedding, then you cant afford a marrige.

    Any contribution to a friend's wedding must be voluntary, never obligatory. I have friends that we the friends totally took over their wedding, but that was our choice never the bride imposing on us. So it might be time to have a quiet but nice chat with friend.
    If its my good friend (you better be to even be asking me for such), then there should be no reason why i cant sit them down and have good chat why its not right to expectthat of friends...

    I wish the marrying couple a blissful life ahead but they need to get their priorities right and very quickly.

    Get married on a week day and invite close family & friends only.

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 19:03 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    we should learn from other better make a happy and understanding home than a big wedding,in western
    world they think much of future,if friend contribute for wedding,who will contribute for children education and other thing that make home happy,there are many way to share with friends other than big wedding,let encourage boy to marry by stoping contribution for wedding

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 19:14 , Anonymous F said...

    Men... That friend must be smoking some expired weed... Why should this lady contribute towards the friend's wedding? It is ridiculous... I agree with you Linda. We would all like to live a fairytale life but sometimes we have to wake up and be realistic. Apart from the greed involved in wanting something beyond her grasp, this friend is obviously selfish and a user as well to capitalise on others for wedding fundraising. I hope this is a work of fiction sha; I am finding it too difficult to believe...

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 19:21 , Anonymous Deedee said...

    What sort of rubbish is that like you said cut your cloth according to your size. Why should one go around begging for money to do a "proper" wedding. I think it is our nigerian culture and nigerian mentality that has messed with our reality.
    In naija, Weddings are no longer meaningful. The bigger the better. Everything is all about showing off and outdoing each other.

    If I was just one person she borrowed from I think thats ok. But several people thats just pure greed.

    So NO, dont give her the money oh

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 19:48 , Blogger ~Sirius~ said...

    This is a BIG NO NO!!!!

    It's one of two things...she wants a glamorous wedding......so everybody can say...oooh, aaaah it was very beautiful/nice (on whose bank balance?!)

    Or peer pressure...which is almost the same as the former.

    On the contrary I'm not a huge fan of weddings especially large and glamorous ones, I believe the couple would benefit a lot more if they had all that money to start life.....

    In my own opinion, I would disagree with the statement "Also, if you can't afford a wedding, how can you afford a marriage, right?"

    Marriage doesn't require a lump sum of 2-10 million to kick off(average sum for a decent wedding in Lagos depending on the number of guests)

    At least it's just the guy and the girl for the 1st couple of months - just over a year.

    Granted there will be house to home tasks, but those can be done gradually (if they are not already in place.)

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 19:52 , Blogger Tatababe said...

    Personally, I won't contribute nada. I can understand paying for the aseobi or/and bridesmaid dresses but say contribute for her to have a "proper" wedding? No!
    Why have a wedding if u can't afford one?

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 20:01 , Blogger Udegbunam Chukwudi said...

    HELL NO! TUFIAKWA. What a messy porridge!

    Why would I pay for somebody's wedding. NA BY FORCE?

    Besides I hate this ytradition of brides making demands of their bridemaids. It so BROKE ASS.

    If you wan marry be prepared to foot the bill. And like you rightly said, what then happens after the wedding?

    You'll both live broke happily ever after abi?

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 20:03 , Blogger Udegbunam Chukwudi said...

    Oh girl. Tell your friend say you no fit simple ;).
    If she's truly your friend, give it to her straight.

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 21:04 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I heard of a girl who asked people to contribute but wanted a wedding in two cities and people were shocked.

    It is better to save by working for some years than become a nincompoop among your friends and family.

    Why not go to the registry first and do the wedding ceremony later? People do not like the truth so give whatever you can contribute.

    The Igbo people sponsor weddings but the Yoruba do not seem to do that! It is rare to see a Yoruba sponsored wedding.

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 21:12 , Blogger wannabewriter said...

    HELL NOOO!!!...i will do asoebi and maybe help out with a little money but if you are insisting that i contribute money for your wedding as if na by force then you don miss road be dat because i will not be contributing *hiss*

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 21:29 , Blogger Myne Whitman said...

    Linda, I'm with you totally on this one. Cut your coat to your material please..

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 21:39 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    very funny!!!the friend should cut her cloak according to her size and go and do court wedding ...haba!!is it by force...how can u just expect all your friends to drop N50k...is the she not even ashamed to ask...Its different if you want to borrow money from friends but to ask everyone to contribute....

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 23:00 , Blogger Dith said...

    wow! That bride na thief sha. Na only 50 grand? 1mill nko?

    My sentiments exactly Linda. Folks in naija are more obsessed abt the wedding than d marriage itself.

    Hvn ur friends pay for d aso-ebi is understandable but if u can't afford a top notch wedding, go 2 court and call it a day and stop trying to milk ur poor friends. Ahn ahn kilode? lol

     
  • At 27 February 2010 at 23:06 , Anonymous Kemster said...

    Yay! i'm 1st!!!lol...
    My goodness...if the chic asking for contributions was my friend...i would advise her to quit disgracing herself. what kind of crap is that?! A wedding is a celebration of a union not a show off thing and this is even terrible cos u dnt even hv the dough to show off yet u want to show off...na wa oh....terrible is all i can say. I truly wonder what sort of wife she is gonna make. in one sentence: Cut ur Coat according to ur size.Shikena.

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 00:08 , Anonymous Samantha said...

    50,ooo gini??....For wattttttttttttt??? In dis hard time??....She is very verrrrrrry stupid. Imagine d guts. I will contribute nada....Kiss my fucking teetttth!!!!!...Mshhhhhweeew.

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 01:58 , Anonymous Sade said...

    It is so wrong....y should people contribute "forcefully" towards a wedding? its better to cut ur coat according to ur material and dont try to be what you are not...the bride sure has some issues...she needs help!

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 04:15 , Blogger SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL said...

    Linda you have said it all and I quite agree. It is very ridiculous when you hear these stories......Meanwhile how far? I no see your brakelight again o.

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 12:02 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Utter rubbish,ideally ,i would even give a friend a token as support ,to being 'levied ' for it is ridiculous!
    if she doesnt feel like it,she shld nt do it

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 14:18 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    serious case of 'bridezilla-itis'

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 15:29 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hell to the fridging NO! There are a lot of things I would do for my friends but I would not let "a friend" take advantage of me. I cannot see any sensible reason to contribute towards a friends wedding. I would on the other hand, depending on d friend take aso ebi or even do wedding sourvenirs.
    I just don't think its right to ask for such!

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 15:29 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Hell to the fridging NO! There are a lot of things I would do for my friends but I would not let "a friend" take advantage of me. I cannot see any sensible reason to contribute towards a friends wedding. I would on the other hand, depending on d friend take aso ebi or even do wedding sourvenirs.
    I just don't think its right to ask for such!

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 15:36 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    waoh!! Is this the new trend? It is so wrong. Like u said, she needs to cut her coat according to her size. I bet u she will now bear permanent malice with those who do not contribute and say they do not want her "progress". bad riddance, bad rubbish. What's next? come help me sleep with my husband because I cannot afford to?

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 18:31 , Blogger Aisha Bukky Ifeoma said...

    Mtseeew! For what na?
    Girls r funny

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 18:46 , Blogger willE said...

    Why should i ? Na me dey marry am? She's trying to be what she's not and it wont get her any where neither will that kind of wedding. If she doesn't have money for a white wedding, you can do a private wedding if you must goto church and celebrate later or do a court marriage without people knowing. For me as long as the husband has paid the bride price and done all necessary things, they should focus on building a family not impressing people.

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 20:34 , Anonymous Nnenna said...

    O HELLS NO

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 22:46 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    How about hell NO! It is in no way appropriate to ask for friends to give you that much money - or ANY money for the wedding! The nerve of some people? Why? Are u the one getting married? Abeg save ur money! And don't give it to her - that is how come other people fell justified in making such absurd demands - the other woman asked for it and got it, so why can't I.....madness!

     
  • At 28 February 2010 at 23:29 , Blogger aweleuju said...

    LMAOOOOOOOOO........ I have never heard of such a thing before. I have heard of people giving cos they want to help but never of being 'asked' by the 'bride'.

    hmmmm I really don't know what I would do.

     
  • At 1 March 2010 at 01:00 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I would not pay the 50,000 naira. The wedding has nothing to do with me, i'm recieving no benefit unless i meet a guy there and get married myself and the bride intends to donate 50,000 towards my wedding. You may have a gift list and i decide which of your preferred gift i get for you. However, as a guest it is my decision as to what gift i give IF i even decide to give a gift.
    If you cannot afford a wedding now, i suggest you wait.

     
  • At 1 March 2010 at 01:40 , Anonymous Ada (a 2010 bride) said...

    As a bride planning her wedding in a few mths, I'll like to think this is ludacris o!! Naija madness alert!! In that case, that means I'll just get 10 bridesmaid, and voila N500k...NONSENSE!!

    Asoebi craze is madness too, esp when bride gets some expensive lace. I mean I can understand ankara, or gele.

    Her bridesmaids must love her if they stay on board sha, cos stuff like this will make me say "no cant do!"

    I mean I am having a big wedding but thats because of my parents, and they equally decided to support the cause by helping us financially.

    The bride sef no dey shame. In that case she should tell hubby to get 10 groomsmen and tell them to do the same, and voila N1mil.

    Its one thing when people willingly donate because they want to, not because you tell them to.

     
  • At 1 March 2010 at 05:12 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    lol..funny.
    "if you can't afford a wedding, how can you afford a marriage, right?" ..well you wrong. it depends on the the couple involved.but in this case, i dont think the woman is really for a marrige if she cant cut a coat according to her size.

     
  • At 1 March 2010 at 08:23 , Blogger TheJunkie said...

    nope, nope, no, and say it w a smile.

    Abeg!!!

     
  • At 1 March 2010 at 09:18 , Blogger histreasure said...

    really??? is she on some cheap crack? and when she's had her baby, she'll demand friends contribute so she can have a proper ahild-naming or dedication, abi? some people r funny..

     
  • At 1 March 2010 at 16:13 , Anonymous afrochic said...

    this isn't even worth discussing. Just 5 words. na by force 2 marry?

     
  • At 1 March 2010 at 16:47 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Mennnnn, Naija na wa! I hope this is a joke o, chei! N50k isn't that like $500? OMG, please let one of my friends (and thank God that I don't have these kinds of friends)for some unfortunate reason start smoke meth and crack in the same glass pipe and ask me to contribute $500 to her wedding, that would be the day looks would actually drop a person! Nonsense! I wonder if her fiance knows that she has made this suggestions to her friends? This na high way robbery, abeg. Tufiakwa, Chineke me!

    I don't know why Nigerian like to keep up with the Jones too much. If you no get, manage your matter on your level with dignity and grace. Me sef, I went to a beautiful park with my husband and our two witnesses and the pastor, arranged a nice dinner in an elegant restaurant for our parents, siblings and closest friends. It was the best! Only the people we knew were there for us, not just people coming to gawk and calculate how much my dress, shoes and other things cost. By God's loving grace, next year we will have a wedding celebration after we have saved our own money for it instead of burdening parents. And quite frankly, if that turns out to be too much of a pain in the arse, I have told my hubby that might be cancelled too, hell I need a house more than I need 200 people eating my food jare lmao.

     
  • At 1 March 2010 at 20:43 , Anonymous Mrs.Marek said...

    I will give her the N50,000 IF she was marrying a David Beckham/Tyson Beckford look alike that I get to sleep with three days a week plus alternate weekends! Foolish woman with big eyes for things she can't afford!

     
  • At 2 March 2010 at 06:35 , Anonymous Stella said...

    Well i think someone should jus sit d bride down n talk some sense into her. She is insane or what.

     
  • At 2 March 2010 at 13:11 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    There is actually a way around all of this. All she needs to do is join the storm to www.namywedding.com and stand a chance to win a N4million naira wedding. She needs to hurry though cos the competition closes on March 12.

     
  • At 3 March 2010 at 20:17 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    50K!!!!!!!! GEEEZ.i cn undatsand pple contributing willingly but not by demand.....wen its not as if we r both gettn married 2 d same man on d same day......

     
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