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Sunday, February 17, 2008

Little Johnny Jokes + Animal crackers & Mischievious kids

It's 3am in the morning and I'm still awake. A nutritionist recommended something for me to take to help with my appetite (still trying to add a little weight) and instead of making me sleep, its keeping me awake. Not fair o!

So instead of just lying awake on the bed...let's blog.

Little Johnny jokes
LITTLE JOHNNY ON GETTING OLDER
Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. "Did your grand father eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
"No" replied Little Johnny , "he minded his own fucking business!!"

LITTLE JOHNNY ON... PHILOSOPHY
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little JOHNNY . He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

LITTLE JOHNNY ON... MATH:
Little Johnny returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
" Why?" asks the father."
"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied JOHNNY .
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference? " asks the father.
"That's what I said!"

LITTLE JOHNNY ON... ENGLISH:
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
JOHNNY says " Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little JOHNNY , that's a mouthful."
Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

LITTLE JOHNNY ON... GRAMMAR:
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on little JOHNNY .
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"


KKK endorses Obama...wonder shall never end!


KKK members in Tennessee rally against Hillary Clinton and support Barack Obama

White Christian Supremacist group the Klu Klux Klan has endorsed Barack Obama to be the next President of the United States of America .

Speaking from his Kentucky office in Dawson Springs, the Imperial Wizard exclaimed that anything or anyone is better than having that "crazy ass bitch" as President.

Animal crackers
























Mischievious kids...some mothers do have 'em















Let me go back to bed to see if I can catch some sleep. If I had a man lying next to me, this would be the best time to wake him up...All night long...lol!

If this continues tommorrow, I'm dumping the vitamins in the trash....Ssshhh, don't tell her o...lol! But seriously what kind of vitamin keeps you awake? Or is there something else keeping me awake? My brain isn't even functioning well...
Anyway, I will survive!

Meanwhile, if you love art, click here to see the works of a Nigerian artist called Michael Adeniyi...http://www.artwanted.com/artist.cfm?ArtID=35818&SetBG=Yes
See y'all later.
Stay blessed!

11 comments:

mee said...

ya!!im first i tink..lol neways we r on d same boat ohh its xactly 3:07a.m here nd no sleep..y d kkk is realli a wonder sha..nice post had mi lawlin abt johnny nd d lil kids..

Anonymous said...

Linda, ebe like say u like u some whitey.

Nothing spoil sha....

Just a thought....

Linda Ikeji said...

@anon 3:57.whitey?...what do ya mean? white men? Naaaah! White people and things? yep!

zee said...

hey linda, i wanted to ask you what ur nutrtionist recommended. i am also trying to seriously gain some weight. thx dearie

remi said...

i love the art.how can i contact him?

Anonymous said...

the kkk has lost their damn mind.HILARIOUS

truth said...

lol. little johnny is a big time tout.lol.nice post.

Anonymous said...

The KKK Story is (very obviously) false.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/kkk.asp

Juliana said...

Hi Linda,
beautiful love story you have here between you and O.
Some of us pray to enjoy such love that brings tears to my eyes.
Wish u luck girl and surely this time it will definately comes to pass. make sure i get invitation o!

Anonymous said...

Well I to but I think the post should prepare more info then it has.

JOKESFB said...

Very funny pics , I love to visit daily to see more fun collection , Thanks a Lot