Dear LIB readers: Is it okay for a woman to invite her ex-lovers to her wedding? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Saturday 21 June 2014

Dear LIB readers: Is it okay for a woman to invite her ex-lovers to her wedding?

Question from a male LIB reader...
A girl who was a bit promiscuous back in university days invited some of her ex-lovers to her wedding who I am aware of. She's doing good for herself in Chevron and her husband works in Mobil. I saw at least four guys she'd been with in the past at the wedding (including myself) and I wondered why she would do that.
I know I wouldn't want that, allow my fiancee's ex-lovers to attend my wedding but I see women think differently about matters like this. It will be nice to know what people think

139 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't see anything wrong wit it

Alloy Chikezie said...

Personally there is nothing wrong with inviting them so long as your husband to be know about them, its all about understand between all parties involved


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Unknown said...

She no get home training? Why una no marry her? Infact if my fiancée try am I no go forgive her ooh

katrina said...

No its not right

Unknown said...

There no big deal wit that linda.... infact it's very much perfect since she still in good times with them.n dey accept coming for the wedding without no bad intention..

Via BlackBerry z10

DOBY DOBY said...

Deirs natin der nah.. mayb shes still frenz wiv her ex.. wat kind of Q is dis.. hia

Anonymous said...

The girl is crazy..I will never honor just an invitation..its so ridiculous..@blissful_jay

Emjay said...

Na wah ohhh,to me inviting ur ex isn't a crime,but inviting all 3 or 4,hmmmm,don't think dat is advisable.
#Em jay#

Unknown said...

Is not bad and is not really good. Ur Ex is ur past, you don't need him on ur wedding day. ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥♡thanks ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥ 

Unknown said...

Is not bad and is not really good. Ur Ex is ur past, you don't need him on ur wedding day. ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥♡thanks ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥ 

udeze ec said...

waooo i thnk she did d rite thn,dis shows dat she z matured and also conscience free

Anonymous said...

Nothing bad as far as they mean good

Unknown said...

I don't think there is something wrong with that. She must have told her husband about her past.

Unknown said...

As long as I'm getn married to som1 I'm so proud of, any1 is allowed

Unknown said...

If she can handle it no problem but for me if I get to know abt those ex she invited to our wedding that's the end of the road...I will manage till we the wedding and the next day she's back to her parent house

henrietta4gwin said...

I don't really see anything wrong with that, provided you don't have anything to do with them anymore, sincerely frm ur heart.

Anonymous said...

Mr man go to the wedding with your wife or girlfriend.whatever she is thinking or doing will shocker her when she sees you.Go and surprise her.Don't forget to are a man











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Anonymous said...

It's not a big deal. She's moved on,they should do same.

Unknown said...

She no get home training? Why una no marry her? Infact if my fiancée try am I no go forgive her ooh

Bianca Bruno said...

Unless you are bringing money for me don't bother attending my wedding.
Kapish?!

Angie Cape said...

I don't see anything wrong with inviting your exes to your wedding.....unless you are not over them yet, OR
They'd make a scene on your D-day.


*My R1.50c comment*

Anonymous said...

Linda women always do this and think men are fools. The always visit even there ex lovers even in marraige

Bookey said...

Well, it depends on the kind of relationship that existed between her and those she had something to do with in the past. People invite their ex for different reasons.Either to spite them and make them feel jealous or just plainly because they have allowed that to be in the past and see them presently as platonic "friends" with no strings attached.

Anonymous said...

It doesn't matter. My own principle is when a wmn gets married she's automatically a saint.

tb said...

It depend but to me dat's bad no matter hw ur ex is ex,if u don't hav any tin in common y must u invite him.

Bianca Bruno said...

Unless you are bringing money for me don't bother attening my wedding.
Kapish?!

Unknown said...

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Anonymous said...

May b she wants to proove something 2 d ex friends.

Anonymous said...

I have no objection abaut that since d sepration is not base on quarry

BONARIO NNAGS said...

I don't see anything wrong with that.
Intact the wedding I'm attending next month is that of an ex.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Amarachukwu. said...

I don't see anything wrong with that...Is her past.

Anonymous said...

We women don't see it as a big deal because it will make the ex lover to face reality and never disturb but men view it in a different way (as an insult or maybe to make up) , I know they don't find it funny.

Anonymous said...

Its ok. If she see them as just friends
There is nothing wrong with that. It shows that, she has a free heart.

Dammy said...

I don't mind, we are all fairly used so its nothing

Unknown said...

Glad u know women think and see things differently......ur exes can be ur friend hello!!!!!! Unlike men dat will still be running things wit exes even on the bachelor night.

bonita bislam said...

Its no biggie that's IF & only IF you're sure u guys parted without grudges.Coz you never can tell what a wounded estranged lover can do on a momentous day like a your wedding.Be guided!

Anonymous said...

The only thing wrong with it is if her hubby sees somthing wrong with it. If ur hubby says don't invite him then don't invite him , if ur wifey says don't invite her then don't.. Maybe her hubby doesn't know sef. As long as they're happy n faithful guests at a wedding are not the big problem ----C21

Anonymous said...

Like you said she was a bit promiscious. Now promiscuity leaves one without a conscience. To her you guys were regular people and she was just having fun the way she knew how best to. She sees you guys as friends and no strings attach. Inviting u guys takes nothing from her cos all she knows now is the man she is in love with and married to. So to me there is nothing bad in her descision. My opinion thou!!!

Anonymous said...

It's very wrong!!! To what purpose will u invite an ex to ur wedding? To me it's like bringing the past into ur future8-t . It doesn't make sense. #myopinionthough
Abbie_Di

Unknown said...

I think she's still dwelling in her past...ur x is ur past. Reasons best known to her

Anonymous said...

Absolutely wrong!!!


@peacefullyahead!!

Steveosky 4 Real. said...

It's something that needs not to argued or talked about.. A quickee could happen anywhere. So therefore it's wrong ...

Anonymous said...

Capital NO,it is not ok! If na me...na how I take dey nack her then I go dey imagine and I even fit get hard on sef

Anonymous said...

There is no thing wrong with that. Went to my x tradi. To me it shows maturity .

Dike F(xyz) said...

It's not okay especially if the Guy you're getting Married to know Ʊя ex-Lovers. It can create "DisTrust" and the marriage can start having Cracks from there and then.

Unknown said...

She wants flaunt the guy she's getting married to. Perhaps in looks and wealth the guy is better telling her exs she has good eyes and she made a good choice after them.

tomisyn said...

There's really no biggie bou it if she's over them...they could be on a platonic level now...and she myt have invited dem with no bad intentions

amaka said...

Well as a lady,i dnt see anytin rong in dat act, I tink it depends on individual,if am done wid u,dats it! No coming back,I'd invyt ma ex lovers whom am still in touch wid 2ma wedding so long as deres absolutely nothing btw us anymore...nd d guys re matured humanbeings

ary said...

She is rubbing it your faces! It's like she is saying 'this is the guy who won, this is the guy who hung on'

Anonymous said...

I agree its not right but I guess the woman hasno scruples

Anonymous said...

in her mind she is like "stupid mofos! see the guy collecting the nacks and sucks now!"

Anonymous said...

I think its wrong your Ex belongs to ur past and should be left there. #Glophil

Anonymous said...

No big deal about dat.. My ex-lovers are still my gud friends. So dey are most welcome to my wedding.

Anonymous said...

I have attended the wedding of me ex... Don't see Wht the noise is about...

Anonymous said...

You are also an ex?
If you won't allow your fiancee invite her ex'es, why honor this invitation???

Anonymous said...

My ex is not my friend n will never b, cos it wasn't friendship I wanted @ 1st but we r not enemies either ( meemee ).

Anonymous said...

Doesn't matter,cos life continues.....a player or promiscous being will surely get married one day,so ko follow!

Anonymous said...

there is no big deal, u can rejioce wit her coz d both of u were not meant to be.

Anonymous said...

There is noting bad abt that oky

Anonymous said...

I'll personally invite all my ex bfs including the one who broke my heart.... For them to come n see who I eneded up with n that a man can actually love me enough to spend the rest of his life with me. Yes I will!

Unknown said...

This is a story of an unfaithful wife.
She's bound to regret her adulterous/wayward lifestyle.
The lady is deceitful.
If both of them are birds of a feather, they risk health hazards.
Any relationship built on falsehood, deceit and lies cannot stand.
Money is not everything. Marital bliss, trust, peace and harmonious relationship which should be the basic bedrock of a union cannot be guaranteed in a home that is fraught with pranks.

Unknown said...

This is a story of an unfaithful wife.
She's bound to regret her adulterous/wayward lifestyle.
The lady is deceitful.
If both of them are birds of a feather, they risk health hazards.
Any relationship built on falsehood, deceit and lies cannot stand.
Money is not everything. Marital bliss, trust, peace and harmonious relationship which should be the basic bedrock of a union cannot be guaranteed in a home that is fraught with pranks.

Anonymous said...

Dude,as a lady the fact that we broke up with a guy doesn't mean we stopped talking,some of us become best friends with our ex and since we are in talking times,then I see no reason why I can't invite them to celebrate with me. It is called maturity

purity said...

Aba this foolishness that. Spirit is still in her she is still in luv

Ramson Jay said...

Y did u attend when u know it was wrong? Past is past, grow up man!

TWITS said...

As much as, ideally, thr shdnt be any hard feelings, I don't think it is right. It is DISRESPECTFUL to the husband.

Unknown said...

Does it really matter's??????......most we really understand everything????

thiwa bhabe said...

well i dnt tink z ryt. Usually afta splitin,z awkward 4 d ex-lovers to kip conversin & be on gud terms-xcept d relationship wasnt a serious one. besyds,d gal's husby-2-be might nt go well wit d idea..buh diff strokes 4 diff folks! linda u dnt always post my comment oo..pls do dis tym

Anonymous said...

I see nothing wrong with that. It shows that you have advanced from boys/ men to A MAN.

Anonymous said...

What's your business? She can invite whoever she wants to invite to her wedding. Maybe she's actually built a friendship with them? Much ado about nothing.

AGB said...

Women are generally so naive....I'm so sorry for generalizing.

Anonymous said...

ČŠ̝̊̅†̥ does nt matter. ČŠ̝̊̅†̥ depends on how d relationship ended. â„“̊ personally dnt see anything wrong in dat. Linda pls post my coment

Luchi geh

Anonymous said...

The question is y is she still in contact with her exes...she had better check herself properly cos ashewo wey marry na leave she take..mtsheww i rest my case

Zoe Ami said...

There's really nothing wrong with it, its simply maturity and free conscience especially if the ex broke up with her and not the other way round

Temidayo Ogedengbe said...

Well, I share the same opinion with you. I have once told my gf not to invite her ex to our wedding, especially one in particular.

Anonymous said...

Lol! I know who she is.. And my guy knows the hubby

Anonymous said...

Chai dereisgodooooo

Anonymous said...

Na wa ooo

Anonymous said...

Absolutely there is nothing wrong. As long as your hubby know about your previous relationships. Openness is key

Unknown said...

I feel its diff understanding... some ppl might do it while some wouldn't. I Don't see anything wrong with it.

@stevesleek said...

There's no big deal there,i just hope she doesn't go crushing on one of them again.

Anonymous said...

What kind of rubbish is that abi na she wan be the Husband

Anonymous said...

abeg shut up, if you saw something wrong and claim to be another ex-lover of hers why did you show up? Bad bele. She's moved on and she's happy.
My dear it is very possible to be good friends with your ex-lovers and nothing will happen. The fact that the guys came mean they've moved on too....maybe not you

Anonymous said...

abeg shut up, if you saw something wrong and claim to be another ex-lover of hers why did you show up? Bad bele. She's moved on and she's happy.
My dear it is very possible to be good friends with your ex-lovers and nothing will happen. The fact that the guys came mean they've moved on too....maybe not you

Gold said...

There's nothing wrong with it, my ex bf attended my wedding and my husband was aware.

Anonymous said...

gdagaun alloy!lol just kidding

Alagbado-ode said...

Promiscuity is in d blood and it's an habit that requires mt kilmanjaro-type deliverance. Lady in qiuestion wants d best of d future but still dont wamt to let go of d sinful past. This type will quicly turn back to d past once there is any little challenge in d marriage. Its better such kind stay single instead of trying to have d best of two different world.

Anonymous said...

0f course..ion see anything wrong, sofar she can invite anyone she pleases to invite!

DOBY DOBY said...

@ nasir.. ur very funny. . Do u evn understand d Q.. read well b4 u comment

Anonymous said...

So what? She's getting married to the man she loves and she invited people. You've already shown from your write up how much you don't like her. You called her promiscuous. You have no right to call somebody's wife that in the first place. What's your reason for attending the wedding? To take roll calls or to celebrate with them? God people are so nosy. Next you'll tell Linda how you were not served food and drink. You are petty, a sadist and a trouble maker. Pls, stay away from them. If that marriage fails, you are responsible. Do you know how many of the husband's exs that also attended the wedding? Busy body die for gutter. I think you're in love with her and stalking her or you're jealous of her success. You know so much about her. Dont tell me you're her friend. No friend do what you just did to a friend. I pray your wedding be filled with your would be's exs. You're so full of shit.

Unknown said...

To me as a lady, I would invite my Ex for him to come see wat he has thrown away especially if he is d one dat dump me, but if my Ex invites me to his own wedding,I wouldn't attend..Generally is nt even too advisable bcos one must surely feel bad abt it cos of d bound btw d both of u whether u re married @ d time u re invited or not...

Anonymous said...

Wat sort of frnz culd she possibly stil be 2 her x-dates? Truth is, she may stil be f*ckin dem.

Anonymous said...

Wat sort of frnz culd she possibly stil be 2 her x-dates? Truth is, she may stil be f*ckin dem.

Chikaka said...

She wants to continue keeping in touch with them in her marriage. Not good.

Anonymous said...

Hope this is nt potium oo...lol... uno wat I mean if this is d miemie Iam thinkin. it is...lool

Anonymous said...

You be one of the ex...and u say you wouldn't wanna do dat... you showed up and started badmouthing the your ex but now married girlfriend who works with Chevron & her husband! JEALOUSY DON KILL YOU FINISH!!!....and dats why she's getting married to him and YOU! Ozuo

NAOMI said...

I see nothing wrong with that.

Anonymous said...

why are you are you giving yourself headache, when you yourself attended the wedding and the person in question is married. I mean her wedding, her guests, if the exes didn't want to show up, they would not have come.

Anonymous said...

my wife sees nothing wrong with it too. She even invites them to our table when we go out for dinner. Dumb dumb women.

Unknown said...

Me too will invite my ex glfrndz too.I can assure her, her numbers wldnt be close to mine.lol

Unknown said...

There is nothing wrong with it... as long as d rship ended peacefully......

cos ur ex can still be a very good frnd to u........

Unknown said...

What are they coming to see? On my wedding day, walking down the aisle I'll turn to my 3 o'clock nd See Sucrea and remember how we use to kiss in his car, turning to my 5 o'clock is sugaar 1 and fla*** to the wondeful Love making back in the days, turn to my 7 o'clock there is Boo baby reminding me of the one on his bathtop.... And I'm looking @ 12 o'clock and smile..... That's my hubby..... That's not a good thing to do. I don't think my ex should be there.

Anonymous said...

Is like inviting my six ex to my wedding...that's crazy, stupid and disrespectful.

Anonymous said...

All the people saying that it is acceptable, lol I feel sorry for you, and I pray you don't get caught up in a web of deceit!!! An ex friend of mine got married some years back, she didn't invite her ex, but her husband invited
a lot of his ex(about 4 in total), after they got married, as soon as she got pregnant, she left for London!!! After giving birth to her son, she stayed back in London, even though she doesn't work, and her husband based in Nigeria is hustling, but he never got to see his son, until the boy was 2 years old: anyway after a period of 6 months she came back to London, where she is claiming 2 different types of benefits!!! She calls her ex, when she needs pampers and stuff for her son, he guy picks her up, takes her to Peckham to buy groceries etc, then they go to his flat, and fuck each other's brains out smh!!! Now she is pregnant with the ex's baby, so what should she tell her husband, who I might add is also committing adultery all over Lagos!!! "Forsaking all others" simply means no ex boyfriend or girlfriend at your wedding, well na una sabi jare!!!Whizman

Alexis said...

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

So who r d exes men r running. Same gal who is inviting her exes too. Think b4 u talk

GEN said...

THERE IS NOFIN bad abUOoo iT..

APPLE said...

Good for them.

Lagosgirl said...

But linda did u have to write promiscuous and the fact that she works at chevron or where are husband works. Like seriously???? You're not a saint either darling. I don't know this lady in question but u had no right.

Anonymous said...

it is nt wrong

Unknown said...

Best comment I give it to U. What u don't see don't irritate u

Zizi said...

Nothing wrong with it

Treasure said...

I see nothing wrong there,, I have a friend who just wedded and invited her ex, he came and after the wedding told me he wished he was marrying her.
As for me, I told my ex I'll send him invitation for my wedding. So u see, it's no big deal. It's a way of telling them "I hav a new life now".

Anonymous said...

Women think its nothing but to men it sometimes is a big deal. you are bringing the past into ur future, most women do it because dey want to spite the ex, and den say dey are matured, that to me scream immaturity. besides put yourself in the mans shoes, if it were turned around, would you allow him even smile to his ex talk-less of inviting her to your wedding

Anonymous said...

Mind your business please. Naija men and backwardness. She invited you out of the goodness of her heart, you are already telling us what you will and will not allow. Be there allowing, while she and her new husband are moving forward.

Anonymous said...

Retarded anon 2:56PM you think say every1 nah u. The guy they invited and he went just wants 2 find out if the geh still likes him so he went and was sad because he saw all the other exes there which puts him back 2 the ordinary person zone. So the girl was promiscous? Ehee nah if u break up with her won't she date another. #troublemaker

Anonymous said...

Yes, very very okey

Obest said...

It depends, As for me i cant! Fact

Adebusola said...

Linda my X was at mine thought I dnt invite him. Don't even no whi did. That's his body ache sha. It's no biggies

Anonymous said...

Anon 6:26. It is from a male reader. Read thoroughly before getting all emotional.

Ivan B said...

Not bad

Anonymous said...

Lagos girl, read well before typing rubbish

Unknown said...

Easy babe. Linda Is just trying 2 give us d full gist.

Ejay said...

There is a reason why it's called ex

Anonymous said...

Lagos girl, if u can read well u will see that it's from a reader. It's not Linda who wrote d story or is asking d question.

Anonymous said...

there is nothing wrong with it. the guys did not have any hard feelings, babe clearly did not have any hard feelings. So everyone is happy. Dont see nothing wrong with it. Sorry. I invited the two in my history that I cared for. It never occurred to me that it was a bad thing because I was over them, wished them well, was into having normal conversations with them, and they with me.

Anonymous said...

Wow,nawa oh, orisirisi, olorun maa je n se oriburuku,theres clearly a reason why they are ex and so shld not be in future get that girl, say goodbye to old pricks and hump on the new one.

Anonymous said...

Dumbfuck that's what the guy sent to her,not like she wrote it herself...When u read try to understand before concluding

Unknown said...

Dear Lagos girl, Linda quoted someone Ok? Those are the words of the LIB reader asking the question, not Linda's.

Unknown said...


Nothing wrong in it! But 3 ex , 4 ?? haba .... who hit it first ?? in "rayjays" voice.... lol

Anonymous said...

Mumu, shey na Linda write am? U nor sabi read?

Unknown said...

I dnt feel its good though...

Unknown said...

I dnt tink its gud though...

Anonymous said...

No big deal o, my car was decorated for 2 of my ex's wedn and their husbands no complain. Simply understanding and maturity.

Anonymous said...

But seriously, there is nothing wrong wit it depending on individuals. But I would advise u don't do it. If u ar still friendly wit ur ex, let him give u whatever support he has. Bcos after d wedding comes d watching of d video. Each time u watch, u remember ur past escapades. No real man would agree for his wife to invite her ex to their wedding. And d guys dat sent d story, it's very wrong of u to ve mentioned the two companies.

talkative beibei said...

only my ex lovers go full d wedding because i get them plenty more than 150 of them some that i have forgotten their names and face self.but am not a prostitute so u dont get me wrong, so i no go invite them. if u wan insult me, ask ur girlfrend or ur sister hw many men she don fuck and the once she is yet to fuck and be sure she is saying the truth. and if u are a woman, u know wt i mean. linda can attest to it but please post this comment no vex say i open women yansh

Anonymous said...

Bonario don dey confess, hmmm, i thought u were smart but someone have prooved to be smarter than you. pele, but make sure u are no longer srewing the lady shal

Anonymous said...

Ladies always want to eat their cake and have it.. Would you love it if your husband's baby mama came to your wedding, and hugged him to "congratulate" him??
I'm so sure some of you would have a team of friends to even sieve gifts from them exes and baby mamas just in case something diabolic is in there.

I don't know sha.. But it is things like this that makes me afraid of all these women.

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