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Thursday, February 21, 2008

The person in the mirror

People close to me will tell you I hardly pass a mirror without stealing a glance at myself. Oh I love looking at myself. Not to check if there's a freckle on my face or if my lipstick is smudged or if I look good without make-up, or if my hair is out of place...oh no, I don't care about such things. I look at myself because I love what stares right back at me...ME! I love me so much...much more than anyone else loves me.

I don't feel there's anyone more beautiful than me, more intelligent than I am, more decent, more friendly. I don't care if you have the best life, the best job, beauty, fame, wealth etc...I don't wish to be you!

There are people who inspire and motivate me...in fact I have a role model...but there's no one I would rather be but ME

Oh I love me...so much!

In this society, we're taught that praising ourselves is selfish and wrong. If it's wrong and selfish, then I want to be wrong and selfish. Because I know praising myself for things that are good about me helps me love myself more and nourishes my self-worth.

I'm never scared to say what I feel, how I feel it. What I think and how I think it. A reader of this blog sent me a text yesterday and said 'Never change your down to earth way of blogging'. The thing is; I don't know how to be anything but down to earth. Loving myself gives me a lot of self confidence, makes me more true to myself and most importantly the ability to be free.

There are people out there who for reasons best known to them don't like themselves. Is it because of what people say to you or about you? To hell with people! They don't know you, you shouldn't give them the right to bring you down. I'm not saying you shouldn't listen to what people have to say about you...you should! But don't let their criticisms break your spirit. Because I know for sure when everyone around you tells you you're worthless, you start to believe it. How can everyone be wrong? you'll wonder. Oh, they can be wrong! And they are wrong! What do they know about you?
They have no right to tell you you're a bad person.
They have no right to tell you you will fail.
They have no right to spread false rumours about you.
They do have a right to dislike you...and you have a right...not to care.

If people give themselves the right to bring you down without your permission, then take the right back by not giving a HOOT what they think, by being gentle with yourself. By being kind to yourself. By being patient with yourself. By praising yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing. Treat yourself as you would treat that someone you love with all your heart.

Love yourself for being who you are, doing what you do, saying what you say, thinking what you think, and feeling what you feel. When you do that, you make space for yourself to be, do, think, feel, express, and accept yourself as you are.

On this blog there are people who for reasons best known to them send me nasty comments...very very nasty comments. When I see this comments I smile. It doesn't bug me at all. Sometimes I wish I could extend a hand of friendship to these negative people because I know they have a problem...but they come as anonymous...what can I do? But more than those who are nasty, I believe that at least 80% of readers of this blog genuinely like me...why? I think when people see you radiating self love...they are drawn to you!

It hasn't always been like this for me. There was a time in my life when people's opinion mattered so much. If I heard anything negative about myself, I won't be able to sleep for days. I go around trying to be nice...looking for approval, trying to defend myself. But one day I realised that people's opinion don't define who I am.

For instance, I used to be good friends with comedian Tee A. In my first year in Unilag, Tee A was in his final year. We were friends for a short while and...weren't friends anymore. Several years later he told someone close to me that I am a 'club girl'. You know what it means to be called a club girl in Nigeria? When I heard it, I confronted him. I said to Tee A, have you ever seen me in a club? a party? in a hotel with an pot bellied man? I don't do stuff like that...don't ever say such things about me ever again. (Of course he denied saying it)

That experience taught me that people will think and say what the hell they like about you regardless of who you really are. They take you at face value. How can you call me a club girl when I don't even go to clubs. I don't have anything against clubbing, but it's just not my scene. All through my years in the university I can count how many times I went to a club. Usually after a fashion show that ended late and the models couldn't go home or an after party at a club after a show. Left to me I'd rather sit at home watching TV or read. So how do you justify calling me a club girl? Where did that come from?

As I grew older I realised some people derive a lot of pleasure in bringing others down. I also realised that those in the habit of doing so are people with self loathing. They themselves hate who they are and try to bring you down to their level by trying to break your spirit with hurtful words.

People who don't like themselves are people who are empty inside.

You want to be as beautiful as Genevieve Nnaji but you are not.

You want to be as famous as Tuface...but you're not.

You want to be as a rich as JJ Okocha...but you're not.

You want to be as intlligent as Wole Soyinka...but you are not

You want to sing like Fela Anikulapokuti...but you can't

You want to write as well as Chimamanda Adichie...but can not

you want to speak as eloquently as Fela Durotoye...but can't

So what if you're not? So what if you can't? There's something you have that no one else in the world has. There's something beautiful inside you...find it, appreciate it. Accept yourself exactly as you are.

Stop criticising yourself, it never changes a thing. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive. Make the decision to love yourself in every moment...unconditionally...no matter what. When you learn how to fulfill yourself in that way, you stop searching for it outside of yourself and you begin to appreciate the person staring right back at you in the mirror.

Whatever your situation, whatever you've heard, whatever bad experiences you've had, no matter what mistakes you've made in the past, take a moment next time you look into a mirror, muster up a bit of kindness and acceptance for the person looking right back at you. Just because people say we're no good, doesn’t mean we have to believe them.

Here's the chorus to Mary J Bliges' new single...'Just Fine'
So I like what I see when I'm looking at me when I'm walking past the mirror
No stress through the night, at a time in my life ain't worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind right I aint gonna let you kill it
You see I wouldn't change my life, my life's just..
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, oooohFine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooooh
You see I wouldn't change my life, my life's just fine

And like Whitney Houston said in her song 'Greatest love of all'
"Learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all,"

So love yourself...UNCONDITIONALLY! No one deserves your love more than you!

64 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you Linda, I really needed to hear this today. God bless you

A

Anonymous said...

Do you know what?? I read your blog almost everyday and this is my first time putting something down. "I love you girl". Any time i read your blog i like what i see. Keep it up girl!!!

Anonymous said...

Do you know what?? I read your blog almost everyday and this is my first time putting something down. "I love you girl". Any time i read your blog i like what i see. Keep it up girl!!!

moi said...

Do you know what?? I read your blog almost everyday and this is my first time putting something down. "I love you girl". Any time i read your blog i like what i see. Keep it up girl!!!

Lilian Michael said...

Linda dear, this is such a touching article. I really understand where you are coming from with this one. I have had to learn from experience myself. Like you, I used to seek approval when I was younger, I used to care very much what people thought of me but my love, not anymore. I learnt the harsh way. People I thought were my friends thought they can remove that sunshine from my life just because they saw something in me that they can never have, or never be. I have always been an achiever, a dreamer of big things, and a go getter yet, I am this humble, intelligent, soft spoken individual. People took advantage of the soft side of me and thought they would break me but NO, I did not let them get me. That fighter, that accomplishing spirit in me kept me going for higher things, achieving my dreams and moving and mixing with greater minds instead of listening to people with small minds. Their opinion of me didn’t matter anymore, I learnt to love myself, be myself, and speak out when I am not happy with situation. I love myself Linda, I love my life and just like you, I don’t wish to be anyone else even just for a second. You go girl. xxxxx

funmi said...

its god to really know one's self worth and most importantly to love ones self. I grew up in a family where I was brought up to feel very happy with myself and know how unique i was as a person which has been an integral part of my life. I became quite fat along the line but still I know that I am the most beautiful anyone could ever be. I went out with a loser once who tried to bring me down by telling me i was fat needed to lose weight and all that to say i dropped him like a piece of hot coal is an understatement
so yes like you i love me i love me so much that when there is no one to hug me i hug me so ladies and gentlemen feel good about yourslef

oniosomi said...

Hello,

You go girl, am loving these recent publications of yours. Very encouraging especially about the one of loving oneself as right now, that is what i need to do, i shouldn't listen to what people think of me. I have that problem; to be approved and appreciated which one might not get all time as nobody would love you like yourself. However, remember also that you need the love of God in addition because He says we are beautifully and wonderfully made, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, so don't let people define who you are. Thanks Linda, love you so much

oniosomi said...

Hello,

You go girl, am loving these recent publications of yours. Very encouraging especially about the one of loving oneself as right now, that is what i need to do, i shouldn't listen to what people think of me. I have that problem; to be approved and appreciated which one might not get all time as nobody would love you like yourself. However, remember also that you need the love of God in addition because He says we are beautifully and wonderfully made, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, so don't let people define who you are. Thanks Linda, love you so much

Today's ranting said...

very insightful post! awwwwwwwwww I Love meeeeeeee.

Anonymous said...

Hi Linda, you sure do get the facts out in your writeups and i must say i agree with you 100% on this (Loving Me). I personally don't give 2 hoots what people think about me, the way i choose to live my life and all that. Growing up, what people thought really affected me and i must say my case was worsen by the fact that i was very shy growing up, but sometime when i was in the university i realised that i couldn't keep up with letting people bring me down. I must say that you should be a motivational speaker for young people out there cos alot of youths make lifetime mistakes thinking that other peoples opinion of who they should be will make people love them more. Lets learn to love ME and only ME.

Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Well said my dear, well said.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Linda

Anonymous said...

Yu are right, if you dont celebrate you, who else will? Have u noticed God does not ask for other peoples' approval before and after creation process so why shd u asks for approval either.

For me, I am black, blessed and I am loving it.

Stay Blessed

I celebrate You.

Juliana said...

Linda! Linda!! Linda!!!

My dear,
you are my babe any day any time. My late mum use to say: "Julie dear, the mouth is meant 4 talking so if you think nobody will ever talk about you, then you are not existing on this earth. You are nice they will say you are pretending, you are harsh they will say who go marry dis one? So my dear provided God is happy with you and your conscience does not judge you, don't live your life pleasing anybody. It won't change a thing".

My mum started drumming that into my ears when I was almost going crazy about side talks. There were times I felt if I am hurt by anybody I can carry it for days if not months. I always want to prove them wrong and would go about explaining to whoever cares to listen my own version.

There was a day I heard one terrible gist about me. It was so bad I had to ask could that be me? I was even confused that it was me bcos the picture didn't fit.

So my dear I feel you.
My Pastor says if you are not talked at you are not making impact.

I'll tell you that it was when my mum died that I said to hell with everybody else. If I earn N100, 99.9% will be on me. I make me happy. I can buy whatever I like, wear what I like, eat what I like no matter the cost becos u know what? It is my sweat!

So I feel you dear. You see why I read you blog daily? You are so inspirational.
Like this part the most:
"They have no right to tell you you're a bad person.
They have no right to tell you you will fail.
They have no right to spread false rumours about you.
They do have a right to dislike you...and you have a right...not to care"
and this:
People who don't like themselves are people who are empty inside. You want to be as beautiful as Genevieve Nnaji but you are not. You want to be as famous as Tuface...but you're not. You want to be as a rich as JJ Okocha...but you're not. You want to be as intlligent as Wole Soyinka...but you are notYou want to sing like Fela Anikulapokuti...but you can'tYou want to write as well as Chimamanda Adichie...but can notyou want to speak as eloquently as Fela Durotoye...but can'tSo what if you're not? So what if you can't?

Alexis said...

Linda,

This is a master piece. I agree with you totally and your writings here resonate with my personality. I am one of those whose love for my very self reeks of conceitedness. In fact, I am what you will call a B.I.T.C.H meaning Babe In Total Control of Herself. Years ago, I was like you. Very worried about what people used to say about me, always trying to please everyone and looking for validation until one day, I said the heck with it. I took a good and long look at myself in the mirror, checked my credentials and my upwardly mobile station in life and it dawned on me that I have no reason not to be EXTREMELY CONFIDENT IN MY SKIN. Right now, I am a self assured babe who has the singleness of purpose, strength of Xter and a good strategy of resolve. This write up is a good one for those who are yet to discover who they are, those who do not believe in themselves.
Linda keep up the good work. You are such an enigma.

Sasha said...

Well written. I couldn't agree more Linda. Guess there is nothing more to say. You have said it all. I have learnt a thing or 2 from this post and from now on, i will love myself as i am, no matter what. You know, we need to hear these things sometimes to lift our spirit and tell us that all hope is not lost. Thanks for this post. It is indeed a beautiful one.

ibiluv said...

well said

your moi moi loving friend in london said...

awwww hun this is so touching. good on you girl. you know i'm proud of you always. you speak the truth and i pray all your dreams are fulfilled and you continue to be a source of inspiration to other aspiring women.

i have very few friends today because of this gossip thing caused by jealousy. i'm sorry you had to go through all that, but most importantly, you've come out of it stronger and wiser.

i have been unable to text nigeria for three days now. all the texts i sent you after i read about your friend's demise, kept bouncing. i hope you're aight now. sorry about that.

i'd def ring you soon. you know our own gist takes hours.

take care of you babe. luv ya loads.

big hug
xxx

truth said...

I see you've decided to go on a weeklong inspirational mood. Awesome!
I share your thoughts here. A classmate in grad sch once told me from my behavior she sensed I held little regard for other people's opinion of me. You sure know what my response was....why should i care so much about what people think when they are just as human as I am.

Honestly, people who suck up to others irritate the crap outta me. Get some self-confidence. The one you're sucking up to is sucking that outta you.

The plain truth.


take care

Ifeomaadiagwuagwu said...

Preach it baby... preach it, that's what i'm talking about.

Linda, you've said it all.

Self love is the key.

Thank you, Linda Ikeji.

mystoriesmytestimonies said...

i have to say ...
U WRITE SO WELL...

i really really like this post..
my slang in high school was ' be yourself'...
along the way i forgot my slang...i got caught up in vanity.. but i am glad God has opened my eyes to what is real..

yeah... love urself no matter what... at the end of the day..u have to live with urself everyday... I LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEE....

THANK YOU LINDA FOR THIS POST...
u deserve an award for this post and the last one' this thing called life'...

u should be a motivational speaker...

Anonymous said...

Err its all good to have a strong sense of self, and to be confident in all you do. However, it is also important to be realistic, and Ms Linda baby, you are mos def not the most beautiful chick around! That mirror is lying to you baby!

Dimeji said...

Hey Linda
If 80% approves of you and they say you are good, forget about the the other 20%. Whether good or bad let people talk about you, that is a sign that you are still relevant in the society.We(your friends) love you.

Anonymous said...

I believe this is my first comment directed to you since i found your blog during the moji onabanjo's saga. You are right on points with all you written. There is always going to be haters no matter what, but you have to shake them off, cause they never mount to anything better. What i have discover is that people that say negative things about someone, wish they can be that person and they can't so what is better than spoil that person to make them feel good about themselves.

Anonymous said...

Well said Linda! I was at LakeWood Chruch last sunday and you're sounding like Joel Osteen...

Godisalive said...

I feel u Linda. Love urself and never let anyone put u down. Visit my new best friend TESTIMONIAL JOURNEY to see what I am going thru but damnnnnn im still strong cuz God has a path set for us.

All d best hun

http://testimonialjourney.blogspot.com/

Adaomega said...

U gat it going on sista Girl!! What got into U. Loving it. :-*)
Kudos

Anonymous said...

Girl, I'm really touched and what you said is soooo true. I too went through a stage where I cared about what people said about me but of course I grew out of it--thank God. I've always been a very confident person and some people saw it as being conceited, which I'm definitely not. Believe me when I tell you that people have tried and still try to bring me down but unfortunately for them, I love myself and know myselt too much to care bc their opinion about me is worth less than a penny anyway. I really appreciate your taking out time and sharing your wonderful thoughts. You should definitely think about writing a book or something if you're not doing that already. I'll really like to meet you when I visit Naija again. Take care dear, remain blessed, and keep loving yourself.

Paris said...

linda i can genuuinely say i love u..lol no homo!
just genuine plain sisterly love.
i havent even met u....how crazy?? usually when people have these long speeches on their blog, i go straight 2 d comments w/o even reading d post or just exit but with u, i read every tinnie little bit of it cos its just so real.

genevieve nnaji was a good example. pple have so much negative stuff 2 say abt her but none of them actually happen 2 know her personally?? WTF??
heck let me use me as an example! oh! how i wish u kno what i hear abt myself on the daily, u'ld begin 2 ask urself r u d same person they r talkin abt or someone else.
im learning 2 grow into d stage of being absolutely selfish and not bothering abt wat others say. i mean pple already think i am a snub anyways, but i still care abt what pple say 2 an extent.
i want 2 only bother about pple of great importance 2 me like my family(immediate that is) not those cousins, aunties, and uncles that are all over d damn place... matter of fact most of the crap i hear abt myself usually stems from them and then ofcourse u have d jealous twats that see u at occassions and all of a sudden think they know u.

u know what let me just stop here cos i can go on and on. if u kno me, i dont have so much "close friends" and i like it that way cos even these so called friends cannot be trusted especially the female ones.
i still regard most of my friends back in nigeria as dear 2 me than most of these fake broads livin here. i call them acquintances.

nehow sha very well written my dear....

Anonymous said...

Linda what a nice write up. I always look forward to reading in your block niyi and bella naija. As someone living in the diaspora this is one ways i keep tab of home. Keep up the good work

wendu

BOBBY said...

THIS IS BY FAR THE HOTTEST POST YOU HAVE EVER WRITTEN.

I agree with you Linda, there is something likeable about you. I personally think you are a strong powerful person. You do so many things...and sometimes i wonder how you cope...lol. But you have talent in many areas, so why not go for it aye?

I met you at the future awards, you have the warmest smile everrr!...and i said to myself, i gotta go see Linda. On my brain like all the time but never got around to it.

So yes i admit, i was drawn to you. I find you interesting...and i think many great things of you.

Continue to do you and dont let anyone pull you down ever.

What you have written here today will touch MANY MANY people.

A toast...to you!

Bobby Taylor.

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Anonymous said...

I love u Linda!!!
You are the best!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Linda what you say is true. However, I must say that I have been a victim of negative stories being peddled about me. To say the truth, your blog has carried some stories about me that are untrue which have been emailed to me...

the truth is I dont know you and I have never met but I was not too happy when I see what you cull from mags about me that are untrue.. All I can say is that when you want to blog some of these things, if you dont have your facts right or the accuracy of the story, please dont blog about it. As painful as you were when Tee-A painted you in a light that you were not is the same pain I feel when sometimes I read the stories you put in the name of entertainment news which are untrue. I dont hate you as you are clearly gifted but give it some thought - What goes around comes around they say.... -

Habeeb said...

I am more than inspired by this beautiful piece Linda, i must say that it was just as if you were talking directly to me. I do know that its not easy not to listen to what people think about you but i am getting to that stage, what matters most to me most is what i think of myself and i am learning to love and appreciate myself day by day. I believe i am special, gifted and wonderful. I might have made mistakes in the past but i am only human and that doesnt make me less special. I have dreams, aspirations and i would pursue them, i will never let anyone run me down or make me feel bad about myself. Linda you have made my day with this piece and i must say you are the girl.

Anonymous said...

thank u 4 letting me believe in myself this is da best da best article in ur blog couz i read it everyday. thank u i need to be happy in my own skin wotever happens.

Anonymous said...

Hey Linda,

Thank you so much for that inspiring message. I needed that knock on the head to remind me of that. Still working on loving myself unconditionally everyday.
I am starting to realise everyday that i am beautiful inside and out and everytime someone undermines that i know i deserve better. It's not easy when even loved ones knock your spirit and they dont even know they are doing it. You really are a star. mwaaaah!! have a nice weekend. God bless.

kemi lagos

misspumping said...

linda you struck a chord there .

it is so true that happiness come from within however sometimes external factors can contribute .

However i always say to myself if somebody wants to cause me grief/stress. PLEASE DONT STRESS ME I CANT KILL MYSELF FOR YOU COS IF WAS THE OTHER WAY ROUND I KNOW YOU WONT KILL YOURSELF FOR ME. .And for some strange reason it works and i feel better immediately

Kike said...

My goodness!!! Whilst you do write well and I may be wrong in stating this but sometimes I feel that you use your blog to score cheap points against people ...

What if Tee A did not actually call you a "club girl"? Just as you expect people to give you the benefit of the doubt and not take you at face value, dont take others at face value too. Whilst I know you were making a point, you did not have to put the Tee A example. It seems like you are on some personal vendetta because reality is that you can say people will always say untrue things about you. You dont have to mention names ... its a tip and I hope you will think about it.

Ms. O said...

U go girl...preach on sista!!! lol...I like this post A LOT...Keep on doing r thing girl...u rock!!

Linda Ikeji said...

@kike...Tee A called me a club girl. That I know for a fact. And I have nothing against him...once I confront someone, it's over. I don't bear grudges. I have even written stuff about him on entertainment news, also promoted his comedy shows. so no hard feeling. im not explaining myself to u, just want u to understand better.
@anon 2:47. How can u come as anon to tell me I write false stories about u? Shudn't u come as urself so I know who is complaining? Besides, I always tell my readers not to believe everything they read and I have also decided to report only positive news from now on...so don't worry whoever u are
@everyone else...I'm glad u appreciate what I write and it makes a difference to u one way or the other. May God continue to guide us.

shola pacheco said...

linda,here's a big hug 4rm me

kelechi said...

Reading this has finally made me comfortable in my own skin cos i have finally realised that being me is okay. I can now stop crying myself to sleep cos being me is fine and i no longer wish to be like no one else but me cos im unique in my own right. Don't care what people think.

Thank you for making me feel okay. i really needed that.

Anonymous said...

I have read almost every single blog you posted since I discovered your blogging site. I must confess that I salute your ingenuity and how well you carefully compose your thoughts. I live outside Nigeria, and am always impressed to see young people like you breaking out of the horizon of excuses to a realm of possibility , and make something better for themselves in today's nigeria. Pls, do not relent, you are doing something big and you are a big inspiration. I need to add that its not that I endorse couple of your opionions in your previous blogs but I must confess that am a fan of your totality. Hopefully, we will meet one day. Stay great!
mayor_akins@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Nice write-up Linda...however, the name calling was sorta unnecessary. U could've gotten ur point across w/o doing so whether u reconciled w/ him or not. Just uncalled 4.
Secondly, I also notice that u like to drop names alot (ie mention alot of naija "celebs" u know or sorta sneak in stories or encounters w/them)...wonder if that makes u feel somewhat "elevated"....Just wondering..

Linda Ikeji said...

@1:28. What elevates me is succeeding in my chosen career, making a difference in someone's life, being relevant in my society, helping whenever I can and being close to God...not name-dropping. I don't know about u, but to me there's nothing elevating about knowing any celeb. I always name drop...that's the way I am. Can't help it...kisses!
@Kelechi...thank God.
@Shola, big hugs to u too.

Anonymous said...

Linda,
Nice one! I think most of the youths in Nigeria needs to read this piece and try to inculcate the core message into their daily lives. Due to the prevailing socio, economic and political challenges that paints a bleak picture of their future, they are easily attracted to and embrace negativities. Would be great if you can re-post this again sometime soon as a reminder.
That part about Tee A, I would say was unnecessary though. Distraction. Like you said, don't give haters the attention they seek. Ignore.
Nice piece Linda!

funkysoft said...

My name is FUNKE and i got your blogwww froma colleague at work and i have been reading your articles, every now and then nice one i must say
i particularly like dis article about THE PERSON IN THE MIRROR
i believe we are who we see ourselves to be i as a person am undaunted about what anybody says about me cos like u said in WHITNEY's song LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF IS THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL , I LOVE MYSELF ALOT and refuse to allow anybody bring me down
way to go gal i like the article alot

Anonymous said...

linda linda !! i agree that u shouldnt have named TeeA, and it did sound like u were still bitter about it, but you've explained yourself and thats okay.
having said that, your last two posts were a homerun !! you couldn't have said it any better and i'm damn SURE that you've helped a lot of people who read your blogs..(my humble self included )

i've made some bad choices in the past, but i LOVE who i am today regardless. i may not be the most beautiful girl in the world oh, but i know i am blessed in many ways than i even know..

some people are blind, some have one leg, some short but fine, some rich but fugly, so i look at the positives in ME and that overrides any flaws that people think you might have..
i dont give a RATS ASS about people who have nothing positive to say about me or others and i believe that people should learn from others BUT draw strength, self worth and confidence from within. no one else can do it for you but yourself..you can NEVER go wrong with that.

i dont think you should stop posting entertainment gist (good or BAD ) cos thats one of the things that make your blog 'special'.. you didnt write the stories and you clearly state that they are culled from the weekly soft sells.. so i beg, do your thing!!

love you to bits sista.. will definately try to reach you when i move back to naija cos i need 'sane' and inspiring people like you :)

Anonymous said...

its me again... i forgot to say to the anonymous person who said to linda that her mirror must be lying to her..

YOU CLEARLY MISSED THE POINT !!, and the article should have had your name on it cos she's talking about being able to look in the mirror and seeing the most beautiful person through YOUR own eyes, and not the eyes of LOSERS like you..

Orikinla Osinachi. said...

Linda Ikeji!
This is your best post so far.

Publish it in the next edition of your FM&B magazine and you can expand it into a motivational book.

The anonymous visitors who are posting hate comments are as you said, are troubled and wretched souls. God said in Isaiah 41, that you will look for them one day and you will not see tham again.

I have noticed that while God keeps lifting me higher and higher and I keep rising higher and higher and I keep shining bighter and brighter in the light of His countenance, the haters keep dropping out of sight, still groping in their darkness.

We have come a long way.

Keep shining and keep smiling.

You, Linda Ikeji, Estella of Estella Couture, Queen Ebong and Amima Sade are shining stars in my galaxy.

I am proud of you.

We are already making history and I am already telling and writing the history of our generation.

Have a beautiful and wonderful day.

Cheers and God bless.

E said...

Hey Linda,
Nice post, read through the comments. All i can say is do not let the annoymous cowards, pull u down. Stay strong.

Na wah for Nigerians O. We have a lot of haters amongst us.

Linda Ikeji said...

I always mention names...I guess to me it makes it more real! Nothing negative intended. @orikinla...kisses
@everyone else...Im glad u appreciate it. plenty kisses!

Flowers and Poetry said...

Thank you so much Linda. Indeed, you've gotta love yourself before you are truly able to understand why anyone else would!

I get the impression that you are a very genuine and honest "what-you-see-is-what-you-get" kind of person, and I sincerely like that about you. I do love your blog. Well done!!!

olufunmilola said...

Hi Linda, My name is Olufunmilola. I actually had this link emailed to me by one of my best girlfriends Funke who's posted a comment here too. I don't live in Nigeria and I am never a playa/sista hater...I respect all the soul sistas/playas doing their things and keeping it real (I need to clear the air on that 'cos of what I will type later on). I stopped caring a long time ago what pple thot of or about me and I stopped sweating the small stuff, cos mate; it’s still a very long walk to Eden, trust me I know.
I coined me a mantra as a kid that "if u don't know me or try to get to know me and u judge me, (just because you were fortunate to meet me once) to be what or who u think I am or perceive me to be, then that is ur loss and life's struggle". Whoever is not wearing my shoes will never know whether it pinches or not, he/she will never know why I walk, limp, run or dance, however, I have gone past the phase of trying to justify myself to anyone. I have never thot I had to prove a point to anyone and I’m one babe who's not going to adopt that loser's attitude at this age. Believe me, it’s pointless.
Now Linda, this brings me to my reason for posting this comment. I don't subscribe to pple giving u unwarranted grief over your blogs and then not be bold enough to include their names, neither do I subscribe to u (if it's true) not getting your facts straight before including them in your articles or blogs or whatever. I am not taking the piss, or taking sides here, neither am I taking any prisoners cos I really don't suffer fools (I don't have the patience as it's an absolute waste of precious time).
Linda, you write well and come across the pages of ur blogs as an okay person, “BUT” you can prove a point without getting personal and mentioning names. If you talk about pple without mentioning their names when it comes to personal issues, sista, believe me, it makes you the bigger and better person.
You really have a choice, btw allowing pple and their snide comments get to you or just seeing them as mere idiots, shrugging your shoulders at their imbecility and moving on with your life. I can also deduce from your replies to comments posted on here that you're quite feisty....girl, u really don't need allow pple get to you that much or get beneath your skin. Pple will always say their bit cos whether you like it or not, we've all got freedom of expression and opinions. I think you need to take a chill pill and take life less seriously.
I know that some pple will read my comments and label me whatever suits their fancy, but the truth is, I really can't be bothered, I believe in live and let live, not live and let die. To me, these pple are faceless, so why lose sleep over what someone might mean or not. Why develop wrinkles over what someone thinks or is trying to say? That just doesn't bear losing sleep over. Just think about that girl when u post ur reply to comments...if u can't take the negative comments and smile at them, and just generally let them be water off ur back, then I don't think u should be a blogger babes....no offence meant and I hope none taken.
You take care girl and keep it real.

Anonymous said...

Good stuff. Used to read your blog but sort of turned off when it became blogville's gbeborun central.

Look at all the comments that you received on this post & the earlier post.... It shows that you have an audience for quality. Pls dont go back to bringing extracts of Encomium etc to this blog cos you have proven that you have more substance than that.

Like you said what elevates you is "making a difference in someone's life" .. You make more of a difference writing these sort of things than gossiping about whats on encomium.My 2 cents....

Nijawife said...

Babe,you rock o.I love this piece.I use to use other people opinion of me as my yardstick for acceptance until it dawn on me,i was living for other people and belief me,i got the inspiration to be myself and love myself through friends i made through my blogs and since then,i do things to first for myself before others and i love myself for been me and thats not to say no considerations for others but i come first and nobody ever going to make me a footmat and iam happier for it.Go girl and be whatever you want to be

Taiye said...

@ anon 6.54
What these posts have shown is that Linda is gifted in many other ways. To say that Entertainment gist is what makes her blog rock is really cheapening her. There is much more to this blog than all the entertainment nonsense. If you want entertainment, go and buy City People etc and leave Linda to use her talents to inspire and encourage.

I personally stand against the negative entertainment stories. It really is no one's business what is happening in Obasanjo's family or in Amatas....

Anonymous said...

what is wrong in mentioning the A or whatever he is called? my mum saod don't say anything you dont lik eyour name being quoted with in public.

you haters saw that and forgot the spirit of the message. SHAME on you.

i don't agree with everything linda has as opinions i don't think her mum and dad do either. however, she is doing a great job and needs to be commended and encouraged. some of you will not know the amount of phone calls she would have to run to get some of this info here not talking other expences and time.

linda jare, some people are jealous and they must critricise. press your ignore botton.

get some of this things into your magazine and see how you can begin to syndicate them into other sources. and don't forget books and tapes/CD's. this is not school work. it is your gift that you must use well.

i commend you and hope you go places. as i said in another post hope to tune into any of these channels one day and see you there

Sasha said...

@ olufunmilola- You are so wrong girl. I applaud linda for the way she responds to haters and nay sayers. That doesn't mean she lets their comments get under her skin, their comments to her deserve a response and she does it gracefully without any malice. That doesn't make her feisty or bashful. You, in my opinion are the feisty one. Coming on here talking about somebody else being feisty and shit. Your comments came across as rude and unladylike.....and downright opinionated. You are actually as bad as the haters that come here to trash Linda. Why don't you start your own blog?...I bet you, you won't last a week with your stanky attitude.
Linda, i commend you efforts and please keep responding to comments when you feel the need to, it makes us know that you read our comments and that you care about us.
This is your blog so do with it as you please. Anyone who can't tolerate this blog, should buzz off. This blog is for mature audience only. I rest my case.

Linda Ikeji said...

@Sasha and anon...thanks for standing up for me...I feel blessed!
@olufunmilola. Don't forget that I have comment moderation which gives me the power to delete negative comments without anyone esle seeing it. U think I will upload it if it made me feel bad? Sweetheart I don't know u, so why shud ur opinion give me sleepless nights? I choose to upload the comments because I dont expect everyone to like me...No one is liked by everyone and besides I have learnt that it's very important to make everyone feel important but to think that I respond to this comments because it gets to me...babe, God has put me in a place little things like negative opinion can touch me...God approves of me, thats more than enough for me. Kisses!

Anonymous said...

You're the best. I turn 30 in a couple of months, and I was in a miserable relationship with a guy who constantly put me down and i lost my self esteem. i am trying to let go of the negativity, and I guess my mantra for this year is ME. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I'm 16 years old and ilove the work you're doig.Stay bless, wapisisisisisima