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Friday, December 26, 2008

Calabar Carnival + If a man wants you...

Hope you all are having a beautiful holiday. I'm having so much fun boring myself to death in this flat...lol. Christmas used to be so much fun, what happened? Oh yeah, I think I know what happened, my sibblings grew up. A few years ago, xmas eve, xmas day and boxing day were strictly for me and my sibblings. They'd get into my car and we'll drive around Lagos sight seeing, shopping, visiting fun places like the beach, the Apapa Amusement park (wonder if that place is still functional), go see a movie, have lunch at an expensive restaurant (I used to save for months for my xmas trips with my sibblings), and this happened for so many years until...was it two years ago? I told them 'hey guys get ready we're going to so so and so place', they looked at me and said 'you and who? please find your own way and we'll do the same'. lol. My sisters grew up...even my 16yr old baby sister now wants to hang out with her friends instead of her darling older sister...oh well, what can a girl do? ;) I have to find ways to entertainment myself now I guess...

Anyway, I'd like to say a big thank you and happy holidays to everyone who sent me a text message yesterday. My sis told me I got a lot of Merry Xmas messages from my blog readers and facebook pals...I haven't read your messages 'cos I'm not around her, but I will and I appreciate you guys. Gracias!

Speaking of a fun xmas, I hear Calabar is the place to be. I've never been there but I've seen pictures from their xmas carnivals and what fun it is...

If you don't believe me then check out pix from their 08 Calabar Carnival...




Rita Dominic

Rita Dominic, Ramsey Noah, Pete Edochie, Florence Ita-Giwa

Ramsey Noah




The Governor of the State




Pix thanks to Ekpo Ekpo...
I also hear there's another carnival going on right now in that state. It started 8:00am this morning and it will continue till 11:55pm Sunday, December 28, 2008.
Location is Cross River State,Nigeria.
The Street is Mary Slessor Ave.-Ndidem Usang Iso Road-Mcc Road-Murtala Mohammed Highway
I hear a lot of celebs are there. I wish I was there instead of this boring Lagos. Oh well, maybe next year. Will definitely get you pictures from the carnival...

From that to something that isn't xmas-like ;)
The former EFCC boss, Nuhu Ribadu has been dismissed from the Nigerian Police Force. First he was demoted, now dismissed. Critics say he was selective while discharging his duites while serving as EFCC chairman. I'm going to come back to this subject after xmas 'cos there's a lot I don't understand about this case...

From that to another man who isn't spending xmas with his family...
EFCC has arraigned former Aviation Minister, Femi Fani Kayode on a 47 count charge of embezzlement, something to the tune of about N230 million. Femi Fani Kayode was also a former Culture and Tourism Minister. If he's convicted, it's life inprisonment according to lawyer Festus Keyamo. He's been remanded in prison till Dec 29th.
Sad! I used to like listening to him speak...

Anyway, merry xmas to everyone in prison and hospitals. God be with you all.

And finally here's something someone sent to me that I'd like to share with you all, especially the ladies.
Check it out...

If a man wants you...
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies and to men who can handle it....
You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.

What stood out for me was 'You're not supposed to be friends with an ex who didnt treat you well'. I don't know if I agree with that statement. I'm friends with an ex who didn't treat me well because I believe that when you hold resentment toward another person, you are bound to that person by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free. I'm a big advocate for forgiveness.

But that's just me...who agrees that you shouldn't be friends with an ex who didn't treat you well?
Did you learn anything from this article?
Pls share your thoughts.
Meanwhile if you want to know the Top 100 People, Places, Events and Things That Shaped 2008, check it out here...http://ayenithegreat.wordpress.com/
Once again...HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
See y'all later!
Kisses!

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

thanks for this linda, thank you so much

Anonymous said...

you can forgive but you dont have to be friends

tosyn bucknor said...

we havnt spoken in so long
forgive me!

Anonymous said...

Linda, thanks for always updating ur blog. The Calabar celebration looks so fun. When I travel to Naija next year for Christmas, I hope I can attend.

classybabe said...

I am not friends with my ex that didnt treat me well-We just say hi.I have forgiven him but I haven't really forgotten the experience.I can understand where the article is coming from on that issue.

Anonymous said...

mehn...after all these years, Ramsey Noah still has it!!!

Anonymous said...

is ramsey still married???

Anonymous said...

calabar rocksssssss

truth said...

You certainly do not have to be friends with him especially if he treated you badly. That doesn't mean you haven't forgiven him. My philosophy is this: forgive him and severe the link. no xmas, birthday messages. No random "I just wanted to say hello" texts. They are unnecessary and should be nipped in the bud.

My fav is "don't tell a man everything or he'll use them against you". Clearly this rule applies to the dumb men out there but is very true.

Anonymous said...

Linda darling! compliments of the season... I need a big favour from you... I'm planning for my wedding in March and still haven't got my wedding dress!!! I'm planning on going to the UK or America in January and wanted to find out if you could get your readers to give me tips and hints on bridal shops to go... I hear most of gowns take about 4 months to order and was wondering if people could give tips about those that one could go, try and buy... wedding sales outlets would be particularly useful... Hope you can help with this... thanks a lot and God Bless.

Anonymous said...

of course, i agree...u should not be friends with an ex who treated u badly...u can forgive but move on...why could he have his cake and eat it to...and what kind what of friendship would you call that...well for me i am not friends with my ex who treated my badly...i don't have time for that...!

Vera Ezimora said...

I loved several of them...

If a man wants you, nothing will keep him away

Don't be friends with an ex

Don't borrow someone else's man

Don't commit to a man who does not give you everything. I soooo agree.

Change comes from within.

....Lovely.

So sad about Ribadu.

ibidun said...

It takes a very special person to forgive and be friends with someone who did us wrong Like Linda said that's the best way to move on

truth said...

To the anny. planning a wedding:

Where in America will you possibly be heading to? That would help readers narrow down the options served.

Let me know...

truth said...

I'll have to disagree with you Ibidun. It takes a very special person TO FORGIVE. Period. The second half (whether to keep in touch or not) doesn't earn one any credibility. It's a personal decision which, in most cases I have witnessed, turns out to be absolutely unneccessary. For some, it's a mere tool for self-approval.

Linda Ikeji said...

when I say friends with an ex, im not talking about calling to say hello, hanging out or doing stuff true friends do, absolutely not.just responding positively whenever they reach out a hand of friendship to u...
@tosyn...we need to hang out
@anon 2:29...congrats babe...hope my readers can help you...all the best

Miss Maple said...

I actually have remained friends with my ex's, in-fact my last bf who also happens to be my most serious relationship is my best friend. I believe that whether or not you choose to remain friends completely depends upon the reason of the breakup. If the guy/girl cheated, lied, or treated you with great disrespect, then you may feel that some time away from them would be helpful. If the breakup was a mutual thing and you two still truly care for each other, then keep the friendship going. Personally, I do not have any enemies or people that I refuse to talk to. Life is too short to hold grudges and I believe in being the better person in bad situations. Even if I was treated badly (and believe me I've had some bad incidents) I forgive the other person and move on with my life.

Anonymous said...

@ Truth: Thanks a lot truth.I'm planning on going to New York...

truth said...

To the wedding anny:

I live in a different state way south dear. I was hoping my 'city-sensitive' gown research would be of use to you.

Anyway...

http://nymag.com/weddings/planner/2008/winter/sample-sales/

*Be sure to read reviews on the stores.
*You should find some great sales in Jan/Feb. Since you're out of the country try visiting the websites and calling the stores first to clarify answers to any questions you may have regarding payment etc.

*http://nymag.com/listings/stores/kleinfeld/
- i read some reviews on kleinfeld. In summary, they have a good collection but the staff can be very pushy in making sure you commit to a dress before you leave the store. lol.However that hasn't stopped people from visiting the place.

Good luck and even though you are crunched for time, I hope you find that beautifully perfect dress!

baffer said...

pls i would luv to show up at the Cal carniver of 09...

Not all men are Dogs,not only women should do the bending...pls trow more lite ooooooo

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