Hi Linda, my name is Titi, this is my story and i would like you to publish it so i can get advice. I am a 19 year old student currently studying law in one of the top universities in the United kingdom. Although 19 i look like im in my 20's. My friends describe me as 'an extremely nice generous person' I come from a well to do family and i have never lacked anything in life. Im writing this in tears because im ashamed of myself but at the same time cant stop it.
Right from a very young age i was molested by several men and some of these men i still see till today and some i even have to call 'uncle'. When people ask me if im a virgin i dont know what answer to give them say no im not a virgin i lost my virginity when i was 5 or i truly lost my virginity right when i was 16 because i honestly dont know the answer to that question myself.
Right from age 13 i started dating older men find it very difficult to date guys my age. When i do find guys my age something always goes wrong and i always end up messing up and pushing them away. My friends make fun of the fact that i date only older guys but they dont know that it hurts me that i do date older guys. they dont know just how old these guys are because i even lie to them about it. I have to keep secrets and lie to my best friends, my family because im not proud of who I am.
My life makes me cry and sad because i know i smile everyday but im dying slowly inside. i have 3 major problems. My friends boyfriend seem to always want to get with me and it makes me sad because im like why do the try this with me is it the way i carry myself or portray myself. Second problem is i find it very difficult to say no to men and it makes me wonder if its related to the harassment i have suffered in the past. yes im only 19 but i have had sex with at least 20 different men and its not that i do it because i get pleasure from it because i actually hate sex.
Thirdly i am a hypocrite because i abuse girls when im talking with my friends of doing the exact same thing i do. I accuse them and abuse them of sleeping with men old enough to be their fathers for money and material things. i try to convince myself that im not with these men because of material things or anything but because i genuinely like them as i dont ever ask these men for money or any thing. I am currently dating a 48year old man who i honestly and genuinely love not because of money or anything even though he is a billionaire. I decided to write this because on my train back to birmingham from spending the week with him in london. it hit me that although I honestly love him he probably doesn't care about me at all and is only with me because of sex and it made me wake up and ask my self questions. I have no reason to be with him because sex is not amazing with him, i dont ask him for money or things as im not a materialistic person at all. So why do i do it? Do i look at these men as my father as my father is dead?
I am honestly and genuinely scared that im never going to find true love or go for a guy my age or that if i eventually do fall in love with a guy my age my past will catch up with me. This deeply worries me as im scared that i'll drag my family's name in the mud as i love my family so much and would never do anything to hurt them. I have tried my best to stop this. Please help me .
I know this story is not well written as i rushed to do it but please publish it.
You're lucky you're in the UK. You can get real help in the form of therapy. If you're in school you can get a referral through your school's health center. There's nothing wrong with talking with a psychotherapist, so don't further stigmatize yourself. Get well and get healthy.
ReplyDeleteOyinbo no see dis obe as problem o. It is normal for their ladies to find themselves in a diff mans bed evry weekend - just Part of a wild/fun nite out
DeleteAshawo oshi , Olobo fan ice. Common close ya legs and face ya books. Being molested is no excuse to spread ya legs apart for any man like planta.
ReplyDeleteAll this one wey you write no was with me you just need to get a grip go for std cos you go don get std for younder.
Pls grow up,stop abusing the poor girl!
DeleteShe clearly has a problem!
Na wa for people sef!
ur just too judgemental. yes being molested causes a person to go astray in terms of sexual immorality or it makes one tougher n often time u end up hating the opposite sex.
DeleteSee as person kolo reach
DeleteY insult dis gehl. It took guts to hav decided to write nd publish dis publicly. Wat she wants is advise nt insult.u culd snd her into depression.
DeleteLmaoooo @olobo fan ice,cmon dtz sick.
DeleteOde oshi! R u witout sin! B dere casting stones n judging d gel as if ur life is any beta! Oponu. If u dnt av any reasonable or gud advice 4 her refrain 4rm insults.
DeleteYou be fool! Na people like u dey molest oda pikins!ode oshi!!!
DeleteWait until you are faced with the same situation or a child of yours is before you start condemning and insulting. Haba! Don't you have a heart? The kid needs even your help. Apparently you have nothing to help except condemnation.
DeleteWho r U̶̲̥̅̊ to judge blOody fool if ur female im sure uve slept wit @ least 50men if ur a guy lik 100 girls its ur type dat stands on the street,the poor girl myt b unda a spiritual attack or she myt nt jus kno hw to say no just lik most girls today.S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ dnt gimme dat holier dan thou attitude bitch
DeleteBarbie's comment has finished me LWKMD!
Deletei once helped someone with dis same problem... contact me....N.B, also b very prayerful..............DEEONE
ReplyDeleteAhhhh Nkan be *in the voice of Late Kola Olawuyi* {Strange things)
ReplyDeleteu need to make up ur mind n tame urself
ReplyDeleteMost girls if not all are materialistic....that's a fact......u are with a billionaire and u tell me it's not because of the money? They all have nuthin to offer u but sex, and since u don't enjoy it.....shineeeee ur eye well well and look for a guy in the mid- twenties to thirties that u will call ur own and make u happpy. Everyone has a past and lots of haters will come here to criticize u for sleeping with 20 guys, I can assure u many of them are worst so don't let them make u feel guilty.....all d best Hun, and think of the woman that suffered all her life for u (ur mother)
ReplyDeleteits a pity
ReplyDeletena wah
ReplyDeleteBabe, you NEED TO SEE A THERAPIST. LIB readers would not help you. They would not even understand your situation. The harsh ones here will call you all sorts of names and blame you for your problems... but listen.
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are not the first neither will you be the last victim of this kind of injustice. I suggest you urgently seek a shrink and become a recluse until you figure out WHO YOU ARE!!
Sweetheart, you can say NO and you will find true love. But you need to take the first step to recovery. Realising that you've got a problem is a starter.
Goodluck.
~ Menakaya's Baby.
Best comment so far. Tnk u
DeleteRight!
DeleteBest comment so far. Tnk u
DeleteWhoever you are Menakaya. You correct. God bless you for her. Just that you should have asked her to seek God too.
DeleteIf u see a therapist make sure say na woman o and if it cannot be woman then padlock ur toto with agandangodo.
DeleteHmmm girl u need Jesus nd pray to God to help u stay away frm men for a while..Focus on discoverin urself nd also tell God to heal ur past But importantly u need Jesus..Read ur bible too d word of God heals..Do not allow fear, its a killer!!
ReplyDeleteChange your mindset. Don't let your past haunt you no more.
ReplyDelete-From a random LIBer LIBing while taking a dump.
Wow! This story reminds me of my ex-roommate in Uni. She was also molested by an older idiot (her friend's elder brother).
ReplyDeleteNo advice we give here would really change you because from your story, you know your problem, you just can't summon the will to overcome it.
Sweets, I wish I could help you but the right words fail me! Probably, you should try counseling, group therapy and the likes; see a psychologist or something.
ashewo oshi like you 48 year old man no shame
ReplyDeleteThunder fire u there for calling her ashawo!...you no get problem?? Ass like u!!! Its people like u dat will die in silence!fool!fool!!
DeleteYou are a bitch for calling her an ashawo. Idiot. Heartless fool. And I'm sure you've slept with an octogenerian before. Instead of you to offer advise you're judging her. If you don't have anything worthwhile to say to her that can help her, then shut the hell up and move on to the next story! Its people like you that would never, ever find peace because you cant ever show your neighbour true love. Beast.
DeleteThis is sad... But i suggest u book sessions with a seasoned shrink.... It's more of a psychological problem that runs deep if u ask me.... Hope u get back on track in d long run.. Sad cos ur story's similar to so many ladies these days..
ReplyDeleteIts always worthwhile for somebody to love herself first. It pays because when you genuinely love yourself every other things follow eg self respect, self esteem etc. I will advise this girl to look for a book "you can heal your life" and read. Do every thing possible to love yourself and when you do you won't throw yourself to every old man for whatever. Thanks and pls heed to this my advice.
ReplyDeleteYou need to speak to a psychologist or counselor and pray to God for divine intervention. You are not the worst out there but you certainly need professional help.
ReplyDeleteGive your life to Christ! That's the only way out baby.
ReplyDeleteAll i can say is dat u ask God for the grace and also put in your best to stop it.
ReplyDeleteOh well this is a psychological problem cos me self am asking myself why,cos u don't do it for money,u don't enjoy the sex,then why?
ReplyDeleteIf this is a genuine article..then i will give my advice...dear young girl....first things first...we have all being through horrible things in our lives...its happened...u need to let it go hun, do not let your past determine your future...wake up...delete those mens number...change your phone number. Start afresh....find a reason to start loving your
ReplyDeleteself again....i wont advice you date for a while....your life should not be surrounded by boys, men and dating....ur 19 ...find more meaning to life, focusnon school, travel, go to the cinema, sight seeing, be young, be fun and live your age. Start a journey of self discovery...take on the will and powernto say No....do not be ashamed even if u run into those men that have uv slept with or hv assaulted u....u should raisenur head high and walk in the beauty of whom you aim to become. but alll this starts with a willingness and true resolve to change...U DO NOT NEED ANY ThING From these men....You deserve to be treated better and to be in a healthy normal age appropraite relationship which shouldnt be sexual or u having it to anything wotsoever 2 please ur partner. You do not owe anyone anything....you are ur own boss....stop letting stupid guys mould ur future. I hope u make the change u deserve....start building ur deep love of self, values and esteem...be grateful for the blessing u have and have the power to say NO... Be strong...my heart goes out to u as u take steps to make it right. ur young...its not too late...kisssses & hugsss Abbey
Errrrrrrr 1st tings 1st u need counselling.if dat doesn't work kindly go for deliverance..Mfm or d likes...its a spiritual ting nd u have to attack every force from every angle$either that or u inherited dt nature from sum1
ReplyDeleteTiti,am happy that you have found your way home. All i would encourage you to do is go to him(GOD) in prayer in ur inner room, ask him to change nd transform you.Secondly tell the man that you dont want any more and stop. Thirdly live a life of holiness and righteous.
ReplyDeleteFrom a girl ur age and social background, I would like to say I think the first thing you need to do is pray....step away from everything, maybe take sometime to be on ur own find urself, we can't ever let our past define us, u are in control u choose how u handle situations.
ReplyDeleteI dnt judge u because i havn't walked in ur shoes and neither should u be judging others. I'll be praying for u but like i said maybe u need to break up any current relationships and be you, travel maybe? red some uplifting book after exams?
All the best
You are the only person that can actually control yourself, so until you stop living in the past, you are never going to move forward. Turn to God too for advice and yes, this world is a small place, what goes around comes around. The sooner you stop this iniquities the better. Just know that there is no one perfect person in this world except God. I just hope you use the advice you get from this blog.
ReplyDeletemy dear you can say no to men. you are still very young and have your whole life ahead of u.Make your education your priority for now. Forgive yourself and take a break from men.Dont give up on urself plss.Get closer to God.
ReplyDeleteGal, u shld go for deliverance and hand urself over to God cos u may be under a curse or spell, hw wld u do tins u dunt enjoy or wish to be involved in? Probably d molestatn or d older men u date is havin effect on u, pls gal visit a pastor for deliverance
ReplyDeletebeing molested at that young age doesn't break your virginity does it???
ReplyDeleteU sound like u were sexually molested and still claiming virgin
DeleteLinda, my advise is for you. Start another blog titled, STORIES THAT TOUCH THE HEART, and publish these tales there. Nonsense!!!! I have my own story, I SCREAM WHEN I HAVE SEX, PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLmfaooooo nar ur madt gan lwkmd
DeleteO fuck!!! U scream? Wat do u scream? Can we hear u?
DeleteI wonder hw old u are. So dats all u hav to say? #hiss#
DeleteI support you whole-heartedly even though I can't help laughing at your comment.
DeleteHehehehe........crazy girl , scream the more, are the guys complaining?
DeleteYou don't wanna stop it, dat's d reason u'v not stopd it. If we knw ourselves then d solution 2 stopin our bad character is right within us. My dear, try 2 ignore men, u'll notice u can do without them
ReplyDeleteAQOT of ABUgists.com
Thank God she admitted her flaws in the writings.Wrong use of english.I wuld have devoured her with words.But come to think of it,this is not somfin to get our eyes glued on her story and seek for our advice.Its simple,stop sleeping around,get some brains,and tell the 21st man that u aint sleeping with him.#Gbam,next!
ReplyDeleteSharrap teacher chike
Deletetiti you can say no whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve, pray believe and with time you will change a gradual process but ut will happen. first break up with ur 48yr old man and stay away from dating any guys for now. get to know yourself learn to love your own company and fight through loneliness that will make you feel like you need a guy. it can be done you can say NO. you know ur problem which is the first step, also stop being a hypocrite make the change that you want to be. guess what unfortunately a lot of nigerians in my experience display the hypocrisy you defined and many will do that on this blog in response to you.
ReplyDeleteAm sorry you got molested at a young age, but once you are willing to change and you seek GOD. trust me you will get vengeance because GOD does not tolerate such. now you will find a man that will love you regardless of your past but first you have to change be alone for a while get to know who you are. GOD BE WITH YOU.
Hello Titi, i used to have the same problem with u but God has delivered me. 2 me, Urs is minor. I went through alot cuz no one wanted to be my friend then. Pls send me an email, wanna b a friend, i'm in the same age range with u and i'm based in UK too. My email address is soniadavis89@ymail.com. I'll b expecting ur mail, thanks!!
ReplyDeleteBest you just have to zero your mind on dating men, Just take it from the perspective that you are new in dating and go for guyz in same Age range like you.. That could help.
ReplyDeleteThat you wrote it in a hurry is nt an excuse fr this shit load of grammatical error.Were u trying to meet a deadline?
ReplyDeleteMy dear! U can go & join convent!!! U already accepted dat wat ur doin is wrong so discipline ur mind! stop the 'pity party'
ReplyDeleteWhy r u do heartless my gosh
DeleteWhere did she say she sleeps with her friends boyfriend olodo
DeleteAlot of issues here:
ReplyDelete1.u hate sex
2.u dont do it because of money or material things
3.u cheat on ur gilfriends with their guys
4. u dont love them
then could it be a spell? Pray my dear, God will help u.
http://gsmhospital.net
Dear Titi,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have been through a lot. First, I want you to know that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Being molested was never your fault; those who took advantage of the younger you should bear all the shame for taking away your innocence and reducing sex for you to something meaningless. You must let go of that shame and let go of those men, you owe them nothing so stay away from them as much as possible. Second, you need to find all the beautiful qualities about yourself, things that make you unique and precious. Knowing your qualities will help you better value yourself. You do not just give precious stones to anyone. Take some time to look at yourself in the mirror, really look at yourself and notice all the beautiful features that you have. Also, take some time to list all your wonderful qualities. Internalize this and always remember them when you engage with men. Third, related to the last point, you need to create standards for yourself. Be honest with yourself; what qualities in men do you like/admire and what qualities do you dislike. Be selective in the men you share yourself with according to the standards you create for yourself. Remember, people will only treat you badly if you say nothing and allow them to.
Fourth, you need to realize that your young experience with men seems to be tainting your love life. I do not think you truly find younger men hard to date but that you have no idea how to date them. Perhaps talking to your most trusted friends can help, they might be able to give you some pointers. Fifth, you must never confuse being nice with being accommodating. You have a right to say no to men. The key for you is to realize that you do not owe men anything. You are no longer 5 years old when men could force you to do things you didn’t like. You are a 19 year old, bright and beautiful woman with enormous potential. Your relationships with men started at a young age but now you are a grown up with a mind of your own, use it. Being picky about the men you engage with does not make you mean but self-preserving.
Finally, you need to be confident; confident enough to appreciate yourself and to occasionally displease others. You owe no one anything. Remember, the best revenge for all the men that took advantage of you is for you to find love and live a fruitful and happy life. Stay calm and slow down. Really think about what you are getting into when I man asks you out and exercise your judgment. Remember, saying no is your right.
I hope you find someone trusted to talk to, a therapist perhaps, someone to help you work through the issues of your molestation and who can reinforce just how wonderful you are. Take good care of yourself, no one can do that better than you.
Cheers
Ur comment is longer dan d story itself. Pls write in brief next time. Thanchu!
DeleteWe all hv our own problems, i want my 4 minutes back! Longest hissssssssssssssssss
ReplyDeleteOne might read this and say all sorts but you come out as someone intelligent to me. Sounds like u already have an good idea of what's causing all that. You're covered by so much hate in the past that you kinda lost track of who you are. You need to establish that connection back and first of all love yourself for who you are. You need to gain self control and not allow the past decide your future. Easier said than done but it's possible. Memories would always remain but you can tailor bad memories with good ones. If u feel they aint good ones you've still got so many years ahead to make as many. I'm happy you posted this cause you've admitted to self-realization and the need for change. U need to gain control of yourself knowing when telling yourself say yes and no..thinking more bout you and less of others. God is your help and would protect you.
ReplyDeleteYou poor thing. I was abused at age 4 by a driver am 35 now and have only had 1 boyfriend and married to my 2nd! Because you were abused is not a reason to sleep around. Since you are in the UK why don't you talk to your GP about seeing a Therapist? I honestly think that's what you need since you can't seem to help yourself. Hope you get something sorted. It's not a way to live and you could even be depressed using sex as an avenue. GET HELP FAST! you are so young. Don't waste your life away.
ReplyDeleteDear Titi
ReplyDeleteYour story is touching I must say. Having enjoyed life early has really affected your personality. Psychologically you are not going to find it easy to mingle with yours peers and by extension your male age group. This is because at your age now 19, you have lived a life of openess to your environment when you are suppose to be thinking about your future. You have now allowed superiority complex to enveloped your inner mind. I cannot say its your fault but in any case at the age of 5 you have been disvirgined calls for a serious examination of your past time.
Again starting life at age 19 is not too late. You can find inner peace within yourself by pleasing God and not your peers. Maintain the habit of respecting people irrespective of their status(financially, socially, etc).
Also note that when you feel good about yourself, you attract good people into your life. Now that you are in the mode penitence, try to retrace your past and locate what might have gone wrong. It could be because you were sexually molested at a tender age. But in the other hand it could mean inferiority complex. Titi, having self-confidence is the secret of living a happier life.
Titi, I will advise you to live a simply life. It may mean having to drop some of your friends. It may mean staying away from parties, nightouts, clubs etc. It may mean stopping a particular habit - whatever. I know it will be difficult for you to find the joy you have always longed after. But trust me change will come your way soonest.
Titi you shall soon find the man of your age who will love you unconditionally. 1
Ohh dear, i can relate so much to you....i used to be that way because i was molested as well when i was only a child and it made me grow up fast...i couldn't say "no" to men either...i felt men gave me a sense of security that i never got growing up and that's why i didn't know how to say "NO"
ReplyDeleteTips for moving on...
I turned my focus from men entirely....it was hard but i had to do it for myself....i needed to be able to love myself, forgive myself and heal....
.....i spoke to some1 about it....some1 who wouldn't judge me....i didnt talk to my family or friends...i spoke to some1 who knew nothing about my life...i spoke to a therapist @ my university in canada...it was so confidential
i remember walking in there that day....as soon as i started talking, i wept and wept and wept and wept....i never thought i could cry that much....
when u cry, it helps you let go....and makes u focus on the best way forward
3} i focused on God...you might not believe in GOD, but trust me, there is a God who is forgiving no matter how much sin you think you have committed....
i prayed everyday...i started to read my bible chapter after chapter...and as i read my bible i learnt sooo much about life....i knew what was expected of me to do as a christian and what i shouldn't do...sometimes even when i feel the need to slip back into Sin, the Holy spirit whispers to me and i just stop or quickly run away from the situation.....
But sweetie only God can help you out of the state you are in....I know this because i have been there....
Eventually the right Guy came along for me...i was 95% honest about my past to him...But he didnt care..He loved me regardless....when he Met me, i was'nt that insecure, sexually abused looking girl, i was a confident girl who had given her life to God... He was even the one who suggested the "no sex b4 marriage"... he wanted me to feel comfortable....
sometimes i don't why i deserve a Guy so loving and so caring...
he is so involved with my christian life....he helps me grow in every aspect of my life...
IN A NUTSHELL, I DIDNT DESERVE A GUY LIKE HIM...BUT GOD BROUGHT HIM TO BE....
IF U CAN FOLLOW THESE STEPS SWEETIE, YOU WILL FIND HAPPINESS....
SEX WILL NEVER BRING YOU HAPPINESS
DATING OLDER MEN WILL NEVER BRING YOU HAPPINESS
YOU ARE STILL VERY HURT AND YOU HAVE TO HEAL,,,LET JESUS INTO YOU HEART.....
PS: I AM NOT A PREACHER....BUT THIS WAS HOW I WAS ABLE TO LET GO OF THE PAIN AND STOP SEEING MYSELF as WORTHLESS....
IF U NEED TO TALK SOME MORE EMAIL ME @ somiakam@yahoo.com
all of u people saying negative thngs shud just shut it please, have ever been molested? mchew!
ReplyDeleteI Have!! n i tell u for a long time i used to think about it every single day, n the pain just grew bigger bcz i cudnt tell nyone abt it,until i woke one day and decided i was not goin to b a victim anymore and i deserved better than what my life was. i think u deserve better than wat happened to u when u were young, dnt giv in to d pain n stop being sorry for urself, seek therapy n pray about it. think about all d other things in life that u've always wanted to do and go for them, the memories of molestation are nothing but huge blocks to seeing who u truly are and becoming what u wnt, i know it hurts and know one will ever truly understnd until they've been there, it is the worst feeling ever.
Titi My Dear, i undrstand u perfectly and i'll just recommend three basic steps to take.
ReplyDelete1. Discover yourself:U should do this cause the only idea you have of who you are is what you have sadly experienced. but i believe there's more to you than that. i won't ask you to try and forget all you've been through cos, those experiences form a framework for your self discovery;as you know where you are coming from and where you are going. Date your SELF for a while.
2. Get a Confidant: Someone you can trust with your personal issues, encourage you and direct you on the right path, who would be hard on you when you need it, someone who sees the best in you and is ready to hold your hand till you become the woman God has destined you to be. it should be a female and a neutral person(no relatives)
3. God: Get to know him cause you can never get enough of him. U can talk to him about anything and believe you me, he is always listening. Ask him for the Holy Spirit to direct you and heal your heart. You can get to him through the Bible,Bible-oriented spiritual books...and i'll recommend a movie i just saw to you; THE ENCOUNTER. Am Sure this will help you. I Care.
First my comment go out to the 2nd person who made a comment. U really must be shallow. I'm a psychiatrist resident and 90% of those abused sexually at a young age develop a mental illness.
ReplyDeleteTo the young girl in the story. You need help. Psychologically u hv been traumatized. Seek help. The psychologist wld put you through. It's a painful process but I'm sure you would pull through.
Also seek the face of God. Literally cry to Him and you would see He would hear you.
Praying for you
Still will b expecting ur mail Titi. Its soniadavis89@ymail.com
ReplyDeleteSeriously, i feel for you. For you to make this public means you really want to stop it! My sincere advice, you need to see a therapist & you need deliverance too.
ReplyDeleteBaby,you need not to think of the past for you to be able to forge ahead.If you don't review your story no one will know.What you need to do now is to be self denier.I mean you should not go back to your old way of life.Get to me on facebook for more advice:james.dada1 or my number:08032149911,08052372996.
ReplyDeleteIt's alright..
ReplyDeleteEmail me and we could solve this as I am in Birmingham as well.
okoriemickey@yahoo.co.uk
SWEETHRT, I UNDRSTAND UR PLIGHT! I HAVE BEEN IN A SIMILAR SITUATION...LOOKING 4 LUV IN D WRONG PLACES..D ONLY PERSON WHO CAN TRULY HELP U IS JESUS! GIVE UR LIFE TO HIM, ALLOW HIM CHANNEL D COURSE OF UR LIFE! BECOME A MEMBER OF A "WORD BASED CHURCH" SO U CAN GROW SPIRITUALLY! GOD LOVES U FAR MORE DAN U CAN IMAGINE! GOODLUCK AND GOD'S GRACE
ReplyDeletetiti pls dont be disturbed by discouraging comments.contct timdanka@gmail.com for further counsel.ur chances are still high
ReplyDeleteTiti,
ReplyDeleteDo not listen to what anyone says on here! None of them are qualified psychiatrists or bible believing pastor.
The solution is within in, you can overcome all these and more you just need God and a good support system.
And if you do love the 48yr old man, tell him and see what happens.
I live in Birmingham and would like to help b_d_az@hotmail.com
The first thing u need to do is love yourself and stop looking for faults. Trust me girls have done worse. Even girls in Nigeria that are suppose to have more values.
ReplyDeleteI have this one friend in Lagos that is a sex addict, the girl can't help herself, the babe sleeps with everything in both skirt n trousers.... but if u see her u will never know, because she carries herself like a saint, however she makes it a point to tell me about her escapades in detail because apparently i never judge her. The funny thing is she met a man last yr and he proposed to her a few months after they met and they are getting married in a few days.
Back to my point, love urself first and stop thinking you are a bad person. I honestly dont think ur preference for older men is a bad thing babe. Just try to pray to God to give u control and he will. It wont happen over night but it will happen.
I guess you've already gotten the message by now. The sane people here have advised u 2 go 4 therapy. You can ignore the insane n judgemental comments, as u called ursef hypocrite, I can bet dat d people critisizin n callin u names here are worse hypocrites dan u, so shrug it off. Your early childhood experience really has contributed to what you going through now n luckily u ve identified d problem, d next best thing now is to go see a psychologist as soon as possible. Good 2 know dat u in UK, so getting a psychologist shouldn't be far-fetched. It might take some time to cure, but with ur compliance, determination n dedication, u will get cure in no time. Am sure u beautiful, young n u ve got a good career u studying towards to guarantee u a good future, just don't ruin it now. D 48year old man is bad 4 u, trust me, regardless of ur feelings 4 him or wateva he offers u, he's BAD 4 u. So quit seen him n search for real love with someone u can be proud to publicly associate with.
ReplyDeleteAll hope is not lost, n remember 2 pray about it. Wishing d best.
Walahi, I know this so called "titi".....somebori gas to collect slap tonight.
ReplyDeleteWow, i pray for God's help in your life.
ReplyDeleteProud that there are still some pple wit conscience out here...the girl was brave enuf to share her story,knowing pple would insult her,for dose insulting her calling her ashewo...search urself...nobody holy pass
ReplyDeleteAll of u callin her 'ashawo' re either uneducated or inexperienced. Just pray dt ur children shld nt be sexually abused at a very tender. Some of u just open ur mouth n say rubbish. My dear, thank God u ve realised dt u ve a problem. U need to see psychologist/counsillor n need to get closer to God, read His word n pray fervently 4 his Holy Spirit to help u.u also need to associate wit d rit pple n concentrate on ur studies. U don't need a man (older or younger) to be happy. My litu token. Annie
ReplyDeletei am also a 19 year old girl, i have gone through worse things and done alot of things, but now today because i have always had that focus on being a great lady, i put all that behind, so it don't distract me. this is your private life girl, you should not post it online, the world does not have to know. and trust me if u really say these things happen to you ,you would not have to or even think of posting it online, you would talk about it with sum1 you truly trust deeply... but all the same its you life, you handle it the way you want. i just think you focus to much on these problems and how to solve them... girl focus on greater and better things because there is a whole new wolrd out there with greater opportunities. GOOD LUCK DEAR.
ReplyDeleteNne u need jesus in your life, your past has been manipulated by evil spirit, now that u`ve realised your mistakes, try and give ur life to christ he is the only one that has an everlasting, and permanent solution to your problem. take care and dont let ur past haunt you. move ahead with your life. good luck !!!!
ReplyDeleteONOME says..........
ReplyDeleteYawn
Boring
19 years?
Get over your sob story and right your life.Others have gone through worse so what really is your excuse?You were molested young,ok I get it.That is the past.WHY HAVE YOU REFUSED TO MOVE ON?
Yawn
HIV/AIDS is real.And double condoms will not protect you 100%.STIs etc.Don't you have any sense?
Quit playing the victim role here and TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR DAMN LIFE.
Onome i now use to like you.......this ur foolish comment is noted so ur brainless like this ba kmt.
DeletePlease, don't take any notice of some of the cruel commentators.
ReplyDeleteIf you are a Christian then start going to church and give your life to Christ and stop dating for sometime.
If you are a Muslim then take you religion deeply and stop misusing your body.
You said you are a law student in the UK, so why have you not seen a therapist for help? You can tell your GP to refer you to one as soon as possible.
Having sex at five was not your fault and it is affecting your life badly. Not having a father psychologically makes you want the love and comfort of a father figure.
You need help badly because it can lead to depression and a waste of life.
Are you show that you are not on drugs because most drug addicts cannot say no to sex for drugs. If so, seek help and go to a rehab.
ReplyDeleteI was molested wen I was younger by a neigbour n my uncle 4 a very long tym and I've also dated older men but nw I've gotten over that phase in lyf without tlkin to any1 abt it, I just woke up 1 day n made up my mind cos I knw it was wrong. I'm currently datin a guy who is 3 yrs older than me n I'm lovin it, although I still am tmpted to follow those older men I talk to myslf n I feel ok. Dearie mk up ur mind n u will do it.I hp I helped. Goodluck
ReplyDeleteYou need to do two main things - See a therapist, and pray. You also need to start loving yourself.
ReplyDeleteWith all d above advice, if u do not hav a vocational activity dat u love doing to engage u, u will definitely fall back to ur bad habits.
ReplyDelete(1)All ur girlfriends boyfriends eye u? That is a natural thing that boys do!(Especially players)it has nothing to do with ur swag!
(2)You hate sex? That is NOT a plus! You should actually learn to enjoy sex in other to be able to SELECT ur preferred type of men to sleep with.
(3)You can't say no to men? Yes cuz u feel u worth nothin and they are doin u a favor. Solution: Try an set a goal in life and work hard to achieve it! You are currently bored with no challenges as u never lacked anything.
You better enjoy your vejeje while your are still young. Just wear protection, keep the counts to yourself and enjoy your life. MEN are enjoying their's.
ReplyDeleteI know alot of people on dis forum will rush to pass judgement on this lady seeking through repentance. but b4 you do, hush! and take stock of your own life. My dear TiTi, i must appreciate your boldness and willingness of heart to seek for help. First, you have to make up your mind, stop whatever you are doing right now and fall on your knees and ask JESUS to come into your life and forgive you your sins and wash away by his blood all unrighteousness in your life. YES, its that easy, cos He forgives the moment you confess him. Jesus alone can heal you of your past,pain, guilt and weight of sin upon your life. stay focus and do know that you are on the right path to everlasting peace and joy. Do not waist time as HELL is real, now is the time of salvation. Jesus came for your sake, to restore back to himself the lost sheep of the house of isreal. Shalom! NB, i stay around birmingham, you can inbox me your mobile so i can ring you for prayers, advice and more via my email. Am a lady evangelist and my email is, eoyanu@ yahoo.com. stay strong!
ReplyDelete♏Ɣ dear, †̥ђع only solution τ̲̅ȍ ur problem is for U̶̲̥̅̊ τ̲̅ȍ give ur life τ̲̅ȍ christ. Only God in A̶̲̥̅ man's life can resolve †̥ђع sin problem. When U̶̲̥̅̊ give ur life τ̲̅ȍ Christ, U̶̲̥̅̊ r empowered τ̲̅ȍ live above sin.
ReplyDeleteAm sorry U̶̲̥̅̊ were molested as A̶̲̥̅ young girl, I also had same experience though I was 21 then, and also A̶̲̥̅ christian. But I cried out τ̲̅ȍ God despite †̥ђع pain and anger I felt towards God cos He didn't stop it from happening, bt I believe He was and is †̥ђع only one who can help M̶̲̥̅Ƹ . Av come out stronger and better and I can encourage anyone who's going thru same thg I went thru then, 10yrs later. Every pain U̶̲̥̅̊ av gone thru hasn't gone unnoticed by God, if only U̶̲̥̅̊ can cry out τ̲̅ȍ Him, he'll take U̶̲̥̅̊ past it, heal U̶̲̥̅̊ and make ur story an encouragement τ̲̅ȍ young ladies out there going thru similar experiences.
Give ur life τ̲̅ȍ Christ today, He's waiting for U̶̲̥̅̊ .
Try say no for once and see how it feels so say no...that's the first step, the next comes easy
ReplyDeleteDear Titi,
ReplyDeletei was once molested by the people i know and the ones i dont even know, i know how it feels to be molested, i am just 20 too. All you have to do is to turn to JESUS, his the only way, u can do it,go to church, pray, fast and seek his deliverance, later talk to ur mummy, she cant judge.u cant trust friends,friends will always stay friends.
Ope
First of all I must commend you for posting this message as you must take the criticism with the advice. I live in UK also and some men need psychological help as they will pursue anything. But as a young woman, you need to make up mind and stop attaching the wrong crowd, study and move closer to GOD. JJB
ReplyDeleteI understand how u feel. My best friend was raped at a really young age so she ended up sleeping around with every guy that gave her a look. I think u being abused as a child had an effect on u that surfacing as u sleeping around. I would advice (since u r in d UK) u go see a therapist. U need to talk to someone who wldnt judge u. U also need to pray and talk to God. He'll help u in a way I can't even explain.hope things work out for u in d future
ReplyDeleteCHI
Gal give dat cooshie a rest because cervical cancer is not ur friend o.
ReplyDeleteOn a serious note - im sure u must be one of those skinny girls dat tell fatso's to stoP eating. U too should train urself to curb ur sexual appetite or wareva gratification u r seeking. Direct ur youth and energy into profitable activities, if ur course is not challenging u enuff do another one simultaneously.
Above all seek God and honestly/humbly lay ur burdens at his feet; He will surely delver u and proove to u He is d only father u will ever need.
hun... well why are you mailing Linda astuching ur probs?
ReplyDeleteis she a counsellor of some sort?
even if you make ur email available a gud counsellor might not contact you as you have to do the contacting...
If you are genuine.. seek true counsel somwia else.
How to get true counsel... ask around. besides have you told your mum? or a big sister? Pastor's wife? or someone...
Linda(@pcm), most of the people that are claiming to share her pain and say she should contact them only want to take advantage of her. Please, I advice you do not link any of them to her. If they genuinely want to help,they can proffer solutions from where they are. As for your problem young lady, your exposure to older men is making you reason in their level. You look at guys your age as immature and unexposed. That is why your date with them never goes well. First, you need to discipline yourself and stop seeing these older guys. If there is a particular guy whom you like and is also responsible, ask him out. YES, i said ask him out as a friend. Try and adapt to his level of reasoning so that you can fit in. It won't be easy be it is doable. I do hope u find happiness soon if not you may loose your identity amongst your peers. If others can overcome such, so can u.
ReplyDeleteCHEERS
M̶̲̥̅̊γ̲̣̣̥ dear, ovarian cancer is 4real! Close ur friggin legs
ReplyDeleteAnd for all those who r quick to insult and judge,I feel sorry for u guys. What if this was ur sista, friend, cousin etc. What would u tell d person?? Would u be so unfeeling?? Its so sad when people come to this blog seeking advice, they get insults thrown at them. Let's hope none of u get to experience this
ReplyDeleteCHI
Hey babe, if this story is true then the best thing about it is that you realise you've got a problem(the most important actually), I know how it feels to be sexually molested because I was a victim myself. you cannot change your past but you should not live in it either!!!. people react differently when they're hurt and probably yours might be having sex. You have to LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO WANT THE BEST FOR YOU, this will be hard at first but you can start by surrounding yourself with better friends maybe and FORGIVE YOUR MOLESTERS because from what you wrote you haven't and you are living constantly under the influence of what they did. it is obvious that you are A BEAUTIFUL PERSON but you need to realise that, you need to KNOW YOUR WORTH and the fact that your were abused does not mean your value has diminished, No!!! it hasn't. sweet heart only you can truly help yourself, there are a lot of people around you that love and care for you. and do not forget to FORGIVE YOURSELF for only then will you experience true happiness and satisfaction and remember SEX IS NOT WHAT SOMEONE DOES TO ANOTHER PERSON, IT IS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED BY BOTH PARTIES and most of the sex actually happens in our minds, so get your mind sorted out first because sometimes our body seems ready but our minds are not.
ReplyDeleteGirl, girl, girl...i am calling u a girl simply because you are. see girl u have got it, what you crave for has been given to you, you crave for help, you crave for mercy, you crave for forgiveness, you crave for cleansing, you crave to overcome your limitations, you crave to forget your past that is hunting you. I bet you have tot of changing sometimes ago but wont work, all the listed above has been given to you. Now do this, go into the closest where no one can see you and cry your HEART OUT i mean CRY YOUR HEART OUT TO GOD IF YOU KNOW HIM AT ALL, girl no one can advice you right here except your conscience, after doing the above, do this again, ask your inner man this question "ARE YOU READY FOR A NEW LIFE?" if your genuine answer is yes,congrats, because thats it, but if your answer is no, then CONTINUE ENJOYING URSELF till further notice that you might never come accross such grace again in your life till you wither away. THE CHOICE IS YOUR. I LOVE YOU BUT JESUS DID MOST. i am SEGUN
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI think that this is definitely an internal situation. I think every woman goes through periods in life when she's unsure about love, professionalism etc. I don't think you're under a curse or spirit. You're just a young girl who has lost her way. I sympathize with you because I went through this phase where I believed the only way I could feel love was by dating an older man, kind of like replacing the absence of my father. But this guy got what he wanted and soon ditched me and I came to a realization. Don't rush this. Just seek an appropriate form of treatment, preferably counselling and I wish you all the best in your life.
Well, all i hav to say is dis
ReplyDelete" dis is tragic bt nt truly severe,
u can over come dis urself wit faith.
There is nothing gud abt sex or boyfrnd at ur age.. "
SOLUTION= firstly, acept Jesus nd b A born again christian
2. B prayerful,
3.depart and stay clear 4rm dem.
4. Concentrate on ur academics
and am sure u wil b amazed of ur new life style.
Tanx.
Opined by d ceo of www.9jagide.blogspot.com.
hi guys im the titi in the story. Thank you all for your comments and the harsh ones as well. people are so quick to open up and judge people. also people dint take their time to read my story well
ReplyDelete1. I never said i agreed to do any of my friends boyfriends.
2. I made it CLEAR that i have NEVER asked any of these men for money as i do not need to as my family is wealthy.
3. when i say 20 men i dont mean i have slept with 20 men from the time i had sex at age 16. let me give everyone a clear picture 13 out of those men molested me. and each time it happened it old my mum but she dint believe me.
Can you please report these animals to the police gosh im angry that this happened to you. 13 evil men and your mum dint believe you thats painful man. Please email me but im in coventry would love to encourage you prettyyoungthing2012@aol.com
DeleteYou sound like a slut. Forget molestation.h would have turned out an ashawo still
ReplyDeleteYou are a dickhead for that comment...
DeleteIdiot you must be one of those 13 animals idiot
DeleteErmmmmm.... I'm travelling on tuesday....kindly paste her number....I wanna set betta P.... Jehehe ...
ReplyDeleteYou need to stop making excuses for your past. Shit happens and there is nothing you can do the change your past.
ReplyDeleteYou need to accept what has happened and find a way to move on with your life. It wasn't your choice to be molested, but it is your choice to choose not to let it affect you any longer
It seems like you have a lot of deep-rooted psychological issues from your past which you have not been able to deal with. The one thing i think you need to deal with urgently is how you feel about yourself. I may be wrong but i see a lot of shame,low esteem and self-loathing. Go and see you GP ASAP, you might need psychiatry input to help you deal with these issue.
If you are a Christian, you can talk to God about your problems and ask him to show you how to overcome these issues. But remember your route of healing may not be through prayer alone.
Secondly you need to stop talking and listening to others. If someone ask you if you are a virgin either you say nothing or you ask them to mind their business. Secondly you need to stop gossiping about others;all that does if feed your shame and makes you hate yourself more.
I understand that your family name is important, but at this time you need to focus on yourself and do what you need to do to make yourself whole again.
Regarding relationship,you need to stop dating for a while. I think you date older men because you hate yourself so much and do not deserve to be in a good relationship. Until you deal with things it will be difficult to have a stable relationship.
You must seek help Now: Go and see ur GP
As advised earlier, u need a psychologist as well as a marriage counsellor. I no God will see u through, just believe and be ready to submit to his voice and will.
ReplyDeleteI reali tink u shud see an MFM pastor for deliverance cos dis is nt oju la san u dnt do it for money,sex. I reali pity u cos u young just tell ur mum cos prayer is d key.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you had to experience this. I hope it gets better. Please go see a therapist. I promise you, it will help you through this and it will make you accountable throughout your journey. ..It will get better
ReplyDeleteTiti,if u are reading this, i see the genuineness of ur heart,disregard wot some people v written here,and dont take it to heart to,bcos,1. they dont know where u r coming from,they v no clue wot u r going thru,they dont feel the pain u do,but i feel u. Trust me i do.2. some of them r just sad and they cant help being sad,having said that,ike someone rightly said,u cant get proper advise here and trust me u need counselling/prayer and someone to walk thru this with u,an accountability prayer so to say. I wld love to walk with u but i cant disclose my contact and name here,i pray God leads u to the right person. But plssssssssss,i bessech u with the mercy of God,seek help NOW!!!!!
ReplyDeleteTiti(we r name'sakes'
Dear titi, I don't think any advice frm here will help u bcos most Linda ikeji readers are full of hate words. Thank God u live here in uk, all u need is to speak 2 ur Gp n ur doctor can refer u to specialist. But u God b4 therapy. Walk to any Pentecostal church book appointment wit senior pastor am sure they will help u wit prayer. Pls stay away frm dis men, sharing ur body wit diff men does notin gud to u, is like dey re taking ur glory away frm u. Pls n pls I can understd ur pain but dt let ur past affect ur present life. If u dt mind u can come to my church RCCG house of praise camberwell, pastor in charge Mr & Mrs Adeleke. I think u need deliverance to break away frm ur past, If u are a christian u can speak to ur pastor. I hope n pray u overcome dis phrase of life. All d best darlyn xxx
ReplyDeleteI really hate to go all Nollywood on this thing but sometimes (rarely yet sometimes) Nollywood can help with real life.
ReplyDeleteRita Dominic's character in the movie, DISTANCE BETWEEN had this exact same problem.
In her case, her uncle had molested her continuously as a child. In fact she had told her parents about it and they had constantly insulted her for lying against her uncle and when she grew up she indeed became a harlot and could not accept love even when it was from a genuine man (aka Yemi Blaq).
Personally, I believe that at first you need to accept that you have a problem which you have done. Then you need to rid yourself of all old baggages aka go to those men and let them know that you remember. Let their wives know what they did let your mother know what they did... if they want to believe you or not is their own cup of tea.
Accept Christ into your life for he has the ability to heal ALL wounds. Stop dressing provocatively. No too much cleavage or anything... just stay away from men. Take a pledge of celibacy for a year if need be.
The Lord will give you strength
And all those who are calling her an ashawo, just pray that this situation never becomes your plight because then it will do you like film trick
Dear Titi,
ReplyDeleteI had the same issue you had at a point in my life as well athough I am 18. I am also a law student and I grew up in the UK, still in this crappy country though lol.
Firstly, I learnt this in college from a motivator his name is Action Jackson. He said if ou surround your self with greatness, you will then be great, in other words if you surround yourself with friends like you mentioned then you will always be in that position whereby, you and your friends are always talking about men.No offence or anything but I am guessing you surround yourself with those wild Nigerian girls (heard a lot about them, silly freshies). Anyway you need to change your mentality, 48 year old man thats really crazy. Theres nothing wrong with wanting to date older men just not a 48 year old. Dont he have a family or something? as i was saying change your mentality, have something else you focus on. like your future and al. they say if you want to kill a habit you will need to replace it with another, this time make sure you replace with positive one. I must say i dont agree with sleeping with so many men that needs to stop, words spread quickly round London. I also think you need to be closer to God, that is very important. I know a couple of people that are always craving for sex and are really crazy about men. My ex best friend was, and shes not nigerian.Again prayer can change a lot of things in your life, so i honestly believe prayer is the key. Change your contact details, stop talking to these people, for change to happen you have to be ready to accept it. Concentrate on your future, and think of your as an independent woman.
Just ignore the rest of the comments some illiterate people have to say, a lot of Nigerians are full of crap and not considerate, dont let this affect you in anyway. And try not to slip into depression, coz thats the worse thing, suffered from it. Like i said work your way to the top girl, and seek God.
i have been through this myself. people here wont help you. you need to get professional help, speak to your GP or they are so many help lines you can call
ReplyDeleteBabe,you are simply obssessed... Go for deliverance jare and stop lookin for ppl to pity u...
ReplyDelete@ anonymous 12:55 PM pls reveal yourself you're too much..thats well said..nothing more could be added
ReplyDeleteSexual abuse at a very young age is very traumatic. in a society or culture where the victim is shamed and disgraced, the victim usually resorts to self destructing behaviours. Most times sexual assault victims grow up to be very promiscuous especially in their teen years. Oprah Winfrey had the same experience and ended up having multiple illicit affairs. My advice is pray and see a therapist.
ReplyDeletePls and pls. No one should pour insults on her. She sounds like she needs help and the only thing we can do is to give her reasonable advice. @Titi, u need to talk to a psychotherapist or somethg.
ReplyDeleteYou need to see a therapist Hun. If your family is well off then you need to go see one. Also you will never get past your problem if you don't open up to someone about it. I know it is the hardest thing ever to admit our faults but admitting it will set you free. When you open up about something, you u tie yourself from the bond that binds you to it. You open up your mind to begin the healing process. Please tell someone before it is too late. Someone that you know will help ou and not spend valuable time insulting you like some people on here.
ReplyDeleteP.S to people on here lamenting about wasting their time, I mean you sat down and read the whole thing so if you didn't like it, why didn't you tune out after the first sentence? That's like eating everything on your plate and complaining about not liking the food, you all sound like baseless sped monkey's. @ Amarachukwu, yes I'm sure you sound like a dying gorilla when you scream and probably look like one too. Dumbass
u sound really intelligent too,.,.at least ur english is sound,.,.not like dat liar dat insulted our senses claiming gp doctor for london!
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. You know sometimes its not always about the physical. I think you need Jesus Christ like never before in your life. You dont need any therapist to collect your money and tell you nonsense. Create a connection with God almighty and he will definitly open your eyes. I have seen cases like this before even worse. You are a victim of unnatural circumstance. People will not understand why you do the things you do, even you dont understand. But i do, its the demon of unusual fantasy in you that is the problem. Surrender your soul to God right now and a change will come sponteaneously. I promise you it will work, if it dosen't then call me a fool. Open your heart right now and accept Jesus as your saviour. You are saved in Jesus name, Amen.
ReplyDeleteI dont know why you guys believe all these fake Dear Linda stories.With the insult commenters heap on these people, do you think anyone will really publish their true story to be torn apart by people?
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. You know sometimes its not always about the physical. I think you need Jesus Christ like never before in your life. You dont need any therapist to collect your money and tell you nonsense. Create a connection with God almighty and he will definitly open your eyes. I have seen cases like this before even worse. You are a victim of unnatural circumstance. People will not understand why you do the things you do, even you dont understand. But i do, its the demon of unusual fantasy in you that is the problem. Surrender your soul to God right now and a change will come sponteaneously. I promise you it will work, if it dosen't then call me a fool. Open your heart right now and accept Jesus as your saviour. You are saved in Jesus name, Amen.
ReplyDeletehonestly, you need Jesus. Or a great therapist. Sorry
ReplyDeletePlz no 1 has a Right to judge dis young lady...pple find themselves doing tyns dey dnt wanna do bcos of certain circumstances..I pray she finds God nd inner peace
ReplyDeletePls,come to The Lord's Chosen Charismatic Revival Renewal Movement for serious deliverance because you are under a big curse. Pls you really need deliverance.
ReplyDeleteLindaaaaa, you're lying again..... Why is her name Titi, not Nkechi or Ngozi?
ReplyDeleteA lot of pple would judge you, encourage you and all that. But the unblemished fact is that you need to go for deliverance amongst other things
ReplyDelete1. you might have been posessed by the evil spirit of sex itself, usu known as succubus. it makes you desirable to other men for sex only, makes you a nympho even if you do not derive joy from it. Before this destroys you, come to nigeria and visit MFM monthly weekend deliverance at the prayer city. Its very close to the redemption camp. It is usually the third week of every month. While you are there, speak to women/men of god that will help you.
2. detoxify ur life : How do you dress, how do u walk, how do u put urself out there?
3. You need to be born again. genuinely born again. Everything in this life is vanity, i promise you, vanity. Accept Jesus truly, forsake the old habits, these fears, worries and burdens, drop it for Jeasu and carry His own cross.
if you need to contact me, send a mail to looneymatteu@gmail.com. dont worry abt the name. I am a girl. God be with you.
- olah
this is the 1st time i am actually commenting on this blog. as i was reading some pple`s comment i got really pissed, how could u say terrible things lik calling her ashewo afta reading the story. is dat how little ur brains are? wow it baffles me, illiterate mentality. like Jesus said let those without sins be the first to throw the stones.mcheeeew! my dear please see a shrink and pray to God for help.
ReplyDeleteDear Titi,
ReplyDeleteyou are on the right track by first acknowledging that you have a problem.
You have issues that no one on LIB can help you solve; we lack the professional training needed to offer any therapeutical solutions.
You also have to admit the faults you are making now and stop putting the blame on what happened in the past. No one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to sleep with or date older billionaires.
GET SOME HELP!!!!!!
Dear Titi, 90perc ladies went tru molestation at very tender ages including me especially those who had male relatives nd family frnds stayin ova at the house while they grew, babe trust me nw dat u knw ur prblm ur abt findin ur way. I want u to knw dat woteva ur used to wont be easy stoppin bt u mst take d step of givin ur life to Christ, feed on d word of God daily, read motivational nd inspirational books, i used to hav sex in ma past nd present r/ships bt in jst 1 day i made up my mind nt 2 indulge in fornication cz my God is against it nd iv bin doin dat for a yr, u mst flee from evry form of temptation, flee from anytin dat wil mak u fall, above all live an upright life, a life pleasin to God. God wil see u tru it al. Ma email addy incase u need to tlk. Xclusif4ril@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteAM IN DSAME PROBLEM WIT U BUT NOW DELIVERED JUST CALL ME I WILL TELL WHAT I DO 08068613860
ReplyDeleteHi TITI....I am also in your age range and a victim of sexual abuse as well.....just that in my case i hated sex so much that since the incident when i was young i havent slept with anyone.......I totally understand you ....those who would insult you are totally silly and ignorant and would never understand the effects of sexual abuse, i hope it doesnt happen to anyone in their family....as some girls even run mad due to it....this is my advice....
ReplyDelete1) I am glad you have done the first and major step, that is identifying the problem
2) yo need to give your life to christ and pray....it really helped me a lot ...knowing that i could talk to someon, even though i cnt see them
3) you are very luck you are in the UK... I am also here as well...register with your school gp and start seeing a counsellor immediately ...being able to talk to someone and finally come out of your supposed shame is very vital...YOU NEED COUNSELLING....
4)If you can tell a family member you really love and trust...maybe your mum?..it is also very helpful....
5)..like i said im kinda like you from a well to do place and everything...i finally came out to mu parents last year and trust me its has released me a lot ....
6)THE ABUSERS HAVE TAKEN 19 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE DO NOT LET THE THOUGHTS OF THE INCIDENT TORTURE YOU FOR ANOTHER MINUTE...SEEK HELP ASAP....PLEASE....IM PRAYING FOR YOU!,,
7) IT IS NOT NECESSARY THE ABUSE THAT IS AFFECTING YOU, IT IS THE SECRETTHAT YOUR KEEPING....TIME TO LET IT OUT BABEZ FREE YOURSELF.....TALK TO SOMEONE/PEOPLE YOU TRUST ...FREE YOURSELF.....
TO ALL THOSE INSULTING HER, YOU PEOPLE SHOULD BE UTTERLY ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES...SEXUAL ABUSE IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM JUST HAVING SEX WITH GUYS OR PEOPLE AT LEAST YOU MADE THE DECISION......
A SEXUAL ABUSED PERSON IS RAPED AND MOLESTED WITHOUT THEIR CHOICE ...ESPECIALLY IF YOU WERE YOUNG WHEN IT HAPPENED.....IT IS A VERY SEVERE ISSUE AND CAUSES SERIOUS DEPRESSION.......TITI IM PRAYING FOR YOU...
My dear you are not alone as I had a similar experience,the gateman at my primary school disvirgined me,because sometimes my dad would come late to pick me.
ReplyDeleteMy advice to people, pls never leave your female children with gatemen after school hour make sure your kids are picked up immidiately the school closes.
Cos I can't still say it out to my parent or anyone,then my Uncle I went to stay with for holiday after my WAEC will come to my room every night while his wife is fast asleep,I still couldn't say it out even thou he was at my wedding 2 years ago and some more.
So every one has got one story or the other it's best for you to get busy with your studies and forget about MEN
Titi, I would give you the same advice given to me. Sex Ed.
ReplyDeletei once saw a movie that was exactly like dis ur situation. Haters plz she's 4 real, it HAppens!!!!. Dearie plz see a shrink & pray .
ReplyDeleteI am Nneka,
ReplyDeleteUhhh grl,you should'nt have!what were you thinking?this is not the place for true advice. na yab all this narrow minded pipl go give you.I do hope you get help soon. try being celibate for a couple of months while you sort your head out.that way you can think without influence
All d people that called this girl ashewo,all of you that said her story shouldnt be here,d amara whatever that said she screams when having sex,the anon that wants her 4minutes back,YOU ARE FOOLS,NO CONSCIENCE.what happened to being your brother's keeper,this girl from the story is going through a lot and for someone to send her story out like this means a lot,she is frustrated.If she commits suicide(God forbid) you all will use that miserable fingers to type RIP BUT WHY.he and she-diots. God is watching you the way u are typing trash about on blogs and one day just one day that your device be it blackberry,ipad or whatever will blow u up if you don't quit this game.my prayer-this kind of situation will befall your daughters so you know how it is.oloshi gbogbo.
ReplyDeleteTiti pray very well,you need God now more than ever.he is d only one that can help.people that comment on blogs ehn,most of them are frustrated cos of what is going on in Nigeria don't let them pass d frustration to you,okay?THERAPY yes then church please u need God and serious deliverance and pls darlyn stop sleeping with those guys,every one of them,say no to them,change your phone number,move away from them. when they find you stand your ground and tell them NO,remember this guys are taking advantage of you,keep dis in your head,it will help when you are saying NO.as for the 48yr old man,hmmmmm thou shall not judge.leave him for God to deal with.You will overcome in Jesus name*hugs*
Hi Titi, I am writing you as someone who was molested at 7 years old. It was not easy, my own case was the opposite, I hated men...I am not about to talk about myself but what I will tell you is first of all commit your life to Jesus. He is the only one who can heal you. I know you have questions like why it happened to you? Ask him, cry all you can, in fact if you want to blame Him because you were an innocent girl and it happened to you and when you are through with that, ask Him to heal you, ask Him to forgive you, ask Him to restore you, ask Him to remove every filthy garment. Secondly, break the silence, that is tell your mum or a close relation about the men who molested you when you were a child. I remember it was when I was 19 I told my parents, they were hurt and almost killed the man but you know, it helped me move forward. And somehow, 12 years after the abuse I ran into the man who molested me but you see, because I had told someone about it, I had power over him somehow, it is unexplainable. I made him feel dirty and small without even saying a word to him. Break the silence whether your mum believes you or not, you will see how you will move on after that. It was God who spoke to me and gave me that solution. I have helped several ladies who had this same issue and all I told them was 'Jesus and break the silence' because the power these pedophiles have over you is your silence, which makes you feel worthless but once you break the silence, the first thing you will realize is it was not your fault and it helps you to move on. I am also so grateful that God humiliated the man who molested me in my presence, the man claims born again now, it hurts because I wanted God to give him a public show and do something terrible to him but all in all one of the things you also need to do is forgive. I do not know you but I love you already and I know God loves you and wants you to come to Him. He alone will show you the love you desire that makes you run from one man to another. He will restore your self esteem and make you a champion. Your past will be forgiven and He will give you a new life and at the end, at the right time, He will bring a man to you who will love and cherish you and protect you. It is well with you my dear. Stay well and know Jesus loves you more than you know.
ReplyDeleteWow everything about this girl applies to me.. the only diff is that i've slept with only 5 guys..
ReplyDeleteasides that, i'm 19, school in the UK, was molested (only once) and i like dating older guyz... i can feel her pain trust me! she's not doing it on purpose and yes i believe she's not doing it for the money cos it applies to me as well.. money is the last thing on my mind when i decide to date a guy
Please guys be more sensitive when replying to postings like this. The psychological impact of sexual abuse is really serious and I thank God for your life if you have not experienced it but pls don't belittle those who are dealing with it. Titi don't allow those who tried to destroy your past control your future. You are not to blame for the past. A big part of breaking negative patterns is recognising they are negative. You have taken the first and most important step. Take a break from guys altogether for a while, move away from people who are negative and make you feel bad about yourself. Avoid situations that bring about the behaviours you are beating yourself over - don't be alone with men or encourage
ReplyDeleteTiti,
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. I am a 23 year old girl and have slept with 30 guys (on the dot) for various reasons, for example, boyfriends, or older men for material reasons. I also had the problem of not being able to resist as i lost my virginity at the age of 10. It is not easy but the first thing to do is stop criticising or judging yourself. We have all lived, we all make mistakes and we all grow and learn from them. The most important thing is not letting your future be determined by what you have done in the past. My honest advice to u based on my own experience is to find something to occupy your time. The fact that I am a student (in the UK aswell) helps as I hardly have time to socialise or meet guys. I also try to discipline myself by not adding to my number, that includes sleeping with ex's when i feel the urge. It would also be nice if you could try to find a steady boyfriend around your age, and NEVER tell a guy the real amount of guys you've been with if he asks...the rule my friends and I use is: divide the number by 2 two times. I sincerely dislike when people try to relate everything to spiritual attacks, it;s got nothing to do with that, its all just a matter of the mind. We all have a mind of our own and whatever choices we decide to make are entirely up to us! Hope this helps Titi :)
I think you just need to talk to someone and then you have to face your past you obviously know what you are doing is wrong so you have to face it squarely. And read your bible diligently because there is a solution for every problem in it.
ReplyDeleteIf u cant talk to your mom see a pastor or a psychologist... And date guys your age after all you cant be in love with your father. that old guy is no good for u it has been scientifically proven that u tend to give birth to imbeciles if the father of a child is old. Babe u have your whole life ahead of you. he'd probably be dead by the time you are 40... lol and remember YOLO(you live only once)
My dear God loves you I think u should c a shrink and then go for deliverance in a living church
ReplyDeleteI'm disappointed to see condemning comments, If you have never sinned before then throw your first stone! Hey friend, it is obvious you need a restoration of life and only God can give it. You can also see a therapist as some people have suggested, but I would advise you speak with a pastor you can trust. I strong believe your story would become history, and please ignore any insulting comment! God Bless...
ReplyDeleteJust pray,seek God dependng on ur religious belief,go for prayers from religious men,while at the same time see/visit the therapists for ease of mind n changes. Trst me i ws also molested,twice!in early years when i was in primary school around 8/9 yrs!my school teachr n my family frnd did tht to me at dfrnt intrvals! I then told my mum,n she dealth wth them acordngly wthout my dad knwing!coz if he did knw the incdnt he would kill them! He is a notorious man!
ReplyDeleteWth all tht said,am not a sex slave or a relatnshp addict!am 27 nw,am still wth my frst bf fr 4 yrs nw. See,mayb its nt the fact tht u were molested!mayb its hormonal issues or demons!all in all,seek God n scintific assistnce
Anonymous
ReplyDeleteHuman biengs are just wonderful, this girl said she needs help, why abusing her omo oshi? if she didnt say it would you know of it, yet poeple like all those abusing her will do worst thing than she has. Pls beluved, dont ever mind those kind of people, for all have sin and come short of glory of the Lord, all u need do, is talk to God, make up ur mind to let go, and that is just it, all will be well with you, and u make ur family proud, u a a luvely girl i must confess, u will be fine.
Well, LIB reader's comments are cruel, so don't understand why people out themselves in situations to get more verbally abused.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you should talk to a good therapist. Being sexually abused is not a joke, and you should take it seriously to where you want to do something about it. You are on the right path by owning up, you have a problem, so the next step should be how to fix it through sessions of intense counseling and therapy.
Please,all you hypocrites that commented above,if you don't have anything positive or helpful to say,shut the hell up!
ReplyDeleteFirst Time ... LIBs No Blast .... Hahahahaha a standing Ovation for the girl ... and aunty Linda this is what i want from your blog ... not just blastxxxxxxxxxx blastxxxxxxxxxxx blastxxxxxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteTiti is so sad but one thing i want you to know is you can overcome anything disturbing you right now. just ask God to come into your life and help you. Just go for deliverance. God will help you.. will also put you in prayers.
ReplyDeleteThe solution is Seek God in your closet,fast and pray.also have it @ the back of ur mind that you will conquer the spirit that attract you to cheap sex,read inspirational books and Bible,join positive groups,volunteer in church,do merry things that will claim you from thinking back.with God you are delivered.
ReplyDeletego and c netiv doctor
ReplyDeleteMy dear! Reading this reminds me of my life! I was molested as a child too and I have found that it is a serious emotional wound dat only God can heal.forget about men for now and focus on God!he is the great healer! See oprah! Molested as a child! So successful in her career but still can't trust a man well enough to marry him. Its a serious problem! To all those calling this lady a prostitute my prayer is that ur daughters will neva be molested so u don't know how painful and life altering it can be! I have never been able to hold a relationship down! I can't trust any man! I am praying abt it,as u should be doing.the lord is your strength!you can heal this wound only if you trust him.
ReplyDeleteSmoke weed and move on. Life is too short to fuck old men
ReplyDeleteYour situation is ripe for a miracle and a turnaround Titi. All this talk about therapy is useless compared to what Jesus wants to do for you. He loves you and he died for you to free you from this sin that has you in bondage. What those people did to you was terrible and did it merely because they were under the influence of the devil. He comes to steal kill and destroy your life but Jesus came to give you life and that you may have it to the fullest. The enemy in corporation with your flesh and that of others have caused you this so much pain, guilt and condemnation. But no matter your situation, Jesus will set you free and give you a new life with new desires. He came so that he may destroy all the works of the devil in your life. If you will choose to be born again, that means to repent and live your life to God and no longer to the lusts of men. I tell you the truth, whoever commits sin is a slave to sin but he who the Son sets free shall be free indeed. John 8:34....I'd advice you to go a bible believing church and seek help from an elder in the church. But what you can do for yourself right now, is to ask Jesus to set you free so you can serve him with your life, tell him you are willing to repent and are willing to follow him. He gave himself that he might redeem us from all iniquity and purify for himself a peculiar people that zealous for good works. Titus 2:14
ReplyDeleteMy email address is jesuslovesyou7177@yahoo.com
your problem is halved solved since youve realised u av a problem. i will give u prescriptions which will save u 100%.
ReplyDelete- You need to be saved by master JESUS.
- You need deliverance so that God can remould and renew u, ur sins will be forgotten, u will begin to av self control, holy spirit will begin to lead and manage ur life.
- therefore find any living church in UK suggestion ( Vpa @ barking,Manchester or Luton, any MFM branch Especially headquarters @ Hackney wick, any Redeem church, Winners at dartford, the list is endless)
- I pray u find God and be redeemed.
My dear girl, u are not alone in this. The truth is I was once in you shoes some years back but its a different story now, I'm living a new and better life and for once I enjoy being alive and I know I have a future no matter how bad my past was.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to give you the details in public. Just believe me that its possible to change. I can tell you the steps to take but I will have to speak to u first.
If you can, send me a mail ... uche_williams@ymail.com
God bless you.
some comment make sense for here...most people dont knw where this gurl is coming from at all... i will advice u seek a sex therapist for recorvery...every thing is possible becos if obama could be president by re writting history,my dear i belive u can too...
ReplyDeleteDearest Titi,anyone that criticises u on dis issue definitely doesn't care about what you are goin thru and so don't pay any attention to them.meanwhile,since you know your problems,It is important that you make up ur mind on the what you want in life...u are still young and I bet u r very pretty.just pray to God and ask for deliverance.from there u wud gain ur self confidence and sanity.ONLY WITH GOD.God is the only one that sees the heart of his children and since u hv acknowleged your wrong,take them to God and let him do the rest.best of luck.
ReplyDelete@ Abbey, I would love to be your friend. You sound nice and understanding from ur advice to TITI. God bless you. @ Titi, lots of ladies have gone thru what υ я going through. Make up ur mind about things υ do and don't like doing and be determined to stop. Wit love. Seun
ReplyDeleteA lot of Nigerian female freaks must be really living in UK.
ReplyDeleteAdedayo/herrik, are you writing an assay? You make LIB boring. I also hope those of you using uppercase words will spare us the comments. If you are finding it hard to express yourself in writing, why comment?
Titi (imaginary Titi) you are a freak.
Titi I think you're my twin sister..I'm in a uni in the UK as well and everything u mentioned is exactly my life story. If you want to talk, email address is beautybynature2012@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteTiti
ReplyDeleteYOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO LOVE AND FORGIVE YOURSELF AND THEN LEARN TO LOVE GOD.
I KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT, BUT ONCE YOU LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOUR SELF, AND TURN TO GOD, YOU WILL FIND PEACE.
I KNOW THERE ARE PLENTY OF REDEEMED CHRISTIAN CHURCHES OF GOD IN BIRMINGHAM, PLEASE PLANT YOUR SELF IN ONE OF THEM.
TELL GOD, (HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP) ALL OF THESE THINGS, CONFIDE IN HIM, RUN INTO HIS ARMS AND HE WILL GIVE YOU SHELTER, FOR ITS ONLY IN HIM THAT WE WILL FIND PEACE.
LASTLY, IM 21..48 IS WAY WAY TOO OLD FOR YOU,PLEASE CUT IT OFF, YOUR ONLY KILLING AND DECEIVING YOUR SELF
Dear,i was once like you..if u truely want †o change ur ways,u can contact me.chislyfox@yahoo.com..it takes will power to overcome dis.i can help u go true dis..
ReplyDeleteChioma
Abbey,God bless u.....cos I know it isn't easy 4 d gal,she is just 19,u pple sayin a lot of tins,shud fink,if she is ur younger sis,wat type of advice wud u give her?.....try n say No,and u nid jesus sweet,my heart reach out 2 u...
ReplyDeleteyour story is very sad...i have seen lots off people like you..helped a girl in a similar situation..I think you need to know your self really...whats your spiritual level with God..I live in coventry close to birmingham..add me 28d4139a let me try and help you..mayb you can visit my church down in coventry..God bless you sister
ReplyDeleteThere are problems without a solution. The first step you've already addressed and its usually the most difficult. Next step is either addressing through the help you can get from other or deciding on your own to research and adhere to some very strict regimen. No one said it was going to be easy at the same time no one said it cant be done. Follow the worthy advice above and do not get distracted or forced to think lower of yourself than you've already. It only means, you are human and you can never be beyond redemption. As a starter, you must be able identify which category of people with this kind of problems you fall in, then begin from there. You must believe that you can do it, and it comes from within. Do not be afraid to take a leap where necessary and you must get to have a confidant who would help you get over this problem. You cannot do it alone. Be prayerful, positive and when in doubt ask those you trust. You must be able to stop running your friends down, cos they can help you through. Here's a link for a little understanding of what it entails. Goodluck in your quest for self respect and a solution to your heart pain. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nymphomania#_
ReplyDeleteLook for Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries in the UK. You will be surprised at the way God will take care of your situation. There's nothing too hard for Him
ReplyDeleteMy Dear Titi,
ReplyDeletePlease look for a bible believing church and give your life to Jesus Christ. He loves you and He will help you if you allow Him. He knows EVERYTHING about you.
hello dear , this might sound odd and old school to you considering that u've been away from home for a quite a while now. My advice to u : You need PRAYERS n DELIVERANCE, therapy may help but it will not solve your problem to its root. I hope u take this seroiusly, Pls retrace your step and find GOD, He will help you. GOODLUCK Dear
ReplyDeleteI know one true solution..... being in Christ. Remember, anyone in Christ is a new creature.... Old things are passed away.... hence, ure past is passed away. When u're in Christ, you live above sin, it's automatic. Try it love and get baptised in the Holy Ghost. You would be amazed. Set out tym to read the Bible.... esp the book of Romans. xxx
ReplyDeleteMy dear all what u need is a strong Man of God to deliver u from the power of darkness,nothing more-CHRISTOPHER.
ReplyDeleteTiti hi,
ReplyDeletePlease pay no attention to the ones with negative comments, it's the devil in them and ignorance aswell. I am going on 22 this year and i have a story similar to yours. I have struglled with it for long and i'm probably still struggling but the only one that has been able to help me love me, and be on a steady track in life is God. I am extra happy i found him and i have placed my whole life in His hands.And so now, he is in control. I know how tough it might be at first to submit to God but trust me He understands but be willing to cast your cares and that particular burden unto Him. I don't want to sound all churchy because i need you to know it is reality. Mine is probably not worse than yours but it disturbed me as much as it is bothering you now, but you know what many many people wuld never understand, many will judge, but God never judges. As many have said find a therapist you can talk to but preferably a good christain, like a counselor in church that you find trustworthy and reliable that would counsel you through this period, DO NOT share with friends or boyfriends, i did, and i know the humiliation i got from it, You do not want to hurt yourself anymore, trust me. Most importantly, know that your not alone in this and you have at least one person,ME praying for you too. And hunny as hard as it will be, because it will be hard..... Start with self control and talk to God as much as you can. Your 19, i want you to be happy in life. You can email me j.aniemena09@gmail.com if you need someone to talk to......
Hi kiddo. It's a pity you have had to go through shit like this. But heh, that is life. These are stuff made ready for your grand kids if Jesus tarries.
ReplyDeleteLotsa advice here. Most of them very sensible and down to earth. Oh, as for those hating and cursing, don't give them the time of day. Afterall what goes around does come around. So what am I really saying?
Am saying, get up, square your shoulders and look for the nearest church close by after you've prayed over this with God. Believe me kid, there is a peace that surpases all understanding and only God gives it. Trust me it's available for you. You can go to all the psychologists and therapists in the world and possibly get more confused than ever before cause some of them are even psychos too.
Now, don't think am suggesting you have a demon and stuff making you this way. Maybe maybe not. I wouldn't know. Am not some kinda mumbo jumbo demon hunter. I probably can't tell the difference between a demon and a ghost.
Like I said you can pick any of the myraid of good advice here particularly Menakaya Baby's. It came out sincere and practical. But above all suggestions whole heartedly seek God through Christ. Now don't raise your nose at this, it just maybe why God took you through all these so that you guys can meet. His arms are open with a big smile waiting for you to fall in. You will see your lines fall in pleasant places and you'll kiss this period in your life good bye for ever.
One more thing. Since you are into older guys you won't find it difficult connecting with God. He is the Ancient of days. He'll give you more than you get from the other guys and even better but without the sex. Grab at it now. You may not have another opportunity than now.
Titi, I just stuumbled on your strory and felt concerned. The truth is that the only one who can turn around your life for the better is Jesus Christ. See, all this stuff about dating this or that person, going out with this or that, as is in vogue today, are just Satanic ideas that tend to portray sin as just a norm, but is a big lie! If you can give your life to Jesus Christ and draw close to the word of God, I assure you that you will not only be transformed but Christ will save your soul, give you a more decent life and at the right time provide a suitable life partner for you. Give Him a chance.
ReplyDeleteI'm Eddy.
Titi,
ReplyDeletePlease get in touch with http://praisefowowe.com/
Communicating with others can be a difficult and frustrating experience, Sincerely you need a very good assistant to overcome this challenges, if you can get intouch with me, i'm a psychology doctor and counselor...we can help you by going through some theraphys.......You seem to have gotten yourself into an awful situation, and yet it seems like you have not learned your lesson, you have obviously continued to have sex with other guys, not just the first one. Your situation is very serious......
ReplyDeleteAt the absolute very least, I hope you know about practicing safe sex and using condoms. Do your parents know? if they don't, maybe you should tell them what is going on, at least they might be able to help you stop getting into situations like this.
You are right, you can't go back and change the past, but you know what, you can learn from your mistakes, and not just have sex with a guy because you think you are in love.
Dear Titi,
ReplyDeletei was once like u, i got molested too, i dont even knw if i am a virgin or not. But i met Jesus and my story changed. all u av to do girl is to seek Jesus,he is always there for u,seek deliverance. Thats all.Then u will c dt ur story will change, u will gain ur self back. If u need someone to talk wit or u want a friend,i am here to be ur friend.
email me: adenikeopeyemi@ymail.com. my name is Ope. i will be expecing ur email.
To start with,I salute your courage girl and for you to share this,your problem(s) is/are half-solved and to people out there pls if you've never walked a mile in another's shoe ,pls,pls and pls don't JUGDE!
ReplyDeleteIt might look like what's she saying,she knows where her problem is coming from(bcos she really does,she's a very intelligent young woman) why can't she just fix it and all that but believe me it is more difficult than we all can imagine.
Thanks to Adedayo and anon.May 6, 2012 12:55 PM,well said and to everyone,we all need shared love to proceed in this world we live in,let's share it!
*My story is coming!
Titi, forget about all the nasty comments. Let him who have no sin let him cast the first stone. i read a story of 2 brothers, who were molested eventually commited suicide within a year. Its that serious. I want you to know and believe there is a way out, First you need to give ur life to Jesus, then find a pastor who will carry out a deliverance prayer for you. And then you will need to be discipled. A shrink might help for a while but Its Jesus that takes it all out and makes you into a new person. the bible says, Jn 10vs10. The devil comes not but to steal to kill and to destroy but Jesus has come to give you life and life in abundance. Your life can be turned around. Jesus took all that you have had to go through, you need to give all that load that you are carrying to him. Matt. 11;28 says come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and i will give you rest. Please, find a bible believing church, and seek for help. And for those who have been throwing stones, remember, those who live in glass houses should not throw stones. Titi God loves you, just the way you are, believe me He does. You dont have to do or pay anything, just trust Him and call out. He will hear and answer.
ReplyDeleteHello Titi. Mail soniadavis89@ymail.com I can take u 2 my Redeemed pastor, God delivered me through him.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI too was molested sexually as a child but i survived by His Grace. If you do get to read this then there are 2 things i hope you take away from here:
1) your problem isn't spiritual. Ignore any comment that tries to make your problem spiritual or a church matter. I do agree that you and i, as well as all others need Christ in our lives. But I believe we have dominion over our lives as well as our destiny. You and only you have the power to solve this. What you need is the will. I am not a psychologist but i think you have this desire to get the attention of men older than you are. To get this attention you are willing to do almost anything they ask of you. You look up to them at the expense of younger guys just as you did while you were much younger. Its all as a result of your childhood experiences. You have to develope the right will power to fight your way out of it. Therapy could help you with this. I believe all i have said won't sound strange to you.
2)You don't need to please everybody or anybody. Believe in yourself and your abilities. You are great and can achieve a whole lot more than you have already if you can believe you are queen over your life. You don't need anybody's attention to make you feel good about yourself. In my case I probably took this too far but I am better off now for it. I also surrounded myself with good friends and we shared a common goal to excel in life. We are all quite young but we have achieved a whole lot already and we intend to do much more. Do not be shy or feel inferior cos of your problems, if no one wants to come close to you cos of it then you are better off without them.
I am a guy, and yes even guys get molested by women. I grew up being attracted to older ladies and looked down on younger ladies. Till date I still don't understand the fascination older ladies have for me but I thank God I am in control of my desires and feelings now. You too can regain control.
Dear Titi, you are a very brave girl and I'am sure a lot of the positive advice here will help you however please be careful with contacting people leaving their email and such. I wouldn't want anyone else to take advantage of you and unfortunately we always have vultures on the prowl. The Lord is your strenght
ReplyDeleteSome people are just evil! Because this chic comes clean to tell her story to get help, you then crucify her, right? Calling her names! He/she who has no sin should cast the first stone at her! Mschewww...
ReplyDeleteMy dear writer, seek Godly counsel and break away from this habit. There's nothing impossible with God and trust Him to wash you clean and make you whole again. Bless you dear!
one advice, talk to someone, and not a forum or blog site. talk to some one you trust. so they can observe u .
ReplyDeleteHey titi, i dont know if you are still reading these comments. I would advice you to listen to Godly counsel over everything else. I see that at least now there are over 180 of them for you to read, so many different counsels. The bible says in the multitude of counsel there is wisdom, and the wisdom of God is Jesus Christ. Take the word of God over every counsel that tells you what you have gone through isn't spiritual. I can tell you that the reason why those 13 different men repeatedly molested you and the reason why your friends boyfriends keep getting attracted to you is spiritual. All of this happened to you because Satan hates you and wants to completely destroy and embarrass you like he did Job. But still God's love is greater, as it conquers all and that love of God is found in Jesus. Only Jesus has a name that is above all other names, trust him. He will set you free. Immerse yourself in the word of God, its how God speaks to all of us. I commented earlier on at 8:09...my email address again is jesuslovesyou7177@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteEbi like say when they say all that glitters is not gold, nay Niaja ladies them carry for mind oh! Ah na wa oh, almost every lady commenting have the same experiece of Titi. People always give excuse why they do certain things. What happens to the power of will? Is this our own concept of modernization? "When I was a child," "when I was a child," blah, blah, blah. Give me a break! If you go have sex, its because you want to have sex - cut all these flimsy excuses: when I was a child, when I was a child.
ReplyDeleteFor those of you using this opportunity to advertise Mountain of Fire, I say kiss my foot.