I have been married for 10+ years and thought I was happily married till some weeks ago. From the fourth year into my marriage my mom advised us to take on 2 female relatives. One was 22 and the other 13 at that time. In 2010, we noticed that the older of the girls had become so close to my husband to the point that anyone could easily conclude they were intimate. She became rude to me but got closer to my husband and he never saw anything wrong with her attitude. He would take her to school (UNILAG) and pick her up regularly. He would gladly buy the exact items for her and myself whenever he traveled. Several times he gave her large sums without my consent or knowledge but thankfully it all came out through her mom. Continue...
He blurted out once that she had STD and I was quite embarrassed that he would know that about her if nothing was going on. In the end we decided she couldn't go on living in my house and my mom came to take her away her even though my husband kicked against it furiously. The younger one stayed on and that is now my greatest undoing.
She grew up quickly and she is now 20 and in her second year in University. She recently sent her Dad (who lives in Lagos) a suicide message stating that she was going to kill herself if she is allowed to continue staying with us. Her dad has now called me to say he followed up with the suicide message and she confided in him that my husband disvirgined her at 15 and had continued to sleep with her till she put up some resistance late last year. She said he is also with her roommate and claimed to have seen a message from the girl to my husband implicating him. She also said that she had caught my husband and the older girl that left in 2010 in suspicious positions before the girl was sent away.
I have confronted him with all these and he is not giving tangible reasons to disbelieve the girl. Truth is I know he did these things because of other things the girl told me that I have since confirmed one of which is that he brought a stray girl (18 yrs) into our home under the guise that she was a distant cousin's daughter. It turned out he met her randomly and merely chatted her up.
My Pastors have intervened and told me all these are true but that "he is a man and will never openly admit it now". They are asking me to let go for the sake of my children and the marriage. I am however upset that he will get off this easily and the innocent girl will not get justice. Should I cover his sins and appeal to the girl's father who has indicated that he will do as I advise or should I insist that he is made to apologize to the girl? I keep thinking what if she is my own daughter!! I am at my wits end trying to figure out if I should act as a wife or a mother! Will a good wife cover her husband's sins???
310 comments:
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You know the best thing to do ma! Covering him isn't actually the way forward now cos no matter how long you try to cover this up ..it would surely burst out on its own one day! With wisdom you can iron things out but don't cover sin..it won't allow you!prov 28:13. BishopDammy#
Pls get justice for the girl. She has Been tortured sexually, mentally, and probably physically too. Her life will never be perfect anymore because of those events. Pls keep your children away from him!
Be a mother and let him pay,reason with ur head and not ur heart,based on d luv of ur husband.
So sorry about all dis but ur husband is a perv! A dog!!!!! Wtf???? And sorry I dnt evn know wat to do if I were in ur shoes.... Goodluck! But pls nye di gi ogwu oke! Yeye man!
Disgrace the useless man. What if this happened to your daughter. I just don't get it why do victims always wait for years to speak out? Na wa o! He is a useless man who can even sleep with his daughters. Deal with him now.
Men are Just that way. I have a cousin who was sleeping with his maid and finally got her pregnant. So madam try and do the best u can to keep ur marriage and keep praying 4 ur husband. He'll sure admit someday. He's under a spell.
I know for sure that most ppl that have problems in their marriages must have come from a situation in the past....... Woman , I hope u did not offend anyone before you married him , pls check yourself . It's always the case in the end , maybe its karma . Hope you did not break anyone's heart , if you did , pls go look for him and beg for forgiveness. This has happened to several ppl that I know.
Tiri Solomon keep calm
Pls do d right thing as a mother she is ur child cause u raised her frm young she looks at u as her second mum after hers u owe her justice. She needs ur love now more than ever. Pray for ur family and husband for God to change his ways and bring back peace and unity to ur home.
Yea, yu just hv to do dat, I mean cover his sins n pray for him.... Remember wat christ said to those wanting to stone d woman who commited adultery to death? It says dat no one is perfect n without sin... Yu ar married, support him n pray for him..
Expose him come on don't do that do a fellow girl act like a mother and put d devil to shame
Think of your children! Many children in Nigeria have become fatherless/orphans because of the AIDS epidemic. Severe all sexual relations with that guy but don't divorce him, you can get separated. Apologize to those ladies on his behalf and set your mind at rest.
Why do some married men act like cheap prostitutes?
Been in a similar position. Didn't cover him up, but he turned everything against me, saying I was the one that instigated the girl to make up the stories against him. Men are dogs!
Don't forget what goes around comes around KAMAR
DO NOT COVER HIS SINS.
Your husband is a dog! Damn! When you say cover his sins I don't get it. Who's left to expose him to? He's even very unrepentant? That guy doesn't love you for sure! Some guys tho!
Sister flee, at once.
Please act like a mother and open his Yansh ur husband is a like match to boko haram dah vandalises anytin, if u play wife, he wud later migrate like mtn tariff plan to the side of ur daughter...and vandalise them also...pls act swiftly to hv him do time behnd bars cus ure saving millions doing this,,,,is nt the right man 4 u,u can marriy another who wud luv u n nt do dese things.
Being a good wife does not include covering up your spouse's sins. Always stand for what is right and never support evil. U mean if u see ur husband killing someone u will hide it Bcos u are a good wife. Dat makes u an Accomplice. If u understand my example. U will b guilty
he should be arrested for raping the innocent child
www.ameriestyle.blogspot.com
Your husband is a rapist and should be exposed. What if someone forcibly disvirgined ur own daughter at 15. As for those so called pastors. They are evil. If it happened to their daughters I wonder what they would says the hypocrisy of pastors and so called men of God is unbelievable
Hmmmmmn...ds is a big issue ooo
This man is wicked oooooo. Slping with evrygirl he sees nd even under ur roof... May God forgive him. As for U madam, U av to act as a mother first before a wife, before ur husband starts slping with ur kids. Don't cover it up, make him apologise to d pple involved, nd also don't throw ur marriage away, its for beta for worst. All da best.
Wow! I never thought I will ever say this being that i'm a man, but your husband is a DOG and needs help. I strongly agree with you. He needs to be made to admit he is wrong, apologise and then seek help.
My dear this is africa where d man never goes wrong, no matter what. I had a similar experience, my husband disvirgined my younger sister at d age of eleven,d issue came up ,but he was only asked to pay a fine by my family and everyone said I shd forgive him and stay for my kids sake. I've not been able to forgive him aftee 13 yrs, but I cheat on him to.pay back.
Your husband is a muhfucker and his sin dnt need to be cover but expose to the whole world to know what he has been doing...@blissful_jay
Please expose the he-goat. Some women won't even seek for advise. You are even a saint.
Do the right thing. Women put up with too much "for the sake of their children". He committed a crime and you should not cover up for him else don't be surprised if someone does it to your daughter
Madam u are not the 1st in this situation. Many had this experience and settled it in their room. If u r not careful your husband might change the issue and send u out. Be prepared to settle and move on.
Abegi,ur husband is not randy at all.he needs to learn 1 or 2 things from my dad.
He sleeps with anything in skirt. The maid,his kid brothers wives, family friends,anything and nobody suspects anything till the deed is done.but nobody complains because he has money to throw around.make your husband apologize to the girl.
This woman, u foolish o
Ma'am, you should act as mother and as a wife simultaneously in this case. Your husband has acted like a baby now, you have to act like a mom to correct his mistakes. As for the girls, make your husband apologize to them and if possible to their families. Forget about shame here, remember the adage which says pride goes before fall. If you and your husband consider your pride mostly in this case, downfall will follow in your marriage. What he did can attract curse on your children and equally you. Another person may do it on your children and that will devastate you. Put off pride and make apologies to the girls and their families. You are a good woman for not considering divorce it shows your large heart of forgiveness. Forgive your husband, forgive the girls and God will continually build your family through you. Remember, you are the pillar of that home now. May God richly guard your decisions. Festus. Obianwufestus@yahoo.com
The truth be say, your husband na bastard cos I got no other word to qualify him. u beta let him go cos he might do it to his own daughter "ur daughter in quote".
Yes, a good wife fears the world and wrongs God. Refer to Ananaias and Saphira in the old testament and recollect the grave consequences they both shared. Be a mother and wash the sins off that excuse of a husband. If you keep protecting him, the next target will be your daughter, I mean the daughter you both have. Because you can see he's an addict. He enters any hole, small or big, clean or dirty. Drastic situations require drastic measures. Rise and do that now before your head is buried in a messy case.
Yea you should act as a wife likewise a mother...he's also the father of your kids...you wount let them grow with a convicted father...that would indirectly affect their social life.even you too...ask your self if your husband was your son if you would turn him in.obviously you barely love him now for the broken trust....but it's marriage for better for worse...confine on your pastor dnt leave LiB it's a family issue...I sincerely condemn your husband tho.but it has happened.the young lady would live...just apologize properly to her n family.be wise
He should apologise for all he did..And pls stop allowing him to bring pple to ur houz..do wat is right............................#KingOfKings
Poster jst take him to God in prayer
Pls visit my shoe blog
www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com
This man has a problem that only needs divine solution. He used all those girls right under your nose... And one was a minor then. I think a serious family gathering should be called so he can openly apologise and let things settle... But you have to back it up with prayer.
Madam, you know the answer, stop asking us and do what is right for your home and your children. LIBERS will only compile the issue for you and you may eventually loose your home. why not look at it from another perspective, i am not saying what he did is right but he his just human.
Please don't cover it up oooo! Such a man is Capable of sleeping with his daughter, just watch it when your female children start growing up.
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THE PASTORS SHOULD BE LOCKED UP IN THE SAME JAIL AS YOUR HUSBAND....SLEEPING WITH A MINOR AND THATS THE ADVICE THEY GIVE??
DR POPE
i have just one word for u.....dat devil u call a husband wil sleep wit ur daughter.
Well, I Dont think its about covering sins. I think its about forgiveness. For the sake of ur children, u have to forgive. Divorce can never be a solution or resolution. Forgiveness is it. Go ahead, apologise to all involved. That's d great mark of Christianity and in so doing, u will b surprised at the confessions of ur husband sooner or later. Dont act in pain anger or depression but in all things remain calm and act in wisdom as guided by the spirit. I would not want to blame u here but for other women, I want u to know that no one makes decisions for u but urself . therefore mind the kind of age group u bring into ur homes. U know or husband better.
Act like a mother first! your husband actions are despicable and absurd. It is so so so wrong. absolutely ridiculous! I was a victim of sexual abuse at the age of 13, I was so displeased with life and everything else, just because of that little situation. your husband has ruined the poor girls life, she would have to live with it for the rest of her life. In legal justice system he would be in prison, as he sexually abused her, he could even be jailed for rape.
As a wife your husband is a chronic womaniser, do you want to continue living with that disrespect? he would eventually leave you.... therefore you make the move first. I am sure that is not the person you fell in love with, the person you fell in love with has left so you might as well. how dare him sleep with 2 females under your roof, at the same time and relatives for that matter. imagine what he does outside. I pray your daughter is not next. If you insist on staying speak to God about it first, ask the holy spirit to speak to you on the situation, make sure you take appropriate steps, like go for marriage counselling and church marriage services, see if that makes him a better person, if not... you need to get out. make sure he gets really close to God... take the matter to God, before you plan to continue with the relationship.
Gob bless you!!!
Madam sowie 2say bt u married a dog...u beta act fast dnt cover hm bcos he wud stil continue nd endup infectin u wil some kind of disease
Don't cover evil, let the girl get justice, he should apologize to her and her people , he should also apologize to u. If a man does not admit his fault, then he ain't remorseful and therefore isn't going to change
Iwo lomo
What do u mean will a good wife cover her husband's sins? Do u boo *kermit on this is*
Iwo lomo
Your husband has a spirit of lust which has to be dealt with otherwise it'll just happen again.
Bringing female relatives to live with a married couple is never a good idea. This African tradition (resulting from poverty) should be discouraged.
As for me, no relative will ever stay in my house longer than a week. I will happily rent a place for them if necessary, but my home is sacred. I don't want to deal with the drama of another person that is not my husband or child living in my house.
Kimmy*****
Dnt cover it oo,implicate him,did he reason abt his marraige n children bfor he embarked on dis child abuse thing,kai,dis is so so cruel,
We unfortunately see a lot of this sort of situation in Nigeria. I am not even surprised that the automatic reaction and advise from her "pastors" is to cover up this sick pervert's crimes.
I cannot even imagine the trauma the girl must have gone through. To be raped repeatedly for years by someone who should be your protector, who wont consider suicide.
He should be punished for his crimes but this is Nigeria and there is a 99% chance he will "live to rape another day"
Please madam,you need to disengage yourself from that man,and be very careful with him,any man that is sexually promiscous can be very dangerous,they can even kill just to get freedom to roam. If you decide to stay on,don't claim it is because of the children because no sane child will be happy to watch a good mum suffer any form of abuse. If the man dies you will continue your life,run away from the man,change your number and start a new life with your children.God be with you!
I know exactly how U feel. Cover is sin n make him apologize to the girl and her parents, the embarrassment should hopefully set him straight. He should pay for the girls education as payment for damages because he raped and molested the girl n she will never be the same.
Save your marriage,I advice yu handle it maturely by nt allowing third party.just apologise to d gal's family.dnt allow her come back to your house,since she is in year 2,sponsor her schooling till she graduate,by so doing,her conscience will forgives your husband,and neva raise the issue before your husband,rather let it go.....the bible made us to understnd that the husband is the pride of his wife ,just swallow it and let it go....whistle browing is dangerous,cos yu will lose your husband,family and kids...thanks for sharing wit LIBs,hope yu got this interesting.
I see more STD and monster AIDS in the near future if you don't do something soon.
Seek justices for the girl even though she came out late and might be acting out of jealousy when she found out of other girls your husband is involved with.
I wonder how you manage to sleep with all this mess in your life.
pls act fast dear,don't bury his atrocity because he will keep doing it till someone dies.
Madam pls expose ur husband cuz if u don't he will never stop. It is good that ur thinking what if it was ur own daughter, if it was do now exactly what u would do then. Marriage be damned. U really don't need to be married to ds man any longer before he gives u HIV. God himself will not be happy if you protect ds man. Your husband has raped this girl and continously abused her!!! All those incidents of sexual abuse, ur husband has contributed. He has wronged ds girl to d point that she has contemplated suicide! Help her seek justice please!
unspeakable things some husbands do will make wifes go mad. dats y its not gud 2 judge all ds divorceee. madam do as d Lord directs u
Mehn this is a difficult situation, but I sincerly think that goat of a husband should be made to apologise to not just the girl but to u and his entire family. Smh
He has to apologize to d girl openly so that he will stop it if not u will be surprise he will have kids outside. Let him apologize to d girl in front of every body ur pastor d girl father ur mother and urself
Mtchew! This is bloody rubbish. Foolish woman. Your husband is a dog. Oya name cover him. Abeg next story
Mtchew! This is bloody rubbish. Foolish woman. Your husband is a dog. Oya name cover him. Abeg next story
This story must be from nars i do not believe there can be someone as dumb as this. I am so sorry, i dont normally insult i just have too. You are a very silly, irresponsible, foolish wife and mother- except you are actually legally blind. You are very reckless, kai see how u n your nympho of a husband has spoilt rhe poor girls life for her to contemplate suicide. I cant deall. Why did you accept them in your house in the first place , no is no, you must be lazy maybe u needed them for domestic chores, you then accepted them noticed some things yet you were passive. It is a shame. You have been a terrible wife n mother theres nothing to give the girl back her innocence. People like u deserve such a man. Pls stay with him. U deserve each other and stop spreading diseases. He is even doing raw.
They are so plenty out there, Useless, men,Untrained dogs, their thing don't stay one place,so many foolish men had transfer HIV to their faithful wives.........Abeg no cover up for the Fool!
If u re ready to forgive him despite all u heard then don't expose him,make him ask for forgiveness from d girl nd his parents but u must be very careful cos dere might still be more to come. And watch ur daughters closely too,we never can tell. God help u
because of God .forgive him men at just like dat. pls take care of ur children they ar ur pride
Young parents out there should pls train their Male kids in order for stories like this to reduce,Stop focusing only on female children, most men are senseless cos they are not well brought up!
I understand all the angles you are exploring but you seem to forget one important angle. HE CHEATED ON YOU. He broke the vow he made to you before God and witnesses. I'd advice you to undergo a separation because everything is wrong with your marriage. You also have played a part in the breakdown. How can you not know your husband brought in a strange woman? Were you sleeping? He bought the same items for you and another lady and you still allowed the lady in your home? It is well with your case o. Your husband is not even sorry or repentant. In fact your matter is too complex to untangle quickly. You both need intense counselling and heavy prayers. Do not cover your husband's sin. A young girl is undergoing horrible trauma because of him. May God give you help, grant you wisdom, help you forgive and give you the strength to move on with or without your husband. Though I think it would be harder to move on with him. Shalom.
#MsBee
because of God .forgive him men at just like dat. pls take care of ur children they ar ur pride
You deserve better. Children and marriage for the sake of society isn't good enough. There's more to you than the roles you play. You can't give what you don't have. So if you are not happy, of what use are you to your children? Your cup runeth over; what's in the cup is yours, what flows out is for others.
If u'r a good wife u shld kip prayin for him.
I don't understand how a woman realizes she married a sleazebag and remains in the union. You've learned that you married a child molester who's inflicted so much harm on a young woman, she's contemplating suicide. This is criminal activity that would have him many years in prison in other parts of the world. Yet you persist in calling him husband, as if his transgressions aren't extraordinary. What if your own children are next? He's slept with every female in your household including you. What if he violates his flesh and blood if you don't dissaciate from this man? He's shown he has no self control, and anything in a skirt is fair game.
Hmmmmmm, dis is damn serious oooooo #mouthsealed#
Hnmmm! Pls pray and ask God for direction on what to do cos this is really a dicey situation. Its either u help d lady get justice by exposing ur husband wch will affect ur home cos ur hubby may never take u back or u keep quiet n pacify d girl's dad. Let God guide u on what to do.
MICKY: #fingers/toes crossed waitin for comments. Your case hard o,buh if it was the other way round what would you want him to do to you
Mennnnnnnnn what comes with marriage is not 1 o may God help me too as am about making my own lifetime decision but my dear what ever u want to do put ur kids to consideration cos this will affect them too and how they relate to there dad
If you must confront him do it where you are safe to be alone with him. Remember keeping quiet will affect you as it will build intense bitterness which is not healthy for your spirit, soul or body. keeping quiet may expose you to possible infectious diseases and there is also the issue of the girl threatening suicide.
Keeping quiet is not an option, because someone else's life may depend on what you do. (Matt 18:16-18) - is a guidance for confronting someone who wrongs you although this is your husband, you could get some pointers from it.
pls dont cover his sins, cos he wld still do dem again... men dont learn unless dey are disgraced...
U r only asking these questions bcos he hasn't given u HIV if he had ull think like sm1 with brains.
In Nigeria, it's key 2 stay married regardless of how the man treats u & they will continue.
Hope u r not under any illusion that he'll change oh & FYI when u get older he may kick u out, bring them in permanently or just leave u at this rate.
U know wat d right thing to do is
My Pastors have intervened and told me all these are true but that "he is a man and will never openly admit it now". They are asking me to let go for the sake of my children and the marriage.
One of the many reasons pastors irritate me. What does that even mean that he will never openly admit it, be there breeding pathological liars. This whole taking pastors words as law makes me laugh.
So ma'am its a criminal act, if you can plead with the girl and she accepts no wahala and if you can forgive your husband, ok. But do not ever make decisions based on what any pastor says. As for your husband SMH though. He is INSANE!!!!!!!
Make that bastard pay! And I think you should leave him before he infects you with AIDS or something! And for your pastor, I advise you to change churches, no man of the cloth would give such nonsensical advice! Your husband is an animal, a paedophile, save yourself! Make him apologize to that girl's family, truly, what if she was your daughter, you would want justice irrespective of what your husband thought!
Being a good wife doesn't mean u shud cover ur husband sins,he shud beg d girl and you shud forgive him.
It is better you say it out since you suspected and found out it was true. If the law catches up with him, you might be seen as an accomplice.
TRISHA or JERRY SPRINGER....*didi
Please divorce this sick man . For the sake of you and your children .This is the harsh reality , to be In this marriage , you condole his stupidity .in reality you are telling your kids it ok what daddy did
Men will always be Men!!! My dear I don't have much to say get him to apologize to her but careful on how to go abt it, they can turn things around. Crazy fellow called MEN. Tufikwa
Please divorce this sick man . For the sake of you and your children .This is the harsh reality , to be In this marriage , you condole his stupidity .in reality you are telling your kids it ok what daddy did
He should apologise to the girl and you for betraying your trust and breaking your bows. you know beat whether u can still be with him. I don't understand the kind of "pastors" we have nowadays. what do they mean by he is a man and won't admit it openly? mscheeeeeeew! ! arrant nonsense. does that excuse the crime? If it were a woman now they will be screaming take her back to her people! anyway, pray and get a decision from God.
Men will always be Men!!! My dear don't have much to say, let him apologize to her but be careful how u go abt it they can turn things around. Crazy fellows called MEN Tufikwa
Do not cover his act,Your husband should be in jail. He as ruined the life of a young girl.
The fact that your pastor's are asking you to stay is appalling.Your husband is a pervert.
You better divorce that man before it's too late,His next prey might be your kids.A man who can't control himself nor take responsibility for his actions is not a man.
A good wife would let that young girl get Justice
Sighs!!! Dis is a very serious one but from my little knowledge,I think if you decide to punish your husband he will for eva hate you,if u also decide to let it go lyk that,he will repeat the same thing and you can't do anything about it,so I tink you should sit him down,talk to him let him see what he did was bad and make him apologise,as well as promising such thin would neva happen again,no one is perfect but dis is very bad!!! Lauhrex
i hate reading stories like this. from the get go, u were wrong to bring in the girls into ur home for such a long period and when you started seeing signs, u should hve sent both of them packing ASAP!! as per what to do, its simple, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. what he did is a blatant slap on your face and you knew about it but kept quiet all these years. i mean, what is wrong with we women that we overlook such things and make men demigods above the law???? if it was you that even smiled at a man not to talk of sleep with him, he would have sent you pckig long time ago!!!!!. you know what to do madam, make him face the music, period!!! two young girls' lives are destroyed because of your husband and indirectly you. he has to know he is not above the law. secondly, if you dont, karma will come back on your daughters seven fold. i for one will not even stay in such a marriage. thirdly, know that if you dont make him pay for his sins, he will go nd do it again and again ot to mntion the fact that YOUwill be contributing to the african problem where men which makes a man walk scotfree while a woman is made a scape goat. GET JUSTICE FOR YOURSELF AND THE GIRLS.
Do not kill yourself for anyone. When confusion sets in lie low as it is now. That girl you appear to be concerned for is enjoying every bit of it otherwise she should have reported since at her 15 and now 20. She is probably jealous that the ebola-man of yours is having her roommate and likely others. Does she need American visa to leave your house when her father lives in Lagos as well. YOU ARE GUILTY as well for POOR SUPERVISION of your husband and especially those girls entrusted in your care. You are neither a good mother nor wife. Do not pretend, over 6 years of sexual ravaging the community of ladies around him. You are used to it. Bravo to that Pastor of yours, because he is a man heaven will fall, maybe he like him. She wants to kill herself, why not, someone else is eating her cake which she has been stealing from your table. Lie low, look after your children. BE CAREFUL.
Do not kill yourself for anyone. When confusion sets in lie low as it is now. That girl you appear to be concerned for is enjoying every bit of it otherwise she should have reported since at her 15 and now 20. She is probably jealous that the ebola-man of yours is having her roommate and likely others. Does she need American visa to leave your house when her father lives in Lagos as well. YOU ARE GUILTY as well for POOR SUPERVISION of your husband and especially those girls entrusted in your care. You are neither a good mother nor wife. Do not pretend, over 6 years of sexual ravaging the community of ladies around him. You are used to it. Bravo to that Pastor of yours, because he is a man heaven will fall, maybe he like him. She wants to kill herself, why not, someone else is eating her cake which she has been stealing from your table. Lie low, look after your children. BE CAREFUL.
That's what love demands.
»_»_• \0/ ^FORTUNEDEXC£L@REDIFFMAIL.COM^ »_»_• \0/
Men men men ,u guys has really done great damage to ur home and family
Covering up the sin makes u an accomplice
Expose him jor... Rubbish!!! Mitcheeeeewww. JUST PASSING
Do not kill yourself for anyone. When confusion sets in lie low as it is now. That girl you appear to be concerned for is enjoying every bit of it otherwise she should have reported since at her 15 and now 20. She is probably jealous that the ebola-man of yours is having her roommate and likely others. Does she need American visa to leave your house when her father lives in Lagos as well. YOU ARE GUILTY as well for POOR SUPERVISION of your husband and especially those girls entrusted in your care. You are neither a good mother nor wife. Do not pretend, over 6 years of sexual ravaging the community of ladies around him. You are used to it. Bravo to that Pastor of yours, because he is a man heaven will fall, maybe he like him. She wants to kill herself, why not, someone else is eating her cake which she has been stealing from your table. Lie low, look after your children. BE CAREFUL.
Dis is really bad, I can't even begin imagine how hurt and the pain you are feeling right now , please do the right thing,he should spend some time behind bars so that he realize his mistakes and apologize to you and the kids family , if you sweep dis matter under the carpet he won't stop infact he will sense that you are weak and can't leave him or do anything to him so the cheating will increase. teach him a lesson and forgive later,what if he had infected you with HIV will you be thinking of covering his sins? He doesn't respect you self to think he was sleeping with both sisters and buying stuffs he buys for you for the older one.hmmmmmmmm if you don't act just b prepared for more.
Madam as much as I sympathize with you,I hate to say this but you are to blame. You can't even begin to deny you were not aware of your hubby's philandering ways,yet you chose to allow two not even one,ripe female relatives into your home! Are you a learner? With all the moral decadence in the world are you not aware you should "shine your eye" and not give place to the devil? I don't even know which sin you want to expose. It's not new,it's been happening and sadly will continue to happen as long as it's permitted. Please admit your slackness,your good intentions have been rewarded with evil. Learn to protect your home and yourself. Don't invite females to stay in your home,if you must sponsor,western union still operates,send the monies to them. Sorry sha.
Wow.... you're in a very serious fix oo... how are you sure he is not sleeping with your daughters? well i'm not gonna add more to the dilemma so scratch that...
But madam... we can't advice you... go and pray seriously and follow your heart! even your children are in danger because your husband has brought lots of curses on his head and their heads too. So please... pray long and hard!!!!! and do what you know is right... follow your heart... I really feel for you but hey... it'll be well... *hugs*
You guys sure have lots of rooms and food in your house, bring girls in and out... impressive. Why dont you open a whore house - it will be profitable.
you better expose that animal and make him pay for the harm he has caused on others. I won't be surprised if he starts sleeping with his own kids. be wise and do not be blinded by marriage.
Report the serial rape case to the police and have him jailed, although the incompetent police will probably do nothing.
He is a molester and a criminal. Him disvurgining a 15year old girl under his care and doing the same to the other sister shows that he is a sick pervert. You better get justice for that girl and If you have daughters keep them away from him
Nigerian Pastora and the kind of advice they sometimes give. How can you tell the woman to cover up a crime? Is that part of what the Bible teaches us!
So called Christians in Nigeria are shameful. So now the woman should cover up sexual assault on a minor under her care. You better expose him or he'll soon start molesting your daughters
Typical Nigerian woman. This is why paedophiles continue to roam and molest innocent children. Your husband has numerous problems. How you can stay with him I will never understand children or no children he is a pig who slept with an underaged child. He clearly does not respect you. Yet you want to cover up his sins. Lol! May it not be your own daughter one day. And that young girls father is a clown who does not deserve to be called a father. He is waiting on your advise? When normal fathers would hv broken a bone or two of his. NIGERIANS disgust me for real..
U re a fool for obeying ur mum in d first by broughting dem in even if they re ur husband's cousin a u are d course of by allowing it all ask ur pastor wat to do ......some women are d course of ur their own wahala at time.u need wisdom from God
Desperate times calls for desperate measures. Act like a wife and mother by letting your husband apologize to the girl's parents, ask for your forgiveness and still remain strong in your union despite this forbidden act. He is still your husband and father of your children. Divorce can't be the best solution.
Praying that God will strengthen you during this period of trials.
This isn't a matter of apology. Your husband is a dog. He should be flogged and taken to a remand home or better still, your pastors should conduct a deliverance session for him. No wonder wives are very sceptical about harbouring female relatives. Btw, I'm sure he didn't start now. Old habits die hard. Only God can change him. You owe him your prayers.
BibyOhi---Hmmm, help him correct the situation both as a wife and a mother by doing the right thing; U don't account to humans Only God...but u have to be strong and don't only tink abt urself in dis situation and d aftermath of ur decision.momohrahilat@yahoo.com
Most men are animals (Dogs). He is suppose to be arrested, flogged and disgraced in public for having carnal knowledge with an underage child, sister and another stranger into his matrimonial home.
If a woman commits such, she will be banished from the home,children, village, whatever.
Expose your husband and if he doesn't act right, sue his ass or divorce him. God hates divorce but doesn't hate the divorcer/ee
Ola
Hian Cover what ? I am neither EDO or DELTA but I'm 100% sure you not either. Probably you are from 1 of those lousy nigerian tribes where gullibilty is still the order of the day among their men & women. - femzi Anthony's.
Act as a mother... Put yourself in d girl's mother's position and act. Your husband is a DOG!!!
Madam u better expose ur husband ,what if this happen to ur daughter .. Madam expose o,this young girl doesn't like it,she is not the other girl. Please expose
U re living,eating and sleeping wt a perv
Ds kain dog of a man!!!
Linda shaa u dey sabi work person oooo. Lol. Wich kin scenario b ds one again na?
Do the right thing. He needs to apologise to the girl.
Why hide his sins? If u do when God is ready to disgrace him it might blow up on u. Of course u know he won't go unpunished
Sorry to say but ur husband is a pervert and hiding his sins won't make him stop. You can still keep ur marriage and get justice for the poor girls. Or better still kick him out of ur life. I don't think ur daughters are even safe around him. Freak!
If you're financially stable and still young enough to get another man! Leave the marriage! if you're not..then stay!
Cover his sins? Are you okay at all. If care isnt taken he will start sleeping with his own daughter i.e your own daughter. Proverb 28:13. Furthermore Please check yourself too, what's making your husband go after other girls. God help u
The little girl can report him for rape and several other things. Your husband is a sick man. Lets hope he hasn't been sexually assaulting your children or would u wait till it happens to yours? Woman, your children deserve to have a decent man as a father.
No one is perfect but if covering his faults makes him a better person then pls cover him. if not, ask yourself what you would do if someone does all that to ur daughter or grand daughter. Would you prefer to smile while suffering and live a life of complaints? If not, let him apologise and you should cry to his creator not any man, cos He is the only one who can change him. Soon he could start doing it to ur face.
Oh, you need to change your church cos your pastors are wicked men! I wonder if they will be this lenient if it happened to their kid.
This is a very serious issue. Buh I think if apologising to the girl and her parents is all the sentence he gets, then he should just do it. A lil humility will definitely help him curtail his bad way
This woman is talking plenty, wreck him to d point of no return, u dnt kill such mrn Naaaaaaa, do to dem that which wud last a life time...
AND STILL HE DENIES IT. Chaii men oooo, all the proof against you and you deny - All you men that like to put women through shit may your own come when you marry. A woman doesn't just accuse anyhow she has solid proof before she accuses you so all that lying is just showing her she is saved from you. As for this lady please apologise to the girl and her family and leave the devil of a man THERE biko!!! Leave him abeg he has already done enough.
DEAR CHEATERS VENGANCE IS THE LORDS AND IT SHALL STRIKE YOU LIKE LIGHTENING.YOUR DEATH WILL NOT BE A HAPPY ONE
For he that covereth sin will not prosper- proverbs.
Love covers a multitude of sin- proverbs.
There comes a time in ones life when one asks questions only one can answer.
Hmmm men!! God forbid!
hmmmmmmm duno wat to say ooo over to my fellow Lib.#THAT AKWA IBOM BOY#
some wives/mod as n deir mentality...u are thinking of or sef n wat pple will say....mtcheeewwww..wat do u want us to tell u..can't u tink for self...are u 3yrs?...dis is so so so annoying..d horseband or already covering for will so dump u like hot charcoal had it been d oda way round..maybe u want him to continue after all to yor frends u're "blissfully married"..mtchewwww!kum!
some wives/mod as n deir mentality...u are thinking of or sef n wat pple will say....mtcheeewwww..wat do u want us to tell u..can't u tink for self...are u 3yrs?...dis is so so so annoying..d horseband or already covering for will so dump u like hot charcoal had it been d oda way round..maybe u want him to continue after all to yor frends u're "blissfully married"..mtchewwww!kum!
leave that man and make him pay for his sins. you better don't let him give you HIV. In Matthew 5:32 God allows you to leave a marriage if your husband is unfaithful. That man can kill you. FLEE!!!!!!!!
Continue waiting in the marriage till he gives you HIV or picks up a stray 18yr old ebola patient.
Ewo!!
Dilemma! I wish your circumstance on no one really.
D truth is dat he is still ur husband u should act like a wife n also a mother bcos dat's who u r, is either he apologize to gal in a good way or face d consequences if is ur daughter u will want to get justice so do it 4 d gal secondly u mad a mistake by not sending her away together with her sister bcos ur husband is not d type dat will c a gal n lev her alone. D mistake was 4rm u not even him u shouldn't ve brought gals to ur hus. If it has not happened to u at least u must ve had of ppl dat it happened to, am not saying u should not help. U can still take care of does gals without staying in ur hus.all dsame d mistake has already been made so don't feel bad it's well my der sister jst keep praying for ur husband bcos he still ve gals outside too n don't 4get to go 4 test b4 sleeping with him 4 ur own good don't lev ur marriage bcos of it, wat if u marry another person n is dsame will u continue to run away n levin ur kids to suffer? I know is not easy bt do wat u feel bcos only u know wat is good for you. God will give you d strength. Tiiiii
Pls go ahead and expose him ,so he doesn't do it to other kids
No, you shouldn't cover up your husbands sin. That doesn't make you a good wife. Think about the girls/victims your husband has disgraced/defiled. Do the right thing.
This is soooo messed up!!!!! What are you married to, a dog???? Put a strong surveillance on ur daughters, only a matter of tym before his libido pushes him into dt direction..... And NO, your husband shud pay for his prickery atrocities.......The sins of the father visits upon the children.... He played,he should pay!!!!!! What a tool, sheesh, we need a better legal attentive/responsive society..#cheEzyjayne
This woman is so stupid I can't believe it....
Things that men do.
no comment
BORN TO SHINE!!!!
YOUR SO CALLED HUSBAND IS A DOG AND CHILD MOLESTER PEDOPHILE..if he were in the us he would have been locked up.....you dont take advantage of helpless minors living under your roof..HE NEEDS TO BE EXPOSED, HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT U and is a narcissist. get rid of him...he is of no good
I know it is easier to say act as a wife and stand beside your husband...but it is also important for you to think as a woman and a mother....what if it was your own child? would you want someone to cover such acts up? I think you should not cover this act up because it is a very shameful act which is widely practice by most men in nigeria...
He is a bastard for defiling a 15yr old ryt under ur roof, what a disrespectful indecent scumbag...... Plus the gurls father is such a tissue paper for treating the issue with such levity, are Nigerian girl child ever taken serious???? She was raped @ 15yrs, when she is in her late twenties and she grows up to become a "Cossy orjiakor/maheeda"- y'all won't understnd where her dynsfuctional lifestle sprung from..........Am just sooo pissed with ds patriachial society dt I come from...#cheEzyjayne
My dear, nobody is saying what your husband did was right, the little girl didn't say she was raped either. My suggestion is for u to listen to your pastors.
Trust me divorce is something u don't want to go through. When two elephants are fighting in the forest,it is the grasses that suffers most. Victims of divorce cases are always the kids.
A word is enough for the wise.
Did one na serious one o, just be patient and pray for him. Don't do anything u will regret.
No a good wife will not do such nonsense. Someone's daughter has been violated and that pig you keep in your home is walking Scot free. Naija society is the pits
Madam your husband has sinned against God, the conflict within you on whether or not you should expose him is understandable because of the love and loyalty you as a wife have for your husband. However he has taken advantage of these girls he was supposed to care for and nurture and the right course of action is that he faces the consequences for the error of his ways. He should apologize to the girl and ensure that the apology is indeed accepted, the suicide threat is abated and no bad blood exists between him and the family. As For you ma, you may choose to leave your husband because of his sin of adultery , seek the face of God before you make this decision ma remember that God hates divorce and regardless of your husband's sin he is still the father of your children. Your husband should beg God for forgiveness and go into counselling, he will need you by his side even though he may not admit it. I trust that you will make the right choices and decisions on this by the grace of God
Cover what? Expose the idiot and bring his picture on Linda Ikeji Blog, so that he would know how humiliation feels like!
you knw ur husband is a dog and you still kept ur mature female relatives in the house. wrong move! men cannot be trusted. who knws how many women he has cheated on you with since you got married? be careful for stds as well cos these days husbands are quick to pass all sorts to their wives
Who am I to judge? ... Lord have Mercy...
mmmmmm dis one is strong....
Supposing u were smart and hard working i dnt tink u would succumb to your mum's advice by accommodate full grown ass gals into ur matrimonial home.
As for your husband, there's notin i can say to him cos u placed the bait.
Lastly, ill advice u send that gal out of ur matrimonial home, and u do ur tin ur self dnt be a lazy woman. Its suppose to be ur husband You, and ur kids.
Make una leave relative and house helps alone!!! They destroy marriages!!!
Ladies be wise and take responsibility of ur home!!
Thank you for opening up about it.
This kinda mess thrives on secrecy. The first and the most important thing is that the girl has to leave your house...whatever has to be done; this is the only way you can ensure an end to the gruesome cruelty and abuse she has been through for the last 5 years.
You're a mother she could as well have been your baby...report him to the authorities, make sure the girl gets justice.
If you cover him up, greater shame he bring to you and that will be on you rest of your life.
Please do the right thing.
Hmmmm. I'd be a rather be a good mum since the man is in the wrong. If it were the woman, this wouldn't be a subject of sides. U can choose to forgive him but he should take responsibility for his actions.
No
He is simply a greedy basterd who doesn't care about you or any of the girls.
Hmmmmm.What would you do? What if it was you? What if it was your sister? What if it was your daughter......Your conscience has already told you what to do.
There is no for the sake of your children here.
Our mothers nigerian women, even mothers from other cultures have long stayed and endured with our fathers fir the sake if us. I've witnessed this first hand to now have a mother in her old age wishing she had left my father over 30 years ago, for her life would have been more fulfilling now.
In your situation u need to put your health first, you need to stay alive and well for your children, with the way your husband is carrying on he could possibly give you a sexually transmitted disease if not already.
Look after your interest and your child's first, pastors will not endure with you,
Do not cover his sins, he is irresponsible
well,why dont you go for a medical check up first...Niima
This is babaric an inhumane.bt justice is for God. So my dear pray to God to lead u to the write part
oh boy!.... i feel ashamed o, d guy nor try o, even if he mush cheat, at least he shld respect u enuf not to do that under ur nose.... do the right thing, expose him but be ready for the possible fall out, it would affect ur family, ur children etc weigh ur options and choose ur battles, but strive to do right.
ff @aiwaxe
aiwaxes@gmail.com
This goes to confirm the saying that men are dogs
This goes to confirm the saying that men are dogs
U need to act as a mother. Would u even be okay living in the same house as such a man, calling him your husband? Are u not embarrassed? Do u really even need to ask for advice? U should know in your heart what u need to do. U do not need such garbage in your life, let alone around your children.
The truth is he will continue to do it over n over again and at the end you will be the one to end up with a stigma not him. So act nw... expose him and act as a mother rather a wife. he's far gone. Trust me he won't see it as an issue is u act anyways. He will do as u want n continue again. Jst be using condom n be careful of the things u share with him if u want to stay with him still, so u can be safe
Your husband loves anytin in skirt.there is nothing we can do about it.jusst be careful so he won't infect you with STD.you are in the best position to use your discretion concerning this.May God help you.
A good wife should always make sure her husbands makes amends where necessary. In this case, ur husband needs to own up, repent & ask u, d 2 girls & their parents for forgiveness. That is his own part which u have to ensure. Will all d offended parties forgive him? That is another part of it. U can forgive him if u choose to which will be wonderful but pls let him show remorse and ask for it cos he needs to come to that point in his life. He's not above d law and can't just get away from his evil escapades as he likes. He needs to learn that there are consequences to every action.
Na wah ohhhhh
######LIB MY BAD HABIT########
This guy is a dog. Get rid of him and get tested for STDs. He's not worth the stress
Speak to ur husband and let own up to his sins, let him know that u will not share in the consequence of such acts. If u cover for him, later he will move on to ur daughters or the law of karma will come into full effect.
Pls do what your conscience tells U. I personally think making him make amends to you and the young women is the best thing for your husband. He's a nasty human being and deserves to be in jail. Good luck.
P.S.: If U have daughters, ask them if he's been inappropriate. A molester does not send
Pls do what your conscience tells U. I personally think making him make amends to you and the young women is the best thing for your husband. He's a nasty human being and deserves to be in jail. Good luck.
P.S.: If U have daughters, ask them if he's been inappropriate. A molester does not send
This is a strong something oh.
You have to weigh the consequences. Above all, ask God to help you go through this and make an informed decision.
He who wears the shoes know where e dey pain am.
Stay with him, cover his sins so he can continue to abuse other young women and hopefully give you an STD or maybe Ebola.
You are painfully naive, you suspected all this and you let those girls continue to live under your roof. God will not forgive you for pretending to be ignorant. Set that girl free before she commits suicide. Women like you piss me off, pretending to be innocent while your husband ruins lives.
-ZZ
Honestly, forget about being a good wife, he def isn't a good husband and he did no care about you neither did he show any remorse when u confronted him. For the sake of yourself I think you should call him out and have him apologize, then you move on with your life. The world certainly doesn't revolve around him and am sure you would be a happier person without him.
TeeWai
Call him out on it. That's the right thing to do. And ur husband needs help btw... and a HIV test. Those girls are ur responsibility and u were supposed to be their guardian and a mother to them. If u don't fight for them, u will be hurting them and this will affect them in the future, because they will that they are not worth protecting. Btw if u were the one that messed up like this, ur husband would not cover it, just saying.
Do what u would do if it was ur own child.....
I should start by saying I am proud of you. This is no longer a one time thing. Or a "he cheated, should I forgive?" question. Your husband is a pedophile and a rapist who has no respect for you. If you feel comfortable with such, that's your prerogative. But you sound like a good person, so I say leave him. Your children should not be around such a person, what kind of lessons are they going to learn. It may be hard but you need to look long term. It is better for children to be razed by a single parent who loves herself than two parents who hate each other. Good luck and well done for speaking out.
Hmmnm...take heart ooo...pray hard!
If he is remorseful of wat he has done and promise not to do it again 4 d sake of ur kids and ur marriage 4give him and let him be taken 4 deliverance coz a demonic
Breezy_p blazing MTN
Cover nothing.. Let him face d shame bcos he will continue if nothing is done..
Check this...
... Husband Caught Wife with his Best friend in the same Hotel he took his girlfriend In Lagos ....Click to Read
None of my biz....but I love linda...will love 2 work for her
Why are women so daft? So u need people to advice u on what to do with that he goat u call husband? @Moi Moi
my marriage me n my husband alone. no relative no friend. i no wan make linda put me for her blog say i stab person for sharing my man. thank God i hv just brothers.
no!!!!!!!!!!! that will be against you on the last day!! Don't cover up sin as it will multiply
A GOOD WIFE AND MOTHER WILL DO WHAT IS TRUE AND RIGHT B4 GOD. MAKE HIM APOLOGISE TO THAT GIRL BC HE HAS DONE A LOT OF PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE TO AN INNOCENT GIRL. IF YOU COVER THAT HUGE SIN OF YOUR HUSBAND, IT WILL COME ROUND AND DESTROY YOU AND THE MARRIAGE. GOD BLESS....
Your choice
some men r demons in disguise
My dear leave it to God.
i would advise you make him face consequences that is rape and sorry to say if you have daughters better educate them , no one is allowed to touch their privates even daddy.
sorry you have to go through this
This must be a very difficult situation for you, and I praise you for being strong enough to say this. You should make him apologize to the girl. I am 20 years old too,and I wouldn't want to experience that. He is a pedophile who deserves to be punished. Like you said, you have kids too. You wouldn't want your kids to think there's nothing wrong with what he did. I know Nigeria law enforcement is not as good as the U.S. I would have suggested you get them involved. You're a strong woman, he cheated on you in your own home, it's time to get justice for yourself and that little girl. Ask yourself, will God want you to condone this? Good luck!
hmmmmmm..this is really hurtful i must say,i can't imagine ur pain.but my thought on this if u get to read this is dat allow him to pay for his wrong doing,if u let him get off this easily he will one day do some worst to u and u may neva be happy in ur life again.aside for the gals he has wrong,wat abt u?won't u let him know hw badly u were hurt?or u wan to cover face and let him rape some1 1st b4 u do sumtin?u hav already said it,wat if those gals were ur own kids?whod u not wan justice for them?ur husband is an animal and i think it's vry dangerous to live with such man.
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