Dear LIB readers: No marriage proposal, no engagement ring, yet about to wed
From a LIB reader
Dear Linda, I read your post on a lady not liking her engagement ring and it reminded me of my own situation. My introduction is this Saturday and my wedding is in November, yet I don't even have an engagement ring.
He never even proposed to me. Each time I speak to him about it, he makes a joke of it. I feel its kind of absurd. I have always desired to be proposed to and given a ring before my introduction day. This has always been my childhood fantasy.
Is this normal? Are there married ladies out there who got married without an engagement ring? I want LIBERs to advise me honestly and not insult me .... Smiling .
Na shot gun you use hold am make in marry you? Or is it that he doesn't have money? Maybe he is having it custom made for you and wants to surprise you. Let us know if he doesn't give you wedding ring, then we can really be worries. What more can I say?
my dear, carry go. Everybodys lifes script is written in different ways. there is no hard and fast rule that says no engagement ring= no marriage.
But hope ur man will not in the future rub it in and say afterall he dint beg u on his knees. You know him better tho. I think its your happiness that counts and not a mere ring :)
The most important thing is Happiness and not the engagement ring n its normal.I have an aunt that got married without an engagement ring n 25yrs after she's still very happy.
life is so funny,while some complain of their rings,some didnt get at all. Dear as long as the man loves you and your introduction and marriage is already fixed what again? some ladies when given the engagement ring,dont even wear it until they see their wedding iv. engagement no be marriage,and even marriage(wedding and engagement ring)no be happiness,love or peace of mind. ring to some people is just a fashion accessories while to some is a big deal.whatever to me just get the right thing right.
He didn't propose to me, didn't get an engagement ring, he just too me out for dinner and asked 'are u sure u really want to be my wife' my eyes rolled like they were going to pop out but hey, he's a typical bush man and I just knew he didn't know any better, he's not romantic so what do I do? Marriage is 15yrs and stl strong. Probably no one has ever done t for him to see, or he grew up n a home where mummy/daddy never dd lovey dovey or dad passed on too early, so many factors on such people's side.
Yup. We are plenty. *laughs* My husband did not propose to me at all yet we have been married for 3 years. It was my fantasy too but I guess that's what it remained! But to God be the glory, we are happily married and are more in love with each other than at the beginning. So all I'll say is that ring doesn't define the joy you would experience in marriage. You could talk to his very close friends on getting some proposal if you are that passionate about it. But really, it is no big deal. *my opinion*
Its no biggie, my hubby didn't propose we just told our parents we were gettin married as for my engagement ring I wore it on d day of my traditional marriage
Yes dearie, it may sound strange but many of d married ladies out there never got an engagement ring not bcos they shouldn't but their 'african men' didn't think it dat 'important' am saying it out of experience cos I didn't get one myself. Dearie continue ur preps if u r happy cos d 'ring' doesn't garantee happiness or sustenability of the marriage (am ten years in d game nd happy with many ring 2 show)so relax nd go with d flow.
Ghost wedding!!!Lol... My dear shine ur eyez o,cos no b whn problem dey 2moro his words wil be "afterall i didnt propose 2 u!" Wonda wat kinda introduction una dey plan sef*im confused* he didnt propose n there'll b weddin?? #odiegwu o
No relationship is same hence no marriage is same either...
At least he showed interest to marry you, what if he proposed, gave you big stone ring for your engagement then backed out?
Expensive blings doesn't predict how successful the marriage is going to be. Be patient... He might surprise you on your engagement day or wedding day with huge blings... Best of luck
I wouldn’t really ADVISE you, but I would simply tell you that appearances are not (necessarily) as important as the real intentions (LOVE?). I NEVER proposed formally to my present wife, but we courted for a year or so and we both knew we wanted one day to tie the knot. Twenty-two years later, we’re still together and our eldest child is 19 years old. Some people surround their courtship and finally their proposal with a lot of flowers and decoration. It’s fine as long as it’s not mere embellishment. Others (as was my case) make their choice and presto! act accordingly. Does your fiancé really love you? Is he serious about the official presentation and, more importantly, a long-term relationship (in theory “till death thou part”)? This is more important than some of the usual routines. I don’t mean to treat an official proposal and/or an engagement ring as “frivolities”, far from it. But… Ok, I know you’ve always fantasized about being proposed and put an engagement ring around your finger. Is there any close friend of his (or both of you), a relation, a sibling he listens to whom you could ask to tell him about your fantasy (wish)—if you don’t have the courage to tell him yourself? Maybe this could do the trick and make you happier. The above is actually not advice; just some musing. Good luck.
Well I am one of those ladies. At that time, I thought it weird cos I also had such fantasy of wearing an engagement ring. Though we've not done a white wedding 3years later, I will tell u the marriage is a mess. My daughter is 2years old & has never set eyes on her dad. My only joy is there was no white wedding so I believe I'm not tied down completely. I regret the marriage but thank God still for my baby.
Engagement ring to me is just a trend..what matters more is ur wedding ring. If he's serious enough to come 4 an introduction then I think u should settle down and plan wearing ur marriage ring rather than allow engagement ring cause a fume.
I'm in a long distance relationship and we are gtting married in about 6weeks but I have no ring yet sha. I'm getting a proposal at some point before the wedding but I don't have it yet coz its a long distance reltonhip. I guess its a bit differnet of a situation sha. But I just thought to share.
It's abnormal 4 ur fiance nt 2 gv u engagement ring n yet wnts 2 marry u.bt mayb he knws y he prefers dat way,u shud mak him undastnd dat d ring gvs u ful assurance dat u re abt 2 wed.bt approach him nice......wat he did is nt conventional
I feel ur pain. Nt a gud 1 at all. pray very well b4 goin into it bcos he shld atleast propose nd I hop u re nt d 1 pushin d guy bcos nt lik he is ready for d dedicatn
Ofcos! There are so many married women out there that got married witout engagement ring. Mayb he doesn't fansy such. My dear, most impt tin na to tie d knots biko!
Yes, there are lots of married women out there. My hubby proposed to me on bended knees on our introduction night said he wanted to be sure my parents would accept him but he never gave me a ring just a beautiful proposal. So I think it does not really matter so long as u love each other. Are best of friends and understand each other.
Sister, don't use anyone's life as a yardstick 4urs. There are several ladies out there that av been proposed to and have expensive engagement rings but have no set wedding dates. Thank God uve got a man of urs and there is no hard and fast rule that says its must for proposals b4 wedding.....I'm sure some of ur friends envy u!
Like seriously. No proposal. No ring. Dats not kool @ all oooo. D guy 4 buy ring na even if he no sabi propose. God help me o. Make my man no try am ooo or else I go wound person. Lol. Just joking. Cnt u tell pple 2 talk 2 him. Oma baby.
well, it happened to someone i know and the girl dint mind. i dont know where or how the proposal rule started but engagement ring shouldn't be ur issue, it should be if u and ur spouse understand each other enough to be together forever and r ready to make d commitment. on the other hand, why is ur spouse not proposing n y does he make a joke out of it? so how come u guys are getting married if he dint tell u he wants to marry you?
Aww!! I guess he loves u buh he just feels all d senrenren isit needed...buh tell him how it makes u feel--unless he can't afford it...u cud chill till wen he can...it happens all the time :)
My dear it is very normal. Most Nigerian relationships just metamorphos into marriage without a proposal or an engagement ring. I know a lot of people like that.
i rarely leave comments but i just had to do this.
Life is about give and take. You cannot afford to sign off your life to a man while feeling cheated.
Happiness is key in life, and i believe that it is a mans' priority to ensure that his babe stays HAPPY.
You obviously want this ring, you have always fantasized about it and you owe no one an explanation for this. Also there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a ring. DO NOT let anyone convince you otherwise. Your priorities are not misplaced and you are NOT being vain. my dear, sometimes in life, we just want what we want. and we should get it.
Also, pls note that i haven't said that your man is terrible .... He is a man and he probbaly just doesn't see such a big deal with the ring.
It is your responsibility to tell him what you want and ensure that it happens. however, u can choose to let this slide without getting what you want. But please remember that your husband might soon not want a wife that works ( so you will have to quit your job) or a wife that does weaves or uses extensions ( you will now have to plait ur hair with thread) ..... *extreme cases maybe maybe not???
overall, its ur call. Choose to live a life while you compromise fully and get nothing in return? or insist that you get a proposal before your introduction!!!! its just monday and he's got tuesday thru saturday morning to cook something up.
Darling iyawo, pls be sure that this proposal is really TOP priority . pls do not expect to get an easy YES. you will have to insist and insist and explain why this is important to you.
i rarely leave comments but i just had to do this.
Life is about give and take. You cannot afford to sign off your life to a man while feeling cheated.
Happiness is key in life, and i believe that it is a mans' priority to ensure that his babe stays HAPPY.
You obviously want this ring, you have always fantasized about it and you owe no one an explanation for this. Also there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a ring. DO NOT let anyone convince you otherwise. Your priorities are not misplaced and you are NOT being vain. my dear, sometimes in life, we just want what we want. and we should get it.
Also, pls note that i haven't said that your man is terrible .... He is a man and he probbaly just doesn't see such a big deal with the ring.
It is your responsibility to tell him what you want and ensure that it happens. however, u can choose to let this slide without getting what you want. But please remember that your husband might soon not want a wife that works ( so you will have to quit your job) or a wife that does weaves or uses extensions ( you will now have to plait ur hair with thread) ..... *extreme cases maybe maybe not???
overall, its ur call. Choose to live a life while you compromise fully and get nothing in return? or insist that you get a proposal before your introduction!!!! its just monday and he's got tuesday thru saturday morning to cook something up.
Darling iyawo, pls be sure that this proposal is really TOP priority . pls do not expect to get an easy YES. you will have to insist and insist and explain why this is important to you.
My dear,you re not alone!av bin dating my bf 4almost a year now.I av no single doubt in my mind dat we are headin 4marriage(and I hardly bliv in men)av met his pple,he has met mine.we've plan our lives 2geda,and he jus moved2a house I want4us,we see EVERY single day,we bhave like we are married inshort!now my friends kip bugging me about him proposing2me cos they feel wats he waiting4.in turn I bug him sumtyms too but like υr man he laffs it off.am afraid he might not do the whole magical romantic proposing thing.truth is am beginning2accept my fate,I think you shud do so too or betta still as a friend adviced me.you can propose2him,afta all we are in a leap year*wink* its allowed.lolol,goodluck in your marriage
i rarely leave comments but i just had to do this.
Life is about give and take. You cannot afford to sign off your life to a man while feeling cheated.
Happiness is key in life, and i believe that it is a mans' priority to ensure that his babe stays HAPPY.
You obviously want this ring, you have always fantasized about it and you owe no one an explanation for this. Also there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a ring. DO NOT let anyone convince you otherwise. Your priorities are not misplaced and you are NOT being vain. my dear, sometimes in life, we just want what we want. and we should get it.
Also, pls note that i haven't said that your man is terrible .... He is a man and he probbaly just doesn't see such a big deal with the ring.
It is your responsibility to tell him what you want and ensure that it happens. however, u can choose to let this slide without getting what you want. But please remember that your husband might soon not want a wife that works ( so you will have to quit your job) or a wife that does weaves or uses extensions ( you will now have to plait ur hair with thread) ..... *extreme cases maybe maybe not???
overall, its ur call. Choose to live a life while you compromise fully and get nothing in return? or insist that you get a proposal before your introduction!!!! its just monday and he's got tuesday thru saturday morning to cook something up.
Darling iyawo, pls be sure that this proposal is really TOP priority . pls do not expect to get an easy YES. you will have to insist and insist and explain why this is important to you.
It happens dat way dear (dat dere's no actual proposal), not dat ur thinking is absurd but some ppl jus talk abt having a future (marriage) with each other, meet each other's parents n before they know it, marriage plans. Its common with ppl who started out as friends or ve dated for really long.
yes. i know 2ppl who did. because of how close they were (both couples) one conversation just led to another and next thing, what month do you think we shd get married' then ok, lets tell our parents we want to do intro and no rings were bought till it was time to but the wesding set.
the comma is, wedding ring set comes in 3's and most girls want this complete set, making it difficult for a guy to propse with one, den buy another set when its time for d wedding.
bottom line, no big deal. if its causing u headache, tell him and let him get you one
my dear, its what you've dreamed of, let him not b a dream killer. demand for one....except if he's okay with u pretending to b free and single after marriage.
am just laughing! the other one had a ring but crying its too cheap. this one has no ring at all. a clear case of i have no shoes, i have no shoes, now this is someone with no legs.
Ma dear yes o! I got married since 2000 and my late husband never proposed to me. We just ended up getting married. I don't see the big deal. But since you would want that maybe you should keep asking him.
My friend wuz in d same situation bt got her engagement ring d nite b4 her introduction and he surprised her wit a nicer engagement ring during d traditional weddn.d fact dat he kips avoiding d topic shows dat he plans on surprising u,so pls b patient.
I would like to propose to my future wife with a beautiful engagement ring, but everyone isn't the same. I guess your fiancé is different. I think I understand his kind. Some people are that old-fashioned/rigid. Different strokes for different folks right?
Maybe you should consider that an engagement ring doesn't make a good marriage. Kris can like to propose to kim with a diamond ring but it will pack up after 72days. Yes, the ring is supposed to be an outward expression of a deep commitment b/w 2 people, but the ring isn't as important as the relationship itself. The ring doesn't really keep the marriage together, sincerity, love & trust does. I guess at the end of the day, it's all about ur soul decisions to love each other for the rest of ur lives & how well you know & trust him that matters. If u trust him, & he's sincerely in love with u, then there might just be very little for you to worry about. Cheers
How many fingers do u have? He will put one there on your wedding day. Or would u rather have an engagement ring and not be married in years to come? Like he buying u an engagement ring with most of his money and post-poning the wedding? Choose thou one.
Your bloke probably doesn't believe in the whole "down-on-one-knee romantic thingy". As much as being proposed to & ur pretty ring is important to you, what I feel shld be more important is: 1. He truly loves you and has your back and he's gonna take care of you & such...
Don't worry abt it, compensate urself by making him pay for an awesome honeymoon
How many fingers do u have? He will put one there on your wedding day. Or will u rather have an engagement ring and not be married in years to come? Like he buying u an engagement ring with most of his money and post-poning the wedding? Choose thou one. Love: Muchacha
I am happily married today and my sister I didn't get an engagement ring. I also used to dream about how the guy will kneel n propose but fortunately or unfortunately, I didn't meet such guy and I couldn't have rejected an adorable man and husband because he didn't propose. So some actually don't. I don't think its a guarantee when you are proposed to. I have friends that got proposed to loooong b4 I got married n they are not married till now that am writing this. So which would you prefer to be given an engagement ring that you wear till further notice or to get married. I don't fink its absurd. That's my own opinoun. Go ahead gal n plan your wedding.
My name is Val I weeded on 9t april dis yer my wife got the 2 rings on that dat. Women and there little problems. Some doing night vigil to hook a man and dea ur taking about engagement ring. Reject de man and see what ur chief brides maid will do. Best of lk
Please calm down madame, in the past, in africa, der was noting like engagement ring, haba, @least ur getn intro ds saturday, u'l get a Ring then na... Wat if he cnt afford it,or just has the mentality that der's no point... Proposal ring, engagement ring,white wedding ring...eventually u'l wear just 2 na....* flips hair...but My boo had better thing Up sumfin like dat Dude that used the cinemas to propose.
My dear am not married,but I did ask my mum and she has this advice for u.
What matters most at this point in time is the love he has for u,coz dats defines d feasibilty of ur marriage,and every oda thing thing is jara. Ur case can be likened to wedding ceremony without reception,but thise marriages still survived coz d most essential ingredient LOVE wasn't lacking. The engagement ring and proposal weren't there before,but were added protocols culminating to d walk down the aisle. Don't be distracted,try let him see reasons with u,I guess this is d first test of his love,coz if he knows it will make u happy,he'll do dat for u. Happy married life in advance. ~BONARIO's MUM~says so via NOKIA3310.
Babe it is not unusual. A lot of Nigerian men do not believe in proposing. My husband proposed to me though, my male friends feel it is a western tradition and not in our culture. If he doesn't believe in it I think you should let peace reign and just be silent.
next time look for an Ajebutter boo if u so desire a romantic proposal... instead of u to be planning ur marriage u are waiting 4 Ring. biko nne wait ooo anoda girl will just take ur space
Ask ur mum to show u hers! Nigerians are not used to that. What we call introduction is what whites call engagement party. So, ur engagement is on saturday. Chill.... The ring's just a symbol. I don't pray for no engagement ring though. Ur man may be old school, don't blame him too much. Just talk him into it. Just use ur female powers!
I did. Propose to my fiancée and we are getting married this oct. But its not actually compulsory for him to give u and engagement ring. Don't trouble ur self d engagement ring. Thing more of d marriage ahead dear.
Aww I really feel bad fr u n I cn understand ur plight! Cs I v just d same dream as urs,kinda ring I want n hw to b proposed to! Well I rily cnt say much cs I hvntbn married bfr but d only explanation is in 2 phases! 1)mayb he thnks d weddn is soon y waste moni to buy an engagement ring wen ur still goin to chng it to d weddn ring nyways! 2) it could b dat he's d oldfashioned kinda guy dt doesn't biliv in proposals n dem engagement ring ish!! U shd knw him better! But deres rily nothn to wory bout my darlin! As long as ur getn married,I really understand hw u feel n for all u care,he myt still spring up a surprise ring on yu! U just can't say *winks*
What church does he attend?? Cos I knw some churches don't use neither engagement rings nor wedding rings. I actually have a friend, she's engaged bt deres no ring...her bf is an MFM member and she also is an MFM member...dats my church too..it depends on his church
I've been dating my boyfriend for 9years now, he's planning on my introduction before the year runs out....and he hasn't even proposed (officially). Anytime I ask him, he says 'is it necessary?' Loool... no proposal (ring) no introduction oh...
My dear, dey there dey wait for ring, when some girls ® waiting for there man to even say let me meet ur parent, U̶̲̥̅̊ ® abt getting married n U̶̲̥̅̊ wondering y ur man has not proposed, in some relationships guys don't ask girls to b there girlfriend,they just kiss one day, n bang! Relationship don strt b dat,....(Allow me plz) eni lori o ni fila, eni ni fila ko lori. My dear...don't bother...if love him marry him. The major ring is the one given to U̶̲̥̅̊ on ur wedding day.
ok First of all, if he didn't propose how come your introduction is this week? my dear that na paper bag marriage o,, he better do the right thing or he will take u for granted when you get married to him just like dat.
U see marriage u dye complain. U better settle down and forget about fantasies. So many get proposed to but the marriage never happens. U should be grateful
Swt hrt I can imagine how U̶̲̥̅̊ feel now, but some men don't propose b4 marriage, I wonder y. But since ur wedding is fixed already, U̶̲̥̅̊ have an edge. I just hope he loves U̶̲̥̅̊ as much as U̶̲̥̅̊ love him. Wishing U̶̲̥̅̊ all d best.
U see marriage u dey complain. U better settle down and forget about fantasies. So many get proposed to but the marriage never happens. U should be grateful
Swt hrt I can imagine how U̶̲̥̅̊ feel now, but some men don't propose b4 marriage, I wonder y. But since ur wedding is fixed already, U̶̲̥̅̊ have an edge. I just hope he loves U̶̲̥̅̊ as much as U̶̲̥̅̊ love him. Wishing U̶̲̥̅̊ all d best.
i got married without an engagement ring...it was my choice not to have one because i did not see the need....that being said i am not traditional and i believe that the wedding band is more symbolic than the engagement ring....however no proposal....how did yall decide to get married then...at the end of the day marriage is much more than the engagement ring....and the wedding ceremony....it is what happens after the wedding that is more important and i am saying with ample experience as a married lady....at the end of the day...if u think its very important then tell ur fiance....but if u feel its important because of what people will say then u need to do some soul searching
Do you love him? If the answer is yes, then marry him.
My husband didn't give me an engagement ring and we are married today. I got home and his proposal was 'we have been living together for a while, to make our relationship formal and holy in the eyes of the Lord, let's get married'. I don't regret going ahead with the arrangement, he went to pick the date and left me with looking for the rings(he paid for them). He is too shy to buy anything for a lady as he asks his mum to help.
Long and short, you will have the ring on your finger when you eventually get married and wear it for the rest of your life.
i got married without an engagement ring...it was my choice not to have one because i did not see the need....that being said i am not traditional and i believe that the wedding band is more symbolic than the engagement ring....however no proposal....how did yall decide to get married then...at the end of the day marriage is much more than the engagement ring....and the wedding ceremony....it is what happens after the wedding that is more important and i am saying with ample experience as a married lady....at the end of the day...if u think its very important then tell ur fiance....but if u feel its important because of what people will say then u need to do some soul searching
Yes its possible to get married without an engagement ring,I've been married for 7yrs now and i never got an engagement ring but i knew he was serious cos he told me his intention from the first day we met and we got married exactly 265days after we met.....so follow ur heart gal
My dear i am presently in dat same situation with u ohh, anytime i ask he tells me if d ring s all dat matters or d marriage itself, am scared oh, my introduction s 2 saturdays frm now. Abeg LIR pls advice abeg
mehn my dear u are not alone...hahaha! Same happened to my friend the in London. Her fiance no propose..no ring. He just went ahead and did IKU AKA (Introduction). A And the embarassing thing then was anytime we the ladies go out, my friend starts blabbing that she's engaged and planning a wedding...then the people she's blabbing to would ask to see her ring all excited..then my friend go yarn one stupid excuse like Uhmm..she's getting it re-sized! LOL! I dunno why men do that...I guess they figure if u guys are working towards marriage why does he have to ask u again and spend more money. I don dey sing and hint am to my bobo now..even tho we are working towards marriage..I still dey yarn him proposal stories and spam him with wedding websites! Hahaha!
Yes dear, there's no big deal abt it. I ve been married for 5 years n wen I say married, I mean" super happily married". My hubby didn't propose officially, he just started askn me questions n started talking to me abt d future, introduced me to his parents n just weeks b4 our wedding, he travelled got d rings n i started wearing one of dem. Some men aren't just dat mushy. Don't mind any1 who says he loves u less. I still tease my hubby abt it but I wake up everyday blessing d day I met him.
My dear, i haven't hear of this before, he might be hiding something. nonetheless, request that he proposes to u or else, no introduction. thats d norm,if he truly loves u and wants to spend the rest of his life with u, he would be willing to make that small scarifice.
Lol! Swthart, y vnt U̶̲̥̅̊ told him bout ur fantasy? U̶̲̥̅̊ r bout 2 b married 2 someone dats making a joke bout ur ENGAGEMENT RING?, dats kinda weird to M̶̲̅ε̲̣ o! Come on,remind him how much U̶̲̥̅̊ wud love being proposed 2. Yes, I knw dere r some guys dat don't propose but ermmmm! Its absurd. So far U̶̲̥̅̊ love her enuf 2 marry den U̶̲̥̅̊ should love her enuf 2 fulfill her fantasy. #waitnformorecomments#.....& no insults
its neither here nor there. Since u said it has always been ur fantacy, speak to ur man about it...as in REALLY.The marriage is the main thing if u ask me. Proposal or not, life goes on once u r happy wit him. I can tell u for sure that there r married women who didn't get proposed to n r happy. Good luck
Of cos dear,I have 2 friends dat are happily married now dat deir husbands never gave them a proposal ring,d ring doesn't determine ur happiness.he loves u,he picked u to be his wife dats wats matters*
If ur nt happy about it..sit him down n talk about it with him sersly...tell him u want an engagement ring..cs if u start lettin him laff off ur problems nw its only gonna get worse n affect ur marriage...he's about to be ur husband so talk to him about it sersly...its ur right..I didn't say go n fite with him oo Tosin
honestly there r some men with archaic mentality.an unc of mine once told me its bush men who proposes 2 their ladies.i laughed and laugh so hard.there was absolutely nothing i cld tell hm 2 change hs idea.but i personally believe its d ideal thing;i mean proposing wit a cute ring.simple!
Hi Ladies, Is it Marriage or wedding ceremony that you are interested in? Ladies, note that most serious guys and forwarding don't even know all these cramps that you are demanding. Its western culture, not African
Your case remind me of the Primary School song: Some have food but cannot eat; Some can eat but have no food...
The previous writer was concerned about the look of her engagement ring while you're concerned about not receiving any.
As I was reading your message, the current Harp advert on TV came to my mind, which is what you want.
Is your fiance romantic? If Yes, maybe he doesn't believe in the get down on one knee and propose thingy. He could be a modern guy with an old school mentality.
If No, then accept him that way or you could still try to make him realise that the proposal with ring thing has always been your dream that you've witnessed it happen to your friends and loved ones and would also love to experience the proposal feelings and emotions.
If he still sees it as a joke then don't force it on him. A good man is not define by how he proposed but by the content of his character.
I went through the same thing, darling, I'm guessing ur married to a muslim, Because its not in islam to have rings, its more of n westernised custom we have adopted, howvever I felt deprieved n empty without one,so I explained this to my husband and he gave me money n I went to choose one my self to be honest was the best decision, n I'm very happy I have a ring that I love, you just have to talk to your husband. Speak from your heart tell him its what symbolsing ur marriage andd its way to distinguish ur a married woman, because as a women you can't just settle in a marriage without having certain thing you won't fall for, let him know if wants to marry these the small things you require as its always Been something uv expected as a girl growing up, without seeming materialistic or money hungry, because that is a turn off
Of course dearie,u mustn't get proposed before d actaul marriage arrangement.So plz dn't b disturbed abut it alrite.Ur wedding wil hold with or without d engagement ring*winks*
Haha I know that feeling . My sis got hers a day before her introduction after we mounted pressure on her groom. He's probably. Old fashioned ,shy or still planning a surprise lmao! Tht shit weird mehn!
Lol. We get wahala for this generation o. Since when did all these things matter? I thought marriage was the main thing and by marriage I mean living with the person and bla after the wedding. I can't even begin to count how many people I know who were never proposed to. My sister please get this worry out of your mind and concentrate on what you'll do to make your marriage work. You're just sweating over the wrong matter. As for the babe who no like her ring, I can only laugh so hard. How many of our mothers even remember to wear their fancy rings these days? Lmao! As long as you love him and he makes you happy, better stay happy.
i dont believe you , so did his eople just wake up one morning and decided to go see your people for introduction? the moment he told you he wants to marry you(with or without ring)and that his people will be coming to see your people thats proposal.
of course there are many people without proposals or engagement rings. Is it abusrd? YES!Does it make him love you less, or make him less of a man? NO! It just depends on the man's nature and how romantic he is.
Im happily married to d best man on earth.he dint propose neida did he gv m an engagemnt ring,nd he made a joke out of it wen i did ask him to.it ws my fantasy too buh mans ways ar not Gods ways
If he didn't propose, how did you guys arrive at setting up the engagement and traditional.
Weird situation. If this is how you start this aspect of your life, you will definitely not have a say in the rest of your life. You sound like a passenger on the path of your own life.....
Pheeeeeew!This is a 1st! Hez daring to b different.My sister just enjoy the flow and enjoy ur marriage, @ least hez up for the marriage.Some peeps aint up for proposal,ring and even marriage, they just waste d girls tym.Happy married life in Advance.
My now husband, proposed to me a day before the introduction, we live abroad, and it was being done at home with our parents (We're Igbo).
Many women get engaged and dont proceed to even intro and wedding. In my own culture(Igbo), introduction (iku aka) is bigger than a ring, because all the extended fam is involved. With a ring, the guy can easily propose today and we can end it tomorrow, when intro is done, he'll now have to answer to his family.
I totally understand how you feel cus that's the same thing that happened to me, but there was a little twist(suprise to it) and i hope it's the same in your case to say the least. Well my fiance didn't give me an egagement ring till the day of the introduction. He said he wanted everyone(especially my whole family) to see it and to him it is tradition and the way "it's suppose to be." And before the introduction i will never had guess that is what he would do cus he will ignore the topic and always made excuses. So let's pray and hope it goes down that road especially if at this point, he doesnt see why you should have an engagement ring.
I most say when i read your story, it was a flash back cus that's exactly what happened to me. But the twist behind it is i got my engagement ring on day of my intriduction. it was a surprise and my fiance did that cus he wanted my whole family to see it and to him it is how "tradition is suppose to be." he always ignored me when i brough up the topic of an engagement ring. it was so beutiful and i couldnt have picked a better ring. so lets hope and pray thats the same case here.
If u let this slide he will never buy anything for u thru out d course of ur marriage. He will continue to shirk his responsibilities towards u and ur children. I biliv some families place this curse on there sons so there can never be aggrement b/w the husband and wife. The bible says 1 can kill a thousand but 2 can kill 10 thousand. That is an example of the type of exponential increase a couple can achieve with the power of agreement. Men that are being 'remotely controlled' will aquire an education, work hard but will have nothing to show for it. The wife unknowingly will have to carry this burden for life. May Gid deliver us all. Amen
I read the earlier post about not liking her engagemet ring. A beg, if you don't like it. Tell him and if he loves you, he'll change it because he should want to make you happy..... On to this post.
My dear, I got married without an engagement ring. Granted it was just a court wedding. We got "affordable" rings for that. We just had our "wedding" 1 year later and did not get my engagement ring till like a month before. Bottom line, he's going to marry you se? So no wahala na. As a matter of fact, I picked out my own ring because I was not going to chance not liking it. So my advice to you is not to sweat it BUT make sure he still gets you an engagement ring because you DESERVE it. And dont let your friends/family harrass you about the ring either. He may be saving for one like my hubby was doing. Just make sure you get one. Also let him know how important it is to you cause you know men...they can be very clueless.
Wear engagement ring till u get to the foot of Jesus, or get married without an engagement ring.... Pick one? Beta get married and retire in ur husbands house. In these days of wicked men, dat will giv a girl engagement ring, jst to spoil her market for other men, meanwhile dey will not agree to remove the girl frm the shelf. 4yrs she is still wearing the engagement ring
People get rings and proposal and never get to the altar. I think u should relax. You are the chosen one that is why his family is coming to meet yours . You will get a ring in the front of family and friends , that is the real thing. Do not go and start unnecessary quarrel that will destroy the joy that is coming your way. A word is enough for the wise.
PLEASE explain to me how u r getting married when he did not propose to u...like how did he tell u u were getting married ....did u guys just sit n discuss?
I need to knw this. absurd sturvs. WHAT SORT OF GUY DOES NOT PROPOSE?!!
P.s tht guy just used style to save money in his pocket, biko be careful oh. Thanks.
lol. You are just worrying about a proposal and an engagement ring a couple of days before your introduction?? And this became a problem after reading a post from another lady who didn't like her engagement ring. OMG!! How old are you? I'll really like to know. OMG!! lol. You can't make a decision all by yourself?? What's going to happen after you get married? You're going to see your friend's husband buy her wife a car..., now you going to go home and cause wahala for ur husband. Frank, you this useless husband, buy me a car cuz Ngozi's husband just bought her a car!
I agree with you that a man should propose and offer an engagement ring to the woman he wishes to marry. But what makes ur own situation just terrible for you as a mature person is the fact that you were all fine and okay with you not having an engagement ring and not having been proposed to, until you read an anonymous post about someone else. This is really terrible because it shows you're not an independent person with her own mind and you are easily affected by your surroundings! Who the hell wants to marry a woman like that for this Lagos here, with a lot of opportunities for others to decide for you how to live ur life and manage your marriage.
You shouldn't do something just because other people have done it, or just because other people are doing it. You don't take crap just because others took it. You don't settle for less just because other people settled for less. What if a lot of married ladies out there got married without an engagement ring?? Then what? You can then feel okay with it? You let society decide for you what to do with your life? This is why I want to know how old you are! A fool at 40 is a fool forever! Just like Naija is a fool forever! lol.
And why do people go on blogs to seek marital advice from anonymous people? Seeking advice from total strangers who you can't even see. You have no idea who these people advising you are.
But anyways, here you go: tell your fiance you want him to propose to you and give you a ring before any introduction. And if he says he's not going to that, then tell you're not going to marry him. Or better yet, wait until you read another similar post and do exactly the same thing as the poster.
Nne are you getting married to an igbo man? Na wetin my husband do, after the intro and trad wedding when him don sure say we don marry that's when flew to new york for a short holiday and do some shoping for the white wedding then he bought and engagment ring and proposed properly. Very silly man
First TALK about it and let him know that its been a dream of yours to be treated like a Queen, certainly within your means, and even if its 500 naira or 50k ring its the thought and symbol that matters. You are not reinventing marriage you just want to feel special like every other woman because you are truly SPECIAL.
If he cannot see reason then dump him otherwise you will FOREVER, regret and resent him and the sham marriage. This is 2012.
Do not let any man make you feel less.
My questions to you are these; what is the age difference? Who is more financially stable amongst the 2 of you? Is he being forced or under pressure to marry you? Do you know if he is emotionally damaged? Are you pregnant for him? Is he affectionate to you or does he treat you specially or as a commoner? (I have not asked if he loves you) Do u 2 have any formal education? In fact okada boys, traders and hawkers give rings.
My dear start like u mean to finish otherwise you will be a fool for one-sided love.
If it is a joke on his part do not be his object of ridicules. If it is a form of control then dump his ass because you will forever be his doormat and fool. What's will be next? He may say take public transport and not drive?
The writing may just be on the wall. If it is, then RUN!!!.
Someday some man will give you a symbol of his love and make you his queen.
And if you never marry better for you than being in a bondage of marriage.
♍Ɣ friend,engagement is not our culture it is t̶̲̥̅̊o̲̣̥я̲̣̣̥ the western people. The introduction of both families is the engagement party. A̶̲̥̅♏ a married woman with a lovely girl and ♍Ɣ marriage is the best ΒU̶̲̥̅̊ђ U̶̲̥̅̊ know ? was not engaged b4 ♍Ɣ wedding.so dear be wise and work towards the introduction cerimony. Don't let our Nigerians girls fool Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ cos most girls †̥D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ buy engagement rings by their self.
I got married 7 years ago. No proposal, no ring. I am not even sure I can tell I know how we graduated from boyfriend/ girlfriend to fiance/ fiancée. I did feel the way you feel right now for a while but I soon got over it and focused on the marriage. We are both very happy and still very in love with each other. I would marry him again , ring or no ring.
My dear, Its not absurd.my marriage will be 6yrs in November and my husband did not give me a ring before the wedding,and I can boldly tell you I did not regret marrying him.its not all men that does te proposal thing not because they don't value you or cherish U̶̲̥̅̊ or being old school,but because its not dir own way of doing things.Either he proposes or not you both have agreed to live together for the rest of ur lives, to me the proposal doesn't change anything,some av bin proposed to for years and yet they r not yet married.please go ahead with your wedding plans and drop your childhood fantasies,this is your real world ahead of you.wish you all the best
hmmm this sounds like my story. I got married in June, had no engagement ring or any proposal but it all came during the engagement ceremony and I had the best time of my life. I love fairy tales and the whole works e.g being proposed to and all that. at the end of the day, its the love that sustains both of u and not the stories your able to share. Be patient, I am sure he is not stupid. He has probably bought your ring and he is just waiting for the right moment. I dont know why some guys choose to just go along with the whole wedding plans etc without a formal proposal. it appears to be more common than i had imagined too. i was so worried but my friends and family held me down and i am still happy. Good luck. cheers.
Switi it depends on the kind of man ur marrying..it depends if he's our father's age or frm deir generation, he wnt bliv in d engagement thingy cos dey weren't into it..he's probably an urhobo man..nt the new generation very enlightened/romantic one o..hehe if he is, yu shuld be lucky he's even payin and goin tru d rites cos dey usu dnt like to do dat..
I understand how u feel dear so just to let u know that there r ladies out there who got married without been proposed to or even getting an engagement ring. I am one of those ladies and it doesn't change anything. What's really important is that you go ahead and enjoy a very happy and healthy matrimony. There is nothing absurd about it... so cheer up, plan and look forward to your big day
Am.happily married. was not proposed to and didn't have any engagement ring but am.not bothered about it. my husband still teases me abt it. what matters is the love and ur happiness. d ring and all d proposal razzmattaz does not count.
What's there in having the ring before the engagement? i personally dont want a ring before my traditional marriage, why? cos the guy will have to buy another ring....i refuse to wear one ring after he proposes and then remove that ring and place it as if its new on the bible for the traditional marriage(#personal opinion...i want my ring fresh off the box not fresh off my hands). moreover, is it the ring that'll make your marriage?or make u more committed to him? and excuse me....didnt u agree to the date set in November? why are you now fussing over a proposal?u for tell am say make he propose before una pick date na.this is a trivial matter that does not evn need to be discussed outside. worry about ur life with him, ur marriage and your future..not about material things like rings and definitely not about the proposal...there are better things to worry about. All the best!
How did u start d wedding plans without a proposal? This seems to me like a fluke! Seems to me like u are planning to marry someone who never asked for ur hand in marriage... Maybe there's more to this story
Dnt worry girl- ur free 2 dream in lyf, dreams so long as they r not in anyway harmful are gud especially wen dey are realistic n u hav a rational way of making it happen. My advise 2 u is 2 tell him in a serious but respectful way abt how u always 2 hav a ring n a proper proposal n how much it wud mean 2 u if he does dat. Make him undastand dat u dnt love him any lesser but, he wud b making ur once in a lyftym dream come tru.
Hmmm! Hw can u fix introduction date without hearing him say 'I want to marry u' or "I want u wake up wit u by my side forever"? Even in the most casual way? Anyway,my husband proposed to me on our ist date. No ring bt he meant it. 2 and half years later and 2wks to my wedding,I got d engagement ring. My dear,not all fantasies come true. Some do and then disappear.( Remember kim's wedding)Bt I think he must hav told u somehw he wants to marry. Unless it is arrangee btw both parents or u were bethrothed to him frm chidhood. Seriously!
My dearif you are sure this is the man you want to marry don't get to upset, maybe he isn't the enlightened type. To be honest aloof Nigerian men don't really propose ( don't mind all the stories u hear) . If you want a ring then collect money from him and buy one yourself..shikena!
No big deal. My man didn't propose to me either and we're 2yrs married. I know it's rather unromantic (I still give him grief for not proposing) but hey, so long as you love him :)
Usually, I don't comment, but cos I was 1ce in ur Situation, I will. To start With, its not really a good thing not to be Proposed to b4 marriage or even introduction for that matter, but as it is now, since u guys are making marriage plans Already, he may not do it again, and that's a phase of ur life u will miss for life, getting married without being proposed to is like having a child outside wedlock, My husband never proposed to me, everthing happened really fast and up till date I think he sees me as d 1 who rushed him, and honestly I never did, I was just playing along, and anytime I now read or hear about pple being proposed to I feel useless and cheap. Proposal is d first stage b4 being intoducing him as ur fiance to ur parents. As it is now, since d day is fixed, I won't tell u not to continue, if u guys are close and friends, maybe u should just enjoy ur day and go ahead. But I bet, it will hurt u for life.have a nice life.
Nne men are in short supply ooo.with or without d ring just open ur doors wen he comes wit his pple for d intro.u can as well buy one wen u go to shop for ur wedding rings.tinz don't always happen d way we plan it.so girl snap out from dat fantasy of urs
I feel u dear.pple are difrent.its nt all men dat propose.sm jst go ahead wit weddn plans.he wil surely get d engagment ring along wit d weddn ring.am sure at sm point yle courting he must hv proposd stylishly.mine proposd witout a ring bt during d trad wedn he gav me d engagement ring.if ur man is Godfearing,loving,caring abeg relax
U don't ve to worry ur head aboUt any proposal or ring.look forward to spending blissful moment with this wonderful man u re getting married to in november.if u really want to show off,go buy yourself a ring.
for you to agree to whatever arrangement or the introduction makes u desperate !! now why wont he propose to you? that is how disrespect n see finish starts.BETTER WARN HIM OR YOU CANCEL THE WHOLE THING!
My dear its not strange. I am married with a wonderful son and the best man i can ever dream of but my husband no propose ooo.i didnt have the joy of experiencing all the kneeling down and putting a ring and all the fantasies but i am happily married thats what counts really. Its not about the proposal its about the joy of your marriage. when people ask me how he proposed i just laugh cos there is nothing to say. We just picked a date and VOILa here i am. Sean
My dear,I am having the best marriage one can dream of. I still can't remember how it happened but my husband never proposed to me nor did I get a ring. D ring no matter ooo,na compatibility,love and trust be d koko.
Babe,u knw wt u wnt! D truth z dt its possible 2 get married without engagement but u may live unappreciated in such union since u have a childhood fantasy which still bothers you,d Qs is....which is more important 2 u,Engagement b4 marriage or Marriage without Engagement! Place ur priorities right so u dnt live with regrets......just saying!
I ve bn married for five years wth a lovely son & we re both in love wth eachother till date..i was never proposed too then & never got an engagement ring bf my wedding day.so not bn proposed too or engagement ring is not an issue @ all.al dat matters is u re getting married to ur man soon & u ll get al d rings on d D day ok..some men doesnt believe in d oyinbos culture kneeling down & asking will u marry me?wen already u don meet al his family member finish.abeg enjoy ur day on sat & look forward to nov ok..wish u a blissful marriage...mmwah
when i read comments like this .. I ask my self is something wrong with the poster.. You are asking linda ikeji who is not married or who has never being proposed to not to talk of engage in a serious relationship to help you out?.. Haba babe go meet your pastor or whoever is you spiritual head for advice and not LIBers because they will never know what it is like being in your shoes
Babe,u knw wt u wnt! D truth z dt its possible 2 get married without engagement but u may live unappreciated in such union since u have a childhood fantasy which still bothers you,d Qs is....which is more important 2 u,Engagement b4 marriage or Marriage without Engagement! Place ur priorities right so u dnt live with regrets......just saying!
No engagement ring how?infact the whole story sounds like children within the ages of 2,3-5yrs discussing,do u two joke so much that you have to meet ur parents without engaging you?or abi he thinks we are still in the 40tys/50tys.well,guys are full of surprises,wait and see the surprise nne.but as for me,if I don't get that ring months b4 the date of my wedding,I no de show u road sef to whr my papa and mama de live
I'm getting married in dec n iont have a ring Bcos we both agreed I shouldn't wear a ring so as to catch some 'enemies' by surprise. Soooooo yes I'm getting married without an eng ring.he didn't propose too cos I already told me he's dating me for marriage. So he jes asked me if it'd b ok to do our intro when next I came around (that was 5mths back and I was out of Lagos) n I said twas ok. Soooo he didn't directly propose on one knee...if you love him girl, there's nothing absurd here o
If he likes u enuf to want to get married 2 u, den i tink u shld relax & don't boda urself bout d whole engagement ring stuf. W@ counts is w@ u both feel 4 each oda. Tho it has been ur fantasy frm childhood, bt we don't alwasy get w@ we want in life u knw? So relax and be euphoric jare.... Infact get frenzy. Gd luck... *Big smile*
:) :) Sweerie ! Relax . In as much as things are supposed to be done the right way for courtesy sake, your getting married to the man of yur heart.. Let go fantasy and face yur own reality cause its yurs. You have been with him for a very long time cause that's usually the case and He believes you know him more than anybody to know he loves you.... :) Congrats once again ...
My dear, i also dreamed of it but i never got one and yet am about to wed. But if u wld like it, why not let him give u d engagement ring at ur introduction ceremony. After all, dats wat introduction is all about.
my dear many women were not proposed to, some even went as far as buying the rings themselves claiming their hubby bought it for them.you and l know that most Nigerian Men are not romantic at all so if you like him, just take him the way you see him and still talk to him about it jokingly, who knows he might just change.Carry on with your wedding preparations and Good luck
do you want a wedding or a ring? berra be wise dear, there's a reason for every treason... face reality and dump fantasy.. You're gonna get a wedding ring on ur wedding day.
My dear, i also dreamed of it but i never got one and yet am about to wed. But if u wld like it, why not let him give u d engagement ring at ur introduction ceremony. After all, dats wat introduction is all about.
Some men are not romantic and such things dont matter to them. I am a very romantic person but my husband is the complete opposite. I wasnt proposed to either and we've been married for over 8yrs nw but my husband adores me and i think thats the most important thing. In life you dont always get what you want. So if he loves u in all d right ways, go for it.
Dear LIB reader, trouble not yourself, he might just be waiting until d day of your introduction to do it. But my husband didn't propose to me ,even when we started making arrangements for introduction I said he has not asked me to marry him; he said from the begining he came with the intention of marrying me and refered to me as his wife tobe to his friends and family and eventually we got married; so maybe that his own way. talk with him, and share ur dreams, he might surprise you, but d important thing is that you know he is serious and you are getting married.
Na wa oh. But how den did both of u fix a date without u been proposed to? Abi he told u verbally? T's a natural thing to get propsed to 1st na b4 D needful. Plz no mata hw many tyms stress ur point oh. Abi him no fit afford ring ni?
i didnt get a proposal ring before i got married.from the first time i met my hussband he told his intentions is to marry me and not to keep me as a girlfriend.proposal ring or no proposal ring what matters is the peace and joy u have in ur marriage.
sweetheart ur are lucky to even be gettn married some pple no get bf talkless of fiance so focus on ur wedding preparation afterall u will get a ring on ur wedding day.
You are already his... I don't think there's still a need for proposal because everything about you both in and out, he knows that's why he feels reluctant taking any special path to marrying you. I'm glad that he is ready to take you as his wife. Advice for spinsters: no matter how close you and your man are, always try to keep respectful and sincere pace from him from time to time, also try to preserve some precious things within your capacity from him...this wil make him see your hand worth begging for, your finger worth wearing an engagement ring, and more special moments worth fulfilling...
Meanwhile congrats in advance. It doesn't matter at all because A̶̲̥̅♏ a living testimony, my husband didn't propose not to talk of giving ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ ring but today we have putting on six years together to the glory of God. So don't worry u are blessed....congrats.
Of course! Loads of them got married without an engagement ring! Does it really matter? Being together in love is d koko! not ring or whatsoever. Some of our men don't count stuffs like dat n some do! Diff strokes for diff pple. Go girl n have a fantastic wedding.
there are some women without engagement rings and even without wedding bands so it happens my dear.can he afford it?becos a man mite want to buy u quality and may nt b able to afford it,if he can then i wonder y he wnt.
Lol. Babe, how did you allow the introduction to get to Saturday without a ring? It seems you don't have a say in the marriage. Abeg, threaten the guy to give you a ring, else you ain't marrying him.
Your desires may not be God's desires for you. What really matters is the marriage and if thats what your spouse wants, then i see no trouble in it. Good luck
did my introduction in May this year and i would be getting married before the end of this year, although no date yet but i still do not have an engagement ring and nothing like "will you marry me?"but we are cool and we love each other very much so i don't think its an issue at all.
African men... i tire. There is nothing bad about it, when my hubby was going to propose he cried and it was funny. So some men can"t handle the emotions it will bring. Check it out, our many fathers in those told their children they loved them, hugged them. do mushi mushi things with their kids. Arfican men are very stiff. Can't hold hands publicly, can't display emotions- it is seen as a sign of weakness.
Dis remind me d dat my hubby proposed to me wit a ring in sacred holy place of God(church) it was wonderful.my sis it doesnt matter.d most imp.tin is dt he luvs u.
I want you to know its not all about d proposal or engagement ring but the guy's sincerity. We have so many pple who got expensive rings and beautiful proposals who are no longer together cos they cannot stand or tolerate themselves. Search your heart and ask yourself "is this what I want and will I be happy in this relationship". For as long as u remain best of friends and great lovers every other thing will fall in place. But if u feel otherwise then the choice is your to move on. I wish u the best. Take care
Well all the proposing bruhaha maybe Ą̸̸̨͡ sweet gesture nd romantic bt п̥̥̲̣̣̣̥ my own opinion I think u shud be bodad wit if his Τ̲̅ђe man 4 u, if he will make u hapi 4 Τ̲̅ђe rest of Ʊȑ lyf. Wnt u prefer happiness ova proposal any day. If he can make u Τ̲̅ђe happiest lady alive I think u shud go 4 it nd ignore Τ̲̅ђe whole fantasy he proposed 2 u Τ̲̅ђe day he 1st said "I L♥√ε̲̣̣̣ u"
Sweetie, is it about a hundred million euro engagement ring or about a hapi home, with yur hubby loving u like a lilly on a daily basis?
Pls don't get carried away with ds fantasy. A man that can agree to have an introduction and fix a wedding date for November has his mind made up.
Yea it's our dream 2 flunt our engagement rings but I was not given one, I was not proposed to.... I have d very best home in d world.
Yur fiance might be like my hubby who does not believe in stuffs like that and if u do not carry him along 4rm d initial stage of the relationship, he won't see anything wrong in not giving u an engagement ring or proposing to u.
Yes I did my trad wedding without an engagement ring and now dat I've come 2 think of it he didn't propose. We were just talking on d phone about defining our relationship then he said he wud cum n do d rite thing
Oh dear, an engagement ring isn't a marriage ring. Some men dnt Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ the need for an engagement ring cos they feel confident d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ already have U̶̲̥̅̊, which is bad. But believe U̶̲̥̅ talk †̥ him very seriosly about it, afta talkin seriosly †̥ him about it, if he still jokes about it. FLEE FROM HIM. Cos hez nt a serious husband.
Babe don't look out 4 a perfect marriage proposal,look out 4 a perfect marriage. don't be bothered too much bout d ring until ur white wedding. It doesn't mean he doesn't love u
Dear friend, what is special about engagement ring? am sure before the two you could fix this saturday for your introduction, he must have proposed to you either directly or indirectly. is not that this guy asked you to move to his house without meeting your family formally.....do you know how many ladies are out there looking for a man, to hide under his umbrella( legally or illegally). so, erase the "engagement ring-nonsense" from your mind and go get yoursef married to your man.
Lol, by the grace of God I've been married for 4 years and I still joke about not being proposed to and my husband laughs about it. It dosen't matter, as long as he loves u. Haven't u seen ladies with expensive diamond engagement rings yet the relationship did not last. God is the foundation that solidifies a union, and not engagement ring or proposition. Congrats my dear!
Babe if you are sure he trully wants to spend his life with you then this really isnt an issue. My hubby never proposed to me even after 7 yrs of dating buh we got officially introduced 9 months before our wedding. From the monent we met, he knew he was going to spend d rest of his life with me, likewise me. Best thing is we went shopping for our bands and my engagement ring bou a month before the wedding. However, i choose not to wear it until the traditional ceremony after he had been tru all the 'dobaleing' :-). My today we have been happily married 2yrs blessed by a sonnand the love keeps getting even stronger sef. So my dear, never sweat the small stuff. Who knows, you might even still get ur ring before the wedding. I know people who have been intoduced before getting a ring. You might get a chance to chose the EXACT ring of your dreams, i bet the girl with d ugly ass ring will die to be in this position.....
I believe he had already proposed to you and you have given him your answer indirectly, since both of you had already agreed on a date for introduction and the wedding proper.
I have been married for 11years now, and I never receive engagement ring, but all I know is I am loved by my husband and treated like an egg, to me that is all I need in a marriage.
Because of movies n western influence all around us,we tend to glamorise everything. Its not bad to be proposed to bt not all guys attach so much importance to it. The most important thing is how he treats u and if he respects u. Forget all those lovey dovey stuff. Guys r into respect more than love. I was engaged and got the best proposal most girls can ever dream of, bt I wasn't treated right. I am grateful daily that I bailed out n I have someone better. So ask urself babe; DOES HE TREAT U RIGHT?DOES HE DISRESPECT YOU?
pls linda post my comment ..oooo my dear young lady, ring makes no meaning provided u ar happy with d union. were a ring is highly necessary is on ur wedding day. as am talking 2 u now, my first wine carrier has been done by my fience nd my traditional marriage is coming up by november nd yet he has not given me a ring nd we ar both madly in luv with each other. my dear, dont alow ur priorities 2 rub u off ur jewel... ook
258 comments:
1 – 200 of 258 Newer› Newest»Buy ursef d ring if dat mks u happy.. Its jst a RING.. It doesn't mata, u marriage ring matas more..BeBe
Na shot gun you use hold am make in marry you? Or is it that he doesn't have money? Maybe he is having it custom made for you and wants to surprise you. Let us know if he doesn't give you wedding ring, then we can really be worries. What more can I say?
my dear, carry go. Everybodys lifes script is written in different ways.
there is no hard and fast rule that says no engagement ring= no marriage.
But hope ur man will not in the future rub it in and say afterall he dint beg u on his knees. You know him better tho.
I think its your happiness that counts and not a mere ring :)
HML in advance hun
The most important thing is Happiness and not the engagement ring n its normal.I have an aunt that got married without an engagement ring n 25yrs after she's still very happy.
life is so funny,while some complain of their rings,some didnt get at all. Dear as long as the man loves you and your introduction and marriage is already fixed what again? some ladies when given the engagement ring,dont even wear it until they see their wedding iv. engagement no be marriage,and even marriage(wedding and engagement ring)no be happiness,love or peace of mind. ring to some people is just a fashion accessories while to some is a big deal.whatever to me just get the right thing right.
He didn't propose to me, didn't get an engagement ring, he just too me out for dinner and asked 'are u sure u really want to be my wife' my eyes rolled like they were going to pop out but hey, he's a typical bush man and I just knew he didn't know any better, he's not romantic so what do I do? Marriage is 15yrs and stl strong. Probably no one has ever done t for him to see, or he grew up n a home where mummy/daddy never dd lovey dovey or dad passed on too early, so many factors on such people's side.
Honey if he doesn't dissappear on u on ur marriage day den its ok.
Just talk 2 him and he'll prolly do it just 4 ur sake!
Billie jean
Like you said, 'your childhood fantasy'
There is no big deal, all that matters is he's ready to keep you as his wife!
I wasn't proposed to but we knew where we were headed. So much that we agreed our wedding plans on the road from an out of state journey.
Babe, enjoy the unusual, it's fun!
Anu
Yup. We are plenty. *laughs* My husband did not propose to me at all yet we have been married for 3 years. It was my fantasy too but I guess that's what it remained! But to God be the glory, we are happily married and are more in love with each other than at the beginning. So all I'll say is that ring doesn't define the joy you would experience in marriage. You could talk to his very close friends on getting some proposal if you are that passionate about it. But really, it is no big deal. *my opinion*
Its no biggie, my hubby didn't propose we just told our parents we were gettin married as for my engagement ring I wore it on d day of my traditional marriage
Yes dearie, it may sound strange but many of d married ladies out there never got an engagement ring not bcos they shouldn't but their 'african men' didn't think it dat 'important' am saying it out of experience cos I didn't get one myself. Dearie continue ur preps if u r happy cos d 'ring' doesn't garantee happiness or sustenability of the marriage (am ten years in d game nd happy with many ring 2 show)so relax nd go with d flow.
Ghost wedding!!!Lol... My dear shine ur eyez o,cos no b whn problem dey 2moro his words wil be "afterall i didnt propose 2 u!" Wonda wat kinda introduction una dey plan sef*im confused* he didnt propose n there'll b weddin?? #odiegwu o
No relationship is same hence no marriage is same either...
At least he showed interest to marry you, what if he proposed, gave you big stone ring for your engagement then backed out?
Expensive blings doesn't predict how successful the marriage is going to be.
Be patient...
He might surprise you on your engagement day or wedding day with huge blings...
Best of luck
I wouldn’t really ADVISE you, but I would simply tell you that appearances are not (necessarily) as important as the real intentions (LOVE?). I NEVER proposed formally to my present wife, but we courted for a year or so and we both knew we wanted one day to tie the knot. Twenty-two years later, we’re still together and our eldest child is 19 years old. Some people surround their courtship and finally their proposal with a lot of flowers and decoration. It’s fine as long as it’s not mere embellishment. Others (as was my case) make their choice and presto! act accordingly. Does your fiancé really love you? Is he serious about the official presentation and, more importantly, a long-term relationship (in theory “till death thou part”)? This is more important than some of the usual routines. I don’t mean to treat an official proposal and/or an engagement ring as “frivolities”, far from it. But… Ok, I know you’ve always fantasized about being proposed and put an engagement ring around your finger. Is there any close friend of his (or both of you), a relation, a sibling he listens to whom you could ask to tell him about your fantasy (wish)—if you don’t have the courage to tell him yourself? Maybe this could do the trick and make you happier. The above is actually not advice; just some musing. Good luck.
Well I am one of those ladies. At that time, I thought it weird cos I also had such fantasy of wearing an engagement ring. Though we've not done a white wedding 3years later, I will tell u the marriage is a mess. My daughter is 2years old & has never set eyes on her dad. My only joy is there was no white wedding so I believe I'm not tied down completely. I regret the marriage but thank God still for my baby.
Nig men need to b a little bit romantic but if u love him go ahead n marry him
Engagement ring to me is just a trend..what matters more is ur wedding ring. If he's serious enough to come 4 an introduction then I think u should settle down and plan wearing ur marriage ring rather than allow engagement ring cause a fume.
U ugly b...
I'm in a long distance relationship and we are gtting married in about 6weeks but I have no ring yet sha. I'm getting a proposal at some point before the wedding but I don't have it yet coz its a long distance reltonhip. I guess its a bit differnet of a situation sha. But I just thought to share.
It's abnormal 4 ur fiance nt 2 gv u engagement ring n yet wnts 2 marry u.bt mayb he knws y he prefers dat way,u shud mak him undastnd dat d ring gvs u ful assurance dat u re abt 2 wed.bt approach him nice......wat he did is nt conventional
I feel ur pain. Nt a gud 1 at all. pray very well b4 goin into it bcos he shld atleast propose nd I hop u re nt d 1 pushin d guy bcos nt lik he is ready for d dedicatn
Ofcos! There are so many married women out there that got married witout engagement ring. Mayb he doesn't fansy such. My dear, most impt tin na to tie d knots biko!
I am almost 100% sure you are Igbo. It's mostly like that with some Igbo men to the extent we Igbo are kinna used to it.
Like if my bf doesn't propose i really wont mind as long as we are getting married. That's what matters to me.
Yes, there are lots of married women out there. My hubby proposed to me on bended knees on our introduction night said he wanted to be sure my parents would accept him but he never gave me a ring just a beautiful proposal. So I think it does not really matter so long as u love each other. Are best of friends and understand each other.
the ring no b d issue dear,wht matters is how u guys feel abt yrself...just go wt d flow
Happened to me,my childhood fantasy bt never happend bt got married nd am appily married wt kids,by God on ur side if he is d right choice go ahead
My dear yes, like one thosand and one marriages out there!
Sister, don't use anyone's life as a yardstick 4urs. There are several ladies out there that av been proposed to and have expensive engagement rings but have no set wedding dates. Thank God uve got a man of urs and there is no hard and fast rule that says its must for proposals b4 wedding.....I'm sure some of ur friends envy u!
Not sure I understand dis. How & why r u marrying him wen he didn't propse to u? #BBconfusedsmiley
Linda,na me 1st post comment ooo.So publish oooo
Like seriously. No proposal. No ring. Dats not kool @ all oooo. D guy 4 buy ring na even if he no sabi propose. God help me o. Make my man no try am ooo or else I go wound person. Lol. Just joking. Cnt u tell pple 2 talk 2 him. Oma baby.
well, it happened to someone i know and the girl dint mind. i dont know where or how the proposal rule started but engagement ring shouldn't be ur issue, it should be if u and ur spouse understand each other enough to be together forever and r ready to make d commitment. on the other hand, why is ur spouse not proposing n y does he make a joke out of it? so how come u guys are getting married if he dint tell u he wants to marry you?
Aww!! I guess he loves u buh he just feels all d senrenren isit needed...buh tell him how it makes u feel--unless he can't afford it...u cud chill till wen he can...it happens all the time :)
The Fashion Engineer
My dear it is very normal. Most Nigerian relationships just metamorphos into marriage without a proposal or an engagement ring. I know a lot of people like that.
Hi Dear (see i'm nice),
i rarely leave comments but i just had to do this.
Life is about give and take. You cannot afford to sign off your life to a man while feeling cheated.
Happiness is key in life, and i believe that it is a mans' priority to ensure that his babe stays HAPPY.
You obviously want this ring, you have always fantasized about it and you owe no one an explanation for this. Also there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a ring. DO NOT let anyone convince you otherwise. Your priorities are not misplaced and you are NOT being vain.
my dear, sometimes in life, we just want what we want. and we should get it.
Also, pls note that i haven't said that your man is terrible .... He is a man and he probbaly just doesn't see such a big deal with the ring.
It is your responsibility to tell him what you want and ensure that it happens.
however, u can choose to let this slide without getting what you want. But please remember that your husband might soon not want a wife that works ( so you will have to quit your job) or a wife that does weaves or uses extensions ( you will now have to plait ur hair with thread) ..... *extreme cases maybe maybe not???
overall, its ur call. Choose to live a life while you compromise fully and get nothing in return? or insist that you get a proposal before your introduction!!!! its just monday and he's got tuesday thru saturday morning to cook something up.
Darling iyawo, pls be sure that this proposal is really TOP priority . pls do not expect to get an easy YES. you will have to insist and insist and explain why this is important to you.
Long post, enjoy reading.
Hi Dear (see i'm nice),
i rarely leave comments but i just had to do this.
Life is about give and take. You cannot afford to sign off your life to a man while feeling cheated.
Happiness is key in life, and i believe that it is a mans' priority to ensure that his babe stays HAPPY.
You obviously want this ring, you have always fantasized about it and you owe no one an explanation for this. Also there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a ring. DO NOT let anyone convince you otherwise. Your priorities are not misplaced and you are NOT being vain.
my dear, sometimes in life, we just want what we want. and we should get it.
Also, pls note that i haven't said that your man is terrible .... He is a man and he probbaly just doesn't see such a big deal with the ring.
It is your responsibility to tell him what you want and ensure that it happens.
however, u can choose to let this slide without getting what you want. But please remember that your husband might soon not want a wife that works ( so you will have to quit your job) or a wife that does weaves or uses extensions ( you will now have to plait ur hair with thread) ..... *extreme cases maybe maybe not???
overall, its ur call. Choose to live a life while you compromise fully and get nothing in return? or insist that you get a proposal before your introduction!!!! its just monday and he's got tuesday thru saturday morning to cook something up.
Darling iyawo, pls be sure that this proposal is really TOP priority . pls do not expect to get an easy YES. you will have to insist and insist and explain why this is important to you.
Long post, enjoy reading.
My dear,you re not alone!av bin dating my bf 4almost a year now.I av no single doubt in my mind dat we are headin 4marriage(and I hardly bliv in men)av met his pple,he has met mine.we've plan our lives 2geda,and he jus moved2a house I want4us,we see EVERY single day,we bhave like we are married inshort!now my friends kip bugging me about him proposing2me cos they feel wats he waiting4.in turn I bug him sumtyms too but like υr man he laffs it off.am afraid he might not do the whole magical romantic proposing thing.truth is am beginning2accept my fate,I think you shud do so too or betta still as a friend adviced me.you can propose2him,afta all we are in a leap year*wink* its allowed.lolol,goodluck in your marriage
Hi Dear (see i'm nice),
i rarely leave comments but i just had to do this.
Life is about give and take. You cannot afford to sign off your life to a man while feeling cheated.
Happiness is key in life, and i believe that it is a mans' priority to ensure that his babe stays HAPPY.
You obviously want this ring, you have always fantasized about it and you owe no one an explanation for this. Also there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a ring. DO NOT let anyone convince you otherwise. Your priorities are not misplaced and you are NOT being vain.
my dear, sometimes in life, we just want what we want. and we should get it.
Also, pls note that i haven't said that your man is terrible .... He is a man and he probbaly just doesn't see such a big deal with the ring.
It is your responsibility to tell him what you want and ensure that it happens.
however, u can choose to let this slide without getting what you want. But please remember that your husband might soon not want a wife that works ( so you will have to quit your job) or a wife that does weaves or uses extensions ( you will now have to plait ur hair with thread) ..... *extreme cases maybe maybe not???
overall, its ur call. Choose to live a life while you compromise fully and get nothing in return? or insist that you get a proposal before your introduction!!!! its just monday and he's got tuesday thru saturday morning to cook something up.
Darling iyawo, pls be sure that this proposal is really TOP priority . pls do not expect to get an easy YES. you will have to insist and insist and explain why this is important to you.
Long post, enjoy reading.
One question and one question only? Are you pregnant?
My dear am in the same situation o.I tink my bobos just a bush man.I also think its wrong.
My husband saw this post and suspected I sent it. You are not alone.
It happens dat way dear (dat dere's no actual proposal), not dat ur thinking is absurd but some ppl jus talk abt having a future (marriage) with each other, meet each other's parents n before they know it, marriage plans. Its common with ppl who started out as friends or ve dated for really long.
yes. i know 2ppl who did.
because of how close they were (both couples) one conversation just led to another and next thing, what month do you think we shd get married'
then ok, lets tell our parents we want to do intro and no rings were bought till it was time to but the wesding set.
the comma is, wedding ring set comes in 3's and most girls want this complete set, making it difficult for a guy to propse with one, den buy another set when its time for d wedding.
bottom line, no big deal. if its causing u headache, tell him and let him get you one
I've never really come across such a situation but what matters is the love not the ring.
However, the ring should stand as a sign showing your imminent marriage. Please keep talking to him and also pray about it.
my dear, its what you've dreamed of, let him not b a dream killer. demand for one....except if he's okay with u pretending to b free and single after marriage.
am just laughing! the other one had a ring but crying its too cheap.
this one has no ring at all.
a clear case of i have no shoes, i have no shoes, now this is someone with no legs.
Ma dear yes o! I got married since 2000 and my late husband never proposed to me. We just ended up getting married. I don't see the big deal. But since you would want that maybe you should keep asking him.
My friend wuz in d same situation bt got her engagement ring d nite b4 her introduction and he surprised her wit a nicer engagement ring during d traditional weddn.d fact dat he kips avoiding d topic shows dat he plans on surprising u,so pls b patient.
I would like to propose to my future wife with a beautiful engagement ring, but everyone isn't the same. I guess your fiancé is different. I think I understand his kind. Some people are that old-fashioned/rigid. Different strokes for different folks right?
Maybe you should consider that an engagement ring doesn't make a good marriage. Kris can like to propose to kim with a diamond ring but it will pack up after 72days. Yes, the ring is supposed to be an outward expression of a deep commitment b/w 2 people, but the ring isn't as important as the relationship itself. The ring doesn't really keep the marriage together, sincerity, love & trust does. I guess at the end of the day, it's all about ur soul decisions to love each other for the rest of ur lives & how well you know & trust him that matters. If u trust him, & he's sincerely in love with u, then there might just be very little for you to worry about. Cheers
I'm also vin this problem bt d good thing s I spoke to him abt it n he agreed to, though wld ve preferred not sayin a word.
Babe I don't tink dat dude wants 2 get married 2 u,hw can u b doin ur intro witout any ring so watz d use doin it
How many fingers do u have? He will put one there on your wedding day. Or would u rather have an engagement ring and not be married in years to come? Like he buying u an engagement ring with most of his money and post-poning the wedding? Choose thou one.
Your bloke probably doesn't believe in the whole "down-on-one-knee romantic thingy". As much as being proposed to & ur pretty ring is important to you, what I feel shld be more important is: 1. He truly loves you and has your back and he's gonna take care of you & such...
Don't worry abt it, compensate urself by making him pay for an awesome honeymoon
How many fingers do u have? He will put one there on your wedding day. Or will u rather have an engagement ring and not be married in years to come? Like he buying u an engagement ring with most of his money and post-poning the wedding? Choose thou one.
Love: Muchacha
I am happily married today and my sister I didn't get an engagement ring. I also used to dream about how the guy will kneel n propose but fortunately or unfortunately, I didn't meet such guy and I couldn't have rejected an adorable man and husband because he didn't propose. So some actually don't. I don't think its a guarantee when you are proposed to. I have friends that got proposed to loooong b4 I got married n they are not married till now that am writing this. So which would you prefer to be given an engagement ring that you wear till further notice or to get married. I don't fink its absurd. That's my own opinoun. Go ahead gal n plan your wedding.
My name is Val I weeded on 9t april dis yer my wife got the 2 rings on that dat. Women and there little problems. Some doing night vigil to hook a man and dea ur taking about engagement ring. Reject de man and see what ur chief brides maid will do. Best of lk
Yes dear, there are so many marriages like dat out there. Got my engagement ring on our registry day same month I got married. So its okay hun!
Hey be happy y'all are getting married...
My boyfrnd proposed & gave me a breathtaking ring, only for the a**hole to call it off 3mo to our wedding.
Babes, u have more important things to worry abt when u get married.
Please calm down madame, in the past, in africa, der was noting like engagement ring, haba, @least ur getn intro ds saturday, u'l get a Ring then na... Wat if he cnt afford it,or just has the mentality that der's no point... Proposal ring, engagement ring,white wedding ring...eventually u'l wear just 2 na....* flips hair...but My boo had better thing Up sumfin like dat Dude that used the cinemas to propose.
My dear am not married,but I did ask my mum and she has this advice for u.
What matters most at this point in time is the love he has for u,coz dats defines d feasibilty of ur marriage,and every oda thing thing is jara. Ur case can be likened to wedding ceremony without reception,but thise marriages still survived coz d most essential ingredient LOVE wasn't lacking. The engagement ring and proposal weren't there before,but were added protocols culminating to d walk down the aisle. Don't be distracted,try let him see reasons with u,I guess this is d first test of his love,coz if he knows it will make u happy,he'll do dat for u. Happy married life in advance.
~BONARIO's MUM~says so via NOKIA3310.
Babe it is not unusual. A lot of Nigerian men do not believe in proposing. My husband proposed to me though, my male friends feel it is a western tradition and not in our culture. If he doesn't believe in it I think you should let peace reign and just be silent.
next time look for an Ajebutter boo if u so desire a romantic proposal... instead of u to be planning ur marriage u are waiting 4 Ring. biko nne wait ooo anoda girl will just take ur space
Ask ur mum to show u hers! Nigerians are not used to that. What we call introduction is what whites call engagement party. So, ur engagement is on saturday. Chill.... The ring's just a symbol. I don't pray for no engagement ring though. Ur man may be old school, don't blame him too much. Just talk him into it. Just use ur female powers!
I did. Propose to my fiancée and we are getting married this oct. But its not actually compulsory for him to give u and engagement ring. Don't trouble ur self d engagement ring. Thing more of d marriage ahead dear.
Aww I really feel bad fr u n I cn understand ur plight! Cs I v just d same dream as urs,kinda ring I want n hw to b proposed to! Well I rily cnt say much cs I hvntbn married bfr but d only explanation is in 2 phases! 1)mayb he thnks d weddn is soon y waste moni to buy an engagement ring wen ur still goin to chng it to d weddn ring nyways! 2) it could b dat he's d oldfashioned kinda guy dt doesn't biliv in proposals n dem engagement ring ish!! U shd knw him better! But deres rily nothn to wory bout my darlin! As long as ur getn married,I really understand hw u feel n for all u care,he myt still spring up a surprise ring on yu! U just can't say *winks*
What church does he attend?? Cos I knw some churches don't use neither engagement rings nor wedding rings. I actually have a friend, she's engaged bt deres no ring...her bf is an MFM member and she also is an MFM member...dats my church too..it depends on his church
I've been dating my boyfriend for 9years now, he's planning on my introduction before the year runs out....and he hasn't even proposed (officially). Anytime I ask him, he says 'is it necessary?' Loool... no proposal (ring) no introduction oh...
My dear, dey there dey wait for ring, when some girls ® waiting for there man to even say let me meet ur parent, U̶̲̥̅̊ ® abt getting married n U̶̲̥̅̊ wondering y ur man has not proposed, in some relationships guys don't ask girls to b there girlfriend,they just kiss one day, n bang! Relationship don strt b dat,....(Allow me plz) eni lori o ni fila, eni ni fila ko lori. My dear...don't bother...if love him marry him. The major ring is the one given to U̶̲̥̅̊ on ur wedding day.
ok First of all, if he didn't propose how come your introduction is this week? my dear that na paper bag marriage o,, he better do the right thing or he will take u for granted when you get married to him just like dat.
Mshewwwww...abeg,NEXT!!!
U see marriage u dye complain. U better settle down and forget about fantasies. So many get proposed to but the marriage never happens. U should be grateful
Swt hrt I can imagine how U̶̲̥̅̊ feel now, but some men don't propose b4 marriage, I wonder y. But since ur wedding is fixed already, U̶̲̥̅̊ have an edge. I just hope he loves U̶̲̥̅̊ as much as U̶̲̥̅̊ love him. Wishing U̶̲̥̅̊ all d best.
Person wey get head no get cap, person wey get cap no get head to put am.
U see marriage u dey complain. U better settle down and forget about fantasies. So many get proposed to but the marriage never happens. U should be grateful
Swt hrt I can imagine how U̶̲̥̅̊ feel now, but some men don't propose b4 marriage, I wonder y. But since ur wedding is fixed already, U̶̲̥̅̊ have an edge. I just hope he loves U̶̲̥̅̊ as much as U̶̲̥̅̊ love him. Wishing U̶̲̥̅̊ all d best.
i got married without an engagement ring...it was my choice not to have one because i did not see the need....that being said i am not traditional and i believe that the wedding band is more symbolic than the engagement ring....however no proposal....how did yall decide to get married then...at the end of the day marriage is much more than the engagement ring....and the wedding ceremony....it is what happens after the wedding that is more important and i am saying with ample experience as a married lady....at the end of the day...if u think its very important then tell ur fiance....but if u feel its important because of what people will say then u need to do some soul searching
Do you love him? If the answer is yes, then marry him.
My husband didn't give me an engagement ring and we are married today. I got home and his proposal was 'we have been living together for a while, to make our relationship formal and holy in the eyes of the Lord, let's get married'. I don't regret going ahead with the arrangement, he went to pick the date and left me with looking for the rings(he paid for them). He is too shy to buy anything for a lady as he asks his mum to help.
Long and short, you will have the ring on your finger when you eventually get married and wear it for the rest of your life.
i got married without an engagement ring...it was my choice not to have one because i did not see the need....that being said i am not traditional and i believe that the wedding band is more symbolic than the engagement ring....however no proposal....how did yall decide to get married then...at the end of the day marriage is much more than the engagement ring....and the wedding ceremony....it is what happens after the wedding that is more important and i am saying with ample experience as a married lady....at the end of the day...if u think its very important then tell ur fiance....but if u feel its important because of what people will say then u need to do some soul searching
I think there are married ladies who get get married wiv out the engagement ring they kinda get the 2 on dia wedding day
Yes its possible to get married without an engagement ring,I've been married for 7yrs now and i never got an engagement ring but i knew he was serious cos he told me his intention from the first day we met and we got married exactly 265days after we met.....so follow ur heart gal
My dear i am presently in dat same situation with u ohh, anytime i ask he tells me if d ring s all dat matters or d marriage itself, am scared oh, my introduction s 2 saturdays frm now. Abeg LIR pls advice abeg
mehn my dear u are not alone...hahaha! Same happened to my friend the in London. Her fiance no propose..no ring. He just went ahead and did IKU AKA (Introduction). A
And the embarassing thing then was anytime we the ladies go out, my friend starts blabbing that she's engaged and planning a wedding...then the people she's blabbing to would ask to see her ring all excited..then my friend go yarn one stupid excuse like Uhmm..she's getting it re-sized! LOL!
I dunno why men do that...I guess they figure if u guys are working towards marriage why does he have to ask u again and spend more money. I don dey sing and hint am to my bobo now..even tho we are working towards marriage..I still dey yarn him proposal stories and spam him with wedding websites! Hahaha!
Yes dear, there's no big deal abt it. I ve been married for 5 years n wen I say married, I mean" super happily married". My hubby didn't propose officially, he just started askn me questions n started talking to me abt d future, introduced me to his parents n just weeks b4 our wedding, he travelled got d rings n i started wearing one of dem. Some men aren't just dat mushy. Don't mind any1 who says he loves u less. I still tease my hubby abt it but I wake up everyday blessing d day I met him.
My dear, i haven't hear of this before, he might be hiding something. nonetheless, request that he proposes to u or else, no introduction. thats d norm,if he truly loves u and wants to spend the rest of his life with u, he would be willing to make that small scarifice.
Lol! Swthart, y vnt U̶̲̥̅̊ told him bout ur fantasy? U̶̲̥̅̊ r bout 2 b married 2 someone dats making a joke bout ur ENGAGEMENT RING?, dats kinda weird to M̶̲̅ε̲̣ o! Come on,remind him how much U̶̲̥̅̊ wud love being proposed 2. Yes, I knw dere r some guys dat don't propose but ermmmm! Its absurd. So far U̶̲̥̅̊ love her enuf 2 marry den U̶̲̥̅̊ should love her enuf 2 fulfill her fantasy. #waitnformorecomments#.....& no insults
its neither here nor there. Since u said it has always been ur fantacy, speak to ur man about it...as in REALLY.The marriage is the main thing if u ask me. Proposal or not, life goes on once u r happy wit him. I can tell u for sure that there r married women who didn't get proposed to n r happy. Good luck
Of cos dear,I have 2 friends dat are happily married now dat deir husbands never gave them a proposal ring,d ring doesn't determine ur happiness.he loves u,he picked u to be his wife dats wats matters*
OYO
If ur nt happy about it..sit him down n talk about it with him sersly...tell him u want an engagement ring..cs if u start lettin him laff off ur problems nw its only gonna get worse n affect ur marriage...he's about to be ur husband so talk to him about it sersly...its ur right..I didn't say go n fite with him oo
Tosin
MEN... I FEL LIKE YOU SHOULD DEMAND A RING.. DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT ELSE THERE IS TO SAY.
I think your man should prospose to you with an engagement ring, and that shows that he is serious about you dear.
honestly there r some men with archaic mentality.an unc of mine once told me its bush men who proposes 2 their ladies.i laughed and laugh so hard.there was absolutely nothing i cld tell hm 2 change hs idea.but i personally believe its d ideal thing;i mean proposing wit a cute ring.simple!
Hi Ladies,
Is it Marriage or wedding ceremony that you are interested in?
Ladies, note that most serious guys and forwarding don't even know all these cramps that you are demanding.
Its western culture, not African
Dear Writer,
Your case remind me of the Primary School song:
Some have food but cannot eat;
Some can eat but have no food...
The previous writer was concerned about the look of her engagement ring while you're concerned about not receiving any.
As I was reading your message, the current Harp advert on TV came to my mind, which is what you want.
Is your fiance romantic? If Yes, maybe he doesn't believe in the get down on one knee and propose thingy. He could be a modern guy with an old school mentality.
If No, then accept him that way or you could still try to make him realise that the proposal with ring thing has always been your dream that you've witnessed it happen to your friends and loved ones and would also love to experience the proposal feelings and emotions.
If he still sees it as a joke then don't force it on him. A good man is not define by how he proposed but by the content of his character.
Zinnia
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I went through the same thing, darling, I'm guessing ur married to a muslim, Because its not in islam to have rings, its more of n westernised custom we have adopted, howvever I felt deprieved n empty without one,so I explained this to my husband and he gave me money n I went to choose one my self to be honest was the best decision, n I'm very happy I have a ring that I love, you just have to talk to your husband. Speak from your heart tell him its what symbolsing ur marriage andd its way to distinguish ur a married woman, because as a women you can't just settle in a marriage without having certain thing you won't fall for, let him know if wants to marry these the small things you require as its always Been something uv expected as a girl growing up, without seeming materialistic or money hungry, because that is a turn off
Of course dearie,u mustn't get proposed before d actaul marriage arrangement.So plz dn't b disturbed abut it alrite.Ur wedding wil hold with or without d engagement ring*winks*
Haha I know that feeling . My sis got hers a day before her introduction after we mounted pressure on her groom. He's probably. Old fashioned ,shy or still planning a surprise lmao! Tht shit weird mehn!
Lol. We get wahala for this generation o. Since when did all these things matter? I thought marriage was the main thing and by marriage I mean living with the person and bla after the wedding. I can't even begin to count how many people I know who were never proposed to. My sister please get this worry out of your mind and concentrate on what you'll do to make your marriage work. You're just sweating over the wrong matter. As for the babe who no like her ring, I can only laugh so hard. How many of our mothers even remember to wear their fancy rings these days? Lmao! As long as you love him and he makes you happy, better stay happy.
i dont believe you , so did his eople just wake up one morning and decided to go see your people for introduction? the moment he told you he wants to marry you(with or without ring)and that his people will be coming to see your people thats proposal.
of course there are many people without proposals or engagement rings. Is it abusrd? YES!Does it make him love you less, or make him less of a man? NO! It just depends on the man's nature and how romantic he is.
*absurd*
Im happily married to d best man on earth.he dint propose neida did he gv m an engagemnt ring,nd he made a joke out of it wen i did ask him to.it ws my fantasy too buh mans ways ar not Gods ways
I got my ring on my introduction night.i have been marriage 4 eight year now.
If he didn't propose, how did you guys arrive at setting up the engagement and traditional.
Weird situation. If this is how you start this aspect of your life, you will definitely not have a say in the rest of your life. You sound like a passenger on the path of your own life.....
Good luck though. Hope it works out
Pheeeeeew!This is a 1st! Hez daring to b different.My sister just enjoy the flow and enjoy ur marriage, @ least hez up for the marriage.Some peeps aint up for proposal,ring and even marriage, they just waste d girls tym.Happy married life in Advance.
Yes o..I got married April 6th 2002..no proposal ...no engagement ring...I know...but our Naija men...
Lady he prob has a surprise planned!
My now husband, proposed to me a day before the introduction, we live abroad, and it was being done at home with our parents (We're Igbo).
Many women get engaged and dont proceed to even intro and wedding. In my own culture(Igbo), introduction (iku aka) is bigger than a ring, because all the extended fam is involved. With a ring, the guy can easily propose today and we can end it tomorrow, when intro is done, he'll now have to answer to his family.
I totally understand how you feel cus that's the same thing that happened to me, but there was a little twist(suprise to it) and i hope it's the same in your case to say the least. Well my fiance didn't give me an egagement ring till the day of the introduction. He said he wanted everyone(especially my whole family) to see it and to him it is tradition and the way "it's suppose to be." And before the introduction i will never had guess that is what he would do cus he will ignore the topic and always made excuses. So let's pray and hope it goes down that road especially if at this point, he doesnt see why you should have an engagement ring.
I most say when i read your story, it was a flash back cus that's exactly what happened to me. But the twist behind it is i got my engagement ring on day of my intriduction. it was a surprise and my fiance did that cus he wanted my whole family to see it and to him it is how "tradition is suppose to be." he always ignored me when i brough up the topic of an engagement ring. it was so beutiful and i couldnt have picked a better ring. so lets hope and pray thats the same case here.
If u let this slide he will never buy anything for u thru out d course of ur marriage. He will continue to shirk his responsibilities towards u and ur children.
I biliv some families place this curse on there sons so there can never be aggrement b/w the husband and wife.
The bible says 1 can kill a thousand but 2 can kill 10 thousand. That is an example of the type of exponential increase a couple can achieve with the power of agreement. Men that are being 'remotely controlled' will aquire an education, work hard but will have nothing to show for it. The wife unknowingly will have to carry this burden for life.
May Gid deliver us all. Amen
I read the earlier post about not liking her engagemet ring. A beg, if you don't like it. Tell him and if he loves you, he'll change it because he should want to make you happy..... On to this post.
My dear, I got married without an engagement ring. Granted it was just a court wedding. We got "affordable" rings for that. We just had our "wedding" 1 year later and did not get my engagement ring till like a month before. Bottom line, he's going to marry you se? So no wahala na. As a matter of fact, I picked out my own ring because I was not going to chance not liking it. So my advice to you is not to sweat it BUT make sure he still gets you an engagement ring because you DESERVE it. And dont let your friends/family harrass you about the ring either. He may be saving for one like my hubby was doing. Just make sure you get one. Also let him know how important it is to you cause you know men...they can be very clueless.
U re nt getting married 2 d ring, u re getting married 2 d man so it doesn't mata if dere is a ring or not in as much u guys luv each other.
Wear engagement ring till u get to the foot of Jesus, or get married without an engagement ring.... Pick one? Beta get married and retire in ur husbands house. In these days of wicked men, dat will giv a girl engagement ring, jst to spoil her market for other men, meanwhile dey will not agree to remove the girl frm the shelf. 4yrs she is still wearing the engagement ring
But YOU and this are daft. How does wedding come with no request. Perhaps you r heavy with the sin residing in your tummy
this is not america.
this is nigeria
People get rings and proposal and never get to the altar. I think u should relax. You are the chosen one that is why his family is coming to meet yours . You will get a ring in the front of family and friends , that is the real thing. Do not go and start unnecessary quarrel that will destroy the joy that is coming your way. A word is enough for the wise.
THE GUEST:
excuse me, please i have a question ----> (-_-)/
PLEASE explain to me how u r getting married when he did not propose to u...like how did he tell u u were getting married ....did u guys just sit n discuss?
I need to knw this. absurd sturvs.
WHAT SORT OF GUY DOES NOT PROPOSE?!!
P.s tht guy just used style to save money in his pocket, biko be careful oh. Thanks.
lol. You are just worrying about a proposal and an engagement ring a couple of days before your introduction?? And this became a problem after reading a post from another lady who didn't like her engagement ring. OMG!! How old are you? I'll really like to know. OMG!! lol. You can't make a decision all by yourself?? What's going to happen after you get married? You're going to see your friend's husband buy her wife a car..., now you going to go home and cause wahala for ur husband. Frank, you this useless husband, buy me a car cuz Ngozi's husband just bought her a car!
I agree with you that a man should propose and offer an engagement ring to the woman he wishes to marry. But what makes ur own situation just terrible for you as a mature person is the fact that you were all fine and okay with you not having an engagement ring and not having been proposed to, until you read an anonymous post about someone else. This is really terrible because it shows you're not an independent person with her own mind and you are easily affected by your surroundings! Who the hell wants to marry a woman like that for this Lagos here, with a lot of opportunities for others to decide for you how to live ur life and manage your marriage.
You shouldn't do something just because other people have done it, or just because other people are doing it. You don't take crap just because others took it. You don't settle for less just because other people settled for less. What if a lot of married ladies out there got married without an engagement ring?? Then what? You can then feel okay with it? You let society decide for you what to do with your life? This is why I want to know how old you are! A fool at 40 is a fool forever! Just like Naija is a fool forever! lol.
And why do people go on blogs to seek marital advice from anonymous people? Seeking advice from total strangers who you can't even see. You have no idea who these people advising you are.
But anyways, here you go: tell your fiance you want him to propose to you and give you a ring before any introduction. And if he says he's not going to that, then tell you're not going to marry him. Or better yet, wait until you read another similar post and do exactly the same thing as the poster.
Nne are you getting married to an igbo man? Na wetin my husband do, after the intro and trad wedding when him don sure say we don marry that's when flew to new york for a short holiday and do some shoping for the white wedding then he bought and engagment ring and proposed properly. Very silly man
Sorry love :( It's not meant to be.
Oh dear!!!!
This is not the 1900s.
First TALK about it and let him know that its been a dream of yours to be treated like a Queen, certainly within your means, and even if its 500 naira or 50k ring its the thought and symbol that matters. You are not reinventing marriage you just want to feel special like every other woman because you are truly SPECIAL.
If he cannot see reason then dump him otherwise you will FOREVER, regret and resent him and the sham marriage. This is 2012.
Do not let any man make you feel less.
My questions to you are these;
what is the age difference?
Who is more financially stable amongst the 2 of you?
Is he being forced or under pressure to marry you?
Do you know if he is emotionally damaged?
Are you pregnant for him?
Is he affectionate to you or does he treat you specially or as a commoner? (I have not asked if he loves you)
Do u 2 have any formal education? In fact okada boys, traders and hawkers give rings.
My dear start like u mean to finish otherwise you will be a fool for one-sided love.
If it is a joke on his part do not be his object of ridicules.
If it is a form of control then dump his ass because you will forever be his doormat and fool.
What's will be next? He may say take public transport and not drive?
The writing may just be on the wall. If it is, then RUN!!!.
Someday some man will give you a symbol of his love and make you his queen.
And if you never marry better for you than being in a bondage of marriage.
Do not let any man make you feel less.
Dr. Chinwe
♍Ɣ friend,engagement is not our culture it is t̶̲̥̅̊o̲̣̥я̲̣̣̥ the western people. The introduction of both families is the engagement party. A̶̲̥̅♏ a married woman with a lovely girl and ♍Ɣ marriage is the best ΒU̶̲̥̅̊ђ U̶̲̥̅̊ know ? was not engaged b4 ♍Ɣ wedding.so dear be wise and work towards the introduction cerimony. Don't let our Nigerians girls fool Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ cos most girls †̥D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ buy engagement rings by their self.
May be He is waiting to suprise u with one just before ur intro.fingers crossed***
I got married 7 years ago. No proposal, no ring. I am not even sure I can tell I know how we graduated from boyfriend/ girlfriend to fiance/ fiancée. I did feel the way you feel right now for a while but I soon got over it and focused on the marriage. We are both very happy and still very in love with each other. I would marry him again , ring or no ring.
My dear, Its not absurd.my marriage will be 6yrs in November and my husband did not give me a ring before the wedding,and I can boldly tell you I did not regret marrying him.its not all men that does te proposal thing not because they don't value you or cherish U̶̲̥̅̊ or being old school,but because its not dir own way of doing things.Either he proposes or not you both have agreed to live together for the rest of ur lives, to me the proposal doesn't change anything,some av bin proposed to for years and yet they r not yet married.please go ahead with your wedding plans and drop your childhood fantasies,this is your real world ahead of you.wish you all the best
hmmm this sounds like my story. I got married in June, had no engagement ring or any proposal but it all came during the engagement ceremony and I had the best time of my life. I love fairy tales and the whole works e.g being proposed to and all that. at the end of the day, its the love that sustains both of u and not the stories your able to share. Be patient, I am sure he is not stupid. He has probably bought your ring and he is just waiting for the right moment. I dont know why some guys choose to just go along with the whole wedding plans etc without a formal proposal. it appears to be more common than i had imagined too. i was so worried but my friends and family held me down and i am still happy. Good luck. cheers.
Switi it depends on the kind of man ur marrying..it depends if he's our father's age or frm deir generation, he wnt bliv in d engagement thingy cos dey weren't into it..he's probably an urhobo man..nt the new generation very enlightened/romantic one o..hehe if he is, yu shuld be lucky he's even payin and goin tru d rites cos dey usu dnt like to do dat..
If its somethin u really want, I guess yu shuld sit him down and have a heart to heart talk with him bout it..
Don't worry abt as long as u know he is serious abt marrying u and will honour his vows.
Got married to a weathly guy in the public eye and there was no proposal or ring.
I didn't even have a wedding band.
I got both my rings some months after the wedding.
If after u get married he still isn't talking about a ring. Abeg collect the money from him go to Dubai and buy it urself.
Simplez!
I understand how u feel dear so just to let u know that there r ladies out there who got married without been proposed to or even getting an engagement ring. I am one of those ladies and it doesn't change anything. What's really important is that you go ahead and enjoy a very happy and healthy matrimony. There is nothing absurd about it... so cheer up, plan and look forward to your big day
Am.happily married. was not proposed to and didn't have any engagement ring but am.not bothered about it. my husband still teases me abt it.
what matters is the love and ur happiness. d ring and all d proposal razzmattaz does not count.
What's there in having the ring before the engagement? i personally dont want a ring before my traditional marriage, why? cos the guy will have to buy another ring....i refuse to wear one ring after he proposes and then remove that ring and place it as if its new on the bible for the traditional marriage(#personal opinion...i want my ring fresh off the box not fresh off my hands). moreover, is it the ring that'll make your marriage?or make u more committed to him? and excuse me....didnt u agree to the date set in November? why are you now fussing over a proposal?u for tell am say make he propose before una pick date na.this is a trivial matter that does not evn need to be discussed outside. worry about ur life with him, ur marriage and your future..not about material things like rings and definitely not about the proposal...there are better things to worry about. All the best!
if the idea of geting maried is coming 4rm him den its ok.the journey ahead should be ur cmcern.
How did u start d wedding plans without a proposal? This seems to me like a fluke! Seems to me like u are planning to marry someone who never asked for ur hand in marriage... Maybe there's more to this story
Dnt worry girl- ur free 2 dream in lyf, dreams so long as they r not in anyway harmful are gud especially wen dey are realistic n u hav a rational way of making it happen. My advise 2 u is 2 tell him in a serious but respectful way abt how u always 2 hav a ring n a proper proposal n how much it wud mean 2 u if he does dat. Make him undastand dat u dnt love him any lesser but, he wud b making ur once in a lyftym dream come tru.
Hmmm! Hw can u fix introduction date without hearing him say 'I want to marry u' or "I want u wake up wit u by my side forever"? Even in the most casual way?
Anyway,my husband proposed to me on our ist date. No ring bt he meant it. 2 and half years later and 2wks to my wedding,I got d engagement ring. My dear,not all fantasies come true. Some do and then disappear.( Remember kim's wedding)Bt I think he must hav told u somehw he wants to marry. Unless it is arrangee btw both parents or u were bethrothed to him frm chidhood. Seriously!
My dearif you are sure this is the man you want to marry don't get to upset, maybe he isn't the enlightened type. To be honest aloof Nigerian men don't really propose ( don't mind all the stories u hear) . If you want a ring then collect money from him and buy one yourself..shikena!
No big deal. My man didn't propose to me either and we're 2yrs married. I know it's rather unromantic (I still give him grief for not proposing) but hey, so long as you love him :)
Usually, I don't comment, but cos I was 1ce in ur Situation, I will. To start With, its not really a good thing not to be Proposed to b4 marriage or even introduction for that matter, but as it is now, since u guys are making marriage plans Already, he may not do it again, and that's a phase of ur life u will miss for life, getting married without being proposed to is like having a child outside wedlock, My husband never proposed to me, everthing happened really fast and up till date I think he sees me as d 1 who rushed him, and honestly I never did, I was just playing along, and anytime I now read or hear about pple being proposed to I feel useless and cheap. Proposal is d first stage b4 being intoducing him as ur fiance to ur parents. As it is now, since d day is fixed, I won't tell u not to continue, if u guys are close and friends, maybe u should just enjoy ur day and go ahead. But I bet, it will hurt u for life.have a nice life.
Nne men are in short supply ooo.with or without d ring just open ur doors wen he comes wit his pple for d intro.u can as well buy one wen u go to shop for ur wedding rings.tinz don't always happen d way we plan it.so girl snap out from dat fantasy of urs
I feel u dear.pple are difrent.its nt all men dat propose.sm jst go ahead wit weddn plans.he wil surely get d engagment ring along wit d weddn ring.am sure at sm point yle courting he must hv proposd stylishly.mine proposd witout a ring bt during d trad wedn he gav me d engagement ring.if ur man is Godfearing,loving,caring abeg relax
No b all men sabi do all dese dramatic abi na fairytale proposals..
It happened to me...17 years ago!
I felt so bad for so long, then i learnt to live with it.
It is not right, and i know how you feel...
Sorry...
U don't ve to worry ur head aboUt any proposal or ring.look forward to spending blissful moment with this wonderful man u re getting married to in november.if u really want to show off,go buy yourself a ring.
for you to agree to whatever arrangement or the introduction makes u desperate !! now why wont he propose to you? that is how disrespect n see finish starts.BETTER WARN HIM OR YOU CANCEL THE WHOLE THING!
Dt at all is nt a problem.wht matters most is d luv.
My dear its not strange. I am married with a wonderful son and the best man i can ever dream of but my husband no propose ooo.i didnt have the joy of experiencing all the kneeling down and putting a ring and all the fantasies but i am happily married thats what counts really. Its not about the proposal its about the joy of your marriage. when people ask me how he proposed i just laugh cos there is nothing to say. We just picked a date and VOILa here i am. Sean
same as me
My dear,I am having the best marriage one can dream of. I still can't remember how it happened but my husband never proposed to me nor did I get a ring. D ring no matter ooo,na compatibility,love and trust be d koko.
its not unusual, i was in d same situation. but after introduction i got my engagemnt ring and a proper/funny proposal
Babe,u knw wt u wnt! D truth z dt its possible 2 get married without engagement but u may live unappreciated in such union since u have a childhood fantasy which still bothers you,d Qs is....which is more important 2 u,Engagement b4 marriage or Marriage without Engagement! Place ur priorities right so u dnt live with regrets......just saying!
I ve bn married for five years wth a lovely son & we re both in love wth eachother till date..i was never proposed too then & never got an engagement ring bf my wedding day.so not bn proposed too or engagement ring is not an issue @ all.al dat matters is u re getting married to ur man soon & u ll get al d rings on d D day ok..some men doesnt believe in d oyinbos culture kneeling down & asking will u marry me?wen already u don meet al his family member finish.abeg enjoy ur day on sat & look forward to nov ok..wish u a blissful marriage...mmwah
when i read comments like this .. I ask my self is something wrong with the poster.. You are asking linda ikeji who is not married or who has never being proposed to not to talk of engage in a serious relationship to help you out?.. Haba babe go meet your pastor or whoever is you spiritual head for advice and not LIBers because they will never know what it is like being in your shoes
Babe,u knw wt u wnt! D truth z dt its possible 2 get married without engagement but u may live unappreciated in such union since u have a childhood fantasy which still bothers you,d Qs is....which is more important 2 u,Engagement b4 marriage or Marriage without Engagement! Place ur priorities right so u dnt live with regrets......just saying!
No engagement ring how?infact the whole story sounds like children within the ages of 2,3-5yrs discussing,do u two joke so much that you have to meet ur parents without engaging you?or abi he thinks we are still in the 40tys/50tys.well,guys are full of surprises,wait and see the surprise nne.but as for me,if I don't get that ring months b4 the date of my wedding,I no de show u road sef to whr my papa and mama de live
I'm getting married in dec n iont have a ring Bcos we both agreed I shouldn't wear a ring so as to catch some 'enemies' by surprise. Soooooo yes I'm getting married without an eng ring.he didn't propose too cos I already told me he's dating me for marriage. So he jes asked me if it'd b ok to do our intro when next I came around (that was 5mths back and I was out of Lagos) n I said twas ok. Soooo he didn't directly propose on one knee...if you love him girl, there's nothing absurd here o
If he likes u enuf to want to get married 2 u, den i tink u shld relax & don't boda urself bout d whole engagement ring stuf. W@ counts is w@ u both feel 4 each oda. Tho it has been ur fantasy frm childhood, bt we don't alwasy get w@ we want in life u knw? So relax and be euphoric jare.... Infact get frenzy. Gd luck... *Big smile*
:) :) Sweerie ! Relax . In as much as things are supposed to be done the right way for courtesy sake, your getting married to the man of yur heart.. Let go fantasy and face yur own reality cause its yurs. You have been with him for a very long time cause that's usually the case and He believes you know him more than anybody to know he loves you.... :) Congrats once again ...
My dear, i also dreamed of it but i never got one and yet am about to wed. But if u wld like it, why not let him give u d engagement ring at ur introduction ceremony. After all, dats wat introduction is all about.
my dear many women were not proposed to, some even went as far as buying the rings themselves claiming their hubby bought it for them.you and l know that most Nigerian Men are not romantic at all so if you like him, just take him the way you see him and still talk to him about it jokingly, who knows he might just change.Carry on with your wedding preparations and Good luck
do you want a wedding or a ring? berra be wise dear, there's a reason for every treason... face reality and dump fantasy.. You're gonna get a wedding ring on ur wedding day.
My dear, i also dreamed of it but i never got one and yet am about to wed. But if u wld like it, why not let him give u d engagement ring at ur introduction ceremony. After all, dats wat introduction is all about.
My friend too wasn't given a ring.
you must know that most Nigerian men are not romantic
Some men are not romantic and such things dont matter to them. I am a very romantic person but my husband is the complete opposite. I wasnt proposed to either and we've been married for over 8yrs nw but my husband adores me and i think thats the most important thing. In life you dont always get what you want. So if he loves u in all d right ways, go for it.
Yes dey are loads of them, d guy just tells u he wants 2 meet ur peeps and u guys haff an introduction, no form of proposal
Dear LIB reader, trouble not yourself, he might just be waiting until d day of your introduction to do it. But my husband didn't propose to me ,even when we started making arrangements for introduction I said he has not asked me to marry him; he said from the begining he came with the intention of marrying me and refered to me as his wife tobe to his friends and family and eventually we got married; so maybe that his own way. talk with him, and share ur dreams, he might surprise you, but d important thing is that you know he is serious and you are getting married.
you must know that most Nigerian men are not romantic.
Na wa oh. But how den did both of u fix a date without u been proposed to? Abi he told u verbally? T's a natural thing to get propsed to 1st na b4 D needful. Plz no mata hw many tyms stress ur point oh. Abi him no fit afford ring ni?
you must know that most Nigerian men are not romantic.
you must know that most Nigerian men are not romantic.
i didnt get a proposal ring before i got married.from the first time i met my hussband he told his intentions is to marry me and not to keep me as a girlfriend.proposal ring or no proposal ring what matters is the peace and joy u have in ur marriage.
My dear it is not by ring oooo.....wat matters is does he truly loves u?
My dear go on wit ur wedding,engagement ring or no engagement ring u wll still end up in d altar dat d main tin.
sweetheart ur are lucky to even be gettn married some pple no get bf talkless of fiance so focus on ur wedding preparation afterall u will get a ring on ur wedding day.
You are already his... I don't think there's still a need for proposal because everything about you both in and out, he knows that's why he feels reluctant taking any special path to marrying you. I'm glad that he is ready to take you as his wife. Advice for spinsters: no matter how close you and your man are, always try to keep respectful and sincere pace from him from time to time, also try to preserve some precious things within your capacity from him...this wil make him see your hand worth begging for, your finger worth wearing an engagement ring, and more special moments worth fulfilling...
Meanwhile congrats in advance. It doesn't matter at all because A̶̲̥̅♏ a living testimony, my husband didn't propose not to talk of giving ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ ring but today we have putting on six years together to the glory of God. So don't worry u are blessed....congrats.
Of course! Loads of them got married without an engagement ring! Does it really matter? Being together in love is d koko! not ring or whatsoever. Some of our men don't count stuffs like dat n some do! Diff strokes for diff pple. Go girl n have a fantastic wedding.
there are some women without engagement rings and even without wedding bands so it happens my dear.can he afford it?becos a man mite want to buy u quality and may nt b able to afford it,if he can then i wonder y he wnt.
Wow! Dat's sooo weird!!! How did you guyz get to the introduction and wedding date?
Lol. Babe, how did you allow the introduction to get to Saturday without a ring? It seems you don't have a say in the marriage. Abeg, threaten the guy to give you a ring, else you ain't marrying him.
Your desires may not be God's desires for you. What really matters is the marriage and if thats what your spouse wants, then i see no trouble in it. Good luck
did my introduction in May this year and i would be getting married before the end of this year, although no date yet but i still do not have an engagement ring and nothing like "will you marry me?"but we are cool and we love each other very much so i don't think its an issue at all.
African men... i tire. There is nothing bad about it, when my hubby was going to propose he cried and it was funny. So some men can"t handle the emotions it will bring. Check it out, our many fathers in those told their children they loved them, hugged them. do mushi mushi things with their kids. Arfican men are very stiff. Can't hold hands publicly, can't display emotions- it is seen as a sign of weakness.
Dis remind me d dat my hubby proposed to me wit a ring in sacred holy place of God(church) it was wonderful.my sis it doesnt matter.d most imp.tin is dt he luvs u.
I want you to know its not all about d proposal or engagement ring but the guy's sincerity. We have so many pple who got expensive rings and beautiful proposals who are no longer together cos they cannot stand or tolerate themselves. Search your heart and ask yourself "is this what I want and will I be happy in this relationship". For as long as u remain best of friends and great lovers every other thing will fall in place. But if u feel otherwise then the choice is your to move on. I wish u the best. Take care
Well all the proposing bruhaha maybe Ą̸̸̨͡ sweet gesture nd romantic bt п̥̥̲̣̣̣̥ my own opinion I think u shud be bodad wit if his Τ̲̅ђe man 4 u, if he will make u hapi 4 Τ̲̅ђe rest of Ʊȑ lyf. Wnt u prefer happiness ova proposal any day. If he can make u Τ̲̅ђe happiest lady alive I think u shud go 4 it nd ignore Τ̲̅ђe whole fantasy he proposed 2 u Τ̲̅ђe day he 1st said "I L♥√ε̲̣̣̣ u"
na wa oooo! maybe he'll still give you the ring, cos i am trying so hard to imagine a wedding without the rings......
Be patient babe!
nkaytchee.blogspot.com
Sweetie, is it about a hundred million euro engagement ring or about a hapi home, with yur hubby loving u like a lilly on a daily basis?
Pls don't get carried away with ds fantasy. A man that can agree to have an introduction and fix a wedding date for November has his mind made up.
Yea it's our dream 2 flunt our engagement rings but I was not given one, I was not proposed to.... I have d very best home in d world.
Yur fiance might be like my hubby who does not believe in stuffs like that and if u do not carry him along 4rm d initial stage of the relationship, he won't see anything wrong in not giving u an engagement ring or proposing to u.
Yes I did my trad wedding without an engagement ring and now dat I've come 2 think of it he didn't propose. We were just talking on d phone about defining our relationship then he said he wud cum n do d rite thing
Oh dear, an engagement ring isn't a marriage ring. Some men dnt Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ the need for an engagement ring cos they feel confident d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ already have U̶̲̥̅̊, which is bad. But believe U̶̲̥̅ talk †̥ him very seriosly about it, afta talkin seriosly †̥ him about it, if he still jokes about it. FLEE FROM HIM. Cos hez nt a serious husband.
Babe don't look out 4 a perfect marriage proposal,look out 4 a perfect marriage. don't be bothered too much bout d ring until ur white wedding. It doesn't mean he doesn't love u
Dear friend, what is special about engagement ring? am sure before the two you could fix this saturday for your introduction, he must have proposed to you either directly or indirectly. is not that this guy asked you to move to his house without meeting your family formally.....do you know how many ladies are out there looking for a man, to hide under his umbrella( legally or illegally). so, erase the "engagement ring-nonsense" from your mind and go get yoursef married to your man.
Lol, by the grace of God I've been married for 4 years and I still joke about not being proposed to and my husband laughs about it. It dosen't matter, as long as he loves u. Haven't u seen ladies with expensive diamond engagement rings yet the relationship did not last. God is the foundation that solidifies a union, and not engagement ring or proposition. Congrats my dear!
sit down there n continue waiting for ring o....vain girl!.....moving on Linda
Babe if you are sure he trully wants to spend his life with you then this really isnt an issue. My hubby never proposed to me even after 7 yrs of dating buh we got officially introduced 9 months before our wedding. From the monent we met, he knew he was going to spend d rest of his life with me, likewise me. Best thing is we went shopping for our bands and my engagement ring bou a month before the wedding. However, i choose not to wear it until the traditional ceremony after he had been tru all the 'dobaleing' :-). My today we have been happily married 2yrs blessed by a sonnand the love keeps getting even stronger sef. So my dear, never sweat the small stuff. Who knows, you might even still get ur ring before the wedding. I know people who have been intoduced before getting a ring. You might get a chance to chose the EXACT ring of your dreams, i bet the girl with d ugly ass ring will die to be in this position.....
I believe he had already proposed to you and you have given him your answer indirectly, since both of you had already agreed on a date for introduction and the wedding proper.
I have been married for 11years now, and I never receive engagement ring, but all I know is I am loved by my husband and treated like an egg, to me that is all I need in a marriage.
Because of movies n western influence all around us,we tend to glamorise everything. Its not bad to be proposed to bt not all guys attach so much importance to it. The most important thing is how he treats u and if he respects u. Forget all those lovey dovey stuff. Guys r into respect more than love. I was engaged and got the best proposal most girls can ever dream of, bt I wasn't treated right. I am grateful daily that I bailed out n I have someone better. So ask urself babe; DOES HE TREAT U RIGHT?DOES HE DISRESPECT YOU?
Linda!.... U ddnt post last nyt's comments..... If U catch u ehn!
pls linda post my comment ..oooo my dear young lady, ring makes no meaning provided u ar happy with d union. were a ring is highly necessary is on ur wedding day. as am talking 2 u now, my first wine carrier has been done by my fience nd my traditional marriage is coming up by november nd yet he has not given me a ring nd we ar both madly in luv with each other. my dear, dont alow ur priorities 2 rub u off ur jewel... ook
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