What's the difference between having an opinion on something/someone and being judgemental?
When is a statement you make an opinion and when is it a judgement? Most times we are very careful not to sound judgemental when we say something but how do we know that we are just having an opinion? We may think we have an opinion, but others can view it as judgemental.
If for instance I say Annie Macauley acted stupid (I don't think she's stupid...I'm just saying) by getting pregnant for Tuface Idibia, (which has been confirmed by the way...so he's expecting two more babies from two different mothers), or I say Tuface is a bad example to young boys who look up to him (four kids from 3 different women at 32?), am I being judgemental or is it just my opinion?
How can you say what you think without judging? Let me know what you think...
Hips don't lie
Meanwhile, is this the world's largest hips? Can this be for real?
How can she carry herself? Lord have mercy...
"People think it. Great people think it and do it"
So go out there and JUST DO IT!
Stay blessed!
44 comments:
hey girly,thank you oh!
no one should even argue wit me its not my opinion Anne is a born fool,i remember seeing one useless interview she granted sayin pero was after her life and twas truly over with 2face.
if i was complaining she was shagging the guy,maybe dat would have been jugdmental but sayin she's daft for gettin preggers is my opinion as well!!!
2-face jus has a great voice and is down to earth but he's a moron,he's not a sharp guy,he cant even speak english correctly so wat do u expect??
for his sake,he should berra not marry any of dem if he wants to live long.Nonsense!!!
i dey vex.lol
Wow Linda,Wow.What can i say.Those hips are really sexy added to the fact that she also has a protruding round ass.That makes her unique since she doesn't only have big hips but well curved ass.i actually saw a woman(though looks 60+)at Iyana Ipaja that has very large hips and big ass that can give this lady a run for her money.All in all,i admire her cause she seems to be able to carry herself.
You can definitely express an opinion but you dont have to say someone is stupid to pass your point of view across.
Fact is that we can never really know a lot of things until we wear someone's shoes so I say focus on your own imperfections and try and be the best Linda you can be and let other people and their problems be.
abeg, my sis, we still dey for dis tuface matter. i tink say we don close de chapter as tubaba don make up im mind, say, na plenty chirren e wan have and born.
person talk say e wan be like "im baba, bobby marley," wey be im biggest influence.
if u ask me, i no go say ann dey stupid. becos, one, ebe like say naija get shortage of men; dis one everybody dey concentrate for lagos. u know, now.
many pple no wan leave lagos go look for man or woman for different state so dem dey collect de ones wey dey available, whether, dem dey emotionally available or not, some pple no wan know o.
all dem sabi be say dem get man or woman for their lives and arms.
me, i no come no o. all i no say, be dem be adults, dem sabi wetin dere heart and pocket fit take. all i dey fit do dese days, na to dey siddon, dey look dem. if dey comot for news i go hear wetin be de latest for dere side and if dem fit comot for t.v, dat one dey good sef, ato.
anyway..sha, good luck to dem.
this is a pretty difficult question as there is a thin line between making an opinion and passing a judgement.
I will only say that be careful about what you say about public female figures like you. We women need to bond together and help ourselves and not really insult ourselves. If Annie has made a mistake with Tuface, calling her stupid wont solve anything. This goes for your earlier sarcastic quip on Ibinabo Fiberisima after her baby for Fred Amata.. my 2 cents.
Beliefs are about YOU
Judgements are about OTHERS
Judgement is when you look down on others for not believing in the same things you do.
Tuface is setting a bad example PERIOD!!!
Ah... I dont think it necessitates calling her stupid... After all when your ex met you, the news was around town that he promised to marry someone else and jilted her for you...
We could have said you were "stupid" to be with such a man but we did not and when he treated you badly and you dumped him... No one said you were "stupid" or that you had it coming giving the way he left someone he was engaged to be with u.
In essence, to re-echo what someone has earlier said, people make mistakes. Let them learn and move on !
linda, i have to agree with busola.Indeed, its a very thin line btw making your opinion and being judgemental. On a serious note, I guess if u keep your opinion to yourself, it wont be a sin, but if your opinion is not asked on a matter and you choose to share, u may be deemed as being judgemental of the other person no matter what d circumstances are. But sometimes it just helps d other person if u give your honest and candid opinion on a matter(only if u are asked to) otherwise, just keep your opinion to yourself.
Also, remember what happened with d woman who was considered a harlot by all and sundry and was going to be stoned to death? Her case was already settled even before she got a chance to a fair hearing-If there be one amongst u without sin, let him cast the first stone.
I am as guilty as hell of being sooooo judgemental but i just try very hard to caution myself by remembering this incident that happened so many years ago and which still stands true today.
It just requires some self discipline i guess
Chei. Wetin be this? Back no dey pain am?
why re u all up against 2 face what bout the women that so allowed themselves 2 be so used i beg?meanwhile linda how far with that allegation levelled against u by kisses and roses,i ve been expecting to read ur comment it cant be true now abi?
huh,2baba....lets just humour him and let him navigate his own way around his destiny, afterall he seems not to be the only one doing so in the media industry...we can only pray for him...aside his negative side...when he lived around my crib back in the day,he used to be a very humble and jovial person...as bible talk make we no judge am...so them no go judge us too....
and those hips damn na die
are those hips 4 real...... you've gat to be kidding me.
like they say, you have no control over what ppl think of you....all you can control is what you do.....Opinion are what you think regardless of the fact that ppl might think it is judgemental or not..... so i guess, the true interpretation of your statement will depend on the audience(what kind of ppl they are, indidviduals give words, statements and acts unique meanings)
Linda, please leave them alone, because there is no right or wrong decision in life. Whatever is wrong in your opinion might be the best decision for somebody else. Hope you are not telling the young lady to get rid of the pregnancy. having baby for Tuface may pay off for her in future. Cute baby
I'm kinda like conducting an experiment...a lot of us are quick to call people names, (I get called names all the time)I just want to know when u've crossed the line from having an opinion to being judgemental. I'm going to talk about this sometime. In as much as I teach, I don't know it all...I wanna learn from u guys.
@anon 10;20 and busola...u're right. I kinda look down on women who I feel aren't conducting themselves properly...I've always been like that, I'm trying to grow beyond it.
@Anon 11.05...u are free to call me stupid with what happened with my ex...I really was stupid...lol!
Stupid is not such a harsh word...we've all been stupid at one point or the other in our lives...admitting that u were stupid helps u learn I guess
@ anon..u mean Chima? He's been my friend for 11 years...he's a crazy guy lol...ignore him.
Actually you dont have to call someone stupid but you can say someone did a stupid thing...
Linda, these things are relative and we should keep our personal opinions to ourselves .
someone for instance might consider you stupid for indulging in sex before marriage...
for real!especially if my standards are different from yours.
just the same way you probably consider annie stupid cos u cant do what she's just done..
maybe what she's done is wrong (i certainly cannot justify it) but sex before marriage is also wrong....at least if the bible is your standard of right/wrong...
what i am saing is dat we shld refrain from judging people by our personal standards and let every man decide for himself..
afterall, i will answer for my actions and u will answer for yours!
my 2 cents!
ok, lets get this straight guys....Linda only said she thought Annie acted stupid to get herself in that situation.....there is a difference btw acting stupid and being stupid.....Everyone here has just jumped to conclusions by judging her. My answer to Linda's question is that no one will ever act the same way you do becos no one is perfect. We are only human so we will always give unsolicited advice or opinions. In someway, it is good becos the person will get to listen to a voice of reasoning and think twice about his/her actions.... Sometimes you don't see the bad in what you are doing until someone calls your attention to it....in the way of being judgmental or giving an honest opinion. To each his own.
cunni4real..those hips r sexy???
im sorry but are u okay???
that lady obviously needs 2 seek medical help cos that is not only scary but may be detrimental 2 her health.
as 4 tuface and his baby mommas. long hissssssssssssssssssss. in this day and age with all d contraceptives in the world...oh and lets not even talk abt the STDS. Madness indeed! how do some women feel comfortable knowing they are second place let alone third place???
shitttttt i think i love myself too much 4 that. I'm conceited and YES i got a reason. lol
paleez!!! pple can do stupid things and not necessarily be stupid. its how many times u repeat that same stupid thing that determines if u are indeed stupid.
and when i say how many times, im not saying 2 or 3 times. im talking abt a consistent pattern.
@ temi...sex before marraige and having babies like as if ur dropping dump from ur ass are 2 totally different things.
i do not get it!!!.. why and how do people continue to compare things that do not correlate with each other at all??
im not saying ur wrong but i feel as tho u brought in your own sentiments into the situation. this is not a religious matter, it is more of a social issue.
that is y we have rapists and murderers always tyring 2 justify their actions.
if someone rapes someone in naija, it's automatically because the girls was dressed 'slutty' and so on and so forth.
there are things that are more under our control as humans than others.
pls pple stick 2 d post and stop deviating. just because this ONE naija women openly talks abt sex on her blog without staying anonymous does not warrant the fact that every single time on her blog there is always one comment or the other abt sex b4 marraige and blah blah blah even it has absolutely nothing 2 do with the post as if it is something NEW in Nigeria.
abeg drop ur personal feelings in the trash so it can enable u leave honest and NON-JUDGEMENTAL comments.
Annie is a fool. If what I say is true, then im not judging her PERIOD!
@Paris- I was thinking the same thing when i read everyone's post and wondered why they were taking things too personal. Get a grip pple....and lighten up. No one is judging the other. We are just having a civil conversation....
Hey hey Temi up there somewhere, will you shut up dat ur rrrotten mouth!! linda was not trying to insult Annie by using d word stupid but was trying to make a point about how judgemental pple can be. who also asked what you think about sex b4 marriage? this is not a biblestudy/prayer meeting debate or do you think this is a kindagaten club? this is a blog 4 adults and the world has changed so much so that even a 10year old would tell you how they perform this thing.personally i think Annie's head is in the wrong direction facing back to front otherwise she would see that tuface is a breeding machine and she should consequently find somebody else who has a lot more to offer(she's pretty enough). I think that's why the robbers are dealing with him seriously(because he is consuming all the female population at a rapid speed). however in the mean time abeg leave Linda alone for me abeg...if you can't stand the type of heat in this kichen(Openly talking about realistic issues on this blog)....Nna COMOTT HERE!! no offence(cuz u still made some valid points). Tosin O
I think its easy to judge, i know i have prematurely judged friends of mine for getting pregnant for a guy because they think it will tie him down. But before you judge another woman, you must realize that not everyone is as confident as yourself. We all have our insecurities, so we should know better. It may seem like an obvious error to you, but some of the mistakes that you made didn't seem so stupid at the time, even though in retrospect, you are like, "what was I thinking?"
Getting pregnant might be from planning it, it might be from being careless which i know we have all been at some point, if you don't admit this, you must be a virgin.
None of us were there, and even if you were there, you sure weren't in her head.
So i agree, its not the best situation for her. But what is done is done, am sure she is beating herself up enough about it.
and to answer Linda's question. An opinion is what it is an opinion. It only becomes a judgment, when you look down on the person, as if you yourself are incapable of making mistakes.
@paris
you obviously missed the point of my post.
linda asked about when you cross the line from having an opinion to being judgemental...
i said when we measure people's actions by our own personal standards, it could be termed as judgemental anD i used the example of sex before marriage..i do not know linda personally so i used something she talks about on her blog and i dont hear her complaining..
why does that make u uncomfortable?
the crux of the matter is learning to be non-judgemental....so my point was not to judge linda.i dont remember making any reference to not having sex before marriage as my personal standard!!!!!!it is bible standard tho... no one can change dat!
and since when does rape and murder come in the same category with being preggers and making love???
i was saying the same way we might think annie is stupid is the same way someone probably thinks you're stupid if u're sleeping with your boyfy,and d same way anoda person thinks someone is wrong to have an abortion, and someone else thinks it is a shameful thing to be divorced....these are all life issues..religious, social, whatever..depending on your perspective......We all see these things through different eyes.....so just do your thing and let me do mine.....
and dont "JUDGE" me for my post too!(lol)
my point being..LIVE AND LET LIVE!!
@anonymous..tosin o
when you read, read in between the lines, use your brain and think before you start to run your mouth......
what is it about sex before marriage that brings out all the CLAWS and FANGS?????????so much so that pple forget the pertinent issues and start to BARK????
na wa o!
i wont even bother to explain my point..i did so earlier to someone whose comments were worth the effort......
i really dont know what your argument is...talking about how a ten yr olds sex education???how is dat related to the issue ?
and it is so RETARDED to blog insultively......learn some etiquette......and dont live for the heat in dis kitchen!dat seems to be the highpoint of your existence!
@anonymous..tosin o
when you read, read in between the lines, use your brain and think before you start to run your mouth......
what is it about sex before marriage that brings out all the CLAWS and FANGS?????????so much so that pple forget the pertinent issues and start to BARK????
na wa o!
i wont even bother to explain my point..i did so earlier to someone whose comments were worth the effort......
i really dont know what your argument is...talking about how a ten yr olds sex education???how is dat related to the issue ?
and it is so RETARDED to blog insultively......learn some etiquette......and dont live for the heat in dis kitchen!dat seems to be the highpoint of your existence!
now i usually reply 2 do this especially when i feel as tho i have made my point but i couldnt help but lol @ temi's comment.
me uncomfortable??? abt what boo boo?? naah it takes more than that 2 get me uncomfy but IRRITATED was d word u were looking 4 hun. i guess i took out my "irritaton" on u.. so i apologize.
its just that there have been SEVERAL occassions where linda would post something and i'ld look 4ward 2 reading reasonable responses and all i end up seeing is u sex b4 marraige this, that & this...its like damn! who was even talkin abt that?? it goes 2 show u its on the minds of those who r constantly writing abt it than the author herself.
and hun u totally got it confused with the rape and murder thing. i believe i was making a reference as 2 why pple always have an excuse 4 doing something be it right or wrong.
i meant i usually dont reply 2 this...
sigh i see alot of errors in my comment but men cant be bothered jare. ok im off 2 sleep!
linda ur xpermineting with ur blog i see. the font is so big even a blind man can read it. lol let me leave u alone abeg.
good night or is it good morning over there?
@paris
whatever, whatever!
at least now you understand my point and i urs.............
@paris
whatever, whatever!
at least now you understand my point and i urs.............
Linda sent in 2 issues and everyone(EXCEPT ONE LADY OR IS THE PERSON A GUY?) concentrated on "Question about been STUPID" and forgot about"World largest hips"?.Just felt like pointing that out.
take it easy y'all
temi,nne i get you and i agree.
the example you chose put pple on the defensive sha. dis premarital sex thingy na big deal for some people.
anyways, even if i dey do am, i know say e no dey right.lord help us all.
i'm sure ann has her reasons for getting knocked up by tuface and keeping it.maybe she wan milk d guy for what he's worth.
na she know oo
and to some of linda's fans, pls let her fight her own battles(weda they are real or imagined)
but meeeeeeeeen those hips are sometin else.kai!
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i am nt a judgemental person by nature and i find it hard to judge people because i will probably never understand why they do wat they do. I totally understand where linda is coming from, judging people because they do things u consider wrong. we all do it. hw many times have we looked down upon prostitues, strippers, aristo babes for doing wat they do?it's the same thing. there r some people that r ruled by greed, i have no problem giving my opinion on these people. i feel everyone has the right to their opinion (esp wen u have ur own blog). if u feel annie acted stupidly*(which is different frm being stupid) that is ur own opinion i won't fight u. personally, i feel she should have left the relationship with some dignity intact. ithought after suffering a miscarriage the first time, she would count herselflucky and move on.but hu knows the kind of emotions that she was facing? sometimes it's hard bt it's rili hard nt to view her as stupid for getting pregnant for a man hu got other women pregnant while they were dating. he obviously has no form of respect for her. you don't have children with such people, it's hard to maintain ur dignity. as for tu baba, he's a man whore...nd this is nt being judgemental. if he only got two women pregnant, i wouldn't have judged, bt wen things happen over and over, it's no longer judging, it's the fact! wat else do u call an unmarried man with 5 children with 3 women in a space of 2 yrs. puhleeze. the koko of my oro is that we shuld be frr to state our opinions on people, afterall we can't help it, just try to understand their position and DON'T HATE! <3 U LINDA
i am nt a judgemental person by nature and i find it hard to judge people because i will probably never understand why they do wat they do. I totally understand where linda is coming from, judging people because they do things u consider wrong. we all do it. hw many times have we looked down upon prostitues, strippers, aristo babes for doing wat they do?it's the same thing. there r some people that r ruled by greed, i have no problem giving my opinion on these people. i feel everyone has the right to their opinion (esp wen u have ur own blog). if u feel annie acted stupidly*(which is different frm being stupid) that is ur own opinion i won't fight u. personally, i feel she should have left the relationship with some dignity intact. ithought after suffering a miscarriage the first time, she would count herselflucky and move on.but hu knows the kind of emotions that she was facing? sometimes it's hard bt it's rili hard nt to view her as stupid for getting pregnant for a man hu got other women pregnant while they were dating. he obviously has no form of respect for her. you don't have children with such people, it's hard to maintain ur dignity. as for tu baba, he's a man whore...nd this is nt being judgemental. if he only got two women pregnant, i wouldn't have judged, bt wen things happen over and over, it's no longer judging, it's the fact! wat else do u call an unmarried man with 5 children with 3 women in a space of 2 yrs. puhleeze. the koko of my oro is that we shuld be frr to state our opinions on people, afterall we can't help it, just try to understand their position and DON'T HATE! <3 U LINDA
The singer with the South African Group called Joyous Celebration has the largest hips
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