Dear men, do you stay with a woman ONLY because she's good in bed? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Wednesday 20 February 2013

Dear men, do you stay with a woman ONLY because she's good in bed?

It's not me that asked o...it's from a LIB reader :-)
Do some of you men really stay with a woman ONLY because she's good in bed? Not because you love her, or because she stimulates your mind, but because she gives good head? Are there men out there that shallow?
My colleague broke up with his girlfriend and when I asked him what happened, he told me sex with her was a bore, that he wanted to try something new. 
When my boyfriend and I broke up, the first question my brother asked me was 'weren't you giving him good head?'
Then just recently, a friend of mine told me that the only reason he's dating his girlfriend is because she gives him the best sex ever! Are these three fools the last of their kind or are there more men like them?
Lol. Oh trust me, there are! :-)

261 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Go ll butter ur bread welluwell 4 dis ur reply. U make sense bajebaje. Yepa I jus realise na prince charmin sha,lol he b lik say u got enuf Vit D today 4 u to bring out dis correct talk. Hmmm God is eva wonderful

Tolu J said...

D best comment so far

Chichi Taichi Okere said...

@Queen Chioma,had to check out ur pic after reading ur comment,i'll definitely give u good sex(hot one)...u like it hot too don't u beautiful?

Anonymous said...

OMG!!!! Why are you so angry?

Anonymous said...

Sex plays de mst vital role in any relationship Linda, de process werby 1 is lackin de sexual ability 2 satisfy he/her patner, der is bond 2 b disharmony btw de both parties.

Anonymous said...

Sex plays de mst vital role in any relationship Linda, de process werby 1 is lackin de sexual ability 2 satisfy he/her patner, der is bond 2 b disharmony btw de both parties.

Kashrulez said...

Nothin 2 say ooo...good sex or not...all depends on d guy's anatomy n mind(no guy will av d chance 2 av mindblowin sex n turn it down) #justsaying tho.....'Last of their kind'...rotflmao

emarketstrategy said...

The writer and a wagon of female commentators have considerably expressed that a mans sexual satisfaction is really not their business, but you want him to love you! HOW? You better get married to a german not a Nigerian man!

You all should now see why many men keep mistresses, some women even go as foolish and as far as denying their man of sex least to talk of a quality one that wasn't even there in the 1st place...

It's only a CAC pastor who married as a virgin that'll accept all these fallacy ideology you're all posting and agreeing to. For me, Mba!

Kashrulez said...

Lol...Nourisher...Awka abi? U go dy patronise Mama Amara...lolzz

Anonymous said...

Ladies pls do not overlook sex....it is very important to men....as a believer...yet I think about sex more than 10 times a day....no matter how busy that I am.....
I have always prayed that God will bless me with a Nigerian woman that loves sex and give me head....but believers rarely want to talk about sex and this is where men go astray...for me it does not really matter....my understanding is a woman that is good in bed is the one that gives me head....
If I keep receiving head from a woman why won't I marry her....
Sex creates a kind of bond between couples that nothing else creates

Anonymous said...

Shut up for once. Must u comment?

Anonymous said...

Good sex is a necessary but not sufficient part of a happy relationship. U better recognise!

Anonymous said...

hot versus cold food you choose

Chimli Umeh said...

U r so ON POINT!! I second u on this.

Anonymous said...

Ole girl, you berra go and learn the acrobats your bf likes, otherwise.... Shaneeka will helep you and collect him.

Of course sex is one of the most common determining factors for any relationship. Same way we women do not want okobo men, who wants a woman that cant stimulate his senses and satisfy him?

Bayelsa Pickin said...

You people should be very careful how you give men blow jobs and sex ooo.Because na that kine sweet blowjob dey make man carry gun go kill you ever stop.See wetin happen for Lagos wey kidnapper go kill hin gf because the girl no gree give am blows job again.
Make una dey careful ooo.Good sex dey Kill oo.Na hin dey make woman pour acid for another woman face...wey also dey make man crase weh e be say hin babe no wan do again.

Anonymous said...

white woman marry a man who are stronger on bed,,,so do men do,,do a black woman like to marry a man with a small jack,penis?

Anonymous said...

He is getting good sex outside my dear

Anonymous said...

Hi Linda...errmm dis stuff is always 'an LIB' reader. I knw i'm not liable to correct you dear. Just thought d right indefinite article makes it sound better. I'd apprec8 if u don't post dis ma. Tnx.

Unknown said...

Well said bro!

Anonymous said...

No, we don't stay just cos she's only good in bed. We stay when she's got other qualities to support her good sex. She must be a friend, one we can freely interact with notwithstanding our age/career differences. She must be a gud cook. She must be one who can motivate us, and spur us to greatness. She must have qualities of a gud mother. If she's got these, we stick cos we'll get less wen we step out. Young ladies, if u've got good qualities and lack gud skills in bed, u have one chance;learn fast how to be gud in bed. We men love a virtuous woman during the day and a wolf under the blankets @ nyt. For those of u thinking sex becomes boring as the marriage gets on, stop believing a lie.we take out time to learn new skills so remain on top of our game and to add flavor to the marriage. The marriage then becomes as sweet as OLD WINE. If you doubt me ask Charly Boy and wife. Btw,sorry for the long sermon

Unknown said...

You spoke my mind !and to cap it all nobody brought sex skills into this world it's experience that made it so!staying with your partner as a lot more to do with the plans and vision you have for that relationship not only sex!if I may ask re there classes of sex(good,bad,ugly)don't think so.communicate with your spouse on hw u want it and teach yourselves the best method to achieve it

Anonymous said...

hmn, i am a woman, its important you satisfy your man on bed, though its not the 100% of it. good sex and others makes a good marriage.

Anonymous said...

any guy dat wants bedmatic pleasure should find naija babes in italty,dem gurls can drive a man crazy.They can suck a cock for 2HRS AND I MEAN deepthroat. Very powerful ladies..

Anonymous said...

From reading the majority of comments here I've discovered that people with virtue are few. May God grant us wisdom lest we perish cos of lack of knowledge! -Ben will

Ijeoma O. said...

Wow!!! I'm shocked ur brother could ask u that irrelevant question. Is he suggesting good sex should be the only reason a man should be with u? It only proves that's d same reason he is with his girlfriend or wife and that is so appalling. A relationship or marriage shouldn't be based on sex alone, to me Love is all that matters, where there is no love or mutual respect for one another even a sex therapist wouldn't be able to keep his/her marriage. I got married to my husband a virgin at age 26 (for ur info, I was not a naïve girl or a local champion, I was a graduate and masters degree holder in Environmental Engineering and project management from the University of Leeds) I am in all ramifications a very beautiful lady with the right curves in the right places. My nickname is Ijefine or miss shapy, I am a typical Igbo girl from Anambra state with the typical fair igbo complexion most Igbo girls have. My parents are above middle class level and we r catholics. My decision to remain a virgin wasn't drawn from my catholic values but just from what I had witnessed as a young pretty girl, it seems to me then that the first every man noticed or wanted was to grab my above average ass n I found it insulting, even my own sister's husband tried to peep at me when I was dressing up and always made remarks about my body, I dated just once b4 I got married and I refused to sleep with him because sex shouldn't be the reason why he should marry me, I made a conscious effort to keep my virginity n body just for the man who would love me for me, for what I represent and not my looks, it wasn't easy and I wasn't hiding my sexual status from my friends, they knew me and knew what I wanted. When I met my husband, I knew he was the one God sent to me, he didn't care about sex b4 marriage and he knew I was a "learner"(naija slang)everything I know now about sex, he thought me and I know my job well. He loved b4 he met me, and he still adores me n worships d ground I step on, I'm not as sexy as I used to look after a baby and a pregnancy, the boobs are not outstanding anymore after breastfeeding for a year and stretchmarks have taken over my former bikini body, when I complain, he tells me I have a precious daughter n no body will remain d same forever,his feelings for me hasn't changed a bit.just so u know, I'm not yet fat, I take care of myself well. So my dear, there r still good men who love their wives or gfs irrespective of their sexual prowess in bed.

Emeka said...

Which one is good sex?well I thinkk the mind set of the guy matters more in this aspect,every woman is good in bed,u teach her hw u want it,and she will learn rather flying around like lost duck.Moreover some ppl can stay in a relationship without sex,and still love there woman cos they have a pure mind set for her,u can just live a good girl cos of sex,haba nth meooooooo.ladies have a lot to offer if j r willing to learn from them and keep sex off.thank you all.

Sir jay said...

If na by that one I for still dey glued to my ex,s I luv ma guy so very much.... Even though sex with her is not as entertaining as other gals I had slept with, no matter how gud I get fucked by other gals, even in da process I still fink of my boo...lol

Anonymous said...

Will u marry me? Jus found my match....!!!!

Ojinika Mba-Kalu said...

The sensible here so far...anyone who laughs at you must be stupid.Keep at it and remain sincere.God makes all things beautiful in his time.Future counts more than today....bestwishes#

Kabuoy said...

Too much is expected of us ladies Linda!

U must be intelligent, learn how to cook, be beautiful, be trim and turn ur husband upside down in bed.
Even if ure sure a man wud marry u or not, u must still give out the cookie. And if he dumps u, everything ka d end!

Well... All u men that can't teach ur wife how to satisfy u and the next thing is to seek opt a, b, c, d. O wa lara yin(e dey ur body), ema ba nibe(u go meet am)

That's how some of them bring all sort of STDs to meet their faithful wives at home. Smh.

Me I yaf made a covenant with my mouth, not to give any man head! :) if he wants to die, let him die... If he likes he should have option A-Z and then continue to a-z... That's his cup of agbo jedijedi. Nonsense(palapala)

Anonymous said...

Could u be another fool of your kind?How naive n shallow can a man be!.I forgive ur ignorance.I reckon u didnt realize u included your loving mother as only worth as much as a sex object.Bomboy grow up.

Anonymous said...

Let's rephrase the Question:

Do some of you women really stay with a man ONLY because he's got Money? Not because you love him, or because he stimulates your mind, but because he gives loads of cash? Are there women out there that shallow?

Anonymous said...

Waited some months to be sure he loved me b4 I started giving him d best sex.
Right now, he can't do without me, lol
Wen I f### him, he cries. He he he

Anonymous said...

if your partner does not kno how to do it well, i feel you should teach the person how to. you have lots of porn movies and magazines that cud be a guide or better still, teach him or her how to wow u in bed.

IDA said...

That is a pretty wild question that is based on self discipline

Anonymous said...

sex is d major thing in a relationship, every other thing is an added advantage. Bcoz anybody can do d remaining thing, like u can get a maid dat can cook well, take care of ur house. so why should i marry a gal dat is not good in bed??

Anonymous said...

sex is d major thing in a relationship, every other thing is an added advantage. Bcoz anybody can do d remaining thing, like u can get a maid dat can cook well, take care of ur house. so why should i marry a gal dat is not good in bed?? it is better u dont marry than to marry some1 not gud in bed

Anonymous said...

No doubt good sex is very important in every relationship but I also think it's a flimsy reason for break up with your girl. You as man can stimulate the appeal. If she loves and wants to make you happy , she'll learn after all nobody was born into this life a sex guru. We all learn these things.. So my dear if your man is a nympho or he enjoys hot styles in bed, you gotta give it to him or he could go get it somewhere else.

Wale said...

Your Father!!! shey dem don dump you na, keep going like this and see how you end up in ur parents home all paled. load of shit.

As for you Linda, one more swipe at the guys and you will hear from me. Lol.

Anonymous said...

To please a woman a man has to play the ALMIGHTY GOD. All we ask is just a good food and wonderful sex. is that too much to ask for.?

Anonymous said...

Some guys are crazy wetin be good in bed, that means u want a slag as a girlfriend then, omo u teach them the skills jare. And the girls are the cause of it, when you will be looking for bad boyz, what do you get then, bad boyz are good in bed then, satisfy you and leave u for other girls. For me sex is not the main isn, coz i will teach u to be good to my taste, but all i need from my girl friend, is ambition, dreams, courage, respect and faithful. Bed no be my wahala i will teach her well she will squirt and never know when she does it. Linda na u i dey time ;)

Chichi Taichi Okere said...

Very well said!

Anonymous said...

i love good sex but its not everyday it'll have the 'wow' factor no matter how wonderful your partner is...no b everyday something....so there should be other stuff that'll drive you crazy about your partner...i am with mine cos he is funny,sweet,understanding and we can talk about anything....plus he gives the best head ever...*wink*wink*

Anonymous said...

baby, if you lie there like a log of wood even if you are the best cook, mum and wife in the world, we have a PROBLEM. Men are looking for a wife in public and a pornstar in the bedroom. We will manage a wife but we NEED a pornstar

Anonymous said...

I don't think so Linda,,,even a lame virgin could be guided on how 2 have good sex,,how to respond and all when she's ready... Like prince charming said earlier, if u like turn 360degrees in bed,if a guy aint got u in mind,,don't worry sis....an average African man will keep a woman who makes him good food longer dan d one dat gives him good sex...and if u've got both qualities as a woman,,,added advantage noni....

GLAM ME PRO said...

Prince charming u jus gt me cracking up @ turnin 360 ijiya nwanne. Hop u re charming as ur name says. Man wey lik u only for sex n nuffin more wud kip u jus for dt, but its good for a woman to be good in character, sex n kitchen dt way he can wife u.....

Anonymous said...

@anon 5:28pm, u are just too much, too matured jare.

Anonymous said...

Beta guy

Anonymous said...

Did I just hear someone say a BJ is no good witout a deepthroat? I think u guys are all watchin too much porn. Soon naija guys will start demanding anal sex and any girl who can't do dat will be termed'a boring fuck' . Where are we all heading too? Anyway,dat said,I think its important a woman(and man) know how to satisfy her man in bed. If u dnt know how,surely u can learn? If u luv someone,u want to do evrytin within ur power to make dem happy. If wow! Sex will make him happy,why not learn to give it to him if its important to him. Personally,as a woman and a person,I believe in being a full package...good cook,good homemaker,good mother and wife,smart as a whip and intelligent, good looking and of course, a damn good lover!! Naomi

Anonymous said...

Linda or "the lib reader",
Only 1 question i have for you: CAN YOU STAY WITH A MAN THAT CANNOT "ROCK YOUR WORLD"?

Anonymous said...

The neuro-chemical activity that underlies good sex acts as a pseudo-narcotic and greatly enhances pair-bonding where where the sexual activity is continual between the pair. Relationships will probably stand a better chance of lengthy success where couples sexually bond with each other prior to considering themselves an item. Difficult to achieve in a grossly hypocritical society such as ours.

Anonymous said...

Many people think sex before marriage is right when they know it is wrong and then complain when they face the consequences.
Simple Abstain from Sexual immorality and stupid questions like this will disappear.

Anonymous said...

to whoever wrote this letter think on this if your boyfriend had a 5 inch dick and you have never achieved orgasm with him, would you still be with him if you happen to meet someone who blows you away sexually. if every other part of you relationship is intact and your sex game is flawed o girl you need to buckle the fuck up

meeeeeeeeeeeeee said...

hI ALL..............Pls where are the Christians? what happened to GOD'S instruction abt premarital sex? As for me, im a female and YES a VIRGIN and im PROUD to say it. I dont know jerk about been good in bed and my boyfriend knows that. YES i av a bf and he's faithful. He's GOD'S gift to me.When We get married, we would experience and enjoy sex. And marraige shldnt be all about Sex.It takes a matured man to know that.

Anonymous said...

Although im still a virgin and will be getting married to my love very soon and our make-out sessions are Crazy!! He gives me butterflies in my tummy and I sure know how to wake "junior" up. Wink wink. I love to make the first move and leave the rest to him. I can't wait to start doing "the real thing" every where and anywhere in the house. He's so understanding and is ready to wait till we're officially married. Wedding night where are you ? Can't wait to get this started, cuz I can already see that we'll be fantastic together in bed.

Anonymous said...

Having sex with someone other than ur spouse is totally disgusting,sex is meant for the married if otherwise pls refrain because the consequences are enormous.

Unknown said...

WELL WE WANT THE WHOLE PACKAGE,,,BEEN GOOD IN BED IS PART OV IT......GOOD HEAD IS PART OV IT

Anonymous said...

"the first question my brother asked me was 'weren't you giving him good head?" what kind of sick human being asks their sister that question?

T.R.E.P.I.C LLC said...

Very interesting topic and after reading all the comments, i have learnt that even the men that claim not to be soo interested in good sex doesn't mind having one if available, its important for a lady to learn how to make her husband happy in bed, altho it does guarantee his faithfulness but then you are sure he will always come back for more and it will strengthen your marriage. nice one linda, but please don't lets refer to them as fools, they are creature God has bestowed on us to look after. what choice do we have?

Anonymous said...

Are there women out there that stay with a man just because he has money and not because they love him, but becuase he can afford all the shiny things she likes..are there women that shallow ?? What is good for the goose is good for the gander..

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