Hi Linda, my name is Titi, this is my story and i would like you to publish it so i can get advice. I am a 19 year old student currently studying law in one of the top universities in the United kingdom. Although 19 i look like im in my 20's. My friends describe me as 'an extremely nice generous person' I come from a well to do family and i have never lacked anything in life. Im writing this in tears because im ashamed of myself but at the same time cant stop it.
Right from a very young age i was molested by several men and some of these men i still see till today and some i even have to call 'uncle'. When people ask me if im a virgin i dont know what answer to give them say no im not a virgin i lost my virginity when i was 5 or i truly lost my virginity right when i was 16 because i honestly dont know the answer to that question myself.
Right from age 13 i started dating older men find it very difficult to date guys my age. When i do find guys my age something always goes wrong and i always end up messing up and pushing them away. My friends make fun of the fact that i date only older guys but they dont know that it hurts me that i do date older guys. they dont know just how old these guys are because i even lie to them about it. I have to keep secrets and lie to my best friends, my family because im not proud of who I am.
My life makes me cry and sad because i know i smile everyday but im dying slowly inside. i have 3 major problems. My friends boyfriend seem to always want to get with me and it makes me sad because im like why do the try this with me is it the way i carry myself or portray myself. Second problem is i find it very difficult to say no to men and it makes me wonder if its related to the harassment i have suffered in the past. yes im only 19 but i have had sex with at least 20 different men and its not that i do it because i get pleasure from it because i actually hate sex.
Thirdly i am a hypocrite because i abuse girls when im talking with my friends of doing the exact same thing i do. I accuse them and abuse them of sleeping with men old enough to be their fathers for money and material things. i try to convince myself that im not with these men because of material things or anything but because i genuinely like them as i dont ever ask these men for money or any thing. I am currently dating a 48year old man who i honestly and genuinely love not because of money or anything even though he is a billionaire. I decided to write this because on my train back to birmingham from spending the week with him in london. it hit me that although I honestly love him he probably doesn't care about me at all and is only with me because of sex and it made me wake up and ask my self questions. I have no reason to be with him because sex is not amazing with him, i dont ask him for money or things as im not a materialistic person at all. So why do i do it? Do i look at these men as my father as my father is dead?
I am honestly and genuinely scared that im never going to find true love or go for a guy my age or that if i eventually do fall in love with a guy my age my past will catch up with me. This deeply worries me as im scared that i'll drag my family's name in the mud as i love my family so much and would never do anything to hurt them. I have tried my best to stop this. Please help me .
I know this story is not well written as i rushed to do it but please publish it.
276 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 276 of 276I suggest you get this book - Beauty for Ashes by Joyce Meyer. Since you are in the UK it'll be easy for you to buy it from Joyce Meyer's website - http://www.joycemeyer.org/ProductDetail.aspx?id=000113.
Titi, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation though I'm a guy because I am in a similar situation now. when I was 20, I slept with a 3 year old girl and since then, I've not been able to stop sleeping with little girls.My biggest problem now is that anytime I try to have a normal relationship with a lady, I can't sleep with her. I am engaged now but I told her that there will be no sex till after the wedding but I am scared that I may not be able to perform. It is very painful and I don't know what to do now.I want to lead a normal life. What is the way forward?
Titi please don't go to Mountain of Fire o! All they know is to shout "die, die, die" thinking that they are casting out demons. Hardly they preach anything about the love of God and neighbor.
Linda is there anyway you can contact me with this young lady. I live in London and would love to help her through this. I mentor youths and have worked with ladies from different backgrounds that have suffered rape and sexual abuse from family members.
Linda Ikeji! Wisdom is profitable to direct o. I think you should exercise more discretion in choosing which comments to publish. If someone is asking for advice, you should only publish comments advising. Is that so hard or you just like to create buzz sha?
You do not have to post this comment o. But I hope you really do something about it.
People hide behind the cloak of anonymity to be hateful and spiteful and it's disgusting.
Very Transparent Post. My dear, I am happy that you have tried and tried and nothing positive came out. The truth is no amount of your self effort would bring results. You have probably come to the end of yourself and now it seems like you have lost it all, but the truth is that your best years are ahead of you. Read the story of the Adulterous woman- She committed adultery and according to the Law, she was supposed to be stoned and killed. But Jesus asked a simple question, "He without sin should cast the first stone". The only person without sin there was JESUS and he did nothing. INstead He told her that He doesnt Condemn her!.Thats Good news. Jesus has never condemned you once for any of your past. He has never been mad at you for anything you have ever done because You were His joy on the cross. You dont need to see a therapist, You only need to receive Gods love for you that burns deep into every wound that you have. When you cry, He cries with you and has never stopped loving you.
I asked God to give me a word for you and here is what He showed me : I see a picture of Jesus compiling all of your past(every molestation and pain) and putting them in something that looks like a photo album. And then He bring out a fresh album and then He starts replacing them with who he has really called you to be. Later in life when he presents the 2 albums to you, you would so cherish every aspect of it because out of your lowest point, God still loved you. I even see you as a leader helping orphans and God really giving you a heart for dis children. I feel like you have lost hope in church and the people around you but thats fine; Jesus hasnt lost hope in you. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH - YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH - YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!
Sweet heart, you're a beautiful person inside and out. The reason people gravitate towards those with beauty is because they want to possess it or diminish it. Often you get those who look at beautiful things and appreciate the beauty, but in the world we live in, it a rare and almost impossible thing not to fall pray to 'crooks' who just steal your heart and live you with nothing.
Re; the molestation when you were younger. Ït is the same issue of possessing someone, though those people may not be there physically, your mind is captured by the trauma of what was done to you, so it becomes hard for you to commit of to move on with the great things you were born to achieve.
Why does it happen to some and not others? I'll tell you from personal experience, you might be able to relate, I've asked myself the question many a times, why me...but when I look back on my life, I see the challenges I've faced and they all connect to the moment when I was violated. The reality is, you are destined for great things and these wicked people subliminally pick up on that, and use every tool in their arsenal to try to stop you from your destiny before you've even begun your journey.
Why....because they probably went through exactly the same thing, or because they feed of others pain to feel alive. Because sweetheart, they know what they do. No ignorance is an alibi.
What I have tell you is this, you need to find a way to admit this to atleast one person who is close to you, because in reality people who are abused are very capable of putting up a mask, hiding being 'hyprocrisy or perfection'. They become equipped with those abilities as survival mechanisms.
Its survival because you are going through it alone and you think you will be blamed or people will say you caused it and your world will fall apart, unfortunately your world is already apart, because you can't hold a relationship and if you do find yourself in one, its with someone who can't love you.
About the relationship difficulties; basically here's a case of denial, you tell yourself you are over what happened because it was a while ago, but you can't get over your innocence being taken or the fact that you are living what from your perspective, seems a lie. So when you fall for someone, and you find they begin to reciprocate, you run back because you know if its 'real Love' you will have confront some demons before it can become anything worthwhile.
As it happens its you that suffers because you can't let them get close for fear that they might leave you if you relinquish your trust, so the root of this is fear and trust. If you are afraid of love and unable to trust as a outcome of what you faced, then it is debilitating. You have to be aware of these two things.
Second advice allow yourself to be vulnerable, after you speak to someone close about what you faced, you might find that by allowing yourself to be exposed you gain confidence in letting others in also. It doesn't mean you'll have to share your darkest secrets with everyone, but you don't feel like you never can.
...tbc
Cont..
About the older men; every older man out there that dates anyone 15 years younger atleast, isn't doing it for love, especially if they are in their 40s. Even if there are promises of marriage etc, this is back to the issue of possessing someone, a trophy as it's called. What sort of man looks around at all the available women of his age and believes a 19 year old would make a perfect companion? Would he approve if it were his daughter...
Whilst reading what you wrote, I also got the impression that he might be a white man, in which case there will be no doubt that it is a case of toying with you.
Because they say all the right things doesn't mean its true, at a certain age, men perfect the act of lying to get what they want. You have to be very careful.
Prognosis, you need men in your life for protection, you had a close relationship with your father but something went wrong and now you look forward figures to fill the void, you lack trust and you live in fear and shame.
Solution, communicate to someone close, it doesn't matter if they judge you, but tell someone, it will liberate you. The father figure issue if not resolved, will reinforce the problems you face.
The reason you faced what you did is because you are destined for great things and its an attempt to derail you from that destiny, realise this and use it as a means of strength.
I am a man, and I was abused at an older age than you by someone, I am now in my late 20s and I kept my ordeal a secret for over a decade, it messed up all my relationships, myself confidence and self worth, but one thing I realise is that if I had faced up to it and spoken to someone, I would not have been as affected as I was. Like you, I slept around not because I liked it, but in a weird way I believed it was the only way I could be connected emotionally (that sex meant I was loved) I also ran away from good relationships because I felt I was not worth it, and I still get pro positioned and I never know why, but the reality is this, I know there is something greater in me, and I owe it to myself not to let some pervert take away my life and existence.
So be encouraged and be the beautiful strong woman you are meant to be. This is brave of you to share this, and you are not alone. And finally not all men are bad. But importantly not every uncle or man is a friend.
I send you love. X you are a victim and anyone who abuses you or makes you feel worse for what you've gone through is obviously sympathetic to the culprits and they will reap what they sow.
Forget the people who judge you and this is no issue for church.
when i read dis story i tot to myself....there are two of us in dis and we don't know aw many others are struggling with this. although i dont sleep around.....just molested.....i want you to know that in everything you do there is always a second chance to make things right but u av to take that very bold step and tell urself "i am a woman and i would stand for what is right. no one would take advantage of me nemore"......nd after making dis decision u will need not only yourself to stay focus but God. i need you to ask for forgiveness and stay focused. there are so many implications of all dis acts but u can get cleansed from it if only u believe that u are different now and that u are new person compared to before. so wen guys call asking for u to do things u hate to do.....tell urself dat u are above sin and u are focused and dat ur body is where God lives so u will not attempt to bring the devil in. no one might care about u but one person does and nothing on earth can seperate u from His love and that is God.
Hi titi
First of all i applaud you for speaking up about this, you're very brave.
secondly, pls ignore the idiots on here calling you all sorts of names, nigerians are plain stupid.
thirdly, like everyone says you should see a therapist, i see one & im not crazy, never been molested but i hv the worst family in the world. And despite what people say therapy does work.
And, lastly i will be praying for you because this happens alot in nigeria but no one talks about it. Its like beating your wife to death & molesting young kids is the new trend in our God forsaken country. If u ever wana talk email me at derego_agbani@yahoo.com.. Always remember only God can judge you. love you always
ogo
hi titi,
pple av made comments to condemn u, some av even called u names, also, others av encouraged u by making useful suggestions and advice. thats d way the world is...lawayz two sides to everythin. do not hate urself, but tell urself, 'i hate wot d kind of life i av been living, and not only because i hate it, but also because God hates it'. irrespective of wot pple av said(positive or negative), it is u who wud make d decision either to continue or stop. u can do this alone, give ur life sincerely to God, pray for His assistance, and u wud see urself pulling thru. so dat wen u smile, it will b one frm deep within. God Bless u dear.
babe dat one no dey oooo....it is said that even if u r being attacked spiritually, u have some interest too or u have love for sex .. jus hold on strong and seek spiritual conselling, now is the time because now that u r olobo fan ice, the fanice will melt and u will become olobo table water....God dey ur back ooo.....i hope u find help but only if u told the whole truth tho.....love u....ciao
Just Pray...God will help you
To be frank lIB is not a best place to seek advise. Have gone through the comments some made sense while sum really didn't have anytin 2 say, but just knw that God is still the solution 2every problem b it demonic or not let's not 4get God's supremacy(wit God there is no impossibity). But be very careful esp ppl giving out their nos n emails most might really not have ur interest at hand.
A
my own sin pass your own. i am past worrying. i want to kill myself.
U r just a big idiot and a huge dissapointment.
Omg,seriously?? Why r u men so shallow and always feel the need to display ur stupidity. What advice did u give?? With ur many many grammatical errors. U went as far as dropping ur fone nos and fb add. More advice ko, james dada ni. U r a big idiot. Its *reveal* and not *review* dumbass. And wat the fuck does “what u need to do now is to be self denier” mean?? Jeezz!!!!
May God punish u there. U will be victimized in ur life for that comment, and trust me,u will be lost with no way out. Idiot!!
Linda your readers are the harshest and fakest ever. Titi is brave by owing up to her actions and d fact dt she was molested doesnt help matters but for the lowlife readers on ur blog to call her names is out of it. Let he who is wtout sin be d 1st to cast a stone. Sorry bunch of Hypocrites mtsheeeeeewwww
ummm, U need to make up ur mind,u r still young. change ur orientation and Pray hard Jesus help u
I weep for nigeria, i weep for nigerians. why are most of you so wicked at heart. the moment of joy you receive from bringing other people down is it worth it? yes this country frustrates everybody we blame the government. but we are all accountable also. why cant we show support for one another. is there no more sympathy and human compassion. is there no love in you anymore. why cant you ever put yourselves in another persons shoes. some say this is a fake story some say its a bore. regardless of what you think, do you not think this can help somebody out there who is going through something similar. so quick to condemn so quick to dismiss, envy, jealousy, hatred, deceit to mention a few this is the way of life for most.
help save a life today and everyday, search your heart because you have only GOD to answer to in the end. if you dont believe in GOD how would you feel if your family member or yourself are in an unfortunate circumstance.
every person here today that has rained insults on this girl, your life is not perfect and i have a message for you trials are coming your way. i hope you will be prepared, pray that you have people to encourage you and not tear you down. and these comments you have made will not hunt you in future. we fight not against flesh and blood but principalities and power. it easy to say dont let her past control her. but life is not black and white!
Dear titi,
you will get through this and GOD will use you to touch other peoples lives, you will be a helping hand and the world shall come to know you as a great person. you CAN do this and you WILL do this. i know because i have been through some horrible things in this life. i cried out to GOD for a few days I fasted, i believed and as months and years passed by my life started to change for the better. GOD does not tolerate INJUSTICE. just seek him you will see what will happen for you. please be careful who you contact on this blog, bible says trust only GOD.
Asewo ni e
You are a crackhead for saying smoke weed kmt
Your father must be a native doctor are you part of his advertising team mtchew
1st of all can we all stop judging and give her advise and if u hv got none dnt say a word.
2ndly gal u need to love urself for who u are been molested cld hurt really bad but,its happened u might need to see a psychiatrist
3rdly end the relationship with him. talk to someone while talking to God it wont be easy but hopeful u wld be fyne.
lots of people have said most of the things i would have said. but let me just add these
1. you can never gain acceptance thru having sex with people the way you are having it. the only acceptance you need is from urself. ignore everyone else's as much as you can while you try to be a better you
2. God loves you and yearns for you to come to Him. He has taken a step in meeting you, you need to play ur own part by taking ur step as well.
3. may be you should try ignore every negative comments you have read. although your case is not peculiar, many people don't really understand what you are going thru.
4. remember that it's decision, not ur past nor condition, that determines your destination
after going thru the comments.....i feel for this girl bc some comments or rather verbal abuse might push her deeper into that life. and trust me,some guys will fall victim soon because such girls wont waste time to state lashing out and dealing with men.giving themselves reason to maim or leave a mark on the guys body bc de dont deserve to live..
titi, just like someone suggested,you are the solution to your problem. take a bold 1st step by getting over it then see a therapist.
break away from those circle of friends. am pretty sure some of them are in the same fix but wont voice it.
gradually turn to God....GRADUALLY bc sometimes pips who just run to Him end up falling back bc they easily loose focus. its a gradual process.......i believe you will come thru.....ALWAYS IN MY PRAYERS DEAR....xoxo.
Sweetheart you're a victim of circumstance, don't judge yourself so harshly. Help is available for you if you truly want to stop.
Look at it this way, the man you're dating may be your future uncle/father in law.
It is so sad that stories like this come up often. You need to go for counselling/therapy.Like I said, don't be harsh on yourself, if you don't like what you're doing, make up your mind and do the needful.All the best.
I just saw this, hunnie you will get through this. Some men are just disgusting. You situation is serious because 13 out of the 20 men molested you. You agreed to have sex with 7 and you realise this is not you and what you want. GOD is calling you. It is time for justice he just needs you to call him and start to fight the battle here in the physical and the flesh. Your flesh will be restored you will be restored and whole again. Great things are coming your way. Put all your faith in GOD I know it can happen. Because I know what GOD did for me. You need patience and faith. Don't date any guys for now just be alone let GOD send you your Husband. I made a convenant with GOD maybe you can do the same and tell GOD no more men for now until he sends you your husband. Honestly from my experience GOD, JESUS and the HOLYSPIRIT is all you need. As GOD for justice, peace and a new life. And that this trauma shall leave your life.
husband
My dear, admitting u have a problem is the first step to getting it solved. I admire ur courege to have published this.
I think this might be a spiritual than physical problem and the only way out is prayers and the Word of God.
U can also talk to a physiotherapists as suggested here.
I pray God helps you.
Hey Girl, bliv me it is not easy to get over with but trust in God and you shall surely over come, alot of this is happening in naija, people are bad, sick brother inlaws, uncles, relatives will molest lil girls if not watched...no1 should say she is possessed by any spirit, she isn't, we have a lot of sick men every where, yeah even women too molest lil boys but it's more of a man thing
Just imagine you already have AIDS and the only thing that can cure u right now is closing ur legs and saying NO!!! ***winks***
Get in touch with PASTOR PRAISE FOWOWE.
HIS COLUMN is on THISDAY PAPER EVERY FRIDAY 08037269483.
GOD HELP AND BLESS YOU AMEN
Get in touch with PASTOR PRAISE FOWOWE.
HIS COLUMN is on THISDAY PAPER EVERY FRIDAY 08037269483.
GOD HELP AND BLESS YOU AMEN
aaa
All you people castigating her are stupidly ignorant and hypocrites. This girl is having a psychological problem. She is not happy, she needs advice & help. You have not experienced abuse, so shut the hell up. And 20 men at the age of 19, trust me, she is even way better than many girls around who have slept with so much more men, but will still be very hypocritical outside. Titi, cheer up, go for counselling and be prayerful and all will be well. From what I know about this life, NO ONE IS WORTHY TO JUDGE ANY OTHER PERSON!!!!
Sex is a very powerful thing, when you av it with especially rough or promiscous men, there's a very huge tendency u'll carry that person's spirit. As i read dis article, i shake my head and almost in tears, for this poor child. The first person u actually laid with probably has some "dog spirit". And then you had to continue with other men. It's a spiritual ordeal my dear, if only u'll seek wise counsel, from God-fearing people. You really need help the earlier the better,also STDs, HIV n AIDS are all real.
Hello sis Titi,don't allow whatever people says about u to discurage u of what you have done.Do you know what u need right now?JESUS!He love you more than you think and He has already wipped off your past misdeed long before you wrote this atticle.Pls give your life to JESUS and He will give you a brand new life.The bible says,if any man/woman be in CHRIST he/she is a new creature,old things are past away behold new things have begun.As far as God is concern,He has given you a new life full of hope,peace,and above all joy unspeakable.Don't allow whatever people say to discurage u at all.You are a dauther of zion,the apple of His eyes.Pls go and seek for councel from genue man of God on what to do next.Stay bless sis Titi.You can contact me through my email-yinkadp@yahoo.com
To d agbayas,d poor girl only asked for help before destroying her own life not for u to open ur stupid mouth and criticize her as if u dn't av a dirty past.....oshi.....my dear God will make a way for u jare.......just get close to him
Hi Titi,
Read Lisa Bevere's story. Hope it helps. Jesus loves you and can help you.
Titi, try and follow the advice of people who say u need God, because its a fact, if u can make this decision, with complete faith and trust, u'll definitely conquer. PLSSSSSSSSS, dont contact evry1 who leaves their email and phone numbers in the name of giving futher advise, they may be up to no good. Just use your discretion if u feel the need to contact any of them. no matter what, dont disclose ur real identity, until u feel its absolutely necessary. MAY GOD BE WITH YOU...
I wonder sometimes how old are the people commenting on LIB. Many are underaged or need to go and see the world. Open your minds and stop cursing.
Girl, you were raped at a very tender age. Why didn't you tell someoneµ. You don't trust anybody? Not even your mum? That's the key young lady, you need to open yourself up to someone, let all these congested emotions and bad memories go. This is urgent. If not your family, try a psychiatrist or psychologist or someone at your church. Find someone you can trust and TALK. That will be the first step on your road to recovery and healing. And I won't lie to you, it will be long because you've lost everything your self-respect, your dignity, your virginity. What you're doing with these men is a way to punish yourself of what happened because nobody told you that you were not at fault. Nobody comforted you then.
You wrote your dad is dead that's why you're a paternal figure. That's why you look at older men. You need to stop this. You won't succeed alone, find a therapist quick and don't give up.
If you believe a God, pray and ask for help.
@ Anon May 7, 2012 1:43 AM
WTF you know what it's called? You're a pedophile.
Go quick and find a psychiatrist.
Though I think your place is in jail if not worse but for the sake of your potential future victims I advidse you.
You better call off this your so-called engagement. This is a serious disease, how about your own female child?
Jesus-Christ I'm so schocked!
am not encouraging sleeping with every man u see..babe is about ur will, u re 19 and u av slept with 20 men..i am 30 and av slept with almost 100 guys...fortunately, i did hiv test and am negative...am also gettin marrid soon, please i beg u...dont be like me, ask God to help u.....i tried all means to abstain but God helped me...i was not abused as a child...i experienced this rubbish life between the age of 17 - 30.....
There are a whole lot of posetives from different folks on this very important and delicate issue and as always some haters who wouldnt cut the kid some slacks. This country Nigeria is full of girls like Titi, not only girls, boys too. It is a dirt that needs to be addressed openly in this country. Now that get me wrong, it happens in the U.S. too but the difference is that when the girl reports it, more often than not, the authorities get involved and the culprit in most cases gets what he deserves, But in Nigeria, everybody will shut the kid up in order to avoid family embarrassment.
Dear Titi, you are a winner already for acknowledging and appreciating your ailment. The secon phase is a lot easier. Get yourself ready to go and see a therapist. Could be a man or woman, it does not matter but go in their with a purpose. You need to let go of the emotional burden you are carrying and the best way to do it is to cry it out, and I mean go at it and crying your eyes out. Be deligent with your therapy and change your set of girl friends, get involved in a bible based church with a good repute and read the good book(bible) good. Try to be celibate for some months and enjoy time by yourself alone. God will see you through this ordeal. Good Luck and God Bless.
Ask your self if you have never committed any sin as human, we are all sinners but how we commit it is different. Yah, she has made slot of mistake that was in the past and bible made us to understand that we should not judge anybody so that we shall not be judged. Hello my friend lady, that was was past if you can put that behind you and move on, the better it's for you. Pray and be more focus on the good things you love to do rather than dwelling in your past. I will like of assist you if you don't mind..... My mail is impactwithanny@gmail.com. I will be expecting your mail, stay bless and God will continue to dwell in you but also please give your life to Christ bcos His blood cleases us off frm all sins. Stay bless and prosper IJN amen.
So Olodo kiss my foot, wetin u dey yap now????? Dem tell u to give advice u came here with your tiny winny to rap gibberish and insult mfm! U suck big time!!!!
Urs is an exception to the rule & a very disturbing situation. I say this because ladies who suffer any form of sexual abuse mostly tend to loathe sex and/or men. There are 3 reasons for your actions: 1.you want to get back at men by probably spreading disease 2.You are a nymphomaniac 3.Though you 'dont enjoy' sex, u cant explain why you do it. If [2] and particularly [3], I suggest you talk to a psychologist
BELOVED TITI, Yes u were molested at age 3, 13 etc but they are all in d past. pls do d following;
1. Pray to God for forgivenes, ask Him to cleanse u from evry sin and unrighteousness. Accept Him as your Lord and Personal Saviour.
2. Determine in your heart never to go back to your past life style.
3. Dont dwell on your past, forget the past or you pass away with d past. God does not need your past to determine your future ok.
4. Go see a seasoned counsellor, we have one in university of ibadan, he has helped alot of pple with dis kind of problem.
Its well with u, if evrybody hate you remeber that Jesus loves u and i love you too
Babes trust me ur problem is 0.0000001 percent compared to the problems all the idot talking are carrying so relax, all you need is GOd,we cant help but pray for u,u seem very intellegent. god wld see u tru.....mwahnnn luv ya
I have never left a comment on this blog before..but in this situation i just have to comment...First of all alot of you commenters r soo judgmental and fail to understand that people handle traumatic experiences differently. secondly, i find that sexual molestation seems to be a very common thing in Nigeria.. most people seem to have gone through it, however, no one seems to talk about their experiences which may honestly prevent it from happening to younger generations. Guys when you have kids talk to your children! educate them about the type of bastards that exist out there! and build close relationships with your kids that allow them to confide in you. Neways back to the issue at hand. The only advice i can give you is to talk about it preferrably with a complete stranger possibly a counselor...once you do that u will feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your chest. doing that will help you fully accept what you went through and sometimes gives a little bit of perspective. you also need to spend a lot of time doing some serious soul searching. what exactly is it you want out of life? your life has to have some meaning or purpose beyond relationships and men. Focus on yourself... It is only when you love yourself, appreciate yourself and recognize that you are worthy of love that another person can do the same. You are searching for love in all the wrong places...God loves you unconditionally and when you are ready and the time is right you will meet the right man who will love u in a way that you have never experienced...then of course the sex will be mindblowing lol
SEXUAL ABUSE IS REAL IN NIGERIA.
Most boys in Nigeria have their first sexual experience with a much younger girl. They lure with sweet words, money, love, sweets or they plain rape the girl. It's almost like males in Nigeria think it's their God-given right to sleep with any female.
Armed robbers invade a house and sleep with a 5 year old girl. Mallams lure 6 year old girls with sweet and rape them. Uncles sleep with their 8 year old niece and threaten to kill the entire family if she tells. How is it the girl's fault? What does she even understand about sex or what's in between her legs? How does she know that he won't do as threatened? When a little girl does go running to her mother, she stands the risk of not being believed. even if she believes, the mother adopts a let's sweep it under the rug mentality. Instead of healing through an outlet, the pain wells up inside the poor girl and becomes a raging beast of self-destruction.
Young boys are forced to caress their househelp’s breasts; when they start having sex at 10, they never look back. They think every girl wants sex and that NO really means YES. The aunty liked it, every woman secretly does, they just pretend.
Whether we want to believe it or not, there are long-lasting psychological effects of these things. However, the majority of Nigerians see these effects as a weakness or a flaw in the VICTIM.
It is time for us to have town hall discussions in these our country and change the public perception of sex, rape, depression etc.
oh my goodness! Anonymous May 7 1:43am is a creepy paedophile. Linda please try and have him arrested. My God save our little girls!
Titi is not the end of the world, good thing you are in the UK, there are loads of people that can help you for nothing, the best of it all is that you realise that what you are doing is wrong and its never too late to make a change, search for relationship advice, go to your local borough youth centre am sure someone will be happy to direct you to an expert that can talk to you and help you through recovery. Most of all BE PRAYERFUL!! because if you are doing something you dont like uncontrollably without any form of persuasion then its beyond ordinary, you need divine help. when you read most of the comments you can easily be discouraged but if you chose to shut your mouf after this you will be doing yourself no good at all, if you are gonna get help you must keep speaking out about it until the right person gets to hear from you. having said that, you can only replace a habit with another so i'd suggest you get a little busier with things that matters (ur books, spending time with the girls,get a job not for the money but to keep you busy, it might take ur mind off these. Am sure if you are working part time you wont have the time to spend in London with the man when you need to be at work the next morning. Ask your old men why they prefer you to women their age and possibly ask if they will approve same for their daughter ur age. If you dont like them you should be able to tell them off. set a standard for urself and run with it. best of luck
I think you are a great person and I am confident; you are different now because you realised what is wrong and consciously asked for help. Just take one step at a time, by replacing the bad habit with something productive. Most of all Pray always for God's help.. there is nothing too hard to overcome *Kisses*
Hi Titi...I understand how you feel...
I was molested when I was 4 years old....didn't think it affected me at all until when I was about 18......couldn't say no either...meanwhile I hated sex,was disgusted with men and loathed myself even more than anything.......
But at some point I couldn't take it no more, I decided that even though I couldn't change the past, I still have a chance with my future...so this is what I did...
I spoke to someone (church counsellor) that didn't judge me, turned to God for help, listened repeatedly to loads of messages, read loads of inspirational books (I recommend Tony Evans, Michael Catt and Max Lucado) and stopped hating myself.....
Today am doing really great...I thank God everyday for the chance to become a better person
Please can we stop thin bullshit and stop this cervical cancer bullshit yes HPV is one of the causes by not all cervical cancer is caused by the HPV virus. They are other factors involved. This is jus misinforming people and this could potentially prevent people who need help from speaking up.
poor child ..the best bit is that u kno u have a problem. I wish I culd offer some real help, do follow the sane advices here n talk with a therapist. For those calling u names ..ignore them, they r probably worse off. God bless u n kip u
First things first, u need to realise that you have the will power to overcome. Then you need to go to God in total surrender, it might be hard at first,but with God all things are possible. You also need a cousellor to help rehabilitate you because two heads are better than one. Nobody can help you change unless you want it. My dear, many have been down this route and have been able to overcome, look for them and don't be ashamed to seek for help, you are not the first neither will you be the last. You need to forget all other things for now, i.e about finding the right guy, and sought yourself out, seek for salvation because right now you need to feel the love of God from within and then you can know true love. please remember that you are not alone, and this is the strenght you need, to carry on and overcome, so you are able to help the next person who comes along.The worst failure is failure to try. A word is enough for the wise.
Re : Meroh and frenchie in response to Anon May 7, 2012 1:43 AM: I have gone for several church deliverances including MFM but nothing has changed. Instead of abusing me and calling me names, why don't you pray for me?I can't help myself. that is why i said that I'm like Titi. I too want to marry and have my own children one day but if things continue like this,how will it happen?I cry every day.
Hey darling,
u need deliverance from sexual peversion. i pray u get delivered cos u are a sincere person who actually wants to be free.
therre is nothing God cannot do.
just look for a good church n go for deliverance.
Dear sweetie, Am so happy you are really looking for help. I can identify with that journey from London and B-ham (it makes me think a lot. Am so sorry that you were molested as a child and in a way it has left you constantly seeking approval from this very men so that you can get back to be a normal person.
Baby girl you would never get that feeling of being free from these men and besides you are even to young to be in such messy situation.
I wont blame you for anything because no one is perfect, the so called perfect people are just perfect liars.My advise is that you should have a one on one with God and go for therapy.
This phase of your life would pass and you would come out of it a stronger person. My heart cries out to you my darling
Be good my darling
Titi, please contact me at maryalmana@hotmail.co.uk
there is no solution with out a problem. This is not the place for you to get advise. You need to careful who advises you at this stage. Please do contact me, God bless.
anon@May 7,1.42 am, u really need help. u are a pedophile. may God deliver our children from people like u. dat ur fiancee will never marry you and i pray dat she finds out and exposes u for the animal dat u are.
hey peeps no need to be mean about this shit if u dnt have ANY ADVICE for the girl u might aswell F**K OFF. Eveyone makes mistakes and always wants a new begining so as a friend i'll say you should start from now, look at how u really want to live ur life and put it in practice, its not a day thing but we all kno practice makes perfect. its all about U and ur priority.. wish u the best babes..<3
Hmmmm I think you should do a 3 day fast no food no water and cry out to GOD. And you must use your will power to stop honestly you should not get married yet because you will molest your children.
Some people are so insensitive with the stupid comments they leave
Holier than thou attitude people portray ......... So annoying
@ Anon May 7, 2012 1:43 AM & Aanon May 8, 2012 4:18 PM
Did I call you names? Calling you a pedophile is an insult to you? you're in deep shit face reality before it's too late
A word is enough for the wise if multiple deliverances in church didn't work take my advice and go for a psychiatrist QUICK
if you get married and have children you'll abuse and rape them as well
what if you future wife finds out? what if your future children talk?
Nothing will work if you don't have the will to change
Dear girl i really relate to your story i was like you at a point in my life but now am with a guy who is the best thing that has happened to me. it took the grace of God, prayers and sincere zeal to change, you may have to do deliverance if necessary and talk to a psychotherapist, but it is more about God helping you. I wish you the best.
Titi i can help u out dont follow wot dey say ooooo here is my email addy send me a msg to know u are d titi and i will tell u wot to do email is dapravo4real@yahoo.com
First of all I think the best solution to this problem is prayer. Serious prayer! There is no need to feel ashamed, although what you are doing is very wrong. In this modern age I can't say "don't sleep with a man before marriage".You can sleep with people but don't sleep with people that are so much older than you. And finally I think what you are looking for is love. Most girls confuse this need for love. They look for it in the wrong places, you don't need to act that way too. There are so many wonderful people within your age bracket who would make better companions.
The best thing is to continuously pray. Ask for God's forgiveness, mercy and guidance. And please face your books. That is what you went to England for
@ Anon May 7, 2012 1:43 AM & Anon May 8, 2012 4:18 PM :
Mr Pedophile, Yes that is what you are. Please go and check yourself into a mental institution. You say you slept with a 3year old girl.Mr man, you didn't sleep with her. You RAPED a 3 year old child and you shall surely pay for it. In fact, you have already started paying for it with your impotence.People like you don't deserve to walk the face of the earth.PEDOPHILE.
Why r nigerians sooo ignorant i realli wish i could understand d logic behind it. Most pple keep condeming d poor girl wen most of u kno that child molestation is always happening in nigeria. I still read about an 11yrs old girl molesting a 4yr old boy r u telling me dat its normal 4 an 11yrs old to be having sex obviously she has been molested before nd she's probably used to sex. Titi dear molestation in an early age affects pple phscologically so i can imagine wat u're goin thru pls concentrate on your studies nd graduate in flying colours. Nd if u could start by avioding men for a while it wud be realli gud i kno its hard but God wud see u thru
To become a distributor of dangote cement call sales manager (RS scheme): 07088773395
Post a Comment