'After dating him for a few years, I asked Charly Boy to marry me or I would leave' - Lady Di | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Monday, 18 February 2013

'After dating him for a few years, I asked Charly Boy to marry me or I would leave' - Lady Di

Below is what she said during a recent interview sent exclusively to me...
I dated Charles for a few years before I proposed to him to marry me, else I would leave. He was getting too comfortable with just dating me because marriage wasn’t really on his mind. You know, he hasn’t been lucky in that department. During my first visit to Nigeria, I met his wonderful family and it was clear he was coming from a very strict Christian background. His family was a very spiritual one with high sense of morality and values, there was no way some of that wouldn’t have robbed off on Charles. I just fell in love with him and his close nit family. Since then, they have been ever so kind and loving to me. I just thank God.
I love her. I think women should start giving ultimatums to their men...especially if they are of marriageable age. John Legend's fiancee Christine Teigen just gave him an ultimatum. Marry me or I'm done. Lol. See more from the interview after the cut...




What was the thing that attracted you to him when you first met him?
His uniqueness of course,  and the fact that he is a gentle man, very sensitive, passionate, loving and a giving person. I must also add intriguing and adventurous because that was the first thing I noticed about him.
People say there is a whole lot of difference between courting and marriage; did you experience that in yours?
If people are saying that, then they are sure right. There is a big difference between courting and marriage. As boyfriend and girlfriend, you don’t have much responsibilities, you stay just focused on each other. After marriage comes a lot of responsibilities, children, in-laws, income, bills and a lot more. Marriage is a time to take charge and be serious, it is no longer a play thing. But if you have managed to be friends during courtship years, it makes the journey a bit easy. Courtship is playful, marriage is serious business. That is just the simple truth.
Have your trust for him ever wobbled, like maybe he is unfaithful?
As entertainers at the early stages, it wasn’t easy but as time passed by I began to see things for what they really are. Because we are always in the limelight, we attract all sorts of people, but experience will always teach us how to deal with things. Charles is not lacking in that area. Well, my trust for him may have wobbled in our first few years but I have long since figured out where his mind, soul and head is and I am comfortable with that knowledge.
Have you ever feared he will leave you considering his history?
I have been most lucky in all of this, considering that I am coming from miles away, no brothers, no sisters, no family, except the Oputas  and my friend Charles who sometimes fills in as a the brother I never had. Yes, it could be scary sometimes, but for some reasons those thoughts never took over my mind.
You have been together for thirty-six years, is there any secret behind this bond?
Charles is my best friend, our friendship came before marriage. I sure don’t have all the answers. What even works for me may not work for you, but what I do know is that, we are two individuals determined to make our relationship work. We talk a lot in our marriage, Charles is the first to say sorry when he goofs. He is so sensitive when it comes to my feelings, but above all, I think we are just two very good friends who have refused to grow up and who have sworn to watch out for one another.
Be sincere, have you ever woken up and felt you were done with the whole thing? Don’t you get tired and bored sometimes?
Being fulfilled in one’s marriage is guaranteed when your spouse is supportive, understanding, and sensitive to your feeling, always looking for creative ways to keep the spark in the marriage. I will just say that I am lucky and I thank God for that. No regrets.
Is there still romance in your relationship? Does your husband still look at you the way he did thirty six years ago?
Charles is an unrepentant romantic person, even though he hides that part of himself from public. He knows that I love romance and often makes the plan for such rendezvous. Being married for over three decades can become boring if you don’t work at it. We sure work at it because for us, this is it. That is why we try to keep it as youthful and fresh as we can. It is not easy but we are determined.
Has anything changed fin the last thirty-six years?
Life is always changing, nothing stays the same. We inspire growth in our relationship. He is like a fine wine, tasteful with age.

58 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good for them, next.

me_chuks said...

Very wise woman he's a lucky man

★★PRINCE CHARMING™★★ said...

Mr enigmatic! And a woman that can handle such a man well. Una fit jor! The "I proposed to him to marry me" line almost knocked me off balance, Giving him an ultimatum as Charlie boy later said sounds much better.

Anonymous said...

Linda, ultimatum to a typical Nigerian man?? He would flee.

simple baby said...

cool story bro

naijajobs said...

Wow, this is lovely

Anonymous said...

4rm her responses u can tell she's a smart woman. I luv wat she said. I mean if u tink of it ders no point bin wit a guy who doesn't wana take it 2 d next level. Sum guys r just 2 comfortable.

Anonymous said...

Yaaay !! I finally got to meet ma beautiful down to earth adorable lindaaa!! Twas soo good to Hang out WIV u today at the Social media week today... Hours of fun gist n all! U inspire me linda am so proud of u!! Much love 4rm UR ENUFF said teamDb .... Dnt 4get to acept ma bbm request oo was told UR hardly on UR fone..! Wish spent more time together thanks 4inspiring me!!

Anonymous said...

Strangely I enjoyed reading this ... She kept it real and I love her answers . Good luck to them

Eya Ayambem said...

Reading this is so refreshing! Lady Di is a successful wife. Thirty years with Charley Boy is not beans. Congratulations!
Well, Lady D, see step by step pics of how to make Local Naija meals. Your chefs might need them.
www.wivestownhallconnection.com

Anonymous said...

Lee lee oya leadership by example!propose to ur BF then u wil see it wil become a trend but make sure se d guy is crazy abt u b4 u add d threat##marry me or I leave u##he might just be waiting 4an opportunity 2run!I pray 4 a longlasting fruitful marriage

Eya Ayambem said...

I like this pic Linda, can't stop looking at it. This two are just ova romantic jare. Looking gave me goose bumps! no be lie.
btw, Step by step pics of how to cook banga soup, Nigerian white soup, shredded chicken, beef and even goat gravy, pics of how to coat chicken before frying etc etc o.
www.wivestownhallconnection.com

Myne Whitman said...

This is so sweet, I love it!

Anonymous said...

Wish all women could say that abt their hubbys in public no matter the secret clouds behind their marriages she refused to say so many. Tgings which I admire linda u too were deplomatic and I love her ans. She's da best I love her and her marriage more !!!!! We all have issues no best hubby,boyfriend wife buh d issue is how do u handle urs? Yes!

Anonymous said...

awww love.but some kind one.i envy couples dt av lived together for so many years. i can tell a guy that i av been dating for so long that too. trust me being blunt helps @ tyms. they once lived in my area & she loves jogging.

Anonymous said...

But this guy looks horible sha ooo hian, kilode?

Anonymous said...

If the idea of spending d rest of his life wt u wld make him flee, den he had better flee on time before its too late.

Anonymous said...

Yes oooo, very true! Gave my bf ultimatum too cos omo, old age don dey set in. Lolz.... He's now having plans!

Anonymous said...

Awwwwwwwwww

Anonymous said...

Lindiway am suspecting your dating oooo and trying to tell us something here lol !!!! He must nOt be your typical kind and pls give him ultimatum from all of us ooo by summer gbam no ring no ikeji

Anonymous said...

lovely woman i like her respond

yes I said it said...

My husband is a typical ibo man snd I gave him an ultimatum after 2 years of dating, told him i'll give him complete 6 months to do the right thing(meet my parents) or I would move on cause I was not getting younger. Anyway long story short he came with his family a week after to see my parents. Gbam and if he did not come I know I woukd have moved on.

Nsikan Idung said...

Hahahha--thank God u said "Nigerian Man"--well in dis context,we are talkin of charlie BOY#--

Anonymous said...

Perfect combination *in jenifa's voice.*Handsome Wife; Beautiful Husband. Lol

JustPorsh said...

She's a very wise woman!#much respect!
Some men need a wake-up call else they wud sleep for a 100 years!

http://www.justporsh.blogspot.com

JustPorsh said...

Its better he runs away ooo dan waste my damn time!

JustPorsh said...

True that!

Anonymous said...

Abegi..which ultimatum, if she go sponsor part of the wedding finance.....fine.if she wont, she shld wait till when am financially ok to host a wedding

DISCOVER THE SECRET TO LOSING WEIGHT AND BURNING BELLY FAT said...

Hmm charly boy

Anonymous said...

Where is the Lady from? She mentioned that she didn't have any family but the Oputa's...

Nikita....

Anonymous said...

Happy for them.it takes a strong woman to hold a strong man down. If you give a naija man an ultimatum he w'll run thinking you are Desperate. Especially men of today.

Anonymous said...

Sharap der!!! Na so many of una dey now

Anonymous said...

The ultimatum thingy wworks a lot for foreign women dating nigerian mem. My broda left a gf we all liked in d family becos she asked when they would move to the next level. I was shockedwhen he got engaged to an american who asked him the same thing.

Anonymous said...

Lol @ crazy about u before u threaten him. Good one!

Patrick said...

Linda, you nko? You no dey give ultimatum to your own boy friend?

Anonymous said...

if a man really love a lady ultimatum will not make him run away if he does move away it is a prove he does not love you and the early you know this the better. But don't go give ultimatum to a guy u just met or u are not sure he love you.

Anonymous said...

@Nikita She is an american and not nigerian

Anonymous said...

I gv my ex an ultimatum,nw he is married 2 som1 else.ROTFL. Well thank God he did,kos nw my hubby cooks wt me,nt +nce nt twice,everyday of our marriage. SEX on serious point,n best of all d guy dey raba well.*wink*.so if ur ex flees,gv him t fare sef,kos d best is yet 2 come

Anonymous said...

She be black american

mk said...

Omg! I just love dis two,3 whole decades hmmm! Oga charlie I give u kudos! Everyone see u as ma* but ur marriage didn't fail, love waxing strong! God b wit u guys, I wish u Golden jubilee nd as for Ultimatum my dear if a man wants u , u wld knw just dat some guys need to be pushed. Kudos linda I love ur spirit.

ugo.m said...

Lovely couple,they understand eachoda so well,as 4 d ultimatum thing,beta u know,its either he wud leave or he wud marry u,fear shudnt come in when u know its necessary to ask,rather than being with a guy who wud string u along for years and still nt marry

Anonymous said...

True talk my sister. You are so on point....

Chidigood said...

Nikita, she is not a Nigerian. She's American who has become more African than most Nigerian women.

Anonymous said...

You are sooooo right

Anonymous said...

This is what d call successful marriage. I'm so happy for them. God shld continue to bless ur union.

nero said...

thank GOD none of dem has poured d other other hot stew or hot okro soup. keep it up if ur marriage is wot makes yu happy

Anonymous said...

Where is she from?

Anonymous said...

I really Love thiƨ couple.well said lady d.i gave my bf ultimatum in nov 2012 he was so appreciative of it,we discussed hours tins we hv nvr said b4 & a lot of tins whr put in place.& his pple hv com 2 sεε mine pple.tins hv bin outlined.my advice: b4 u give ɑ guy ultimatum just Mɑkε sure he's d person u really wnt 2 spent d rest of ur life wit.meanwhile,if he lives d better.instead of wasting ur time wit him.

Anonymous said...

ok, i'll try dt wit my boy friend

I am, the NoSender. said...

Linda. Get this place heated up. Ask the guys their take on their girl friends or fiance proposing. Will they flip over? Take a 100mtrs dash? Feel the babe is desperate? Or just what? Have we men become emancipated to look at these things for what they are worth?

I am curious really. Because Lady Di proposed to Charly Boy back in the late 70s or early 80s when the average naija man was deep in conservatism as in the things expected of a woman. I guess these should be days when a woman even putting on trousers are frowned on. Yet Charly didnt mind.

browny said...

I like lady di, she is a strong woman!

browny said...

She is very strong woman, i like her!

Are You Tired Of Your Diet Making You FAT? Find Out 101 Flat Belly and Fat Loss NIGERIAN Recipe. Click here said...

strong woman

danexd said...

Linda.....give that your guy ultimatum , if he no gree then come make i marry you....but i have to confess that i am married so na second wife you go be.....no say i no tell u on time o

Anonymous said...

Hi guyz/babez if u really want God blexin on ur date 2 be married 2 keep ppl view out of wat u know nd believe. Trust ur God 4 a gud. husband or wife wit dis u 2 can begin by understanding ursif. Dat's when ultimatum can really come in. If he or she have u @ heart 4 a life patner well dat will work perfectly. Naija women if know say u get one bad habit wen d guy d conplan of nd u no fit change no even think of ultimatum cuz it wlt work. God blex our homes. Naija women need men 4 life tym abi?

Anonymous said...

if you time is still on a girls side she can give an ultimatum ....but linda as a mature babe don't try it o.....the guy will label u a desperado and take off faster than mr pristorius....You seem to forget that mrs charley boy was below 30 then ....so don't compare with her abeg

Anonymous said...

You can only give a man an ultimatum when you know you love him; that you are worth it; that the marriage material in you is not just quarter-yard which cannot even sew a G-String.
So know you are worth it and that he can't do without out or that will be your very last ultimatum to any man anywhere in this world.
From my findings, more than 50 relationships broke up because girls that didn't have enough marriage material in them gave their men "ULTIMATUM" that nite and ended up single the very next day!

Cheers, Ultimatum Receiver.

laposh said...

U just said my mind,good for them.

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