My boyfriend and I have been dating for seven years, since we were in the university. We are both 27 and although I am ready to settle down he says it's not something he is considering at the moment. But he promised he would marry me when he was ready and offered me a promise ring just last month. I refused to accept it as I see a promise ring as kindergarten. I would have preferred an engagement ring but he says he's not ready to be engaged either. Should I accept the ring and wait till he's ready to get married? What's even the symbol of a promise ring?
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Friday, 11 July 2014
Dear LIB readers: Should I accept my boyfriend's promise ring?
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138 comments:
It's a promise of marriage ring,bt babe 7yrs n hez nt yt ready? Ogunaomi@gmail.com
Dont accept oo.. Now when u are 30 he would send to LIB'ers, please help me,i have been dating this girl i dont know how to break up with her cox am in love with someone else!! If he is ready toh,if he is nt dnt force him when u find someone just go!
Olodo. Wait for me. I'm coming to marry You. Wait till you get wrinkled.
Nne, u are on ur own o. Pls sit him down and ask him when he would be ready. If it not anytime soon, then take a decision to either wait for him or leave. Guys can't be trusted. Ehn, which one be promise ring again?
Lolz babe you're on a long thing,he'll end up with someone else plz move on besides not considering it at the moment means you'll have to wait for a long time to come,now add it to your age and tell yourself the truth,btw wat r u doin with your age mate?
He's nt ready, he's nt ready, whn its time for marriage he wil stil tell uo he's nt ready to marry uo. Gal use ur head. Pretex4luv@yahoo.com
My dear accept the ring! My hubby that was how he gave me promise ring 4 8yrs, b4 we got married last year
@27, it shuld be marriage. N nt promise or engmnt ring. Pretex4luv@yahoo.com
Bt honestly I ve heard of promise ring in relationship n I dnt know its symbol bt friendship ring I know. Someone help pls. Pretex4luv@yahoo.com
I guess he's not ready yet,is he financially ok,if not he's not ready.I will advice u two should sit down and discuss this issue,if he really want to married you,he should pay ur pride price.
Is left for you to know if u are ready to wait for him or not,accepting the ring means u will wait for him, even if takes Forever,if u love him that's nothing but...
hmmm. At 27, Dont accept it. Both of you should work and get more wisdom while he is ready to get engaged to u. Don't let him kidnap you with promise ring o.
CoolDiva speaks!
Sweety u knw berra. . Nd hope you knw ur nt getting any younger. . Is he financially stable. . If yes den wats d reason y he doesn't want to settle down. . Since uv dated for lng u guys av already been connitted to each oda. Bt u knw 27 is really young for a guy to marry esp in naija
If he's not ready to engage, my dear, he's not serious about you.
Engagement can take years if need be; commitment....depending on the readiness of both parties.
*My R1.50c comment*
Pls don't accept it,
Be neutral about it..
I would advise you be open to others.
Promise ring? Its even annoying to me.
oh yeah accept it den u can throw it on d floor n smash it with ur legs of course in front of him n den walk out.he z a bloody FOOL!n truthfully most guys are.
My dear wise up oooo! U ar not getting any younger, dnt let a kiss fool u n dnt let a fool kiss u as d same tym.
Promise ring keh,my sister u better sit him down,and ask him questions ohh,after 7 straight yrs,he is giving u a promise ring,is der anything like a promise ring if I may ask,if he is not ready,due to finance fine,but promise ring? It's a no no,tell him u will wait for d engagement ring,dat if his reasons are cogent
#Em jay#
since your heart says no!! follow it....
giftadene
Isn't that something he should've given you when you were 20 or there about? 7 years later and he' s offering a promise ring and clearly stating he' s not ready to settle or even get engaged...my dear if you're a smart girl, you' ll know exactly what to do...my advice is Don't take it and tie yourself down for this guy, because when he' s eventually ready to settle down you might not be his Choice...But even if you decide to collect it, still be open to other guys, go out on dates and stuff#Just be wise girlfriend
Wait... your suru must lere.
Wait till his ready,that is,if you can wait....don't get yourself tied up with stuffs like that...
Don't! If it's not an engagement ring then it's not worth placing around your finger and putting you out of the "market", so to speak. He should commit to you or let you go! Promise ring! Hmmmph!!! That's kindergarten drama not for grown adults of 27yrs of age!!!
It takes d grace of God for a man to stick to his promise. I think u shud pray about it first n let ur pastor know about it for better advice.
@kginvestmentltd@gmail.com...Ah promise ring has no symbol cuz we r just human and one person dat can promise us one thing and fulfill it is GOD. even with an engagement ring doesn't make him your future man or husband... so my dear be prayerful cuz what is meant to be will surely be.
Babe,I ll advice u 2 move on. Obviously d bobo is not yet fit nd ready. He still needs 2 package himself up.
PLS DONT ACCEPT IT COS BELIEVE ME HE WILL NEVA MARRY U WEN HE IS FINALLY READY. CUM TO THINK OF IT IS DER ANYTN LIKE PROMISE RING? SMH
WHAT IS PROMISE RING?
PLEASE DONT ACCEPT DAT RUBBISH SINCE HE'S NOT READY
Am still commentn. The worst part of life is waiting. The best part of life is having someone worth waiting for. Pretex4luv@yahoo.com
Gal u r on ur own ooo! Ring kee?
Promise dat wat will happen? R u a learner? After 7yrs he's givin u a promise ring. like TF?u av to think abt it,does he av d money to marry u ryt now?if he has then my dear take dat promise ring n shove it down his "u knw where",n go wait for d man dat wd mk an honourable woman how of u.
But 7 yrs? Hmm
I'm nt going to say much on this cos its pretty obvious, if after seven yrs ur man still has d Mentality of a "Promise Ring" i'll sau ditch him nd get a man that is ready to put a wedding ring on ur finger, DaFuQ is "Promise Ring"? Sounds so lame nd childish. Say no to every Promiser abegi.
Promise ring is just a tongue promise, you are the only seen him all. So, follow ur heart. ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥♡thanks ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥
Na wa oooo. ..una no go kill oooooo. ..which one b promise ring again????
Oh gud u ve answered d question urself, my dear don't wait ooo cuz he has told u he is not ready hmmmm u go just hear say he has given another woman belle lol
E be like say, ur guy don get plan B oo! You better watch your back.
Please is there any such thing as a promise ring? If the guy truly loves you and isnt ready for marriage and you are willing to wait he should engage you properly, but make him no turn you to lord of the rings oo.
Promise ring ko, promise pant ni.
Girlfriend, listen to yourself, 7yrs and the dude wont even engage you? Ù gatta be kidding me, pack your bags fast or you'll soon be 35, unmarried and unloved! Msteeeew
I hope u are not a learner girl? so how long are u willing to wait for him and when will he be ready? oh girl u beta move on, life is too short to waste it on som1 hu does not value u. u'v wasted enof already.
Don't accept... nkemdirimeverista111@gmail.com
Leave this man he's just using you. When he's ready to marry he will find himself a woman
Rushel
My dear i know exactly how you feel as i am in a similar situation myself,we are both 25 and I'm insanely in love with him,we've been together for five years and still counting,but in my case,he told me not to wait for him as he doesn't want me to feel cheated or like i waited in vain if things don't work out as planned.I've tried to date other people but the truth is that I don't like those i meet,with my situation,I'm tempted to believe that it's possible to have a soulmate and to love one person forever. I'll just wait for the advices to come in cuz i really need them
Ehen?? Promise ring abi?? Are you a Learner.You better begin to dust your slippers and run away for your dear life.Promise ring kor, Disappointment ring ni.
The symbol of a promise ring is symbolic. Lol.
Promise ring can take you to promise land
He doesn't want to engage u but u want to marry him. Pls listen to urself. BTW promise ring is a symbol of OYO (On Your Own).
My dear, If you know what is good for you go and büy Nike shoe.... You know what that means RUN.
Hehe, see dis chik Oº°˚˚,dis is ur tym to settel dwn as a young lady, hw long u wan wait for dat promise ring dat may or may nt b kept, abeg no do cha+cha wit ur life, go make u start shit ur children on tym on, may by d tym u pikin grow em go don ready
Promise Ring??? A NO NO Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase!!!
Woman nobody knows your BF more than you do so if you wanna mary him go ahead don't seek solution where you can never get it. Jopeyemi@gmail.com
It is either you are married,single or engaged(which is more of a promise in it self).So this promise ring of a thing me i no see any sense for inside ooo!coz when you are in LOVE, there are so much promises that comes with it naturally so use your head and most importantly....follow your HEART
Hehehehehe........Do what your heart is telling u to do...which I am sure is saying RUNNNN. If not u wouldn't be asking the question.
Seven years and he isn't ready to settle down? A promise ring isn't going to cut it. That's what we did in secondry school..You need to ask yourself some hard hitting questions like are you willing to wait till he is ready and will you be okay if after waiting nothing comes out of it? se girls sef!
For him giving u a promise ring is lyk putting u in a cage.
Wen is he going 2 b ready?
I will say u shld stop decieving urselves
Promise ring is nothing, u can wait and if u can't go on with ur life dear.
Which one be 'promise ring' again biko?abeg i no won laugh oh! Ok, this is absolutely your decision to make. In my opinion, you don't need to keep a 'promise ring' to have him keep his promise. If you both love your selves and would like to spend the rest of your lives together,then,wait for him until he gets ready. Otherwise, move on. The fact that you seeking public opinion suggest the whole thing doesn't go down well with you...just do what is best for you!
Dnt accept cos hz not ready..
Pls visit my shoe blog
www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com
hell No..please don't
Promise ring? At d age of 27? What manner of fuckery??!!. What were u lookin at till u both turned 27 sef? Pls collect d ring if u want 2 become an experienced ring holder. Bullshit. Let me tell u what I think, if the guy has a job and all that, and there's no reason 4 him nt 2 marry nw, leave him. He's subtly telling u he won't marry you. He doesn't even want 2 be engaged? Babe, just count ur losses and leave him, cry 4 a few days and get ur single girl groove back. A promise ring means nthng. Even engagement rings are worth nothing these days.
Hmmmmm!!! Have never heard of promise ring bfo in my whole life, babe dun hav much 2 say, buh if u realy love dis guy nd u knw in ur heart dat hes 4 real den u accept. Just put it in prayers
Hmmmmm!!! Have never heard of promise ring bfo in my whole life, babe dun hav much 2 say, buh if u realy love dis guy nd u knw in ur heart dat hes 4 real den u accept. Just put it in prayers
Please do not accept bcos Mr right may come after you have accepted the ring and he may later dump you for Miss right. So think twice .
Hmmmmm!!! Have never heard of promise ring bfo in my whole life, babe dun hav much 2 say, buh if u realy love dis guy nd u knw in ur heart dat hes 4 real den u accept. Just put it in prayers
D symbol of a promise ring is he has promised to marry u
Don't accept d ring.
Are you Lord of the Rings? Or is ur finger a key holder?
Promise ring is bullshit, i don't believe in that. If he's not ready for marriage pls don't accept the ring.
My dear na for ya mouth sef I first hear promise ring o. That na one of the side effects of dating one's age mate. No advice. OYO ni!
I will advice against it, based on experience. Though, it's different strokes 4 different folks.
You can accept it, that is if you are willing to wait. I dont see anything wrong with the promise ring. it's just to re-assure you that he will always have you in my.
Mind you, his not been ready now may not even last for 2years.
Just follow your instinct
my sis no jonz wif ur life
If you accept, your mumu no get part 2.
I really want to know what a promise ring look like? On what finger can you wear it on? To your question, how do you explain to people what that means? My friend, he feels you are too old for him especially in this part of the world where age is considered before marriage. To be honest, just move on with your life.
those who know wat promise engagement ring s shud better start xplaining oooo
Promising Ring? â„“oâ„“z Collect It Na, By †Ñ’ƹ Time ƴǒǘ Spend Another 6yrs With Him, ƴǒǘ Shall ßƹ Referred To As "†Ñ’ƹ Lady Ring Leader". Λπϑ By †Ñ’ƹ Time You Are 38yrs Still You Guys Are Not Married, Then Your Name Turns To "lord Of †Ñ’ƹ Ring". â„“oâ„“z
my dear,pls dont accept the ring,els tthat is the end of it,some ring are disapointment
*in Omawunmi's voice* if u ask me, na who I go ask?
Letz dat R/ship b defined, it' a NO frm me
just keep him as a side boyfriend as u move ahead with ur life
I think is not ready n it total rubish...#tslicky
Linds biko post comment ooo
Dear run for your life.lord of the rings on his mine.7years for promise ring,14 years thou shall wait for engagement ring,cant guess when marriage will be.sister na only u waka come?
Run far away from him he's not serious don't waste your time on time wasters he will meet another girl next month and marry her within a month please you should break up with him and let God send you your own husband
... Simply use your common sense
My dear don't wait for him o. if you find someone else who is ready, just ascept him. And remember you are not geting younger.
Please move on, at 27 he is too young for marriage.
No,
dont accept any thing oooooooo
7yrs + Promise ring???? Omg @ 27? D guy is ur age mate??? Dis is serious. And he says he is not ready now....witout telling u wen in future. U and I knw,u dnt wnt to wait. I knw u hv a head on ur neck. Use it.
c dis mumu. where u born yday?
Biko which 1 be promise ring..lolzzzz men can be vry funny, nne biko accept any guy dt is ready n if u like him. That name promise ring dey vex me sef!!!
Lwkmd!! @ bianca of life i just dey one corner dey hail u....
Abi o? Lmao
7 years??????!!!!! babe the guy nah winch, lol. Don't accept.
If he's even failing to "engage you" common engagement where your whole family know's you're his and he is yours i.e intentions of marriage - then you are truly on a long thing honey. You are 27 and he is 27 3 years away from 30 my dear and by 30 you know how African people marry most eligable bachelors are usually taken or looking for younger people - please do it for yourself while you are still young start looking secretly (trust no1) - time wasters are wicked
Nne it worked for U doesn't mean it will. Work for anoda......
my dear sister...your guy prolly thinks he is too young for marriage at 27.this kind of fella, might still think he is too young even at 35..you are already 27, and it already counts against you.please brace yourself up and start all over..its better to do it now than in 10yrs time.goodluck
most guyz dnt stick 2 dia promise,xo plz dnt rely tew much n im coz he might end up sayin'oh babe itz nt wah u fink,itz nt my fault...am xowie we cn continue wif d relatnshp'nd i fink by den u wuld av goten 2 ur late 50's#gwealth
@Anon 01:31......Let me say dis. I guy who sees d future with a lady he is dating, wld neva make such unguided statements as #DONT WAIT 4 ME SO DAT U DONT FEEL CHEATED & LOOK LYKE U WAITED IN VAIN. No matter how young or unready he is 4 marriage, Such statements shld not come 2 play. Rather wat he shld do is reassure u dat he sees d future with u.
If he isn't doing dat, my dear flee. UR LOVE ALONE MIGHT NOT JUST BE ENOUGH.
Dat statement can make ones heart explode..
Seems 2me U are more into him dan he is with u. In all. BE WISE
What do you want? He gives you a promise ring and you say you want more, what more do you want than a promise ring? It is binding. Accept it.
Wait a min, did u jst say u are 27yrs nd u ain't married yet. Den who r u waiting for if I may ask? Dat promising ring is only gonna hold u down till u r 38yrs. I promise u. Pls move on nd get s better person. Ur time is really running. F**k promise ring.
U sabi wait for africa
@27, for 7 years, I guess you are his kind of dream wife. Still thinking.........
The guy is obviously not ready for marriage and so babe just move on.
I swear u are a clown, lol! Linda wetin I do u naa, plss post my comment before I tell ur fans whom u are dating! Lol
My dear, PLEASE run for your dear life because 2moro he will find himself a younger lady and the next thing you will see is quarrel every minute until he finally speak up. Mine was for 9yrs and he kept on promising, but thank God I am married now just after one yr he left me for anoda woman. I never believed it but I had to take my faith and today God has done it.Please my candid advice is that you shuld even run from his shadow.
Every agent of delay, holy ghost fire. Dont even accept an engagement ring, if he cant afford a wedding ring.
My dear, you are on your own. Marriage is not something bloggers will decide for you. it's between you and your God. Have you ask God and He say's the guy is the right person? If so then wait, If otherwise then try and retrace your leg
flexycouture@yahoo.com
You r rily a vry big FOOL,u dey find 25k WHN no go EVR reach ur hand,stay dere o no go find work do
My Dear, please do whatever your heart tells U 2 do,Only U understands the situation better, and you cannot deceive yourself I suppose, even if others are trying to deceive you, Ur situation is a lil bit similar to mine, just that urs is beta, @ least, he gave u a "promise ring", mine did not even do such, just kept on promising, thou I undastood his actions perfectly, he was not financially stable then, and now that he is, he is coming 2 c ma parents officially next week, and from there, we will then star the whole preparation of settling down together afta 8 yrs of dating.#thevirtuecalledpatience#
So, my Dear, if your man is really serious, he will come back, maybe he needs to put some things 2geda before settling down, but if he is "okay enough", and he is till cumin wit a promise ring, babe one word RUNNNNNNN..#myopinion......secylken@yahoo.com
Are you kidding me ?
Oh,you are still here asking for opinio nne ? I wish I 'm close to you,I could empty a bucket of blocked dead chilled water on your head.
First of all that ring is a sign post to other serious men to back off,Wait for me is meant for boys and cowards.
pls let him keep his ring,and you also keep your fingers empty in case.if you are both meant to be together,you will eventually do so even if you are both married to different people.
Yu don't need a promise ring..anything can hapun..its been 7yrs years nd he's not ready..be faithful buh forget the ring. @ oyindamolaharvey@yahoo.com
ogbeni i don't think he'll ever be ready
And u think urs is a success story bcos? @Poster,Collect it If u are ready to wait 4 8 yrs like Chidinma d role model,btw,u already know u guys are not on d same page so y Fool urselF?
My sister u are 27 go marry b4 u go dry fine pastor way go pray for u
What is promise ring? Refuse to give u an engagement ring, even engagement is not enough
Gfrnd, shine ur eyes wella o....He is not ready for any commitment! Hmmmm.....
Please nobody should be bringing God's name and seeking pastor help into this matter. Hian... God wld not cme down n tell dis guy to marry you..promise ring ko promise ring ni...at 27...better carry your legs and run...I can even understand if he said he was not ready for marriage...common engagement too he is not ready...hian!!! better run o...cos u wld be dre wearing promise ring and u wld hear ur so called bfrnd has gotten another girl pregnant and dey r married....run away abeg go and find a better man in front
Gfrnd, d final decision is in ur hand; use ur head not ur heart/feeling @ age 27 wat do u need! Cos obviously, dis ur guy is not ready for any commitment wif u! Hmmmm.....
#G.Babe
Is their anytin like promise ring? Abeg move on wit ur life. After 7yrs yet he is nt ready, are u a learner? Run for ur life wen ur still young, by God's grace u will meet ur own man ok.
Dat guy is a boko haram which 1 is promise ring again
wisdom-zero..patoswife@gmail.com
Que sera sera,wt wil b wil b,while u wait 4 him get serious wt sm1 else n marry whomeva proposes 1st,7yrs is 2 much 4 promise ring
My advice goes 2 all ladies especially d young one plz and plz and plz don't date ur agemate dats one of d problem our poster is having
1.Dey re both d same age 27 which is prime age 4 a lady and to d guy his still "young".
2.Dey were coursemates left skul same tym not everybody gets brktru career immediately afta sku.
3.Pressure
4. Fear
5.Now a promise ring 2 show he luvs and desires 2 marry u buh not just readYYy . I can write a whole bk on dis issue sum oda daY.
He's not considering marriage yet...he doesn't want to be engaged either. Babes, u are a fool o. u don enter one chance o. Read d handwriting on d wall. Run! U are no longer a baby. On another note, hang in there but don't reject any offer made by any man who is ready. Some men are smart ass my dear. Pls wise up!
@nancy drew,u av really said it all,same is happening to me also,I av bn datin my bf for 7yrs too nd we re both 27yrs of age,we read d same course bt diff schs,we finished d same time nd we re age mates,he has nt even talked abt marriage wit me,he kips tellin me to giv him more time to gather himself up nd make money.I knw he adores me nd dt is wat is still kipin us togeda, I ve decided to b wit him for life cuz I knw tins will get beta,bt I av also made up my mind dt none of my daughter(s) will ever date her age mate or course mate
Dats guy is an idiot.....u dated him for seven yrs nd yhu will stil have to wait for yrs to come b4 he propose....He is giving yhu dat promise ring to hook yhu down....yhu are 27 pls,yhu ve a lyf ahead of yhu so pls move on cos if u decide to wait he stil may nt propose to yhu nd all dat tym wasted was for nuting.
Pls tel her ohhh
Ur guy doesn't seem serious at all but lot of pple advice u leave but na so e easy to find man but anyway if u see someone dat seem serious abeg go for him.
Nne, forget it!!! That guy has doubt about marrying you. Be wise and do something now. Don't be so stupid!!!
get ur robes ma'am
the man is a wizard. run for your life.
hmmm all dis useless guys, next tin u would hear about his wedding one weekend. don't collect it oo. promise ring ko not even engagement ring even if u stay engaged for 2yrs at least dats sometin promise ring who does dat. Plssss save yourself. Personally i think he just wants to use the p ring to hold u incase he doesn't have anoda choice. no gree ooooo. God bless you
my dear, dnt let him tie u dwn wit any promising ring o, wn hiz ready for commitment, e wil go luking for smal girls to marry. make hail y d sun is stil shinning o
my dear, I dated a man for 7 years and the fool told me he wasn't ready. He didn't offer me any ring and I held on based on investments and commitments I had made to him. In the end, i left him and thats the best decision I made. Leave that nigga and keep your options open. xo
u are rite@ timothy i tink that what she should do bg she wil end all her life with him n he later marry another person and leave her heart broken
Babe for 7yrs?? And he's not ready??? Or u want him to tie u down with a engagement ring when he's not ready??? Hmmm girl, be wise ooo!
I feel u shld accept it. He cld b testing u.
How many times have you guys had sex?
My dear, I don't know if u wud see this but probably other readers would be able to gAin from this write up. I'd just go straight to the point and say this, there is Nothing God is not bigger than. Please go down on your knees and cry to God almighty to save u from this situation you find yourself. Ur prayer should be Lord is this man for me or not, if he's not pls help me to let him go with ease and direct me to the one you've kept 4 me. Share this prayer point with ur pastor and mum to also help u and pray, blive me in d nxt 1month latest. U wud get a result. For the fact that ur even doubtful abt d "promise ring" shows ur spirit don't agree with it if not u won't be disturbed to start sharing it as a problem. I am even lil bit much ounger than u and God punish that man that would come n even near me wit a promise ring, if I no knack akpako 4 ur head eh! In any case I wudnt even date sm1 4 7yrs dts a waste of my gud fresh young years, if in 2yrs u don't still have a motive, I'm sori Bro I'm gone. Inshort ur motive is to be stated from the beginning of d rltnship b4 I even enter so I know wt ride I'm on for. But too lil too late, ur js 27 aint late. He prob tinks he's got u already so he doesn't have d fear of loosing u so maybe u shud instigate that fear in him by prob givin him less time n kip test d waters and see wt he'll do nxt but bliv me he aint redy to marry js yet prob wen he's 29-30yrs old #JustSaying. Pls no one shud date der age mate o, no mata how e shack u. If its in university, eh let it end there too.
And Linda Ma where do u get all these funny pictures from...hahaha...
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