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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The type of brodas who turn us off by Doreen

Someone sent this to me as an article for my mag's next edition. I love it! And thought to share with you guys. It's definitely coming out in the mag, but you guys can have a first glimps...
Enjoy and tell me what you think about her perception of men...

Cocktail of Men...the type of brothas who turn us off! By Doreen. (Who actually is a famous blogger...u guess the blog name...ain't telling o..lol)

I have called London home for the past 6 years, and the one thing I appreciate the most from this cosmopolitan city is the diversity. There’s people from different parts of the world, every continent and being able to mingle in the midst of these people, has made me appreciate different cultures, foods and most importantly men. There are so many but so few men as well. I do have a certain type of men that I’m attracted to, the suave, debonair, well-groomed type, who are ambitious and driven. Then there are the types of brothas that are turn-offs and well with my girls we came up with quite a list of the guys of these guys that just make us want to scream and shake them up a bit.
Here goes the list:

1. Mr Lousy. This type of guy will talk about his bedroom skills, get you all hot and bothered, fantasizing and all that BUT once you get down to it, he really doesn’t know jack. He’s the type of brotha you don’t want to be with after you’ve had a long dry spell because you feel like castrating him. And he could also be Mr Too Small, Mr Come To Quick and Mr Cant Kiss

2. Mr. Brag-a-lot. All he seems to talk about is I got this, I drive this, I live in the suburbs, I make so much money, and all that jazz. Now don’t men know that its the fickle minded females that are actually impressed by this? I wouldn’t care whether you drove a Bentley or rode a BMX, seriously, its your gray matter thats important and whats in your heart.

3. Mr. Private Lover. He acts like he’s so into you in private, all over you and all that, but in public you’re just another chick he “associates” with. He’s the type once in public will stand close but not close enough, and acts like you just go to the same church or something.

4. Mr Every female that comes up to him is his ‘friend’. Yes, more like he has at least slept with her and now they are cool like that.

5. Mr. My ex hurt me so let’s be ‘friends’ forever. If you not ready to be in a relationship that is perfectly fine but stop stringing woman along. And he also is known to use the line ‘Lets go with the flow’! He can also be known as Mr Commitment-Phobia, he really tries avoid having any definition to what you have, calling you his ‘close friend’ or friend with benefits. He however, will get jealous should you try to get your own game on, expressing how he’s so fond of you, and just needs time to heal.

6. Mr. Texts. He doesn’t answer the phone when you call but will text you asking” what’s up”. This is a pet-peeve for me. What’s wrong with picking up your phone? Its more likely because he just cant ‘talk’ at that point in time, which is always when you call. This is in the same league as Mr Private Number and calls that his ‘business’ number..really dude..do you think I’m buying that excuse??

7. Mr, 419. Yes, I respect a man who hustles but why can’t it be a legal hustle? Since he really cant come up and say he really specialises in the fraudulent financial sector, the new code word is ‘I’m into properties’. He stutters when you show interest in his business ‘acumen’ and pose questions. He won’t even complain about the credit crunch and property devaluing, right??Why is that Mr Entrepreneur?

8. Mr. Stop Completely Calling You but then when he sees you face to face will ask: WHY YOU AIN’T BEEN CALLING ME? Now, if i ever met this man, I’d tell him its the same reason he aint been calling.

9. Mr I live alone. He will tell he has his own place but will always make an excuse when you want to come over because he’s probably living with different women or just his wife.

10. Mr. I coming over to chill at YOUR house. This is the type of brotha who once he realises you have your own place he wants to come over, thats no problem, but there’s the type who doesn’t take you on no kind of date and sees him coming to chill over at your place as the date ALL the time he comes over. He’s also usually Mr No. 9.

11. Mr I Aint Married. He will say he’s just going through a divorce, him and his wife now sleep in separate room, and just talking because of the children. His divorce will never come through and as silly as this might sound many a females have been his victim. He’s also could be No. 9 and 10 put together.

12. Mr. Liar (about E-v-e-r-y thing) some people just lie for nothing. The worst part is when you find out the truth. In this day-in-age where information is just a google away, why don’t they know that we can find out the truth?

13. Mr Dont Want a Woman With Children-But has three of his own with three different women.

14. Mr Philanthropic. He’s the one guy who doesn’t hide his flirtatious activities, even flirts with your friends and sleeps with any female if she lets him but tries to act like he got such high morals when it comes to women.

15. Mr. You think you’re too good for me? He’s the one who tries to demean and disrespect you just because you have DENIED to give him your number.
Now, I’m not saying London is full of just these 15 types of men, no sir. There the eligible, downright, honest, proud-to-be your man type of brothas and to all those who have them I say hold them dear and appreciate them.

So ladies, what do you think? She got it right or right or right? lol

23 comments:

Made in London said...

I am not feeling the writeup. Quite boring imho. Check out alaye scoro's blog for a decent write up...or at least what a decent write up should read like.

ShonaVixen said...

hey girl!!You've been TAGGED!!Much love xoxo

Hair Azara said...

hahahaha thats sooo true!!!

LoLu said...

She is damn right! And they reside everywhere...there are even more sef.
Yet to find out which one 'mine' is, make l reach london, l go tell una.

SOLA said...

Well she's got them right on and really the list is endless... Som bruvaz really!
Gud research lady, mo' oil to thy lamp... lol..
Hi Linda, I've bn ANONYMOUS for a long while & now uv med me a BLOGGER (stl teething dou, u gerrit?). lol..
Kp it goin gal, U r so luvd.

princekay123 said...

Linda
That's cool. Please watch out for the REMIX. I'll start working on 15 types of Lagos Ladies. Expect it on your box soon.

-xXx- L'amour -xXx- said...

wow!! im first :)

first time being here too..love the blog!! this post was extremly hillarious!! u speak truth my sister!!...i couldn't help but agree more with the first three!!! gosh..men need to be taught lessons!!!

take good care xxx

Excitedjade said...

Linda Darling, she got it ALL right jare... most of the guys here are like that.

Will ring u over the weekend, ok?

Anonymous said...

Please God bless my granny today. this is the kind of knowlegde my granny calls useless and harmfull knowlegde. this lovely sister doreen "know all" and i bet is probably she will still be single.

it is good fun though becos she painted the many people she has observed or come accross.

life sha! sometimes you want to thank God you are not a woman and so do not have to put up with these drama kings then you know that the female species have their own drama queens. and sadly being nigerians dont help either.

ababoypart2 said...

Missed out Mr Honest, Faithful, Hardworking, God loving and nice. I am sure that broda does exist somewhere, just like the other Mr's listed. Shame the Mr's listed seem to be in the majority.

'd said...

interesting but what about the ladies??

disbaby said...

Fantastic article...she more than got it right...i actually was able to pick out a few guys i know and place them in the different categories...one needs to learn from this...

'Mide said...

YUP!!! She got it damn right!!!!

Anonymous said...

not too bad ....the only one i had problem with was the number one.. yeah the man might talk because he thinks his good with the female body....but on getting down, you realize his not getting the G spot... but u know what ..... the guy might have a very wonderful personality and all other character in place .....would u say because he cant make love so you booth him. ... As a lady and if you love the guy your place is to tell him what to do and how to touch you ...there is no big deal in that ...... life is more than,he can sex well.... and all that .... na only sex person go chop.... although it's a total package but there are some things you can actually do to help in that area.... A guy that has more than 60% of what you want in a man should not be written off.

wendu

cococj said...

hi,

Everything she said, is all true.
i wonder how they learn slick methods, is there a special 419-school for this?? hiss

Anonymous said...

agree with 11.25, it was a bit boring....saw you yday at posh cafe, u were looking good but u need to take out ur weave, it's a bit old.

QMoney said...

Hey linda,sorry to dissapoint you but am not feeling d idea of puttin it in ur mag.av seen this thing on print and in a blog before.
one would luv to see refreshing stuff not sumtin that has been read over and over again

Anonymous said...

i agree with qmoney...but besides the fact that it is old...it lacks literary merit, i understand that it is supposed to be fun, however, it sounds amateurish and just plain dumb...forgive my bluntness but this does nt quite cut it.

Anonymous said...

This write up is a monumental failure!

truth said...

For your mag, a big no no.

Just the plain 'truth'.

AustynZOGS said...

Good stuff for your mag.It's quite funny,but true.There are lot of guys we know who have exhibited these analysed traits,instead of comdemming them or calling them to order,we hail them as 'superstars' or 'happening guys'.Grow up,get refined,Mr Naija,home and abroad!

Anonymous said...

The write-up is not something new at all. I've read articles like that in almost every magazine, every blog, every website! I'm really tired of reading something like that! The list is even more than that, if you really want to get into it. And the list of bad stuffs about girls is even more. I'm a guy, and I'll tell you that women have a lot of baggage than men. Abeg.

Anonymous said...

I would simply say its ok.It lacks good substance though,others have written on this topic before and in a better way.