Dear LIB readers: My husband insists I remove my maiden name from my name
From a female LIB reader
I've been married for seven months now and I'm bearing my husband's name alongside my father's name. My husband doesn't like it and is insisting I bear his name only and remove my father's name but that's hard for me because I've used my father's name professionally for over ten years and that's the name everyone knows. Why can't a woman retain her maiden name after marriage? What do I do, he's really insisting.
IN AFRICAN TRADITION WOMEN WERE ALLOWED TO BEAR THEIR FATHERS NAME EVEN WHILE MARRIED. MY GRAND MOTHER BEARED HER FATHER'S NAME ALL HER LIFE; THERE IS NO RECORD OF HER EVER SEPARATING FROM HER HUSBAND. SO THESE MODERN PEOPLE BETTER SIT UP AND DEAL WITH REAL ISSUES AND NOT PETTY THINGS LIKE NAME CHANGE
someone please educate me. what's in a name? I still bear my fathers name although I did a change of name. there is no law compelling women to change their name in this country and I don't see why it has to be a big deal. bearing your fathers name doesn't mean u want to go back to your family. men and their ego
Do u realise you' e been called "bitch" more than any other chic on this blog. Don't u think it's high time u grew up, miss Willie... U need to learn how to talk so that people will drop that word. You're indeed a bitch.
Well, am yet to come across any law that made it compulsory for a woman to use only her husband name after marriage. It is only necessary and not compulsory. Only those men that feel insecure insist on dat. its really nothing. But for the sake of love, u need to make him understand and this will depend largely on d power of ur tongue
There is absolutely no need to b rude bout dis stuff...shez answering her husbands name is she not? I still c no reason at all y she shud remove her maiden name. Its nly in Nigeria wia dis kind of tin can cause a major problem.
It seems alot of single NFA women are on Linda Ikeji, Giving bad advice. Its not something that should not even be debated, It's either you don't love your husband or you are a self worshipper. Get off your high horse.
Sylvia, pls purge your mind of such beliefs. So if she doesn't change her name another women would enter the picture? Just cos of name change? Let's stop making men out to be imbeciles, like they have no self control or reasoning. "If you don't do this, then the man will do that". They should've discussed the name issue before the wedding.
Hillary CLINTON, Michelle OBAMA, your MAMA, Patience JONATHAN, Dora AKUNYULI (of blessed memory), Cecilia IBRU....... na u big pass dem????? abeg na only u waka com for dis mata ooo. You either Stay married or Get single again
Why exactly does joining of names disgust you? How is it any of your business? I joined names, my husband doesn't care and we been happily married with 3 kids. My husband is Igbo by the way. I have my reasons for doing that and hubby understands. Don't push your insecurities on others in the name of "tradition".
LOL.. BUT WHY ARE WOMEN SO SELFISH?? IT IS JUST STUPID TO THINK THAT YOU WILL BE A WIFE AND DO EVERYTHING A WIFE DOES WHILE BEARING YOUR FATHER'S NAME.. THAT MAKES YOU MORE OF A SLAVE THAN A WIFE. BUT THEN WHEN YOU HAVE HIS NAME YOU ARE NOT ONLY A WIFE, YOU ARE 'HIM' IN HIS ABSENCE. JUST 7 MONTHS AND THIS FLIMSY THING IS ALREADY MUCH OF AN ISSUE. IF I SEE YOUR HUSBAND I WILL GIVE HIM A NEW BITCH THAT WILL IN FACT ANSWER HIS NAME AND HIS SURNAME!! NOW HOW'S THAT FOR A STICK OF FLAVOURED WEED???
This shouldnt be a damn problem na! i have been married for the past 8years and i still use my maiden name,my husband is not even crying over that plus i am not even bearing his name and we have 2children together.Abeg ur hubby shld stop taking things personal jor!Iranu
theres nothing more than an insecure man. your husband is insecure thats why u are having this problem. my soon to be ex is insecure thats why im waiting for him to break up with me. would have ended it myself but i cant be too sure he wont kill himself so i'll rather wait for him to get tired of me
@Fizzichillio your comment shows ur level of reasoning. did u see the reason for her not wanting to change her name. after creating a brand for herself with that name u think its so easy to change it because u fell in love with a man who is too selfish to understand the need for a compound name. shes not even saying oh let me just keep my fathers name she wants to use both but he doesnt think thats enough for him. mayy the lord keep me away from insecure men
to all those asking did ur mama use her fathers name. no my mama didnt. why u may ask. well she got married early and she hadnt made much of a name for herself... to all those mentioning mrs ibru, obama jonathan and the likes do u know when they got married. had they achieved alot with their maiden names. if yes then they made great sacrifices if not then why are u mentioning their name. our dear lib readers question is based on the fact that she has made a name for herself with her maiden name for 10 years. so please read carefully before commenting
Tell him to fuck off!!! The fact that you are married does not mean you throw ur family away.... dont know how name affects marriage... Bloody tradition..
231 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 231 of 231IN AFRICAN TRADITION WOMEN WERE ALLOWED TO BEAR THEIR FATHERS NAME EVEN WHILE MARRIED. MY GRAND MOTHER BEARED HER FATHER'S NAME ALL HER LIFE; THERE IS NO RECORD OF HER EVER SEPARATING FROM HER HUSBAND. SO THESE MODERN PEOPLE BETTER SIT UP AND DEAL WITH REAL ISSUES AND NOT PETTY THINGS LIKE NAME CHANGE
Is your mother bearing her fathers name alongside your dad's? ewu
Is your mother bearing her fathers name alongside your dad's? ewu
Women!!!!
someone please educate me. what's in a name? I still bear my fathers name although I did a change of name. there is no law compelling women to change their name in this country and I don't see why it has to be a big deal. bearing your fathers name doesn't mean u want to go back to your family. men and their ego
ehen, b4 nko?
y she nor go remove the name? abeg mk she park well jor!n which kain shakara be this one? mtchewwww
she's not serious
dis one she dey struggle to keep the name sef? is ur father dangote or otedola? cos dats d only time i can see reason y she wnts to keep d maiden name
Do u realise you' e been called "bitch" more than any other chic on this blog. Don't u think it's high time u grew up, miss Willie... U need to learn how to talk so that people will drop that word. You're indeed a bitch.
Bitch be talking....
Some people are telling her not to mind her husband,meanwhile most of them are not bearing their maiden name. Be wise! Remove ur maiden name.
Well, am yet to come across any law that made it compulsory for a woman to use only her husband name after marriage. It is only necessary and not compulsory. Only those men that feel insecure insist on dat. its really nothing. But for the sake of love, u need to make him understand and this will depend largely on d power of ur tongue
There is absolutely no need to b rude bout dis stuff...shez answering her husbands name is she not? I still c no reason at all y she shud remove her maiden name. Its nly in Nigeria wia dis kind of tin can cause a major problem.
It seems alot of single NFA women are on Linda Ikeji, Giving bad advice. Its not something that should not even be debated, It's either you don't love your husband or you are a self worshipper. Get off your high horse.
If I was ur husband I wouldn't argue with you.
Mr Michael, GOD has nothing to do with name change in marriage. If you are going to argue for name chage in marriage at least make a valid point.
ZZ
Sylvia, pls purge your mind of such beliefs. So if she doesn't change her name another women would enter the picture? Just cos of name change?
Let's stop making men out to be imbeciles, like they have no self control or reasoning. "If you don't do this, then the man will do that".
They should've discussed the name issue before the wedding.
ZZ
Oh pls! Testing her loyalty? After the wedding? Bring a better argument abeg.
FYI, the practice of the woman changing her name was introduced to us by the westerners. So don't start with the "we are not westerners" bull shit.
Hillary CLINTON, Michelle OBAMA, your MAMA, Patience JONATHAN, Dora AKUNYULI (of blessed memory), Cecilia IBRU....... na u big pass dem????? abeg na only u waka com for dis mata ooo. You either Stay married or Get single again
Why exactly does joining of names disgust you? How is it any of your business?
I joined names, my husband doesn't care and we been happily married with 3 kids. My husband is Igbo by the way. I have my reasons for doing that and hubby understands. Don't push your insecurities on others in the name of "tradition".
Did he marry you on credit? NO!was your bride price not fully paid? Yes! You signed for it so do as your hubby says.
LOL.. BUT WHY ARE WOMEN SO SELFISH?? IT IS JUST STUPID TO THINK THAT YOU WILL BE A WIFE AND DO EVERYTHING A WIFE DOES WHILE BEARING YOUR FATHER'S NAME.. THAT MAKES YOU MORE OF A SLAVE THAN A WIFE. BUT THEN WHEN YOU HAVE HIS NAME YOU ARE NOT ONLY A WIFE, YOU ARE 'HIM' IN HIS ABSENCE. JUST 7 MONTHS AND THIS FLIMSY THING IS ALREADY MUCH OF AN ISSUE. IF I SEE YOUR HUSBAND I WILL GIVE HIM A NEW BITCH THAT WILL IN FACT ANSWER HIS NAME AND HIS SURNAME!! NOW HOW'S THAT FOR A STICK OF FLAVOURED WEED???
#Fizz
This shouldnt be a damn problem na! i have been married for the past 8years and i still use my maiden name,my husband is not even crying over that plus i am not even bearing his name and we have 2children together.Abeg ur hubby shld stop taking things personal jor!Iranu
Owns you??? You have completely lost you already non existent mind. No one owns another human being.
Simple question too, did your mama use your papa name.........women of nowadays, you just want to dey have your way shaaaaaa.........
theres nothing more than an insecure man. your husband is insecure thats why u are having this problem. my soon to be ex is insecure thats why im waiting for him to break up with me. would have ended it myself but i cant be too sure he wont kill himself so i'll rather wait for him to get tired of me
@Fizzichillio your comment shows ur level of reasoning. did u see the reason for her not wanting to change her name. after creating a brand for herself with that name u think its so easy to change it because u fell in love with a man who is too selfish to understand the need for a compound name. shes not even saying oh let me just keep my fathers name she wants to use both but he doesnt think thats enough for him. mayy the lord keep me away from insecure men
to all those asking did ur mama use her fathers name. no my mama didnt. why u may ask. well she got married early and she hadnt made much of a name for herself... to all those mentioning mrs ibru, obama jonathan and the likes do u know when they got married. had they achieved alot with their maiden names. if yes then they made great sacrifices if not then why are u mentioning their name. our dear lib readers question is based on the fact that she has made a name for herself with her maiden name for 10 years. so please read carefully before commenting
Haba that shouldn't cause an issue. Kindly re-discuss with him. By His grace he will understand.
flexycouture@yahoo.com
Tell him to fuck off!!! The fact that you are married does not mean you throw ur family away.... dont know how name affects marriage... Bloody tradition..
Lol.....Badoo and Wilhelmina. I reserve my comment.
Must she be in her father's house, she can get a house of her own, you know
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