From a male LIB reader
Its unfortunate I have to share my intimate secrets with total strangers on this forum but this bothers me a lot. My wife and I have been married for 4 years but its all the same.
Sexually
my wife is too uptight. I have tried all I could to liberalize her mind
concerning sex, but to no avail. Here are some issues I have with my
wife's sexual inhibition. She does not think a woman should initiate sex and she doesn't.
We have only had sex in the bedroom because she wont get turned on if I try another place. We only do missionary style as she is reluctant to learn new skills and doggy to her is somehow animalistic.
We cant have sex if we are in mine or my parents house. We cant have sex if any of her siblings of mine are around she doesn't want them to hear her moan.
We only have sex on weekends as she get tired after work.
We have never had quickie. like sex after she is fully dressed for occasion.. for where.
I asked her if she had any sexual fantasies she replied NO
She doesn't shave her pubic hair. No sex with lights on
Blow Job? my D can not even touch boobs talk less of her mouth. Neither does she allow me to go down on her
The
issue is I am not faithful to her. I have slept with numerous babes
after our marriage. I kept using her sexual up-tightness as excuse to
cheat. Now I want to change but my wife too must change.
Some advised counseling, others advocate porn to dis-inhibit her mind.
Pls
Libers how do I turn my wife to a freak in bed. I have discussed with her
many times with promise to change but still the same.
295 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 295 of 295It's not because of notice joor , it's a mistake...happens some times
Too bad but try and accomodate the situation,with time she will have a reason to change.
Exactly 👍
Same with my husband o! I practically have to beg him for sex....its so sad. I used to be the 'wild one' as a spinster....now he's turned me into what I can't even explain. Moreover, sex with him isn't even as good as I envisioned it cos we didn't have pre-marital sex. Even with that, he still denies me my right....i don't even know what to do....its 8 months now and no sex....i'm practically going insane! I need help oooo, before I do something he won't like!
when a woman is stressed taking care of the home, going out to work, taking public transport or driving, worrying about finances etc..libido goes down. When sex becomes a chore and not enjoyable she will look for every excuse to avoid sex. You need to take her away from the environment that gives her all these inhibitions for a while. When last did you plan a holiday with her alone? When last did you travel to another location for a wedding and decide to sleep in a hotel for one or two days?These are all things that can help.
Try to create a new environment for her. There is no satisfaction in infidelity as you have found out. You need to face this issue like a man and conquer it.
Vote APC! Lol!
To start with dey most probably didn't do b4 marriage and she is using the fact she doesn't like sex to punish an innocent man
Yeparipa! Stanley have been caught!
Bb me on: SEVEN,B,ZERO,ZERO,TWO,NINE,EIGHT,NINE.
Eniola...you represent the very true meaning of "DUMB"...
Chai,its not everybody dat enjoy Sex but u still ave to talk to her in a way she will listen cos u may not b talkn to her d way she wants on d matter.Another thing very stupid of u chasing girls around cos ur wife doesn't satisfy u,u be Sex freak? Oga ooo she's ur wife so shape her to ur taste.
Come this destinysweet , your own is just to stay there and and complain , pls Go and sleep
No sex with lights on
THEN LIKE THE G.O OF MFM SAID:
1 - EITHER SHE HAS A SPIRIT HUSBAND THAT SHOWS UP IF THE LIGHTS ARE ON OR
2 - SHE IS AFRAID THE BABIES WILL END UP LOOKING LIKE ALBINO!!!!
CHIKENA - LOL!!!
Poster let me give u an advice because your wife and I share the same sex life style. Please don't go outside again because you might be infected with HIV AIDs. All these inhibitions you listed above is her nature and her brain has already conditioned to that due to her upbringing, and sexual orientation she got while growing up. She wants you to turn off the light because she is shy and will not want you to look at her face while making love, she just want to be free. The reason she doesn't want to make love while visitors are around is because she thinks they might be listening to her moan, she just want to be free. She prefers weekends because she is tired and weak, if you force her she might be irritable. Freak on bed? she has not practice them, and might think it is not the way God made it. At least she moans, which means she enjoys it when you prepares her well. Everybody is not the same, our faces are different, so our bodies. Myself I don't do quicky,especially,if i ve already dressed up, cooking, washing clothes, or just back from somewhere; I will be irritable if hubby ask for it that time because i am not in the mood. Women in this category want their hubby to be patient with them, and get us in the mood. Hubbys should not acts as if we are running away. The solution is to study her body and mood, know when to strike, help her when and where necessary to alleviate stress that might mess her mood.let her know upfront, and that will put her in the mood, get a little wine during dinner to relax her, and let her know that a little cup of wine is good for her even health wise. Work on yourself too!!! and try remove your mind on sex.Get busy with your bible, and channel the thought of sex into some things profitable. Every woman is not the same. Hope this help.
My advice: A leopard cannot change its spots no matter how heavy the rain chooses to fall. So you married a frigid. Did you date her and investigate yourselves sexually before marriage or was given to you as a free gift with voucher...?
Stop having sex with her completely. Never initiate, never talk about it, never complain. Let her starve a bit. Let her be the one to beg, no matter how long it takes... even if five years.
Keep yourself busy outside, discreetly during this time. Lagos State allows a man to marry two wives oh. You don't have to limit yourself to one type of sexual preference. You can't be challenged for getting legal sex from a second wife. If you love her, you will not try changing who she is or forcing what she doesn't like upon her. If she loves you too, she will also try and be understanding, permitting you to derive your satisfaction in areas she cannot provide.
If after all this your relationship fails, y'all were never meant to be together.
Cheers.
Mr. NoWahala
Aaaawww... :-(
73CF2E3D
Teacher, may God bless you for this response!! Some men are just so selfish and all they can think about is their needs. Not even caring about what got the woman to be that way to start with. Using different excuses to cheat and then blaming it on the wife as if we don't know several men who's wives do all that and more to spice up the bedroom but yet the husbands still cheat
How about working with her to find out exactly why she's like that? Did she get abused growing up? Is it a medical condition? low sex drive? Is it a sexual orientation thing etc? Can't he be a support system for her in case she's going through things instead of making excuses to run out and cheat? At least he married her, didn't he? Nigerian men are the only ones I know who at the slightest chance of difficulty in their family lives, the run outside to cheat and then blame it on their wives for pushing them out instead of looking into the situation, staying at home and trying to figure out why the problem is happening. If it were to be the husband withholding sex from the wife and even blatantly cheating on her, everybody would be saying things like "just continue to pray for him" "continue to show him more love" etc. why are men not held to that standard too or at least try to figure out what their wive's problems are whenever they feel they are not satisfying them the way they would like? Marriage is for better or worse, isn't it?
Are you advising rape?! Are you ok at all?!!!
PUT CHINESE FLY IN HER DRINK SOMETIMES...
Easy. Smh
Its gonna take a looooooooooooooong time. She'll change/ I married one... but a lot of conditions need to change. Like the job stress from work and kids alone can make some women like that. And maybe you are just boring yourself. Or maybe she already caught you cheating and didn't want to confront you. Maybe you are the problem thats if she changed if she was doing everything you wanted. Mine changed when she noticed I wasn't even asking anymore. She new there was fire on the mountain codedly. And started initiating it ... was surprised she started asking if I have problems myself ... and why I haven't bothered her for a while. I no even look her side. So she already started imagining that i was getting the shit from out there. I was getting it though. Getting heavy dose out there so just go home and sleep.
Den keep cheating.......
Heheheheheheh
hmmmmmmmm
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www.udokajane.blogspot.com
Well! Your best and only bet is counselling and good getaway romance, and she would come around. You'll be amazed. Also, it seems you like sharp sharp things too much.
Thing is you were too busy sleeping around with other chicks when you were dating so you took these signs lightly and thought you were marrying one "Mary Amaka" that you would train to your spec cos you didn't want to marry a girl that had been used the way you were using others. Wake up guy, you can't eat your cake and have it.
You can reach me on 08168640934..........you will have the best experience
Marry your kind, you wont hear, youre a ruffian yet u wanted a saint for a wife. You got served brother. You would have left that girl for our church brothers. Rather than go and damage her pure mind.
Through that destiny. I guess that's the case here.
You must be a godly counselor. I hope this helps the man.
Try make her understand that if she did not open up u will cheat on her, give her reasons u married her for, i pray she will understand
Well said. You make lots of sense
Best comment! I hope he's reading.
2BB5E523
U be mumu ooo wat has bin Muslim got 2 do wif dis? So nah deeper life dey fuck prick well abi?
@nkechi...u really are a clown....hmmmm...what an advise...tie her wiv rope...chaaaiii
Hmmmmm....words....orooo
oga,its well but know that u are reaping wat u have sowed long b4 now u did not tell us the beginning u are only tell us now probaly u neglected her when u got married and now that shes no more interested u want her to be in the mode.just be patient ask for mercy and work on ur relationship with her.
Hahahahahahhahaahahhaahhaha.@tie her with rope
Please. The like and unlike button is a very great idea
I have a solution for you, is not going to be easy but at least it may help. Stop seeing her as your wife start seeing her as ur girlfriend, am treat her for the mean time as just a friend. This will restructure her mentality and she loosen the idea of marriage. She sees marriage as a holy matrimony where sex should be respected and sacred. Take her out on date, loosen much of a family discussion, bring up more of youthful discussions, try massaging her back, often bath together with her and more importantly help her in some family choirs that way it will relieve her of some task and thereby creating more time for rounds of passionate sex. I hope this helps.
I have a solution for you, is not going to be easy but at least it may help. Stop seeing her as your wife start seeing her as ur girlfriend, am treat her for the mean time as just a friend. This will restructure her mentality and she loosen the idea of marriage. She sees marriage as a holy matrimony where sex should be respected and sacred. Take her out on date, loosen much of a family discussion, bring up more of youthful discussions, try massaging her back, often bath together with her and more importantly help her in some family choirs that way it will relieve her of some task and thereby creating more time for rounds of passionate sex. I hope this helps.
I have a solution for you, is not going to be easy but at least it may help. Stop seeing her as your wife start seeing her as ur girlfriend, am treat her for the mean time as just a friend. This will restructure her mentality and she loosen the idea of marriage. She sees marriage as a holy matrimony where sex should be respected and sacred. Take her out on date, loosen much of a family discussion, bring up more of youthful discussions, try massaging her back, often bath together with her and more importantly help her in some family choirs that way it will relieve her of some task and thereby creating more time for rounds of passionate sex. I hope this helps.
Oga na ur CROSS be that i will advice u to Carry it may God help u sir.
In between the rock and a hard surface ........ my guy you are on a long thing. You both need to see a sex therapist, not you per say but your wife, going with her would serve as a form of support. It is well with you
counselling for the two of you all the way.
trust it will surely work.
Speechless
She is tired after work? Do you work? Are you not tired too after work?
I hope your wife is not working herself to death to take care of you and you are here complaining about sex.
Bottomline is if a woman is happy nothing stops her from nacking anywhere and anyhow, my advice to you is to be romantic, win her over emotionally, take her on a romantic trip then come back to share the testimony. hehehehe
Hey shut up there!!! You did this to yourself!! I'm not giving you advise and I have some good advise, trust me! But, you caused this. One of two things. Either you were stupid enough to not have slept with her before marriage OR you knew all along that she was like this yet you married her anyway thinking she would change or you thought sex isn't important in a marriage! But guess what, it is iomportant! Darling Linda, next!
meet a psychotherapist who is an expert in sexually issue
You should talk to someone she respects most (a woman) that you know shes not sexually rigid. That person would help talk to her. She will appreciate it more if the correction is coming from someone she respects and submits too.
Even if your husband sleeps around that doesn't mean you should think of doing it as well, ..dont even joke about it **save your home and don't add salt to injuries **
#abbytohxoft
Nice 1, teacher u have said it all
#abbytohxoft
Change is the only thing that changes, i recommend dat u change first, secondly engage ur wife to know the real problem and then help her outgrow her difficulties. buy books on the subject of sex and share ur fantasy with her be romantic too. xoxxo
Dear Poster,
Your wife fits the profile of someone who was abused as a child by someone she trusted. She also sounds like she had extremely strict parents who told her that good girls don't have sex.
Upbringing and experiences like that can leave a deep lasting scar on the mind. She now thinks that sex is dirty and respectable people don't experiment with sexual ideas. She does have fantasies, but in most of her fantasies, she is probably getting raped or she is watching other women get raped and she enjoys these fantasies.
I suggest that you talk to her about the kind of expereiences she had in the past before she met you. what she thinks about sex and WHY she thinks those things..You can attempt to disabuse those notions if she shares them with you. But she will need to trust you and know that you aren't doing this because you just want your selfish desires fulfilled. You must sincerely desire change in her because you love her and you want her to enjoy sex as much as you do..If that doesn't work much, Please call this number..You may want to be counselled by this person. He has a calling to rescue marriages ground in erroneous beliefs..0805568711
Contact me on id4goodness@gmail.com tell talk, my advice can help. I have seen alot of her type before.
There are so many reasons why things are like this...
Was she a virgin when you guys started off.. If yes, you will have to sexually orientate her and that will make her give in over time and on the other hand if she wasn't then there's a problem that you have to discover and resolve
Best advice so far,u cheating on her will not solve d problem,i guess u dated b4 marriage,talk to her abt d sex stuff.maybe she had wrong notion abt it wen growing up.u have to be patience she is ur wife,for better for worst oooo all d best
abstain from sex wit her for a while, as in dont initiate sex, dnt talk about sex. wen u get to bed just sleep, wit time she be d one tryin to initiate it and tryin to please u if she truly love u.
Try and get her drunk b4 sex, she'll obey your every command
Drama and she's not willing to try later she would blame the devil or the witches in her village for destroying her marriage. Ok oga take heart God dey pray for her
My friend, it actually starts with you. Obviously, you are condescending to her own drive and not asserting yours. It's going to be a slow process to evolve her but start with the bedroom basics. Never sleep with your clothes on, walk into the bathroom while she's having her bath, play with your manhood playfully for no reason in front of her, jokingly tell her all the time "your thing". The essence of all these is to breakdown this thin coated resistance to expression. Then start doing the unexpected, tapping her ass when people are around but not watching...obviously she'll be shy and angry but your response to whatever her response is should be "my thing". You have to painstakingly work on the psyche to make her realise that as couples, there is no limit to the depths you can go in sexual pleasures and when she sees how wild you want to get, she'll have to adjust, then you can start making demands; the little ones first. Offer to shave the hair "because it bruises you when you have sex", then ask for dim lights to be installed, then slowly, other demands. Truly, I think you just have to learn to make her more comfortable. It's a slow process but talking won't cut it, taking the "Obrijolor" by the hand will.
In simple terms, Your wife does not love you. Maybe she was forced into the marriage.
My dear bro, thanks for seeking people opinions, your wife was brought up in a Godly environment with disciplined parents but at he same time, you have one particular attitude which your wife dont like because samething happen to one of my friend. kindly move closer to her pet her always carry her along and ask if you've done anything wrong to her, she will change beyond your imagination and make sure you take your bath together, you eat together e.t.c buy blue film watch it together and always tell her that you love her b4 you know it she will be the one to initiate sex and will be missing you when you are not arround.
There is no way I will marry you if you cant shake my world in bed lol
Stop having sex with her.... Nobody will force her before she changes.... I pity some marriages sha
You need to get to know your wife and I mean really get to know her, cos there's something she hasn't told you probably a very bad experience when she was a child, it could be hers or someone close to her. And when you listen to her do so like a friend and I pray you both can help her overcome her demons, good luck
All these comments are so hillarious...people realyy have bad mouths here oo...the man has been involved in so many kinds of sexual activities thats why he expects his wife to be as slotfull as he his...forgetting she is not one of those girls. Teach her gradually to take hygeine seriously but dont force her to be a dog...cos it will end badly.
U sure ur wife is not a lesbian!!! Especially all this PH chronic married lesbians Example medlinboss nd Co
She doesn't love u bro. Simple
Lolz,abeg who be this....I can't stop laughing at ur comment.This one na pure otapiapia u wan give her.Waiting for rape news after d concussion😄.This comment has just made my day😄.
Nkechi Nkechi Nkechi!!!! How many times did i call ur name? Dont ever use my slang again. Slang wey i dey use chop all them yoruba pussy
U are very silly with this ur comment.So marrying a virgin is now a sin abi?U don't know there are blessings attached to it.We have lost our traditional values...If u don't know what to say.Just keep ur mouth shut.
Bros you need to check yourself out too. Hope you do not have a mouth odour or anything that irritates her about you. You have to work on yourself such that she will feel hungry for you.
Waco speaks!!
Are you serious! So you that call yourself his wife sef dey comments! You don't even have shame atall! A man is complaining about your weakness in bed all you to say is that you are tired of " having SEX" with him!!!!! Like seriously!.......if the man give another woman belle outside and he see you as nobody then you will say he is wicked! not knowing you the wicked one here mmtchew! Pls change cos in marriage SEX is one of the most important thing o! # candid Advice#
Hmmm she needs binding and scattering for her head to be corrected.She for no marry nah....wetin be her own self...
Please, which one is 'missionary' style? Educate me please.
Why are u telling the person to sharap.She just nailed it.It's what she was taught that she is exhibiting.
Wao! You are so mean o!! Hummm buh that jot nice na! If the guy bone and she go and have it out nko!
I'm sure she wasn't like that before you got married to her. She is hurt within and knows about your whores
Nice
Hmm..
OKORO UPGRADED **
Well marriage is another school where u both can teach each other new things but U have to change first if u want her to change. Sex starts in the mind, so Communicate more, be her friend,Help her build her confidence. U know... initiate more foreplay the ones that she is comfortable with.
Lol. @Pearlz. Sad to see people going thru things like dis. I'm available (privately) to help out. hola @ mikeabu2014@yahoo.com
My friend, yr wife can become the woman u desire but it all depends on ur willingness to make it work.It is going to be a slow process but start with the basics. First u have work first on urself. Stop cheating. Communicate your feelings to her and encourage her to do the same by asking her questions about her past, childhood, playing though. You can also start by telling her about urself first. Play more with her to help her build her libido but start with what she is comfortable with.Play little sex games like truth and dare. Find out where and what makes her tick, compliment her more.You can try sex-ting her at work or surprise her by dressing in a sexy way. Buy her lingeries u want to see her in, Take her to romantic places. Caress her more ,offer to give her massages. kiss,hug,tap her wen no one is looking. take baths with her though she will be shy at first. Walk naked wen no one is around. U can google more way to help her. Always let her know she is the woman of your dreams and that she can be better. And don't forget to pray for her.
The cheating bothers her. She's upset because she knows you're getting it outside and your touch repulses her because you've used your hands on so many others. Have you talked to her about wanting to start fresh? Knowing that the infidelities have stopped could open her more up to you.
Well that's what u get for marrying a virgin. By the way.. tie her & shave her!
hmmm, very sad, no excuse for cheating but I'm sure lots of peeps will forgive you and say they understand. You are not alone, I use to think all women loveeeeee sex but now I know better, lots of women are like this, especially not wanting anything else but missionary on the bed, Dont know what to tell you, communication maybe, explain to her your pain and what she's putting you through. I also agree about counselling, it may help.
I'm sure she has never come.
Buy her a clitoral vibrator she can use and learn to make herself cum. Let her use it for a short while the seize it. She will start gagging for it
Guy you probably don't satisfy her or Yall didn't have any chemistry to begin with, duh! Chai I trust my boyfriend he's looking at me lasan I don turn aquafina. I no dey dull myself biko
Ebira man anon
Ebira man
you see yourself! i wan marry virgin, i wan marry virgin, wedding night things! e never end for your eyes now aby?
well just get her drunk or perhaps place loads of (money)currency bundles on the bed may be money gets her honey lmao
Abuja ND u
Councelling can help, but you sef why you go marry deeper life?
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