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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Question + Jokes

What's the best gift God gave us humans?

Love, Sex or Friendship?

Don't nobody dare mention money...don't even think it! lol

BTW, is money from God? Dumb question huh? Answer it neverthesless. lol

Meanwhile, for those of you planning to come home this xmas and don't know your way around naija, get in touch with my sister, Vera Ikeji. She has a first class tourist/travel agency. Check out her website here http://veraikejistouristagency.com/


Jokes

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"
The father replied: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, coz I still have mine."

A young virgin marries a Greek man and before the wedding her father tells her that, being Greek, her husband may ask her to turn the other way in bed one day, but she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to.
Sure enough, after a couple of months, her husband asks her to turn over and she says "No, my father said I don't have to do this."
Her husband says "OK, that's fine by me, but I thought you wanted children."

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
A. Because if they all went, it would be hell.

Q. Why do men like smart women?
A. Opposites attract.

Q. How do men exercise on the beach?
A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Q. What's a mans idea of honesty in a relationship?
A. Telling you his real name.

Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

You should always give 100% at work... 12% Monday; 23% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 5% Friday.

I pretend to work... They pretend to pay me.

Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she heard one of the men say the following:

Emma come first
Den I come
Den two asses come together
I come once-a-more
Two asses, they come together again
I come again and pee twice
Den I come one lasta time

You foul-mouthed swine, said the lady angrily. In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.

Hey, coola down lady, said the man. Who talkin about a sexa? I'mma justa tellun my frienda how to spella, Mississippi.

I got to go. Will see y'all soon. Wienna...kisses to U!

7 comments:

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

God's greatest gifts to us are Love and Choice.
We have the capacity to love all life and the right to choose not to

John said...

Interesting question there Linda, You always have a way with your questions, but before I continue, I must say that I read your blog everyday, and I'm impressed at your sincerity and your passion for your work, please keep it up.
Hmm... let me see, The greatest gift God gave to us is Love, for love can do all things. What would one define as love, that's where the issue begins, but love is eternal, while sex and friendship are only for a period. Furthermore God is the perfect example of love and he has shown it through his sacrifice for us in the form of the person called Jesus. Everyother thing may pass except God's love for us, and if we can transfer that same love He put in our hearts to other people, we wont have half the problems in the world.
Money.....does it come from God? I would say Yes, 'cos He gives us the ability to get wealth, and we get the wealth from the earth, and the earth and all that is in it belongs to God 'cos He created everything. Is it possible to use this wealth for other things that are not "good" ... sure, nothing is "bad" in itself, it's the improper use/misuse/abuse of a thing that makes it bad. So money isn't a bad thing and it comes from God. I hope I made sense....
Keep us the good work, and I particularly liked the effort you put in to get your seond edition of you magazine out. Have a great time and do keep writing

Ms. emmotions said...

hmmmmm, i think its Love. call me partial cos i strongly believe in it.
take kare gal

Orikinla Osinachi. said...

I support the suspension or ban of BBA until the producers show more respect for womanhood.

On Nollywood flicks, you should read my post on "Nollywood Blues" on Nairaland. I have stopped bashing Nollywood, but you can enjoy some nasty details on Nollywood, petty jealousies of fellow Nigerians and other disclosures from my e-mails dairies in my forthcoming book, where Joy Tongo said I lied about the existence of your magazine.

"FM&B “Linda Ikeja” ?could not find a trace of the magazine nor the name. No one have ever heard of it. Emeka Enyiocha e.t.c."
My Joy Tongo Story.

You can read all about Nonso Ramsey Nouah, Emeka Enyiocha, Nonso Diobi, Caroline Ekanem, Mercy Johnson and others in the book.

Congrats to Vera, but that website needs the pictures and videos of the tourist attractions in Nigeria, such as the Abuja Carnival and Calabar Carnival

Cheers and God bless.

Anonymous said...

JESUS CHRIST (Salvation)

wienna said...

Eyaaa....thanks for d shout out, boo. Love u too, sis.

Everyone's mentioning love. At this day and age, dat word 'love' doesn't exist or mean anything anymore.

Anonymous said...

It is my first message here, so I would like to say hallo to all of you! It is uncommonly amusement to go your community!