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| Amara |
They are also afraid because of the high mountain ladies have suddenly placed themselves on as no woman wants to date a poor man any longer but are all interested in those with good cars and houses.
A man recently told me why he does not allow his girlfriends to come to his house. According to him, he doesn’t want a case where a girl enters his house only for her to refuse leaving because of the beauty of the house and cars she will see.
Isn’t it surprising how single ladies now out-dress married women with good jobs whose husbands are very rich? You are not married because the single men around you are wondering if they will be able to meet up with your ever-demanding lifestyle. Even when they know they can afford it, what makes them believe you won’t take a walk tomorrow if anything goes wrong?
Another reason is that with your good job and salary, they are even afraid to come near you as they wouldn’t want to be turned down.
I have a female colleague, a very pretty girl who lives in her own house and drives a posh car. She also has different businesses to show for it. Recently, I advised her to calm down a bit as friends I introduce her to who ordinarily would have gone for her, all run away after meeting her and come back to me with the same word, “Amara, this one go send me go village.”
Another reason you are going to grow old in your father’s house is this: You want a ready-made man instead of a growing man with vision. Are you aware that if you have not obtained favour from God, the man will decrease instead of increasing when you enter his house? Work on your character, the words that come from your mouth, your lifestyle, the way you carry yourself, the way you dress, the places you visit and then spend time trying to find favour before God because it’s only favour that can make your husband increase the moment you step into his life.
In fact, the moment a man proposes to you, there must be some positive movements in his finance if at all you have obtained favour.
It is never your duty to find a man. While he is working trying to raise money to sustain whoever he takes home to his mother, you should get yourself busy obtaining favour from God for you to be his source of blessing. A man knows when the wife is a source of blessing and that is the only time he cherishes you.
In the previous paragraph, I said the man should take you home to his mother. I don’t understand why you get married to a man who believes it’s just between the two of you. Read the Bible; they all took their wives home to their mothers. If a man cannot take you home to his people, something is wrong. Isn’t it surprising how many of us are married without knowing our husband’s village and his mother’s bedroom? Marriage, in the African culture, is not between the man and woman alone, the two families must be involved.
Hey, you have to stop moving from one prayer house to the other in search of miracles that are not coming even after you might have emptied your pocket. Go back to your room; deal with your character and bad nature that is filled with pride and disrespect for the elderly. Cut down on frivolities and that is not all, deal with your party and aso ebi spirit. You must also deal with that thing that gets you to aimlessly move from one end of the street to the other all in search of precious souls to destroy. Change that mentality that says you use what you have to get what you want; any man you get with your ass is as filthy, unreliable and irresponsible as you are.
Common girl, go deal with yourself first before you start blaming your step mother of being the one keeping you down. Stop blaming your neighbours and friends of standing on your way to progress. I just told you the bitter truth which your Alfa, Babalawo, pastor and Imam may never tell you. Stop wasting your time chasing shadows, go and deal with yourself first before complaining.
I know of a wonderful lady who sings so well that when she comes to lead in worship, miracles take place. People love her, but this lady is unmarried till date. It is not because men don’t go to her for marriage or because she is ugly; her number one obstacle is her character. They say there are many old single ladies in our churches; I think I know the problem and not that most of them wasted their lives in frivolities only to realise the last minute that they have to run into the church where they can get a brother to marry.
I am not trying to judge anyone’s past, but the issue is that even when they join those churches, their characters don’t change. It’s really appalling how some ladies talk to men simply because they are in the same church. Some of them fight everyone in their department in church while some live their lives begging from one member to the other.
What do have to say about ladies who fight for food during church meetings? Those guys would be foolish to see the stuff you are made of and still go ahead to take you home to mama.
I always tell ladies that if by the age of 30 no man had asked to know if you are for sale, there is something wrong somewhere; its either spiritual or attitudinal, but the truth is that it is always more attitudinal than spiritual.
You have been fasting and praying and going for all levels of deliverance but it seems nothing is working. What is your character like after all the prayers and religious devotions? It is sad when I see a single girl walk up to a married woman sitting with her husband and telling the woman to get up because she was there before her. You attend functions with extra bags to pack food and drinks and when it’s time to hit the dancing floor, you do that as if there is no tomorrow. What do you expect from life when you are the source of all quarrels in your neighbourhood, church and office?
This is the moment of truth and if at all you want to be delivered, your decision to deliver yourself is the first step to your breakthrough.
*The end*
Culled from PM News
Is this Amara for real? I find this a tad ridiculous
341 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 341 of 341This may offend some people but boyyyy am I glad I grew up in the states for the most part.
I can't imagine having such a warped mindset.
She sounds so freaking ridiculous to me.
The way Nigerians latch onto marriage like that's all life is about.
The way these women speak of it, You would think most of them have the most loving & devoted husbands.
These same men are the ones constantly chasing these terrible independent girls up & down and adding to their independence while you the super perfect wife are living off hand me downs.
Yea more like perfect mumu.
It seems to me that Most Nigerian men seem comfortable with the idea of marrying a WEAK woman because it enables them go on about their philandering without much a-bother.
Soooo of course it comes as no surprise to me that people like her get married fast before the terrible 30.
But is she truly HAPPILY married is the question?
Then again, Happiness is subjective.
And my idea of being happily married does not involve me dumbing down myself by archaic standards.
God gave me this brain for a reason.
P.s- what's her beef with girls that like to dance?
In all honesty, this was a waste of my time.
..with the ear drum shattering invectives single nigerian ladies have poured on amara for "saying it like it is"(even though i agree the point could have been better presented),it is no surprise most of you are the way you are..your tongues cannot build a home,it can only break it.siddon there dey copy all these oyinbo and black american women,your eyes go clear when you are post menopausal and loneliness takes it toll in your old age.except you genuinely do not want to marry cos you have devoted your life to some worthy cause o,i hate to tell most of you forming big gals here that you will live to regret your high mindedness.linda if you like no post my message,na beef kuku make you put amara sunday sermon for all of una,so dat fellow naija go join yab am,no be so?
Truth is there's is TRUTH in what she said. Most girls have ill attitudes, so sickening materialistic and with all their imperfections are looking for a perfect man, how ironic. Though generalizing the issue is a bit wrong. Most people who reacted angrily are just mad because she messed up their make-up and painted a picture of their despicable life in their face. iLAUGH!
this reminds me of a woman i sat next to on a bus from lagos to ibadan. we saw a girl dressed scantily by the side of the road. this woman then says oniranu omo (wayward child), they will be doing runs, later on they wont be able to conceive and thats why i never pity barren women.
flabbergasted, i turned to this woman (50+) and said, ma how can you generalize like that? she said oh please, in my experience every barren woman has done something to her womb before.
Amara's generalization is no different from that woman's. Some valid points? yes. but what you sa is wrong with single women is a pervasive evil that applies to married women too. what next will she write? "why your husband cheats? - its because you are a horrible person"
Na Wah Oh...
What Amara wrote isn't actually the issue but how she presented her arguments...She made it sound as if any lady out there who is not married must be a bad person, have a bad character, does not have a womb is too over ambitous and what not...She forgot that there is a time for everything in life and moreover, not everyone is made for marriage, also not everyone wants to get married...
She spoke the truth from a perspective, other truths remain to be added. For those saying "Marriage is not a source of happiness,
Marriage is not a mark of fulfillment,
You don't need marriage to enter heaven, etc",
that is NOT the premise of her article.
The article is addresses some Reasons Why You(women) Are Not Married and not Benefits Of Marriage. She spoke well though generalization is not really necessary. Truth is BITTER that's why most people don't like tasting it. I know somebody who is so annoyingly obsessed with shoes, you'll be surprised the kinda shoe she does fasting & prayer and the rest to buy and how much she earns. There are GOOD, BAD and UGLY Men and Women. By default all normal women even the abnormal ones really wants to marry a "man", but if by their fault or otherwise they can't find the "man" they desire, as a last resort they just marry their lifestyle and pretend to the world that they are satisfied the way they are. Deep inside they know better. It maybe too late to change now in order to marry. If an ill-mannered woman must marry I rather you find a rude boy who who'll match you or suppress you than a gentleman who you'll torment and vice versa.
This article is as politically incorrect as anything i've ever read n a while, which tells me dat Madam Amara is old-school. If she's n her 40s as someone speculated, then nobody shld really be surprised by her thinking. Hell, I meet young ladies who think like that and call it wisdom!
Nevertheless, she has a few (very few) points. Attitude can be a problem. I'd this neighbor who can't hold her alcohol. Once she drinks, she misbehaves. She's a nice young woman. Very generous and kind-hearted, but her drinking was a big ol' issue 4 all d men who came her way n d 1 year we lived 2geda (3 of dem, actually). If she doesn't quit drinking, am afraid no amt of church attendance will help her case.
dat said, any woman living n Nigeria who deserves 2 marry honestly learns d act of rebranding. Yes o. Cos, all said and done, na d men dey ask 4 ur hand n marriage, not d other way round. No matter how high u score d man u r dating, if bobo no talk "will u marry me?" u r on ur own o! So, yes, we rebrand. The men want it like that, so we give it 2 dem like dat! Sha, one would say who's cheating who, but love, if as woman u insist a man MUST meet u on ur own terms, and u don't compromise, e go hard small.
Abt d 30 cutoff mark, daz mostly bullshit. I say mostly, not cos anything is d woman's fault, but based on perception (a stupid one @ that), a woman older than 30 is not much at a favourably competition with younger chicks. Remember, babes r graduating earlier, getting great jobs, riding cars and owning houses. So, u might find a 25y.o offering d same thing as a 31y.o. Suddenly, age becomes a disadvantage. And don't forget that d older one gets, d less single men she has on offer, unless she doesn't mind younger men in which case, bravo 2 her.
Ok, now i've said all d ways I agree with Madam Amara. D ways I disagree is her attitude. How can she condemn pple 4 d same crime she's committing? And y all dat airs? Is marriage that wonderful all d fucking time dat it's used as a yardstick for one's worth? Abeg, if u ask me, pple wld do well 2 ID if they r d marrying kind or not, save innocent folks unnecessary heartache. And yes, many single ladies want 2 marry. There'r just too many assholes n dis world.
@ Anon 11.57PM Sept 25th
Paul said it like it is and told people off when they needed a telling off - you and Amara need one and I am glad both single and married women have told her off and some men (Ade Cool or whatever his name is not included)
You very conveniently have mentioned that the people telling Amara off are all single - A LIE.
Why don't you tell us about the home you've built, how you've built it in your strength, why don't you go infront of the altar before God and boast to His face about how you did in your strength and your good works. Remember Nero in the bible, go and look him up first ok and try opening your mouth again boasting OK.
And oh, by the way, wen I said rebrand, I ddnt mean throw away ur car and move in with ur parents (stupidest advice anyone ever gave me), but attitudal rebranding. Like my friend said, all d nightclubs n Abuja know her, time 2 move cities. in d new city she moved into, chick did not step into a club! Yes, daz rebranding. And believe me, it works way after than d cars u give up and d houses u abandon.
Amara you are as ridiculous as the things you've written about why some ladies are still single. My guess is that you're married, if so do you really think you got married cos you are perfect? Abeg get off your high horse and be true to yourself. In my opinion, you're not better than some of those single ladies out there. Many single ladies have accomplished a lot for themselves and are proud of their accomplishments so if a man likes such a lady and cannot approach her cos of all those, then he is a coward period! Please quit judging people based on your ridiculous and baseless assumptions and keep your issues to yourself and concentrate on building your own home.
Only in Nigeria....Since when has "Singleness" become a severe disease?? Makes it sound worse than HIV. Everyone's timing and destiny is different. There are wayward pple/party girls out there that were the first to get married.
Since when does becoming a regular church goer now turn to going to look for church brother/husband...whatever happens to Giving your life to christ, been there, done that and now starting a new begining??
And in naija, even married women out-dress the single ones these days...married women even club more than the single ones.
Yes, she made some point but a whole lot of the write is just BULL and her being very Judgemental!!
Also, why are the married naija women so quick to judge and condemn the single ones.....Not all single ladies out there are wayward or party goers....Why the label....really? Besides, How many of these so called "Married men and Women" are actually happy in their marriage? How many of them actually married for love??
At the end, it is the married men and their husbands that start chasing after the single ladies, knowing fully well that they have wife and kids at home.
Honestly speaking, attitude plays plenty when it comes to marriage. I live in the U.S. and many of my friends are in their late thirties and single. These are career women who are exhausted and sigh at taking on the responsibilities of wife and/or motherhood. They want men to split everything 50/50 except when it comes to money. Smh because not matter what these so call feminist tell us each gender has specific roles in marriage. Some of my friends are already washed up emotionally and physically due to work related stress. Now speaking of friends married...well they tend too to focus heavily on their careers. For example, one recently completed her BSN. Has a child with behavioral promblems and instead of taking the time to train her child; she sent the child to Nigeria. I blame both her and the husband for this heartless act. But as a woman, It's hard to put anything before my child and I think most women would agree. These days we must sacrifice when it comes to matters of the home as we are the peace keepers. So word to those young ladies don't burn out too soon or you may end up single or married in a house made of cards. Be encouraged for success but not to a point you forget the Almighty is all knowing. Follow God's plan and the position he has given us not Man's prescription. Don't be fooled.
I feel compelled to share this story just because...
Married lady driving a toyota camry gets into an accident with single lady driving a lexus.
Married Lady calls her husband to come to the scene to help her out, husband declines saying he's busy.
Single lady calls boyfriend to come help her out, boyfriend arrives at the scene with the quickness.
But guess what, boyfriend is actually Married woman's husband.
So tell me, besides answering Mrs. Somebody, what exactly is this married woman gaining?
Your husband cannot even come to your aid when u need him but can quickly run to the aid of his girlfriend?
If that isn't the biggest slap to the face, I don't know what is.
Marriage is something I look forward to someday but if it involves what the average married Naija woman is going through, I'll pass.
Amara you are so beautiful yet so ignorant. You speak from a very narrow-minded view. This article lacks exposure, the tone of your message is the very reason why women are in great danger of domestic violence in their relationships. If you can give a very harsh view then you should able to take harsh comments!
Our people should remember, it's not about getting married but getting married to someone good. We give ourselves deadlines and end up marrying bad people. After all, the Titi Arowolo girl that was stabbed a few months ago, was Married.
@ anon September 25, 2011 11:10 PM (the one abusing mothers)...
You are very steewpid for that comment. First it is a ladies fault that she is single and over 30, now it is or mothers fault abi? Why not our grand mother and great grand mother....Oni ranu!
Forget the writer...the work that needs to be done is on society (as evidenced by some of the comments). The only difference is that Amara has come out to say what so many judgmental and ignorant, high on their horses, holier than thou nigerian women (both married and single) say in the cluster of their like companies and teach their children. And sadly some poor child will believe this and suffer self esteem issues. Quite Sad!!
if i didn't know better, i would think that i (single, 33, 2 degrees from ivy league US university, my own business, high end car, luxury apt in a posh part of town which i pay for myself, dress well and fine, love to cook and take holidays when i feel like) had a terminal disease by this article.
First of all, from what you have described and labeled women who want different (i.e the so-called that look for ready made men...in short gold diggers as you pt it) by my description above, any man wey no fit carry, wey come my side come dey yarn 'marry me' fit be gold digger too. So my dear your are off-point.
and the one who gave the Beyonce example....J married Beyonce because he discovered she was a beautiful person on the inside. But before he could have seen that, he also saw she was a strong, independent and successful woman with endless talent. GBAM! With or without J...Bee would be on top of her game because she is favoured by God. Any man would be lucky to have her but God sent the right man to her (one who was of equal yoking).
So ladies WAIT on God...while you are at it LIVE (and no be by force to marry). Men work on yourselves and groom your woman (not work on urself and feel it is license to sweep all women into your bedroom)
Marriage is a great thing no doubt but it does not solve problems. Ask the divorce court judges and lawyers. In fact if not contracted right (in sincerity and with the face of God) na big wahala be that.
Aunty Amara....as i have read that you are a widow. my dear it was not your fault. Don't feel guilty when you are approached because you are young and beautiful. Your mentality might be off putting so i suggest you work on that so that you can see things differently and know that if you choose to stay single and unmarried, it is a choice you have made and you too can be fabulous and successful at it. And just when you are not expecting, God might just send you another good man to give yo a GREAT SECOND CHANCE! It happens all the time, so lets stop all this ignorant generalizing and castigating.
i just tire
ok, before we drag amara to the gallows, let me just ask; is there another part of this write up or is this it? it's a little one sided.
perhaps if it was better framed and flowed a little better,with arguments more well rounded and more constructive than condemning, we would be abit more receptive to her point of view.
That being said, it has managed to get a few people in a tizzy! lol
Amara I pity your daughter. I am married but i think this is ridiculous. And you are extremely foolish for comparing 30 and above women to goods for sale.
Ade Cool is such a local fool. Your comments never make sense and are so myopic. You are so engrossed with bad girls, that in your jared mind almost all girls dont have wombs. You are just a judgemental prick. See ur ugly looking self nobody wants an idiot like you. Who told you age has anytin to do with fertility. Havent u seen 42 years giving birth to healthy babies while I know some inferitle virgins. With ur watery and low sperm count who told u are a man. You must suffer from serious inferiorty complex cause u are always here on a predominatly female blog to vomit your venom on women, you cant and will never have the guts to approach. Any post that has to do with demeaning girls, you black fool is so quick to jump in and make stupid comments. Now chinese and palestian women whom have been thot servitude and to carry the badge of second hand citizens with honor, who have been made to beleive that a woman is to be seen and not heard are now the bases of judging Nigerian women, for ur info I am happily married, but hate it when men talk a load of crap about single girls. Goats like u are the reason why some girls have choosen to remain single. Dont envy the fool that will marry or is married to you. And for your information if you didnt meet your wife a virgin, as far as you are not the first man to have carnal knowledge of her. She is still a whore and in the same catergory of your mypoic vision that all girls are whores. WASTE OF SPERM.
So the stupid Amara is a widow. After killing her husband with her horrible attitude and cantercarous behaviour she goes on a rant. Anuofia.
wow... i don't believe some people are still this naive and retarded. so a woman can't have a good job and still have a shot at a happy married life. '... this one go send me go village' that line made me laugh heh.. and to think this made it to PM news. Well i don't blame those peeps, even if someone finds a cure for cancer, their front page news will still be about someone stabbing the other or how 10 people died. they never have something good to report. i guess the tradition goes on... stupid people. can't believe i just wasted 5 mins of my life reading this crap and another 5 mins leaving a comment on how disgusted i am.. mchewww
This so wrong and insensitive. Amara, I totally disagree with this. I believe the reason we are not married is because our time has not come as there is a man for every woman. You may have some facts but, please a lot of SISTERS are doing well and can afford a lot of things for themselves. Or are you trying to say that if one is looking to get married, she should dress shabbily? Then again, it is not what one looks like that determine if she can marry or not. Dressing is secondary, the important thing in getting married is ones person please.
Please, nobody should throw stones at me or anyone. Nigeria is a very large glasshouse & whether you are for or against her, you're at least 3 people away from someone close who represents what you are attacking.
That said, I find nothing wrong in a successful woman. I encourage it. What I consider worrisome is how they got their success. Not everybody sleeps with aristos or does juju to make money...but no one writes it on their CV/Resume.
If anyone wants to know why I am single in an ocean of beautiful Nigerian women, it is because I put character first, before anything...even looks. (No, I am not deceiving myself. If you think I am, then I think you are.)
A Nollywood actress has been linked with the Senate president. She is single, but it seems she was seeing him before she got divorced.
Am I so stupid as to think there is something wrong with this picture? Am I?
Linda, I am a fan, I love what you're doing and how you're doing it. I just felt the urge to let you know that even though Amara's article was caustic, there is really no bad advice there. She's just asking ladies to be honest with themselves on how they portray themselves, respect the things that men look for in a wife, and remember that God isn't a 'one-trick-horse'.
He knows and has what each individual person needs...all that is needed is humilty and a heart willing to listen.
The truth is always bitter. Say it again and again. Thumbs up Amara
I see a lot of truth to what Amara has sad...there's some emotion which some have described as ugly, but for me, its 80%
That's my piece
Linda like seriously is this writer alright?
is she really mentally ok?
she sounds like she just had a fight with some girl......if she was the only counsellor in this whole wide world, i would never go to her. she is stupid and her write up shows it...i agree with you she is ridiculous.
she would have successfully driven her point but common the rudeness is way too much.
im 28 and single and i can honestly tell u that i feel hurt by what amara has said,but in a way it is true.but i strongly believe in the grace of God.
ok... but seriously amara you seem bitter, you sound like a hypocrite... *smh*
Amara is really a bitter person. She writes with so much pain, anger and venom.
She obviously lacks class,and reminds me of an old nag.
i think Amara was a bit too judgemental and stereotypical and bitter.
Yes, there are a lot of single girls like that who have bad characters, who are loose and blah blah but there are also a lot who have good home training, are hardworking and just haven't found the right man yet.
I think Amara is married and maybe her husband has cheated on her with lots of single girls, that tends to make married women bitter.
remember that you were once single Amara and it's only God that knows tomorrow... He alone is the architect of this life, just cos you are married today doesn't mean you will be married tomorrow.
My advise is that you should teach with love, see the Late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya, she taught with love and till today her legacy lives on.
You on the other hand though you look so pretty and well educated, are so backwards.
Being married is not a status, it's the same mentality where we put men above all else, meaning except a man marries you and puts you in his house, you are nothing and mean nothing. It's this same mentality that supports violence against women.
A woman does NOT have to be married to be recognized, how come when a man stays single till he is 30 or 40, it's almost applauded.
We need to encourage the women in our society and encourage them because you can only correct when you show love, any other way is just bullshit.
This babe is obviously naive and doesn't have a clue about what life is all about.....dearest Amara life isn't white and black there are some grey areas as well. If you have concluded all theses rubbish that you have, what is the explanation for those very wayward girls that end up with very good and loving husbands?
Am guessing you are married and you r thinking because u were a good girl that is why ur husband married u.....The race is not for the swift , so be careful with what you say and write.
As a man, I have to say this is pure bollocks. ('excuse my French')
The same Amara bashing single ladies was thrown out of her husbands house by her in laws. If you follow her write ups on nigeriafilms.com, she was bashing her in laws for throwing her out of the husbands house. Talk of bad attitude and she has the guts to write this. She is just a bitter woman.
Apart from the hasty generalisation, i question your moral viewpoint.
In your facebook account you announced that one of your children just graduated from secondary school or something. Yet your marital status says 'engaged'
That proves you were a singleton sleeping around and having children out of wedlock. worse still you are still not married.Do you know many singles are still virgins, while others are celibate waiting for the right man. Not everyone is materialistic.i.e intelligence does it for me, i can get married to a single stephen hawkin type in a heartbeat if he feels same about me. so stop generalizing
Your profile describes you as a writer.Yet you write on topics condemning women of 'sins' you yourself are guilty off, trying to validate yourself by being controversial?
Finally its writers like you that get women like Titi mutilated for in their quest not to be grouped as singles and despertion to marry and stay 'happily married' they hook up with the nearest unemployed psycopath who slice them like cows.
All that said, MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE AND IS CERTAINLY NOT A YARDSTICK TO DETERMINE IF ONE PERSON IS BETTER FROM ANOTHER!
Like a writer put it in my blog.
I attribute that to Nigerians and their cultural mindset. Do you people sincerely think that it is God's wish for everyone to get married? Just because Nigerian society makes marraige and child bearing seem like the begining and the end of one's life does not mean that it is that way with God. This is also why some women and men keep hopping from one bad marraige to the next and they wonder why they are not happy in the institution. God has a different purpose for each individual. For some, it is the purpose of marraige and kids and for others, it is something else. Here in the West, I see single women making strides everyday. Some are at the peek of their careers, others adopted a baby or two and are enjoying motherhood, others are making a positive impact in their communities through volunteer work (Volunteering, yes,...a strange word for many Nigerians.....), others are U.S Supreme Court Judges, others are researchers and experts in their chosen fields and the ADVANCED societies they live in celebrate their accomplishments. However, Nigeria is another case. It is an overwhelmingly negative, unproductive, oppressive, disorderly, UNADVANCED society. It is a society I will never want to raise my kids in even if they paid me to. We Nigerians blame our leaders for the mess the country is in but most of its citizens are as much to blame with their backward, oppressive, gendercentric mindsets. Even other Africans here abroad talk negatively about how Nigerians are obsessed about marraige and the birth of children and how Naijas pop babies out like unspayed rabbits knowing they lack the adequate financial resources to take good care of the kids and offer them an enviable quality standard of living. Anyway, na una sabi. Peace!reference: http://efemenaoreoluwa.blogspot.com/2011/04/this-is-true-story-about-two-friends.html?showComment=1302395201897#c911128382861677885
Amara abeg try Please remove the log from your eye.
Mena.
p.s: all opinions weclome here http://efemenaoreoluwa.blogspot.com/2011/09/engaged-but-single-by-guest-blogger.html
UZOMA CHUKWU !! GOD WILL BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY ! as for you amara; i have no comment !
The truth is very bitter.Amara has spoken the truth and plenty professional spinsters here are ranting.It is not a must that every man/woman should marry.I agree with her more on her write up except few postulations.
Perhaps the most unintelligent piece of writing. Though some women might have character flaws its hardly the case that its the ‘sole’ reason they are unmarried. And indeed many ill behaved women are married and vice-versa.
What sort of man is insecure and threatened by a woman’s success? Certainly not the kind any woman needs. While you are attacking women that are probably happily single, perhaps you should have balanced the ‘lamest article in the world’ by saying something about the ills of the Nigerian men (they perhaps will top the list of worlds’ worst behaved men) Not that this would have made this article any less unintelligent. I am still perplexed any woman would use the word ‘sale’ in relation to women and marriage. That tells me lots of things about Amara I’d rather not point out here. To Amara-women are not goods/objects/products. They are specially designed by God to be honored and cherished. God has a reason for placing wealth, power and success in the hands of many women. God is not a stupid God. He is never too late not too early. He will provide husbands to those who need and he’s a God of grace and even when we don’t deserve he will provide. If you want to rely on a spiritual argument I bet you the God I know is full of Grace and would dissent this myopic view of his princesses and queens. How do we expect men to honor women when ‘women’ purport that they are for sale in the name of marriage. When you buy something you own it and can do as you please with it. How? When we as women are made to feel incomplete and defective without a man. The only perosn that can make anyone whole is God. So ladies please put your focus on him and in due time he who knows what you need will provide, be it a man, a good job,a house or indeed friends. Amara does not have the answers and lacks even the intelligence to write a balanced article even about her own kind (women).
1 Corinthians 7:34 “But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world how he can please his wife and his interests are divided. A woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord” God's quite happy with single women. Amara, I'm not sure what your problem is with them. That said its important that women and men act with honor and in time God will honor them in turn.
To all the "Amara Sympathisers" out there who think the women ranting here are washed up single shrews. I pray you don't end up eating your words when your daughters and sisters end up being single over 30.
I wonder if you'd be so sympathetic if & when she writes another outstanding piece about "Reasons why Men are failures if they are not rich by 30"
SMH @ this thing of not having a womb...
Are you the medical doctor who attends to the woman to know the state of her womb?
So this amara is a WIDOW? of course she will be a widow. When God blesses you with a husband and you choose to use his blessing as a torment to others, God will take the blessing away sharp sharp.
That is why your ass is a widow amara. How would you like it if I accused you of killing the man? How would you like that? After all, Nigerian society stigmatizes widows too. Maybe I should accuse your currently widowed ass for chopping the man in the spiritual realm. It is no wonder your inlaws don't like you and kicked your ass out of their late son's house even though you bore kids. Now your jealous ass has to raise 3 kids all alone....Ha ha ha ha!
I agree women need to stop running to church for husband and fighting for food, no one both man and woman should be fighting for food please. Secondly attitude is a big problem for females in nigeria especially from what i have heard from the married men them selves. My uncle claims it is like sexual assault from the single women every time he goes out drinking in soul lounge or boat club, they just prow on him and his friends with no form of discretion like really come on though men cant be that scarce in nigeria. And lastly i must be real although amara was right in my first two points this one about nigerian women scaring men away because they now have good jobs and good cars is a bunch of bullshit(xcuse my lang). For how long do nigerian men want women to be their subordinate? these women have vexed and taken financial matters into their own hands abeg and i applaud them ahn ahn. Now men are scared because she is too rich and comfortable for you. hisssssss that is by far the dumbest thing i have ever heard wtf? if she is from a poor home you will say she is a wretch now she is rich you are saying she pass your power. How about you get better at your job and meet up with her financial standards or better yet get to know the woman behind the successful business and learn a thing or two from her and build your empire with her. Its not only the woman that can come to you and build, man also can come to the woman and build together. The sooner men realize nigerian women have no time to waste the better for you all because from the looks of lagos alone lol una dey dull big time. It will shock nigerian men when women start marrying non richer nigerians then tell me what you men will have to complain about lmaooo
Why all the hate. Most of you women would agree the text did not lack articulation, you will also agree its her opinion and its reality.
If you think Nigerian girls don't have altitude problems then think again, take your statistic, go ask Nigerian guys, they will tell you.(put most or some in front of Nigeria b/4 you crucify me of generalization)
Linda you fall my hand big time, along with so many people including one Uzoma. why attach sentiments to this. Tackle the topic as it is and stop assuming. Never base your argument on subjectivity. whether she is married, single widowed etc.. for all I care, Amara could be a man. READ THE ARTICLE FOR WHAT IT IS.
Folks that say marriage is not happiness, please move to the next article, this one is not for you, after all being single is not being homeless. Reverend sisters and celibate exist and Amara knows that and wasn't addressing them (you).
Nobody is saying you shouldn't chase career, at least I did not interpret the article in that light.I honestly don't know how you guys comprehend. in fact, nobody wants a sit at home lady, there are bills to pay mehn... what I understood when she said calm down is just humility, simple. I remember the first day I started work, I wanted to drive one of my Dad's SUV to work, my dad called me and talked to me for good 3hours, he proposed i take the old looking passat instead. after the talk i took byke instead. Today the kind of favors I get from people that see me as humble despite the affluence I am born to ehh nbst ohhhh. I am happy I took that advice. David Cameron and his office has the money to buy 10 private jets if he wants, but guess what? he flies BA just like me and you. HUMILITY. Richard Brandson's kids the heir to the virgin empire fly economy as advised by their dad. HUMILITY. That is why the so called RUNZ girls know this trick and know how to re-brand.If you think you can flaunt your posh car every time you like be it politics, marriage, business etc, and it works for you, good luck to you.
An opinion is an opinion, and should be taken as such. I don't agree with her thoughts on 'Over 30 and off the market' (even though what she used was a freaking figure of speech) you should respect her opinion instead of cursing. (The attitude we are talking about).
I commend those that stated their opinion without insults, those are examples of Good wives, not running mouths.
My tweet of today will be, 'peoples opinions are like food menus, take the good stuffs and leave the rest'.
@ Anonymous 11:10 PM.....it is folks like you that makes me sick and give Christianity a bad name!!!
Who made you God to not only judge the single girls but go ahead and judge their mothers as well? and then u cover it up by telling her to hide yourself under God's protection. Does God really protect folks like you that even rant their mouth?
U might be married now but no one knows tomorrow my dear. Keep praying for your marriage rather than ranting and insulting pple's mothers...whatever happens to Manners and respect??
Married life is great if it's with the right person...Some people should just never marry. Selecting a spouse at times is like buying a lottery ticket, in the material world. What pple don't get is that you just don't pray to be married but u also pray to have a "happy marriage"!!
Why all the hate. Most of you women would agree the text did lack articulation, you will also agree it’s her opinion and its reality.
If you think Nigerian girls don't have altitude problems then think again, take your statistic, go ask Nigerian guys, they will tell you. (Put most or some in front of Nigeria b/4 you crucify me of generalization)
Linda you fall my hand big time, along with so many people including one Uzoma. Why attach sentiments to this. Tackle the topic as it is and stop assuming. Never base your argument on subjectivity. Whether she is married, single widowed etc.. for all I care, Amara could be a man. READ THE ARTICLE FOR WHAT IT IS.
Folks that say marriage is not happiness, please move to the next article, this one is not for you, after all being single is not being homeless. Reverend sisters and celibate exist and Amara knows that and wasn't addressing them (you).
Nobody is saying you shouldn't chase career, at least I did not interpret the article in that light. I honestly don't know how you guys comprehend. In fact, nobody wants a sit at home lady, there are bills to pay mehn... what I understood when she said calm down is just humility, simple. I remember the first day I started work, I wanted to drive one of my Dad's SUV to work, my dad called me and talked to me for good 3hours, and he proposed I take the old looking passat instead. After the talk i took a byke instead. Today the kind of favors I get from people that see me as humble despite the affluence I am born to ehh nbst ohhhh. I am happy I took that advice. David Cameron and his office have the money to buy 10 private jets if he wants, but guess what? He flies BA just like me and you. HUMILITY. Richard Brandson's kids the heir to the virgin empire fly economy as advised by their dad. HUMILITY. That is why the so called RUNZ girls that get married and to some extent are happy know this trick and know how to re-brand. If you think you can flaunt your posh car every time you like be it politics, marriage, business etc, and it works for you, good luck to you.
An opinion is an opinion, and should be taken as such. I don't agree with some of her thoughts, especially on 'Over 30 and off the market' (even though what she used was a freaking figure of speech) you should respect her opinion instead of cursing. (The attitude we are talking about).
I commend those that stated their opinion without insults; those are examples of Good wives, not running mouths.
My tweet of today will be, 'people’s opinions are like food menus, take the good stuffs and leave the rest'.
Madam amara please I hope u have male version of this blog so u can also address the reasons why some men are single! Women are always d ones bending over backwards! You set out to advice people but u cldnt be ojective! U came and sighted isolated instances and ur using it to generalize!!! Wen I start my husband quest I will contact u!
Anonymous 11.10pm - Amara, if you are going to respond then be as brave as you were when you writing and use your real name. Why hide behind "anonymous"?
You know, I feel so sorry for this girl/woman. The more reason why women should achieve more in life.It is a natural screening for men who do not compliment your lifestyle. After all, why should you lower your standards because of some poverty perverted guy?
Women, please, uphold your standards and never use your age as a blockade to getting the kind of man that suits you,instead of going for a TOKUNBO.
Yes, I am a married woman. I didn't get married when my mates where hyper ventilating in their twenties. I knew attracting the kind of man I wanted in my life needed me to be a high achiever in life. After all, which man no like better woman to compliment his lifestyle too?
If I had been desperate like most females in Nigeria, I would never had met my husband, instead, I would have ended up with some man who feels women should not be making more that a certain amount of money, or should never be ambitious. Thank God for patience, knowing who you are and having high tastes.
I'm sure Amara meant no harm. As much as she raised a few valid points it should have been addressed in love. Her words were very harsh and condescending.
No one is perfect we all are a work in progress. Amara please improve your writing skills. So u reach out to your readers and not seek out insults.
This writer is a big idiot. I cannot believe that this is what young ladies in Nigeria now read. Where are your priorities ladies? This is 2011 not 1984. Marriage is something that comes when you are going for your gold, not something you fetch for. If really girls do act like this to find a man in Nigeria, then we are in a bigger mess in Nigeria.
We need to stop making comments or stating absurd opinions because we have the media at our disposal. Amara you have personal issues that you need to address and find solutions to or face the lady that is troubling ur marriage and stop generalizing issue. Have you thought of the fact that married women dress same way and most also are not proverbs31 women in their homes and that is why we have high increase in divorce rate which is at 65percent increse yearly.Your editor is not a professional at all,how can u write an article without facts or datas just a collation of your personal frustrated life which of course is
evident in your article and commended by same group of frustrated and ill mannered married women. If you really want to write please address the women as a whole on the negative effects modernization is having on our culture and societal values not to single out unmarried mature ladies whom you don't know what they are going through personally. Amara Honestly ask for GodS's mercies before you bring curses on your life and family cause you have grieved many souls.
Some of the things Amara said are true, some are not. The bottom line is that a woman does not have to be married to be filfilled in life. I got married 13 years ago and have three wonderful children to show. That is where the cinderella story ends. I no longer love my husband (and doubt if I ever loved him) and I believe he no longer loves me too. Not that I care really. We are still together because of the children. He does absolutely nothing for me - financially, emotionally or spiritually. We still have sex often enough but that's because he asks for it. Left to me, it won't happen. If I meet a man who catches my fancy, I might have an affair. For now, I have decided to concentrate on my children and career. I care less about my so called husband. If I knew my marriage will be like this, i would have had kids out of wedlock for my ex-boyfriend who I still love very much. Please note: I got married at 26 years old - partly because I wanted to get away from my domineering dad and partly because I was scared I would end up like some of my aunts and cousins who married either very late or not at all. I was not in love. I thought I was. I should have waited for the right man. I would like to encourage all the single ladies to wait for the right man. Don't marry the first man who asks for your hand. That was the mistake I made. I regret it everyday.
@UZOMA CHUKWU LOVE YOU GAN NI U SAID IT ALL AMARA ALMOST SPOILT MY DAY SO YOU MEAN BEING A SUCCESSFUL YOUNG LADY IS A SIN NOW OSHI ATI IRANU,SHE'S SO SPITEFUL
Everyone that sees something wrong in what this Damsel has said is guilty of what she has outlined-age and all. Linda don't get me wrong,i love you loads,but I'm disappointed that for one what you stand for-being open-minded is what you're attacking her for...she has spoken....y'all listen....it might not be directed at you....don't sweat it.
#Amara #word!
Amara is over generalizing. I am married with 3 children. I had my share of fun when I was in the university. I dated married men.I partied a lot in those days. I was certainly not a virgin when I got married. My husband proposed to me less than six months after we met. I married in my mid 20's - well before most of my friends. I still have friends in their early 40's who were and are still 'good' girls. They are well mannered, come from good families and have good jobs. They are still not married and it's not their fault. Sometimes, I wonder why someone like me was able to 'catch' a man and they haven't been able to. Beats me.
this is total bull shit!common at this stage we should be able to understand the fact that marriage isn't everything and for someone to come out talking about why a person isn't married and heaping insults on people is totally unacceptable. in this modern age, nobody should still remain with this mentality. Grow Up
NOPE she is not saing the truth! this book is daft! and anyone that believes this is just as daft
this woman obvioulsy sounds miserable and bitter, she aint gat nothing thats why. and all u pple supporting this are just as miserable! clearly she married a poor man too!
if to say technology no dey 9ja,ll women of dis century throw their dirty linen in public?. of cos not. Una get time. *smh*
She's a widow cos her husband probably killed himself cos he was married to her. Mschewww!!!
@ Anon Sept 25 11.10pm. You insult people's mothers cos u don't have one. Its obvious u were picked from the road. Offspring of a mad woman. Mscheww!!!!
Madam Amara!judging from ur article,you must be married and happy in ur husband's house.
I will be 30 come Feb. next year and as I type this I don't have a BF.I can count 3 ex-guys,one is married and the remaining two unmarried till date.I am a well brought up girl and fun to be with but still unmarried.My ex's call all the time to know how I am doing and they all still wished they had behaved underwise.
My married ex called at my office this year to borrow some money and I gave him what I could afford and begged him not to refund.
The very last sent me a very long SMS on the 30th of last month at about some minutes to midnite, saying''Hw was ur day?I musn't allow 2day 2go without letting u know this:Temitayo, I appreciate & celebrate U.U're the best friend I ever had in my life. The memories of our friendship lingers afresh in my life and I blame myself for being foolish to have allowed such a precious gift as u slip off my hand and life.I accord you the best cos you are sweet!I wish you all the best in life and I pray God will satisfy ur soul with his goodness. Take care and sleep tight bye!
Madam Amara, dis is to show you how stupid I am and how my being single is not because I am characterless.
I am a very good Christian and belief that God knows my beginning and he knows what will end it,he said he will provide for me according to his riches in glory. He knows I can't have heat alone, he also knows that I need a partner to go with the Holy spirit in my life to withstand a threefold cord which the Lord says is not easily brokened.He knows that two heads are better than one,
I realised somethings in the place of prayer about a year ago that marriage is not 'beans'One must be matured physically mentally and spiritually for it.If I had ventured into marriage two yrs back,only God knows what would have been me today.
I see a lot of married friend who look at me and say 'Temitayo you won't miss it in Jesus Name' and my response to them is Amen. Many have missed and no turning back for them.
I am enjoying my singlehood and praying to God for a better tomorrow.
Madam Amara,the only reason I won't totally rubbish your article is because you atleast wrote something.Learn to balance your arguement,pls. send out to pple around you for a proper edicting and pls give to pple who loves you and open it to proper analysis. Our God is not a late comer.
It never seems to amaze me the extent to which the average Nigerian will go to distort plain facts and win an argument.
I challenge anyone to point to anywhere in the article where this lady insinuated that if you are not married by 30, there is something wrong with you.
Is English Comprehension so big a problem for Nigerians?
This lady stated that a lady who is 30 years old and is yet to have received any offers must surely have a problem.
I CONCUR.
Irrespective of whether you are interested in marriage, actively seeking, or a spinster for life, if at the age of 30 years, no serious man has come to you to see what you have to offer, then there certainly must be something wrong with your attitude or you have some spiritual problem.
Men would come and you can tell them - "Sorry, you're not what I'm looking for," or "I'm not ready yet," or "I'm not interested in marriage."
But for you to to be a 30-year old woman and never to have received interest (wanted or unwanted) from any serious-minded man means you need to re-examine yourself.
Something must really be wrong with you, your attitude, or your character, or your aura (if you believe in such).
And That includes you, Linda. You can tell us that you haven't been satisfied with the men indicating interest in you. That is fine, but you surely shouldn't be able to open your mouth to tell us that no man has shown interest. And you shouldn't say that all the ones that come around are useless and time wasters. Cause either of these things indicate a problem.
People should please stop mentioning that Amara gave a cut-off point of 30-years. Read and comprehend.
anonymous sept 26 2011 3:45pm, I applaud for being so honest and for sharing your experience. Amara is just an attention seeker who lacks tact and diplomacy. Why in the world would anyone think that marriage signifies fulfillment? I am married but I wouldn't judge anyone for not being married and as for those of you running your mouths and abusing those who are hurt and have decided to express themselves, be very careful so as not to incur the wrath of God. This article is so baseless and in my opinion, useless!
those opposing her, i applaud u, continue doing wat u doing and see if u wud get a hubby to marry u..
those opposing her, i applaud u, continue doing wat u doing and see if u wud get a hubby to marry u..
Amara, if you are married I feel so sorry for your husband. Did a single girl like offend you? Gosh you are bitter. I blame the tabloid that gave you audience. And infact Linda ikeji for giving you more audience. You are better silent pleeaaassseee. If this is a calling ask for the appointed time nag go nag train yourself. If it is a passion pls redirect your to book haram, if it is an appointment or a job pls, turn it down. Trust me, you are a tactless moron. Daft individual.
Why are people so offended by Amara's comment, what she is saying is true of women with the wrong ideas on marriage, I have met lots of girls that were behaving just like the examples she gave, and they have ended up leaping in and quickly out of marriage blaming the husband was this and that...I mean why did you not see that before huh? The others have children by different men cos they sold their asses! Others too pius but the rubbish that came out of their mouths did not match the behaviour and the list goes on. I am married and very happy do you know why? Cos I waited during that time I formed myself in the character God destined women to be in preparation for marriage...homebuilders, gentle, share the same vision with the husband, ever ready to work should financial situations should change..above all love!
Wow! I slept amd woke up and it was 1950! Aunty Amara! Hope you wrote this for the sake of writing. Hope you don't have a daughter if you truly believe this crap. So the single lady should leave her seat for you because you are married? Na wa o! I was at the gym the other day and two women were fighting and one said to her. That's why you are not married. Mrs. Has turn to one badge! For your info aunty amara most of the aristo girls I know are actually married. They got married at 22-25. Hiss*.
@September 26, 2011 8:10 AM
You got my words twisted...Beyonce for me actually is proof that you can be hardworking..successful and still be in a relationship..or closer to home..Omotola..because enuff women on here seem to be saying the reason they single is because they are Educated and Successful..and men cannot handle them or cannot lower their standards...gosh the Self-entitlement sef!!..
You need a special countenance..prayers..sacrifice.. to manage a healthy relationship/marriage..stop using random incidents to negate marriage..that's not ur portion...seek positivity even in the midst of negativity...and yes marriage can be fulflling if you go into it for the right reasons and not just about flashing your gums on Bella Naijja's Blog...or some other random vain reason
@September 26, 2011 1:57 AM....it's applies to eligible 9ja women across the board..yes some are cool..but I cannot believe those that opposed Amara cannot even admit they have friends or haven't heard/known about such girls..talk about denial!!..it's like me denying..In general 9ja men having a tendency to be abusive...nothing RIDICULOUS here..
I see a lot here cursing and abusing Amara in person..did she mentioned any names??..now that's very ladylike.....As for cheating..single or married men/women would and still cheat..but should the world stop??...people need intervention in that dept
And Pls don't even compare us to other Africans..we are very cultured people..if u not happy u can always change ur Passport/nationality..
@OKC..enjoyed that...joor..
@YOU THE FOOL...I stopped acknowledging you..and last time I checked Thread didn't say Female's only reply...I obviously stuck a very raw nerve..pe le o!!..
You so angry and emotional @me..was talking about Asian women in UK/US...
I know who u are..I would be here AGAIN!!..'cos you need a man to put the house in order...my bad..can't write short..at least I know the way to my village..
You're too High maintenance - This in my opinion is the leading cause of women getting old without getting wifed up. The truth is that most black men are very insecure with their financial status these days due to the global economic crisis and they would hesitate to approach a woman who looks like she is a manikin for Gucci or Christian Loubintin. We don't want a woman who will spend all of our life savings trying to be a fashionista but instead we want a very conservative woman who can help manage the family finances and raise our kids beyond materialism.
Your attitude stinks - Black men generally want peace at home simply because we face major bullshit everywhere else outside our home, so the last thing we need is a woman with an attitude problem. So ladies, if you are dating a man and your bad attitude comes out frequently then he is probably going to hit it and quit it asap. We want loving and caring women who have done all their soul-searching prior to meting us and not women who just seem to be mad at everything around them.
You have no Class - This is strictly from an educated and progressive black man's point of view because some dudes don't seem to care much about this especially when they have no class themselves. However, if I am worried that you will embarrass me when I take you to a function or you will make my friends laugh at me because you lack class, then i'm probably going to delete you number asap. I mean really, who wants a classless woman to begin with. So read a book or magazine and start to carry yourself in a better way.
You're too desperate - With age comes desperation for single women simply because their clock is ticking but ladies please "take a chill pill" when you meet a new guy and let things flow. Do not start discussing marriage withing two months of meeting the dude because most likely you will push him away except he is as desperate as you and that itself is a very bad thing. Take time to get to know him and learn about each other rather than planning a wedding in your head the moment you meet him. I have argued this with a few of my single 30 year old female friends and they keep telling me that it's not as easy as I think and I told them that no man wants to feel rushed into marriage of all things so even if they are justified but the man perceives it as desperation then he would bail.
You're not a HUSTLER - This is the biggest reason why most women are not married in my opinion because men don't like to talk about it much but we do think about it. Black men are lagging behind in the income department these days (actually always) so if we run into a woman who is a hustler (Lawyer, DOCTOR, business woman, pharmacist), we do the math immediately in our heads and the numbers look good so we do whatever it takes to keep that woman. Take me for instance, I earn a six figure salary and say there are two ladies, one makes $120,000 and the other is currently working as a waitress or hair dresser, who do you really think my brain will tell me to choose for marriage assuming other criteria are similar?
For more reasons why women remain single, visit my blog at http://nigerianamericanboy.blogspot.com/
I thought this article, although from an American perspective, was one relevant response to this nonsense from Amara: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/fashion/sometimes-its-not-you-or-the-math-modern-love.html?pagewanted=1&ref=general&src=me.
Sometimes, women aren't married because they simply have not met a man who is right for them. I am one. And I have many beautiful, accomplished, sweet, and godly girl friends who are also single. There is no universal law that says one must get married to suffer with a person with whom you are not compatible. There are other things in life than marriage and other relationships with family and friends to build. It would be nice to be married. I don't think there are too many women who defintely do NOT want to be married, but there is something to be said for being satisfied in the situation in which you find yourself. I'd rather be single and at peace than married and miserable. I was angry when I first read this piece, feeling that I was being accused of sins I had not committed, but ultimately, I try not to let these things said by people (both Amara and the commenters who insist that single women must have something wrong with them) who seem to not have a lot of empathy or imagination bother me.
Linda, I think this is Amara's story...
Links:
http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2010/10/27/divorce-not-the-end/
http://www.facebook.com/amarabn?ref=ts#!/amarabn?sk=info
i am a single girl and i totally agree with Amara. all of u ranting, sorry d truth is too bitter.
Amara's article portay's her as a lady who lacks grace, compassion, insight and wisdom. She appears angry, envious, proud and inexperienced. The fact that she has provoked such a negative response shows the spirit behind her is not a spirit of truth.
Her words are clearly directed at someone/some people who have hurt her but this is not the way to deal with it. My advise is for her to wait on the Lord to avenge her other than heaping coals of fire on herself. Making fun of people and their unfortunate situation leaves her vulnerable to attacks from the enemy. Pride goes before a fall.
You might be married and have it all today but who knows tomorrow? A wise woman understands that her words are powerful and the grace she shows is always remembered by the Lord. While beauty and success can fade a wise women is preserved and respected by the content of her words.
Amara [and all those who agree with her] wisdom is the key, season your words dont let anger get the better of you. Pray for those who are unmarried and lift them up. Remember we are all sinners none is perfect be you married, soon to be married, single, divorced or widowed. We are all women who face prejudice imposed by culture, religion, superstition and negative social constructions.
Marriage might be sweet today but it also has its challenges. If you sow mercy you will surely reap it in due time. But if you delight in controversy, mockery, cheap digs and insults what are you hoping to harvest.
Amara means Grace in igbo, Amarachi which I belive is your full name means The Grace of God. All our blesings[husband, children, good health, good jobs,properity] are by grace its not by power nor by might. Everything, the bible says is to chance and to Gods timing. The race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong.
It is good to be married and some people might experience delay in this area. The reasons are beyond our comprehension and we have no right to judge. We most certainly must not mock nor feal we are better than anyone. Let him without sin cast the first stone.
Without lOVE we gain nothing
Love is kind
not arrogant or rude
love does not envy
does not think evil
and is not puffed up
love forgives all things
bears, believes and hopes
love never ends
1 Corinthians 13
Common ladies: let go and let God
Love to you all
Nne
please stop this nonsense talk, she herself has even said that she has only lost extended family members and is not a widow and still has a husband!
that being said,she did come of abit too judgmental even though she has a couple of valid points
I wonder why dis person has a job as a writer in first place. That said,why did u do dis Linda? Why did u further publicise this load of crap?
Amara,Unlike u,at ur stone age and timid time,we single women above 30,no longer live in our fathers' houses. So our chances of growing old and dying there are very slim.
And anyway,I'd rather die single than marry one of the sad and insecure losers u have described in this tripe u'v written.And if u were a model for marriage,many women would choose suicide! Crazy,hypocritical,sanctimonious,sad,miserable,parochial,bitter,married bitch!
This article is a load of crap. David Odey and Babajide Kolade have no business allowing this woman to write this nonsense in PM NewsThis article is a load of crap. David Odey and Babajide Kolade have no business allowing this woman to write this nonsense in PM News
phew! boy o boy! reading all the comments made my head to spin! where do i start from biko?
firstly, i disagree with SOME of the points she raised.
secondly, Please, we should DISAGREE without INSULTS
Thirdly, from the write-up, you AMARA, painted men to be like saints, as if it's all the women's fault. Every action gets a reaction. If a man treats a woman right, she would do likewise, but if treated like crap, she would dish out same to him.
Fourthly, gone are the days when marriage was a do or die affair! when women were housewives,and the men brought the bacon home. No man was a LIABILITY for a wife! They want ASSETS, to combine with theirs to make life enjoyable and comfortable!
Fifthly, MANY marriages are endured rather than enjoyed! When we are not INSIDE, we pray and fast to be there. And when we do, we wish to be OUTSIDE! Because of the problems and stress involved. It's very FEW couples that enjoy their marriage, even with that, they sometimes regret it!
Amara, means GRACE and you are a widow right? Please can you tell us WHY and HOW you arrived at this conclusions? It MIGHT help US to understand the angle you are coming from? PLEASE DON'T SPEAK AS AN ANONYMOUS as you had been doing in your replies (i know). Thank you.
This article is a load of crap. David Odey and Babajide Kolade have no business allowing this woman to write this nonsense in PM News
The truth hurts like a bad tooth...change ya ways!! All ye jumping-from-one-man-to-another-ass-shaking-boobs popin-out-of your-dress-...lol sucks to be a lady.
Memo to Amala, sorry Amara;
Reasons you are a widow; God took away your husband because you were a blur to him and he wantd to punish you.
Reasons you are STILL a widow; because you are a pretentious moron who claims to be celibate yet you work for a newspaper owned by Bola Tinubu. How are you keeping your job there? If he's not poked you, his boys have poked you.
Amara is an educated illiterate and has a high level of inferiority complex.
The most important thing is to know where u are affected by this massage. Most ladies don't care about the personality of their siutor, thier interst is; is the guy loaded. You can say all you want as regards the concept, that being married is not a yard-stick for measuring success, but in our value system(Nigeria), marriage is surely a yards-tick. though she seems judgemental, when u critisize, don't be narrow minded. she has a point.
Ade .
Let me give u my personal experience about some our girls out there.
I met a girl and I really like her so much I wanted to date her and she accepted my proposal.
Could u believe that the first visit this girl paid me actually ended our relationship, as my how?
She came to my office and gave me a bill of N10, 000 as her transportation bill, she chartered a taxi from VI down to Ikeja that will take her thro fro and that was all. Now tell me how do I cope with such girl and this is the same person telling me her past experience that she was dumped by her fiancé cos of too much expenses he has been caring on her.
So AMARA true talk dey very hard to digest sometimes most of these our so called bigs girls need to rethink.
Thanks Amara for zeroing in on Naija ladies problem....Attitude!!!!!
For all those ranting, am sure the article hit too close to home....
Not all she said is true but at least she hit the nail finally.
Wow, have people really resorted to insulting people's mothers on this issue??? Come on ladies, this is just ONE person's opinion, and it is very likely that Amara's husband cheated on her with a very attractive, very successful single lady with a fabulous car, which is why she is so bitter! She has actually disproved her own point because it is obvious that even married woman have bad attitudes and a nasty character! Her words should actually be targeted at ALL women who want favour in life, not just single women, in my opinion, that's where she went wrong! Being married isn't the most important thing a woman can achieve, and the sooner we Nigerian women accept this, the sooner married women will stop staying in miserable marriages where they are so unhappy with their often gay, wife beating, cheating, unloving, broke husbands! I know too many married women in this situation and I have turned down 2 marriage proposals because I do not believe I should have to settle for any man, just for the sake of being married!
it's amazing how some people are sooo narrow minded and judge from there own limited exposure and experience. Have u heard of ladies who have dated for 8years and been jilted at the tail end of the relationship? if such a lady is skeptical about trusting another man and marries late...is she wayward? why should a hardworking woman not be allowed to enjoy the benefits of her labour...simply bcos she wants to please the society. I can bet u're a girl brought up in the village and bestowed to some nna bros...u dust the chair and wash dishes and he hands you stipends to keep up. There are a lot of miserable married woman....better to marry late and last forever, than marry early and be miserable or hop out just when it's getting started. Broaden your mind. If Jesus is judgemental, he's have cast a stone at may magdalene. Christianity is not about pointing fingers but about putting urself in those shoes and helping others to rise. Its not a crime to be single and even the Bible acknowledges that not everyone would be married. This is such a silly write up...it lacks depth.
My comment would probably already have been voiced out by others, Sadly we still think a man/woman has to be married to be fulfilled. I dont have statistics but Nigeria may very well have a very low divorce rate but potentially the country with the unhappiest married people staying together for reasons like this. While you actually make some valid points,permit m eto call you a very shallow woman,reeking of low self esteem but I am happy you got married as that is the apex of your life.I really hope you didnt attend a ny institution of higher learning as that would be a shame and waste of your parents money.............wait, maybe not.The probabaly sent you there to get a husband.
Ummmmm, how about the fact that it is quite impossible for every woman to get married due to the male to female ratio. There are more women than men on this planet so i don't think any woman who hasn't been asked by 30 should despair. It would have been better if you had just advised single girls to check their attitude/behaviour and simply ask God to reveal whether it is his plan for them to marry or not. no one knows what God has planned for them, marriage might just not be on the cards!
well i agree with Amara, she talks of two kinds of women, the good ones that are devoted christians but have really terrible attitude and the wayward girls that dont have any atom of remorse from living their lives they way they do.
Dont cast a stone if u know u are guilty of one sin or the other. everything you have or achieved in life is by God's special grace not by your work of righteousness lest any man should boast. if one marries before 30, it is God's grace and if not after 30, it is not b/c of one's sin. God allows his sun to shine upon the just and unjust likewise his rain.
If God should come down and judge Amara, writer" do you think u will appear perfect and sinless before him.
Encourage the singles a little,pray for the waywards ones, that Christ will touch and change their life.
Thou shall not be too judgemental, leave it for God.
SHAKARA you MUST be an idiot! does God punish?if you believe so then you sadly don't know much about our Savior.Amara is not even a widow
You and amara r no different, both rude and ignorant
YOU KNOW, I FIND IT AMAZING HOW AMARA AND HER "FOLLOWERS" HAVE COME HERE TO DENY HER WIDOWHOOD. AMARA IS A WIDOW AND USED HER OWN MOUTH TO TELL HER AUDIENCE THAT HER INLAWS KICKED HER OUT OF HER LATE HUSBAND'S HOUSE! SOMEONE HERE EVEN SAID THAT AMARA'S CURRENT STATUS ON FACEBOOK ABI TWITTER SAYS "ENGAGED". SO IF AMARA IS ALREAD MARRIED LIKE SOME OF YOU ARE TRYING TO MAKE US BELIEVE, WHY DOES HER STATUS SAY "ENGAGED"? OR DID SHE FORNICATE AND HAVE CHILDREN FOR HER CURRENT FIANCE THAT SHE IS ABOUT TO GET MARRIED TO?
MANY OF US READ WHERE AMARA USED HER MOUTH TO SAY SHIT ABOUT HER INLAWS BECAUSE THEY KICKED HER OUT OF HER HUSBAND'S HOUSE. SO, IF THE HUSBAND IS STILL ALIVE, WHY WOULD HE SIT THERE AND WATCH HIS PARENTS KICK HIS WIFE AND THE MOTHER OF HIS KIDS OUT OF THEIR MATRIMONIAL HOME HUH?
SOME NIGERIANS CAN BE SUCH PATHETIC LIARS!YOU THINK EVERYONE WHO VISITS THIS BLOG IS STUPID / ILLITERATE.
Oookay. Is she saying i shouldn't be successful because i wanna get married? Any man intimidated by a woman's success is not a man.
She said something about the fact that if you are 30 and you are not married, there is something wrong with you; that is rubbish and bull shit. Everyone is different, not everyone has to get married before they clock 30. God's plan for everyone is different.
Most married people are not even happy in their homes. Mscheeww.
If you are a baaaad runs girl, one day you go wrinkle tire, begin find solace in something because wrinkles no dey sell. - and to think the risks you are taking....scary!!!!!!!!!
A home is a home is a home. A house is a house is a bunk and empty(even with all gadgets) without love.
Emphasis should be on creating a family unit that works for you and gives glory to God, and a blessing to others.
Runs girls = Open ya eyes, there are scales deceiving you with the neon lights and easy money. They no dey last.
Single babes with no connection to runs,or delivered from anything unpleasant, God no need help to command blessings, just connect to Him and He alone will shine the light on anything He wants corrected for you to enter the covenant family bliss.
The one thing one man hates in a woman, another man is dying for. Some girls are such a bore in themselves, by themselves, with other people, with their husbands, but their husbands/men seriously love them that way.
Others are freakinlgy loud and all over the place and their men will die for them and will get worried when they become too quiet.
Some successful men don't like successful women, some successful men want only successful women; success in all ramifications. They are confident their wives are not after their pockets and the respect level na die.
You only need ONE man to gree your own, only one, in the right circumstances, right environment, right networking, right connection.
If you discover your own and vice versa, you enjoy bliss.
Bottom line is wisdom. Not condemnation. Sit down and do some serious thinking and restrategize your life. If you are in a location and 'nothing' is happening seek, ask, pray and you will be redirected. Dont be greedy. Greed or any sort is the way to singleness and loneliness and frustration.
Also there are single women who are so happy beyond words, the confident, focused, selfless, Holy Ghost filled, I called them single with a purpose.
They do not need articles to define them. They know where they are coming from, where they are going and how to get there and totally enjoying the journey!!!
Jesus is Lord!
amara is not a widow joh! when did she ever say that?!
It really makes me sad, just how stupid some Nigerian, especially females can be nowadays. Did Amara tag you in the original post?
How difficult is it to take what is relevant from Amara's comments and leave what you don't agree with to the side.Why are you killing yourself because you are still single? I TIRE!
That is the very reason some of you sad people commenting are still single and will grow old in your parents house. Who wants to marry a lioness?
So rude! No home training at all. I just thank God that I was raised well ( although good looks help :-) ) anyways it is such a shame to read all these silly comments, Amara is this! Amara is that! Abeg!! lemme hear word! Biko
Only a stupid girl would date for 8 years with marriage plans, as for all you broken hearts, it is your fault!
You did not consult God and pray before you entered that relationship, when he cheated and it didn't work you now want to say it is no fault of yours, blah blah blah.
If your still single in 2014 don't say I never talk o!
Ladies go somewhere quiet and do some soul searching. Get rid of your stupid friend who is talking all that independent, I don't need a man crap in your ear.
Also those dating married men are hell bound in a big way and are pathetic, and as for anonymous poster regretting marrying the father of her 3 kids and wishing she had kids for her ex instead...you are VERY stupid! don't let your kids catch you there. Nonsense!
Go and ask God for forgiveness, you are suffering from lust and pervertion. What rubbish! Someone even lied to you and said you are brave. Mchewwww
God help us in this end times!
It is well for classy Proverb 31 babes! Yes ooOO
Oh!!!!! So many bitter Women out there!
The truth is very bitter.
The writer was just talking about character and you see people using abusive words-this only validates what the writer was talking about.
I weep for my own generation because many people have the outer/facial beauty but the lack the inner beauty(Godly/personality)
Ladies, if you think this is wrong, let *serious* single men give their breakdown about you and you will know why they haven’t proposed to you yet. (Serious single men i say bcos i know there are so many that are not serious)
Only fools don't take corrections. A knowledgeable person will digest, take the good aspect and leave the rest.
It is so sad that even in the church, some of the ladies are something else. I am ready to settle down but their character is a turn off
The bible supports this by saying
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. Proverbs 21:9
Ecclesiastes 7:28 Which yet my soul seeketh, but I find not: one man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found.
I came across this,please see
http://www.naijapals.com/modules/naijapals/nigeria/topic,62554.0-.html
My Research
Why cant the ladies argue their points out without using abusive words and insults?
90% of the comments from ladies are abusive. This is the character we are talking about. What more do we need to argue bout Amara's post?
God must help the men of this generation
It’s me again;
From that comment you are AmaLA herself. You are now denying your widowhood? Why, because Bola Tinubu has filled you with his spunk. Go to hell AmaLA Blessing Nwosu (child of OSU that you are.) You obviously don’t have the guts to write here in your name.
What happened to Sodom and Gomorrah? What happened to Job, to Samson? Oh, God does not punish.
From the way you write in PM News, it shows you are a religious neophyte.
If not for the sex you are giving your employers, you will never hold a job anywhere. Bloody ignoramus!
I implore everyone here to read PM News (online or hard copy) to read the drivel this bitch, moron, smegger and bipolar ignoramus writes in that paper. You need to take some downers to make you normal.
You brought this on yourself. Go back and read your articles then you will know you are also suffering from cognitive bias.
First, every human is entitled to his or her opinion but not entitle to forcing down that opinion on others. Amara has simply stated her opinion. I don't agree with anything she has written but still
I need her to explain why i can not ask a married woman who took my seat to stand cos she is seated by her husband. Good manners dictate that the men stand while the women remain seated.
I am a single lady in my late twenties. I was brought up in a christian home. I have my own weaknesses, but telling a lie is quite difficult for me, and i hardly ever do that...This is because i have the fear of God (thanks to my Mum/upbringing in sunday school). I have a good job, i am ambitious, not materialistic, far from it. I love bags, perfumes, shoes etc. I'm fashionable, not extreme, but decently so. I am also very smart- a strategist. I take it really personal that the 'reasons' why i may not be married has 'assumed' that im 'indecent'. Amara, nice write-up, but highly judgemental nd uninformed!!! I would NOT let life pass me by, while waiting for a 'man' to choose me. HELL NO! (Excuse my french). I will NOT take 'public' transport or NOT buy me the new hyundai accent (which i love by the way) because some 'guy' might be complexed!!! I have a lot to offer too...if a man cannot see beyond my heels, bags and nic hairdo, then he is not WORTHY to be mine.... I am sick and tired of this conclusion people make about 'Single, Successful' ladies. By the way, statistically, there are more ladies than there are men, and half of these men are UNSERIOUS...why isnt that stated as a probable cause for 'singledom'? Please get your facts right before you 'Condemn'!!!
ok as ridiculous as this lady's article was, the comments here are even more shocking.
Like i understand she was condescending in her approach and all but seriously, why all the insults???
People are laying curses on her, cursing her mother and what have you.
Is it really that serious?
wow! She must have really pushed some buttons.
So much hostility for no reason.
this piece of work is so unprofessional and full of crap. a good critical written must stand in the middle of an argument and nt sideline it.
The BITTER / HARSH truth.
I'm sure amara...ur husband is one of those irresponsible useless cheats and you are looking for an avenue to vent your anger on single ladies. You would be correct if you had written some ladies and not for you to say any woman who is not married at 30. Can you beat your chest to it amara that you have a perfect home!!! Can you beat your chest to it your husband doesn't abuse you!!! In as much as we have some irresponsible singles, it is very senseless for you to generalise everybody. Wait until you are out of your marriage or your husband marries anoda woman, then your perception would change and you too would be labelled a woman that cannot keep her home.its not every 30 year old woman's wish to be single but its not for you to judge
I'm sorry Linda but there is nothing ridiculous about what Amara has written. She is 110% on point. Amara carry go. Linda i'm beginning 2 suspect u. Ol boy see comments. U go fear now.
bunch of silly women insulting d writer YET SOME OF YOU ARE STILL DISTRIBUTING YOUR PUSSY FOR BLACKBERRY,MALAYSIAN HAIR, DESIGNER BAG AND SHOES THAT YA PAPA NEVER FIT AFFORD. UPON ALL THESE YOU STILL WANT HUSBAND? HAHHAHAH I LAFF @ U! as long as keep distributing easily we men won't take u serious...well not beyond our bedroom
bitter, but the hardcore truth, if you are a single lady and you still don't see sense in atleast 60% of thiss write-up, then i believe you are one of those she was referring to in this article. The truth they say is bitter.#nuffsaid
The post is so dumb, is she a graduate or what? her thinking level is so low and she's making no sense, please Linda post better post for us, this lady should go learn how to be civilized, she doesn't even understand single people and married issues, she's so dumb.
The post is so dumb, is she a graduate or what? her thinking level is so low and she's making no sense, please Linda post better post for us, this lady should go learn how to be civilized, she doesn't even understand single people and married issues, she's so dumb.
Abeg please read Ndidi write up: AGAINST THE TIDE: From Miss to Madam on 234next may 31, 2011. Correct
Women are important members of the Nigerian society. Not only do we constitute 50 per cent of the population, but we are grandmothers, mothers, mothers-in-law, sisters, aunties, girlfriends, co-workers, managers, CEOs, etc. In spite of our many talents, skills and qualifications and the personal contributions that we make to society, we do not seem to receive the respect that we deserve in all phases of our lives.
Sadly, there is a serious stigma associated with the ‘Ms.' or ‘Miss' phase. A large segment of our population considers a woman who remains a Miss, in spite of her numerous accomplishments and contributions, as a failure. As she climbs the corporate ladder and acquires possessions, she is often disrespected by both men and women alike, who assume, often erroneously, that her progress is being fuelled by a sugar daddy. Her married friends are often wary about inviting her to their homes and her neighbours watch her like hawks. Her family members hold meetings and prayer sessions on her behalf and her faith-based organizations hold seminars and outreach services to "arrest" any "spiritual" barriers that have kept her in this phase. This intense societal pressure compels so many young women to rush into unsuitable unions and to stay in bad marriages even when they are abused physically and emotionally. It also pushes divorced or widowed women to retain their married names, simply to gain some level of respect from the society.
The ‘Mrs' phase, while it garners a little more respect than the ‘Miss' phase, comes with its own issues. Immediately after the ‘Mrs' is earned, there is immense pressure to deliver on the package that many believe completes women - children! At work and in social functions, the questions flow: "How is Oga?" "What about the children?" At the ninth month mark, the prayer sessions and family meetings begin once again. As one man once told me, "A woman with no children is like a withered tree, with no fruit." No one even imagines that the man could be the one with the reproductive issues or that the couple could voluntarily choose not to bear biological children, and to adopt the many orphans in our society. For some ethnic groups, ‘Mrs' women with no sons are ridiculed and risk losing their inheritance without a male heir. This pressure pushes women to have multiple births in quick succession in search of that male heir, despite the health risks.
The "Mama Emeka", "Mama Ade" or "Mama Ibrahim" phase definitely garners more respect than the Miss or Mrs phase. However, it comes with its own burdens and expectations. Very quickly, the societal pressure that was limited to the Mrs suddenly extends to her children, and she begins to be defined by them and their level of success: the name and the value of the schools that they attend, their performance in school, the size of their birthday parties - and the amount of money spent on those party packs - their professions, who they marry and the size of their weddings, and then how quickly they make the "mama" a "grandma" (hence the viscous cycle of the family meetings and prayer sessions)!
Abeg please read Ndidi write up: AGAINST THE TIDE: From Miss to Madam on 234next may 31, 2011. Correct person....continuation
Of all the phases, the ‘Madam' phase clearly is the prize! A ‘madam' either has the cash or the power to command respect. Interestingly, the madam status elevates women above societal expectations regarding marriage and children. Most people do not actually know if the madam is married, how many times she has been married, or how many children she has. She is above all of that! She stands shoulder to shoulder with her male counterparts - the Chiefs, Ogas and the Otunbas. A ‘madam' is that woman that everyone stands up to greet when she walks into the room. She commands respect by the way she carries herself, her clothing, jewellery, heavy head-tie, and slew of handlers. Clearly, the madam classification is reserved for a select few, is hard to achieve and difficult to sustain. However, madams face their own set of pressures - as they strive to sustain a certain lifestyle and to provide for their many dependents.
Of course, these stereotypes do not apply to all women, and are not unique to the Nigerian society. However, what saddens me about our context is the amount of pain that women who should be enjoying full and meaning lives in our society, carry around simply because of the societal pressures that they face. This pressure drains them of their best years, diminishes their self esteem, and invariably hurts us collectively.
It takes years to change culture, but I would challenge men and women alike to grow to respect women in all phases of our lives, as we straddle the continuum from Miss to Mrs to Mama and then to Madam.
It's really funny reading the Amara's note and people's comments.
Firstly, her story has some truth to it but a lot of loop holes in it that she didn't address properly. Better yet, she should have done her research before making a general statement that people single and not married are the cause.
Secondly, not all single ladies have these characteristics you and the others that applaud your note agree on.
• Did you ever wonder that maybe they just haven’t met the right person?
• Did you ever reason there are some ladies that are very simple, they don’t ask for much, they work, care, and want to settle down but haven’t met the person for them?
• Did you research and discuss with some are single to find out what the problem is?
• Did you find out if some prefer RUNS or actually want a home and family?
• Or they put there career first and cry foul later?
So I don’t understand why you and certain people believe that everyone is the same. No 2 people are the same even twins disagree on things; so therefore your experience before and after you got married can never be a match with everyone.
Some people have it easy they meet the one guy, and get married; while others have to go through different situations before they meet their match.
Thirdly, one thing I believe in life is that every experience we go through we learn a lesson. So a lady not married at age 30 or 40 doesn’t have to be something spiritual …’isn’t it a MAN that proposes to a WOMAN in Nigeria and other parts of the world”? If we had other country’s culture where a woman will propose am sure this article will be different. I know someone that nags like fire burning through a maize farm guess what she is 31 and person see am say en go MARRY am….there is no spiritual problem, and if there is prayers and faith will bright light and favor to the person. It is also God’s timing and the individual doing there own part.
Also someone mentioned Rebranding; I agree this is only occurs to people that realize that they need to change for their own good not for anyone. Because when you change for someone I believe you are PRETENDING.
Rebrand which ever way it works for anyone; sit down AND think what I have been doing wrong; then find your solution.
Fourthly, I know there are girls out there on serious HIGH MAINTANCE, RUNS, SUGAR DADDY, OR ONLY MARRIED MEN stuff, and feel they must get the best. If ur referring to those then advice them, but don’ take it out on others that actually do sincere jobs to pay there bills, rent, etc and you judge them. For instance; your friend that you introduced to a male friend of yours, did you ever think that maybe this dude isn’t a serious candidate? To complain of how much your friend makes, except if she fits into the category you listed in your article. When she is ready to mellow down she go meet her match. If you feel she is making too much money then help her pay some bills since you and Mother Teresa don sign contract.
Fifthly, a lot of you on this blog are saying truth is bitter; yes it is I LOVE to hear the truth. I rather hear it and make the necessary adjustments to better myself; but it only annoying and false to make a general statement towards other single ladies. Remember those that are supporting and insulting single ladies that are actually praying and looking to meet that person God has for them; YOU WERE ONCE SINGLE…..u know what you did and didn’t do to get where you are, so be careful how you address issues like this because you will have daughters or grand-daughters one-day and will pray and fast for them to get married too……
All this rubish about a lady who is up to 30yrs and single is an idea of smbody talking out of her own experience, b/cos if she did'nt experience the frustration herself she wouldn't have said that, knowing that character or not man will still be who there ought to be especially here in Nigeria.I am surprise that a woman would be so insensitive and ridicolous, forgetting about the spiritual aspect of the problems some ladies are facing, are u helping them, growing their spiritual life or u're helping to pull them down remember God will be very angry with u my dear b/cos u're a squasher in their and not a buster.
I can't be perturbed by Amara's piece o; she is apparently referring to someone out there whom she sounds like she knows but I don't know. Most of our comments are so angry tho. I certainly do not subscribe to all that name calling and stuff cos she must have seen the need to address certain issues around her. Some of what she said have been so twisted here...it's crazy. Easy, people! Example, she didn't say if u r not married by 30 something's wrong! Read d the piece again.
And you, Amara, the next time you wish to put a piece like this together, no matter where your inspiration is coming from, understand that it is entirely your opinion and that it may not be the case with everyone who's going to read it. I commend you tho, the effort and all. It really would touch someone's life. I loved the part about character, really. But you wrote this so poorly and it's terribly subjective that it just makes such a poor read, from the title to the gist. Seriously, improve your writing, and be sure of ur message; take into consideration the emotions it will evoke and ur audience! Haba!
And Linda, how will you even allow something this poorly written and utterly subjective addressed to all of us single women in Nigeria be found on this blog of yours then you turn around and say it is a tad ridiculous? You certainly are ridiculous too, dear!
smdh! my mum & articles like Amara's are part of the reasons why i'v made up ma mind to get married to 'any available' but handsome man before 30 by fire or by might, have two lovely kids, get a divorce and continue to forge ahead with ma career until i get to the top whr i wanna be. :D
Somebody! plz! seize her writing license!!!
Absolutely ridiculous. I weep for Nigeria if people still reason this way in the 21st century. I hope the writer isn't allowed to breed and reproduce dumb people like herself!
i agree she was a little harsh,though there are some truths in what she said. however,its unfair to be harsh on her as everyone is entitled to their opinion.
of course it had to be an "Amara" that wrote this piece of crap! A yoruba girl would never write something this ignorant!
I smell frustration here. The truth is that most of our ladies want to get married, yet they are not ready to become mothers.
I'm sorry I couldnt read the entire posts.They were too many.This article simply puts across what the late Bimbo Odukoya tried to teach single women.Obviously there are exceptions but in general she is speaking the truth.So as adults, we should acknowledge what is true and take corrective action.And ignore that which does not pertain to our situation.
But from the number of enraged and infuriated posters ,I believe she is exposing some painful facts.
Why everybody dey vibrate??????!!!!!!!!!!!
Abi wetin the girl talk na true?
Hi linda, am Mr. Sacred Heart from Nigeria. i think you are so right. seems you shook the tree and all the guilty bitches (never thought they'll be a day i'd call a woman that)are falling off.
"How dare you say hi if you are not so rich."
Well, they'll get what they deserve, they wont get married, even if they eventually do they'll still be searching, quite naturally.
Amara How much did you cost? How much did ur husband pay for you?
Nonsense!
oh ok after reading this woman's article I found it necessary to do some digging. I mean why else would an individual with atrocious writing skill be freelancing for a magazine.
You would think someone who was forced into marriage at the age of seventeen and was terribly abused for fourteen years would have a different outlook on marriage! and that marriage is not the end point for all women, especially since she is divorced herself. I read a bunch of her articles ....huhn! is all I can say, (I mean who writes this crap) Its all just stupid hypocrisy. Her website: http://www.amarablessing.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1&Itemid=2
Amara dear, just walk up to her n give her a piece of ur mind. Better still, go for anger mangement. Afterwards, write ur piece again n c hw wonderful it'll sound n hw pple might embrace it. For nw, ur anger has clouded ur judgement soo much dat instead of getting pple to think, its throwing dem off. If i commented wit my innitial irritation, i'd have said hw foolish i tot u sounded. I am not close to thirty, yet if by 30 i haven't found a man hu will b a MAN n treat me right, i'll wait. The race is not 4 d swift my dear.
Well said Sister, at last the truth is out there! The articule is an eye opener
http://singlesandmarriedlife.com
both single and married ladies no one is perfect and amara people are different becos it didnt work for you at 17 doesnt mean it didnt work for my aunt and sum ladies meet mr right at 30 we cnt all be as holy as u claim to be. u sayin the truth but next time write like one with conscience and not one sick fraustrated bitch who got tired of bin dumped n becos she met a man by chance who took her in she now condemns others... and one advice u have got attitude problem ursef it shows from ur write up so work on ursef...and dont forget our GOD condemns no one so dont hide under him until u imitate him. bye
There something i so hate about you,its your ability to channel peoples thoughts in-line with yours.
when you hear simple truth,pls humble yourself and accept it.Gosh! this surulere girl sef.
Most people here just comment according to your opinion...weak brains
She is not demonizing single women. She is only saying that some of them do certain things that keep good men off... D others?? It's just a matter of time
Spot on Anonymous!
The tin try m oooo" panking food and dancing" it so ovecious dat her had someone in mind. May God help us
Word!!! True talk
Well said Mrs o married.
This woman expects a single woman's life to be at stand still bcos she's not yet married.
As much as one needs to have a good character and all, it doesn't guarantee marriage n certainly not at 30.
Single and married ladies shd n must continue to develop themselves spiritually, mentally and career wise (business wise).
They need to be happy and be fulfilled as a human b4 joining themselves to a man. Then they can go into d marriage to add value.
Even in Proverbs, the virtuous woman wud go out and trade n bring home value.
Pls single ladies above 30 out there don't listen to this weak message from Amaka. It is one sided, incomplete and full human fallacies.
Wow! This lady must be very sad and angry! Eeyah! Will be unbearable to be around such a person!
Okay now I have to comment, this isn't how a christian should write to encourage people, no matter how that person is. Linda you said she was in an abusive marriage, what if one judged her, that may be it was her big mouth that made her to be abused by her hubby. definitely she would feel bad, am a married woman but being single is not just bout one being a whore, or attitude n all but its about when God says its time. A christian doesn't talk like this, I believe in telling the truth, but this sounds like shes talking about people she had encounter with in her previous marriage or her hubby had encounter with. God help us all...
I am married with 2 kids anad I have to say this Amara is totally wrong..absolutely,totally and 100 pecent wrong. In fact,guys prefer girls who are comfortable these days cos even the guys do not want to suffer. There are no hard and fast rules to marriage .It happens quickly for some and doesnt happen for others,its pure luck. Also,its better to be single than to be in a bad marriage besides marriage isnt the purpose of life or living for ladies.
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