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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

What an ass! +Typical Nigerians + Vocabulary

Hey everyone, my blogging has been scanty in the last week or so...I know...it's work!

But I'll make it up to u guys! Will bring u the latest gossip in Naija...soon!

Meanwhile, Someone tell me that ass ain't for real...it can't be, right?


Is it? what do u think?

Typical Nigerians...lots of laughter!!!
Check it out!
Anambra I-pod





How to get hot water in Ibadan
Kano ambulance
Calabar Trailer
Sokoto- The new Toyota




Widen your vocabulary
I'm learning a lot from these...check it out
"ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS"
1. Cigarette -
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love Affairs -
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
3. Marriage -
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and a woman gains her master's.
4. Lecture -
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
5. Conference -
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
6. Compromise -
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he got the biggest piece.
7. Tears -
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power .
8. Dictionary -
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
9. Ecstasy -
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
10. Classic -
A book which people praise, but do not read.
11. Smile -
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
12. Office -
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
13. Yawn -
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
14. Etc. -
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
15. Committee -
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
16. Experience -
The name men give to their mistakes.
17. Atom Bomb -
An invention to end all inventions.
18. Philosopher -
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
19. Diplomat -
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
20. Opportunist -
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
21. Optimist -
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
22. Pessimist -
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
23. Miser -
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
24. Father -
A banker provided by nature.
25. Criminal -
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
26. Boss -
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
27. Politician -
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
28. Doctor -
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
29. Computer Engineer -
One who gets paid for reading such mails......!
Hope everything is going well with you? Thank God!
See you soon!

14 comments:

Ajide Ogo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Toni Payne said...

lol.. u have to admit, nigerians are innovative people. hehehe

Anonymous said...

where ur sense of humour. nigerians and their self righteous attitude.linda pls ignore.i tot it was quite funny

ugo said...

WTF?????where u got that woman? that arse cant be real&if it is,then darrrrrm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mixme said...

Where did u get that pic from? I luv bum, but that's gross.

Anonymous said...

ajide ogo, why are you concerned over what a non-african would say if they come across the pictures. Is it not the truth? Did she make up the pictures? Obviously the answer is no. Rather than criticizing Linda, you should be pressing the government for reforms. I thought Nigeria is the world's 6th largest oil producing nation. Damn! Where does all that oil money go? Oh, I just remembered, it is used to furnish that garden estate in London, Abuja, America; and to fund the most exquisite parties the world has ever seen. Not to mention, those huge foreign bank accounts.

Anonymous said...

i tot linda ikeji.com was supposed to be a forerunner for positivity in Nigeria.

omo said...

i was a hater of linda ikeji. now im a lover.welldone girl

omo said...

im sending you an email, make sure u holla back

Anonymous said...

hahahaha linda abeg you no go kill me with laughter oh. this was the picture i told you about that dbanj put on his facebook. remember i told you that she even wore a swim suit. lol. the arse is real oh abi can't you see how proud she is of it?! lmao!!!

Your moimoi loving friend in London. *still laughing*

Ajide Ogo said...

the posting suggests 'typical Nigerians' ..which is not true.

shola pacheco said...

nice one linda,i really like the father bit,a banker provided by nature,except than his own bank is deposits only,really nice

Uzo said...

That bum bum is not real jare

yourbestfriendxoxo said...

congrats linda , omg am rutting for u and toni (homegal) abge plzzz we need more peeps liek you guys to rep naija to the fullest