Monday, January 21, 2008

Why do bad things happen to good people? + Gbenga and Becky!

Hope y'all had a great weekend? Mine was going very well until I went to visit a sick relation yesterday, then everything kinda went downhill from that point.

Sometime last year, I wrote about going to visit a sick relation who had cerebral malaria. Well, she got out of the hospital after almost three months there and hasn't gotten better since moving back home.

Let me tell about this woman. She's very beautiful. Graduated from the university 14 years ago, has a masters degree in English Language. She's the kindest person you'll ever met. Nice to a fault. We lived in the same building with her family for almost ten years. And when we were much younger, she used to take care of us when our parents were not around. Of everyone in her family, she's the one we are closest to and love greatly.

In the early 90's, she dated some guy very seriously. We all knew him, called him uncle and thought the relationship would end in marriage...but it never did.

She's a beautiful person, I just don't have the right words to describe her to you guys, just know that she's as good as good can be.

My younger sisters went to visit her last week and told me her health was deteriorating instead of getting better, so yesterday I went to see her.

And I shed tears. She can't talk audibly. She can't move her left shoulder and arm, her eyeballs keep darting from one place to the other, never steady, her skin has turned black, she can't eat without the help of someone else, sitting up straight is painful for her.

She's 37, no husband, no kid, no boyfriend, no job (her employers sacked her after missing work for 6months), she lives at home with her parents and on top of it all, she's in so much pain, sometimes she begs to die.

When I saw her yesterday, I shed an ocean of tears, then I questioned God. Of all the people this could happen to...why her? Why such a good person who has the most beautiful heart? What happened to all her prayers of a good life? What did she do wrong? Why her?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? Why me? Why is it just misfortune that's following me? Everyone else has it good, why can't I?

Have you ever felt like you deserve much more than life is dishing out to you? You can't seem to find the good life you've prayed and worked hard for?

You know you're a good person but nothing good seems to be coming your way...

At a point in my life I felt that way. I've lived a decent life. I know it's hard to believe. I don't look it and my profession doesn't say it, but morally, I have been good and I always thought there was a reward for being good, but then I find myself in my first relationship and got what I got. I used to ask God why me? Why would you give me this? You don't think I deserve better? After living my life the way I've lived it, is this what I get?

It puzzles me, and I still want to understand the way life works. There was a girl in school back then who slept with different men every night for money...she was the queen of sluts...and had no apologies for trading her body for material things...I used to think God will punish her in his own time...

oh he punished her alright...with a nice comfortable husband and two lovely kids.

Some of us 'good' ones still live in our fathers' house... lol. Ain't that sad?

That's life right?

Good man...bad woman
Good woman...bad man
Hard pay help
Would never lift a finger to hurt a fly...someone kills you
Make one wrong decision and your life changes forever...
Make one mistake and you pay for a lifetime...
...and there are people who get away with it...all the time.
Great person, no good luck etc

Why does it happen that way? Why can't good things at least happen to good people and bad things maybe happens to bad people?

Is there a reward for being good?

Gbenga and Becky
On a lighter note, here's a Nigerian by the name Gbenga and his woman, Becky.
This one na Visa by force or by fire... not good for your health

Women Strike Back
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour.

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."

Check out this websites...

That's it for today. Check back 'moro. Ciao!


Rogers said...

Obviously,some things in life are very difficult to explain. But one is for sure, God is somewhere up there and that feeling is what should keep us going. Am touched by the story of that aunty, i guesss what we should all do (including u, if u truly love her as u profess) is to pray for her. Things can still turn around, its not too late. When there is LIFE, there is HOPE. Love ur write ups, Pls dont stop!

Anonymous said...

Linda hi. God knows everything regarding ur former neighbour. He is always in control. Good girls don't always get the best husbands ... i would be honest to ya but bad girls, most times, get the best 'cause most men are truthfully looking for a woman with "experience"; if the men are going to be honest.

And with God all things are possible. So. All is not lost. We all need to have faith. Thnx.

james kwasi said...

hello linda,concerning d sick lady. i really feel for her. pls, i want to know does she believe in God? There is nothing our God cannot do. If only she can surrenders her life totally to Christ and put all her trust in him alone, God will restore her health. you might say am sounding religious. am not a religious minded fellow. am a child of God and i know there is nothing too difficult for the God who created all the universe just in six day!

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain and we need to carry ourselves along, sorry about ignorance on the subject, what is the prognosis? is this thing curable or should i be asking, "have they diagnosed the right ailment?" is she been treated for the actual illness she's got? Lets be practical about assisting this beautiful soul, Linda, find out how we can assist and lets start a meaningful campaign to help her, i'll be the first to chip in, just holla.

Pete (

Uzo said...

Life is interesting...No formula to it. I pray that your relative gets better...

The picture...not sure if its real. It has been floating on the internet for a few years...didnt know when the guy became Nigerian oh...LOL

Flowers and Poetry said...

LOL! Gbenga and Becky "Visa by force or by fire..."!!

Anonymous said...

Dear linda,
i know how you feel concerning your former neighbour.But girl let me tell you something from first hand experience.
in less than two years i lost my father and sister.and i asked God every question you can think and dream up.
but i will give you an insight into what i went dad died, it hurt,and i was just getting used to the reality when my younger sister passed away.
Linda,i live in London,the night i was told,i CURSED God,my best friend can still testify to what i said.
i was angry,pained,pissed etc.
my main question was WHY?how the fuck could God take her?she was just twenty,extremely goodlooking,was working her way to a first class degree,sociable etc.
that night linda,I LOST ALL LITTLE FAITH I HAD IN GOD THEN.(and believe me for someone who was never a "spiri" totally killed me)my younger ones were more religious.But that incident shook each one of us.
Guess what linda,i remember i couldnt talk to my mum that night.HOW COULD I Linda?
what do you tell a woman who lost a husband and a daughter in less than two years?i mean when everyone else leaves home,flies the nest(we are all in our mid to late twenties )won't she be the one left alone?no husband?one child missing?
when i finally spoke to my mum a day after,i was humbled.
i remember i was screaming and crying and asking her "MUMMY IS GOD SLEEPING?MUMMY WHO DID WE OFFEND?MUMMY THERE IS NO GOD" ETC.

and calmly she said "........,wipe your tears,don't cry,BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY(i kid you not),let us celebrate her twenty years on earth,let us THANK GOD for everything,......praise God,thank him...etc.."

Linda,i thought my mum done lost her mind.i was like HOW CAN SHE BE SO CALM,HOW CAN SHE NOT QUESTION GOD?

everyone said the same thing,all my friends who saw her,Girl,your mum is a soldier.she was full of praise for God.

Linda,following sunday i ventured into church,i was still so angry,asking the same type of questions you have on your blog now,about how unfair life is.that some people are so good YET get such a raw deal.
i was so angry,i just started crying in church,and i walked out.
i just didnt want to know anymore.

i had to go and resolve so much in my head,because life didnt make sense anymore.
i just gave up on God because i thought,my sister who was so young,innocent,different,born again etc,WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO DIE ABI?God why didnt you take me instead etc.

i didnt go near God,just until january of this year(almost a year since my sister died).

in the year that i was angry etc,the same answer kept coming to me through different angles be it on t.v,radio,books,people etc.

God does not owe us any explanation,But HIS will,will ALWAYS be done on earth as it is IN HEAVEN,and nothing Linda happens that he does not know about.NOTHING,DEM NEVER BORN DAT THING that will pass Gods scrutiny.HE sees all,believe him,doubt his existence etc,HE still IS,HE WILL CONTINUE TO BE.And NOTHING happens without his approval.His YES makes it go forth,His NO,means its not yet time or its not just meant to be.

And when good people go through pain,or die,or are poor,etc..Linda,God sees all,he knows,and HE is not sleeping..

He just asks us to be still before Him,and we should not be afraid when evil men succeed etc.

Linda,just watch,let God let his will be is always for the best.

Dont look at bad girls getting good husbands,or bad people getting all the riches.

Pray for your friend,you continue to walk with God and do what he wants.dont be distracted by other peoples so called luck and success.on that day,you stand alone.

There is a bigger picture.


as for me,i have settled myself with God and i am so ready for whatever the world wants to throw at long as i have faith and hope in God...NFANA IBAGA...(To borrow from the extremely talented tuface)

keep on trusting.


shola pacheco said...

hi linda, i have asked dat question too several times in tears,right now am asking one but i realised it doesnt change who God is whether we are blessed or not God is still God all we need is his mercy,i pray for dat lady dat God will heal her.and as for u babes the best is yet to come!!!!!!!!!!!!

Indigenous Productions said...

If we are measuring "prosperity" by only the physical world then we are likely to get into trouble because the earth is only one aspect of the world. There is also eternity where God will judge both the bad and the good. We are to live for that eternity doing good.

Proverbs 14:32
When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down, but even in death the righteous have a refuge.

Whatever happens on earth is numbered in years. Whether you live 36 years or 98 years. But eternity does not end.
Is it not better to be living a righteous life while being unmarried and living in humble means than to live a luxurious life but be an unrighteous person.
At the end who benefits? Well, the person who gets to spend eternity with God.

Ecclesiastes 8:12
Although a wicked man commits a hundred crimes and still lives a long time, I know that it will go better with God-fearing men, who are reverent before God.

Plus our morality is a joke before God because nobody is good enough or moral enough to stand before God. Only Christ saves and when we believe in him he makes us right with God.

Babe said...

Tell me about it! I feel you and i have always wondered y some things happen to me too.

Its very painful when u see friends that live their life carelessly and yet seem to get the best of life. I have a friend that is a perfect example... i can't count the number of boyfriends she has had on my fingers and toes, not to talk of the number of abortions and wot not.

I went to the naming ceremony of her second son last week, complete with a new Range Rover and a six bedrom mansion that her husband just got her!!

And i wonder God Y?

Here i am a 27 yr old virgin, begging God and asking him where is my own and when will my own come and i see these kind of pple and i just wonder Y?

I tell u.. life sometimes is unexplainable!

I pray God grant ur friend divine health from above

madam t said...

I agree with u, good people have it tough sometimes. So i've decided to be bad(lol) ok jokes aside, i sometimes feel the same thing about good people but all i can say is God knows best
on a lighter note, the jokes were really funny. kudos

Benin Libran..Uncut said...

Very sad story about the lady with cerebral malaria. what even makes it worse is that there is no national health care service or benefit system in nigeria. It terrible...but as the saying goes 'its God that drives the flies away from a cow without a tail'

it is well with her!

Anonymous said...

they ve said it all linda,i guess u need no more preaching but let me just add,remember that blind man in the bible who had been blind since his birth, of whom the dicsiples asked if it was him that was at fault or his parentss and Jesus answered that no one erred it was just so that the glory of God might be shown through him,yorubas say,a se'yi o wu lo luwa,which means God does as he pleases,he s answerable to no bodysurrender all to him,he knows

John said...

Linda, I love reading your posts and they have all the realities that one can think of. Keep up the great work.
I loved everything that "Anonymous - 8:18 AM" said, it's so true, nothing happens on this planet without God's approval, take the story of Job in the bible, it is only with God's permission that anything can happen, and since we only know in part on this side of life, when we cross to the other side, we'll know much better why things happened.
I recall Jesus' statement about the tower that fell and killed people in His days, He said it's not becos they were less or more righteous that they were killed, so it lets me know that it not how moral/righteous one is, but it's God's mercy and love and goodness that makes us have hope and faith and gives us strength to keep doing good and be "moral". Because we beleive that there is life after now, we run to Christ and trust in him so that we can enter into the gates of heaven at the end of our time here.
Please don't be discouraged, for life is not 1 + 1 = 2, continue to trust that God is in control and that He knows more than we do, and at the end of time, we will better understand the things that took place in our lives. Continue to pray for your friend, she can get better (I have no doubt about it) God can do anything, but we have our part to play as well. Continue to share your stories and beleive me, there are so many people who have bin blessed by your posts, not just the posts themselves but the replies and comments. For me, I have truly bin inspired by some of the comments above, so keep the questions coming. Have a lovely, lovely day.
** Any Ideas on a good vacation spot in naija??

Waffarian said...

Linda, you did not say what the actual illness is. I am with Pete on this, the best is to have a proper diagnosis, and then from there, things can move forward.

As for the good girl vs bad girl syndrome, you will be surprised that somebody else is "eyeing" you too, and thinking you do not deserve the little you have. Thats just the way it is. It is all relative.

Anonymous said...

The truth is we can't keep assuming that other people have better lives than ours just because they APPEAR in that way.

Some people even wish they were you and they may have more or less than you.

We need to grow up. It just isn't true. Some of my friends who appear outside with the best husband, kids, house at al have problems behind closed doors. EVERYONE DOES!

There is no perfect life. Plus... you are not defined by your husband and even i learned that the hard way!

Love yourself.

Anonymous said...

Hi Linda, to quote from you!!!!!

Make one wrong decision and your life changes forever...
Make one mistake and you pay for a lifetime...
...and there are people who get away with it...all the time.

I would never forget those words. Thanks. I can clearly say that I understand and feel what your formal neighbour is good through

AdaOmega said...

Life is an Uncertainty rubbed into a crumbs of evolvement. As certain as things that are happening around us it is also surrounded with the aroma of deep questionables.
I am yet to find an answer on why the world is created so. Good things come to those who want it, Pray and it shall be given unto etc -- Hmmh -- yea right.
These are the beliefs of those who have not experienced the hard blows of life. All I know is I have my own life experiences and the mystery of earthly soujourn will be and remain an uncertainty until ...
Just like you Linda. the questionable will always remain unanswered in a world of bewilderment.
My life journey has dealt me with a couple of blows but I believe I have rebounded. I believe that the best way to move on this journey is to accept all that comes our way and continue to live our lives the best we can.
What I ask on my life journey is to accept all that come my way. Doing so I ask for perseverence and the strength to straddle on until the only definite end --- Death.
Your relative is still on her life journey until she reaches her destination we will never know. All I know is that she was here for a reason. Celebrate her life, the lessons she has taught you and carry her as a symbol of resonance of the lessons of her earthly journey.
Remain Blessed

Anonymous said...

Infact Linda i must confess your blog is soul inspiring, i must boldly confess i admire you. As for questions on why good people suffer and the other ones are not... i'ld say it is a mistery that is yet to be unfolded. Honestly, i believe is beyond human knowledge but our Heavenly father knows best. But one thing i know is that since heaven is our final destination, the most important thing is to make it there. But one thing i pray is that we should not suffer on earth before enjoying in Heaven.God bless

bamidele said...

I love this blog***

Damola said...

Personally, I think we elude the point that whether you are good or bad, God cannot do what he knows you can do for yourself, yes, it's important to be Good, so your faith can be strong and it can carry you well around with God, however, lets look at it from another angle. A kid writes UME and fails 4 times, then starts to blame God, well, he shouldn't blame anybody, he should only try to either work harder or get a job to fit into the schedule of doing a part time job and part time school, or better still he should scream at his parents to get money for a private instituition or Diploma. You see, bad girls will always, and I mean till the end of time, always get good guys because THEY KNOW WHAT GUYS want.. from their experience they understand the MATHS, a guy wants this and that, they know it, they go the extra mile to deliver what the big guy wants and eventually, they make it happen, but you are a good girl and quite IN EXPERIENCED, you don't even UNDERSTAND what the young man wants, how do you expect to DELIVER it to him.. About things like sickness or death, you see, nature tries, but we are bound to die one day or another, certainly, we all pray that those we care and love live long with us, but you know another Angle to things like sickness and death is as simple as: having faith, and knowing that God has control over it, like he raised the dead and people can really be free from sickness if they hope that long and believe that much.. In studies it's be shown and proven that those that are religious have a greater tendency to live a more happier and healthier life, because they carry that faith around. Please continue to have faith for your darling sister but more importantly, remember God won't do what he knows we can do for ourselves, which means if he knows there's a doctor somewhere whom he has downloaded the know how to fix the situation, then you guys need to find him and fit it in.

Life ain't easy, but we got to survive, One love my people, God is love.

Anonymous said...

Like the last person wrote, some things are indeed very difficult to explain. Life just has a way of shoving shit at good people. sometime ago i was asking myself the same question. why? but truely you never know. I have an aunt like that she's not sick of the body but definitely of the heart. At 40 we'd given up that she'll ever get married (an issue that has caused alot of rift between her and her siblings, lots of heart ache and trauma) she's never been the bad girl, quite reserved and churchy in every sense of the word. A man left her like ten years ago simply becos she didnt have a degree at that time. So she went to school, went through all the stress and got one. mid last year she announced that she was getting married and everyone was greatful to God for her only to be called less that 3 months later that her hubby slumped and died one morning. I couldn't help asking God why. Bad things keep happening to good people. I wonder.One definitely can never understand the supernatural cos surely it aint physical. At a time like this i'm sending out a word of prayer to all those going throug any form of physical or emotional trauma. May the healer of wounds make you whole. Amen.

Dimeji said...

Linda, you are right...that is the question that comes to mind when you see good people suffer.From my experience I believe there is no right or wrong decision, think about all the right decisions that you had made in life that was never successful and also remember some stupid and nasty mistakes that people made that had a happy ending. Just keep praying to God to bless whatever steps you take, either good or bad. Whether you are good or bad God blesses whom he chooses, ain't that something baffling.

segedoo said...


your observations are right. i wonder too myself. i'm glad i'm not goody two shoes.

but 1 thing is certain - GOD IS A GOOD GOD NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!!




well that is life sha, it could be filled with a lot of up and down.
we really have no choice but to just live it because if we plan life, we definitely would not enjoy living.

Nadia Ahmed said...

funny jokes, im rolling on the floor as i laugh out not ashamed.

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