Dear LIB readers; How do women in polygamy cope? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Thursday 27 August 2015

Dear LIB readers; How do women in polygamy cope?

From a female LIB reader
"I have been married for seven years and I have always lived separately from my husband. He is in d military and works in Abuja while I'm a banker working in Lagos. My husband just informed me he is taking a second wife and there is no going back. I requested for a divorce, he refused saying he still loves me. We have 3 kids and are practicing Muslims. Please how do women in polygamy handle it because I am so traumatized just thinking about sharing my husband with another woman.

131 comments:

Davido's driver said...

They pray to God

Anonymous said...

Are you not a Muslim? Nne park well

Davido's driver said...

I feel your Pain. My Aunt is going through same ish. Lindaobserve

Anonymous said...

Men are naturally polygamous. Loving two women for five different reasons comes to them naturally. Women on the other hand are mentally monogamous. You have to think from his perspective and live with it or you'll just end up hating yourself and everyone else.

Anonymous said...

No I dont think you r a practicing Muslim but I'm he is so correct urself... Better check uself again. What's with women and work even when ur man can confortably provide everything... aarrrggghhhh

Unknown said...

Just live as if he is not there is u'v survived without his presence for so long..but try to accept the other woman so there'd peace

Unknown said...

Hello oooo...

U guys r muslim and u know wht is@stake wit dat religion when it comes to polygamy.

So don't worry simply relax and brace up for wht is ahead of u. I suggest u keep ur marriage for d devil u know is far better than d angel u don't know.

Unknown said...

Sorry eh, i feel your pain but i am not in the best position to answer you because i am still single for now. Men, hmm, it is well. Tell your bank to transfer you to Abuja branch, it will draw you closer to your husband.

Unknown said...

Hello oooo...

U guys r muslim and u know wht is@stake wit dat religion when it comes to polygamy.

So don't worry simply relax and brace up for wht is ahead of u. I suggest u keep ur marriage for d devil u know is far better than d angel u don't know.

Alloy Chikezie said...

Tough one.
Concentrate more on Your kids, and yourself, it'll help you cope.

Your comment will be visible after approval

Unknown said...

Did u say Muslim? Ewoooooo! NNE biko shiftuooo, enwerom anything to tell u....he might even take 7th wife, just buckle ur seat belt . Ndo o

www.glowyshoe.com said...

Dont know what to say... Some men are just greedy and wicked thereby using religion as a backup which is not good

Glowyshoe blog

Unknown said...

Hello oooo...

U guys r muslim and u know wht is@stake wit dat religion when it comes to polygamy.

So don't worry simply relax and brace up for wht is ahead of u. I suggest u keep ur marriage for d devil u know is far better than d angel u don't know.

Unknown said...

Since you guys are muslims, you should have expected now.
You're naturally suppose to know to handle it , because your religion permits it.
Ask your fellow Muslim wives how they did it.

Zini said...

My dear friend, don't kill yourself there has been another woman all along but you didn't know, its the knowledge that he taking another wife that is killing you...
<<<REWIND... pretend you are not aware and lead a happy life with your children.

Unknown said...

Since you are a Muslim and a Nigerian, you must face the consequences. Your husband is allowed to take up to four wives. If you don't agree decamp to another religion that supports monogamy. Thanks

Chinwe said...

Are you high??? dont u know wot ur religion entails??? why are you traumatized that he is taking a second wife....

Unknown said...

Hmm, it's nt an easy thing my dear..no mata Hw u try to mk it work, it neva seems to work, except u guys Wil just continue to live separately to hv little peace of mind. Jst pray to Allah on it sha, wish u d best

dharmmy said...

All these military Muslim men

Eze said...

Get use to it sweetheart, that's the price u have to pay for being a moslem, u can switch to Christianity u know. This doesn't make sense, he still loves u and yet wants to take another wife, how is that love

Eze said...

Get use to it sweetheart, that's the price u have to pay for being a moslem, u can switch to Christianity u know. This doesn't make sense, he still loves u and yet wants to take another wife, how is that love

Anonymous said...

You muslim women are funny. How dare you ask for a divorce when your religion permits polygamy. You cant take one part of the religion and leave the other or did you just assume he wont exercise that rigth? Well sorry to burst your bubble but assumption is the mother of all F ups. Please open your arms and welcome your mate biko..

Anonymous said...

As if u dont know that is common with Muslims to marry more than one wife . U have to live with. concentrate on ur lovely kids and work and u will think less abt it

Blog It With Olivia said...

Hmmmmm. U shld knw he's been seeing †ђξ lady he wants as second wife cos he won't wake up one day αи∂ just decide to marry, doesn't work that way.
So u shld stop saying ur traumatised thinking of sharing ur husband with another lady, d sharing started long before now.
Meanwhile, if u knw u can't handle polygamy, u better stick to ur decision of divorcing, who told u he's keeping u cos he still loves u???? Don't allow such rubbish to deceive u o, if he truly loves u, he wouldn't have even thought of getting a second wife...
Ur †ђξ only person that can handle this, file for divorce or stick ur head there to taste polygamy











#it WILL only GET better
#IT must END in PRAISE

Unknown said...

Question!!!

Do we have polygamy trainers in d house????

Moye says so via BB Passport courtesy LIB...

Blog It With Olivia said...

Hmmmmm. U shld knw he's been seeing †ђξ lady he wants as second wife cos he won't wake up one day αи∂ just decide to marry, doesn't work that way.
So u shld stop saying ur traumatised thinking of sharing ur husband with another lady, d sharing started long before now.
Meanwhile, if u knw u can't handle polygamy, u better stick to ur decision of divorcing, who told u he's keeping u cos he still loves u???? Don't allow such rubbish to deceive u o, if he truly loves u, he wouldn't have even thought of getting a second wife...
Ur †ђξ only person that can handle this, file for divorce or stick ur head there to taste polygamy











#it WILL only GET better
#IT must END in PRAISE

Unknown said...

If he loves u den second wife should not be an option for him, forget abt those stories that he loves u If u think u a strong enough to live as a sinlge mother go ahead, Poligamous home is not a good optin nor single mother is easy and d best for u and ur children, Ask if d reason he wants to take a second wife if it is something u can work out with a lot of sacrifice do it if u love him and he is worth it

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Pele o. His religion permits him

Anonymous said...

Nonsense fake story, he loves u and yet his taking another wife? You HV 3kidds and yet his taking another wife? What's d second wife for then? If is about d distance u can easily ask your bank to tranfer u to abuja to be with hubby which i did when i got married so whats d second wife for?Fake story, linda pls stop feeding us with nonsense.

ary said...

I feel your pain

Anonymous said...

Why are you traumatized? Polygamy and Islam go hand in hand, so, you should have expected this right before you got married to him. And you are traumatized thinking of sharing your husband with another woman, you said? Well, the bad news is that you have been sharing him with OTHER WOMEN for long before now. He only chose to wife one of his women. You have been living apart, which may have been parr of this decision of his. Your living apart, may have given him room to check out other women and get another wife. Madam, accept your fate. Just love and accept the other wife and teach your kids same. My grandfather married 4 wives and they all lived together peacefully, until his death.

Colorado said...

Please....give me a break! Isn't that what your religion is all about??? Oh! You're being modern now, abi! Feeling cool! My dear...your religion permits 4 wives to a man. It comes with the territory :))! You knew this all along. Deal with it and stop your bitter party story....please! Otherwise, change your religion. Then you'll have a choice and a voice!! For now, shut your trap!!

Colorado said...

Please....give me a break! Isn't that what your religion is all about??? Oh! You're being modern now, abi! Feeling cool! My dear...your religion permits 4 wives to a man. It comes with the territory :))! You knew this all along. Deal with it and stop your bitter party story....please! Otherwise, change your religion. Then you'll have a choice and a voice!! For now, shut your trap!!

Anonymous said...

U have been sharing him since.. but u jst didn't knw.. I guess the second wife is already pregnant and she doesn't want to abort it.. Sooo he's going to marry her... It's a good thing he even informed u.. most men won't.. anyways madam.. I think u will learn to cope.. since he isn't even near u.. u may really never see the second wife and it won't hunt u dat bad... u will be fine Ma.. take heart.. when u marry a Nigerian Man.. anything is possible..

Anonymous said...

religion apart.......my sister...... it is very unfortunate that we are accepting d foreign culture of one man to one wife....... but have u ever taken a look at statistics??? in every country, we hav more women dan men,,,,,,, even in your country Nigeria,,,,,,, so tell me.... if every man marries one,,,,, hu wil marry d rest..... they will end up becoming public property, which ya own husban will b following again,,,, so instead of allowing him to legally bring dem, u wil b forcing dem to get side kicks, whic s more painful ..........wot will u advise ya blood sister wen all men already have 1 wife n there s the option for her to be SECOND WIFE or PUBLIC PROPERTY.??????

Anonymous said...

Its ur religion so u must know how to cope, your husband is entitled to 4 wives. The only remedy would have been to marry a christian man but christian cheat like dogs even they would most likely not take another wife.

Unknown said...

You're a practicing Muslim right? Why are you complaining since it is allowed in your religion. Abeg, ask your fellow Hajias

Unknown said...

Well u are even lucky he told u,,in as much as I don't support polygamy..its ur decision to make, ,if u knw u can't handle it then walk away buh if u still luv ur hubby well stay for d sake of ur kids

Funmi said...

Madam,I feel your pain but being a Muslim his actions should nt surprise you especially as you don't live together. For your children s sake continue with your marriage. Hold on to God, let your hands be clean and the lord will uphold you

Unknown said...

This is disheartening! God is your strength....

Unknown said...

My dear... Baffling.. At least u want to divorce.. Most women won't divorce cos of what d society will say... Selfish men..

Thandeka said...

As a practicing Muslim you should have talked about this before getting married. I always wonder too how women in polygamous homes cope. When i see them wearing aso ebi and looking very happy in public i admire them and wonder how they cope. Since you live apart already it may not be so bad to cope.

abake said...

madam, u said have bee living separately for 7 years and y think for all those years u had your husband to your self. in your 7 years you must have seen indications that your husband is seeing someone else.2ndly, you said you are a practicing Muslim one of the doctrines of islam is marring more than one wife if the man wishes , if you are a Muslim that shouldn't be a problem anymore. you request a divorce because of another woman who intends to live in Abuja with your husband.......if i were you i wont but life is about ones choice. the next man u will likely befriend or wanna marry will either be married with a wife or be married with more than one. and you end up being a second fiddle anyway.so dear,choice is yours

Anonymous said...

Its ur religion. Accept it.

Or watch africa magic hausa since this is their favourite topic. But they start up fighting & end up accepting it. So same as my first advice.

Amy said...

You are a Muslim, your religious promotes such. Deal with it ma'am.

Unknown said...

U created d room for him to have a second wife by staying in lagos while him in Abuja. U jst have to accept it if u still love him and ur kids

Unknown said...

U aint gonna get solid advice here...dts all I know

Trendyify said...

All i would say is for you to pray, seek the face of God
















it is well

Unique Bee said...

Ur hubby in Abuja and you in Lagos, You gave him an opportunity on a platter of gold to get married to another woman, if u don't want to share Ur hubby with another woman u both would have been living together,,,,,its too late for an advise, carry your cross.

Anonymous said...

Come ask ma mama

Unknown said...

I m sorry but I thot muslim men are allowed to marry more than 1 wife? Why are u worried or traumatised about this? I feel ur pain but what can u do? He refused divorce, u will be fine, don't think too much abt it

Unknown said...

Write to your bank for them to transfer you to Abuja. if they refuse resign relocate to Abuja where your husband is.

Anonymous said...

Like what the fuck were you doing in lagos? I am sure it is loneliness and lack of care that pushed him to this. You should have stayed with your husband and look for job in Abuja. My dear you have no choice, u will have to cope ni, since it is acceptable in your religion. Just continue with your beloved work and face your children

Anonymous said...

It requires a very big sacrifice, if u can leave ur work or ask to be transfered to ABJ so that u can be with him, may be he will think twice about getting a second wife. I wish u the best of luck.

Anonymous said...

You lived seperately from your husband for 7 years and ur shocked he's taking another wife? Abeg wake up from your slumber your husband has always had another woman, he's only just making it official. Live the way you have been living all these years in ignorant bliss mtscheew

Unknown said...

All the best to you Dear. Linda take note!

Unknown said...

All the best to you Dear. Linda take note!

Unknown said...

All the best to you Dear. Linda take note!

APPlE said...

Get a divorce nah, in Lagos it is not as if you are faithful are you? Are you sure you don't have one bobo shining your congo? A banker for that matter. mtcheeew.

Anonymous said...

My dear na Una peaceful religion say make e be like that. find a place in your heart to keep him. even if its just as your children papa and move on with life. if possible get a male friend to ease the tension and distract you buh be discrete ooo! No talk say na me send you

diamond baby said...

No good advice here,mtcheew!

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with marrying another wife, 7yrs of staying apart, madam you are just married to him on paper. Muslim practicing or not will do the same thing. You have a good job, continue with your married but living single lifestyle and raise you kids. Forget him focus on the kids

Mecious said...

Gbam!!!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm.... coping in polygamy depends on how strong ones Iman is . If you believe that you're in the marriage for Allah's sake and that it's Allah swt that wills everything you will be able to cope. Prayers, patience and Tawwakkul are the key factors. just pray to Allah swt for ease.

Anonymous said...

If u truly loves ur husband ,u won't consider divorcing him and any woman that doesn't accept polygamy according to the sunah her religious rites are not complete

Anonymous said...

Please buy these books from an islamic store and read"You can be the happiest woman on earth " and " Don't be Sad" it will help you.

Anonymous said...

Am not saying it's a good tin to share you husband of 7 yrs. ..But my dear u both r Muslim n u shud hv prepared for dis day,knowing ur husband is entitled to atleast 4wives as ur belief....So I guess u can handle it well. Mrs Roy

Anderson FOX said...

If you are dealing with a soldier, expect anything like this from him. So if any of them comes to u pls ask ur self if u can take what they will dish u in future.

donjazzy's crush said...

Oma shee ooo,suck it up

Anonymous said...

That he's marrying another wife doesn't mean he doesn't love you , putting sentiments and religion aside ,men are capable of loving women differently that's why you see some keeping other women and some Christians marrying more than one woman secretly and some openly. Please get lectures on marriage from scholars like Mufti Ismail Menk and also attend Muslim gatherings anywhere in your neighborhood . You should not offend your creator for d sake of any human being,the essence why Allah swt created us has been made known to us. May Allah swt ease your pains,make your feet firm in His deen and strengthen you. Ameen

Anonymous said...

Also you can books on "You can be the happiest woman on earth " and " Don't be Sad" it will help you.

Anonymous said...

My Darling Sister please take care of yourself and talk to people who are practising polygamy around you especially the older ones. Comfort yourself. Concentrate on your Children and ask God for Joy.
PS don't kill yourself over a man o. He wikk just Marry Yet another one.

Anonymous said...

Polygamy is Islam !!!! But e be like I know u o

Unknown said...

So what if she's a Muslim? she's allowed to have human feelings isn't she?

Anonymous said...

selfish religion..........he doesn't love you sorry,,,,he wouldn't agree if u were in his position

green ambassadors said...

Asalam alaykum dear sister. Our creator Alllah swt told us that : "HE will not burden a soul with more than it can bear ". With this verse of the Quran ,i would like to say that Allah wouldnt throw polygamy your way if it would cause you hardship. coping in polygamy depends on how strong ones Iman is . If you believe that you're in the marriage for Allah's sake and that it's Allah swt that wills everything you will be able to cope. Prayers, patience and Tawwakkul are the key factors . just pray to Allah swt for ease. And it also depends on how much knowledge the husband has coz this would determine how he treats the wives. If you truly loves the husband ,you won't consider divorcing him and have in mind that any woman that doesn't accept polygamy according to the sunah her religious rites are not complete. Since you loves your husband so much ,why didn't seek for transfer or leave her job and live her life for Allah swt and close to your husband ? Especially when marriage is about making sacrifices . Please try to get these books and read : " "You can be the happiest woman on earth " and " Don't be Sad". That he's marrying another wife doesn't mean he doesn't love you , putting sentiments and religion aside ,men are capable of loving women differently that's why you see some keeping other women and some Christians marrying more than one woman secretly and some openly . Advise her to get lectures on marriage from scholars like Mufti Ismail Menk and also attend Muslim gatherings anywhere youre living . You should not offend your creator for sake of any human being,the essence why Allah swt created us has been made known to us. May Allah swt ease your pains,make your feet firm in His deen and strengthen you . Ameen. And Allah knows best

Unknown said...

Listen up madam, u just don't av an excuse cos u knw wat u r into before u got married. A Muslim for dat mata. Itz ur cross..... so carry it.

Unknown said...

I'm sure you knew this will come someday. Why don't you give your life to Christ. There is only one Name given under heaven by which we must be saved and that is Jesus Christ!
Said!

Unknown said...

U are a Muslim so u must live with it bcos u will end of having more three women to share him with

Anonymous said...

Muslims can marry up to 4 wives.. So don't complain my dear..

TAMARA SPLASH said...

Pray to ur allah ie if he ll hear coz the only language allah understand is blood shed.

Unknown said...

Being a Muslim u understand what it takes, please pack well.

Anonymous said...

Come ooo! All you LIB readers saying she should expect it cos she's a Muslim and her religion accepts it, has any of you ever read the Quran or you are saying all this just by hear say from preachers or what? If yes quote the verse pls cos even the Bible has no place where it talked about marrying or staying with just one woman but if I lie quote the verse pls. Even the Quran gas conditions that men have turned to suit themselves.

Anonymous said...

green ambassador you are an idiot. what kind of sick God id allah. sweetheart do not cheapen yourself. marriage is between one man and one woman. How can a female, a woman bear to share a man. so now it is the same dick he would be using on both of you. Abeg run away while you can. respect yourself.

Anonymous said...

why are people saying selfish religion I mean don't we have Christians taking more than one wives?

Anonymous said...

Not bcos she's a muslim but certainly bcos she's human first and foremost so she( we, d rest of us indeed), should check carefully the " kind" of god or God we chose to serve...

Unknown said...

Well, i think Green Ambassador just said it all. I am not a Muslim, so listen to him/her.










#TeamBlessed#





knowurway.com said...

Good talk from Henry Eze, for once u re right... This msg is for the fmer post the accident between Dangote and God is good motors yesterday, Dangote driver was @ the wrong lane, becos he was the one going to Lagos he was not suppose to be @ the left lane as the road was demarcated. He was suppose to be @ the right lane. And this whole thin must stop! How long Dangote trailer will continue to kill innocent citizens just like that? This Dangote trailer has been causing problems to innocent Nigerians for many years now, no government has ever Sanction Dangote noting noting! This is bad this is evil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop killing our people Dangote!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was Dangote trailer that killed my friend michael, along Kalaba road 2005. God must ask u Dangote.

Anonymous said...

This is the result of distance marriage or relationship.It killed my eight years relationship. You just have to keep praying for him to always remember his family.

Anonymous said...

You asked for a divorce and he said No because he still loves you? You're a learner. Stay there and wait for him to happily give you your divorce now. Or what did you expect him to say? Obviously he wants to eat his cake and have it too. And you sure are helping him. Honestly, to me that's the worse thing my husband can do to me, and at that point I would have nothing to lose anyway. So he would have to Reuther choose me, or her. If he chooses her then I'm gone. Cus there's no way I'm sharing my home with another woman. Marriage no be by force now. And don't even think about waiting it out and praying, cus once he brings that woman in, she's never leaving his house. Ask the millions of Muslim sisters to tell you.

Anonymous said...

That is terrible advice!! OH MY GOD!

Unknown said...

some MEN ARE SELFISH fhaaaaa!!

Anonymous said...

Madam Go and sort yourself out.

Its either you accept it based on the teachings of Islam or get yourself a Toy Man to help you out or become a single Mom which you are already invariably.

Linda Take note!!!

ayomiposi said...

I wish I can like your comment over and over

Aunty gwegzzz.... said...

But Muslim women are taught from day one to share prick so I don't get d big deal. Since u have always lived separately with d man,u can always cope not having to see d other woman everyday. Face ur banking work and get a lover for urself.

Anonymous said...

You have been sharing him for a long time, u just didnt know. Soldiers are randy... Deal with it.

Anonymous said...

Not human feeling. You mean bitches feeling


You don't want the man to enjoy

But to be consuming expired punnany

Anonymous said...

Fuck that I'm not Muslim but when I'm tired, I'm taking a new bride

Anonymous said...

Men are not naturally ploygamous!!! They CHOOSE to be polygamous!!!!

Unknown said...

I am not blaming your bubby or the religion but all blame is on you. Why are you not staying with your hubby? Because of your career as a banker? Now read this Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. They are Work, Family, Health, friends and Spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four Balls – Family, Health, Friends and Spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it. By Coca Cola’s Former CEO, Bryan Dyson,

Anonymous said...

Thumbs up Zini...

Anonymous said...

Men are not naturally ploygamous!!! They CHOOSE to be polygamous!!!!

Anonymous said...

Like she said, he has already made up his mind. I don't think HE even wants to work it out...maybe the 2nd wife is already preggies. U never know wen it come to these Military men #smh#

Anonymous said...

You are a big fool.

Anonymous said...

Ohh! Yur so bitter a person, hateful creature_you must be Made in Hell. She already knows wat her religion entails all she is asking is an advice of how she can COPE with it!!!!!! So are you telling me that changing her religion solves her problem?? So Christian Men don't take 2nd wife even while still married???? Hypocrite! Colorado my a**

Anonymous said...

If your husband is a true practicing Muslim, he wouldn't go ahead to marry another wife without your permission. The religion allows a man to marry more than one wife but the permission of his wife (wives) is a significant criteria.

Anonymous said...

well,islam supports polygamy so it should not be new to new to you. Unless you are saying now that you want to God's view about the issue. which is one man,one wife.

Just Me said...

my dear, firstly, your religion permits polygamy, secondly he wants polygamy. it is not really all about religion but the man in question. there are many muslim men who are married to their wife only, no concubines not to talk of second wife talk less of third. discuss with your husbi, find out what the issues are, is it your work, distance, you don't "do him" sufficiently becos of distance, you know sex is very important in marriage; does he still love you enough, is he happy in the marriage?. try to get him talk to you, I mean try diagnose the matter and try find solution just like the doctor. military dudes, they love hot panties a lot with many partners becos of their work - he need relaxation after the days work which you are not there to provide, chances are that he may be under some influence to taste other punana. tread carefully though not to cause more issues in your marriage which no body prays for you. However if he is bent on taking a second wife, then try find happiness in your children and others things to engage your time, then pray to your God.

Unknown said...

Asalam alaykum dear sister. Our creator Alllah swt told us that : "HE will not burden a soul with more than it can bear ". With this verse of the Quran ,i would like to say that Allah wouldnt throw polygamy your way if it would cause you hardship. coping in polygamy depends on how strong ones Iman is . If you believe that you're in the marriage for Allah's sake and that it's Allah swt that wills everything you will be able to cope. Prayers, patience and Tawwakkul are the key factors . just pray to Allah swt for ease. And it also depends on how much knowledge the husband has coz this would determine how he treats the wives. If you truly loves the husband ,you won't consider divorcing him and have in mind that any woman that doesn't accept polygamy according to the sunah her religious rites are not complete. Since you loves your husband so much ,why didn't seek for transfer or leave her job and live her life for Allah swt and close to your husband ? Especially when marriage is about making sacrifices . Please try to get these books and read : " "You can be the happiest woman on earth " and " Don't be Sad". That he's marrying another wife doesn't mean he doesn't love you , putting sentiments and religion aside ,men are capable of loving women differently that's why you see some keeping other women and some Christians marrying more than one woman secretly and some openly . Advise her to get lectures on marriage from scholars like Mufti Ismail Menk and also attend Muslim gatherings anywhere youre living . You should not offend your creator for sake of any human being,the essence why Allah swt created us has been made known to us. May Allah swt ease your pains,make your feet firm in His deen and strengthen you . Ameen. And Allah knows best

Anonymous said...

Stupid girl, all this religion stuff is such nonsense and love he does not know what love is. Exactly what I say about 99 percent of Nigerian marriages they say love love love but have no idea what that entails. Love is commitment, communication, respect and friendship, he is not committed to you, nor does he have respect for you or a good friendship. No one who truly loves and cherishes their wife wants another and that's a fact. If you can pay your way by yourself move on maybe you will find someone who really loves you, only stay if you need the money. finish.
-my view-

Unknown said...

Thats the price of being a muslim

Eze said...

U are an idiot, na this kind thing u dey wish or sisters, guess u came from such home

Anonymous said...

Shes a muslim, so what was she expectn b4.Give ur lyf 2 Christ b4 its late

Anonymous said...

Wow and when she lands without a job the husband and his new wife will turn her and her kids into destitutes. My dear stay in Lagos and continue life as it is...remain independent. E Don happen already...don't lose ur peace over a man. Don't be distabilized and make rash decisions about leaving ur job because if he wanted u close he would have insisted all this while. Prepare for more wives. I am from a polygamous Muslim home so I know.

Unknown said...

u cant afford to share your man with another woman ke? my dear u have been sharing him a long time ago, he just wanna present the certificate for u ni, just accept it and love him back ooo,thats all u have todo now oo...goodluck

Unknown said...

sharing is caring

Anonymous said...

Ur husband wan another wife bcus u ar far.and he doesn't wan to cheat on u. So forget lagos and relocate to abuja.and show him more love . Like sayin sweet words to him. Food and takin care of him.then explain to him while u dont want polygamy. BUT REMEMBER GO TO ABUJA AND LIVE WIT UR HUSBAND.WAT u ARE U DOIN IN LAGOS WIT OUT UR HUSBAND.

Anonymous said...

Lol, you dey vex oo.

Oskirin said...

tank u green ambassadors.i av nothin 2 hard more.xcept dt u shd knw dt na army man u marry n d tendency dey dere say him go marry plenty wives.infact,xpect united nation family.

Anonymous said...

from my experience, you just have to keep living in the moment and enjoying what you both had before someone else came along cause they'll always be one girl/girls out there waiting to have your man/husband.

Anonymous said...

Tamara splash you are a retarded harebrained slut, speaking like that about God, may He punish you and put you in a situation to realise ur idiocy, stupid cunt like u

Anonymous said...

Tired of what exactly...what you're determined to repeat by taking another woman all over again...sorry you have NEVER found a real woman or real love. Above all you don't even love your own self in the first place.

Anonymous said...

if hes a billionaire, stay! if hes a broke ass nigga, serve him the papers

Anonymous said...

To the fools advising her to have a side-guy, are you blind to the part that the said man is Military? When he begins parading her on the street now, all of you will not be there ooo. That's when you will be speaking English - its just so wrong. Men sha and all sort of bla bla bla... You are advising her now. CONTINUE

Anonymous said...

Allah is the Arabic word for God (al ilāh, literally "the God"). The word has cognates in other Semitic languages, including Elah in Aramaic, ʾĒl in Canaanite and Elohim in Hebrew. So Allah is the name of God in another language it's not specific to religion

Anonymous said...

And to Inem that's the extent of your ignorance

Anonymous said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

...Dividends of Islam. And... the man lied when he told you he still loves you. If he loves you, he wont take another woman. Muslims dont know love. That is why they permit polygamy. Only muslims take so much joy in bombing and killing people because they dont know or have love. They dont understand what love feels like. The religion is more of a disaster than a blessing. Islam tagline is; Islam - killing people physically and emotionally since inception.

Gina said...

Don't mind all those saying that you are a Muslim you should have expected it, that is their level of Ignorance Speaking. Polygamy is not an automatic right of every Muslim man there are rules.

So the Question become as he followed the rules?

My advise - 1. You've been living apart for the past 7 years, Technically (in Islam -if you are apart from each other for more than 4 months) you are not married (your Nikkah is Annulled)- So it is not required for him to grant you a divorce - tell him this if you want

2.How long has he know this new woman? why does he want to marry her? did he inform you of some needs that you were not fulfilling? and are unable to fufill given time? is she a widow stranded and in need of care? If the answer to all this is NO then Islamically he cannot marry her.

3. Was he involved with her (has he slept with her?) before he proposed marriage to her if the answer to this is YES, then Again he cannot marry her because If he does he will be Living in ADULTERY (for the rest of his life)

4.Its time to dust up your Quran and read.You will get more from there. Islam says "SEEK YEE KNOWLEDGE", and I add "so that you may not be MISLEAD"

Finally because he is a Muslim does not automatically give him the right to be polygamous, there are rules that he must follow. So once you've done your research and you still decide to stay with him confront him with these facts and am sure he will have no choice but to stop the marriage (if he does not want to go to Hell)

Gina said...

Don't mind all those saying that you are a Muslim you should have expected it, that is their level of Ignorance Speaking. Polygamy is not an automatic right of every Muslim man there are rules.

So the Question become as he followed the rules?

My advise - 1. You've been living apart for the past 7 years, Technically (in Islam -if you are apart from each other for more than 4 months) you are not married (your Nikkah is Annulled)- So it is not required for him to grant you a divorce - tell him this if you want

2.How long has he know this new woman? why does he want to marry her? did he inform you of some needs that you were not fulfilling? and are unable to fufill given time? is she a widow stranded and in need of care? If the answer to all this is NO then Islamically he cannot marry her.

3. Was he involved with her (has he slept with her?) before he proposed marriage to her if the answer to this is YES, then Again he cannot marry her because If he does he will be Living in ADULTERY (for the rest of his life)

4.Its time to dust up your Quran and read.You will get more from there. Islam says "SEEK YEE KNOWLEDGE", and I add "so that you may not be MISLEAD"

Finally because he is a Muslim does not automatically give him the right to be polygamous, there are rules that he must follow. So once you've done your research and you still decide to stay with him confront him with these facts and am sure he will have no choice but to stop the marriage (if he does not want to go to Hell)

Unknown said...

Your husband is a Muslim so he can marry 4 wives.....lol

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