It's a very sensitive issue and something a lot of us women can learn from. It's about Lola Omotayo and Peter Okoye of P-SQUARE.
Y'all know they had a baby together recently and there's been a lot of talk on the side and in the media about them having a baby out of wedluck.
In City People this week, Peter granted an interview talking about his joy as a father and his intentions towards lola, his baby mama.
Excerpt...
For those that thought it wasn't right and those that were disappointed, what was your comment?
Peter "I have heard series of things and people didn't want to come out straight to say anything. The good thing is that they were never against me going out with Lola. Most people were thinking the whole thing will disrupt my career and all that. That was what everyone was concerned about.
In your perception, how do you think being a father will affect your career?
Peter "I was thinking it was going to affect my career, but now, within a short period of time, I don't think it will affect me. I can take care of my child"
At Lola's age, her family would have expected that she gets married before she gives birth
Peter "Age is just a number. I'm happy her parents are very understanding people and likewise my parents.
Will you two someday get married?
Peter "No one has talked about that. People actually thought that I am married but I'm not married. Everyone knows I'm single but the fact is that if God permits, fine. I think children are blessings from God."
Now that she has a child for you, do you want to marry this woman?
Peter "One way or the other everyone is going to get married one day. Even when you meet a girl today as a girlfriend, you can imagining her as a wife, so we all have that in mind. My time would always come"
Here's what Paul had to say...
In City People this week, Peter granted an interview talking about his joy as a father and his intentions towards lola, his baby mama.
Excerpt...
For those that thought it wasn't right and those that were disappointed, what was your comment?
Peter "I have heard series of things and people didn't want to come out straight to say anything. The good thing is that they were never against me going out with Lola. Most people were thinking the whole thing will disrupt my career and all that. That was what everyone was concerned about.
In your perception, how do you think being a father will affect your career?
Peter "I was thinking it was going to affect my career, but now, within a short period of time, I don't think it will affect me. I can take care of my child"
At Lola's age, her family would have expected that she gets married before she gives birth
Peter "Age is just a number. I'm happy her parents are very understanding people and likewise my parents.
Will you two someday get married?
Peter "No one has talked about that. People actually thought that I am married but I'm not married. Everyone knows I'm single but the fact is that if God permits, fine. I think children are blessings from God."
Now that she has a child for you, do you want to marry this woman?
Peter "One way or the other everyone is going to get married one day. Even when you meet a girl today as a girlfriend, you can imagining her as a wife, so we all have that in mind. My time would always come"
Here's what Paul had to say...
Are you looking forward to doing something like this?
Paul "It's a great thing but it has to be done the proper way. The right way. For me, my own plan will have to wait till I get married"
Do you think that Peter having a baby will affect the group in any way?
Paul "Well, I don't think it would affect the group at all because it's not as if P-SQUARE said if we get married, we wold quit music. Music is just there, it's not like if you have a child, you can't contest or anything. It will not affect except Peter allows it. Like when we have concerts and Peter starts thinking that today is my son's birthday and all that but that can't happen"
Do you think that in the nearest future, Peter would marry Lola?
Paul "I think when the relationship started but now, I don't think so. That's what I feel"
So here's what I want us to discuss as mature women. If you're 35years old and you've been in a relationship with a man for 4 years... and you start to realise he's not thinking seriously about settling down, what would you do?
Bear in mind that you are:
A. Successful, so you can take care of a child
B. 35 years old
C. Been with this man for 4 years
D. He's not trying to break up with you...just ain't ready to commit
E. Starting all over again isn't easy...especially at that age.
No woman really wants to have a child out of wedluck (I stand to be corrected)...but like they say, shit happens.
So if you find yourself in this situation, would you end the relationship or do what Lola Omotayo did, get pregnant and have a baby?
I'm asking this 'cos I have an aunt who's 37 years old and has been dating same guy for 8 years now...no talk of marriage from him and I'm thinking maybe she should just have a baby and Fuuk marriage?
What do you guys think?
62 comments:
Na by force for marry? Lola herself, has she said she would like to marry Peter? Some people are just not into it (myself for one, and yes, I am female). Let them be. Do not cry more than the bereaved.
well u've said ur part. and d twins have said their own part & i wld want 2 believe dat it's best to listen 2 d twins. they must have talked about the same issue just like u did with your siblings. you know.. that family thing..
All n all. lola is mature, she knows what she's getting into. when she started the relationship, it was also discussed on your blog and some individuals actually had an exchange of words in regards to the whole issue. lola has chosen her path and so have a countless number of over 30 in terms of age, naija chicks, big babes and girls, even younger. its best to rest the case, i wld suggest, not a personal attack on you Linda, just a suggestion.
they are in the public, yes, and they are very much aware and in tune with what they are getting into and doing.
More to them and cheers to ya
well u've said ur part. and d twins have said their own part & i wld want 2 believe dat it's best to listen 2 d twins. they must have talked about the same issue just like u did with your siblings. you know.. that family thing..
All n all. lola is mature, she knows what she's getting into. when she started the relationship, it was also discussed on your blog and some individuals actually had an exchange of words in regards to the whole issue. lola has chosen her path and so have a countless number of over 30 in terms of age, naija chicks, big babes and girls, even younger. its best to rest the case, i wld suggest, not a personal attack on you Linda, just a suggestion.
they are in the public, yes, and they are very much aware and in tune with what they are getting into and doing.
More to them and cheers to ya
well u've said ur part. and d twins have said their own part & i wld want 2 believe dat it's best to listen 2 d twins. they must have talked about the same issue just like u did with your siblings. you know.. that family thing..
All n all. lola is mature, she knows what she's getting into. when she started the relationship, it was also discussed on your blog and some individuals actually had an exchange of words in regards to the whole issue. lola has chosen her path and so have a countless number of over 30 in terms of age, naija chicks, big babes and girls, even younger. its best to rest the case, i wld suggest, not a personal attack on you Linda, just a suggestion.
they are in the public, yes, and they are very much aware and in tune with what they are getting into and doing.
More to them and cheers to ya
well u've said ur part. and d twins have said their own part & i wld want 2 believe dat it's best to listen 2 d twins. they must have talked about the same issue just like u did with your siblings. you know.. that family thing..
All n all. lola is mature, she knows what she's getting into. when she started the relationship, it was also discussed on your blog and some individuals actually had an exchange of words in regards to the whole issue. lola has chosen her path and so have a countless number of over 30 in terms of age, naija chicks, big babes and girls, even younger. its best to rest the case, i wld suggest, not a personal attack on you Linda, just a suggestion.
they are in the public, yes, and they are very much aware and in tune with what they are getting into and doing.
More to them and cheers to ya
Lola knows what she is getting her self into. I dont really believe in kids before or after marriage as long as both parties have an understanding. Others comments are irrelevant because they are not in the relationship it easier to judge. And to Peter let PRIVATE AFFAIR be PRIVATE. Mother and child needs love now not silly comments from you lot.
why are we even talking about this...i believe Lola is fine..maybe all she wants is a child and she got it..u cannot compare these days to back in the day when a woman sits at home and a man come finds her. the competition out there is too much..so if any woman finds herself in this position..have ur child and take care of him/her...time waits for no one...!
Hi again Linda,
Your posts have been really interesting these past few days...much kudos...
On LM & P, I feel Paul was somewhat insensitive to her feelings in his comments, because she after all just had a child for him and ANY woman will feel bad if your man says he is not seriously considering marriage with you after four years, and then she just had a kid for him...that must sting quite a bit. I don't care how she might try to sugar coat it and say she is OK with that. I had a friend in a similar situation (sans the child) and she realized she had to let him go (she was 28)and move on. She is 35 with a kid, there are many pros and cons to her deciding to leave him, and that's up to her. For him to say that in the beginning marriage might have been an option and is no longer an option now is kinda cruel...don't crucify me here, I know he is just being honest, but a little tact wouldn't hurt. Since he is still in his 20's, she can hold on and hope it works and when he gets older, he would re-consider marrying her. However, if her goal is not marriage and she is comfy with the relationship the way it is and doesn't expect marriage, then they should do just fine, but Naija mentality is that if a woman has a child for a man, he should do the right thing and get married, but I guess he is thinking like foreigners do (having a child for a man is no guarantee of marriage)
Hey...at the end of the day, it boils down to whatever works for them and if this is it, then so be it.
des boys called psquare need someone 2 teach them hw 2 talk n public.
When Lola comes here to seek advise or to complain that she is not happy , then i can yann.
In the meantime i'll assume she's happy!! afterall the chic's successful, mad pretty, just had healthy baby, has boyfriend that loves her ( abi did paul, peter or Lola state otherwise?)and financially stable so i shall save my tory for those that need it...
Lola, congrats jo!!! i bet as im here writing away ,discussing ur matter and drinking panadol for headache u dont have, U and Peter are in each others arms admiring ur baby.....aye!!
Well,for me its not a big deal and exactly wat i would do!!
I would love to get married and have a child someday but if part 1 isnt possible,part2 is totally in my hands so y not?who else would be best to do it wit if not someone i at least like,i shall ensure he's cute as well so my kid would be fine!no issue at all here
Tell your aunt to move on. She can't afford to waste her precious years on someone that can't make up his mind. Unless, she is not interested in marrying.
As for Lola and Peter, if this presure keeps up, then he will definitly not marry her. At least to show thta her can't be presured into marrying except on his terms. She should also listen to what his brother is saying. He know Peter better than any other person.
Nawa for Paul, he doesn't think his brother is going to marry Lola. I feel so sorry for Lola. She tries to make the world think that she's ok not being married. Who's she kidding? It's Nigeria she's living in and we all know that her biological clock is ticking like crazy.
Old Lola has seen a fine boy to tie herself to.What has she been doing when her mates got married and had children?
Any way sha! I wish them well.Baby Mommas are the order of the day.I hate it...too many of such women in lagos,running after younger men when their biological clocks starts ticking.
Linda paste my post o! I believe your blog is done or written democratically.
Linda going by the interview you had with lola a few months back, you can see the answers to your questions.
----------------------
http://lindaikeji.blogspot.com/2008/04/lola-omotayo-opens-up-on-love-affair.html
So, if it has been rosy for over three years, what then has been keeping you away from the altar? He has mentioned his career, what would you mention?
Lola "The truth of the matter is that I'm not really particular about marriage. Marriage is not something you rush into. To me, it is over rated in Nigeria. here, they say marriage completes a woman, but I don't believe in that. There is so much that completes a woman and marriage is not it. I've never focused on that. I'm not the little girl who dreams of her wedding day. I'm not afraid to be alone. I pray, I am not going to end up alone for the rest of my life, I want a life partner. But the tag marriage is not something I think is the ultimate. I would take my time rather than rush into marriage only to later discover that it is not what to expect. And Peter as well is dealing with his own career and he wants to focus on that and you know maybe in a year's time I'd be ready to get married and if he's not, then we may get to go our separate ways. The truth of the matter is that marriage is not in the picture for me right now"
there you have it!
Obviously, Lola's friends wrote a lot of these comments. Anywoo, Linda, keep the posts coming jare!!!
Andy
Linda na wa for you oh! Please can we leave Lola Omotayo to live her life in peace (an I mean private life here). This is one of the reasons you won't find me buying or reading this tabloid junk magazine. I've read some of the comments here and I must say kudos to those who were of the opinion that Lola should be left alone. For God's sake people, because a woman is in her thirties and not yet married does not make her strange...it's her choice. Let's leave her to it and face it Linda, in about three years, you'll be clocking the age 30 yourself and are you ready for the barrage of tabloid papers that will say all sorts about your past and present relationships being the possible reason why you either got married or not yet married. Let Slepping dogs lie in peace.
Lola is a beautiful woma, and at 35 she is just in the prime of her life.
I don't think she has anything to worry about, If Psquare or whatever his name is doesn't marry her, I'm sure she will have many more thast would love to marry her.
Let's face it, psquare is not really her class is he.....really he should be happy she even looked at him with his bush self!
I can't read Lola's mind, but I think she has given up on marriage and that baby is probably not an "oops". Older self sufficient ladies now are starting to either adopt or have an "oops". I know not all women want to get married, but i know most women want kids.
As for the way the twins address the topic... all I can say is they need a PR firm to help them out. Even if Lola doesn't care, I do care that they are some what disrespectful and tells something negative about their character.
They must have had good advice. Most fans are female, getting married can ruin 'fantasies'.. e.g. Usher. Usher got married & cd sales dropped drastically. His publicist is allegedly now starting rumors that the marriage is shaky so female fans can get back 'into him'. In the Entertainment industry (esp Black) if you are male & get married or 'outted 4 being gay' ur career had ended. Note Neo, all of Hollywood (& even America) know he's gay, but sadly he'll have to deny it if he wants to make a living through music. 'Change' - Will it really come?
first of all that interview seems fake as hell but let me assume it is real and give my answer based on that.
well what can i say? to each his own but i will break up with Peter in a heartbeat if i were her. Especially if Paul REALLY did say "i dont see peter marrying her" SAY WHATTTTTTTTTTT???
the last thing i want to seen as, is a liability or a commodity 2 a man.
heck! i may not ever get married but i do not want 2 have kids with a man who doesnt see himself settling down with me.
However, if it were a different scenario say if Lola's intention were PURELY SELFISH! Who knows? maybe she just wanted a baby and figured she might as well use Peter 2 get one. if that was d case then i aint mad @ her.
unmarried men and married men are equally dogs so d whole marraige fiasco is kinda like Pigshit to me with exception to the.....lets see 3% of successful marriages?
if getting impregnated outside wedlock makes u happy, then go for it. Ther are lots of people who get married and they are not happy. Lola is rich, peter or paul, whichever is dating her also is rich , so the sky is the limit for the baby. But if u are dating an hungry man or woman, dont ever try getting pregnant o .But above all, do what pleases you.
Chei Perra!!! Perra!! na wa for you o. After I read that, it's clear that this boy has no intention of moving Lola past baby mama status. Maybe Lola doesn't care sha, so why should I take panadol for someone else's headache?
Sha, if you want to be married and the man you're with doesn't want to get married, what are you doing there? This is regardless of how old either party is, it really boils down to goals and desires; if you're working towards different paths it will only take you further apart. I have to say that once a man is a certain age, let me pick 27 in this instance, it doesn't take him 4 years to know and/or express that he wants to marry you. A man usually can recognize and go after what he wants in a shorter time frame like say 18 - 24 months.
lol@ the above post by anonymous 6:12PM...umm she was kinda contradicting herself there. Painting a picture of her not being so much into the whole marriage thing, then in a split second said she will be in a year's time?! lollll...so it takes that quick to change ur mind enh? abeggi, she's either in denial or tryn to save face. She should've stuck with the first part of her comment...the later part just invalidates her former stance.
As for Peter, lol@ the interview, he's obviously not ready for what he got himself into...he's carrying big girl shey? I think reality is dawning on him now..He was probably more infatuated with her than inlove wen they first met; maybe bcos she was everything he never had(in a girl)...but the smoke is now clearing, and reality is hitting him on the head big time.
Either way, i wish them both God's grace.
Nma.
The problem here is ILLITERACY, and if anyone thinks Education is expencive, try ignorance. These boys are successful, handsome, famous as well as immature and uncivilized. Regardless of the situation with the mother of his child, Peter and his brother should never had given that interview. The woman just had a child for the love God, if you don't have anything nice to say, save your stupidity for your family meetings.
Mia.
Na wa oh. The woman has chosen to have her baby out of wedlock, so be it. I personally dont understand the Nigerian Hypocrisy abeg.Live and let live, she aint using ur funds to care for her child.
PSQUARE needs some serious mgt, that controls what they put out and what they dont. Keep ur private life private abeg.
That said, i am of the opinion children are a blessing, so long as they are conceived willing by the parties involved.
Hi GF,
My peeps which one be our own for this matter? Lola na adult, Peter sef no be small boy, abi? So wetin?
Life is about making choices and making a success of those choices, so Lola don make her choice ...best of luck!
Linda, when did you turn into 'Aproko'? Abeg leave issue and let us talk about ways of uplifting ourselves (as comrados - women aiming for it all) spiritually, financially and psychologically!
I love you, talk your own o!!
Aunty Linda, now that we have discussed lola , can you give us naija entertainment please, dont make vex o, lol, but we are waiting
luv u and your blog
tk cr
Most of you didn't get my question. Guess the interview and headline was a bit distracting. Let me try again. Here's what I'm asking...if u're 35yrs and above, in a relationship where marriage isn't uppermost in ur partners mind...what’s the best thing to do? Break up with ur partner or have urself a baby with him? Be a mum first since ur biological clock is ticking and marriage can come later...and if it doesn’t come, I'm thinking being a mum is more important than being a wife...
This is not really about Lola; just used her as an example...and personally I think Peter should stop talking about them in the press
Back to my question…still want to know what you guys think…
linda, na still style akproko u dey do!...lol!
when i read the interview, i almost thot paul's comment had some typographical error...i mean how much more insensitive can u get?...
and back to ur question..i think its an individual thingy... whatever comes first on ur priority list....
ideally it should be marriage..but sometimes life happens.....and if you cant sit around forever waiting for a hubby, i dont blame u...
temiloluwa
he should be happy to date her.
First of all, i will like to state that as long as you are a celebrity, u dnt hv a private life.So those who think we shld leave lola nad peter's private life alone, that will not happen.That is the grand price you pay for being famous or a celebrity.Na becos here na naija, go hollywood n u go no say there aint nothing like private life.
As of the main issue here, didn't peter know lola was years older than him when he got into it and wasnt lola matured enough to know he will never be ready for as long she is the one.
If i was 35,beautiful,rich,and all dat, i wldnt waste my time on smone who isn't ready.Is not compulsory everyone gets married,if i want a baby, i will get one.I wldn't waste 4 yrs on whoever honestly.
If i was 35 n still single,i'll never court for 4 yrs + cuz any relationship i get my self in2 shld be directed towards marriage n not fun.When u tie urself 2 one person who will never know other good things that awaits you until u get loose of that person.
To me i dnt think is any career shit that is stoping peter from marrying her.Is either cuz she is older than he is, or cuz she is yoruba and he is ibo, or maybe lola is 2 possesive.Watever it is,if he wanted to marry her u wld get that from his interview.ciao.
Linda thanks for this.
I think being in a relationship for 4 years or more and not talking marriage does not make sense,especially wen u're of a marraigeble age i will suggest one just leave d rerlationship and move on....
This P-Square guys need a publicist. They are just too uncivilised.
First of all, i agree with anon @Oct 23, 7.23am.
I only fault Lola for choosing to be with a guy who is obiously very immature and clearly lacks any kind of proper education or PR training to equip him to conduct a decent interview without appearing like a prat. The same goes for the other twin. Funny thing is, i am a fan of these boys!. I also do NOT know Lola.
Just because Lola is over 35 does not mean she 'planned' the baby and if she did, they may both have discussed it. If people realised really how long it can sometimes take many couples to conceive..... ask the Ladies out there.
So i think Peter is under pressure from his brothers (yer including the one who makes all their videos) who are dying over their P Square family brand and think this will be a setback with fans. Many guys are under pressure from their families and they are not in the public eye.
I think Lola should move on from this guy if they can't be in a proper respectful relationship (i don't mean marriage!). They are not in one if he has to discuss them with a tabloid. I also think that P Square should focus on producing good music and get some PR training on how to deal with the press.
Also, Linda the truth is if one was to go by what is politically (fake) or socially correct (fake) in Nigeria you should never have dated that your ex and you should be married or getting maried by now based on you age. We sure don't judge you so let others be i beg.
Deola,UK
Well,if you have never been it,you can never know how it feel.No African woman in her prime ever desires to be unmarried.If you meet a man that sweeps u off ur feet then you will almost likely beg him to marry you.No woman will like to have a child for a man she cannot consider marriage with.Lola is definitely ready but because of the age thing,she opts to have a baby.If the guy propose tomorrow,am sure she will jump at it.With all these silly comments here,put urself in her shoe,as you are growing older and lesser men are asking you out,u will opt to ave a baby at least to keep u going.Is there any unmarried 35yrs woman here to prove me wrong.
They should just be left alone to savour the joy of having a baby. Marriage is not cut out for every one and besides, some people are happied just being "partners" rather than being married.
Everybody leave Linda alone O! Wetin be Aproko for here? I can see alot of the writers here are Lola's friends. All old and looking for young boys to sire children for them...old Mamas!
If he doesn't want to marry her...no be by force! She evidently got what she wanted..a baby.I can tell she forced the baby on him.Hence Jude their eldest brother would not have been so angry with the pregnancy.
Look at Old Withney and Bobby today.The case of an older woman and a younger man...where did it lead to? Look, our culture does not really favour older women and younger men.
If he had impregnated a younger girl,he would have been forgiven but for old ama...naaa! Let Lola look good now,I give her ten years from now,you will be able to tell the huge difference. When age badly and men age gracefully come to talk about an older woman and a younger man.
Chop off my head if you must but...I BELIEVE they will not last.
See how Ure finished SOUL E's career...Naaa! Naaa! Naaa!!!
i was just about 2 say dt pple r not even answering d question... nway, heres my two cents:
If u are 37 and unmarried, been seeing smn dt long... 1st of all why did u start dating smn widdout a real focus... anyway, fashi dt side. Now u r in 8 yrs courtship... keep seeking d face of God mehn, cos there must be a reason why d bloke is not yet talking marriage... put it out there too... if u can deal with his reasoning, then wait longer but if u cannot, PLEASE move on! Amen...
Recently, there was a testimony in my church.. dis woman lives in Abuja, 9ja... she don old finish.. 30sth or so.. was praying 2 God 4 husband.. seeing smn but thru prayer knew that the man was not d one, so broke it off. Now, in my own side, e get one african american minister wey dey pray too, was ENGAGED 2 smn1 but continued 2 pray.. as God will have it, all d way 4rm U.S 2 Abuja, na so them hook up and now they r married.. the woman testified that she put it all in God's hands and continued serving Him.. dts how her miracle came...
Still in line with what we are saying, don't attach urself 2 man b/c ur B-Clock dey tick... i know its hard.. if ur choice is to go n have a kid 4 a man ur not married to? well.. what can i say? each man his own.. me i dey follow biblical priniciples... because only God can do ALL things... Receive Him, Love Him, Believe Him, Trust Him, have Faith in Him even though erything looks kaotic and because He never ever ever ever ever fails.. His time will defn prove 2 be d best time ever!!!!
Peace y'all!!! :D
Linda, answering ur question again, boats differ. Not everyone wants to be married. Knowing fully well that a man doesnt want to marry u wont change bcos u have a baby for him. At the end of the day, u can drag him to the altar, yes, but he can be married to u alone. So what is the benefit of that? Confining urself to a lifetime of misery? abeg marriage is overrated by Nigerians. Not everybody is cut out for marriage.
I love this blog!!!
Linda, its hard to answer that question especially if one hasn't been in the situation. We can talk all we want today but when shit hits the fan, we'll all be speaking something else. We must not forget that the dynamics vary with each person, no two situations are the same no matter how similar they appear to be.
Prayer is the key men!
I shudder at how the sanctity of marriage is suddenly becoming "an old fashion concept" to some these days...God is still alive o, and his word still remains consistent.
I am referring to some of the posters, not the woman in question, bcos no one really knows her own story.
Nma
even if lola doesnt want to get married, is that license to peter to jam mouth all over the news? this interview makes him come off as an ass. and as per your question, even if i'm not in my thirties yet, if i date a guy for 3-4 years and he's not talking marriage yet, mehn e don do, i will pack my bags nd move on
Well for those who say it is ok for two people to raise children without marriage, it has been proved in the United kingdom last week that children from such marriages have a 90% chance of living unstable lives as adult, since they dont reall understand commitment and cant be committed to anything else. It was published in a national paper. People who marry usually learn conflict resolution and the fact that you cant always have it your way. They also proved that married people have a fulfilled old age, unlike the old people who go about looking for homes to break and small boys to sleep with, since they dont understand commitment. Marriage is a lifelong school that is intended to make you a better person. Most of this partner rubbish is really not the best, since its selfishness in disguise "do your own i do my own" nobody wants to invest in the life of the children in any area other than money. Forget about all this civilisation rubish. If you must have children, have them within the confines of marriage and raise them well.
This Lola girl looks like a club girl and i doubt if she can raise a child properly, as its obvious she wasnt looking for marriage in the first place. Excuse me, but even her appearance here, i doubt if Peter ever wants to marry a woman who bares it all in public without reservation even though his dancers do. Even in the UK here, men still want to marry decent women, and have flings with the indecent ones.
look at soul E. I knew him when he was upcoming still playing music in the church. he got carried away n decieved by a senior girl. today i hardly hear his name. very soon he'll wake up and realise his friends have left him behind, leave the woman, and the child is left with the hurt and pain of his parents seperating.
No matter how old a woman is, she must realise that only God gives husbands. i always advice women to choose when so many men start hanging around cos a time comes when there's none then you start harrassing small boys. If this Lola had chosen from her suitors 5 years ago, she wouldnt be the talk of the town today.
I just don't get it, maybe I'm old school or village girl, but this whole thing of having child out of wedlock or been with someone for like 4 years and no talk of marriage, you guys are just having fun with no commitment, it is nonsense to me. Just bcos everybody and their mama is doing it, doesn't make it right. One of the reason our society is so messed up, bcos so many children grow up with one parent. What's wrong with growing up with two parent, bcos that is the way it should be. My mother had me out of wedlock too, and my mother did the best she could do, and I'm grown now, and I will say it affected me emotionally no matter how superwoman I try to be or my mother is. I'm a big advocate of a committed marriage and raising children where they can have mommy and daddy at home, period. Some women don't mind been in Lola's situation bcos they don't want to be committed either, I guess they want to be independent, but in this situation lets also think about the child we are bringing into this cruel world. I'm just tired of seeing too many children out of wedlock. I don't know how a man can be in a relationship, and they claim to love each other, have your child and not even have any intention to marry. Marriage is not the problem, it's individual's problem.
those twins are really bush proper proper,paul comment is indincative of wat the whole family feels about lola.she should just move on and love her baby.how can u do a thing like dat to someone that has just given birth to ur baby.peter and paul should ask 4 forgivness.i bet they think their career would last forever,they should ask idris mr lecturer nothing lasts forever
I often wonder why Lola of all the class,posh,affluence will ever consider the unrespectful downtrodden Ajepako of a guy.well love has no colour,didnt he know she is older than him before jumping to her bed.I think he went for her because her money.Am 35 myself.I broke up with my ex last year after dating him for yrs too and clearly saw him as cheat n a cool liar.I went online dating.wow guys were many old,young,rich,poor hungry.I settled for my agemate n would be married by dec.she could have done the same and prayed.
But why are sum poster trying to crucify Linda? What is Linda's bizness in this Lola-PSquare issue?
If Lola is comfortable with the child and not marriage, wht's anybody's concern? Pls let her be!
And if Peter is not interested in marriage, let him go back to Jos (or wherever they came from) to find a partner. My questions for Psquare family (Paul, Peter and Jude) are: what was Peter's intention during the courtship? Why didn't the family kick against the relationship before now? What is wrong in being 35 and unmarried? Why is Psquare painting the whole thing as if Lola is begging Peter? What a hell is wrong with Psquare?
They did not win HHW award, they complained; what a hell is wrong with these boys?
Me I don't know why people don't want to believe that everyone's priorities are not the same. The woman made a pretty good argument for herself, though granted that the last part of it seemed incongrous to the rest. So maybe she's not so keen on marriage because the issues inside the thing carry its own wahala. So she gets a baby, gets that part of the thing over and done with, therefore reduces for herself the whole pressure of the marriage thing.
And to Linda's 'question', Of course if the clock is ticking away and there's no prospect of marriage, I think the baby route would be the best. Once the clock runs out, you can't turn it back, but you can maybe eventually get married. I also have two aunts like that who kept waiting and waiting. Now one is 54, the other 49, no baby, no husband.
And as per the Peter and Paul comments, I've always wondered what she saw in a guy like that myself. Even in other interviews, they couldn't seem to say two words without showing their lack of class. She seemed way out of his league. Well, to each his own I guess. I guess some people don't recognise their own worth.
And to the person talking about older women running around Lagos looking for younger men, you need to sit down, drink some ice water and chill out. Everything is not always how you think it is. Not every older woman is on the prowl looking for some younger man to 'tie down'. Not every relationship between an older woman and a younger man is as sleazy as you'd like to believe it. Some of them are actually - shock, horror - based on love on the part of both parties.
Yes, you're probably going to say I'm one of them, but make sure you finish the glass of ice water first.
I dont think people should get married just because they have a child.
I dont think people should have children outside of marriage.
I think if you are 37 and want a baby and thats the only way you can get it then good luck to you.
If they are fine with their arrangement who are we to judge.
WOW UR AUNT DEY TRY OH!! THATS SCARY THAT SHE IS SETTLING. SHE SHOULD HAVE A BABY IF SHE WANTS TO NOT BECAUSE SHE FEELS THAT SHE MUST! THERE ARE A LOT OF KIDS OUT THERE WITHOUT PARENTS AND SHE CAN ADOPT! WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO PROCREATE WITH A MAN WHO DOESNT EVEN THINK THEY ARE WORTHY ENOUGH TO BE A WIFE TO HIM?
We are africans and we stand by our african customs and culture just like Indians do. You marry before you have a baby. But i guess some people especially on naijarules who raised hell for others opposing of ibinabo having a baby out of wedlock with several men. Some ***nks on that board kept defending Ibinabo like there is nothing wrong with this., It may not be wrong the first time because misktakes do happen and no need to abort (as in Lola's case) but when you do it 2 or 3 times over like Ibinabo - bottom line u are a bonified "HO" (there i said it) - a skank a ho a slut, and thats all there is to it.
I wont only call the woman a ho, but in ibi's case she is and in tuface case he is too. Sex dey sweet u too moch - abeg close your legs jare, make the kitty cat breath. Chei
Peter might not want to settle down with Lola cos he may love her, but not be "In Love" with her enough to marry. Its unfortunate - but thats just how i see it. That is why back in the day i always had a 2 yr rule and stuck by it, If you are in your mid twenties and you date for more than 2yrs and nothing is happening, ms girl -he dont love you enough to marry you, move on.
Just like Pdiddy, he loves Kim Porter enough, but not enough to marry her, you cant explain it but thats just how it is.
Something similar happened once to a friend back in Lagos, and after 8yrs dating, and 2 kids with the same man and no marriage, she fortunatley found someone else, and at the wedding her idiot of an ex, wanted to stop it - talking bout "i love you, i will marry you".
She didnt pay him no mind, the wedding went on strong. Idiot!!! Its like they dont want you but they dont want any one else to have you.
I wish Lola well, and i hope to God they marry but if not, then the next man will be her true husband, i dont want her to end up like Ibinabo or tuface having babies all nilly willy
Go read this on naijarules when ibinabo was being defended. I personally this she a ho. Am entitled to my opinion
http://www.naijarules.com/vb/stars-celebrities-nigerian-movies/26390-ibinabo-fiberesima-delivers-baby-girl-fred-amata.html
T.M
P-square has alwaya struck me as uncouthed,gree-die(i must belong) semi-literate smallies....so am sure dating such a cream,beatiful lady must have made his life,not his day....lol...i wonder ow she coped with his grammatical blunders..
i don no her am am not even close 2 30 yet,i seriously believe lola didnt pray before leaving her house the day she met wateva-his-name is...pls ladies pray every seconds before leaving home so u don meet time-waster like dos we know.
she jus take her time 2 take care of her son n if him away from such a cantekerous family.....
Linda ithink i agree with what you are saying. We as african women - at least the "most" of us want tobe married and have kids, but i do agree with you, if i had to choose one I would say i would be more depressed in my late 30s and 40s if i dont have a kid, much more than i would if i am not married.
So in conclusion, getting married and having kids is important to most of us, but if it boils down to which one is more important than the other, like Lola i think Having a kid is more important. When she grows up and God forbid she never marries she will have a son to take care of her, she might even have a son who will be a president.
IMAGINE IF BARACK OBAMA'S MOTHER ABORTED HIM. CHEI, TUFIAKWA!!! CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING (MARRIED OR NOT) But like the other poster said, i hope she doesnt have babies all whoreish like Ibinabo with so many kids my so many men , or like tuface who has so many kids by so many women. If Peter will not marry her and she desires another baby, i suggest she gives her son at least another sibling by the same dad. That step sibling bullshit is a pure mess.
Honestly, I have a problem when all these older women marry or date younger men when their biological clock is almost up to have kids. I feel like these women do whatever with their lives when they were younger, and then remember that, OMG! marriage and family is important, then they go ahead and snatch a young guy, and then it's all special. For example, Halle Berry, Eva Longoria, or vice versa when the younger men claim that the older women are wiser, I'm sorry wise or mature women come in all ages. I personally don't know why a woman in her late 30s should be committed to a man who has no intention for marriage in the first place, I say marriage comes first then kids. But if a woman is in that situation, well she will have to do whatever bcos it might be hard to just break up, and it will also be problematic if she rush into marriage, so I guess deal with whatever she got herself into. Men and woman should know what they want before getting in a serious relationship. These older women need 2 leave the younger ones alone bcos then we young ones won't have any left,lol. I'm tired of the older woman, young man trend, eversince Hollywood started it, now everyone is doing it. Can it just go back to the ideal.
I HAVE A QUESTION FOR ALL THESE PPLE SAYN LOLA IS TOO GOOD OR "CLASSY" FOR PETER ABI IS IT PAUL(?)....DO Y'ALL KNOW LOLA,...I DONT MEAN JUST LOOKS O (bsides going by that pic she took with the psquare dude, she wasnt looking as classy and posh as she's being donned here)...SO YEA, DO Y'ALL KNOW THEM BOTH THAT WELL TO CLAIM SHE'S TOO GOOD FOR PETER??..FOR ALL U KNOW SHE COULD BE WORSE THAN WOT Y'ALL THINK PSQUARE IS ...
just a thought...
I don;t know if this interview is real or not.I Just think Nigerians just do not mind their business. Why do we judge too much? We like to put religion in everything and some of these people talking don't even practice what they preach. Why can't we just be rational?
Ok, Lola and Peter have a baby out of wedlock and he is not ready to marry her. It was their decision to keep this baby so I think people should just chill.
I repsect that he is honest and is not rushing into marriage. He is a grown ass man and he knows what he wants. I thought marriage is a union between a man and woman.People should stop pressuring them to get married. Do they all want to get married too?
Lola is old enough to make decsions. She is 35 and so what? Gone are the days when women thought marriage was everything. Some people are happier without having husbands so whatever her decision is, people should respect that.
Ok, Linda, Please can you talk about gay people? Like why the governemnt chooses to imprison them? I want to know what is going on? Thanks.
what! the guy has a steady partner and they decide to have a kid and people have a problem with that! puh-leazzzz they're consenting adults. those 'morality' do-gooders need to get a life. how many of them have skeletons in their cupboards?
In this day and age,why are we Nigerians still making an issue about unmarried women over 30. People - 40 is the new 30.Don't you know that? I see a lot of men over thirty having kids outside wedlock and no one is harping on it. Plus marraige isn't the "Be all and end all" of a relationship. We find ourslves focusing on marraige(which in itself is far from perfect) instead of contrating on the union of hearts(Love).
No offence Linda,you shouldn't be asking this question. Years ago, this would have been an appropriate question.
Many thanks.
Na wa for you all, eeeeiiii. See, i personally think and agree with some of y'all, most if not, all woman dont want a child out of wedlock, come now, who are you kidding. Every little girl has a dream of walking down the aisle in a white dress. But, if you find yourself pregnant, denial and NO i dont want to get married become an option, not a choice.. Puleez. Lola or anyother woman would not date a man for longer than 6 months if she knew he would never marry. Period!!
i support lola full time
she does not need any man to take care of her baby.at that age.it is better to have the child when u find out you pregnant even if the guy isnt ready to get married.time waits for no one and biological clock is ticking big time.i love lola and she definitely will find true love from anybody else regardless having a child for another man
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