Sunday Morning laughter... | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Sunday, 22 February 2015

Sunday Morning laughter...

Oya laugh small jare...lol. (not written by me...it's a joke)
I was driving down a street along Alausa, having just finished answering a call, when a policeman, suddenly, opened the passenger door, entered and jam-locked it.
(The door lock is faulty)
As usual, he wanted 'something' from me for calling while driving...
Suddenly, he saw the big Rothweiller dog, Jackie, at the back seat of the car, with tongue stuck out, spittle dripping and fangs barring, staring fiercely at him.

Policeman: (Shaking)
Ah! You carry dog?

Me: (I bone face) Yes, I carry dog. Dat one na offense?

Policeman: (Feeling uncomfortable)
Na where una dey come from?

Me: From hospital.

Policeman: Ehen! you sick?

Me: No, na person wey the dog bite we go see. The person almost die sef.

Policeman: (Terribly shaken by now)
Ehen! But why the dog dey shake head like that?

Me: Na so im dey do if e wan bite person.

Policeman: The dog know you?

Me: Yes nah, no be my dog?

Policeman: (Sweating)
This your door, how you dey open am?

Me: How you take enter?

Policeman: Abeg! Na since I dey try open am, but e no open.
(The dog was now getting impatient and gave a small growl, its tongue almost touching the policeman's left ear).

Policeman: (Now sliding forward)Oga, I take God beg you, open the door for me make I comot. I no go collect anythin from you.

Me: How much you go pay me?

Policeman: Ah! I neva hustle anythin since morning. Na only N1,000 dey wit me.

Me: You neva ready.
(I looked back at the dog).

Policeman: Ok ok ok ok ok, e reach N2,000. The oda N1,000 na my wife own, but I go give you join.
(Now, close to tears as the dog was becoming really impatient)
Oga, I be......g, Oga, sorry. Take the N2,000 make you open the door plssssssse!

Me: Oya, bring am. (I collected the N2,000 & allowed him out of the car)

Policeman: God punish you. Idiot, e no go ever better for you and your yeye dog. Wicked man!!!
😃😀😀😀. Pass it ahead, don't laugh alone.

222 comments:

1 – 200 of 222   Newer›   Newest»
Unknown said...

Buhahahahahhaahaaha gej till 2019

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

Ovoko voko voko voko...lmfao

AbokiDaWarriBoy said...

Ovoko voko voko voko...lmfao

Anonymous said...

Itz an old one linda,,, i'll send u more

SANDRA said...

Hehehhehe good 4 him

Anonymous said...

Super stale!

Anonymous said...

Linda lacks stories. I read it on laila's blog.

Linda gone lazy.

Unknown said...

Dry

Unknown said...

Old joke

adesuwa said...

hahaha

Unknown said...

Lol...funi

KayMaths said...

Hehehehehe.....

Dave Mide said...

Lol ...watched the comedy skit on youtube tho.

Unknown said...

LOL make i jus laff
*
*
*
#LIBBOO

Unknown said...

lmao... Smart policeman. who is the mugu now..... Linda go church

Unknown said...

Lolsssss! Happy sunday

Unknown said...

Stale joke but still make me smile.... good morning libers.

Hfr said...

Funny but I forgot to laugh because I've heard the joke before.No be Ur own as claimed......

Unknown said...

Stale but very funny though

Hfr said...

Funny but I forgot to laugh because I've heard the joke before.No be Ur own as claimed......

Anonymous said...

very lovely, we need more of this.

Judeocracy said...

Hehehehehe! Lilly u funny ooo! U for be Basket mouth partner naa..



Only say the joke stale sha.


Freddie said...

Buhahaha

Unknown said...

Hahahaha....lwkmd

Unknown said...

Ahahahahahahah!!!

Unknown said...

Nice one.



OKORO UPGRADED**

Unknown said...

Hahaha hahaha... Naija police, Good for him

seunLondon said...

Funny :) but I read it before. Sunday morning hotness pls, thank you. #SeunLondon

Unknown said...

Very interesting

Unknown said...

My ribs are aching seriously from laffing hard. Na wetin fit our policemen be dat. Lol! Linda take note!

Unknown said...

My ribs are aching seriously from laffing hard. Na wetin fit our policemen be dat. Lol! Linda take note!

Unknown said...

My ribs are aching seriously from laffing hard. Na wetin fit our policemen be dat. Lol! Linda take note!

Anonymous said...

Heheheeeee

Carina Kikelomo Jacob said...

Old joke. *straight face*

Unknown said...

Hahahahahaha

Unknown said...

Linda tnx u made me lol

Unknown said...

LOL!!!

Mesky Da ImoFirstSon said...

Linda is dis ur first time of seeing ds joke? Old joke..But it stil made me smile small

Unknown said...

Just had my 1st laugh 2daY mehn dz's funnY sha

Unknown said...

Oh! I forgot to laugh.

Anonymous said...

Funny. Abeg no kill me o. Lwkmd
















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Unknown said...

Lmfao.#Epic#THAT AKWA IBOM BOY#

chloe said...

Lol.....

Anonymous said...

U don kill me with laugh here ooooooo yeeeeee

Anonymous said...

VEry funny.laugh it out pls

Unknown said...

Hahaha na wetin fit them .

Unknown said...

Lmao

Unknown said...

Na old joke naaa,

Unknown said...

Lol...this joke has been around for a while, nice one still,at least i grinned

Unknown said...

Really funny, he should have collected more from the policeman. Naija police sha!!!

Unknown said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Wow jst felt beta ds mornin. LOL.

COLLIN said...

Nawa o...aunty linda I read this last 2years naww

Unknown said...

Hahahahahaha! Lin Lin my love u no go church? Dey here de crack my ribs

Unknown said...

lol...the police man don jam wetin pass am

::::::::::::::::QUEENMAYA:::::::::::::::

Anonymous said...

hmmmm!

Unknown said...

Hilarious

Anonymous said...

Lol, this is the best joke I have read in a long time!

As in, you collected money from a Nigerian Police officer? This is hilarious.

I need to get me a dog for some runz that that i think police might want to interfere.

#Saijonathan

Unknown said...

Heheheheheheheheh

BONARIO NNAGS said...

Hehehe, nice one.

~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

Unknown said...

Funny linda, atleast may police Still pay dis time around

Unknown said...

This is so funny walahi! #BrownSugar

Unknown said...

Lmaooooooooooooooo haaaahaaaa serves him right

Anonymous said...

So wish dis happened 4 real! Lolllll

Unknown said...

I LAUGHED UNTIL I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES...

Unknown said...

Very very old joke Linda. But never fails to crack my ribs each time I read it!

Unknown said...

Laughing with tears lol

Humphrey said...

Hmmmmmmm really not funny

Anonymous said...

Old joke

Unknown said...

this joke don old

Amablaze said...

Funny small sha..cos I go die or basket mouth don crack d sweeter version of it..nice try dou

Rubylicious said...

It has been recycled one too many times.

Rubylicious said...

It has been recycled one too many times.

Anonymous said...

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha lmfao
xyz(dara-ima/aittyfinest)

Unknown said...

Hahaha.... This joke worth sharing with friends.

Unknown said...

Hahaha... This joke worth sharing with friends.

Bold Kid said...

LMAO! That's guy's the real MVP!

lharahs said...

See me see laughter ooo. I like that dog. Lol

Unknown said...

Nice one, loooooooool

Anonymous said...

Fake dry story!

Unknown said...

Linda this is old joke Na...haba!!!

Unknown said...

Makeup services n trainings at bimp n bell makeup school add-2AE59C62

Unknown said...

Naija police and money..lol

Unknown said...

Mscheeew...dry joke. Not funny!

Anonymous said...

LOL

Manuel Kunmi said...

Loooool

Malaysiame said...

Hahahaha hahahaha very funny,

Unknown said...

Funny but stale.

AMMY said...

Linda,ds is stale. Well im nt suprised,na ur way. Anyways it cracked me up wn read d joke d first time.

QUEERNAIJA said...

Am going to buy a dog ASAP

Anonymous said...

One chance!!!

Unknown said...

Lmao! Really hilarious. The dog for chop em left ear comot sef

Anonymous said...

hahahahahaha......omg i cant handle dis....hehehehehe

Anonymous said...

lol... so afraid? so shameful...

Anonymous said...

Lindodo na old joke joor, originally done by I go dye.

Unknown said...

Lindooo u go kill personooo! Amamu n'obu gi mere ihe di otua becos u luv money pass urselF. Lolo1

Unknown said...

See? The driver has collected bribe. Text Fortune to 33020.

Anonymous said...

I can't stop laughing !! Choiiiii

Anonymous said...

NOT FUNNY!

Ethel said...

Hahahahhahahahahah oga policeman ur prayer nor go catch da man ooooo bcuz na wayo money wey u nor suffer for u use save urself.

Anonymous said...

NOT FUNNY

Anonymous said...

NOT FUNNY LINDA

Unknown said...

Hahaha..The policeman will look very well b4 entering another car

Unknown said...

Lmao OMG just woke up this morning and read this everyone thought I've gone mad Been laffin for more than 10mins. Nigerian police won't kill us with their greed...

Ayodele Jay said...

Lmaoo....hilarious

Unknown said...

LOL



#Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE

Unknown said...

Old dry joke

Anonymous said...

Linda this joke is extremely stale

Unknown said...

Laugh want kill me here o. Seriously in tears here in the name of laughter.





Busy Fingers.

Unknown said...

Joke was Said by I go dye in 2010!

Anonymous said...

Very stale. Shior

Anonymous said...

LMFAO

Unknown said...

LooooooL......................... *thamixbreed*

Unknown said...

lol, that man is from ABA.
$.
$.
@Carlos via Nokia Lumia

Unknown said...

ehehehhehehe i no fit laugh oo

Unknown said...

This is an old joke but it is still hilarious anytime, anyday.

uwa said...

HahHahahahahaha...hahahahahahaha...hahahahahahahahahahahaha !!!
Chai! , chei!, I don't know what say !
There's. God o !
Hahahahahaha ...Naija best comedy movie should bow down like a bitch to this script .
Linda and the producer, una thank you .
I wonder what oga will tell madam when she ask for her 1k ?
Bros , don't leave your house without the dog because he will be waiting for you o !

Anonymous said...

Lol

Kponskii said...

Lol! Ok. I've heard this one before and it still cracks me up.

Anonymous said...

Linlin this joke is so 1960 but still funny sha

Onyx's Girlfriend (he isn't gay pls) said...

Linda dis is no new joke now, #happysunday

Anonymous said...

Linlin this joke is so 1960 but still funny sha. You try

Anonymous said...

This is a stale joke now.
Is this not the episode (one chance) of officer titus by ndani tv on youtube.
link below:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmI06Im4Y_A

Anonymous said...

Very stale!

Where have you been?

Unknown said...

Funny but isn't a new joke dou

edith said...

Can't stop laughing...

Anonymous said...

Seen it sinceeeee. Old joke but funny.

edith said...

Can't stop laughing

Efemena Sowho said...

LOOL

Unknown said...

Lol

NaijaDeltaBabe said...

Lol...I don see am before tho

Sylvonce said...

Lol

becckyd said...

Funny.....lol

Unknown said...

Na wilDeji be this, I can tell!

Unknown said...

Old joke tho, but still gat me lafin

Anonymous said...

That dog will sure receive a treat

Anonymous said...

Haaahaaaa!!!! folish police....
Lin Lin....this is a start up i think you should support.....just saying.

im doing this for a friend of mine,pleassss surprise her by supporting her,CNN alredy interviewed her this is a link to her interview http://cnn.it/1zNHOI2?fb_ref=Default

Cheers!!!!

heytheredelilah said...

Hilarious!!!!

Skipper25 said...

Hahahaha. ..nice one Linda. .

ary said...

LMAO. Ali baba told this joke long ago but it is still funny as hell.

Unknown said...

LWKMD.....

Unknown said...

LWKMD.....

Truetalk said...

The person that posted this copied it from that lastma funny video of Officer Titus. It's shown on ONTV. People sef.

sky said...

lwkmd!!!

Unknown said...

Hahahahahahaha! Abeg Linda no kill me with laff *ROTFL*

Anonymous said...

Hhahahahaha! A dose of their own medicine.

Unknown said...

Linda this is an old joke now
Not funny again

Anonymous said...

rotfl!!! e gud 4 am. *bela*

Unknown said...

Gud 4 him

Unknown said...

Dis is a old joke oo Linda,reason y I couldn't laugh..

Mikolo said...

Linda what kind of stale joke is this? this joke was written in the 19th Century... so dry and old. mtchewwww

Unknown said...

Lol!!!!!! Lol!!!!!! Lmfao

AMIJEZ said...

Linda,i don hear this joke since 1960.

Americannah said...

Linda linda this joke don tey na. Chai! We av yu been?. Still made me laugh though. *thumbsup*

Unknown said...

Yeye ppl they deserve more than dat, abeg laugh wan kill me here!

Anonymous said...

When the hunter becomes the hunted......hilarious

Jerry Banks said...

Good for the Ekelebe man. him for stay make the Dog finish him. Lol....

............Funny Nigerian POLICE and their habit of collecting money from Civilians.............

............Great Lesson to Him.......

obiora said...

Lololololol

Anonymous said...

Yea kind of funny, the wirter try small

joystickextender@gmail.com said...

Loolz

Meanwhile email me to know how to enlarge your joystick and stop premature ejac n let your woman respect you

Tee said...

Try and bring in more of this on sundays... LMAOOO

ogeey said...

Omg my bellle wan burst here o.....lindy babe u do well dis morning oooo

Unknown said...

Lolz lindodo i no fit laff ooo

Unknown said...

Good for NPF. I wish you collect him ID card join so that him go bring balance come collect am

Unknown said...

Funny joke but old

Miss Ferragamo said...

Lmao.... na wetin fit those police men

Unknown said...

Hahaha

Doyeen Aliyu said...

Lwkmd......

Juleslouis said...

Lmao. Suits all these crooks that call themselves policemen. Hahahaha

Unknown said...

Linda, dat is an interesting story ooooh,

Unknown said...

Lolzzz

@Osirmah said...

*Yawns*.....

FF on IG n twitter @Osirmah

Unknown said...

Linda u sef, na old joke u dey carry give us, see how u paint d gist as if u been really dey there when d tin b happen. I heard this joke since 2years ago. Pls forward ever and backward never.

@Osirmah said...

*yawns*.......pls Linda wen it's time to laugh pls wake me up *Snores *.lol

FF on IG n Twitter @Osirmah

Unknown said...

Loool....

Anonymous said...

Lol.. Very funny.. Lmao

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Anonymous said...

Lol.. Very funny.. Lmao

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Kulikuli said...

Lol for real this morning! Nigeria is somehow, but na we own. We love am; especially for stuff like this. And for all the young men in uniform like Uchenna just dying due to the wickedness of some monsters mistaken for men. They are dying to keep us safe, that we may crack jokes, and laugh. Let us just be nice to the next soldier, any soldier we see. Nice Sunday everyone.

Unknown said...

Old joke!

Unknown said...

u see he be wan chop u but u don finally chop am.yeye

Lawani frank said...

Lol... Nigeria police una 2 funny oh.. LWKMD

Unknown said...

LMAO!!!!

zoey289 said...

very funny,its so good to give dis pple a little dose of their own medicine....:x

Unknown said...

hehehehehe

Unknown said...

Linda u no kill person with laugh

felicious said...

Funny but it's originally from the comedian I Go Die

Anonymous said...

Hahaha jk hahham km!!! Police 👮 dey fear 😱 dog 🐶.

chy beke said...

Really funny!

Usman said...

Lmaoooo...nigeria police men

Usman said...

Lmaooo...Nigerian police

Anonymous said...

Old n dry

Anonymous said...

U want 2 do sunday laugh like stella dimoko abi? U don lick celebrities ass finish? Na who no know u ..

Unknown said...

Hilarious, but dis material was stolen from " I go die"

mimosa said...

So funny... good for the policeman

Unknown said...

She just said she is nt the writer!abi u nor sabi read?

Unknown said...

*ROTFL*

Unknown said...

*ROTFL*

Unknown said...

Hehehehehehehhe. U don spoy ekelebe hustle abi?

Unknown said...

Hahahaha...

LIB last born... said...

Stale joke

Subomi said...

funny

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