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Monday, October 27, 2008

Are the children justified?

I have a friend who's dad has 6 children from 5 different women. He had two in his 20's, later got married, had two with his wife, while married, had another kid outside his marriage. Wife found out and left him. He had another one in his 50's with a fifth baby mama.

Now he's in his 60's, very sick, needs serious medical attention and only two of his six children give a shit.

His first born child says he's seen his dad only three times in his entire life. He hardly visited while he was growing up...in fact he denied the child as his initially. The second has never seen him 'cos her mum took her abroad when she was a toddler. Th 3rd and 4th are the ones who give a shit...he married their mum and they grew up with him.

The 5th (my friend) is married to a rich dude, but doesn't acknowledge the man as her father. He had her while still married so he kinda never really acknowledged her as his daughter. The last is just a teenager. He too doesn't give a shit. He, like his half brothers and sisters say he never played any role in their lives. They all grew up with different fathers. Now he needs them to take care of his health and put food on his table.

The only two who care don't have that much money so they went to all their half brothers and sisters and every single one of them turned their back on their father...

Are the children justified?

Photo of the day

P Diddy and his twin girls. Is this right or wrong?
Source: bossip.com
I ask again, are the children justified?

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

His kids are more than justified

Nkiru Judith said...

dem say may we no dey have plenty chirren outside, we no dey hear... lol. seriously, the children are more than justified. forgiveness does come in and they can only pray for their father to get well. cause it might be, cause it might be, i repeat again, God's judgement upon the man and maybe the kids have a msg from God not to assist him, who knows. I am not one of the kids and then again i wld want to agree that most naija pple dey religious, so im fit be the message wey dem get.

anyway, i pray that their father gets well miraculously, which is possible as miracles does take place in Naija at least, when one visits & hears about all the known and popular crusades, for real.

I pray that the man in question finds peace and hopefully reconciles with his estranged children.

Wow..children outside of wedlock and with many women. i cant judge sha, just saying..

pink gloves said...

hell the man deserves whatever happened to him. To save his own face, he disowned his own kids. He is callous. He is simply reaping what he sowed. It is a parents duty to care for their offsprings to the best of their ability. Obviously if it was left to the father alone, those children will not be alive today.

Anonymous said...

The children have every right to react that way to their father BUT they should forgive him,sow mercy so that they also can reap mercy,.....who knows,any of them can fall into the same circumstances as their dad's in future.

kelechi said...

what the fxxk are u peeps talking about??? your father is your father no matter what!!!

Anonymous said...

linda, i think that photo of pdiddy and his daughters is very disturbing.i cant understand why any reasonable father would want to potray his young daughters in that light all in the name of show business.

if u ask me, i would beg that you take the pix off.

thank u.

Anonymous said...

I agree with anon. 5:35 pm comment. Diddy should know better than taking naked pictures of his twins girls. Lets not perpetuated such ignorance, please remove the picture. Some perverts would get off such a picture. Disgusting and very disturbing.

Gloria said...

P.Diddy should know better than to take pictures of his baby girls naked and share on the internet. Paedophiles would wank to their hearts' delights over it. In this day and age, that's so UNWISE. Read what people have to say about it here http://madnews.wordpress.com/2008/10/26/4336/

Also, Jennifer Hudson's 7 year old nephew has been found dead in a car. It's heart breaking. Check it out here: http://mrpaparazzi.com

Gloria said...

Sorry, it's http://www.mrpaparazzi.com/

Anonymous said...

first of, that picture with diddy and his kids is sooooo disturbing like wat is he thinking...if he wanted to put bowties on their necks shebi he should have atleast covered them up now ah ah he looks like their pimp...na wa o Jesus take the wheel....

now the children are not rily justified for not helping their dad, i mean it depends on how they choose to look at it, they can simply see it as helping out an old man in need out of the goodness of thier hear as they have nothing to loose by helping the old man....as opposed to viewing it as helping and old father who did not play a major role in their lives and must now be 'punished' for his actions by failing to help

if they are xtians ask them WWJD? (wat would jesus do ) lol

GBEMI said...

hi LI,i quite understand where those kids are comin from...how hurt n reduced they wld feel...i always felt hat way 2 ma dad...i hated him so much that i wld not want 2 give him food but three wks ago i came 2 the realisation that as much as i feel i am hurtin him n makin him pay 4 his sins,i am also hurtin maself.believe me,al the times i treated ma Dad bad, i felt reduced..empty at the end of the day...
i wish 2 thank God 4 makin me see reason that we should never be judgemental 2 pple let alone d pple close 2 us..lets carry on with life...none of us in this life is justified enough 2 benefit from the MERCIES of our heavenly father...some pple are still homosexuas,lesbians,fornicators n all...if God wld judge us accordin 2 our everyday dids,hmmmmmmm
plz tell them 2 be wise enough 2 show love n mercy now that he is alive coz when they come 2 terms with forgivin him wen his dead..it wld be a trauma 2 much 4 them 2 handle...learn from his mistakes n move on with life...shit hapens..we take so many shits from outsiders et alone our father...hope i cld reach a soul
GM

Anonymous said...

Although the children are really justified who knows if its the day of reckoning that has caught up with the man. There is the law of Karma. However,they should know that he is still their biological father. This is because the guilt of him dying due to their nonchalant attitudes may linger on forever.From my perspective, whether he was there or not he still remains their father.They probably would not have been in this world without him.

Anonymous said...

aww thats so sad... I pray Jennifer hudson finds solace and be comforted. Na wa for this P diddy sef, im no get shame???? Eyahhh i pray this man recovers from his sickness. It is nemesis eventually catching up with him and now he needs aids from the abandoned children. But honestly the children who are financially bouyant should help him, they should think of it as if they were in the position. Abeg do not pay tit for tat. I am sure if you ask the man, he would say he was probably jinxed or under spell. U know somethings no be ordinary eye?

Anonymous said...

Who defines what is right or wrong? The society or what, who?
If the women went with an irresponsible man so be it. But let nobody judge. Also, does the man give a shit, y should we give a shit. We need to start minding our bizness.
Temi

Kpakpando said...

The man was a sperm donor, not a father.

Anonymous said...

Don't get me started on Naija deadbeat Dads. I'm a product of one, so I have a every right to say...They are sooooooooo freaking justified!!!

However, God forgives. I will never treat my dad the way I will spoil my mother rotten, but if he was dying in the hospital or starving I will help out. After all I'm thankful that he made me the strong independent woman that I am, by not being there for me. If you ask my little sister on the other hand the same question, She will laugh and say heck no I"m not helping him. I can't fault her for it.

Anonymous said...

good for him... but all the same the kids should help , if they have , you don't pay evil with evil .. In his sick bed his conscience will judge him
wendu

Nonesuch said...

why is P. diddy fully clothed and his daughters naked or almost naked (cos i'm thinking they must be wearing diapers)?

I really do not know if the children are justified but I would rather look at it this way. Our actions and deeds are seeds which we and our generations unborn will reap bountifully from.( either positive or negative) I would suggest we all cultivate the habit of sowing good seeds. I would also suggest they look disappionately at the man and ask themselves, if he was a random Joe Six Pack( apologiese to Sarah Palin) from your church or office or local club or whatever associaion we belong to and you hear his story of needs and cry for help would you help?

It might be a little late trying to build a father/child relationship but then lets us all do the little we can to help a fellow human being regardless of the fact that he is an *@%#&

The siblings who are willing to help and have no means should also not play the emotional game cos that will further alienate the ones who cant be bothered. Instead they should appeal to their sense of reason and hopefull they will be able to rise above the pain and hurt and do the needful.

Anonymous said...

all i can say is allow it people !!

Anonymous said...

allow it , he take good care of his kids regardless.

Anonymous said...

What a dad! Na wa O! Even though he never wanted them,he should have at least cared about their welfare.Now he wants them to be there for him.

Well...the deed has already been done.They should forgive him and move on...as long as their dad suffers,they will suffer too...I mean emotionally. It is only when you forgive and let go that true peace will come to you.They should just let go and take care of him until he says bye bye.To err is human and to forgive is devine.

'Yar Mama said...

Any man can be a father, it takes a real man to be a dad. You owe NOTHING to a sperm donor!!!!

R4Biz said...

This is not a case of justification. This is about forgiveness. The kids should forgive and learn from their father's mistakes. If their father was a billionaire but struck down with illness, would they be same way with him as they are now? They wouldn't. They'd all be at his bedside 24/7 or risk being written out of his will. Money is the root of all evil comes to mind… don’t ask me why. Plz, don’t stop me. Just let me rant and lash out(!) I believe in solving problems with a sledge hammer …as in being brutally honest….I once was brutally honest to a ‘sensitive’ police man and nearly cuffed me! …almost got arrested for freedom-of-expression-running-my-mouth-at-him… When did it become unlawful to call Mr. Policeman, “zombie” ??!!…I leave that story till another time! … I belief they should do their best for their father cos after the man is long gone and when they are older they should be able to say to themselves they did not become like their father. If I was in their shoes, I would time and the things he never gave to me. The kids are still angry. Anger is a negative energy that would do them no good. It will eat at their conscience when they are older and by then it would have been too late. The kids are not justified to hold a grudge or anger against their biological father. Justification belong to God whose basis is forgiveness. Forgiveness confirms our new relationship with God. Judgment belongs to God, not us. Even God himself, so high and might, forgives, all the time. Why do we ordinary mortals find it hard to forgive? Arrogance? Forgetfulness? I can’t stand it when people are focused in their tiny little world and fail to see the bigger picture. Their future is bigger than the forgiveness they can grant but are fail to grant. ..*the eyes weeps rivers of tears when I come across foolishness** .. If I were in similar situation as those kids, in the mist of my internal pain, I’d hold no grudge, even though I badly want to get even. I will tell my heart we have to forgive so that the negative energy does not hold us back or slow us down. My mind and heart does what I ask. I am in charge ::: Internal dialogue: “Why must we forgive!”. “Cos I said so!” :::…I’m not a saint. It’s our duty as humans to forgive. It can be hard sometimes to forgive certain wrongs, but all things are possible if you put your mind to it. Can I shameless go to God for favour or forgiveness if I’m holding another man or woman to ransom by not forging their misdeed? Tell the kids they have in their hands an opportunity which they must use sensibly – forgiveness. They should forget the past. Forgiveness is like a boomerang. Grant it and it’ll surely come back to you when you most need it. Their father’s life is ending. There life is beginning. Someday, they’d be in a situation where they’d need forgiveness, too. I hope they’d receive. They wouldn’t want history repeating itself with their own children. Forgiveness will do their conscience a lot of good, really. May God be with us all and forgive us our foolishness.

Anonymous said...

Linda, ur blog dey sweet me sha. Anywayz, let me start with diddy(whateva he dey call himself), he don craze o, he needs help, why will he take photo of his twins naked, na wah for Kim Porter, wetin do am. Let that man suffer, the children are more than justified, when the man couldn't control his thing, and he dey impregnate the women, he didn't think of the consequences. My uncle is in the same situation at this point, at a time while he is married to my aunt, he had different women and they all had children for him, and he didn't care, I guess he was been the sugar daddy. Then his money don finish, and he is very sick now,none of his children care either and honestly I don't feel sorry for him at all. These men need to learn their lesson.

Anonymous said...

Hi Gf,
This is a knotty issue cause it has to do with emotions. It is not easy especially for the first born who the man did not acknowledge initially. This is the kind of story nollywood should focus on, so that men can learn to think with their brain and not their third leg.
However, 'two wrongs do not make a right' (abi how dem dey talk am sef?), so I think all the children should help their dad. Forgiving is usually easier than holding on to the grudge cause of the guilt feelings that may occur after the man's eventual demise.
After all, we often render financial help to people we don't know from Adam.
LInda, I love you, talk your own!

hadiza said...

i think d children shd 4give him. dey shldnt repay evil wit evil.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm,,,,Linda where and when do you come up with all these stories. Anyway, let me start by saying that the man deserves every piece of shit his children are giving him. He's just a sperm donor and not a father nor a dad. It takes more than that for a man to qualify as such. I don't know why in nigeria there's such a huge proprtion of irresponsible men who call themselves father. I'm a product of one and what I saw my mum go thru, i'd never wish it on my worst enemy and you know they even have the gall atimes to blame it on evil spell instead of cautioning their third member. I almost decided not to get married cos there didn't seem to be point for doing so...as for those, who say the children should forgive, how i wish it was that easy. In my case, i had a father who was a senior manager in a bank, but he never put down money for food, we were always going around in bedraggled clothes; i wore palm slippers throughout my stay in the university, he was never proud of us and was always hding us from his friends and colleagues at work, he used to wake up early in the morning and curse us that we will not get very far in life... Well, i'm glad that we proved him wrong and God also proved him wrong. We're very succesful now and can afford to buy most of the things he felt he was denying us. I remember there was a time when he kicked our mum and us out for a year and he never bothered to come looking or asking about our welfare. If i start this man's story, i'd never finish...u can never get rid of the bitterness completely, but you can try by not letting it take control of ur life. We got the best revenge ultimately, cos my mum ended up a very wealthy woman despite all the hardships and now the same man who left his home some few years back has come home to roost. Nobody went to beg him, his so called selfish family brought him back to his senses...what a life!

Anonymous said...

For the person that said your father is still your father and should be helped, should be lucky they are not one of the children.

My father kicked my mother out and then married someone else. He stopped paying my school fees at age 13 and my sisters at age 8. I went through hell, watching my mum choice between food, clothes or education. Watching my sisters going to state school and me to a private school, watching my sisters being raped by armed robbers ‘cos we lived in an area infested with armed robbers, but it was all my mum could afford. I saw myself through 8years in the UK, paying my fees, supporting my sisters and mum in Nigeria and no single call from the so called father… I saw my sisters dropping out of university and getting pregnant at 19yrs because there was no father figure in their lives and my mum just could not cope with them being very difficult. I watched armed robbers invade my house several times, with my mum being hurt. I watched men old enough to be my father making passes at me, because I needed money to pay my fees and better my life. I struggled through my education owning almost 25,000pds and yet I had a father who did not care. Now I have a good job, he wants a slice of the cake. I even tried to honour him when I got married and he ended up ruining the wedding preparations and the day itself, and yet someone says he is still my father…. I don’t hate him, but I can’t love him. I don’t wish him well, but I am not sure I can give him water, shelter or clothes.

I pray none of you experience the selfishness of a father that thinks it is ok to abandon his children, for whatever reason. He is still married and I heard his wife’s son (from another relationship) now bears my father’s surname and attends a private university (my father pays for it). I still have two sisters that have not completed their university education and yet we have a father that is alive and kicking. Like I said, I pray you are not an “abandoned child by a parent”…. The reality is worse than you can ever imagine.

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Anonymous said...

no they are not. look they are nude!! infront of the cameras already. Heres also to remind y'll abt 1st nov. all saints day (ask anything from ur patron saint am sure ul receive....well dats all we do, ask ASK aSK) & 2nd nov. all souls day (pray for dear lost ones).

Nwamaka said...

We don't know how much money he needs for his health bills, I have met many sick old men that I barely new, and I sure was not ready to bankrupt myself to help them

Even though he is their biological father, that does not make him their father in their mind. It difficult to ask someone to drop a lot of money to help a man that they probably consider a stranger.

I feel they are justified whether they decide to help or not. But it seems like a never wanted to be their father, but now that he needs money he is ready to acknowledge them. I grew up with a stepfather, and i will always consider him my REAL father

Vera Ikeji said...

I dont understand P.Diddy's concept. Is he telling us that he is so broke that he cant afford to clothe his kids or is he telling us that he is worthy of wearing clothes and his kids aint? (For those who dont understand, I am being sarcastic).

Again, what's his concept?

fendizzle/StelteQ said...

After reading that story i sort the opinion of some friends. Some agreed with children while some disagreed. As for me i agree with those children completely. The man should reap what he sowed. As for P Diddy and his kids, i see nothing out of the ordinary. Some celebs might not want to sell the pix of their children but a whole lot of them do it. As for the fact that those kids are kind of naked in the pix and as such might encourage peadophiles, the fact remains that we have a lot of sick people in our society that dont need to see a kid naked to atempt their trade. Or is it because it's P diddy. In Abuja there is company called Chilren Affair, on their sign post is a pix of some naked children playing and parents still go there to buy, so let us stop decieving our selves.

Ms. Catwalq said...

anyone can be a father, it takes more than sperm to be a dad.

I keep saying it that just because you birthed or fathered someone is no guarantee that they will love you. We love only those with whom we have connection, history and sacrifice.....

what does he want? now, he wants to be a dad when he needs something. Give me a fucking break. This is the kind of bullshit naija people like to allow...

Anonymous said...

Dey re justified,if i were 2 be in their shoes,i'll do worst.Do u know how it feels 2 grow up with fatherly love?

Yewande Atanda said...

some fathers don't worth it!!! i'll do same if iam in that position.

Anonymous said...

defintely wrong (the pic). what's he doing? pimpin' them kids? there's something tasteless about this photo.

as for the man with several kids. well this babymamma thing never helps.

Anonymous said...

lolo, d children should take good care of their mama well, well. yes, d children are justified.